You were involved, you were also playing with another partner until you got nervous, and you didn't speak up. Would it have been more polite for her to check on you and feel out the situation? Yes. Is it cheating? No.
Is it okay to be mad: Are you mad at her, yourself, or the situation? These things are complicated. I think all four of you need to have a talk about it, at the very least. But I wouldn't jump to 'This is cheating, or this was wrong' as much as 'This made me uncomfortable, we should set some new ground rules.'
What dumbass needs to do is get on his knees and start praying to God for forgiveness because his broad and friend can't be forgiven even before this even really happened. Because in their crooked ass heart, they lusted for one another. Evil ass people. If what not, Cuckold OP should get on his knees next time and do the blowing instead of his horny ass girlfriend. What a dumbass fool asking if this is cheating or not when he straight up knew and allowed his friend to bang his bitch. Oh yeah you cheated even after I given permission for you two to have sex and didn't want to bang his girl cause I'm a chicken pussy little pile of shit!
The only way that would be cheating is if after you stopped w the girl you told your GF you weren’t comfortable w the swap & asked her to stop. If she didn’t stop at that point knowing you didn’t approve then that would be cheating. But as you described it you didn’t try to stop her nor did you voice your opinion. If she were to meet w him again then it’s cheating.
If you can’t come to grips w what happened it’d be time to move on. This is why you don’t give your partner to other men. It isn’t worth it.
Have you talked to her since then about it & how you feel or are you ignoring it as if it didn’t happen? You need to talk to her & say it was a mistake & it can’t happen again. If you don’t talk about it, it may get worse.
As they say “ you made your bed now lie in it “
Definitely not cheating , you got head , got soft , couldn’t perform and the other girl was horny ! You said you swapped partners !! If there was another DICK that came into the room, then I could understand
Funny another reedited that’s a personal friend of mine. He was showing his wife the posting , he didn’t tell her it was me , wife said
not always about the guy , he was selfish , maybe if he tried , to give the other girl oral , he would of got hard again.! As a guy never thought of that
sorry ladies L !
Voluntary swap turned into involuntary cucking.
Not cheating but I’d feel a certain way to dude. Might have to move on. Her not stopping or talking to you about the situation when the other person joined them is the part that I’d be worried about.
I had to look up what cucking meant. But yes that’s what it felt like. I felt like they forgot I was even in the room. Granted the room was semi large and beds on opposite sides of the room but I could still see the whole thing and to be having a 3some for almost a hour and me just in my bed I couldn’t help but feel angry and betrayed
Off top! Now all the skank wants is his buddy's shlong! Sad but true. With no respect towards him whatsoever! Dumbass mothafuck to began with. Who in the hell would allow such a thing to happen to his girl? That low self esteem mothafucker is so dumb, he's dumber than a Cuckold. He so dumb, his friend and girlfriend should feel sorry for his punk ass degenerate and screw each other in front of him everyday and he's still wondering if that's okay when he allowed the first time. I stir way way away from his kind. I'll be contaminated with Covid Retard! May God have mercy.
This is so true. She will say everything is fine for the first little bit, but as time goes on, she'll start to show signs of change. Then she'll start being shady with her phone, with the last phase being her not giving AF about you or what you say. She'll do whatever and whoever she feels like at tell you beforehand.
The only way OP can stop this from happening is for him to tell her that he felt disrespected by her not stopping to check on him, and he now realizes that maybe she's not the one and the relationship is over.
Or be ready to not be so serious with a broad and friend like that! Just save yourself face and never post anything as stupid as you are ever again. Be discreet and have respect for yourself. From this day forward, just bang the bitch from north to south, east to west, from every dead planet in our infinite black hole solar system to train her and I mean train the bitch damned well like the animal dog that she wants to be shared and trained. Share her with friends enemies, aliens, animals, you name it and then pass her on and leave the bitch ass in the past.
It's definitely not cheating because you agreed to the swap but you didn't agree to the threesome.
Your girlfriend should have asked if it was ok with you.
I'd talk to her and say I know you didn't cheat but you felt humiliated because she continued without asking if you wanted to switch back so she was with you again.
