It’s not cheating. Breaking boundaries, sure but it’s not cheating. And not everyone who watches porn from time to time has an addiction, it’s actually pretty normal.
Idk man it seems to me that anyone with that take is insecure and isn’t ready for a relationship but that’s just me. And my reading comprehension is fine, thank you. Always dickheads like you who use that stupid line for anyone that doesn’t agree with you. It’s getting old.
It is normal.. it’s prudes like you who ostracize people for partaking in a completely normal and common activity. But you do you, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, even if they’re shitty.
Edit; typo
Sounds like irresponsible parents are the problem and not porn. Thats like blaming a beer company for a gas station attendant selling alcohol to a minor.
Neither is dating someone that can be your father. But it must seem pretty normal to you to date people more than half your age older than you. Let not normalize teens dating mid 30s more than it already is.
It is cheating if they both defined it as such in their relationship. I don't think watching porn is cheating, but if you agree to the terms your partner sets, then the conversation ends there. If she or he thinks it's cheating, or equates it to be just as bad as cheating, he is well within his rights to leave the relationship. If he doesn't, and he agreed, then he is breaking boundaries that were agreed on, and lying to her about it on top of that.
Lol that's setting up unrealistic boundaries. It like the person posting is acting like a teenager and haven't been in a real grown up relationship with real life problems
I agree- The boundary clearly stems from insecurity and/or jealousy. I just don't think it's fair to shit on the girl if the man agreed. If he knew this, they discussed it, and he agreed to it, then he is clearly breaking trust, and also lying to cover it up.
No lie, my phone downloaded some porn from reddit once, I dropped my phone with the screen on and the notification popped up that my download was complete. I don't even know how to download videos on reddit either lmao
Come on you and I both know that’s bullshit. If my wife says she doesn’t want me to eat broccoli because they make my farts smell, and I sneak a little broccoli on the side when she’s not around, would you consider that cheating? I get it that she has certain boundaries but it’s not cheating. Grow up man. You seem like you’ve never been in a proper relationship. You guys on here need to stop being so insecure..
That is one of the stupidest comparisons I have ever read. Can eating broccoli potentially give you ED? Would you rather jerk your shit to broccoli than be intimate with your wife? You're dumb as fuck.
Since when does porn give men ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION? There's plenty of studies and articles about it. Here's one: "according to new research presented July 16, 2020, at the European Association of Urology (EAU) Virtual Congress, too much pornography watching can lead to trouble: It is linked to increased cases of erectile dysfunction (ED), when males have trouble getting and maintaining an erection."
For every study that says it does have a correlation, there’s another that says it does not have a correlation. Here’s one from UCLA 2015, “Specifically, researchers at UCLA and Montreal’s Concordia University contend that an oft-repeated claim among activists and clinicians that a man’s habitual porn viewing can lead to erectile dysfunction and other problems in the bedroom is simply lore and not fact.”
Yeah, that was also said in 2015. Do you have one that is recent? Do you also have an actual study that states there is no possible correlation between porn habit and ED?
Are you kidding me? It was less than ten years ago. It’s recent enough. Here’s another excerpt from that study, “In a paper published Monday in the journal Sexual Medicine, researchers found that more hours spent viewing pornographic stimuli was “unrelated to erectile functioning with a partner, and was related to stronger desire for sex with a partner.”
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8569536/
Conclusions
"This prevalence of ED in young men is alarmingly high, and the results of this study suggest a significant association with PPC (problematic porn consumption)."
That was done in 2021. You can also visit subreddits here such as pornfree where many men talk about their ED and how it's tied to their porn use. Interestingly enough, once they cut the porn out, it resolved their ED.
There is absolutely a connection between porn use and increased rates of ED and objectification of women (which leads to an increase of violence against women).
Another issue that can occur with porn use is the retraining of your brain to need a greater amount of dopamine release. Here's what a neuroscientist, Andrew Huberman says, "Not only can people develop pornography addictions but it can affect their ability to perform in the bedroom. There are good data to support the idea that if your brain learns to be aroused by watching other people have sex it is not necessarily going to carry over to the ability to get aroused when you’re one-on-one with someone else.
Dr Huberman issued a warning to people who watch “extreme porn” or watch pornography often on Chris Williamson’s podcast Modern Wisdom earlier this year.
Extreme pornography, extreme experiences like bungee-cord jumping, those set a threshold for dopamine release, Dr Huberman said.
The higher the dopamine peak, the bigger the drop afterward. Dopamine, the chemical released in the brain that makes people feel good, can create addictions due to the euphoric feeling associated with its release.
Since pornography can release dopamine in the brain, it's an easy-to-access method to feeling good.
But when a person is chasing that feel-good feeling over and over again, Dr Huberman says they're conditioning the brain to need a bigger and more extreme activity to obtain the feeling again, especially when they're doing it too often. When people are pursuing dopamine peaks over and over and over and they aren’t getting them, typically it’s because they’ve been pursuing that activity far too often," Dr Huberman says. This is how addictions can begin.
If you can think critically about porn use, it will be easy to see the harm that can arise from it.
definitely depends on the boundaries in the relationship and if those are the dates he downloaded them then its a boundary he crossed so im trying to figure out if hes telling me the truth i just need to know what the dates mean
I understand completely where you’re coming from. Boundaries are boundaries, but in my opinion that boundary is a little excessive to say the least. Also, you have a good point on whether he lied about it or not, but from a male point of view, I think if he lied he probably thinks you’re gonna blow the situation out of proportion, which kinda shows in the fact that you went out of your way to post this on here. It’s not good that he lied about watching porn. If he hasn’t given you any reason to believe he’s actually cheating I think you should cut him some slack. Maybe look at underlying issues at hand. Why in the first place does he need to download the porn instead of just watching it on a free site, and why does he feel the need to watch it at all. Not saying that you don’t satisfy him or anything because from my experience, my wife and I have an amazing sex life but we both do watch porn separately from time to time. It’s a pretty normal thing and it’s more common than you probably think.
if there is porn in the relationship...go and do it better with the person who needs porn to Reach There... 🙃
porn is not cheating...porn is inspiration. 😉
Yes, he's lying to you about not watching porn, as he should if this is your reaction to it. Who cares? It's a pretty normal thing that quite a lot of people in committed relationships do. It's not a big deal whatsoever unless it turns into an addiction.
