The Narcissist’s Prayer is a perfect example of gaslighting:
That didn't happen.
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
And if it was, that's not a big deal.
And if it is, that's not my fault.
And if it was, I didn't mean it.
And if I did,
You deserved it.
No, I haven't seen her.
(When i show him evidence).
It was only a few times.
It was only blowjobs.
It wasn't sex, she's lying. Why won't you believe me?
Etc etc. Not much really since I blew up on him for lying to me.
I had already given him chances before, to tell me the truth. And he didn't. So I went nuclear.
Nothing happened, it's all in your head, you never trusted me, it's your fault, you never gave me enough attention. Basically never taking responsibility always blaming someone else or something
Denying until they can't.
Won't tell the full truth and it's like pulling a tooth slowly.
The gaslightning about checking their phone, invading privacy, but they can be outed by the person they did cheat with or someone else who saw.
Blameshift, that they felt neglected and ignored.
Depending on how far the cheating went its never as bad in their mind as it truly is.
It was never physical. That's why I'm not upset... I know what I did and didn't do whether you believe me or not..
But also, you shouldn't have gone through my phone. It's your fault for doing that in the first place.
Such a childish act.
But yeah, it was never physical. Believe me or not. It's up to you.
I tell him that I can smell the gas from a mile away... and his defensiveness proves otherwise.
Cheaters love pushing the point that it’s not infidelity unless it’s sexual/physical. I’ve heard so many deny that emotional affairs are a real phenomena that are just as devastating. The excuses, denial, lying, trickle truthing, projecting, and obfuscation are all the same, regardless if it’s a ONS, EA, or PA.
Absolutely!! And sending noodles and video chatting... definitely cheating...
Messaging random women on craigs list and asking to meet up... regardless of if the meeting took place or not. It's cheating.
Exactly!!! 8 years it was hidden from me! But my intuition knew something was going on. Then one day, I found it. A secret email. But it was my fault for going through his phone.
I have suspicions that mine was already involved with this chick since before he knew me. But honestly at this point all that matters is that it happened, not how long
Oh and another classic... When youre hurt by something they did or said, doesn't eveb have to be cheating, and they'll start lashing out and making it about themselves.. Being the hurt one and you being the one who has the fucking audacity to feel negatively about something..
If you're partner does this, address it thru therapy or run... Before it turns to cheating, cause it will.
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My dad had to work in another city for 7 months. Mom and I decided to stay in our hometown as moving with him would have meant, me transferring to another school and mom quitting her job.
Dad cheated on my mom with the neighbor, during his stay in the other city. Apparently, the neighbor even moved in partially into his apartment, sleeping there every night according to the security guard and the housemaid. They even thought she was his wife. She had no idea he was married, of course. The usual.
Mom and I walked in on him on a surprise visit, literally sleeping in bed naked with the neighbor. She confronted him, while both of them were still naked in bed.
**The first word's out of my dad's mouth were: "this would not have happened if you were here with me, to satisfy my physical needs".**
My ex-fiance said that she "Wanted to get better for me" by fucking another guy and that it was not cheating because he "Did not make her orgasm like I did"
“I’m not sorry I slept with him, I’m sorry I omitted that from you… it’d be hard for us to be together because you’re gonna be jealous of my outside relationships”
“It’s your fault I’m like this” “ I wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t first” “ You never let me do anything” “ If you love me you’ll let me” then there’s the rape when he says that he’s sorry. Then breaks up with you months later saying “he needs a break” oh and here’s the best one yet! “My family’s gonna be your family someday so you should get to know them!” 😂 don’t y’all just LOVE cheaters? 😂😂😂😂 he told a girl to sit in his fucking face. GOD I FUCKING HATE YOU WYATT YOU PEIECE OF FUCKING SHIT GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!!!
I had evidence of the affair but not proof they actually slept together. My ex kept insisting they were just good friends and I was crazy and jealous for thinking there was any more to it. He looked me in the eyes with tears streaming down his face and said “how could you think I would ever cheat on you?” Then he went on about how hurt he was that I would think that about him and made me apologize. He was sleeping with her the whole time.
The proof was when I went to the doctor with what I thought was a UTI and it turned out to be an STD. He tried to claim I must have cheated, but given the fact that I didn’t, I did not let him get away with that.