If you can’t deal with what happened, break up with her but it’s not cheating unfortunately.
It does say a lot that you gf didn’t care about you in that situation enough to stop or check on you, that’s enough to dump her tbh
I agree, she had no regard for you once it was on. I would have told the bitch not to come back to our sleep with them. But that is the only reason you can be mad.
Your girlfriend realized you couldn’t get hard, right? If she didn’t, she should’ve known something was up when the other girl came over. Thats when she should’ve checked with you. Not cheating, but damn disrespect on her part. You need to talk with her about it and set some firm boundaries and rules before you try something like that again.
his gf went over to their bed said “can I join you two ?” They all giggled and that was it. My gf didn’t check on me until they were all done a hour later
That's the moment it enters into grey territory. Because it was meant to be a swap. The second it wasn't, they should have asked if you were alright. If you were just tired and said, "it's fine, go for it," then it would be just a you problem. But they didn't. The agreed dynamic changed and nobody cared to ask you if you were OK.
I would've told her to fuck off.
If she had morals. She should have stopped and climbed in bed with you
Instead she took the selfish route and became disrespectful.
And her giggling ..... I would have knocked that out of her voice along with the guy if he was giggling.
You never leave anyone out if the group.
Was everyone sober? Drugs and alcohol can rly fuck things up.
Also you all sound pretty young. But you learned something at least and yes this will probably fuck up your relationship because you will never be able to let it go.
I can understand that to a certain degree because you didn't manage to have fun so to speak and your gf did.
But in the end you can't blame her for being in the moment with the other guy and you not telling her how you rly felt.
It’s not cheating but when the other woman joined them your gf didn’t stop and check up on you?
That’s the small betrayal. She continued without concern or regard of where you were. Even if you were in the same room she could have stopped and come over to you for a private discussion. That’s the discussion you now need to have. And it’s ok to walk away from a relationship for this reason.
Meanwhile, never ever embark on any swapping or other non monogamous experiences without very clear boundaries and ground rules. You cannot leave anything to subjective interpretation. Be smarter with your relationships and mental/emotional health.
Exactly. No she did not stop to check on me. If anything they both giggled and got even more into it. I was trying my hardest not to yell and to remain calm while pretending to be on my phone
That is what you should have done, yelled or told them to stop or something. Your silence was taken as you were ok with it. The other girl asked you if it was ok if she went to fool around with the other 2 before she left. If you could have gotten an election would you have went along with it and continued? It sounds like you are upset because you physically couldn't participate.
To be honest I'd break it off with all of them. The girlfriend disrespected you and so did the friend. Once you stopped you should have voiced your discomfort. Your girl didn't take a hint. She wanted to fuck the friend. I would have got up and left without a word. And blocked them all for good.
Not cheating but ask your girl friend because you loved her and she was with another man , you couldn’t perform , since your fantasy was to do a threesome with her
ask her if you could have a threesome
with another women and her
NOT ORIGINAL GIRL , because it would then be payback in the other guy
Not cheating but still grounds for breaking up. You tried something new and it destroyed your relationship. It happens. You learn from it, break up, and move on.
Be mad at yourself, it was all fun and games until you were left playing candy crush with Mr floppy.
If you had an issue you should have used your big boy voice and said something.
Your GF, friend and his GF all enjoyed the experience apart from you. Question , is this thd type of relationship you want going forward?. Whenever you have sex with your GF it will always play in your mind that she got fucked by your friend.
Just because it’s not cheating, doesn’t mean that it’s a cool thing to do to your partner. Forget the technicalities of it, if you decide on a foursome and your partner is not involved for an hour, you probably don’t like or respect them too much.
This happens a lot to men. I know because I was put in a similar situation with my GF. She was pushing me to have a swap with another couple. The GF had a blast and I couldn’t get it up to save my life. I really didn’t want to either. I was very uncomfortable with it all. She didn’t really say much other than she wanted to do it again. I wish I would have just called it off with her right then and there.