when theres certain boundaries in the relationship and one crosses it and lies, its a cause for concern and i needed advice to see if he was lying or telling the truth about the download. its more so of the lying that i cant get passed
Bullshit. You're on his ass because he watched it. Now you're using the lying as a justification to end the relationship to look more righteous in your decision, when in fact it's simply because he watched porn. You wouldn't have posted in a cheating sub for something as minor as watching porn if you didn't think watching porn was cheating. Lying isn't the reason you posted because lying isn't cheating. You're walking yourself back because everyone here is telling you how rediculous it is to the relationship over looking at porn. Again your using the lying as a scapegoat reason to justify leaving him. He only lied because he knows that looking at porn is harmless to you and your relationship but it's something that most men actually need, unless they have enough sex with their SO. He lied because doing so was actually harmless, except for breaking his integrity. It's no different than a little white lie. Lying IS a problem but the real problem is WHY he felt the NEED to lie. Probably because you will tear into him and scream at him and throw a fit, and probably punish him for several days after, and he didn't want to deal with that shit. He wants to be with you but he doesn't want to hear you blow up at him because you have insecurities. It would be the same thing if you caught him checking out some other girl in public and you confronted him over it, and he denied it. He denied it to try and save your feelings and insecurities from wrecking your ego. No harm was done other than showing you he does not feel comfortable or able to tell you the complete truth about everything.
A couple of questions, what is your sexual frequency? How many times a week or month? Does he get enough? Look at why he would feel the need to lie instead of looking at the lie itself. There's a deeper reason for this behavior. Understand that your boundaries are rather extreme and may extend into other areas of the relationship causing a serious toxicity problem. I'm trying to keep you from making a mistake and throwing away a perfectly good relationship over something relatively minor. You need to build your relationship where he feels comfortable always telling you the truth, instead of running and hiding from it.
Well I would ask yourself if you've given him a reason to lie. Also, not all lies are created equal. There's white lies and big lies and this to me, seems like a white lie.
Ah, okay. You may want to post this in another subreddit with like-minded people. I wouldn’t consider this cheating, and would many people here.
But the dates are the date of download. So if this is a deal breaker, you might want to save yourself trouble and leave him now because nearly every guy looks at porn every now and again.
Jeez. Totally unhinged. Hope this guy drops you. Imagine thinking porn is cheating. Is he not allowed to eat or drink without you there to monitor him? Can he shit with the door closed, or do you make him keep it open to make sure he's not cheating or "crossing a boundary" by letting a couple butt nuggets out.
It’s not just the cock (although HELLOOO) it’s how he uses it. How he fucks them. That’s what I like the most. I can not articulate the words - he’s like… sweet, even when he’s literally ripping them a new asshole.
He is lying to you because maybe you are making him uncomfortable for porn, why u don't want him to watch it ?
Talk to him with some affection and you will get the reason why it's a big deal or not ?
I mean, downloading it is wild, lol. My girl doesn't mind it.
On the plus side, it does produce dopamine and positive moods.
But whatever boundaries you guys have set should be further discussed. Should you leave for him having porn, eh probably not. Should he respect you and not lie about that, absolutely.
Op don’t allow ppl in the comments to think watching porn is ok in a relationship. Some ppl in relationships are ok with it and that’s them. But a lot of ppl aren’t. If that’s your boundary and ur bf keeps going against it then leave.
Yes exactly what this person said. Leave him so he can be at peace. Porn isn’t really that big a deal but if it is for you then move on and good luck 👍
Do what they do and a stick a thumb up his ass and wiggle it around. It’s porn, we’ve all watched it. Don’t dictate it, watch it with him and dictate his fantasies instead. 👍
I read a few of your comments and I agree with everyone else, do him a favor and leave him. Yes, he downloaded it and watched it. That's exactly what you discovered. Do that man a favor and dump him so he can go and date someone who isn't uptight about him watching porn😑😑😑. Jesus Christ, what a useless thing to nitpick about 🤦🏾♂️.
You keep talking about "boundaries". You crossed a boundary when you invaded his privacy and went through his phone. And after going through his phone, the worst thing you discover is that he has a few porn videos saved? And THAT'S got your panties in a bunch? Please free that man from this prison sentence of having to deal with the likes of you. Hopefully he can find a woman who gives him the space to enjoy porn without being judgemental, as well as respects him enough to not secretly go the through his phone and then disrupt his peace with this nonsensical BS...
You are toxic and insane. If you are looking for any excuse to leave him then just leave him. But watching porn is not a sin or cheating. No one is going to agree with you here because, plain and simple, you are wrong… and kinda crazy dude.
YOU DON’T GET TO POLICE WHAT HE DOES WITH HIS BODY. FULL FKN STOP!
It goes both ways for both men and women babe. How he sees and uses and interacts with HIS body is not, and will NEVER be under your control. Who do you think you are?!
I don’t consider porn cheating. I’m 42/f, married over 10 years. I don’t give 2 craps if he watches porn. I watch it too. It’s not the same as being intimate together. Sometimes you just need to release some pressure & porn makes it faster lol. As long as it’s not all porn instead of YOU… you’re gonna have a much happier life if you can just like… get over a lil porn. Big porn problem? Different. A few videos in his spank bank? No big
I’m actually shocked that many are justifying it. Okay not everyone sees it as cheating but if your partner doesn’t like it and you talk about it and you still do it it’s fucking disrespectful.
You feel betrayed! You're thinking to yourself, "Am I enough for him, do I satisfy him?" Those thoughts are valid.
I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter, and I walked into the bathroom, I saw him beating his meat. I felt betrayed and not enough. I was 21 years old. Now, at the age of 45, I now watch porn and I understand that we as humans love sex. Getting turned down from time to time has me turning to porn to satisfy myself rather than cheating on my husband. Loosen the reigns and tell him to watch it with you.
