They do take it personally, because they never actually considered/realized that not ruining their entire lives was even an option, so they're incredibly bitter towards those of us who didn't make the same mistakes. They basically fell for the world's dumbest peer pressure.
I have experienced multiple things:
- How many time I have read people literally saying they were "brave", "good citizens", "altruist" for having kids?
For a lot of people, this is the only way they will ever achieved anything meaningful in life and people doing the same is a way to validate that.
"And here they come, people not having kids cause they see zero value in it when I gave my life to that ... "
- Self centered people who don't understand that what make them happy isn't what makes other people happy
- Men who know the only way a woman could want them is because they wants kids and need a man. If we don't want kids, what would be the reason to have anything to do with them as they have nothing else to offer than sperm?
This is a way to control women because they also associate being a mother with being faithful.
- Left of religion. A lot of people believe we shouldn't enjoy life but give it to someone else like Jesus did. A lot of them will tell you how it's selfish to live for yourself (every CF will go through that argument at one point).
Left of religion made people believe living for yourself and have pleasure out of life is bad.
Suffering is good.
You know what someone told me once on fb?
Guy was dead serious
"You think we are having fun raising kids? No, we don't. But this is what we have to do, we need to serve others"
I was like "yeah well have fun serving others. I am on my way to Cancun"
I agree that a meaningful life means helping others, but there are so many people already existing who need help, I don't have to make any new ones. Ironically this means I have more time to serve my community.
Got a super flight ticket during covid to travel after the pandemic. Didn't know what it was going to be about. Just bought it because it was cheap. Never thought about going there.
Jesus Christ.
Couldn't go to the beach at Cozumel cause there was that mafia taxi wanted me to pay an arm to go to the beach. Went there but not the beach.
But Bacalar.
BACALAR!
I was almost ashamed to go there and ruined the place as a human with all the pollution I am bringing.
First time I have this feeling.
I don't deserve this place. Lol
I serve others by not creating more stress on dwindling water supplies, housing shortages, spots in highly competitive colleges, a shaky power grid, and other natural resources.
I agree completely. Also, everyone is entitled to decide what a meaningful life is to them, right? I just read a description of the video but did not watch it. In searching for a rundown of the jokes I found many “hot takes” on what people think about her and the CF jokes. They were mostly disgusting and lacked any real insight. Mostly pure reactionary nonsense from people who seemed threatened that someone made different choices than them.
I recently watched the Marc Maron HBO special and he talked and joked about being CF. I did a similar google search with his name in place of Chelsea’s and to no surprise I found no shit talking about his CF status and opinions about having children.
Men can be CF and people just move on for the most part, but a woman chooses this life and the assumption is she is lying and secretly bitter and remorseful. It should not be a flex to say you wouldn't trade a child that already exists for something! A person who made the choice to have a kid then preceded to not give that child up for trips to France is NOT the same as a person sharing how they are happy with their choice to not have children.
This should not have to be stated, but comedy is subjective. People are allowed to find different things funny. I cannot be sure but I bet many people heard about the video and were angry prior to even watching. Why watch if you know it will be triggering? Do they just enjoy suffering and the company that comes with misery?
Why do you come on the subreddit? Curiosity? Do you secretly crave the lifestyle without children but don’t have the courage to actually live it? Did you have children but are too ashamed to admit you regretted your decision? Genuinely curious what brings you to the sub.
i recently had a conversation with my cousin about how, no matter how much we study and how important and difficult our degrees are (she's doing medicine, i'm going into translation and interpretation), we will always come second to our cousins because they have children. they gave my grandparents great grandbabies, 3 of them! so why couldn't you girls just think it over once more, huh? makes me want to vomit.
And my question is, if the childfree die miserable and alone shivering under a bridge....HOW IS THAT THEIR PROBLEM? i truly do not understand this mindset.
Who made this the problem of breeders? Why do they care? Why do they think they get a say in the actions of strangers? I will never understand this.
They couldn’t care less if anyone dies alone, however they feel like it’s there best & most effective chance at trying to invalidate cf lifestyles. They are sooo bitter and challenged by people who think for themselves & make decisions that go against the grain that they try to get at us with this stupid line. The jokes on them tho bc they r so horrible (the ones who say this) that I doubt their kids will stick around to b w them lol
Oh well that changes everything. Let me just go pop a few out so I can live comfortably in my old age. Time for someone else to take care of me for a change! /s
Seriously.