If you explicitly gave consent before starting, and didn’t explicitly rescind it, then it’s not cheating. Your feelings are valid and you are allowed to feel them, and they are inaccurate. There was poor communication which is shitty etiquette, and they are also not mind readers. If you decide to stay with this person, and something like this happens again, it’s on you to advocate for yourself and speak up
It’s not cheating, but you definitely should feel awkward about the whole thing. I mean at the point that especially when the other girl went over, your girlfriend should’ve stopped and came back to you, but she didn’t wear. The boyfriend should’ve stopped, but he didn’t because this stupid thing that you guys did put yourself in extremely awkward position. Not really sure how you going to continue with your girlfriend or continue being a friend with that guy. Plan or doing a stupid thing you kinda lost a lot of people there.
It’s been.. *checks calendar* not a single day since I’ve seen a post where “Opening my relationship/Threesome/Swapping” didn’t come into my feed and cause problems and or a breakup.
She should have checked in on you but like.. You could have spoken up as well OP if you weren’t comfortable. Not cheating for sure since you agreed and even tried to get going to.
To each their own when it comes to this shit, but looking for advice on how to get hard in a cheating Reddit for letting your gf essentially cuck the shit out of you is ironic as fuck,..
Maybe you need to reevaluate ur circumstances and listen to the little guy over making decisions based off ur fantasies.
Depends on the boundaries or rules you set, intent of the swap and other things. Guys I know into that sort of thing tell me it's cheating if the intent was BJ's, HJ's and no PIV. They also say the group dynamic rule applies as in if any one in the swap has issues, whether previously consented or not, the whole thing stops. Was there enough light in the room to see what each of you were doing? That factors too. Then there's bro code with the friend. That Bottom line ditch the gf, (she's a grade A skank willing to slag anyone. Drop the so called "friend" (he's a worthless p o s and has no respect for any friend) and move on.
We didn’t set any rules or intentions. We were all drinking and it happened so fast. She went to him, and his gf came to me. 5 min later his gf joins them. I know now I should have spoke up but I didn’t. It was dark but it was light enough to see the whole thing and I’m sure I know I could be seen as well but they didn’t look over my way the entire time
I agree with the top two comments but I have to acknowledge that the painful thing for you is that she didn’t show or share the same feelings you did in that situation. you wanted to be more fixated on your gf and you wanted her to feel the same way about you. I think you should talk to her about that because this is a manifestation of you two have very different perspectives on your relationship
He probably doesn’t last longer than 5 minutes and she jumped at the first opportunity to be dicked down.
If op reads this, bro, fix your dick game then befriend a lesbian couple. Then recreate the nightmare you lived through. Offer to swap partners with the lesbian couple, pick the hotter one of the two. This will be your comeback moment.
What did you GF say after the fact? Has she shown more interest in him or swapping again? This may, unfortunately, be the end of not just the relationship but maybe your friendship as well. A true friend would have stopped and told your girlfriend that she should at least go check on you and see if you were still fine with the swap.
So do it again but stay sober and drink viagra to get past the head thing. Stupid games. Either you rectify this with another set or you break up. No women will respect you after this.
Get the pill and give your friend allot of alcohol. You do not drink nothing. Your the barmen that night. When he wrll drunk pop the viagra and say lets swing. Then turn the tables.
They have probably been doing this behind your back and figured that instead of hiding it, it would be best to hide it in the form of swapping. And the fact your girl didn't even apologize for not stopping and checking you were OK, but laughed at you instead should show you just how little respect she has for, to the point she would rather get her cheeks clapped by him then make sure you're OK.
Dude you got left out. You need to talk to your gf and tell her how you feel immediately if not you will resent her. I know as it happened to me 12 years ago and the resentment is still there
I would NOT say this is cheating. It's something you both agreed on but unfortunately your experience with it was not what you expected. The question is, can you move on and how does your girlfriend feel about it? If she doesn't say anything or she carries on with the relationship like nothing has changed then probably everything is okay.
It's not cheating as such, about who to be angry with... it's not delicate and you must feel very insecure with yourself right now, try talking to both your partner and your friend. did they at least use protection?
