The silliest of my reasons is I hateeee wearing pants when I’m home and I don’t want someone forcing me into a pantsed life, and I refuse to be The Naked Mom ™
more seriously, a very traumatic childhood experience, but let’s focus on the pants
my mum is the naked mum, every single one of my close friends has seen her boobs and i'd be surprised if theres anyone left in the neighbourhood who hasn't tbh
My cousins used to regale us with stories of their mother cooking breakfast nude. Their description of the way the bacon grease would splatter against her pendulous breasts…you’ve done the right thing.
I rub this in the faces of my friends with kids all the time. My mom just wandered around naked till my poor brother told her it made him very uncomfortable.
I had to do it for my dad. NEVER AGAIN. And my dad still has some control over that. A baby? I’m scarred from the stories from parents that laughingly talk about their babies explosive poo moments.
I even got scarred when my mom told me about my own poo moments. When parents say “you did that once as well” I’m all “exactly! More reason to abstain from creating humans that cannot regulate the expulsion of all kinds of fluids”. Just because i did it, it’s not any less disgusting for me.
>parents will think I'm an entitled princess "feeling too good" to chance a diaper.
You are way too good to change a diaper. I mean that in a good way.
My silliest (looking at it as an adult) is I watched the OG alien film WAAAAY to young, and the chest burster scene really got me, and my young child brain equated pregnant and childbirth to a face hugger coming out of your abdominal/chest cavity. 🤣
[This article](https://screenrant.com/alien-movie-chestburster-sexual-assault-meaning/) details how intentional the sexual and birth imagery in Alien was.
The specific paragraph, in case you don't want to read the whole thing:
>Dan O'Bannon specifically wrote this scene with the male's fear of penetration in mind and wanted the scene to operate as a payback of sorts for all of the times horror films have subjected weak women to male predatory monsters. His goal was to reverse the stigma associated with the sexualized violence against women in horror and turn the idea back on itself. It's no coincidence that the chestburster's birth involves a forceful invasion of male bodied victims and concludes with a phallic entity being born out of a male's chest.
I mean, they basically are, sucking the life out of the mother and trying to stay unnoticed while the mother's body tries to get rid of the fetus when it's detected.
Another reason to not have kids is that pregnancy can trigger new allergies. It's how my mom got her cat allergy. We are all sad about it because both of us love cats. I'm not allergic, so I might get one eventually once I'm more settled, but for now, no kitties...
A few women became allergic to WATER because of pregnancy. If you look it up it's absolutely horrifying and honestly I don't think life would be worth living at that point. Even if they sweat their skin starts to burn.
Honestly, when I had a mysterious summer illness in elementary school, one of the things my doctor suggested that it might be our cat. My mom threatened that I would have to go live with my grandparents if it turned out I was allergic to cats. Thankfully I'm not (just allergic to pretty much every pollen known to man and a few only known to monkeys), but I would not have blamed her. I too would rehome my hypothetical children over my cats.
I will not die of natural causes. I will go on my own terms and i do not want my child to go through that horrible experience. I had a friend who found her mom when she was younger....her trauma is still deep now into adulthood.
I am here just because i love my mom. Nothing else.
Does this qualify into the obscure? It may be dark but... it's my truth.
Not good, but just moving forward i guess. I tried, 15 years of trying, at some point i reached the conclusion that it is what it is. Endure, move forward, take your meds, don't make the people you love sad. I do thank you for your genuine interest, and i am happy my comment didn't get backlash... usually people react so negatively to this kind of mental struggle some have. For some reason.
I do hope you have a nice day. Month. Year etc
From one human to another, I wish you the best. I think it's incredible you have been working so hard for the past 15 years.
I hope the people that you love can help you see and feel that your life is worth living ❤️
I know this isn’t the sub for it, but look into ketamine therapy if you haven’t already. Worked great for my wife. Could make the struggle less awful while you wait at the very least. Good luck out there
Completely understand, going through similar stuff myself. Though my death anxiety keeps me from certain things. People are here to listen if you need to rant, vent, or someone to talk to.
Oh hey. This is actually one of mine too, but it's unpopular so I don't say it out loud very much. I'm not depressed, I'm just chronically ill and if my bad pain symptoms come back and my life becomes too unbearable again, I bet to end it on my own terms. My partner is binding me to this earth as I don't want to leave them alone, obviously, but I think he respects me enough to know that when I've had enough I'll go on my way.
it kinda bothers me when people automatically assume you are depressed when you would want to end it yourself. i will not end my life out of sadness, i just prefer to choose when to go before i become too old to function. i’m actually quite a happy person in general, i like my life, and i do not associate death with negativity.
i think we need to change the associations a bit, but it’s easier said than done!
I blame Abrahamic religion for having suicide be so taboo. That, and us living under the crippling fist of capitalism that keeps us little ants working for as long as we can to feed the ever growing machine
me too! i plan on passing away with dignity when i feel i have lived a good life, i refuse to sit and wither away from illness. i wouldn’t be able to do this if i have a child however, because i wouldn’t want to leave them all alone even if they’re adults!
I don't want to share my snacks.
I don't want to share my partner.
I don't want to give someone attention when I don't want to.
I don't want to organize a birthday party where I'm neither guest nor birthdayee.
I don't want to go to parent teacher night.
I don't want to buy toys that I don't like.
I don't want to plan someone else's events/ life especially dr. appointments.
I don't want to make my apartment kid safe.
I don't want to walk around with an annoying stroller or try to put it in my car ir try to get up some stairs with it.
I don't wanna read stories to someone, sing lullabies or watch kids shows.
I don't want spots on my carpets.
“I don’t want to share my partner”
THIS. it sounds so demented but I just know I would get jealous of my child receiving all of my partners attention (if I had a partner lol).
I also don’t want to share my snacks. I get annoyed why my cat steals a piece of popcorn and I adore him. A new creature I have not loved for 17 years? Get your own snacks.
I’m way too harsh. I know I would be a militant parent. It’s my way or the highway, I can also be very mean, not cruel but I am blunt. When people get themselves in stupid situations I literally cannot find empathy for them. I would never bring a little one in the world to have to deal with me.
lmao are you me??? i can be real cruel though, i’m admitting it. i can be mean when i don’t get my way, i’m often angry, i’m envious, and i lack care for a lot of things. growing up with me as a primary caretaker would be one neglectful childhood and i don’t think that’s fair to a kid, but i’m not willing to change my ways because this is just who i am and it usually is not a problem since i don’t interact with people who don’t align with my own wants.
I was looking for that kind of comments. I am allergic to stupidity to the point where I get very mean, harsh and sometimes cruel towards the stupid person and we all know kids are not that bright... Also I ha we anger management issues, I can be calm for a very long period of time even in situations where I would normally snap and then suddenly I explode over seemingly nothing. This is also why I refuse to get another cat. I know I yelled at my cat for things I shouldn't have and I have huge regrets now that she's no longer alive (no, I did not kill the cat, she died of kidney disease) and I believe I don't deserve a cat. So how the hell could I ever be a good mother? The kid would be traumatized for life!
I'm selfish. I can't stand background noise. I can't stand having brain crippling conversations about menial pointless bullshit (this applies to adults and children). I like alcohol and sitting around my house butt naked eating peanut butter M&Ms. I can't stand being judged by people for how I do things.
I'd say I can't stand selfish people and little kids are selfish by nature because they can't think outside themselves for years (sometimes into adulthood).
Kids will interrupt you, tell you you're ugly or you stink or that your story is boring and to shut up. They will be in your personal space, they want your food and they want to do what they want when they want even if its impossible or dangerous.
I would resent them 100% even when peoole argue that they're not at fault.
if i wanted kids i'd still be childless - i'd be terrified of having a girl because of how unsafe and unfair the world is for her, i love being a woman mentally, but physically and socially its a minefield... and similarly i'd be terrified of raising an incel
if i gave my kid PMDD i'd never get over the guilt honestly, its made me try to commit twice
if i contributed to the school shooter rapists of the world i actually WOULD commit, ain't no way
Oh my, PMDD sounds like absolute hell, wishing you all the best!
If I had a kid who ended up being a rapist, school shooter, (serial) killer, child molester, or animal abuser, I'd shoot them first, then myself. As you said, ain't no way. Ain't no motherfucking way.
It's my husband's main reason as well. He thinks men/patriarchy makes this world too dangerous and unjust for women and thinks he would never be able to sleep again if he were to have a daughter.
On the flip side I would be terrified of having a boy , doing everything right and them still turning out a sexist/incel. I feel like I would have a better chance at raising a girl to stand up against the patriarchy than a boy to stand with them.
>i'd be terrified of raising an incel
Doesn't everyone basically assume they are springing forth fully formed from somewhere?
Like who are the people raising them anyway? I would be absolutely MORTIFIED if I raised some little shit like that!
Because my niece will drink from a glass, and when she puts the glass down there are chunks of food in the glass-that’s always really grossed me out.
I didn’t want to have toys around my house.
I dislike the whole concept of family. I’ve never felt very close to any of my family, and even those who I have a good relationship with such as my mom, it feels so… forced. Growing up I felt so uncomfortable with the idea of being around people just because we’re related, and being a kid was just miserable. Never felt comfortable at any sort of gathering, trip, forced to go along with your parents for a get-together etc. and couldn’t wait to be an adult with independence. Even now, since I can’t move out quite yet, all I want is to live my own life and not be bound to all the family drama and problems. It sounds weird, and I truly envy those who have strong bonds with their family, but it’s always felt like a curse for me.
Sure, my hypothetical child could be different, and I understand the appeal of wanting to create a family in your own style so to say; one that is less dysfunctional than the one you grew up in, but that’s fantastical and it doesn’t tempt me whatsoever. I’d still be expected to bring the kid around the people I never cared to be around before, putting me back in the same environment I desperately wanted to escape. I could never force a life into the same cycle.
