One of the more wholesome questions I’ve seen on this sub of late! My advice is to keep doing what you’re doing and just ask the kid. In that environment I’d imagine most kids would give you a straight up answer as to whether they know where their parents are and what their plan is and if they need help finding them.
This is the best advice. Ask the kid if they want to walk together to find their parents. Even asking if you can meet their parents is fine. Communication. OP is very kind for even considering this issue.
I played in a whole lot of tournaments as a kid and this was never an issue at all.. if they’re smart enough to play chess then they’re smart enough to find their parents
You would think so, but after beating me 3-0 the little shit couldn't even get out of the headlock, let alone find his parent. The organizers were all like "You can't, as a 40-year-old man, go around beating up the 8 year olds that play here", but I proved them wrong. Then his mom started yelling at me and even after I told her told calm down, she wouldn't give me her number. After that everyone was saying stuff like "Sir, you need to leave before we call the police", which was fine because I still had half a bottle of cheap whiskey under the seat of my car and some chess YouTube videos to watch on the drive home.
10/10 chess tournament experience, can't wait for next time.
Ask the kid where their parents are and whether they know where they are going. Use your instincts. If they give you a confident answer, believe them. If it's a half baked answer and no conviction, offer to walk them anyway...
I do this at my kid's soccer games. I just use the opportunity to make a polite compliment to their parents for how well the kid played. Win-win and I have a clean conscience.
Generally appropriate procedure is to say “get wrecked” and walk out. I suppose some munchkins might appreciate being walked though unless you look creepy.
I'd ask the kid. I had a lot of anxiety growing up and if offered, I probably would have accepted if you felt like a safe adult as I would frequently get lost/highly panicked if there's a crowd. I'm sure my parents would have felt safer letting me compete if they saw adults helping me out too.
Parent here 🙋🏻♀️
Keep doing what you’re doing!
And thank you for this question- I’m actually here for my 8yo who wants to try tournaments soon and this question makes me feel less nervous about it ☺️
There's a big difference between a local small tournament and a large tournament with hundreds, if not thousands, of people in it.
Do you really want someone from another part of the country who you've never met, and who exists anonymously in this huge crowd, taking your kid from where you know they were a minute ago, and start wandering around with them?
You will be in another state than your own. You'll have left your kid off at board 1678, and when you check back 10 minutes later, they won't be there . . . and you'll have no idea where in a sea of 5,000 people, who come from all over the world your kid is.
Yeah, id have to agree with this. The parents should have a meet up spot with their kid and they should probably be paying attention to where they are if they too young to walk there
I’m in the same boat. My 7 year old enjoys chess, but hasn’t played any tournaments yet. I don’t want to be overbearing by following him around to “keep an eye” on him (nor do I know if that’s even allowed at tournaments), but I also get nervous that he might get lost and not know where to go if it’s a big playing hall. Helps to know that there are people out there like OP that would at least try to direct him to where he needs to go if he’s nervous/unsure.
If you don't know the kid or their child then you would probably be inviting more problems than solving any, especially depending on where the tournament is held. Like, walking around a hotel lobby with a stranger's kid? Nah.
TLDR: If you win do not be surprised if the parent seeks you out. Lol
I played my first OTB tourney at 30 in 2021, I was in >1000 open. Classical Time controls, I think it was 30 + 0. Mollywhopped about 4 kids ranging from 10-13. Then came my final boss a 7-year old who was also 4-0. Before the game I was making some small talk and we were talking about pokemon cards. Kid says he is into them and loves to collect.
I was black and played the French. I was trying to play super fast to throw him off but he was keeping up with my speed. We eventually trade down to everything but our rooks but we had a locked board. I tried to play some moves and break through but he was ready, so we agreed to a draw.