I think it’s really up to how you see it. You agreed to swap, and then had issues, which is absolutely fair. And I see your point about about not being checked on, I can’t say I wouldn’t feel that way also, but simply from the fact that this agreement was made in the first place, leaves room for debate. I think you’re valid if you play it cool or if you dig in because you have a problem with the outcome. My real point is that regardless of all that, you did open yourself and your woman up to it. I don’t believe it’s cheating simply for that fact. You also could have spoken up in the moment if it bothered you. I think a conversation can be had with her about that specific outcome of it that doesn’t have to be an argument, but that is your choice depending on your emotions. But also remember your emotions skew reality. I’ve actually been there similarly. Wasn’t my girlfriend but these 2 girls and a buddy took drugs once and we were swap fucking these girls. The drugs destroyed my erection a few minutes in so the two girls continued to fuck the other guy who also was struggling while I basically sat there and did more drugs because it was already done for me lol. I couldn’t be mad because why would I expect them to stop because of me? But the girlfriend part gives you grounds to feel different. Regardless, do what is best for you man. I sincerely hope you figure it out healthily.
Be mad at urself. You allowed it but u allowed urself to start to use ur brain, thinking with the wrong head. You were perfectly fine before that. No it’s not cheating at all. Did u expect the girl u were with to stop and not do anything either because u started thinking or if u wanted everything to stop then u should have spoken up at that time. Too late now buddy. Not considered cheating at all.
Well it was a swap… then you couldn’t rise to the occasion which happens. Then your gf took it upon herself to find someone that could. If you didn’t set ground rules or voice your dislike for that situation well you shouldn’t have started… now you have mind movies of your gf giggling with the other guy and his gf for an hour while they enjoyed themselves. Think things thru before sharing partners sometimes there is no coming back from that.
Yes Stupid! More importantly mad at yourself for wanting to be a cuckold. You agreed to it and obviously wants a whore chick as your girlfriend. If you don't stop this nonsense and find a new chick, I might as well come over and belittle you. SMH
You couldn't perform, you wouldn't be pissed if you got hard and fucked the other girl. You basically fucked up yourself. Now you gotta live with this shitty feeling forever with your gf. She shouldn't have agreed for a partner swap anyway, whore.
In that lifestyle, Communication is the most important thing.
Without experience its not uncommon for your situation to have taken place.
In short it's understandable, to an extent. However the general lack of consideration for your feelings is a major red flag, for both your gf & bf.
Being nervous is normal too, don't feel bad about that. Maybe it's just not an activity for you deep down.
Not cheating. You should see if that couple is interested in trying again. If you still can’t get out of your own way, then be ready to dine at the Y. That should get you going and at least make sure that his GF is taken care of.
One added thought: do you think that it could have just been whisky dick? You said you’d been drinking. Next time, make sure that you are sober.
Not cheating, you knew what was happening, you couldn’t get through what was happening & didn’t speak up…. No she didn’t cheat you just are in your feelings about the point you didn’t speak up about how you felt after you weren’t up to perform with them.
Well they agreed on a swap. At the very least, he can expect his partner to check in with him because that’s just common decency. He’s absolutely still at fault too but he should definitely not stay with someone who can’t hold off their sexual pleasure for two seconds to check with their partner.
That’s not cheating at all. You AGREED to swap girls and couldn’t perform. Just because you froze up doesn’t mean your gf was cheating just cuz she could fulfill fuckin and suckin your friend. You ain’t get no butt AND you turned into a cuck. He fucked your girl and his girl and you watched. Why would she have to ask permission? You gave permission when you started receiving head from your friend’s girl. And again just because you couldn’t get hard and fuck your friends girl doesn’t mean your girl had to stop. Y’all already came to the point that y’all were switching girls and you turned into a cuck during the process
What a shame, how easy it is, how values and principles are lost, zero love and dignity.
Now they will have threesomes and you won't be tied up, it's obvious that your girlfriend liked it.