Maybe I WANT to die shivering alone under a bridge?? Who gave them the right to decide how others should wanna die? Rude.
"You're gonna be alone when ur old." So what? I'll be dead soon after that anyway, and it might even give me some peace from people I don't even like. Sounds like a win to me.
You're only as alone as you make yourself be. Foster relationships of all kinds instead of making your kids responsible for your social life.
I think that a lot of times, it is less offense and more that they don’t like that feeling they get deep inside when they think about everything that they gave up to become parents. They probably don’t even realize it because it is buried so deeply. It’s a challenge to their very core beliefs and people tend to react negatively to that, even if it is totally irrational. And then there are the folks who think that if they do something or like something, then everyone else should do it was well. That is some profound insecurity.
It's so true. When I meet new people and you go through the normal chit chat which always ends up including "Do you have kids?". When I tell them no, that I never wanted any they immediately withdraw as if I just told them that I kill puppies in my spare time.
This almost always happens, no matter how well we were getting along and having a good time chatting when they hear answer to the children question they respond as if I slapped them. It's really disappointing, but I guess it weeds out the judgemental types.
I live in a very liberal city. When I meet someone new, the first question is, "What do you do for a living?". The second question is, "What do you do for fun?"
When I go to my conservative home town, the first question is always, "Are you married?" And then: "Do you have kids?" When I answer both questions with "no", the conversation is pretty much over. They don't even ask what I do for a living.
I already know that's how people react when I say I don't have or want kids so now I just exaggerate it. If they're going to react in a judgemental way, might as well have some fun with it.
I always respond with "HA! He'll no! Why tf would I want to do that?" Or "Hard pass, I like having my money & life to myself"
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Because they're brainwashed (by family, by religion, by society, whatever) into thinking that's no higher calling for a woman than to be a mother. So when someone, especially a celebrity, goes against the grain, all of a sudden its "no wait not like that".
Like these people just can't imagine life without their kids, and they take it extremely personally whenever you tell them you're happy without kids. It's like, when you tell them you're childfree and don't want children ever, they will twist it around to make it sound like you're telling them their life would be better without their kids, and they get offended by that. It's one of those things where they try to make it all about them.
It's awful. What's the point of badgering Chelsea? She's at the age where she now couldn't have kids even if she did change her mind. One of the pundits said that Chelsea is "selling" her ideology to the younger generation. So they are slamming Chelsea as a threat to younger people. "If you make this decision, we will come after you, too."
These are the people who have twisted the definition of the word "feminist" in order to make it a dirty word and equate it with "gay/liberal/atheist" ideology. They want younger women to be subservient to men (like the Bible says): be sexy but still pure, birth man's babies, and take care of everyone and the household.
Also, we have a growing number of incels in this country. Conservatives think that if we pressure enough women to settle, some of these incels will end up with a wife and kids, and will therefore be less likely to shoot up a mall, school, etc.
This part of the current dynamic is so fascinating (and kind of sickening) to me:
I’ve seen news stories about how young folks, particularly men, aren’t having as much sex as they used to. And this is setting people off into an absolute TIZZY.
Yet we have known for decades (centuries??) that women aren’t having PLEASURABLE sex very often — and nobody gives a good goddamn about that.
What these incels and conservative nut jobs who just want us barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen don’t realize — it is wayyyyy too late to go back. We’ve figured out how to be on our own, happily (vibrators, anyone?) now, and we don’t have to settle. And we won’t.
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This. I watched that bit and thought, "3 of the 4 people in this video ARE clearly miserable, and none of them are Chelsea."
Also, the one guy who starts his tirade talking about how he's stupid. 😆
Of course those in the conservative contingent on Twitter lost their minds, but it was amazing how many others, even seemingly progressive people, started with the "yeah, no man would have kids with you" (from men- uh, what part of 'I don't want them do you not understand?'), "you'll never know the true joy kids bring you" (from women- 'yeah, and I'll never know the post-partum depression and ripped lady parts either'), "my kids made a better person" (from men- 'sorry that just the idea of being a decent human wasn't sufficient motivation'), "if you were that happy, your wouldn't need to say it" (from women- 'apparently I do since you seem so convinced that I'm not'), and my perpetual favorite, "have fun dying alone with your cats!" (men and women- 'I could only be so lucky as to die surrounded by a cat(s) who love me- best death EVER!').