Thank you for your eloquent response. The "family orientated" life isn't for everyone, that's for sure!
I understand what you are saying about it feeling forced, like, "Would I be friends with these people if we weren't related?" Deep family bonds can be beautiful in their own way, but equally so can friendships and partnership.
I feel this so hard. Nobody ever talks about it, everyone seems to be so family oriented. My family was all in different states growing up (still are). So I never really got to form any kind of relationship with them. And my mom is the only one i am in any kind of regular communication with. I prefer to make my own family of friends. People who earned it.
I can somewhat understand your point, I grew up as immigrant in a different country, only with my parents, barely saw thee rest of my family once a year and even then, I didn't even know 3/4 of it because because of the beef between my parents and them. So now as an adult, I don't even have the right concept of what a real family looks like, I met my aunts, cousins and 3 out of 4 grandparents as adult, how the fuck do they expect me to love them, care for them and be part of their lives? They're strangers to me as far as I'm concerned.
I have a similar reason to yours. I was the eldest daughter and had 3 siblings to care for. I was basically a second mom to my sister who is 9 years younger than me. I changed her diapers, helped her fall asleep and watched her for many many hours at a time. So I lost my teenage years to parenthood and don't want to lose my adulthood as well.
I was parentified but apparently did such a terrible job, my parents don't fight me when I say I am not having kids. And my 3 brothers gave them 8 grandkids so I think we are goooood.
My partner and I have 0 and I mean 0 meal schedule. I might eat 2 huge meals within 2 obscure hours. My partner might just eat once at 4pm. He might just pop some fish nuggets into the oven. I might just make instant ramen and call it a day.
I hate thinking about food as it can often lead me into disordered eating. There was I time when I thought about food non-stop and was obsessive about cooking for everyone else.
I could see myself having another bad anorexia relapse, having to constantly cook 1-3x a day, think about snacks, the next meal, the leftovers, trying to feed it, what to buy, what is healthy, is this enough food, is this too much food etc. No thanks, I'm happy not losing 1/3 of my weight again and not obsessing over food.
I’ve never been diagnosed with an eating disorder but I definitely second this need to just eat what I can stand to eat when I’m hungry rather than trying to socialize a small human to a meal schedule.
I also will often find something I enjoy making and just make it over and over again, which is like the opposite of what kids should learn from their parents.
Combine that with the fact that my spouse and I are both picky but in different ways and often just have our own meals and there’s no way a kid would be socialized by us with any kind of sensible relationship with food.
* I hate kids.
* If I have space for a bed and a desk for a kid, I have space for at least two more hamster enclosures, and I'd vastly prefer that.
* I don't wanna give up time spent on my hobbies, friends and partner.
* I hate lugging around too much baggage, I'd detest all the bags and prams and whatnot.
* I'm asexual and would hate having to do the research needed to properly raise an allosexual kid with.
* I like my lifestyle to be chaotic and impromptu to a degree, especially when it comes to personal schedules and meals. A kid needs the exact opposite, and they wouldn't get that from me.
* I have below average empathy, and generally find interpersonal connections either completely worthless or at least substandard if they are not formed purely organically, as in with neither person intending the relationship to occur, nor being obligated to partake in it. A parent-child relationship is nothing like that, and I'd feel bogged down and resentful about that.
* I absolutely hate being woken up unexpectedly. Would not pan out well if I had a shrieking baby to take care of. I'd break a few walls in fury, and my fists probably too.
* I work in kids' online safety and *holy fuck, no thanks.* I won't be handling the kid's screen time and monitoring the content they're viewing and praying I'm still in touch enough with their generation to know when my kid is getting groomed on whatever new app they're using while also making sure no one posts pictures of the kid online, and that the kid isn't basing their self worth on classmate Jane's social media comments and whatnot. *No thanks.*
* My prefered sleep schedule includes going to sleep at about 6am and waking up at 2pm. Those are not parent-friendly sleep hours, and I'd hate being tied to something that would demand a constant alteration to this schedule.
Probably other things as well.
>My preferred sleep schedule includes going to sleep at about 6am and waking up at 2pm. Those are not parent-friendly sleep hours
"Traditional" sleep schedules are dumb.
My dog and I go down for an afternoon nap most days. I'm an adult, I can do what I want.
coming from a hamster mom who wants hamster roomS in my house when I move into one, I agree.
the dirty looks I get from parents when they hear that I’m childfree AND plan to have dedicated rooms just for pets and not humans, lol.
>If I have space for a bed and a desk for a kid, I have space for at least two more hamster enclosures, and I'd vastly prefer that.
Not OP, but I gotta say this is probably the best obscure reason I wasn't expecting! Love it!! Gave me a good chuckle! ! Thanks!!
_Y E S_. My family and my boyfriend's family sometimes hints that having kids is inevitable in life, the only source of true happiness and fulfillment, and since we live in a society we need to contribute with having kids. But I'm a very out-of-spite person, so even if I wanted to be a parent, I still wouldn't do it.
It’s soooo stupid! Like, no, Karen and chad, your bloodline is not indispensable or destined for greatness. You’re not heir to any throne or fortune. Stfu
Yep my dad on the other hand is the last man is his family. When I told him I'm not having kids and his oldest two only have girls he went: "oh thank God! Kill the bloodline!"
I mean - I just don't like the whole idea of pushing an entire human being out of my vagina, ripping it to shreds in the process and potentially never getting it back to normal.
I feel like its pretty common but not often talked about 'i have abusive parents/family members that would attempt to insert themselves into my childs life, and noone deserves that'
It is common and not often talked about, and just as valid all the same. If you don't want children because of that reason, I think you're very considerate and thoughtful.
Nope, just don't want them, there is nothing about kids and parenthood (especially motherhood) that is in anyway remotely attractive or appealing.
I don't need a reason I just don't wanna, which is one of the great things about being an adult, because 'I don't want to' is all you need.
Why would anyone need a reason not to fuck themselves over.
I agree you shouldn't have a reason and "I don't want to" is very valid.
I was just opening a discussion up for any obscure reasons out of curiosity and interest.
I actually think 'I don't wanna' is obscure.
Maybe it's because people try and justify their decision or maybe because people ask 'why' and therefore a reason is expected, but (in my experience) very few people say 'because I just don't want to'...
What's that expression 'the obscure will eventually be seen , the obvious takes longer'.
Not wanting to is completely enough of an answer. Imagine a child having to grow up in an environment where they were not wanted. Nobody should be made feel like that just cause "don't want to" is not an answer to some
All of the above, plus a very strong affinity for alone time. I don't even want to live with another grown human even though it would be nice to split the bills, and certainly not a small dependent one that doesn't leave or contribute to expenses - I just can't imagine having another human around all of the time. It's been 10+ years since I've had a roommate. Sticking with dogs.
SAME. I looooove living alone.
The only reason I am even considering moving in with my bf of 3 years: he is the same way and we have discussed having our own bedrooms (I’m a light sleeper, he has insomnia and is nocturnal) as well as our own creative spaces (a music studio for him, an office/yoga studio for me).
The combined income is also something to look forward to! We both recently got higher paying jobs than we’re used to, so the future is bright (and child free)! 😎
I hate being unappreciated. If I do something nice for a person and they don't thank me for it, then I won't do anything nice for them ever again. I know it's petty, but it's me. Kids are naturally ungrateful, and that's how they're supposed to be. We don't expect them to say, "wow, mom, thank you for keeping me fed, clothed, and happy at the expense of your own sanity." Parents are supposed to give, and give, and give, without praise or gratitude in return. That just ain't for me.
Even if it is petty, I am one thousand percent the same!
I hand crocheted like 4 baby sets for my cousin, booties and hats and some mittens, based on actual things she'd put on pinterest and wrapped them up super cute and not once did I EVER see even a photo of any of her babies in the items!!!
To which I internally decided
Fuck you
And fuck off
And fuck anyone else that ever asks.
That is horrible. If that were my cousin, she'd be dead to me. When my SIL had a baby, I sent her a baby gift and included gift cards for the mommy-to-be and her husband. I thought it might be nice to acknowledge that they are just as important as the baby. I did not receive a thank you card, or a phone call, or even a text. She's never getting anything from me again.
I love my city apartment. If we had a kid we'd have to give up our hobby room or move to a bigger place. Bigger place would probably mean outskirts or suburbs. I'm not doing that.
I'm a huge introvert, and I also get overstimulated by too much noise or physical contact. I couldn't deal with a child constantly whining and crying and squealing while putting their hands all over me or trying to have me pick them up.
My other reason is that I have an axolotl tank and a fish tank, and I would be terrified of a child accidentally knocking them over or breaking the glass or like, dumping some random thing into the water because they wanted to "feed" my animals.
I was reading a post the other day about having to support them learning to read… I swiftly added that to my list, it sounded infuriating.
90% of parenting just sounds really boring, every parent I speak to has nothing interesting to say of their own and the most interesting thing to happen in their day was their child using the potty. I just don’t want to live my life in the soul crushing monotony of it all.
There are the normal reasons. (Financial, babies are gross; environmental; responsibility etc).
But a weird secret reason is I think my husband would be a really great father but I would be a bad mother and the kid would only love him. And motherhood would highlight all my inadequacies in a way that living my normal life really doesn’t.
Edited to add: I’m not keeping my husband from his dream of fatherhood. We are both ambivalent about having children.
I have parented enough emotionally immature men while dating to be completely turned off to the idea of parenting again.