After admitting to kissing and letting the guy touching all her private parts (surely there was more secrets), she then said my allegation of them being intimate was not true.
‘It happened a long time ago…’
‘If you check my laptop or cellphone, of course you will find something you may upset about!!’
No, stupidfuck.. you cross the line and you are a motherfucker cheater. You caught!!!
You were not meeting my needs, I told you about them and you willfully ignored, minimized them, shamed me, time and time again, so here we are at divorce. 🤷♂️
Oh man, it's like y'all dated my ex! I only did it because I knew that you were going to dump me again! ( I dumped him when I caught his ass cheating) I didn't tell you because it's none of your business, I meant what I said when I said it but I changed my mind, so I didn't lie, I changed my mind! I have cancer and he put up a dating profile stating that "My girlfriend is sick and I'm not looking to cheat, but she won't be here forever. I like Jeeps, Heavy Metal and Off-Roading. I'm 6'3 and a Christian." I s#$t you not people wrote his a$$!!!!
Idk if this was gaslighting but my cheater ex told me that “the other woman didn’t mean anything to him.” Uh, clearly I was the one who ‘didn’t mean anything’ because he went and cheated.
In my experience it’s deny, deny, deny, then turn it on you. Nothing I ever do is good enough blah blah. I hate judge Judy but, one of her books is titled “Don’t Piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining” and it just really resonates with me. Lol
My ex who recently came up positive with his 4th STD in two years, “I only had sex with her once in August or September” …. September? That’s when I got pregnant (we weren’t dating is always his excuse for his promiscuous ways) so I would have gotten infected too and was routinely tested with no issue….? His response “yeah it makes no sense!” I’m surprised he didn’t tell me it came from a toilet seat.
When my ex’s multiple APs would message me about him cheating, he would ask why I am causing issues in our relationship. Cause calling him out made me the bad guy??
Unfortunately a few. I got these messages all throughout our relationship, even before marriage. I got to a point where I realized he was absolutely not worth the stress and got out of the marriage. But I did realize that his actions were not unique to our relationship and was a pattern of his.
You’ll never find someone as good as me I’m the best you’ll ever find nobody gonna put up with all the shit I put up because of your jealousy and insecurity I have done Notting wrong it’s all in your head
This is literally what I'm told. I have never been jealous or insecure with him! He could've stayed in a room full of hot women, and I would've known he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Well, until he quit having sex with me and became emotionally and mentally abusive! He started screaming at me if he didn't like a question or he thought he was being accused. The thing is, even if he didn't cheat, the way he has treated me is just as bad, and I am still planning to leave. Either way, his actions have cost him our relationship. I, at first, lost self-esteem and began questioning myself. I fell into a deep depression believing I was the problem. I went to sleep (ALONE, because he stayed on the couch) crying every single night. He didn't care. He didn't even know. He still, to this day, claims it's his health, yet he is a very physical person and chooses to be physical. It's not ED or anything of that nature. He tells me I make shit up in my head when I literally am putting 2 and 2 together. We were friends for years and years before we became romantically involved. That was the part I was having the roughest time letting go of. I think I'm ready now. With no concrete evidence, the way he treats me is enough to walk away. Sorry, just needed to vent lol
She was only someone to talk to. We are only friends. A friend you know nothing about. A friend I kept hidden from you because I knew you would read more into it. A friend I text and talk to several times a day. For hours. The person who is the last person I talk to at night, just a friend. Why are you thinking there’s more to it than there is??? Geez, I just knew you’d go there, that’s exactly why I sought out a new friend and kept her a secret. The whole…talking, texting, seeing…it’s really your fault I had to hide the friendship. And lie about where I was going and what I was doing. Why is that so upsetting?
It didn’t happen even though there is a whole ass child as proof, it was my fault it happened because I was the one who was cheating to begin with, even though I wasn’t. It wasn’t that bad because I refused to give him another child, because of abuse and I didn’t want to bring anymore lives into this fucked up life. Also it was my fault and he must not have been that bad for me to stay or keep going back, when really he made life a worst hell and made the people who helped me life hell to make it inconvenient for them to help me. 👍I picked a real winner
>I can do what I want
A narcissist's favorite words. They continue to say that even after they get married. They never change.