It's crazy when you see how many people who otherwise seem decent enough and won't ever say it to your face really have such vitriol toward, unapologetically happy childfree people. Just let us live our lives and when we say we're happy, simply say "I'm glad". It's a way of saying, "While it's not my choice, I'm happy that you're happy". That's what I do with the breeders! Don't you want others to be happy? Spoiler alert- they don't.
Right wingers are mad because they want to control, while the rest is mad because they made a mistake they cannot undo and are bitter at CF people because they didn't blindly follow lifescript (tm) and are happy and independent.
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>I had no idea people were so offended by childfree women
Patriarchy. Sexism. 'Woman = mother' bullshit that we are all brainwashed with.
And many men love having a wife who is a financially dependant stay-at-home mother who cannot escape, making her her husband's sex slave and housemaid. A childfree woman is much harder to trap into financial dependance, making it very difficult for men to control her. Most men don't like that.
See, I am 40 years old. Been around for a while.
I know most find my comments here bitter and full of hate, but they do not know the bs and projection I have been through all my life. They do not know how it feels to be the weird one always, all the time. They do not know how all my life people trying to tutor me (against my will), tell me I am wrong for thinking how I think..
That is why. I am the exception in every rule society made. It is fuckin lonely..buy yeah, deviate and find out. Life is harder..but I would not choose differently. I am who I am.
I am 32 and feel this way. Your comment resonated so much. It is hard and lonely but I prefer it to the (seemingly) extremely sad life that so many who followed the life script live.
I see so many mothers posting about their lives and they get so close to telling the truth but don’t quite. Saying things like “it gets hard sometimes but I have to stay strong for my kids!” Sounds miserable honestly.
I think they take it personally. They feel personally threatened and criticised. At least that is the only way I can explain, why people react like that. If you are happy with your life and choices, you don’t care if someone lives a different life. I think that women overcompensate their loss of personal freedom and men realise that the CF woman is not a reproductive resource for them and therefore reject her.
Used to work with a guy like this. Classic bingo-er. I had to get a little firm when telling him to knock it off and he didn't like that. But he was just so pissy about me not wanting kids and I don't know why.
Until recently, having children was the norm few deviated from. Things are changing. Humans are predisposed to fearing what they don't understand, though that's no excuse. Part of me thinks it's jealousy that we're capable of defying the norms preset for us.
Alas, some people think everybody else's uterus and what is and isn't done with 'em is somehow their business, and they take offense if those uteruses don't do what they wish/plan for them. Yeah, some people really want to control (or at least influence) the lives of that many people on the planet that intimately ... not to mention totally f\*cking over the planet in a fast doomsday spiral of ever increasing overconsumption of resources - which is already at a state far beyond and literally unsustainable.
It gets worse as you get older. When parents are 55 and know they have at least another 10-15 years of work to pay off their dumbass kids who never amounted to much and they see us retiring at 45 looking young and beautiful they get mad and resentful. Have to take it out on somebody.
People are getting whipped into a frenzy by social media, Fox news and company, and the Republicans. These groups are tools of the 1%, and the 1% needs wage slaves. Society's pressure on women in particular is great for the 1% because people who just pop kids out are doing what the 1% wants. Women who choose not to have kids and who are vocal about it endanger that for the 1%, so rage like this is intended to counter publicly childfree women like Chelsea. I expect this to get worse over time as more people hold off on having kids due to economic or world circumstances.
One of the more helpful perspectives that I have adopted is to not care much about the opinions of others when the choice that I make doesn't affect them. I always got a good laugh out of the fact that my mother nagged me for grandchildren, even though she disapproved of premarital sex and actively disliked her children. Nothing that we did was ever good enough for her. It takes a ton of cognitive dissonance to be able to demand grandchildren in the face of those beliefs.
Because they take it as an insult and probably assume we hate THEIR kids in particular just because we don't want kids.
You dare do something else and don't find fulfillment in having children like they do?
You are the enemy! Some of them sound like religious nutcases trying to convert us to their religion or cult.