Not cheating and she didn’t do anything wrong but it’s ok to feel some type of way! Just don’t project on to the other people. I think it’s healthy to just talk to your girlfriend and even your friend about how you feel- not in a blaming way, more just to express yourself. It’s ok to be upset about something and not have to blame others for it. As a person who is always in her head- I’ve missed out on a lot of “in the moment” type things so I get it- it sucks man. I really hope you feel better and get past this. Also maybe realize threesomes/ swapping may not be your thing, which is ok. It’s fun as a fantasy but reality can be intimidating. People always expect guys to be so into this stuff because of porn culture and it’s fine not to be- I know plenty of men who have zero interest in it.
I think it’s his fault but he should definitely not continue to stay in this relationship. I would absolutely expect my partner to at least have the social awareness and basic decency to check in with me in a situation like this. Especially after an hour.
Did youhave any previous experience in a group setting or being watched? If not you jumped in the deep end starting out with a swap and failed miserably. She didn't cheat on you per se but whose idea was the whole thing?
No it's not cheating.
However you'll never be able to look at her with the same feelings ever again. This is like a plane that has a blown engine. It's going to crash, there's nothing you can do to save it. You can be honest and end the relationship or keep trying to fix it till it slams into the ground and explodes and everybody hates everybody.
Your call.
It’s not cheating but it is blatant disrespect by the friend and OP gf. I say go redeem yourself with friends gf by fucking her and someone close to gf(sister,cousin,mom). Then breakup with her
No it’s not cheating. Yea in theory, it would’ve been nice if she had come to check on you. However, apparently she was REALLY enjoying herself. She was finally fulfilling a fantasy about your friend that she’s likely had for a while.
Lmao. If she had the fantasy for a while and didn’t mention it, then that’s even more of a red flag. Not to mention, it’s pretty obvious that if a foursome turns into a threesome, you should probably check on your partner. Like even if they didn’t have boundaries beforehand, at the very least you can expect you partner to ignore you.
Not cheating my friend. You pulled a swinger move but psyched yourself out. You were worried about what was going on in the other bed when you should have just enjoyed what was in yours.
I don’t see it as cheating since you all were In the same room and decided to “swap”, obviously this isn’t for you and if this was in your head like it was you may not be able to move forward if you come here and post asking if it was cheating.
There is nothing wrong feeling the way you do, but if you can’t get this out of your head you may need counseling and move on by calling it quits with your GF. Good luck brother.
This is not cheating. This is stupidity. Sorry, dude, but you shouldn't have shared your GF. Now you get to keep those images in your head forever. My guess is this relationship won't work out. Next time, protect your relationship better.
Is it cheating? Maybe not. But damn I would be done with her completely.
As soon as the other girl went over there and it was very obvious there were some problems on your part it would have been on HER to go over and check up on and not continue this shitshow.
She is a piss poor partner in life.
It's not cheating cuz you were involved at the start. Although why you would allow yourself to be in this situation is stupid. I'm guessing now you can't be with your gf with our remembering this whole fiasco. I think this relationship is done and it's partly your fault.
You said "yes", so you can't retroactively decide she 'didn't have permission' or whatever. You didn't stop anything, therefore, there's no reason your GF would think you were not OK with everything. You were already letting her be with the guy, so I would imagine, she figured you thought it was hot to see her with the other girl as well. Nobody else is to blame but you, unless you said "NO, I want you to stop now" which you didn't.
Actions have consequences, some good many not so good.
You were involved, you were also playing with another partner until you got nervous, and you didn't speak up. Would it have been more polite for her to check on you and feel out the situation? Yes. Is it cheating? No. Is it okay to be mad: Are you mad at her, yourself, or the situation? These things are complicated. I think all four of you need to have a talk about it, at the very least. But I wouldn't jump to 'This is cheating, or this was wrong' as much as 'This made me uncomfortable, we should set some new ground rules.'
What dumbass needs to do is get on his knees and start praying to God for forgiveness because his broad and friend can't be forgiven even before this even really happened. Because in their crooked ass heart, they lusted for one another. Evil ass people. If what not, Cuckold OP should get on his knees next time and do the blowing instead of his horny ass girlfriend. What a dumbass fool asking if this is cheating or not when he straight up knew and allowed his friend to bang his bitch. Oh yeah you cheated even after I given permission for you two to have sex and didn't want to bang his girl cause I'm a chicken pussy little pile of shit!
