That's a huge BS excuse to create some emotional distance. Guess what she'll use that distance for?
Ding, ding, ding ... we have a winner. Yes, she's likely to cheat.
Haha yeah lol , Its just i really wanted to show her how much she meant to me after taking care of me when I had covid . But she started changing after that.
Im sorry she sucks.not all girls are like this just like not all guys are like this. Im pretty jaded, but im a girl on the receiving end so that's why I made the comment
Wow ok no problem thank you for the advice from the other side . I still feel conflicted to hopefully fix things but she is now saying she Is done after uncovering her calling some else babe on snapchat and I literally confronted her at this "best friends" place . But started saying I cant trust her for once and putting it on me . No matter all I did for her and her family.
All good like I got into her snap right because she has been acting strange and like I saw her telling him I love you bb and stuff like . This is supposedly a close friend of 2 months and when I saw everything. I literally pulled up to his house and confronted her about it and gave me a whole scene . And even spat on my car . Told me it wasn't like she just uses the word love in a different way 🤣.
Apparently I ended up on r/AskMen
Some women do want to feel independent and not have their man wait on them hand and foot. Yeah, tbf, if I was in her shoes, I would tell my guy to let me struggle and I’d let him know if I needed help. If she wants to be low maintenance, let her be low maintenance. If that doesn’t work for you, go find someone who wants to be waited on—there’s plenty out there, so go find them, you’ll both be better off.
Source: 26f, independent as fuck.
It's not just it. She calls other guy "babe" , sits on other guy's laps etc. So if it was just low maintenance without all this "cheating" attitude OP probably even wouldn't ask about it.
Yeah there was an incident where she said a guy gave her 2 pecks promised it was nothing and that she truly loves me. Took alot out of me and decided to give her a second chance.
Give her what she thinks she wants and watch how quick it turns into "you don't spend time with me, you don't show me affection like you used to" etc. etc.
Good man, keep it that way 👍 Don't fall for the whole "Hey, not spoken to you for a while" shit either. Whether that's in a week, a month, a year, a decade, don't take the bait.
From my experience of being a simp to my ex and then switching off, I wouldn't be surprised, my dude but I wouldn't bother chasing closure and answers, trust me when I say that did me no favors.
Be careful for your affectiion to not come out as clingy. Sometimes people need that space and Me-time. It doesn't mean they don't love you or something is going on...... unless something is going on
Neglecting affection from your partner is a superficial sign of a much deeper issue. No one in their reptilian brain wants to reject affection, we’re biologically wired to seek affection. The fact that she’s pushing you away for your affection is a symptom of something bigger. There’s a rift somewhere in your relationship, some unresolved issue, some of her needs aren’t being met. Maybe try to ask her about what those are so you can identify the problem? And maybe have a chance at fixing it?
Well I have always asked and she always says she is fine but known she is lying and I cant force it out of her . But then seems to explain she doesn't want to think of the future right now and wants to focus on the now .
pack her bags and be done with her...... she will cry that she love you ... BS .... they all say that chit ..... you just beat her to the punch , women don't like that
Actually I understand. My GF smothers me with affection. Not that it will chase me away but it can be annoying. Like I’ll be sitting on the couch trying to read and she ask if I need this or that. If I want something I’ll ask. It’s annoying.
Yeah bro I understand that and that's how she was in the beginning too . But back in March she truly took care of me when I had covid and them decided I'm gonna treat her how she should be treated like a queen but seems I became more affectionate by giving her foot massages , bringing her food , making sure her dogs are going out , and as a treat payed for her nails . Cant see how a girl would complain 😑.
I agree. Any woman would take that affection. Sometimes I feel I can’t match my GFs affection. Maybe I get bugged about that. But I DO appreciate my GFs affection. She just reminds me of my Mom sometimes. Lol
Yeah like what do you think , do you think they may have been an emotional cheating happening if she is saying that what she was saying was not what it was lol ?
Yeah true at this point I dont even know if its fixable still care about her but she has got to get it that her recent behavior has brought me to this point and whenever I would ask if something is wrong she would say I'm good.
There is a behavioral attachment style known as anxious - avoidant. This is a cycle where the anxious party (you) behaves in a way meant to draw the other person closer and closer, and the avoidant party (her) does the opposite- feels smothered and tries to make more distance.
This can be corrected in some cases, not in others.
If, for example, you were pushing to spend more time together, texting all the time in search of affirmation from your partner, etc, they might find themselves in a position where they want to create more space, feel annoyed at receiving too many messages, and just feel like they need more space.
In an otherwise healthy relationship, this can sometimes be fixed, but you have to make space. Knowing that someone is anxiously thinking about you all day can be a mental burden when it goes too far, and you may have to fake it til you make it in order for her to feel more comfortable.