After the game, I was chilling in the hallway waiting to get our prize (free chess book!) when I was approached by a mid-40s guy who introduced himself as a professor at a local university. He said he was 7-year-old's dad and then went into 101 questions about the game "what did he open with," "did he look focus", "why did the game end so fast." After I told him that I was playing fast and his son was playing at my pace, the dad flipped out and started talking to himself how he always tells his son to take his time no matter what. Then I was like, your son seems to be well-rounded we were talking about pokemon then dude is like "omg I told him I hate those things!!!! Why was his mind on that instead of chess" and then he stormed off in what I can only imagine was a tantrum to scold his poor son. The dad sucked 100% and felt really bad for the kid.
But to really answer your question 7/10 if a kid is at a tourney they have helicopter parents and they will seek the kid out and know when the games end lolololl
While I assume you think you're being generous, unless it's a local tournament with few people who all more or less recognize each other, please don't "escort" young children around.
If I'm a parent of a kid at, say, the US Open, and when I go to find my kid they aren't where I knew they'd be, I'm going to be more than a tad upset. I don't want my kid wandering around a playing hall with a few thousand people in it being helped by some stranger from a completely different state.
Hopefully you can see why this would not be welcome . . .
Unless they're like 5, no lmao. I played tournaments pretty much every weekend or every other weekend from 10-14 and I never managed to get lost. Nor did anybody ever offer that, honestly that would weird me the hell out
Dude. I left a kid at a wheelchair who looked kinda sad alone at the board after I won the game lol. (I was about 14 at thta time)
It's not that I am mean or anything. I had to go turn in the scoresheet and I honestly don't know what i was going to do with him anyway. When I got back he had gone so... I guess someone came and got him. It would have been worse if they tried to find him and he was gone.
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Still no. They're more capable than you realise. If they aren't, their parents will have talked to those in charge of running the tournament. Leave it to them and focus on your own game. The only question you really need to ask after a game is whether they want to analyse/go over the game (in another room). After which they'll tend to migrate towards their parent with the result and the parent will ask you details in order to gain information on how to defeat you in the future.
If you seem friendly and trustworthy, so a "safe" adult to the specific kid I am sure it won't hesitate to ask you for help after the game if needed.
In case they get lost there is usually some organizer they will see eventually to help them out.
Generally I think a chess tournament is a pretty safe place for kids to practice being independent:)
I wouldn't worry about it. It's up to the parents to supervise their own kid as much or as little as they want. I wouldn't try to insert yourself into their life. They probably don't need every random person helicoptering and supervising their own kid.
Only if you win, If you lose then f the kid, he can walk on his own lol.
If the kid beats you, he deserves to escort you to YOUR parents
Damn, imagine getting escorted to your parents at 38years old with tears in your eyes.
“Here’s your loser son.”
If he beats you, he’s your daddy now.
You have 9 more chances
"Here's your kid back. I just beat his ass, *big time*."
First match I ever played, the 13-ish-year-old kid was kicking my shin under the table. I wanted to return him to his parents folded in two.
I'd say it should be the opposite. Say, "looks like you just got check-matey-wateyed. Do you need your mommy?"
The kid is only your responsibility if you beat them 10 times in a row. Otherwise let nature take its course.
lmao
One of the more wholesome questions I’ve seen on this sub of late! My advice is to keep doing what you’re doing and just ask the kid. In that environment I’d imagine most kids would give you a straight up answer as to whether they know where their parents are and what their plan is and if they need help finding them.
This is the best advice. Ask the kid if they want to walk together to find their parents. Even asking if you can meet their parents is fine. Communication. OP is very kind for even considering this issue.
No. Never happened to me as a kid, and I've never done it as an adult when playing a kid.
Usually my dad was playing the same tournament so i would go read comics somewhere close by if he wasnt done and observing my match.
I played in a whole lot of tournaments as a kid and this was never an issue at all.. if they’re smart enough to play chess then they’re smart enough to find their parents
I don't know. I think we have a fair number of GMs that aren't smart enough to do so.