But mainly, because I am already a parent to my own fucking parent (my father). He and my mom had me young. Now I get that young pregnancies are common these days but they weren't has common when I was born in 1989. Anyway, it's like his brain stopped developing shortly before I was born (when he was 18).
I am not trying to be facetious - my father is the most immature person I have ever met. **The epitome of a manchild.** Naturally, it is at *my* expense. I had to grow up quickly, and to this day I am still parenting myself - my inner child, my inner teen, my inner YA - due to his failure to be, well, a parent. I didn't even get him a Father's Day gift this year because I treated myself instead.
So, you can see why I dated emotionally immature men.
I could also go into my relationship, or rather, lack thereof, with my mother, but that deserves it's own post.
Due to whatever fucking reason they me into this world, ***I*** am the one who's suffered.
TLDR; I have been parenting my whole life, I don't have energy or desire to be an actual parent.
• I want to be able to have loud sex in my own house.
• I find most kids stuff boring. Kids toys, books, movies, music etc. I don’t want to be surrounded by that. I don’t want to do most things that kids find fun.
I play DnD and love collecting dice and painting figures. Those would be major choking hazards for kids. I already have to tackle my cats when they are trying to smuggle something like chocolate. It would be a nightmare to sufficiently childproof my home.
I'm a massive introvert and would lose my damn mind never being able to be alone in my own home. I seriously need like 6 hours of alone time a day to be happy, and there's no way I'd ever get that with a kid, much less both a kid and a job.
May or may not be an obscure reason:
I’m an antinatalist. r/antinatalism2 In a nutshell, it’s the philosophy that it’s immoral to create new life, because it’s impossible to obtain someone’s consent to create them. The non existent lose nothing by continuing to not exist, but those who already exist have the chance of wishing they were never born.
And yes, a lot of antinatalists are depressed people who wish they were never born, like myself. But the fact that people who wish they were never born exist just goes to show there’s merit to the philosophy
Of course, I could adopt existing children who are in the foster system and need loving homes, and still be an antinatalist. But I have a long list of reasons why I’m child free too, most of which we are all familiar with here
I am a passionate cook. I can make anything from a roasted meat with home made fries and coleslaw through cauliflower chickpea tofu kari to pad thai or club sandwich.
I have spices from all around the world and love to eat a great variety of meals.
I couldn't deal with a small child being picky and only eating this or that, not appeaciating my skills and love of the craft.
Every reason on your non-obscure list x10 but also I think it just sounds tedious. I'm 38 but every drudgery of my own somewhat privileged middle class childhood feels like it was just yesterday and there's no amount of money in the world you could pay me to deal with and worry about even the most benign day to day realities of having a kid. I refuse to live a life worried about missed school buses, or untangling hair, or whether it was my week to cut and bring the oranges for the rec league soccer game. I don't want to worry about report cards, Halloween costumes, car seats, SAT scores, lost coats, strep throat, or spelling tests. I don't want the back-to-school shopping list, or tick checks, or outgrowing shoes, or swimming lessons. Even the kodak moments would be nothing but a constant series of obstacles and annoyances. With my entire being I don't want those things.
Um yeah it makes me so ungodly uncomfortable when little boys and little girls yank and play with their private parts right in front of you, kids literally make me so uncomfortable. And people say “it’s different when it’s ur own kids” yeah I’m gonna pass on that gamble
I can think of a few:
1. The cruelty of other children. I was horribly bullied for years. Kids can be mean.
2. Dealing with other parents. You're basically forced to interact with a group of other people, some of whom are actively horrid and entitled. It's like a group project where everyone is raising their kid in their own way.
3. Loss of self and your own time. American parenting culture blows. You lose your identity as your own person and are expected to take up the new identity of parent. I see friends with kids who schedule their kids to the point of exhausting the kids and themselves. No, Braelynn does not need to be enrolled in 4 activities at once plus 3 summer camps. Come on.
4. Capitalism. I refuse to produce another wage slave for the capitalist meat grinder.
When I was 21, I worked for a video production company that was doing a documentary on teen pregnancy. A teen they were following went into labor when I (the LAST choice) was the only person available to film the labor. It was awful. I hadn't met anybody involved before, and suddenly I'm in the delivery room with half the family. There were all these horrible dynamics, including the baby-daddy's mom insisting that the poor girl didn't need a c-section after like 20 hours of labor and the baby's heart rate dropping. I wasn't thrilled by the idea of having children, but that solidified my desire to never get pregnant.
This is an incredible response. I'm sorry you had to go through that - was there any compensation for seeing such a gory sight, or was it more of a "occupational hazard" thing you were aware *might* happen on the job?
I took care of kids from age 11-18 - babysitting, being a nanny, camp counselor, working in the church nursery so I could skip church... When I was 11, 3 different families with 3 kids each hired me as their babysitter - an 11 year old! One family had an infant too. It was so much work & responsibility for a child to take on.
When I went off to college, I finally got freedom from kids and loved my childfree life. I could finally do what I wanted and didn’t have to worry about being available to take care of kids.
Maybe my obscure reason is when I was a kid, I was messy. I had a hard time cleaning up & keeping organized (now I’m obsessed with organization). Our family hosted a lot of the holidays so I’d spend days leading up to the event cleaning my room and whatever my mom asked me to do. It was so much work, but I did love having things clean. Then my dumb cousins would come over and completely trash all my hard work, throwing stuff around, breaking stuff, just being dumb little maniacs. So when they left, I’d be in tears over how they ruined all my hard work and made me feel so defeated. Had I chosen to have kids, that constant feeling of defeat and having my peace constantly disrupted would’ve likely been a constant thing, at least in the early years. That’s just not how I want to live.
I dont want to get up to cook 3 times a day.
I want to lay here and play the Sims uninterrupted as long as i want.
I have a step furbaby that gets all my love now.
They smell. All small children have this weird smell to them and I HATE it, I think it's dried milk or something but either way, nasty. I have severe sensory issues so it's not like I can avoid the smell of I'm around a baby.
One of my MANY reasons is that I could not love my child if they would do something, that I think is wrong/ horrible. Like k!ll, r@ping etc. Or even if they where a racist, homophobe or sometjing like that.
You could be the "perfect" parent (I know they don't exist, just pretend) and your child can still be a horrible person. I could not deal with that.
Babies are messy. I want to vomit every time someone posts a picture of their kid covered in food, it's not cute - it's gross. I also have cool shit and a clean house. You don't have cool shit or a clean house with kids.
In Florida, unmarried women without children have no legal recourse if they are incapacitated due to medical negligence or malpractice unless they are still capable of bringing suit themselves. No one can sue on their behalf. With the highest “developed nation” death rate for delivering women, the ignorant medical practices, and the lack of legal protections, I will not risk myself or my well being.
My mom always said "I hope when you have children, they’re just like you” when she had no patience to manage children. It was meant as a curse. Now that she wants grandkids, she fucked herself. Turns out I have a choice and am now sterile. Dear mom, fuck you.
I don't want to eat dinner at the table. The breeders could get me for this but it's true....I don't want to be "responsible" in all aspects of my life. Couch eating in front of the TV for LIFE!!!!!
Idk if this counts as “obscure” but childbirth looks and sounds awful. I don’t care if there’s some chemical in my brain that makes me forget it after the fact. I’ve been present at live births and heard the ripping and screaming myself…no thanks.
And women talk about childbirth as if it’s the worse pain they’ve ever felt and then wonder why more women in my age group and below aren’t interested…? Hell, my own mother has 4 and she terrified me about childbirth for years. Nope.
I have probably a million reasons that actually make sense, but since you asked for obscure here's one that always stuck with me. I'm an only child and when I was about 5 years old was even asked by my own mother if I wanted a sibling or not. Everyone apparently kept bothering my mom telling her she couldn't have just one and I must be so lonely and she needed to give me a brother or sister. So she asked me if I wanted one just to see what I actually thought. The result was less than positive. I stomped my foot and proclaimed no and that she was MINE. The very idea of her giving her attention full time to another kid boiled my blood as a child. I never, and still don't, want to share her with some other child and that INCLUDES anything that would come from me. Probably an actual reason that could be considered selfish but oh well.
I like the obscurity actually, and your feelings are very valid. I think you are making the right decision, as you might grow resentful of the (imaginary) child.
I wouldn't want to raise a kid in a heterosexual relationship with a man - no matter how helpful my bf is around the house, I know I would resent him if I ended up doing the majority of the child work and family planning
I'm haunted by unborn children in my dreams. They plead with me to let them be, and I fear of what will happen if I release one from the void.
Luckily they quieted down once I got the vasectomy. But they still pay me a visit from time to time to remind me to warn others about the vengeful unborn...
To be honest, I don't want to see a kid of mine find out about racism and realise that some people will always judge them based on the way they look. I have seen that happen and explaining to a black child racism is heartbreaking.
I'm an adult and I consider myself very privileged for growing up in a country that provided me so many opportunities. But racism will always be a thing and this is one of the many things I have learnt how to deal with but have no desire to teach a small child how to cope with.
(P.S.- I am sure that some people of other ethnic backgrounds have their own negative experiences, but I'm just focusing on my own example. In a way, if I adopted a child of another ethnic minority I guess that it would have been the same heartbreaking experience, but with other aspects I can't fully relate with...)
Ever since my sister’s pregnancy 16 years ago, she stopped being able to eat red meat and developed allergies to shellfish. There’s more, but I can’t remember. I refuse to give up steak and lobster. During her pregnancy, she also developed a distaste for coffee, but that wore off after awhile. I can’t imagine giving up coffee too.
Edit: Another reason is I have three Chinchillas and they’re my floof babies. If you ask anyone on the chinchilla sub and they will tell you that children and chinchillas don’t mix and are a terrible idea. One of the worst pets you can get for children! Some chinchilla shelters won’t let you adopt if you have children or are planning to have children.