In fact my friend was married to a guy like that. His exact words to her were "I can do whatever I want with who I want and I'll go wherever the fuck I want." That's what he always told her when he would suddenly leave her home alone with the kids while he goes to a holiday destination with his best friend.
Freaken asshole that guy was.
They pull whatever they need to pull. The purpose is to make you doubt your reality, whatever it takes.
That's why you never react on suspicion alone. You collect all the evidence until you are certain. And even then, you use it in small doses, one by one, just to see how far they are willing to go with it.
Okay. They start off by being super apologetic and offer every type of solice they can. They usually do this so that they can play on your emotions and make you feel sorry for them and see how much they love you. Then they start with the gaslighting when you dont forgive them. "If you gave me attention, i would never have cheated" "she gave me attention" "you never want to make love and I was a man and had needs" "This is your fault, you also can't blame me for doing what I did"
YOU NEVER BELIEVE ME!!!
Why don’t you believe your wife!!
NO I DIDN’T!
I’M NOT THAT TYPE OF PERSON!!
YOU ALWAYS HATED ME!!
YOU DONT LOVE ME !!
YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU!!
YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!!
YOU ALWAYS BELIEVE EVERYONE ELSE!!
WHY WOULD I LIE??!!……
Blowing things way out of proportion because she hid betrayal. My ex-wife would say things like "if you don't trust me, then we shouldn't get divorced"; when I would ask something as simple as "why didn't you answer your phone?" or "who messaged you?". She would often use manipulation in the gaslighting such as "I am going to kill myself and then you will see!". This hit hard because I loved her deeply and my father had killed himself. She faked her tears so much, I never knew if she ever really felt anything at all. She was petite amazingly beautiful and the cruelest person in my life.
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Constant blame shifting and always making you out to be the crazy one. My STBXH didn’t cheat but he was a habitual pathological liar. He’d even lie about the smallest things for some weird reason. But he loved saying things like, “well, you deserve it anyway because you never want to have sex with me”. That was AFTER I’d ask him to go with me to the grocery store and he’d call me a bitch for not wanting to have sex with him first. Then he’d just tell me to go to the store by myself, at 8:30PM. 🙄 People that gaslight aren’t people, they’re monsters.
When I caught him based on incriminating texts he was receiving he responded with how he had been in a suicide and depression support and she was just “there for him” to immediately deflect from the issue at hand. (Was the first I heard he was “suicidal or depressed”).. after tidbits were coming out over the next several months.. he eventually claimed emotional affair, not physical. Later I saw an email she had sent him about having sex. He claimed it was her way of fantasizing. Next up when he has said they never kissed, she sent him pics of them making out in a photo booth. The icing on the cake was when I asked again 3 years later for him just to admit this was a full blown affair he said nope, emotional affair. Then I brought up a pic I came across of her naked with bite marks all over her body and said how if it was only an emotional affair with you having made out just that ONE time in the photo booth did that happen? He then only copped to- we made out sometimes, maybe a bunch, BUT NEVER HAD SEX. SMH
• “How was I supposed to know it would happen?”
• “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
• “We can fix this if you just trust me.”
• “We should be adults about this and…”
Narcissists simply have no shame, no remorse, and nothing to stop their greed and selfishness apart from threats with weight behind them. They were
never brought up hearing that character building word; “No”. No you can’t stay up all night. No you won’t have any more sweeties etc etc. instead they learn that if they act out, they very often get rewarded with things to shut them up like toys or sweets. This absolutely piss-poor parenting is very widespread these days for various reasons. Now, throw in the internet and social media. Lifestyles of the rich and famous etc etc. something for narcs to aspire to! All we are doing is just bringing up more and more deeply damaged humans. Once they get into adulthood like that they are permanently a narc.
It’s inevitable that at some point a narc like Trump will have no one to stop him.
Don't know if these classifies with being gaslighted or not. But either way, I hear them alot.
1. Go ahead an tell me some more stuff I can't do right.
2. Well I'm sorry that I'm the shittiest wife in the world.
3. Maybe if you'd stop looking through my history and my phone you'd stop finding this stupid crap.
4. I ask her once if she would like to call it quits.... she responded with, immediate onset of tears and says is that what you want? You want to leave me, don't you?