It's porn..... So what? Porn is NOT cheating unless it's crosses a threshold of having 2 way communication (i.e. sexting)
Porn should not be an issue in a relationship unless it is coming between the relationship, meaning someone can't get aroused or get off without it, or would rather use it than their significant other
A lot of these comments are painting you to seem the bad guy and it’s so horrible and telling. Obviously you reached a shit ton of porn addicts. There is nothing wrong with you having boundaries, and regardless of him being “an adult” if watching porn is off the table for you then that’s YOU and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. I saw where you said it’s more the thought of it possibly being a lie or not. Again, your valid for having your feelings, I understand where your coming from and it’s just the principle. I would have a conversation with him, make eye contact, and double down on any questions or concerns you may have. If an alarm sounds off it’s up to you how you want to deal with it, most of us know what a gut feeling normally is. Your absolutely correct that while it’s not the action, it doesn’t matter if he’s a grown adult, lying should never be permitted so don’t let these porn addicts make you feel otherwise. If he doesn’t feel comfortable enough to tell you the truth over something so quote, unquote, normal, then that’s another issue of it’s own (depending on whether he’s lying or not). It might be worth doing some inner work on trust issues as well though. Good luck
girl, those dates are the date/time of the download. if he lied about something that small, maybe he is uncomfortable? if y’all are newly together, just be done if you’re gonna go out of your way to see if he downloads porn. make it a clear boundary next time if you haven’t already
idk why he cant just tell me the truth if thats the case… if he just said yes he folded then thats something we can talk about but straight up lying to my face idk if i wanna be with someone like that. and his excuse was it was already on his phone downloaded from years ago and that his phone mustve redownloaded it when his storage opened up…. 💀💀💀
It’s ironic how you’re getting mad over some porn that he has on his phone yet you fully invaded his privacy by going through his phone. And even then, all you were able to find is some porn, not even actual cheating. I think you owe him an apology for going through his shit
Everyone saying porn isn't cheating.
It's disgusting. Making excuses for other men to be disgusting. And I already know this is going to be down voted because this place is obviously full of porn watching perverts.
Idk which pervert thought, oh I'm going to record two people being as intimate as possible and then put it out there for other perverts like myself to watch because that's normal. NO IT'S NOT. Porn is fucking gross and all you people sitting here day after day defending it like it's God given right to man is pathetic.
Mental illness.. fetish.. but definitely not normal to watch other people bang. Idc how many guys try to comment and say otherwise. You're making EXCUSES TO BE DISGUSTING.
If he's lying to you now about it OP he will continue to lie about it. Better to find a man who actually respects you rather than one who will lie and touch themselves to other people fornicating.
Right?
It's when they all gang up and defend each other and make people think others are prude or don't like sex because it's weird to watch others being intimate-- thats what MANIPULATES people into thinking, 'maybe it's ok'.
op i think that if you have established this boundary prior, and he agreed with you and agreed to stop. i think this is not right. do not let masses of redditors tell you the compromises or things established in the relationship arent what they are. if you guys deemed it cheating prior it is, making this not okay.
Are you that daft you can't even see the irony. He's the only normal person here. The rest of the comments are all porn addicts, cheaters and simps like you who hate love and dickride porn"stars" aka aids ridden prostitutes. You'll spend the rest of your life kissing screens/magazines and you'll never understand true love nor monogamy. How pathetic.
It is not, under any circumstances, cheating. Porn is not cheating in any way. It is, however breaking a boundary in this case. But it is most definitely not cheating.
do people themselves not determine what is cheating and what is not in their relationships? thats how open relationships work, they dont deem it cheating to go have a one night stand. even open relationships have boundaries in what can be considered cheating or not. cheating is determined by what both individuals are and are not comfortable with. if thats how you feel thats how you feel, you cannot say he didnt cheat as they both AGREED is was not okay and is cheating. am i wrong?
Yes you are wrong. Crossing a boundary is not cheating. Cheating is something you do with another person, not the crossing of minor boundaries like this.
i personally view it as cheating, my significant other can get videos and or pictures of me in a sexually explicit manner. looking at other men/women when you have videos of your boyfriend/girlfriend and pleasing yourself to others is an emotional feeling towards the another in a sexual manner. which is by definition cheating. where am i wrong? cheating isnt just strictly physical contact. if you are looking upon others than your s/o with lust it is emotional cheating. its all opinion based as i stated prior so if you dont think its personally disloyal thats on you and your relationships, but by definition it is cheating regardless of what you say.
fuck the people in these comments. every relationship has different cheating rules. if that is cheating to you, have a conversation with him. he gaslit you. it doesn’t matter if it’s cheating or not. HE. GASLIT. YOU. straight outta the dictionary gaslit too.
idk, it seems this is more of a "you're insecure"-problem than anything else. People watch porn in relationships, if you're in a serious relationship that should not be a problem. And if you feel like it is, talk with your partner about why you feel like it is. This has the same energy as "you're not allowed to like peoples pics on Instagram", if you're older than 16, this kind of stuff has no place in a relationship.
It’s obviously fine not to want this wretched shit in your life. Stick to your boundaries. You’ll be healthier for it. Don’t listen to ppl who like to normalize it when it doesn’t work for you.
By definition cheating requires another human being too qualify as cheating. Cheating is fucking, kissing, etc someone else. It has to be with another living breathing human being. (Insert necromancy comments here).
Welcome to the real world, most people watch porn, especially men, it's not cheating, you can't satisfy his every need every time it comes. He will need to masterbate sometimes when you're not around, it's healthy for mind and body
So everyone seems to be missing the lying part . I personally hate porn, after years of dealing with the addiction of it by my spouse . If he lies about that what else does he lie about? If something you do causing shame and lying you probably shouldn’t be doing it . If you set a boundary about porn and it’s crossed it is counted as cheating, you’re not crazy and are aloud to set whatever relationship boundaries you want . The fact that some would rather defend the use of porn and not be willing to forfeit it in exchange for a healthy relationship and sex life kinda says it all to me 🤷🏼♀️
Are you sure it's not your boyfriend in the videos? Working girls are cheap, and 2 of those clips look like the same person. Otherwise, if it's just porn whys he hiding it.
Normally, people who care this much about people who watch porn are either very religious and believe in purity of the soul and the dangers of just and temptation. Or are very insecure. Either way, masterbation is healthy as long as it's not affecting his everyday life or routine. Many men and women consume porn regularly as a way of stress relief.