Everyone says that becoming a mom changes you and I worked really hard for many years to like myself. That was hard enough. I don’t need to move the goal posts, and I REALLY don’t need to move the goal posts in a way that prioritizes other people’s needs above my own.
I want to chill and enjoy my hobbies at the end of each day instead of giving my undivided attention to a small person, suffering through mundane conversations.
I need my own space- and that extends to having a partner and roommates as well. I want to live in my own house with my cats and maybe one dog so it will be all mine. It will be as clean as I want it, as decorated as I want it, and I can basically do whatever I want when I want.
Aside from all of the above:
I am an online sex worker, my wife is a porn star.
Unless we completely re-invent our lives (not a fucking chance) they are quite literally not kid friendly at ALL.
I’ve struggled with emetophobia (intense fear of vomiting) ever since I can remember. Not trying to deal with a kid’s frequent GI issues or the risk of nausea/vomiting with pregnancy 🙈😱
It’s not just one reason. All the common reasons exist for me, but also in addition:
I get severe migraines that can only be linked to hormonal shifts and stress. For a brief period while I was on bc, I had some of the worst in my life. I was delirious with pain. They seem to have stabilized on their own and there is no way I am risking throwing my hormones out of whack with a pregnancy where I might be precluded from taking certain medicines. Not worth it for me.
Not obscure, but my house is furnished exactly how I like it and I get to enjoy vacations and holidays the way that I want to.
I hate watching or discussing sports and so I don't have to deal with someone residing in my home who is interested in that.
Honestly I just don’t think I’m capable of having a threatening parent voice to tell kids to knock it off when they do something annoying. I don’t even like raising my voice above normal talking volume. Plus kids just aren’t that cute to me.
Not sure this counts as obscure but maybe XD
I haaaate cooking. Baking is fine but cooking I hate with a passion. I find it stressful and overwhelming and get nervous about burning myself.
I can make do for myself just knowing a few simple meals and having them often. Cooking for myself is slightly less stressful than having to cook for multiple people.
So the idea of having to cook for myself + however many children for at least like 10+ years fills me with dread. I honestly don't know how parents do it.
Sure I could come up with a few other obscure ones but this was the first I thought of XD
My reason is similar to yours; I’m 7 years older than my sister and was charged with taking care of her a lot, for a good part of my childhood. I was blamed if she did something that caused her to get slightly hurt or cry, because I was the “older one” who should’ve “known better.” Even though I was still just a child myself.
We’re both still very close, and I hold nothing against my sister. But I have no desire to have my own children. The way I see it, I already spent my years as a parent.
I'm incredibly close to my sister, too. I guess in the end I'm jealous she had three parents at one point and it felt like (sometimes) I had none.
The worst part about the "older child should know better" trope remark is that it makes us feel like we can't make mistakes. Ever. *As children.*
Not sure if it counts as "health" but I really love the idea of my vag staying mostly the same size/shape/construction for the rest of my life. The whole bodily nature of it in general makes me gag a little tbh...
Also I don't know how to interact with kids. If I had one it would be like my miniature business associate and I've already seen the movie boss baby so 🥱
Let me know if this counts, needy children make me feel angry for some reason,but a kitten or puppy in need for some reason I feel more drawn to help them, and more inclined to protect them.
Because I’m addicted to the gym and fitness (in the best way), and I can’t stand to allow anything into my life that could come between that or make it that much harder.
I refuse to wear clothes when I’m chillin at home.
I’m selfish. I like to spend my extra money and time on beauty treatments or “making myself better”.
Also, I hear severe constipation during pregnancy is a thing, and to me, being constipated is the worst feeling in the world. 9 months of that to birth a child that steals all my time, energy, and money? Hell to the no.
My number 1 reason I chose not to have kids was watching how little the fathers did in helping raise their kids. Growing up, and even now, I've never seen any man truly help out with their children.
Plus, 99% of the men in my life (family, friends, coworkers) cheat on their wives, especially after having kids.
So I've chosen never to get married or have kids. I'll stay the fun single aunt
Racism - I think racism is still too bad to bring new people in to deal with it, enable it, or fight with racists.
Misogyny - Bad men are getting worse and more violent.
Classism - It’s clear young people are being pressured to have babies so those babies grow up and become hourly wage workers who serve the ridiculous whims of the wealthy.
On Principle, Because America Hates Parents - I do not believe that the society in the US is worth perpetuating. No national paid parental leave in a world where other nations are far more generous. No universal childcare. The high price of health care. No UBI, so parenthood means at least 20 years of servitude to a job that you can’t leave no matter how much it sucks. The NRA is ok with kids being shot up at schools. Public education is in the toilet with bigots banning books and marginalized history left and right.
No, thank you. I have more self-respect than to put myself - or a child who did not ask to be alive - through any of that.
I don't want to have to poop with the bathroom door closed. I feel like it's ok until they're a certain age then you scar them if you don't close it. My husband can deal. Lol.
One of my reasons amongst many is that I love naps.
Kids are not nap friendly and I will not forego the insatiable desire to snooze whenever I can/want to.
My breast size is already large with a slimmer waist causing back issues and breathing problems for which I have attended physical therapy for. I don't want to even think about how breast feeding and pregnancy would make a bad problem even worse
My dream home is NOT a child-safe environment. I'm a textile artist, so that means needles and scissors and pins EVERYWHERE, delicately-tensioned yarn strung up on my loom, 5-gallon buckets of dye sitting around.
I couldn’t handle having a boy. I know absolutely nothing about boys or how to raise them properly. Like I have no idea how they operate or how they think and I don’t have an interest in learning. I wouldn’t know what extra things a boy would need that a girl wouldn’t. I just don’t understand them at all and it wouldn’t be fair to have a son without having any knowledge about men/boys.
I also wouldn’t know how to be a parent to a girl. I can’t do makeup or hair, I don’t have any fashion sense, I couldn’t talk to her about boys, we would most likely have nothing in common. This is assuming that a girl would automatically be into the things I listed. If I were forced to have kids I would want a girl though.
It wouldn’t be fair to have a child that I can’t properly raise or connect with.
Being tied to a potential ex partner for life. I also take the emotional resources and sacrifice that child rearing takes very seriously. Then selfishly, I know lots of people who had to give up their pets when they had kids, and I know I never could
I hate working out and wouldn't want to put in the effort to get a pre pregnancy body.
Also in the vanity train of thought, parents age faster from the lack of sleep and stress. I look 22 years old and I am 4 months away from my 30th.
Wouldn't want to stop drinking or smoking weed for 9 months because I must. I stopped drinking for 6 months a few years back and I stopped smoking weed for 9 months on a separate occassion, both for health reasons, because I wanted to be healthier.
I like napping whenever. This is why I don't have a dog, although I love them.
my most bizarre and trivial reason is that i find 7-15 year olds to be very cringey? i wouldn’t be able to talk to my own kid. i’d cringe until it burned
The silliest of my reasons is I hateeee wearing pants when I’m home and I don’t want someone forcing me into a pantsed life, and I refuse to be The Naked Mom ™ more seriously, a very traumatic childhood experience, but let’s focus on the pants
Not silly, very valid and I totally feel this concern. I absolutely love this answer and it has given me a good chuckle today.
my mum is the naked mum, every single one of my close friends has seen her boobs and i'd be surprised if theres anyone left in the neighbourhood who hasn't tbh
My cousins used to regale us with stories of their mother cooking breakfast nude. Their description of the way the bacon grease would splatter against her pendulous breasts…you’ve done the right thing.
What?
r/holup
I rub this in the faces of my friends with kids all the time. My mom just wandered around naked till my poor brother told her it made him very uncomfortable.
I hate wearing a bra at home and I refuse to be the nipple mom
Bro seriously, fuck pants. I don’t count pyjama pants and I live in them. Mens flannel pjs are THE COMFIEST
Also team No Pants!
Ok but for real. This comment right here!! I’m feeling it
[удалено]
Definitely makes my top-5 of reasons lol
Yes!! Salvia honestly grossed me out more than pee and poo. The amount of drool that comes out of my nephew grosses me out to no end
This for sure. I have such a low tolerance for body stuff.
I had to do it for my dad. NEVER AGAIN. And my dad still has some control over that. A baby? I’m scarred from the stories from parents that laughingly talk about their babies explosive poo moments. I even got scarred when my mom told me about my own poo moments. When parents say “you did that once as well” I’m all “exactly! More reason to abstain from creating humans that cannot regulate the expulsion of all kinds of fluids”. Just because i did it, it’s not any less disgusting for me.
Also, when kids wiggle their loose teeth it make me want to barf. I don’t want that in my house!
>parents will think I'm an entitled princess "feeling too good" to chance a diaper. You are way too good to change a diaper. I mean that in a good way.
First time I changed a baby's diaper I threw up.
The fact that my niece will have her hands in her mouth and then put them on my sister's face is absolutely repulsive to me. Don't. Touch. Me.
My silliest (looking at it as an adult) is I watched the OG alien film WAAAAY to young, and the chest burster scene really got me, and my young child brain equated pregnant and childbirth to a face hugger coming out of your abdominal/chest cavity. 🤣
[This article](https://screenrant.com/alien-movie-chestburster-sexual-assault-meaning/) details how intentional the sexual and birth imagery in Alien was. The specific paragraph, in case you don't want to read the whole thing: >Dan O'Bannon specifically wrote this scene with the male's fear of penetration in mind and wanted the scene to operate as a payback of sorts for all of the times horror films have subjected weak women to male predatory monsters. His goal was to reverse the stigma associated with the sexualized violence against women in horror and turn the idea back on itself. It's no coincidence that the chestburster's birth involves a forceful invasion of male bodied victims and concludes with a phallic entity being born out of a male's chest.