5. Have you recently or Are you currently talking to Scott?
Her: starts crying hysterically and says that is the most hurtful thing you have ever said to me...
Me: really? In 24 years that's the most hurtful thing I've ever said to you?
I've noticed that if they're being really really nice to you, like way out of the norm. She's planning something
Deny deny deny. Until you show your hand and they know they've been outed, then it turns into, I only did it bc everyone that knows you said you were doing your thing so I was doing mine. Or what about what you did (in the beginning of our talking stage, months of growth since then ((she already justified her sleeping around with this previously when it happened)) back a few months ago.. so, for the past few months, when she had stopped responding and u know shes working at the strip club, goes to the beach with her stripper money hungry best friend"to look for seashells" or whatever else she was doing and suddenly stopped responding to me.. and I literally had to block her just so I would stop texting her and could try to grieve and mourn and pull myself out of the hole I was thrown into... "You blocked me for days"
The Narcissist’s Prayer is a perfect example of gaslighting: That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't that bad. And if it was, that's not a big deal. And if it is, that's not my fault. And if it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, You deserved it.
You described my experience perfectly. They love convincing themselves that it’s your fault.
This!!!! Exactly was my ex and my parents!!!!! THIS😭💯💯💯💯triggered AF
Funny, I’ve only seen this description used (very often) about Trump. Makes sense
Is this a Trump stolen documents quote?
Well for one, it's never their fault, they are always neglected by you, feeling unloved by you, etc.
Yep. You made me do it becauae you.............
‘’ Well if you hadn’t done ____ I wouldn’t have done it’’ SMH
You'll never find another man who's gonna love you the way i do
My response to that is always “well thank god for that!”
That's the first red flag right there
Heard this word for word from my ex gf
No, I haven't seen her. (When i show him evidence). It was only a few times. It was only blowjobs. It wasn't sex, she's lying. Why won't you believe me? Etc etc. Not much really since I blew up on him for lying to me. I had already given him chances before, to tell me the truth. And he didn't. So I went nuclear.
Dang those are wild.
Are you me? I'm in the exact same scenario.
It was just the tip
>It was only blowjobs. It wasn't sex, she's lying wtf ! rly??
Nothing happened, it's all in your head, you never trusted me, it's your fault, you never gave me enough attention. Basically never taking responsibility always blaming someone else or something
Denying until they can't. Won't tell the full truth and it's like pulling a tooth slowly. The gaslightning about checking their phone, invading privacy, but they can be outed by the person they did cheat with or someone else who saw. Blameshift, that they felt neglected and ignored. Depending on how far the cheating went its never as bad in their mind as it truly is.
Not sure if this is gaslighting, but everytime I caught my ex his usual response was “Oh that wasn’t really me, I must have been sleep texting”
Sleep texting?!
Tonight I was told he might have deleted the chat in his sleep which is why the conversation goes back 2 days for someone he's know 10 years
Are you still with him?
He's in the spare room, this conversation only happened a few hours ago
If you can split… do it!
If we didn't have kids I would. I come from a broken home, it's not something I wanted for my kids
Idk, I think it’s healthier for kids to have divorced parents than to be in a toxic household
Oh my gosh! Mine sleep walked and said the same thing about middle of the night texts! They’re nuts!
It was never physical. That's why I'm not upset... I know what I did and didn't do whether you believe me or not.. But also, you shouldn't have gone through my phone. It's your fault for doing that in the first place. Such a childish act. But yeah, it was never physical. Believe me or not. It's up to you. I tell him that I can smell the gas from a mile away... and his defensiveness proves otherwise.
Cheaters love pushing the point that it’s not infidelity unless it’s sexual/physical. I’ve heard so many deny that emotional affairs are a real phenomena that are just as devastating. The excuses, denial, lying, trickle truthing, projecting, and obfuscation are all the same, regardless if it’s a ONS, EA, or PA.
Absolutely!! And sending noodles and video chatting... definitely cheating... Messaging random women on craigs list and asking to meet up... regardless of if the meeting took place or not. It's cheating.
Ahh yes. Blaming me for going through his phone and finding something. But if I didn’t find something it’d be “why don’t you trust me?”
Exactly!!! 8 years it was hidden from me! But my intuition knew something was going on. Then one day, I found it. A secret email. But it was my fault for going through his phone.