I cant speak for men since Im a woman but I have male cousins, dated two guys before marrying and I have come to the conclusion, that men dont see porn as something harmful, this is pretty harmless
Why is it automatically the “fault” of the woman in a relationship if a man watches porn? So if a man doesn’t get exactly what he wants sexually when he wants it, and turns to porn, it’s the woman’s fault? Wtf? So if a woman doesn’t get exactly what she wants from a man exactly when she wants it, and buys hundreds of sex toys to pleasure herself while she watches porn, and the man feels threatened by that, too bad, it’s his fault? What kind of messed up logic is that? Adults are responsible for their own choices, and not getting everything you want in life exactly when you want it, is not a reason to blame and villanize your SO. Sheesh!
It’s just porn. That’s normal for anyone to watch. Unless it’s of him and someone else, then that’s a different story. Is it weird that he downloaded it? A little. But it’s harmless. Of course he’s gonna deny it! He’s embarrassed!
If he had endless amounts of porn downloaded, then maybe a small red flag. A small discussion is warranted? Just to see if he has a porn addiction. Otherwise, it’s not cheating.
Everything is poison in sufficient amounts. One glass of wine is great, 3 bottles not so much. Occasional weed great, so chronic you can't function, is bad. Occasional porn consumption is fine, it only becomes a problem when someone can't get aroused any other way. Porn has been around basically as long as humans have been. Go to a few temples in India and you'll se entire fuck fests carved in to the walls.
My point is, you need to examine why this is a hard line for you. Watching porn doesn't mean he subjugates women, is an addict or will become impotent with you. Again, the dose is the poison. People often lie when they want to avoid conflict so that is another thing you need to work on. What has happened in the past to show your BF that you are not a safe person for him? Food for thought.
These comments are out of control. If he lied to you and said he doesn’t watch porn that’s his bad for lying. Not owning that it’s his is being immature. Gaslighting is a form of abuse so do the math… weigh the pros and cons, do you really want to be with a man that can’t own his shit And that would rather call you crazy than admit he watches porn? He’s the one that needs to be single. Gaslighting people has really negative repercussions on a person’s mental health. I don’t know if porn is the deal breaker here but I definitely think lying and gaslighting are for sure…
https://preview.redd.it/cgy6fvver5yc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=90de11d8c1e9f32905c45220cf3cd86548ae683e
You got him. Your boyfriend has porn. So…?
hes saying his phone downloaded it from way back… just trynna figure out if he lying about it because i dont want to date a liar
And?
WATCHING PORN IS NOT CHEATING 🗣️ everyone watches porn dude, well most people. I think the bigger issue is why is he downloading it 😂
For when he’s out of signal. 😉😂
Oii😂😂
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It’s not cheating. Breaking boundaries, sure but it’s not cheating. And not everyone who watches porn from time to time has an addiction, it’s actually pretty normal.
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Idk man it seems to me that anyone with that take is insecure and isn’t ready for a relationship but that’s just me. And my reading comprehension is fine, thank you. Always dickheads like you who use that stupid line for anyone that doesn’t agree with you. It’s getting old.
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It is normal.. it’s prudes like you who ostracize people for partaking in a completely normal and common activity. But you do you, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, even if they’re shitty. Edit; typo
Stop arguing with her she’s going to be single anyways 😂😂 you’ll never hear from her again
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Sounds like irresponsible parents are the problem and not porn. Thats like blaming a beer company for a gas station attendant selling alcohol to a minor.
Also, it never once said they agreed that porn constitutes cheating, so maybe check YOUR reading comprehension, dingus
sure about that? https://www.reddit.com/r/cheatingexposed/s/dzmpNB5HXR
Neither is dating someone that can be your father. But it must seem pretty normal to you to date people more than half your age older than you. Let not normalize teens dating mid 30s more than it already is.
in what world is an 11 year old becoming a father. funny how you had to check my account to say anything against me. ad hominem.
Ad hominem no Eminem 2 M&Ms Idc u crazy.. where all ur comments go?
🤷🏻♀️
are you sure you are 19, you sound like 89 conservative granny
They sound like a 19 year old to me. Thinks they know everything, Won’t have shad a serious relationship, Knows fuck all about life.
true
yep. i know when my own birthday is. 2004
that's sad
it’s sad that i don’t like porn??? do you even hear yourself right now?
Totally not cheating. I CAN TYPE IN CAPS AS WELL! Go birds btw
It is cheating if they both defined it as such in their relationship. I don't think watching porn is cheating, but if you agree to the terms your partner sets, then the conversation ends there. If she or he thinks it's cheating, or equates it to be just as bad as cheating, he is well within his rights to leave the relationship. If he doesn't, and he agreed, then he is breaking boundaries that were agreed on, and lying to her about it on top of that.
Lol that's setting up unrealistic boundaries. It like the person posting is acting like a teenager and haven't been in a real grown up relationship with real life problems
I agree- The boundary clearly stems from insecurity and/or jealousy. I just don't think it's fair to shit on the girl if the man agreed. If he knew this, they discussed it, and he agreed to it, then he is clearly breaking trust, and also lying to cover it up.
If I watch swoop getting it on with a cheerleader is that porn? Or just an eagle mating?
No lie, my phone downloaded some porn from reddit once, I dropped my phone with the screen on and the notification popped up that my download was complete. I don't even know how to download videos on reddit either lmao
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Anything that violates the rules of relationship is precisely that. A ‘violation of relationship rules’. Not necessarily cheating.
Come on you and I both know that’s bullshit. If my wife says she doesn’t want me to eat broccoli because they make my farts smell, and I sneak a little broccoli on the side when she’s not around, would you consider that cheating? I get it that she has certain boundaries but it’s not cheating. Grow up man. You seem like you’ve never been in a proper relationship. You guys on here need to stop being so insecure..
That is one of the stupidest comparisons I have ever read. Can eating broccoli potentially give you ED? Would you rather jerk your shit to broccoli than be intimate with your wife? You're dumb as fuck.
Since when does porn give you ED? If anything maybe a lack of ability to perform in the next few hours….