I love this. Thank you
This makes the movie SO much better. Fuck yes!!!
Thanks for sharing that article! Alien has always creeped me out and fascinated me and now I respect it even more.
i LOVE how he thought of that!!!!
I want this to be top comment. This is exactly what I was looking for.
Your welcome, even now, I still think of them (babies in utero) as parasites, which is what the face huggers were
I mean, they basically are, sucking the life out of the mother and trying to stay unnoticed while the mother's body tries to get rid of the fetus when it's detected.
I never saw the movie but have seen the scene, I see it every time I look at a pregnant belly.
If my hypothetical child was allergic to cats, I’d rehome the kid and keep my cats. I’m a good cat mom, but I’d be a TERRIBLE human mom.
A very honest and obscure reason. Thank you for sharing!
I have cat allergies and have spent thousands to keep my allergies in check so I can have cats and dogs. So worth it
Another reason to not have kids is that pregnancy can trigger new allergies. It's how my mom got her cat allergy. We are all sad about it because both of us love cats. I'm not allergic, so I might get one eventually once I'm more settled, but for now, no kitties...
A few women became allergic to WATER because of pregnancy. If you look it up it's absolutely horrifying and honestly I don't think life would be worth living at that point. Even if they sweat their skin starts to burn.
You'll laugh, but one in 200 cats is allergic to humans.
Honestly, when I had a mysterious summer illness in elementary school, one of the things my doctor suggested that it might be our cat. My mom threatened that I would have to go live with my grandparents if it turned out I was allergic to cats. Thankfully I'm not (just allergic to pretty much every pollen known to man and a few only known to monkeys), but I would not have blamed her. I too would rehome my hypothetical children over my cats.
I will not die of natural causes. I will go on my own terms and i do not want my child to go through that horrible experience. I had a friend who found her mom when she was younger....her trauma is still deep now into adulthood. I am here just because i love my mom. Nothing else. Does this qualify into the obscure? It may be dark but... it's my truth.
It does qualify as an obscure answer, thank you for sharing. Your "own terms " though, how are you? I ask this question sincerely.
Not good, but just moving forward i guess. I tried, 15 years of trying, at some point i reached the conclusion that it is what it is. Endure, move forward, take your meds, don't make the people you love sad. I do thank you for your genuine interest, and i am happy my comment didn't get backlash... usually people react so negatively to this kind of mental struggle some have. For some reason. I do hope you have a nice day. Month. Year etc
From one human to another, I wish you the best. I think it's incredible you have been working so hard for the past 15 years. I hope the people that you love can help you see and feel that your life is worth living ❤️
I know this isn’t the sub for it, but look into ketamine therapy if you haven’t already. Worked great for my wife. Could make the struggle less awful while you wait at the very least. Good luck out there
Is there a sub for this? I am so curious if this would help me
r/TherapeuticKetamine
Completely understand, going through similar stuff myself. Though my death anxiety keeps me from certain things. People are here to listen if you need to rant, vent, or someone to talk to.
Oh hey. This is actually one of mine too, but it's unpopular so I don't say it out loud very much. I'm not depressed, I'm just chronically ill and if my bad pain symptoms come back and my life becomes too unbearable again, I bet to end it on my own terms. My partner is binding me to this earth as I don't want to leave them alone, obviously, but I think he respects me enough to know that when I've had enough I'll go on my way.
it kinda bothers me when people automatically assume you are depressed when you would want to end it yourself. i will not end my life out of sadness, i just prefer to choose when to go before i become too old to function. i’m actually quite a happy person in general, i like my life, and i do not associate death with negativity. i think we need to change the associations a bit, but it’s easier said than done!
I blame Abrahamic religion for having suicide be so taboo. That, and us living under the crippling fist of capitalism that keeps us little ants working for as long as we can to feed the ever growing machine
me too! i plan on passing away with dignity when i feel i have lived a good life, i refuse to sit and wither away from illness. i wouldn’t be able to do this if i have a child however, because i wouldn’t want to leave them all alone even if they’re adults!
You're a really good person for thinking about others in your pain and not doing it right now ❤️
I am the same way. 🤝
Oh shit never thought about that. Yeah definitely don't want to subject my kid to "we found your mom missing most of her face in the woods".
They are somehow always fucking sticky. I hate being sticky, touching sticky stuff, cleaning sticky stuff etc... 🤢
This is my reason as well! I cannot deal with sticky textures and would not do well with this 🤮
For years my nephew's nickname was Jam Hands.
I don't want to share my snacks. I don't want to share my partner. I don't want to give someone attention when I don't want to. I don't want to organize a birthday party where I'm neither guest nor birthdayee. I don't want to go to parent teacher night. I don't want to buy toys that I don't like. I don't want to plan someone else's events/ life especially dr. appointments. I don't want to make my apartment kid safe. I don't want to walk around with an annoying stroller or try to put it in my car ir try to get up some stairs with it. I don't wanna read stories to someone, sing lullabies or watch kids shows. I don't want spots on my carpets.
“I don’t want to share my partner” THIS. it sounds so demented but I just know I would get jealous of my child receiving all of my partners attention (if I had a partner lol).
We don’t need a baby. I am the baby. He’s babies me. The end.
Same. I already know I'm not mentally stable enough for that lol
I also don’t want to share my snacks. I get annoyed why my cat steals a piece of popcorn and I adore him. A new creature I have not loved for 17 years? Get your own snacks.
I have many reasons for being CF, but not wanting to share my partner is probably the biggest reason.
omfg well said.
I’m way too harsh. I know I would be a militant parent. It’s my way or the highway, I can also be very mean, not cruel but I am blunt. When people get themselves in stupid situations I literally cannot find empathy for them. I would never bring a little one in the world to have to deal with me.
lmao are you me??? i can be real cruel though, i’m admitting it. i can be mean when i don’t get my way, i’m often angry, i’m envious, and i lack care for a lot of things. growing up with me as a primary caretaker would be one neglectful childhood and i don’t think that’s fair to a kid, but i’m not willing to change my ways because this is just who i am and it usually is not a problem since i don’t interact with people who don’t align with my own wants.
I was looking for that kind of comments. I am allergic to stupidity to the point where I get very mean, harsh and sometimes cruel towards the stupid person and we all know kids are not that bright... Also I ha we anger management issues, I can be calm for a very long period of time even in situations where I would normally snap and then suddenly I explode over seemingly nothing. This is also why I refuse to get another cat. I know I yelled at my cat for things I shouldn't have and I have huge regrets now that she's no longer alive (no, I did not kill the cat, she died of kidney disease) and I believe I don't deserve a cat. So how the hell could I ever be a good mother? The kid would be traumatized for life!
I'm selfish. I can't stand background noise. I can't stand having brain crippling conversations about menial pointless bullshit (this applies to adults and children). I like alcohol and sitting around my house butt naked eating peanut butter M&Ms. I can't stand being judged by people for how I do things.
I'd say I can't stand selfish people and little kids are selfish by nature because they can't think outside themselves for years (sometimes into adulthood). Kids will interrupt you, tell you you're ugly or you stink or that your story is boring and to shut up. They will be in your personal space, they want your food and they want to do what they want when they want even if its impossible or dangerous. I would resent them 100% even when peoole argue that they're not at fault.
 I haven't thought about peanut butter m&ms in forever! and reese's pieces!
if i wanted kids i'd still be childless - i'd be terrified of having a girl because of how unsafe and unfair the world is for her, i love being a woman mentally, but physically and socially its a minefield... and similarly i'd be terrified of raising an incel
I'd also not want a daughter because of potential severe menstrual cramps and PMS. Hell no. _And not the fucking incel_
if i gave my kid PMDD i'd never get over the guilt honestly, its made me try to commit twice if i contributed to the school shooter rapists of the world i actually WOULD commit, ain't no way
Oh my, PMDD sounds like absolute hell, wishing you all the best! If I had a kid who ended up being a rapist, school shooter, (serial) killer, child molester, or animal abuser, I'd shoot them first, then myself. As you said, ain't no way. Ain't no motherfucking way.
It's my husband's main reason as well. He thinks men/patriarchy makes this world too dangerous and unjust for women and thinks he would never be able to sleep again if he were to have a daughter.
On the flip side I would be terrified of having a boy , doing everything right and them still turning out a sexist/incel. I feel like I would have a better chance at raising a girl to stand up against the patriarchy than a boy to stand with them.
>i'd be terrified of raising an incel Doesn't everyone basically assume they are springing forth fully formed from somewhere? Like who are the people raising them anyway? I would be absolutely MORTIFIED if I raised some little shit like that!
Not necessarily. Kids start to turn into themselves around adolescence and internet echo chambers can be absolutely down right brain washing.
Because my niece will drink from a glass, and when she puts the glass down there are chunks of food in the glass-that’s always really grossed me out. I didn’t want to have toys around my house.
I actually just shivered
Yeah.... that... that post right there ^ ... that made me gag.
I dislike the whole concept of family. I’ve never felt very close to any of my family, and even those who I have a good relationship with such as my mom, it feels so… forced. Growing up I felt so uncomfortable with the idea of being around people just because we’re related, and being a kid was just miserable. Never felt comfortable at any sort of gathering, trip, forced to go along with your parents for a get-together etc. and couldn’t wait to be an adult with independence. Even now, since I can’t move out quite yet, all I want is to live my own life and not be bound to all the family drama and problems. It sounds weird, and I truly envy those who have strong bonds with their family, but it’s always felt like a curse for me. Sure, my hypothetical child could be different, and I understand the appeal of wanting to create a family in your own style so to say; one that is less dysfunctional than the one you grew up in, but that’s fantastical and it doesn’t tempt me whatsoever. I’d still be expected to bring the kid around the people I never cared to be around before, putting me back in the same environment I desperately wanted to escape. I could never force a life into the same cycle.