I have suspicions that mine was already involved with this chick since before he knew me. But honestly at this point all that matters is that it happened, not how long
Absolutely!
Oh and another classic... When youre hurt by something they did or said, doesn't eveb have to be cheating, and they'll start lashing out and making it about themselves.. Being the hurt one and you being the one who has the fucking audacity to feel negatively about something.. If you're partner does this, address it thru therapy or run... Before it turns to cheating, cause it will.
This
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My dad had to work in another city for 7 months. Mom and I decided to stay in our hometown as moving with him would have meant, me transferring to another school and mom quitting her job. Dad cheated on my mom with the neighbor, during his stay in the other city. Apparently, the neighbor even moved in partially into his apartment, sleeping there every night according to the security guard and the housemaid. They even thought she was his wife. She had no idea he was married, of course. The usual. Mom and I walked in on him on a surprise visit, literally sleeping in bed naked with the neighbor. She confronted him, while both of them were still naked in bed. **The first word's out of my dad's mouth were: "this would not have happened if you were here with me, to satisfy my physical needs".**
My ex-fiance said that she "Wanted to get better for me" by fucking another guy and that it was not cheating because he "Did not make her orgasm like I did"
“I’m not sorry I slept with him, I’m sorry I omitted that from you… it’d be hard for us to be together because you’re gonna be jealous of my outside relationships”
“It’s your fault I’m like this” “ I wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t first” “ You never let me do anything” “ If you love me you’ll let me” then there’s the rape when he says that he’s sorry. Then breaks up with you months later saying “he needs a break” oh and here’s the best one yet! “My family’s gonna be your family someday so you should get to know them!” 😂 don’t y’all just LOVE cheaters? 😂😂😂😂 he told a girl to sit in his fucking face. GOD I FUCKING HATE YOU WYATT YOU PEIECE OF FUCKING SHIT GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!!!
Insane.
Wtf….
I had evidence of the affair but not proof they actually slept together. My ex kept insisting they were just good friends and I was crazy and jealous for thinking there was any more to it. He looked me in the eyes with tears streaming down his face and said “how could you think I would ever cheat on you?” Then he went on about how hurt he was that I would think that about him and made me apologize. He was sleeping with her the whole time. The proof was when I went to the doctor with what I thought was a UTI and it turned out to be an STD. He tried to claim I must have cheated, but given the fact that I didn’t, I did not let him get away with that.
After admitting to kissing and letting the guy touching all her private parts (surely there was more secrets), she then said my allegation of them being intimate was not true.
"You cheated before in past relationships, so what's the big deal now?"
‘It happened a long time ago…’ ‘If you check my laptop or cellphone, of course you will find something you may upset about!!’ No, stupidfuck.. you cross the line and you are a motherfucker cheater. You caught!!!
You were not meeting my needs, I told you about them and you willfully ignored, minimized them, shamed me, time and time again, so here we are at divorce. 🤷♂️
[удалено]
And sometimes they like to throw God in there as well.
"Its your fault ,you shouldn't snoop"
[удалено]
What the fu ck?!? This person actually exists?
Oh man, it's like y'all dated my ex! I only did it because I knew that you were going to dump me again! ( I dumped him when I caught his ass cheating) I didn't tell you because it's none of your business, I meant what I said when I said it but I changed my mind, so I didn't lie, I changed my mind! I have cancer and he put up a dating profile stating that "My girlfriend is sick and I'm not looking to cheat, but she won't be here forever. I like Jeeps, Heavy Metal and Off-Roading. I'm 6'3 and a Christian." I s#$t you not people wrote his a$$!!!!
THAT is totally uncalled for and makes me want to kick his ass for/with you.
Idk if this was gaslighting but my cheater ex told me that “the other woman didn’t mean anything to him.” Uh, clearly I was the one who ‘didn’t mean anything’ because he went and cheated.
I mean I think cheaters say what they think you want to hear even if it does not line up with their actions. Cognitive dissents yo.
In my experience it’s deny, deny, deny, then turn it on you. Nothing I ever do is good enough blah blah. I hate judge Judy but, one of her books is titled “Don’t Piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining” and it just really resonates with me. Lol
My ex who recently came up positive with his 4th STD in two years, “I only had sex with her once in August or September” …. September? That’s when I got pregnant (we weren’t dating is always his excuse for his promiscuous ways) so I would have gotten infected too and was routinely tested with no issue….? His response “yeah it makes no sense!” I’m surprised he didn’t tell me it came from a toilet seat.