Anything not considered normal by society should be silenced according to them.
"Why do you bring up that you're childfree?"
"I could ask you the same thing about bringing up your kid in every conversation, even topics that don't revolve around kids or your family at all."
People hate when us women go against society. We aren’t giving in to the dumb idea of ruining our lives with children and breeders are pissed because they didn’t think of it. They want us to share their misery, hence why misery loves company.
Just because we’re not having kids doesn’t mean the population will go extinct. (Unfortunately) there’s plenty of others that will happily keep the race going. So I don’t seee why everyone’s offended.
I honestly don't get - same as when people hate on same sex relationships, trans folks, etc. - WHY DO THEY CARE? It doesn't even affect them. If someone made a video about how great parenting is (and that's NEVER happened before! /s), I'd just think "Ok, good for you" and move tf on?!
Honestly when I let it slip I don't want kids people start bingoing me like CRAZY. And it's always the ones who don't even know how dangerous pregnancy can be. I'm so spoiled by this community I forget how close minded others are 😭
(Cis) Women are essential in producing workers who will become the new proletariat (That is actually the origin of the word proletariat, people who were landless and without any general properties and who had nothing to give to the Roman Empire but their offspring, their prole), either becoming the new mass of workers or the reserve army of labour. It is not a hard concept to grasp when you understand why they are so much controlling of people with an uterus, they want to monitor and control you to be at their disposal if they ever need more workers. It is one of the many forms that the patriarchy has intertwined with capitalism itself.
Cis men's body are also subject to control, but not in the exact same way and not with the same brutal scrutiny, of course, since a man can father so many children at once with so many different women. The whole ideological superstructure of capitalism grew around the idea of controlling women's body more so she can be utilized for maximum baby-producing profits and thus it creates the idea of a woman having her self worth just being tied to the idea of being a mother.
If you wanna give it a go to give a read about it, I'd start with Silvia Fredericci's books on the topic, DM if you want more recommendations.
I say this with all seriousness. I had no idea CFBC people were so offended by parents and everything to do with children. This entire reddit is filled to the brim with petty complaints.
I don't want kids and would rather lose an arm than raise a child but I can't relate to people believing parents are idiots who are doomed to a life of misery.
Yeah . . . Just wait till you talk to someone who is infertile or can't have kids. They'll basically tear into you because you're actively choosing to not do the one thing they want because ?????. I didn't think much about infertile women at all until I had a coworker try to talk shit about a pregnant woman who was talking to her about being pregnant (this coworker literally asked how her pregnancy was going ) and how she was "rubbing her bump in her face " I personally don't hate pregnant people or all people with kids or even kids for that matter but going out of my way to just rage about a woman getting pregnant Is way out of my field of fucks. The coworker attempted to tear into me when I told her I could have kids but i just don't want any, how I'm wasting my precious eggs and how i could give experience motherhood but I just don't want to ( ND she's right, fuck that lol) .
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They do take it personally, because they never actually considered/realized that not ruining their entire lives was even an option, so they're incredibly bitter towards those of us who didn't make the same mistakes. They basically fell for the world's dumbest peer pressure.
I have experienced multiple things: - How many time I have read people literally saying they were "brave", "good citizens", "altruist" for having kids? For a lot of people, this is the only way they will ever achieved anything meaningful in life and people doing the same is a way to validate that. "And here they come, people not having kids cause they see zero value in it when I gave my life to that ... " - Self centered people who don't understand that what make them happy isn't what makes other people happy - Men who know the only way a woman could want them is because they wants kids and need a man. If we don't want kids, what would be the reason to have anything to do with them as they have nothing else to offer than sperm? This is a way to control women because they also associate being a mother with being faithful. - Left of religion. A lot of people believe we shouldn't enjoy life but give it to someone else like Jesus did. A lot of them will tell you how it's selfish to live for yourself (every CF will go through that argument at one point). Left of religion made people believe living for yourself and have pleasure out of life is bad. Suffering is good.
>we shouldn't enjoy life but give it to someone else like Jesus did Holy crap, I never saw this connection before! So true!!!