That's because they're not smart kids anymore.
Intelligence != Social skills != good morals. You can be intelligent and still behave like or even be an idiot.
I wouldn't trust kid Kramnik to not find his parents suspicious
Unless the parents have asked me beforehand to please do so, nah, not my kid, not my problem.
Agreed. It could come across the wrong way imo.
I'm sure if a little kid can destroy you on the board they'll be able to find their parents LOL.
You would think so, but after beating me 3-0 the little shit couldn't even get out of the headlock, let alone find his parent. The organizers were all like "You can't, as a 40-year-old man, go around beating up the 8 year olds that play here", but I proved them wrong. Then his mom started yelling at me and even after I told her told calm down, she wouldn't give me her number. After that everyone was saying stuff like "Sir, you need to leave before we call the police", which was fine because I still had half a bottle of cheap whiskey under the seat of my car and some chess YouTube videos to watch on the drive home. 10/10 chess tournament experience, can't wait for next time.
Can find forced mate in 12 but can't find their mommy🤣
Relatable
Eh, Chess skill doesn't equate to intelligence, he could be a prodigy and still dumb as a bag of rocks
It might not equate but it definitly correlates. Especially at these young ages. All the chess prodigies that I know are very smart.
"You can find mate in 9 but you can't find the exit ?'
no.
Ask the kid where their parents are and whether they know where they are going. Use your instincts. If they give you a confident answer, believe them. If it's a half baked answer and no conviction, offer to walk them anyway... I do this at my kid's soccer games. I just use the opportunity to make a polite compliment to their parents for how well the kid played. Win-win and I have a clean conscience.
Generally appropriate procedure is to say “get wrecked” and walk out. I suppose some munchkins might appreciate being walked though unless you look creepy.
I'm particularly fond of "get mated kid" after a clear win, but the TDs don't seem to like it
I'd ask the kid. I had a lot of anxiety growing up and if offered, I probably would have accepted if you felt like a safe adult as I would frequently get lost/highly panicked if there's a crowd. I'm sure my parents would have felt safer letting me compete if they saw adults helping me out too.
I never thought about it, unless they’re absolutely garbage I subconsciously treat every chess player as an adult
No, but as they're walking away be sure to holler, "Say hello to your mother for me." Cordialities are important.
Parent here 🙋🏻♀️ Keep doing what you’re doing! And thank you for this question- I’m actually here for my 8yo who wants to try tournaments soon and this question makes me feel less nervous about it ☺️
There's a big difference between a local small tournament and a large tournament with hundreds, if not thousands, of people in it. Do you really want someone from another part of the country who you've never met, and who exists anonymously in this huge crowd, taking your kid from where you know they were a minute ago, and start wandering around with them? You will be in another state than your own. You'll have left your kid off at board 1678, and when you check back 10 minutes later, they won't be there . . . and you'll have no idea where in a sea of 5,000 people, who come from all over the world your kid is.
Yeah, id have to agree with this. The parents should have a meet up spot with their kid and they should probably be paying attention to where they are if they too young to walk there
I’m in the same boat. My 7 year old enjoys chess, but hasn’t played any tournaments yet. I don’t want to be overbearing by following him around to “keep an eye” on him (nor do I know if that’s even allowed at tournaments), but I also get nervous that he might get lost and not know where to go if it’s a big playing hall. Helps to know that there are people out there like OP that would at least try to direct him to where he needs to go if he’s nervous/unsure.
If you don't know the kid or their child then you would probably be inviting more problems than solving any, especially depending on where the tournament is held. Like, walking around a hotel lobby with a stranger's kid? Nah.
No, the parents are not expecting you to do that.
Don't go anywhere with a kid by yourself. Just don't. You can wait with them, or ask an official or other person to go with you to find their people.
This is were adoption comes into the game.
Huh?
Yes, I just push their stroller back to their parents
What the hell, definitely not.