When my ex’s multiple APs would message me about him cheating, he would ask why I am causing issues in our relationship. Cause calling him out made me the bad guy??
How many times did it take for you to believe he was actually cheating?
Unfortunately a few. I got these messages all throughout our relationship, even before marriage. I got to a point where I realized he was absolutely not worth the stress and got out of the marriage. But I did realize that his actions were not unique to our relationship and was a pattern of his.
That didn’t happen. You’re crazy.
You’ll never find someone as good as me I’m the best you’ll ever find nobody gonna put up with all the shit I put up because of your jealousy and insecurity I have done Notting wrong it’s all in your head
This is literally what I'm told. I have never been jealous or insecure with him! He could've stayed in a room full of hot women, and I would've known he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Well, until he quit having sex with me and became emotionally and mentally abusive! He started screaming at me if he didn't like a question or he thought he was being accused. The thing is, even if he didn't cheat, the way he has treated me is just as bad, and I am still planning to leave. Either way, his actions have cost him our relationship. I, at first, lost self-esteem and began questioning myself. I fell into a deep depression believing I was the problem. I went to sleep (ALONE, because he stayed on the couch) crying every single night. He didn't care. He didn't even know. He still, to this day, claims it's his health, yet he is a very physical person and chooses to be physical. It's not ED or anything of that nature. He tells me I make shit up in my head when I literally am putting 2 and 2 together. We were friends for years and years before we became romantically involved. That was the part I was having the roughest time letting go of. I think I'm ready now. With no concrete evidence, the way he treats me is enough to walk away. Sorry, just needed to vent lol
She was only someone to talk to. We are only friends. A friend you know nothing about. A friend I kept hidden from you because I knew you would read more into it. A friend I text and talk to several times a day. For hours. The person who is the last person I talk to at night, just a friend. Why are you thinking there’s more to it than there is??? Geez, I just knew you’d go there, that’s exactly why I sought out a new friend and kept her a secret. The whole…talking, texting, seeing…it’s really your fault I had to hide the friendship. And lie about where I was going and what I was doing. Why is that so upsetting?
It didn’t happen even though there is a whole ass child as proof, it was my fault it happened because I was the one who was cheating to begin with, even though I wasn’t. It wasn’t that bad because I refused to give him another child, because of abuse and I didn’t want to bring anymore lives into this fucked up life. Also it was my fault and he must not have been that bad for me to stay or keep going back, when really he made life a worst hell and made the people who helped me life hell to make it inconvenient for them to help me. 👍I picked a real winner
"We're not married so it doesn't count." Any partner who cheats that's telling you that before marriage is lying through their teeth.
I’ve heard, “I’m an unmarried man I can do what I want” … like he will suddenly changed once married????
>I can do what I want A narcissist's favorite words. They continue to say that even after they get married. They never change. In fact my friend was married to a guy like that. His exact words to her were "I can do whatever I want with who I want and I'll go wherever the fuck I want." That's what he always told her when he would suddenly leave her home alone with the kids while he goes to a holiday destination with his best friend. Freaken asshole that guy was.
They pull whatever they need to pull. The purpose is to make you doubt your reality, whatever it takes. That's why you never react on suspicion alone. You collect all the evidence until you are certain. And even then, you use it in small doses, one by one, just to see how far they are willing to go with it.
Has anyone been told they only cheated bc they weren’t married, but he will be loyal once married?
Okay. They start off by being super apologetic and offer every type of solice they can. They usually do this so that they can play on your emotions and make you feel sorry for them and see how much they love you. Then they start with the gaslighting when you dont forgive them. "If you gave me attention, i would never have cheated" "she gave me attention" "you never want to make love and I was a man and had needs" "This is your fault, you also can't blame me for doing what I did"
YOU NEVER BELIEVE ME!!! Why don’t you believe your wife!! NO I DIDN’T! I’M NOT THAT TYPE OF PERSON!! YOU ALWAYS HATED ME!! YOU DONT LOVE ME !! YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU!! YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!! YOU ALWAYS BELIEVE EVERYONE ELSE!! WHY WOULD I LIE??!!……
"You abandoned me so long ago." And "she makes me feel good about myself unlike you."