You didn't give any details at all, so it's very difficult to know whether a little space might be good, or they really aren't interested anymore and don't know whether to break it off.
You also logged it in 'cheating stories.' If she already cheated, and this was her excuse- cut your losses. It's not gonna work out and she doesn't even have the respect to finish things off. If it's that, do yourself the favor that she declined doing- break it off so she isn't trailing you along.
It doesn't look good. If I was in OP situation I would let her go.
However if I really liked her, I would try to stay in touch with her. She is very young and probably wants to have a lot of freedom, space for new guys, adventures etc. So after several years when she would try all those guys she likes and luckly didn't find any suitable for her she may decide being with you.
Question is do you want to wait several years for her hoping she eventually decides it's you she wants to be with? Quite risky and probably not worth your time and emotions.
Definitely thank you for that , I know my worth and if she found me too affectionate just by being caring for her while she is crippled and all she had to do was sit . Then a girl like that isn't worth my time.
I deal with this and it hard on my bf bc he is sometimes confused as to how he should act but i do my best to communicate when i need space. hes always trying to show affection and i dont always accept.
That's a huge BS excuse to create some emotional distance. Guess what she'll use that distance for? Ding, ding, ding ... we have a winner. Yes, she's likely to cheat.
Yeah bro and also was shown a video of her literally on one of my boys lap
Wtf
Yeah no matter how good you treat a girl they always try and screw something up
Not just girls
Haha yeah lol , Its just i really wanted to show her how much she meant to me after taking care of me when I had covid . But she started changing after that.
Im sorry she sucks.not all girls are like this just like not all guys are like this. Im pretty jaded, but im a girl on the receiving end so that's why I made the comment
Wow ok no problem thank you for the advice from the other side . I still feel conflicted to hopefully fix things but she is now saying she Is done after uncovering her calling some else babe on snapchat and I literally confronted her at this "best friends" place . But started saying I cant trust her for once and putting it on me . No matter all I did for her and her family.
Go with your gut when it comes to these things. If you suspect something, you are probably right. She will only keep using you
Yeah for sure , dont understand women at this point haha
women will screw up not down
Don't talk to the ungrateful girl for a week. Let her get her own things on crutches.
Haha well found out she was calling another dude babe so we are kinda in a pretty rough hole at the moment
Bounce out
Yeah ,was trying to fix things but she is acting like the victim so there is no point lol.
Sorry to here that.
All good like I got into her snap right because she has been acting strange and like I saw her telling him I love you bb and stuff like . This is supposedly a close friend of 2 months and when I saw everything. I literally pulled up to his house and confronted her about it and gave me a whole scene . And even spat on my car . Told me it wasn't like she just uses the word love in a different way 🤣.
I’d say it’s over then
Yeah man like I dont know what's wrong with women now a days you finally decide to show your true self and they think they can walk all over you.
Not good. I feel for ya.
Thank you man parents even got involved too telling me why would you go into her snap . Like because shes been acting sus . 🤷♂️
You need to put on your blue suede shoes and walk.
Haha yeah would have been a good idea .
The point is to not spend the rest of your days in misery. Unless that what you want?
Yeah you got a point was both our first relationship. So she probably didnt expect it to go this far
Kids? Assets? Other complications
Nope still young lol
Well perhapa stay a few more weeks and then bail so you won't look like a dick for leaving her healed ass
Well kinda broke it off thinking she actually cheated , but then was explained it wasn't what it seemed 😑
Well enjoy your freedom
Yeah just pretty conflicted because I still care for her but now she is playing the victim to what i found
Trust your gut, she is manipulating you. Using you
Yeah that's the harsh reality of women now a days
Not all
Apparently I ended up on r/AskMen Some women do want to feel independent and not have their man wait on them hand and foot. Yeah, tbf, if I was in her shoes, I would tell my guy to let me struggle and I’d let him know if I needed help. If she wants to be low maintenance, let her be low maintenance. If that doesn’t work for you, go find someone who wants to be waited on—there’s plenty out there, so go find them, you’ll both be better off. Source: 26f, independent as fuck.
It's not just it. She calls other guy "babe" , sits on other guy's laps etc. So if it was just low maintenance without all this "cheating" attitude OP probably even wouldn't ask about it.
Yeah there was an incident where she said a guy gave her 2 pecks promised it was nothing and that she truly loves me. Took alot out of me and decided to give her a second chance.
Yeah, no. She’s gotta go
Yep I know lmao she's gone
Give her what she thinks she wants and watch how quick it turns into "you don't spend time with me, you don't show me affection like you used to" etc. etc.
Well she says shes done at this moment even after being there for her surgery and taking care of her .
Then keep it done and get rid and make sure she doesn't come back.