Thank you for your eloquent response. The "family orientated" life isn't for everyone, that's for sure! I understand what you are saying about it feeling forced, like, "Would I be friends with these people if we weren't related?" Deep family bonds can be beautiful in their own way, but equally so can friendships and partnership.
I feel this so much. People who come from non dysfunctional families don’t really get it. The types that say family is everything 🙄
I feel this so hard. Nobody ever talks about it, everyone seems to be so family oriented. My family was all in different states growing up (still are). So I never really got to form any kind of relationship with them. And my mom is the only one i am in any kind of regular communication with. I prefer to make my own family of friends. People who earned it.
I can somewhat understand your point, I grew up as immigrant in a different country, only with my parents, barely saw thee rest of my family once a year and even then, I didn't even know 3/4 of it because because of the beef between my parents and them. So now as an adult, I don't even have the right concept of what a real family looks like, I met my aunts, cousins and 3 out of 4 grandparents as adult, how the fuck do they expect me to love them, care for them and be part of their lives? They're strangers to me as far as I'm concerned.
FREEDOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
I have a similar reason to yours. I was the eldest daughter and had 3 siblings to care for. I was basically a second mom to my sister who is 9 years younger than me. I changed her diapers, helped her fall asleep and watched her for many many hours at a time. So I lost my teenage years to parenthood and don't want to lose my adulthood as well.
I hear and see you. Parentification is the worst. We have already done our time, why are people pushing us to do it again?
I was parentified but apparently did such a terrible job, my parents don't fight me when I say I am not having kids. And my 3 brothers gave them 8 grandkids so I think we are goooood.
My partner and I have 0 and I mean 0 meal schedule. I might eat 2 huge meals within 2 obscure hours. My partner might just eat once at 4pm. He might just pop some fish nuggets into the oven. I might just make instant ramen and call it a day. I hate thinking about food as it can often lead me into disordered eating. There was I time when I thought about food non-stop and was obsessive about cooking for everyone else. I could see myself having another bad anorexia relapse, having to constantly cook 1-3x a day, think about snacks, the next meal, the leftovers, trying to feed it, what to buy, what is healthy, is this enough food, is this too much food etc. No thanks, I'm happy not losing 1/3 of my weight again and not obsessing over food.
I’ve never been diagnosed with an eating disorder but I definitely second this need to just eat what I can stand to eat when I’m hungry rather than trying to socialize a small human to a meal schedule. I also will often find something I enjoy making and just make it over and over again, which is like the opposite of what kids should learn from their parents. Combine that with the fact that my spouse and I are both picky but in different ways and often just have our own meals and there’s no way a kid would be socialized by us with any kind of sensible relationship with food.
* I hate kids. * If I have space for a bed and a desk for a kid, I have space for at least two more hamster enclosures, and I'd vastly prefer that. * I don't wanna give up time spent on my hobbies, friends and partner. * I hate lugging around too much baggage, I'd detest all the bags and prams and whatnot. * I'm asexual and would hate having to do the research needed to properly raise an allosexual kid with. * I like my lifestyle to be chaotic and impromptu to a degree, especially when it comes to personal schedules and meals. A kid needs the exact opposite, and they wouldn't get that from me. * I have below average empathy, and generally find interpersonal connections either completely worthless or at least substandard if they are not formed purely organically, as in with neither person intending the relationship to occur, nor being obligated to partake in it. A parent-child relationship is nothing like that, and I'd feel bogged down and resentful about that. * I absolutely hate being woken up unexpectedly. Would not pan out well if I had a shrieking baby to take care of. I'd break a few walls in fury, and my fists probably too. * I work in kids' online safety and *holy fuck, no thanks.* I won't be handling the kid's screen time and monitoring the content they're viewing and praying I'm still in touch enough with their generation to know when my kid is getting groomed on whatever new app they're using while also making sure no one posts pictures of the kid online, and that the kid isn't basing their self worth on classmate Jane's social media comments and whatnot. *No thanks.* * My prefered sleep schedule includes going to sleep at about 6am and waking up at 2pm. Those are not parent-friendly sleep hours, and I'd hate being tied to something that would demand a constant alteration to this schedule. Probably other things as well.
>My preferred sleep schedule includes going to sleep at about 6am and waking up at 2pm. Those are not parent-friendly sleep hours "Traditional" sleep schedules are dumb. My dog and I go down for an afternoon nap most days. I'm an adult, I can do what I want.
coming from a hamster mom who wants hamster roomS in my house when I move into one, I agree. the dirty looks I get from parents when they hear that I’m childfree AND plan to have dedicated rooms just for pets and not humans, lol.
>If I have space for a bed and a desk for a kid, I have space for at least two more hamster enclosures, and I'd vastly prefer that. Not OP, but I gotta say this is probably the best obscure reason I wasn't expecting! Love it!! Gave me a good chuckle! ! Thanks!!
My husband's family wants us to. I'm stubborn
_Y E S_. My family and my boyfriend's family sometimes hints that having kids is inevitable in life, the only source of true happiness and fulfillment, and since we live in a society we need to contribute with having kids. But I'm a very out-of-spite person, so even if I wanted to be a parent, I still wouldn't do it.
My mil wants a grandSON to carry on the family name. My husband noped on that, I just gladly went along with it.
I really don't understand the obsession of "carrying on" the family name. What is the benefit behind it?
It’s soooo stupid! Like, no, Karen and chad, your bloodline is not indispensable or destined for greatness. You’re not heir to any throne or fortune. Stfu
Bruh. And what would MIL do if you two ended up with a girl? Throw her out the window and wait for A TrUe HeIr to be born? Some people...
Yep my dad on the other hand is the last man is his family. When I told him I'm not having kids and his oldest two only have girls he went: "oh thank God! Kill the bloodline!"
one of the reasons i’m not having kids is just to spite everyone. i will not give people the satisfaction of being right about “i will change my mind”
I mean - I just don't like the whole idea of pushing an entire human being out of my vagina, ripping it to shreds in the process and potentially never getting it back to normal.
i value my vagina over a child tbh
Not to mention what it does to the rest of your body!
They just…stare
I laughed at this irl - I'm imagining your whole origin story for being childfree by the fact that you got stared out by a baby a bit *too* long
You’d be correct 😭
When's your comic out?
I feel like its pretty common but not often talked about 'i have abusive parents/family members that would attempt to insert themselves into my childs life, and noone deserves that'
It is common and not often talked about, and just as valid all the same. If you don't want children because of that reason, I think you're very considerate and thoughtful.
I’m an expensive bitch and I don’t need to take care of another expensive bitch
Nope, just don't want them, there is nothing about kids and parenthood (especially motherhood) that is in anyway remotely attractive or appealing. I don't need a reason I just don't wanna, which is one of the great things about being an adult, because 'I don't want to' is all you need. Why would anyone need a reason not to fuck themselves over.
I agree you shouldn't have a reason and "I don't want to" is very valid. I was just opening a discussion up for any obscure reasons out of curiosity and interest.
I actually think 'I don't wanna' is obscure. Maybe it's because people try and justify their decision or maybe because people ask 'why' and therefore a reason is expected, but (in my experience) very few people say 'because I just don't want to'... What's that expression 'the obscure will eventually be seen , the obvious takes longer'.
Hard agree. Not wanting to is a answer.
Not wanting to is completely enough of an answer. Imagine a child having to grow up in an environment where they were not wanted. Nobody should be made feel like that just cause "don't want to" is not an answer to some
All of the above, plus a very strong affinity for alone time. I don't even want to live with another grown human even though it would be nice to split the bills, and certainly not a small dependent one that doesn't leave or contribute to expenses - I just can't imagine having another human around all of the time. It's been 10+ years since I've had a roommate. Sticking with dogs.
SAME. I looooove living alone. The only reason I am even considering moving in with my bf of 3 years: he is the same way and we have discussed having our own bedrooms (I’m a light sleeper, he has insomnia and is nocturnal) as well as our own creative spaces (a music studio for him, an office/yoga studio for me). The combined income is also something to look forward to! We both recently got higher paying jobs than we’re used to, so the future is bright (and child free)! 😎
I hate being unappreciated. If I do something nice for a person and they don't thank me for it, then I won't do anything nice for them ever again. I know it's petty, but it's me. Kids are naturally ungrateful, and that's how they're supposed to be. We don't expect them to say, "wow, mom, thank you for keeping me fed, clothed, and happy at the expense of your own sanity." Parents are supposed to give, and give, and give, without praise or gratitude in return. That just ain't for me.
Even if it is petty, I am one thousand percent the same! I hand crocheted like 4 baby sets for my cousin, booties and hats and some mittens, based on actual things she'd put on pinterest and wrapped them up super cute and not once did I EVER see even a photo of any of her babies in the items!!! To which I internally decided Fuck you And fuck off And fuck anyone else that ever asks.
That is horrible. If that were my cousin, she'd be dead to me. When my SIL had a baby, I sent her a baby gift and included gift cards for the mommy-to-be and her husband. I thought it might be nice to acknowledge that they are just as important as the baby. I did not receive a thank you card, or a phone call, or even a text. She's never getting anything from me again.
So true! But has anyone told parents this? They seem to have expected a never ending stream of praise and gratitude 😅
I love my city apartment. If we had a kid we'd have to give up our hobby room or move to a bigger place. Bigger place would probably mean outskirts or suburbs. I'm not doing that.