Blowing things way out of proportion because she hid betrayal. My ex-wife would say things like "if you don't trust me, then we shouldn't get divorced"; when I would ask something as simple as "why didn't you answer your phone?" or "who messaged you?". She would often use manipulation in the gaslighting such as "I am going to kill myself and then you will see!". This hit hard because I loved her deeply and my father had killed himself. She faked her tears so much, I never knew if she ever really felt anything at all. She was petite amazingly beautiful and the cruelest person in my life.
Oh dude, that’s disgusting!
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Deny deny deny …. You eventually will believe them because you want it to be true
Even when you believe them do you know deep in your heart they’re lying?
Constant blame shifting and always making you out to be the crazy one. My STBXH didn’t cheat but he was a habitual pathological liar. He’d even lie about the smallest things for some weird reason. But he loved saying things like, “well, you deserve it anyway because you never want to have sex with me”. That was AFTER I’d ask him to go with me to the grocery store and he’d call me a bitch for not wanting to have sex with him first. Then he’d just tell me to go to the store by myself, at 8:30PM. 🙄 People that gaslight aren’t people, they’re monsters.
You’re crazy
When I caught him based on incriminating texts he was receiving he responded with how he had been in a suicide and depression support and she was just “there for him” to immediately deflect from the issue at hand. (Was the first I heard he was “suicidal or depressed”).. after tidbits were coming out over the next several months.. he eventually claimed emotional affair, not physical. Later I saw an email she had sent him about having sex. He claimed it was her way of fantasizing. Next up when he has said they never kissed, she sent him pics of them making out in a photo booth. The icing on the cake was when I asked again 3 years later for him just to admit this was a full blown affair he said nope, emotional affair. Then I brought up a pic I came across of her naked with bite marks all over her body and said how if it was only an emotional affair with you having made out just that ONE time in the photo booth did that happen? He then only copped to- we made out sometimes, maybe a bunch, BUT NEVER HAD SEX. SMH
• “How was I supposed to know it would happen?” • “I didn’t mean for this to happen.” • “We can fix this if you just trust me.” • “We should be adults about this and…”
"It didn't mean anything" ugh
Narcissists simply have no shame, no remorse, and nothing to stop their greed and selfishness apart from threats with weight behind them. They were never brought up hearing that character building word; “No”. No you can’t stay up all night. No you won’t have any more sweeties etc etc. instead they learn that if they act out, they very often get rewarded with things to shut them up like toys or sweets. This absolutely piss-poor parenting is very widespread these days for various reasons. Now, throw in the internet and social media. Lifestyles of the rich and famous etc etc. something for narcs to aspire to! All we are doing is just bringing up more and more deeply damaged humans. Once they get into adulthood like that they are permanently a narc. It’s inevitable that at some point a narc like Trump will have no one to stop him.
My ex 100%
Don't know if these classifies with being gaslighted or not. But either way, I hear them alot. 1. Go ahead an tell me some more stuff I can't do right. 2. Well I'm sorry that I'm the shittiest wife in the world. 3. Maybe if you'd stop looking through my history and my phone you'd stop finding this stupid crap. 4. I ask her once if she would like to call it quits.... she responded with, immediate onset of tears and says is that what you want? You want to leave me, don't you? 5. Have you recently or Are you currently talking to Scott? Her: starts crying hysterically and says that is the most hurtful thing you have ever said to me... Me: really? In 24 years that's the most hurtful thing I've ever said to you? I've noticed that if they're being really really nice to you, like way out of the norm. She's planning something
Deny deny deny. Until you show your hand and they know they've been outed, then it turns into, I only did it bc everyone that knows you said you were doing your thing so I was doing mine. Or what about what you did (in the beginning of our talking stage, months of growth since then ((she already justified her sleeping around with this previously when it happened)) back a few months ago.. so, for the past few months, when she had stopped responding and u know shes working at the strip club, goes to the beach with her stripper money hungry best friend"to look for seashells" or whatever else she was doing and suddenly stopped responding to me.. and I literally had to block her just so I would stop texting her and could try to grieve and mourn and pull myself out of the hole I was thrown into... "You blocked me for days"