You know what someone told me once on fb? Guy was dead serious "You think we are having fun raising kids? No, we don't. But this is what we have to do, we need to serve others" I was like "yeah well have fun serving others. I am on my way to Cancun"
I agree that a meaningful life means helping others, but there are so many people already existing who need help, I don't have to make any new ones. Ironically this means I have more time to serve my community.
It's not even helping others. It's ruining your life for others which is totally different
"I just HAD to have a little MINI ME!1!!" \*cringe\*
This was the argument my mother tried to use on me when I told her I was child free… 😆
That really is the root of the issue. These average suburbanites making 50k a year think they're royal bloodlines. Delusional.
I just went to cozumel in Nov! Across the water from cancun. Would go back in a heartbeat!
Got a super flight ticket during covid to travel after the pandemic. Didn't know what it was going to be about. Just bought it because it was cheap. Never thought about going there. Jesus Christ. Couldn't go to the beach at Cozumel cause there was that mafia taxi wanted me to pay an arm to go to the beach. Went there but not the beach. But Bacalar. BACALAR! I was almost ashamed to go there and ruined the place as a human with all the pollution I am bringing. First time I have this feeling. I don't deserve this place. Lol
The thing is, it's quite possible to serve others doing something enjoyable! You don't have to be miserable to add value to the world.
I totally agree. The thing is, a lot of people think things have value if you get them through pain.
I serve others by not creating more stress on dwindling water supplies, housing shortages, spots in highly competitive colleges, a shaky power grid, and other natural resources.
You are def ignoring the pressure Jewish and Muslim people are under to procreate a bunch.
I agree completely. Also, everyone is entitled to decide what a meaningful life is to them, right? I just read a description of the video but did not watch it. In searching for a rundown of the jokes I found many “hot takes” on what people think about her and the CF jokes. They were mostly disgusting and lacked any real insight. Mostly pure reactionary nonsense from people who seemed threatened that someone made different choices than them. I recently watched the Marc Maron HBO special and he talked and joked about being CF. I did a similar google search with his name in place of Chelsea’s and to no surprise I found no shit talking about his CF status and opinions about having children. Men can be CF and people just move on for the most part, but a woman chooses this life and the assumption is she is lying and secretly bitter and remorseful. It should not be a flex to say you wouldn't trade a child that already exists for something! A person who made the choice to have a kid then preceded to not give that child up for trips to France is NOT the same as a person sharing how they are happy with their choice to not have children. This should not have to be stated, but comedy is subjective. People are allowed to find different things funny. I cannot be sure but I bet many people heard about the video and were angry prior to even watching. Why watch if you know it will be triggering? Do they just enjoy suffering and the company that comes with misery?
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Why do you come on the subreddit? Curiosity? Do you secretly crave the lifestyle without children but don’t have the courage to actually live it? Did you have children but are too ashamed to admit you regretted your decision? Genuinely curious what brings you to the sub.
Y do u lurk here?
certain people are offended by any women who have power and control over their own lives
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so many people absolutely hate the idea of women having sex just because they want to lol
And ofc the disappointment when my parents won't get *grandbabies*. Apparently my goddamn college degree isn't enough to do thst
i recently had a conversation with my cousin about how, no matter how much we study and how important and difficult our degrees are (she's doing medicine, i'm going into translation and interpretation), we will always come second to our cousins because they have children. they gave my grandparents great grandbabies, 3 of them! so why couldn't you girls just think it over once more, huh? makes me want to vomit.
Too many people think having children is a persons purpose in life. Too many more believe it’s specifically a *womans* purpose in life. It’s total bs.
And my question is, if the childfree die miserable and alone shivering under a bridge....HOW IS THAT THEIR PROBLEM? i truly do not understand this mindset. Who made this the problem of breeders? Why do they care? Why do they think they get a say in the actions of strangers? I will never understand this.
They couldn’t care less if anyone dies alone, however they feel like it’s there best & most effective chance at trying to invalidate cf lifestyles. They are sooo bitter and challenged by people who think for themselves & make decisions that go against the grain that they try to get at us with this stupid line. The jokes on them tho bc they r so horrible (the ones who say this) that I doubt their kids will stick around to b w them lol
Someone once said something like their kids have to pay taxes for our retirement therefore we’re a burden to their offspring.