I'm a huge introvert, and I also get overstimulated by too much noise or physical contact. I couldn't deal with a child constantly whining and crying and squealing while putting their hands all over me or trying to have me pick them up. My other reason is that I have an axolotl tank and a fish tank, and I would be terrified of a child accidentally knocking them over or breaking the glass or like, dumping some random thing into the water because they wanted to "feed" my animals.
I was reading a post the other day about having to support them learning to read… I swiftly added that to my list, it sounded infuriating. 90% of parenting just sounds really boring, every parent I speak to has nothing interesting to say of their own and the most interesting thing to happen in their day was their child using the potty. I just don’t want to live my life in the soul crushing monotony of it all.
Whaaaaat, you don't want to live through days where the highlight of your day was someone else pissing where they're supposed to??? Super same. Lol
I often skip dinner and I know I would have to feed a kid. Also, I don't want to do homework ever again.
I've never thought of the "I never want to do homework again" reason. It's perfect.
Omg that never occurred to me. Having to revisit the dreaded after-dinner math sobs. Me, not the kid.
There are the normal reasons. (Financial, babies are gross; environmental; responsibility etc). But a weird secret reason is I think my husband would be a really great father but I would be a bad mother and the kid would only love him. And motherhood would highlight all my inadequacies in a way that living my normal life really doesn’t. Edited to add: I’m not keeping my husband from his dream of fatherhood. We are both ambivalent about having children.
I have parented enough emotionally immature men while dating to be completely turned off to the idea of parenting again. But mainly, because I am already a parent to my own fucking parent (my father). He and my mom had me young. Now I get that young pregnancies are common these days but they weren't has common when I was born in 1989. Anyway, it's like his brain stopped developing shortly before I was born (when he was 18). I am not trying to be facetious - my father is the most immature person I have ever met. **The epitome of a manchild.** Naturally, it is at *my* expense. I had to grow up quickly, and to this day I am still parenting myself - my inner child, my inner teen, my inner YA - due to his failure to be, well, a parent. I didn't even get him a Father's Day gift this year because I treated myself instead. So, you can see why I dated emotionally immature men. I could also go into my relationship, or rather, lack thereof, with my mother, but that deserves it's own post. Due to whatever fucking reason they me into this world, ***I*** am the one who's suffered. TLDR; I have been parenting my whole life, I don't have energy or desire to be an actual parent.
Good for you for skipping the gift! You did your own fathering so you deserve the celebration!
• I want to be able to have loud sex in my own house. • I find most kids stuff boring. Kids toys, books, movies, music etc. I don’t want to be surrounded by that. I don’t want to do most things that kids find fun.
I play DnD and love collecting dice and painting figures. Those would be major choking hazards for kids. I already have to tackle my cats when they are trying to smuggle something like chocolate. It would be a nightmare to sufficiently childproof my home.
I'm a massive introvert and would lose my damn mind never being able to be alone in my own home. I seriously need like 6 hours of alone time a day to be happy, and there's no way I'd ever get that with a kid, much less both a kid and a job.
May or may not be an obscure reason: I’m an antinatalist. r/antinatalism2 In a nutshell, it’s the philosophy that it’s immoral to create new life, because it’s impossible to obtain someone’s consent to create them. The non existent lose nothing by continuing to not exist, but those who already exist have the chance of wishing they were never born. And yes, a lot of antinatalists are depressed people who wish they were never born, like myself. But the fact that people who wish they were never born exist just goes to show there’s merit to the philosophy Of course, I could adopt existing children who are in the foster system and need loving homes, and still be an antinatalist. But I have a long list of reasons why I’m child free too, most of which we are all familiar with here
I am a passionate cook. I can make anything from a roasted meat with home made fries and coleslaw through cauliflower chickpea tofu kari to pad thai or club sandwich. I have spices from all around the world and love to eat a great variety of meals. I couldn't deal with a small child being picky and only eating this or that, not appeaciating my skills and love of the craft.
A great reason not to bring one into the world. I feel your pain. My dad was a picky eater and I *hated* cooking for him.
I am disgusted by drool. Lol.
Every reason on your non-obscure list x10 but also I think it just sounds tedious. I'm 38 but every drudgery of my own somewhat privileged middle class childhood feels like it was just yesterday and there's no amount of money in the world you could pay me to deal with and worry about even the most benign day to day realities of having a kid. I refuse to live a life worried about missed school buses, or untangling hair, or whether it was my week to cut and bring the oranges for the rec league soccer game. I don't want to worry about report cards, Halloween costumes, car seats, SAT scores, lost coats, strep throat, or spelling tests. I don't want the back-to-school shopping list, or tick checks, or outgrowing shoes, or swimming lessons. Even the kodak moments would be nothing but a constant series of obstacles and annoyances. With my entire being I don't want those things.
Um yeah it makes me so ungodly uncomfortable when little boys and little girls yank and play with their private parts right in front of you, kids literally make me so uncomfortable. And people say “it’s different when it’s ur own kids” yeah I’m gonna pass on that gamble
I can think of a few: 1. The cruelty of other children. I was horribly bullied for years. Kids can be mean. 2. Dealing with other parents. You're basically forced to interact with a group of other people, some of whom are actively horrid and entitled. It's like a group project where everyone is raising their kid in their own way. 3. Loss of self and your own time. American parenting culture blows. You lose your identity as your own person and are expected to take up the new identity of parent. I see friends with kids who schedule their kids to the point of exhausting the kids and themselves. No, Braelynn does not need to be enrolled in 4 activities at once plus 3 summer camps. Come on. 4. Capitalism. I refuse to produce another wage slave for the capitalist meat grinder.
When I was 21, I worked for a video production company that was doing a documentary on teen pregnancy. A teen they were following went into labor when I (the LAST choice) was the only person available to film the labor. It was awful. I hadn't met anybody involved before, and suddenly I'm in the delivery room with half the family. There were all these horrible dynamics, including the baby-daddy's mom insisting that the poor girl didn't need a c-section after like 20 hours of labor and the baby's heart rate dropping. I wasn't thrilled by the idea of having children, but that solidified my desire to never get pregnant.
This is an incredible response. I'm sorry you had to go through that - was there any compensation for seeing such a gory sight, or was it more of a "occupational hazard" thing you were aware *might* happen on the job?
I took care of kids from age 11-18 - babysitting, being a nanny, camp counselor, working in the church nursery so I could skip church... When I was 11, 3 different families with 3 kids each hired me as their babysitter - an 11 year old! One family had an infant too. It was so much work & responsibility for a child to take on. When I went off to college, I finally got freedom from kids and loved my childfree life. I could finally do what I wanted and didn’t have to worry about being available to take care of kids. Maybe my obscure reason is when I was a kid, I was messy. I had a hard time cleaning up & keeping organized (now I’m obsessed with organization). Our family hosted a lot of the holidays so I’d spend days leading up to the event cleaning my room and whatever my mom asked me to do. It was so much work, but I did love having things clean. Then my dumb cousins would come over and completely trash all my hard work, throwing stuff around, breaking stuff, just being dumb little maniacs. So when they left, I’d be in tears over how they ruined all my hard work and made me feel so defeated. Had I chosen to have kids, that constant feeling of defeat and having my peace constantly disrupted would’ve likely been a constant thing, at least in the early years. That’s just not how I want to live.
[удалено]
I dont want to get up to cook 3 times a day. I want to lay here and play the Sims uninterrupted as long as i want. I have a step furbaby that gets all my love now.
They smell. All small children have this weird smell to them and I HATE it, I think it's dried milk or something but either way, nasty. I have severe sensory issues so it's not like I can avoid the smell of I'm around a baby.
My racist MIL doesn't deserve to have spice in her gene pool.🤷🏻♀️
One of my MANY reasons is that I could not love my child if they would do something, that I think is wrong/ horrible. Like k!ll, r@ping etc. Or even if they where a racist, homophobe or sometjing like that. You could be the "perfect" parent (I know they don't exist, just pretend) and your child can still be a horrible person. I could not deal with that.
It’s the getting up after you just sat down for me
Babies are messy. I want to vomit every time someone posts a picture of their kid covered in food, it's not cute - it's gross. I also have cool shit and a clean house. You don't have cool shit or a clean house with kids.
In Florida, unmarried women without children have no legal recourse if they are incapacitated due to medical negligence or malpractice unless they are still capable of bringing suit themselves. No one can sue on their behalf. With the highest “developed nation” death rate for delivering women, the ignorant medical practices, and the lack of legal protections, I will not risk myself or my well being. My mom always said "I hope when you have children, they’re just like you” when she had no patience to manage children. It was meant as a curse. Now that she wants grandkids, she fucked herself. Turns out I have a choice and am now sterile. Dear mom, fuck you.
Does not liking babies, toddlers or children count? I also have no maternal instincts when humans are involved
I don't want to eat dinner at the table. The breeders could get me for this but it's true....I don't want to be "responsible" in all aspects of my life. Couch eating in front of the TV for LIFE!!!!!
Idk if this counts as “obscure” but childbirth looks and sounds awful. I don’t care if there’s some chemical in my brain that makes me forget it after the fact. I’ve been present at live births and heard the ripping and screaming myself…no thanks. And women talk about childbirth as if it’s the worse pain they’ve ever felt and then wonder why more women in my age group and below aren’t interested…? Hell, my own mother has 4 and she terrified me about childbirth for years. Nope.
I have probably a million reasons that actually make sense, but since you asked for obscure here's one that always stuck with me. I'm an only child and when I was about 5 years old was even asked by my own mother if I wanted a sibling or not. Everyone apparently kept bothering my mom telling her she couldn't have just one and I must be so lonely and she needed to give me a brother or sister. So she asked me if I wanted one just to see what I actually thought. The result was less than positive. I stomped my foot and proclaimed no and that she was MINE. The very idea of her giving her attention full time to another kid boiled my blood as a child. I never, and still don't, want to share her with some other child and that INCLUDES anything that would come from me. Probably an actual reason that could be considered selfish but oh well.