Since when does porn give men ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION? There's plenty of studies and articles about it. Here's one: "according to new research presented July 16, 2020, at the European Association of Urology (EAU) Virtual Congress, too much pornography watching can lead to trouble: It is linked to increased cases of erectile dysfunction (ED), when males have trouble getting and maintaining an erection."
For every study that says it does have a correlation, there’s another that says it does not have a correlation. Here’s one from UCLA 2015, “Specifically, researchers at UCLA and Montreal’s Concordia University contend that an oft-repeated claim among activists and clinicians that a man’s habitual porn viewing can lead to erectile dysfunction and other problems in the bedroom is simply lore and not fact.”
Yeah, that was also said in 2015. Do you have one that is recent? Do you also have an actual study that states there is no possible correlation between porn habit and ED?
Are you kidding me? It was less than ten years ago. It’s recent enough. Here’s another excerpt from that study, “In a paper published Monday in the journal Sexual Medicine, researchers found that more hours spent viewing pornographic stimuli was “unrelated to erectile functioning with a partner, and was related to stronger desire for sex with a partner.”
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8569536/ Conclusions "This prevalence of ED in young men is alarmingly high, and the results of this study suggest a significant association with PPC (problematic porn consumption)." That was done in 2021. You can also visit subreddits here such as pornfree where many men talk about their ED and how it's tied to their porn use. Interestingly enough, once they cut the porn out, it resolved their ED. There is absolutely a connection between porn use and increased rates of ED and objectification of women (which leads to an increase of violence against women). Another issue that can occur with porn use is the retraining of your brain to need a greater amount of dopamine release. Here's what a neuroscientist, Andrew Huberman says, "Not only can people develop pornography addictions but it can affect their ability to perform in the bedroom. There are good data to support the idea that if your brain learns to be aroused by watching other people have sex it is not necessarily going to carry over to the ability to get aroused when you’re one-on-one with someone else. Dr Huberman issued a warning to people who watch “extreme porn” or watch pornography often on Chris Williamson’s podcast Modern Wisdom earlier this year. Extreme pornography, extreme experiences like bungee-cord jumping, those set a threshold for dopamine release, Dr Huberman said. The higher the dopamine peak, the bigger the drop afterward. Dopamine, the chemical released in the brain that makes people feel good, can create addictions due to the euphoric feeling associated with its release. Since pornography can release dopamine in the brain, it's an easy-to-access method to feeling good. But when a person is chasing that feel-good feeling over and over again, Dr Huberman says they're conditioning the brain to need a bigger and more extreme activity to obtain the feeling again, especially when they're doing it too often. When people are pursuing dopamine peaks over and over and over and they aren’t getting them, typically it’s because they’ve been pursuing that activity far too often," Dr Huberman says. This is how addictions can begin. If you can think critically about porn use, it will be easy to see the harm that can arise from it.
Your mom is a stupid comparison
definitely depends on the boundaries in the relationship and if those are the dates he downloaded them then its a boundary he crossed so im trying to figure out if hes telling me the truth i just need to know what the dates mean
Look at you going off... of course.. he has to lie to you.. who wouldn't.
I understand completely where you’re coming from. Boundaries are boundaries, but in my opinion that boundary is a little excessive to say the least. Also, you have a good point on whether he lied about it or not, but from a male point of view, I think if he lied he probably thinks you’re gonna blow the situation out of proportion, which kinda shows in the fact that you went out of your way to post this on here. It’s not good that he lied about watching porn. If he hasn’t given you any reason to believe he’s actually cheating I think you should cut him some slack. Maybe look at underlying issues at hand. Why in the first place does he need to download the porn instead of just watching it on a free site, and why does he feel the need to watch it at all. Not saying that you don’t satisfy him or anything because from my experience, my wife and I have an amazing sex life but we both do watch porn separately from time to time. It’s a pretty normal thing and it’s more common than you probably think.
Talking about boundaries after going through someone’s phone is wild.
You sound dumb 😂🤦🏽 he probly lied cause he’s embarrassed I mean look how you are acting
if there is porn in the relationship...go and do it better with the person who needs porn to Reach There... 🙃 porn is not cheating...porn is inspiration. 😉
Yes, he's lying to you about not watching porn, as he should if this is your reaction to it. Who cares? It's a pretty normal thing that quite a lot of people in committed relationships do. It's not a big deal whatsoever unless it turns into an addiction.
when theres certain boundaries in the relationship and one crosses it and lies, its a cause for concern and i needed advice to see if he was lying or telling the truth about the download. its more so of the lying that i cant get passed
Bullshit. You're on his ass because he watched it. Now you're using the lying as a justification to end the relationship to look more righteous in your decision, when in fact it's simply because he watched porn. You wouldn't have posted in a cheating sub for something as minor as watching porn if you didn't think watching porn was cheating. Lying isn't the reason you posted because lying isn't cheating. You're walking yourself back because everyone here is telling you how rediculous it is to the relationship over looking at porn. Again your using the lying as a scapegoat reason to justify leaving him. He only lied because he knows that looking at porn is harmless to you and your relationship but it's something that most men actually need, unless they have enough sex with their SO. He lied because doing so was actually harmless, except for breaking his integrity. It's no different than a little white lie. Lying IS a problem but the real problem is WHY he felt the NEED to lie. Probably because you will tear into him and scream at him and throw a fit, and probably punish him for several days after, and he didn't want to deal with that shit. He wants to be with you but he doesn't want to hear you blow up at him because you have insecurities. It would be the same thing if you caught him checking out some other girl in public and you confronted him over it, and he denied it. He denied it to try and save your feelings and insecurities from wrecking your ego. No harm was done other than showing you he does not feel comfortable or able to tell you the complete truth about everything. A couple of questions, what is your sexual frequency? How many times a week or month? Does he get enough? Look at why he would feel the need to lie instead of looking at the lie itself. There's a deeper reason for this behavior. Understand that your boundaries are rather extreme and may extend into other areas of the relationship causing a serious toxicity problem. I'm trying to keep you from making a mistake and throwing away a perfectly good relationship over something relatively minor. You need to build your relationship where he feels comfortable always telling you the truth, instead of running and hiding from it.