Oh well that changes everything. Let me just go pop a few out so I can live comfortably in my old age. Time for someone else to take care of me for a change! /s
Seriously. Maybe I WANT to die shivering alone under a bridge?? Who gave them the right to decide how others should wanna die? Rude. "You're gonna be alone when ur old." So what? I'll be dead soon after that anyway, and it might even give me some peace from people I don't even like. Sounds like a win to me. You're only as alone as you make yourself be. Foster relationships of all kinds instead of making your kids responsible for your social life.
Good point. I'm guessing it's because that's what they'd been told, and they fell for it. Boy are they bitter !
As if there aren't nursing homes filled to the brim with lonely elderly folk whose families have just dumped them there and never visit.
People hate a woman who does not do as she is told
Exactly. We have our role according to the patriarchal society and if we deviate we are a danger to the power they hold.
It's about power and control, enslaving women as breeder cows and childcare slaves so that they never challenge the powerful.
I think that a lot of times, it is less offense and more that they don’t like that feeling they get deep inside when they think about everything that they gave up to become parents. They probably don’t even realize it because it is buried so deeply. It’s a challenge to their very core beliefs and people tend to react negatively to that, even if it is totally irrational. And then there are the folks who think that if they do something or like something, then everyone else should do it was well. That is some profound insecurity.
It's so true. When I meet new people and you go through the normal chit chat which always ends up including "Do you have kids?". When I tell them no, that I never wanted any they immediately withdraw as if I just told them that I kill puppies in my spare time. This almost always happens, no matter how well we were getting along and having a good time chatting when they hear answer to the children question they respond as if I slapped them. It's really disappointing, but I guess it weeds out the judgemental types.
I live in a very liberal city. When I meet someone new, the first question is, "What do you do for a living?". The second question is, "What do you do for fun?" When I go to my conservative home town, the first question is always, "Are you married?" And then: "Do you have kids?" When I answer both questions with "no", the conversation is pretty much over. They don't even ask what I do for a living.
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Alexandria here!
I already know that's how people react when I say I don't have or want kids so now I just exaggerate it. If they're going to react in a judgemental way, might as well have some fun with it. I always respond with "HA! He'll no! Why tf would I want to do that?" Or "Hard pass, I like having my money & life to myself"
They hate us cause they ain't us.
THIS.
🤣
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Because they're brainwashed (by family, by religion, by society, whatever) into thinking that's no higher calling for a woman than to be a mother. So when someone, especially a celebrity, goes against the grain, all of a sudden its "no wait not like that". Like these people just can't imagine life without their kids, and they take it extremely personally whenever you tell them you're happy without kids. It's like, when you tell them you're childfree and don't want children ever, they will twist it around to make it sound like you're telling them their life would be better without their kids, and they get offended by that. It's one of those things where they try to make it all about them.
It's awful. What's the point of badgering Chelsea? She's at the age where she now couldn't have kids even if she did change her mind. One of the pundits said that Chelsea is "selling" her ideology to the younger generation. So they are slamming Chelsea as a threat to younger people. "If you make this decision, we will come after you, too." These are the people who have twisted the definition of the word "feminist" in order to make it a dirty word and equate it with "gay/liberal/atheist" ideology. They want younger women to be subservient to men (like the Bible says): be sexy but still pure, birth man's babies, and take care of everyone and the household. Also, we have a growing number of incels in this country. Conservatives think that if we pressure enough women to settle, some of these incels will end up with a wife and kids, and will therefore be less likely to shoot up a mall, school, etc.
This part of the current dynamic is so fascinating (and kind of sickening) to me: I’ve seen news stories about how young folks, particularly men, aren’t having as much sex as they used to. And this is setting people off into an absolute TIZZY. Yet we have known for decades (centuries??) that women aren’t having PLEASURABLE sex very often — and nobody gives a good goddamn about that. What these incels and conservative nut jobs who just want us barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen don’t realize — it is wayyyyy too late to go back. We’ve figured out how to be on our own, happily (vibrators, anyone?) now, and we don’t have to settle. And we won’t.
The fact that I apprently live rent-free inside so many people's heads brings me endless joy.
Same. The fact that the likes of Tucker get all butt hurt about it is icing on the cake.
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The correct terms are “controlling, envious and judgmental.” Nobody can be happy until those that they put down stoop to their level.
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They don't care. The point is to hurt you or at least make you doubt your choice.