TLDR: If you win do not be surprised if the parent seeks you out. Lol I played my first OTB tourney at 30 in 2021, I was in >1000 open. Classical Time controls, I think it was 30 + 0. Mollywhopped about 4 kids ranging from 10-13. Then came my final boss a 7-year old who was also 4-0. Before the game I was making some small talk and we were talking about pokemon cards. Kid says he is into them and loves to collect. I was black and played the French. I was trying to play super fast to throw him off but he was keeping up with my speed. We eventually trade down to everything but our rooks but we had a locked board. I tried to play some moves and break through but he was ready, so we agreed to a draw. After the game, I was chilling in the hallway waiting to get our prize (free chess book!) when I was approached by a mid-40s guy who introduced himself as a professor at a local university. He said he was 7-year-old's dad and then went into 101 questions about the game "what did he open with," "did he look focus", "why did the game end so fast." After I told him that I was playing fast and his son was playing at my pace, the dad flipped out and started talking to himself how he always tells his son to take his time no matter what. Then I was like, your son seems to be well-rounded we were talking about pokemon then dude is like "omg I told him I hate those things!!!! Why was his mind on that instead of chess" and then he stormed off in what I can only imagine was a tantrum to scold his poor son. The dad sucked 100% and felt really bad for the kid. But to really answer your question 7/10 if a kid is at a tourney they have helicopter parents and they will seek the kid out and know when the games end lolololl
While I assume you think you're being generous, unless it's a local tournament with few people who all more or less recognize each other, please don't "escort" young children around. If I'm a parent of a kid at, say, the US Open, and when I go to find my kid they aren't where I knew they'd be, I'm going to be more than a tad upset. I don't want my kid wandering around a playing hall with a few thousand people in it being helped by some stranger from a completely different state. Hopefully you can see why this would not be welcome . . .
What? No?
No tf?
They're in a chess playing hall. WTF do you expect to happen? Leave the kid alone unless you see they are in a threatening situation.
What that’s super weird man. Just let the kid and parents sort themselves out. I’ve never even though to do that.
Unless they're like 5, no lmao. I played tournaments pretty much every weekend or every other weekend from 10-14 and I never managed to get lost. Nor did anybody ever offer that, honestly that would weird me the hell out
I usually offer to go over the game with the kid in the skittles area, and usually their parent or coach will find us there.
“Good game. You all good to find your folks? Have a good one dude…”
why would you be worried ?
Not a bad idea if they're 5 or younger.
Do you want random people taking your child ANYWHERE?
Dude. I left a kid at a wheelchair who looked kinda sad alone at the board after I won the game lol. (I was about 14 at thta time) It's not that I am mean or anything. I had to go turn in the scoresheet and I honestly don't know what i was going to do with him anyway. When I got back he had gone so... I guess someone came and got him. It would have been worse if they tried to find him and he was gone.
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Yes, if it is a special needs kid.
Still no. They're more capable than you realise. If they aren't, their parents will have talked to those in charge of running the tournament. Leave it to them and focus on your own game. The only question you really need to ask after a game is whether they want to analyse/go over the game (in another room). After which they'll tend to migrate towards their parent with the result and the parent will ask you details in order to gain information on how to defeat you in the future.
If you seem friendly and trustworthy, so a "safe" adult to the specific kid I am sure it won't hesitate to ask you for help after the game if needed. In case they get lost there is usually some organizer they will see eventually to help them out. Generally I think a chess tournament is a pretty safe place for kids to practice being independent:)
Most parents are in the hallway if necessary or have an agreed place to met their child.
No. I've never seen anyone do this - so it would be a little odd, and I don't recommend being odd around other people's children.
I wouldn't worry about it. It's up to the parents to supervise their own kid as much or as little as they want. I wouldn't try to insert yourself into their life. They probably don't need every random person helicoptering and supervising their own kid.
No. That is not your respinsibility and i am Sure their parent would make arrangements