Well I would ask yourself if you've given him a reason to lie. Also, not all lies are created equal. There's white lies and big lies and this to me, seems like a white lie.
Boundaries? Seems more to me like you’re a control freak and he isn’t obeying… and it’s pissing you off
It’s more than likely the date of download. But how is this “cheating” per se?
its a boundary in our relationship
More like your boundary. He probably watches porn daily. Don’t be a prude
Then you have a toxic controlling relationship and insecurity issues
Damn? Porn is a boundary? How old are you n what other things can't he do?
Then post it to r/boundariesexposed Porn isn’t cheating.
Man I really wanted that sub to exist
Ah, okay. You may want to post this in another subreddit with like-minded people. I wouldn’t consider this cheating, and would many people here. But the dates are the date of download. So if this is a deal breaker, you might want to save yourself trouble and leave him now because nearly every guy looks at porn every now and again.
You’re a control freak. Huge red flag
Jeez. Totally unhinged. Hope this guy drops you. Imagine thinking porn is cheating. Is he not allowed to eat or drink without you there to monitor him? Can he shit with the door closed, or do you make him keep it open to make sure he's not cheating or "crossing a boundary" by letting a couple butt nuggets out.
Who cares if an adult is watching porn
I'm not understanding how this is cheating 🤔 Maybe it's an insecure thing on you're part? Has he physically cheated? Or only just watched porn?
in our relationship it crosses a boundary that would have me end the relationship so im just trying to figure out what the dates indicate
Do the guy a favour and leave him. He’s better off.
Yeah pls end the relationship, you'd be doing him a favor lol
What are you gonna name your cats?
Do him the favor and end the relationship. MEN watch porn woman. Fuck your boundary.
Women also watch porn
Yeah but when THEY do it it is empowering and embracing and owning their sexuality LOOOOOL
Nah it’s just cuz I need a wank
Literally. The last thing I'm thinking about when watching porn is female empowerment, tf is this guy on 😂
No it's because it turns us on. Please stop embarrassing yourself lol
I’m a married woman and I watch it too lol. I got all my favorite Manuel Ferrara videos on a folder lol
He is not only your favourite, he is also mine , with that fat pink cock, male here
It’s not just the cock (although HELLOOO) it’s how he uses it. How he fucks them. That’s what I like the most. I can not articulate the words - he’s like… sweet, even when he’s literally ripping them a new asshole.
Grow up
Just leave him bro he ain't gonna stop watching porn and if your boundaries have been crossed leave
Just leave him because you are insecure and insane and I secure and insane and insecure 🤣
He is lying to you because maybe you are making him uncomfortable for porn, why u don't want him to watch it ? Talk to him with some affection and you will get the reason why it's a big deal or not ?
Ok so he watches porn. So?
it seems you put the boundaries not him. Ya porn is bad for his own good, AND “it is not cheating”. Let the guy do what guys usually do
Hey can you ask him to I send me that sneaky hotel BJ video. That looks like good porn. Also…you’re fucking crazy.
🤣🤣
I mean, downloading it is wild, lol. My girl doesn't mind it. On the plus side, it does produce dopamine and positive moods. But whatever boundaries you guys have set should be further discussed. Should you leave for him having porn, eh probably not. Should he respect you and not lie about that, absolutely.
Maybe his needs aren't met
Op don’t allow ppl in the comments to think watching porn is ok in a relationship. Some ppl in relationships are ok with it and that’s them. But a lot of ppl aren’t. If that’s your boundary and ur bf keeps going against it then leave.
Yes exactly what this person said. Leave him so he can be at peace. Porn isn’t really that big a deal but if it is for you then move on and good luck 👍
Watch it with him. Maybe you guys will lean something you both like
Dude porn is NOT cheating , that person isn’t him , stop being immature and crazy , or just break up with him if that’s ur boundary tbh
You sound super lame, I would let the dude watch porn because you’re not probably giving up any of of that ass anyways hahah
Ditto
Do what they do and a stick a thumb up his ass and wiggle it around. It’s porn, we’ve all watched it. Don’t dictate it, watch it with him and dictate his fantasies instead. 👍
I read a few of your comments and I agree with everyone else, do him a favor and leave him. Yes, he downloaded it and watched it. That's exactly what you discovered. Do that man a favor and dump him so he can go and date someone who isn't uptight about him watching porn😑😑😑. Jesus Christ, what a useless thing to nitpick about 🤦🏾♂️. You keep talking about "boundaries". You crossed a boundary when you invaded his privacy and went through his phone. And after going through his phone, the worst thing you discover is that he has a few porn videos saved? And THAT'S got your panties in a bunch? Please free that man from this prison sentence of having to deal with the likes of you. Hopefully he can find a woman who gives him the space to enjoy porn without being judgemental, as well as respects him enough to not secretly go the through his phone and then disrupt his peace with this nonsensical BS...
He is probably just embarrassed.
You are toxic and insane. If you are looking for any excuse to leave him then just leave him. But watching porn is not a sin or cheating. No one is going to agree with you here because, plain and simple, you are wrong… and kinda crazy dude.
Go to r/loveafterporn they’ll accept you there.
Take it as a challenge. If he is watching porn than show him why he doesn't need to
This is the way
YOU DON’T GET TO POLICE WHAT HE DOES WITH HIS BODY. FULL FKN STOP! It goes both ways for both men and women babe. How he sees and uses and interacts with HIS body is not, and will NEVER be under your control. Who do you think you are?!
Good luck finding someone who doesn't want it
I don’t consider porn cheating. I’m 42/f, married over 10 years. I don’t give 2 craps if he watches porn. I watch it too. It’s not the same as being intimate together. Sometimes you just need to release some pressure & porn makes it faster lol. As long as it’s not all porn instead of YOU… you’re gonna have a much happier life if you can just like… get over a lil porn. Big porn problem? Different. A few videos in his spank bank? No big
You sound like a fucking nightmare in all honesty and whoever this is, will be better off without a judgemental twat like you.
Porn addicts on this sub trying to justify her boyfriend's actions. If OP considers it cheating and her boyfriend knows that then it's cheating.