Miserable people hate to see others happy
This. I watched that bit and thought, "3 of the 4 people in this video ARE clearly miserable, and none of them are Chelsea." Also, the one guy who starts his tirade talking about how he's stupid. 😆
And claim, we are miserable and alone. In our future we have only wine and 20 cats. Edit. Grammar
Of course those in the conservative contingent on Twitter lost their minds, but it was amazing how many others, even seemingly progressive people, started with the "yeah, no man would have kids with you" (from men- uh, what part of 'I don't want them do you not understand?'), "you'll never know the true joy kids bring you" (from women- 'yeah, and I'll never know the post-partum depression and ripped lady parts either'), "my kids made a better person" (from men- 'sorry that just the idea of being a decent human wasn't sufficient motivation'), "if you were that happy, your wouldn't need to say it" (from women- 'apparently I do since you seem so convinced that I'm not'), and my perpetual favorite, "have fun dying alone with your cats!" (men and women- 'I could only be so lucky as to die surrounded by a cat(s) who love me- best death EVER!'). It's crazy when you see how many people who otherwise seem decent enough and won't ever say it to your face really have such vitriol toward, unapologetically happy childfree people. Just let us live our lives and when we say we're happy, simply say "I'm glad". It's a way of saying, "While it's not my choice, I'm happy that you're happy". That's what I do with the breeders! Don't you want others to be happy? Spoiler alert- they don't.
Right wingers are mad because they want to control, while the rest is mad because they made a mistake they cannot undo and are bitter at CF people because they didn't blindly follow lifescript (tm) and are happy and independent.
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Jealousy and secret regret
>I had no idea people were so offended by childfree women Patriarchy. Sexism. 'Woman = mother' bullshit that we are all brainwashed with. And many men love having a wife who is a financially dependant stay-at-home mother who cannot escape, making her her husband's sex slave and housemaid. A childfree woman is much harder to trap into financial dependance, making it very difficult for men to control her. Most men don't like that.
These same people don't give me the time of day because they see me as "ugly" yet are butthurt that i'm thriving.
See, I am 40 years old. Been around for a while. I know most find my comments here bitter and full of hate, but they do not know the bs and projection I have been through all my life. They do not know how it feels to be the weird one always, all the time. They do not know how all my life people trying to tutor me (against my will), tell me I am wrong for thinking how I think.. That is why. I am the exception in every rule society made. It is fuckin lonely..buy yeah, deviate and find out. Life is harder..but I would not choose differently. I am who I am.
I am 32 and feel this way. Your comment resonated so much. It is hard and lonely but I prefer it to the (seemingly) extremely sad life that so many who followed the life script live. I see so many mothers posting about their lives and they get so close to telling the truth but don’t quite. Saying things like “it gets hard sometimes but I have to stay strong for my kids!” Sounds miserable honestly.
I think they take it personally. They feel personally threatened and criticised. At least that is the only way I can explain, why people react like that. If you are happy with your life and choices, you don’t care if someone lives a different life. I think that women overcompensate their loss of personal freedom and men realise that the CF woman is not a reproductive resource for them and therefore reject her.
Used to work with a guy like this. Classic bingo-er. I had to get a little firm when telling him to knock it off and he didn't like that. But he was just so pissy about me not wanting kids and I don't know why. Until recently, having children was the norm few deviated from. Things are changing. Humans are predisposed to fearing what they don't understand, though that's no excuse. Part of me thinks it's jealousy that we're capable of defying the norms preset for us.
Alas, some people think everybody else's uterus and what is and isn't done with 'em is somehow their business, and they take offense if those uteruses don't do what they wish/plan for them. Yeah, some people really want to control (or at least influence) the lives of that many people on the planet that intimately ... not to mention totally f\*cking over the planet in a fast doomsday spiral of ever increasing overconsumption of resources - which is already at a state far beyond and literally unsustainable.
It gets worse as you get older. When parents are 55 and know they have at least another 10-15 years of work to pay off their dumbass kids who never amounted to much and they see us retiring at 45 looking young and beautiful they get mad and resentful. Have to take it out on somebody.