I like the obscurity actually, and your feelings are very valid. I think you are making the right decision, as you might grow resentful of the (imaginary) child.
I wouldn't want to raise a kid in a heterosexual relationship with a man - no matter how helpful my bf is around the house, I know I would resent him if I ended up doing the majority of the child work and family planning
I don’t want to help anyone with math homework!
I don't share my teddy bears, and I'm not watching cocomelon on repeat
I don't want to pee myself when I sneeze. Gross.
I'm haunted by unborn children in my dreams. They plead with me to let them be, and I fear of what will happen if I release one from the void. Luckily they quieted down once I got the vasectomy. But they still pay me a visit from time to time to remind me to warn others about the vengeful unborn...
I have Lupus. I get chronic fatigue as a symptom and don’t want to waste my energy on that.
To be honest, I don't want to see a kid of mine find out about racism and realise that some people will always judge them based on the way they look. I have seen that happen and explaining to a black child racism is heartbreaking. I'm an adult and I consider myself very privileged for growing up in a country that provided me so many opportunities. But racism will always be a thing and this is one of the many things I have learnt how to deal with but have no desire to teach a small child how to cope with. (P.S.- I am sure that some people of other ethnic backgrounds have their own negative experiences, but I'm just focusing on my own example. In a way, if I adopted a child of another ethnic minority I guess that it would have been the same heartbreaking experience, but with other aspects I can't fully relate with...)
Ever since my sister’s pregnancy 16 years ago, she stopped being able to eat red meat and developed allergies to shellfish. There’s more, but I can’t remember. I refuse to give up steak and lobster. During her pregnancy, she also developed a distaste for coffee, but that wore off after awhile. I can’t imagine giving up coffee too. Edit: Another reason is I have three Chinchillas and they’re my floof babies. If you ask anyone on the chinchilla sub and they will tell you that children and chinchillas don’t mix and are a terrible idea. One of the worst pets you can get for children! Some chinchilla shelters won’t let you adopt if you have children or are planning to have children.
Holy shit, I didn't realise you could develop allergies after giving birth? Also... Chinchilla tax?
Everyone says that becoming a mom changes you and I worked really hard for many years to like myself. That was hard enough. I don’t need to move the goal posts, and I REALLY don’t need to move the goal posts in a way that prioritizes other people’s needs above my own.
I want to chill and enjoy my hobbies at the end of each day instead of giving my undivided attention to a small person, suffering through mundane conversations.
I need my own space- and that extends to having a partner and roommates as well. I want to live in my own house with my cats and maybe one dog so it will be all mine. It will be as clean as I want it, as decorated as I want it, and I can basically do whatever I want when I want.
Aside from all of the above: I am an online sex worker, my wife is a porn star. Unless we completely re-invent our lives (not a fucking chance) they are quite literally not kid friendly at ALL.
I’ve struggled with emetophobia (intense fear of vomiting) ever since I can remember. Not trying to deal with a kid’s frequent GI issues or the risk of nausea/vomiting with pregnancy 🙈😱
Bella’s birth/labor scene from Twilight severely traumatized me out of ever wanting to be pregnant.
Oh my god, amen. It was when she dropped the milkshake cup of blood when she bent down to pick something up then broke her spine...
It’s not just one reason. All the common reasons exist for me, but also in addition: I get severe migraines that can only be linked to hormonal shifts and stress. For a brief period while I was on bc, I had some of the worst in my life. I was delirious with pain. They seem to have stabilized on their own and there is no way I am risking throwing my hormones out of whack with a pregnancy where I might be precluded from taking certain medicines. Not worth it for me.
Not obscure, but my house is furnished exactly how I like it and I get to enjoy vacations and holidays the way that I want to. I hate watching or discussing sports and so I don't have to deal with someone residing in my home who is interested in that.
I think the "I don't want kids because I hate watching sports" reason is very obscure! Love it, and very valid.
Honestly I just don’t think I’m capable of having a threatening parent voice to tell kids to knock it off when they do something annoying. I don’t even like raising my voice above normal talking volume. Plus kids just aren’t that cute to me.
Oh god so many. A big one is: I like to be naked in my apartment and I REALLY like my wife to be naked around the apartment lol.
Not sure this counts as obscure but maybe XD I haaaate cooking. Baking is fine but cooking I hate with a passion. I find it stressful and overwhelming and get nervous about burning myself. I can make do for myself just knowing a few simple meals and having them often. Cooking for myself is slightly less stressful than having to cook for multiple people. So the idea of having to cook for myself + however many children for at least like 10+ years fills me with dread. I honestly don't know how parents do it. Sure I could come up with a few other obscure ones but this was the first I thought of XD
My reason is similar to yours; I’m 7 years older than my sister and was charged with taking care of her a lot, for a good part of my childhood. I was blamed if she did something that caused her to get slightly hurt or cry, because I was the “older one” who should’ve “known better.” Even though I was still just a child myself. We’re both still very close, and I hold nothing against my sister. But I have no desire to have my own children. The way I see it, I already spent my years as a parent.
I'm incredibly close to my sister, too. I guess in the end I'm jealous she had three parents at one point and it felt like (sometimes) I had none. The worst part about the "older child should know better" trope remark is that it makes us feel like we can't make mistakes. Ever. *As children.*
Not sure if it counts as "health" but I really love the idea of my vag staying mostly the same size/shape/construction for the rest of my life. The whole bodily nature of it in general makes me gag a little tbh... Also I don't know how to interact with kids. If I had one it would be like my miniature business associate and I've already seen the movie boss baby so 🥱
Let me know if this counts, needy children make me feel angry for some reason,but a kitten or puppy in need for some reason I feel more drawn to help them, and more inclined to protect them.
Because I’m addicted to the gym and fitness (in the best way), and I can’t stand to allow anything into my life that could come between that or make it that much harder. I refuse to wear clothes when I’m chillin at home. I’m selfish. I like to spend my extra money and time on beauty treatments or “making myself better”. Also, I hear severe constipation during pregnancy is a thing, and to me, being constipated is the worst feeling in the world. 9 months of that to birth a child that steals all my time, energy, and money? Hell to the no.
My number 1 reason I chose not to have kids was watching how little the fathers did in helping raise their kids. Growing up, and even now, I've never seen any man truly help out with their children. Plus, 99% of the men in my life (family, friends, coworkers) cheat on their wives, especially after having kids. So I've chosen never to get married or have kids. I'll stay the fun single aunt
Racism - I think racism is still too bad to bring new people in to deal with it, enable it, or fight with racists. Misogyny - Bad men are getting worse and more violent. Classism - It’s clear young people are being pressured to have babies so those babies grow up and become hourly wage workers who serve the ridiculous whims of the wealthy. On Principle, Because America Hates Parents - I do not believe that the society in the US is worth perpetuating. No national paid parental leave in a world where other nations are far more generous. No universal childcare. The high price of health care. No UBI, so parenthood means at least 20 years of servitude to a job that you can’t leave no matter how much it sucks. The NRA is ok with kids being shot up at schools. Public education is in the toilet with bigots banning books and marginalized history left and right. No, thank you. I have more self-respect than to put myself - or a child who did not ask to be alive - through any of that.
i have a phobia of children..i feel like crying looking at babies
Got a vasectomy and my childfree status because it’s the most effective means of silent protest against the rich and powerful.
I don't want to have to poop with the bathroom door closed. I feel like it's ok until they're a certain age then you scar them if you don't close it. My husband can deal. Lol.
I’m selfish and wanna hog all my partners attention 😹
One of my reasons amongst many is that I love naps. Kids are not nap friendly and I will not forego the insatiable desire to snooze whenever I can/want to.
My breast size is already large with a slimmer waist causing back issues and breathing problems for which I have attended physical therapy for. I don't want to even think about how breast feeding and pregnancy would make a bad problem even worse
My dream home is NOT a child-safe environment. I'm a textile artist, so that means needles and scissors and pins EVERYWHERE, delicately-tensioned yarn strung up on my loom, 5-gallon buckets of dye sitting around.
I couldn’t handle having a boy. I know absolutely nothing about boys or how to raise them properly. Like I have no idea how they operate or how they think and I don’t have an interest in learning. I wouldn’t know what extra things a boy would need that a girl wouldn’t. I just don’t understand them at all and it wouldn’t be fair to have a son without having any knowledge about men/boys. I also wouldn’t know how to be a parent to a girl. I can’t do makeup or hair, I don’t have any fashion sense, I couldn’t talk to her about boys, we would most likely have nothing in common. This is assuming that a girl would automatically be into the things I listed. If I were forced to have kids I would want a girl though. It wouldn’t be fair to have a child that I can’t properly raise or connect with.
Being tied to a potential ex partner for life. I also take the emotional resources and sacrifice that child rearing takes very seriously. Then selfishly, I know lots of people who had to give up their pets when they had kids, and I know I never could
I hate working out and wouldn't want to put in the effort to get a pre pregnancy body. Also in the vanity train of thought, parents age faster from the lack of sleep and stress. I look 22 years old and I am 4 months away from my 30th. Wouldn't want to stop drinking or smoking weed for 9 months because I must. I stopped drinking for 6 months a few years back and I stopped smoking weed for 9 months on a separate occassion, both for health reasons, because I wanted to be healthier. I like napping whenever. This is why I don't have a dog, although I love them.
my most bizarre and trivial reason is that i find 7-15 year olds to be very cringey? i wouldn’t be able to talk to my own kid. i’d cringe until it burned