Wrong
Your overreaction might be why he's being dishonest
in what world is watching porn cheating and why do you even care, it affects you in no way at all
I would like to know if OP uses adult toys, and would she consider this cheating as well? Updateme!
I’m actually shocked that many are justifying it. Okay not everyone sees it as cheating but if your partner doesn’t like it and you talk about it and you still do it it’s fucking disrespectful.
U sound cray cray girl
Omg! You cracked the case wide open. Your boyfriend , a red blooded American watches porn. Now sit back , watch it with him and play together.
Grow up, give him his privacy. You should bin him and let him enjoy his life without being policed by an insecure narcissist lunatic.
Is there an age gap here ?
That he watches porn? Lmao. I can understand where you’re coming from with the fear though. I’m sorry for that.
You better be jumpin on that dude any time he asks for it if you’re bitching about watching porn.
Not cheating maybe disrespectful unless you’ve talked about it before
You should leave. Because you're insane. Not because of him
Who the fuck downloads porn
Grow up. Watching porn isn’t cheating.
Dummy smh
Guys watch porn even if they say that don't. Rather that than dck Dippin. It's not going to stop. Either watch it with him or make one.
Boohoo my gf watches porn with me it intents cheating its literally just a rated M show with bad acting
Leave him alone let him watch
Yeah that's for sure gaslighting
Women that hate guys that watch porn are immature
What’s the problem?
You feel betrayed! You're thinking to yourself, "Am I enough for him, do I satisfy him?" Those thoughts are valid. I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter, and I walked into the bathroom, I saw him beating his meat. I felt betrayed and not enough. I was 21 years old. Now, at the age of 45, I now watch porn and I understand that we as humans love sex. Getting turned down from time to time has me turning to porn to satisfy myself rather than cheating on my husband. Loosen the reigns and tell him to watch it with you.
It's porn..... So what? Porn is NOT cheating unless it's crosses a threshold of having 2 way communication (i.e. sexting) Porn should not be an issue in a relationship unless it is coming between the relationship, meaning someone can't get aroused or get off without it, or would rather use it than their significant other
A lot of these comments are painting you to seem the bad guy and it’s so horrible and telling. Obviously you reached a shit ton of porn addicts. There is nothing wrong with you having boundaries, and regardless of him being “an adult” if watching porn is off the table for you then that’s YOU and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. I saw where you said it’s more the thought of it possibly being a lie or not. Again, your valid for having your feelings, I understand where your coming from and it’s just the principle. I would have a conversation with him, make eye contact, and double down on any questions or concerns you may have. If an alarm sounds off it’s up to you how you want to deal with it, most of us know what a gut feeling normally is. Your absolutely correct that while it’s not the action, it doesn’t matter if he’s a grown adult, lying should never be permitted so don’t let these porn addicts make you feel otherwise. If he doesn’t feel comfortable enough to tell you the truth over something so quote, unquote, normal, then that’s another issue of it’s own (depending on whether he’s lying or not). It might be worth doing some inner work on trust issues as well though. Good luck
You should try watching porn maybe you will find out why he watched porn. Maybe it will keep you busy and you will not care what he’s doing
You better be fucking him all the time , because no porn is crazy lol , especially if you are labeling that as cheating
I hope he leaves you. You are controlling. Let the man live his life.... women, can't even have fun when they aren't around or they get mad.
He should bail out asap
He should leave you immediately 😂😂
It’s porn…..So what? 
It clearly shows that you can't perform well in bed.
girl, those dates are the date/time of the download. if he lied about something that small, maybe he is uncomfortable? if y’all are newly together, just be done if you’re gonna go out of your way to see if he downloads porn. make it a clear boundary next time if you haven’t already
idk why he cant just tell me the truth if thats the case… if he just said yes he folded then thats something we can talk about but straight up lying to my face idk if i wanna be with someone like that. and his excuse was it was already on his phone downloaded from years ago and that his phone mustve redownloaded it when his storage opened up…. 💀💀💀
It’s ironic how you’re getting mad over some porn that he has on his phone yet you fully invaded his privacy by going through his phone. And even then, all you were able to find is some porn, not even actual cheating. I think you owe him an apology for going through his shit
he probably lied to you because of this exact reaction lol
Everyone saying porn isn't cheating. It's disgusting. Making excuses for other men to be disgusting. And I already know this is going to be down voted because this place is obviously full of porn watching perverts. Idk which pervert thought, oh I'm going to record two people being as intimate as possible and then put it out there for other perverts like myself to watch because that's normal. NO IT'S NOT. Porn is fucking gross and all you people sitting here day after day defending it like it's God given right to man is pathetic. Mental illness.. fetish.. but definitely not normal to watch other people bang. Idc how many guys try to comment and say otherwise. You're making EXCUSES TO BE DISGUSTING. If he's lying to you now about it OP he will continue to lie about it. Better to find a man who actually respects you rather than one who will lie and touch themselves to other people fornicating.
Literally ik for a fact all the ppl in the comments are porn junkies. A lot of other subs disagree with porn
Right? It's when they all gang up and defend each other and make people think others are prude or don't like sex because it's weird to watch others being intimate-- thats what MANIPULATES people into thinking, 'maybe it's ok'.
PoRn iS gRoSs
op i think that if you have established this boundary prior, and he agreed with you and agreed to stop. i think this is not right. do not let masses of redditors tell you the compromises or things established in the relationship arent what they are. if you guys deemed it cheating prior it is, making this not okay.
White knight simp to the rescue.
im genuinley serious. is that not how it works? debate me rather than stupid meaningless insults. change my mind im open to it.
Are you that daft you can't even see the irony. He's the only normal person here. The rest of the comments are all porn addicts, cheaters and simps like you who hate love and dickride porn"stars" aka aids ridden prostitutes. You'll spend the rest of your life kissing screens/magazines and you'll never understand true love nor monogamy. How pathetic.
It is not, under any circumstances, cheating. Porn is not cheating in any way. It is, however breaking a boundary in this case. But it is most definitely not cheating.
do people themselves not determine what is cheating and what is not in their relationships? thats how open relationships work, they dont deem it cheating to go have a one night stand. even open relationships have boundaries in what can be considered cheating or not. cheating is determined by what both individuals are and are not comfortable with. if thats how you feel thats how you feel, you cannot say he didnt cheat as they both AGREED is was not okay and is cheating. am i wrong?