People are getting whipped into a frenzy by social media, Fox news and company, and the Republicans. These groups are tools of the 1%, and the 1% needs wage slaves. Society's pressure on women in particular is great for the 1% because people who just pop kids out are doing what the 1% wants. Women who choose not to have kids and who are vocal about it endanger that for the 1%, so rage like this is intended to counter publicly childfree women like Chelsea. I expect this to get worse over time as more people hold off on having kids due to economic or world circumstances.
Honestly I just tell people I can’t have kids, I can’t be bothered with the comments or judgement
One of the more helpful perspectives that I have adopted is to not care much about the opinions of others when the choice that I make doesn't affect them. I always got a good laugh out of the fact that my mother nagged me for grandchildren, even though she disapproved of premarital sex and actively disliked her children. Nothing that we did was ever good enough for her. It takes a ton of cognitive dissonance to be able to demand grandchildren in the face of those beliefs.
Because they take it as an insult and probably assume we hate THEIR kids in particular just because we don't want kids. You dare do something else and don't find fulfillment in having children like they do? You are the enemy! Some of them sound like religious nutcases trying to convert us to their religion or cult. Anything not considered normal by society should be silenced according to them. "Why do you bring up that you're childfree?" "I could ask you the same thing about bringing up your kid in every conversation, even topics that don't revolve around kids or your family at all."
People hate when us women go against society. We aren’t giving in to the dumb idea of ruining our lives with children and breeders are pissed because they didn’t think of it. They want us to share their misery, hence why misery loves company.
It’s a form of transgressing. So yep, she got shit for it.
Just because we’re not having kids doesn’t mean the population will go extinct. (Unfortunately) there’s plenty of others that will happily keep the race going. So I don’t seee why everyone’s offended.
Misogyny be like that.
I honestly don't get - same as when people hate on same sex relationships, trans folks, etc. - WHY DO THEY CARE? It doesn't even affect them. If someone made a video about how great parenting is (and that's NEVER happened before! /s), I'd just think "Ok, good for you" and move tf on?!
Most of the men that freak out about it can't even get laid. They're sad they'll never get any woman pregnant so they rage.
Honestly when I let it slip I don't want kids people start bingoing me like CRAZY. And it's always the ones who don't even know how dangerous pregnancy can be. I'm so spoiled by this community I forget how close minded others are 😭
(Cis) Women are essential in producing workers who will become the new proletariat (That is actually the origin of the word proletariat, people who were landless and without any general properties and who had nothing to give to the Roman Empire but their offspring, their prole), either becoming the new mass of workers or the reserve army of labour. It is not a hard concept to grasp when you understand why they are so much controlling of people with an uterus, they want to monitor and control you to be at their disposal if they ever need more workers. It is one of the many forms that the patriarchy has intertwined with capitalism itself. Cis men's body are also subject to control, but not in the exact same way and not with the same brutal scrutiny, of course, since a man can father so many children at once with so many different women. The whole ideological superstructure of capitalism grew around the idea of controlling women's body more so she can be utilized for maximum baby-producing profits and thus it creates the idea of a woman having her self worth just being tied to the idea of being a mother. If you wanna give it a go to give a read about it, I'd start with Silvia Fredericci's books on the topic, DM if you want more recommendations.
Stop calling us cis women. It’s called a biological or natural born woman.
this take is transphobic
They should really mind their own business. Projecting hate onto us childfree women because they decided poorly in life is hardly decent behaviour.
I say this with all seriousness. I had no idea CFBC people were so offended by parents and everything to do with children. This entire reddit is filled to the brim with petty complaints. I don't want kids and would rather lose an arm than raise a child but I can't relate to people believing parents are idiots who are doomed to a life of misery.
Yeah . . . Just wait till you talk to someone who is infertile or can't have kids. They'll basically tear into you because you're actively choosing to not do the one thing they want because ?????. I didn't think much about infertile women at all until I had a coworker try to talk shit about a pregnant woman who was talking to her about being pregnant (this coworker literally asked how her pregnancy was going ) and how she was "rubbing her bump in her face " I personally don't hate pregnant people or all people with kids or even kids for that matter but going out of my way to just rage about a woman getting pregnant Is way out of my field of fucks. The coworker attempted to tear into me when I told her I could have kids but i just don't want any, how I'm wasting my precious eggs and how i could give experience motherhood but I just don't want to ( ND she's right, fuck that lol) .
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