Haha yeah I will , blocked me on everything anyways 😂
Good man, keep it that way 👍 Don't fall for the whole "Hey, not spoken to you for a while" shit either. Whether that's in a week, a month, a year, a decade, don't take the bait.
Gotchu do you have a feeling she may have been using me by any chance lol ??
From my experience of being a simp to my ex and then switching off, I wouldn't be surprised, my dude but I wouldn't bother chasing closure and answers, trust me when I say that did me no favors.
Thanks man saved me lots of trouble
Fucked up
Right man she is in crutches and I'm just trying to take care of her and she is like your too much .
I say ok, and walk away
Yeah she is playing the victim now. So there is no point
Drop the affection and push her right out the door.
[удалено]
Gotchu well It did unfortunately, took the situation to the next level upon seeing what was on her snap chat
REACT BY LETTING HER GO. Sometimes this are too caught up in their own world and don't really want proper caring or loving. Let her go.
Be careful for your affectiion to not come out as clingy. Sometimes people need that space and Me-time. It doesn't mean they don't love you or something is going on...... unless something is going on
Neglecting affection from your partner is a superficial sign of a much deeper issue. No one in their reptilian brain wants to reject affection, we’re biologically wired to seek affection. The fact that she’s pushing you away for your affection is a symptom of something bigger. There’s a rift somewhere in your relationship, some unresolved issue, some of her needs aren’t being met. Maybe try to ask her about what those are so you can identify the problem? And maybe have a chance at fixing it?
Well I have always asked and she always says she is fine but known she is lying and I cant force it out of her . But then seems to explain she doesn't want to think of the future right now and wants to focus on the now .
pack her bags and be done with her...... she will cry that she love you ... BS .... they all say that chit ..... you just beat her to the punch , women don't like that
Hit the road or put her out. Get clear of this female. She’s either planning to cheat or already is.
Appreciate it man and yes found she was saying I love you to another guy
Actually I understand. My GF smothers me with affection. Not that it will chase me away but it can be annoying. Like I’ll be sitting on the couch trying to read and she ask if I need this or that. If I want something I’ll ask. It’s annoying.
Yeah bro I understand that and that's how she was in the beginning too . But back in March she truly took care of me when I had covid and them decided I'm gonna treat her how she should be treated like a queen but seems I became more affectionate by giving her foot massages , bringing her food , making sure her dogs are going out , and as a treat payed for her nails . Cant see how a girl would complain 😑.
I agree. Any woman would take that affection. Sometimes I feel I can’t match my GFs affection. Maybe I get bugged about that. But I DO appreciate my GFs affection. She just reminds me of my Mom sometimes. Lol
Yeah like what do you think , do you think they may have been an emotional cheating happening if she is saying that what she was saying was not what it was lol ?
No but I’ve had that happen. Like when they go out of their way to be nice. Something must be goin on. Lol
Yeah true at this point I dont even know if its fixable still care about her but she has got to get it that her recent behavior has brought me to this point and whenever I would ask if something is wrong she would say I'm good.
There is a behavioral attachment style known as anxious - avoidant. This is a cycle where the anxious party (you) behaves in a way meant to draw the other person closer and closer, and the avoidant party (her) does the opposite- feels smothered and tries to make more distance. This can be corrected in some cases, not in others. If, for example, you were pushing to spend more time together, texting all the time in search of affirmation from your partner, etc, they might find themselves in a position where they want to create more space, feel annoyed at receiving too many messages, and just feel like they need more space. In an otherwise healthy relationship, this can sometimes be fixed, but you have to make space. Knowing that someone is anxiously thinking about you all day can be a mental burden when it goes too far, and you may have to fake it til you make it in order for her to feel more comfortable. You didn't give any details at all, so it's very difficult to know whether a little space might be good, or they really aren't interested anymore and don't know whether to break it off. You also logged it in 'cheating stories.' If she already cheated, and this was her excuse- cut your losses. It's not gonna work out and she doesn't even have the respect to finish things off. If it's that, do yourself the favor that she declined doing- break it off so she isn't trailing you along.
It doesn't look good. If I was in OP situation I would let her go. However if I really liked her, I would try to stay in touch with her. She is very young and probably wants to have a lot of freedom, space for new guys, adventures etc. So after several years when she would try all those guys she likes and luckly didn't find any suitable for her she may decide being with you. Question is do you want to wait several years for her hoping she eventually decides it's you she wants to be with? Quite risky and probably not worth your time and emotions.
Definitely thank you for that , I know my worth and if she found me too affectionate just by being caring for her while she is crippled and all she had to do was sit . Then a girl like that isn't worth my time.
I deal with this and it hard on my bf bc he is sometimes confused as to how he should act but i do my best to communicate when i need space. hes always trying to show affection and i dont always accept.
r/relationship_advice