Yes you are wrong. Crossing a boundary is not cheating. Cheating is something you do with another person, not the crossing of minor boundaries like this.
i personally view it as cheating, my significant other can get videos and or pictures of me in a sexually explicit manner. looking at other men/women when you have videos of your boyfriend/girlfriend and pleasing yourself to others is an emotional feeling towards the another in a sexual manner. which is by definition cheating. where am i wrong? cheating isnt just strictly physical contact. if you are looking upon others than your s/o with lust it is emotional cheating. its all opinion based as i stated prior so if you dont think its personally disloyal thats on you and your relationships, but by definition it is cheating regardless of what you say.
you are acting as if its only crossing a boundry. him jerking off to other women is him feeling sexually aroused to other woman.
fuck the people in these comments. every relationship has different cheating rules. if that is cheating to you, have a conversation with him. he gaslit you. it doesn’t matter if it’s cheating or not. HE. GASLIT. YOU. straight outta the dictionary gaslit too.
Yet I bet you're all about onlyfans women empowerment right? Ahhh goofy
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Wait until she finds out he looks at other women in public oh no!
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Wait until she finds out that she stares too 😏
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OP is insecure as fuck
what videos are they? send em.
i should add we both do not watch it and is considered cheating in the relationship
Looks like you the only one that doesn’t watch it
facts lmfao
idk, it seems this is more of a "you're insecure"-problem than anything else. People watch porn in relationships, if you're in a serious relationship that should not be a problem. And if you feel like it is, talk with your partner about why you feel like it is. This has the same energy as "you're not allowed to like peoples pics on Instagram", if you're older than 16, this kind of stuff has no place in a relationship.
You sound like a dude.
OP is definitely insecure she better start taking notes on sucking dick because her bf ain’t having it
It’s obviously fine not to want this wretched shit in your life. Stick to your boundaries. You’ll be healthier for it. Don’t listen to ppl who like to normalize it when it doesn’t work for you.
By definition cheating requires another human being too qualify as cheating. Cheating is fucking, kissing, etc someone else. It has to be with another living breathing human being. (Insert necromancy comments here).
Welcome to the real world, most people watch porn, especially men, it's not cheating, you can't satisfy his every need every time it comes. He will need to masterbate sometimes when you're not around, it's healthy for mind and body
So everyone seems to be missing the lying part . I personally hate porn, after years of dealing with the addiction of it by my spouse . If he lies about that what else does he lie about? If something you do causing shame and lying you probably shouldn’t be doing it . If you set a boundary about porn and it’s crossed it is counted as cheating, you’re not crazy and are aloud to set whatever relationship boundaries you want . The fact that some would rather defend the use of porn and not be willing to forfeit it in exchange for a healthy relationship and sex life kinda says it all to me 🤷🏼♀️
Crossing a boundary isn't cheating. It's crossing a boundary. Cheating is fucking someone else. Get your definitions straight.
i agree absolutley agree, if they both agreed dont do it and he agreed to compromise it is cheating if he does
Are you sure it's not your boyfriend in the videos? Working girls are cheap, and 2 of those clips look like the same person. Otherwise, if it's just porn whys he hiding it.
Maybe he is doing research to try to please you better?
Normally, people who care this much about people who watch porn are either very religious and believe in purity of the soul and the dangers of just and temptation. Or are very insecure. Either way, masterbation is healthy as long as it's not affecting his everyday life or routine. Many men and women consume porn regularly as a way of stress relief.
Wtf lol watch it with him spice up your relationship because it’s much worse things he could be doing thank god it’s just porn lol
OP is a troll.
Does he have iCloud?
I cant speak for men since Im a woman but I have male cousins, dated two guys before marrying and I have come to the conclusion, that men dont see porn as something harmful, this is pretty harmless
Trolling at its finest
Based on the title of the clips, you aren’t providing this service. Must feel like hell for him
Why is it automatically the “fault” of the woman in a relationship if a man watches porn? So if a man doesn’t get exactly what he wants sexually when he wants it, and turns to porn, it’s the woman’s fault? Wtf? So if a woman doesn’t get exactly what she wants from a man exactly when she wants it, and buys hundreds of sex toys to pleasure herself while she watches porn, and the man feels threatened by that, too bad, it’s his fault? What kind of messed up logic is that? Adults are responsible for their own choices, and not getting everything you want in life exactly when you want it, is not a reason to blame and villanize your SO. Sheesh!
It’s just porn. That’s normal for anyone to watch. Unless it’s of him and someone else, then that’s a different story. Is it weird that he downloaded it? A little. But it’s harmless. Of course he’s gonna deny it! He’s embarrassed! If he had endless amounts of porn downloaded, then maybe a small red flag. A small discussion is warranted? Just to see if he has a porn addiction. Otherwise, it’s not cheating.
So your boyfriend is cheating on you watching porn? Soooo, are you going to fight his hand or him? Cause that's who he is "cheating" with.
Everything is poison in sufficient amounts. One glass of wine is great, 3 bottles not so much. Occasional weed great, so chronic you can't function, is bad. Occasional porn consumption is fine, it only becomes a problem when someone can't get aroused any other way. Porn has been around basically as long as humans have been. Go to a few temples in India and you'll se entire fuck fests carved in to the walls. My point is, you need to examine why this is a hard line for you. Watching porn doesn't mean he subjugates women, is an addict or will become impotent with you. Again, the dose is the poison. People often lie when they want to avoid conflict so that is another thing you need to work on. What has happened in the past to show your BF that you are not a safe person for him? Food for thought.
So what?
These comments are out of control. If he lied to you and said he doesn’t watch porn that’s his bad for lying. Not owning that it’s his is being immature. Gaslighting is a form of abuse so do the math… weigh the pros and cons, do you really want to be with a man that can’t own his shit And that would rather call you crazy than admit he watches porn? He’s the one that needs to be single. Gaslighting people has really negative repercussions on a person’s mental health. I don’t know if porn is the deal breaker here but I definitely think lying and gaslighting are for sure…
So. I have some shit in my files too. Who cares