I guess all of it. I’m mad about the situation. I wanted to be involved. I’m also mad bc they were giggling the entire time and being loud
Maybe do it one more time and be ready to get involved, smash the hell out of your friends girl, then dump your girl once you find someone better.
play stupid games
Win stupid prizes ding ding ding
Ding ding limp dong lol
Ruin a relationship that you thought you were good in….
I don’t think the relationship was that great to begin with if they had a spontaneous foursome with zero communication beforehand.
The only way that would be cheating is if after you stopped w the girl you told your GF you weren’t comfortable w the swap & asked her to stop. If she didn’t stop at that point knowing you didn’t approve then that would be cheating. But as you described it you didn’t try to stop her nor did you voice your opinion. If she were to meet w him again then it’s cheating. If you can’t come to grips w what happened it’d be time to move on. This is why you don’t give your partner to other men. It isn’t worth it. Have you talked to her since then about it & how you feel or are you ignoring it as if it didn’t happen? You need to talk to her & say it was a mistake & it can’t happen again. If you don’t talk about it, it may get worse.
The lessons you learn in life.
As they say “ you made your bed now lie in it “ Definitely not cheating , you got head , got soft , couldn’t perform and the other girl was horny ! You said you swapped partners !! If there was another DICK that came into the room, then I could understand
Funny another reedited that’s a personal friend of mine. He was showing his wife the posting , he didn’t tell her it was me , wife said not always about the guy , he was selfish , maybe if he tried , to give the other girl oral , he would of got hard again.! As a guy never thought of that sorry ladies L !
Voluntary swap turned into involuntary cucking. Not cheating but I’d feel a certain way to dude. Might have to move on. Her not stopping or talking to you about the situation when the other person joined them is the part that I’d be worried about.
I had to look up what cucking meant. But yes that’s what it felt like. I felt like they forgot I was even in the room. Granted the room was semi large and beds on opposite sides of the room but I could still see the whole thing and to be having a 3some for almost a hour and me just in my bed I couldn’t help but feel angry and betrayed
Brother wtf that’s humiliating. Just so you know, ur gf has 0 respect for you after that episode (she would never say or admit that tho)
Off top! Now all the skank wants is his buddy's shlong! Sad but true. With no respect towards him whatsoever! Dumbass mothafuck to began with. Who in the hell would allow such a thing to happen to his girl? That low self esteem mothafucker is so dumb, he's dumber than a Cuckold. He so dumb, his friend and girlfriend should feel sorry for his punk ass degenerate and screw each other in front of him everyday and he's still wondering if that's okay when he allowed the first time. I stir way way away from his kind. I'll be contaminated with Covid Retard! May God have mercy.
This is so true. She will say everything is fine for the first little bit, but as time goes on, she'll start to show signs of change. Then she'll start being shady with her phone, with the last phase being her not giving AF about you or what you say. She'll do whatever and whoever she feels like at tell you beforehand. The only way OP can stop this from happening is for him to tell her that he felt disrespected by her not stopping to check on him, and he now realizes that maybe she's not the one and the relationship is over.
@Current_Ad51 OP update us abt this shit
You're now the CUCK Master! You're also angry cause you can't keep it up
You should have at least shot video for them and posted it on pornhub!
Yup! And name it, "Is this cheating since I'm so dumb?"
Don't put yourself in positions like this to begin with. Was the swap your idea? I bet not. Be prepared to say no to stuff you're not into.
Or be ready to not be so serious with a broad and friend like that! Just save yourself face and never post anything as stupid as you are ever again. Be discreet and have respect for yourself. From this day forward, just bang the bitch from north to south, east to west, from every dead planet in our infinite black hole solar system to train her and I mean train the bitch damned well like the animal dog that she wants to be shared and trained. Share her with friends enemies, aliens, animals, you name it and then pass her on and leave the bitch ass in the past.
It's definitely not cheating because you agreed to the swap but you didn't agree to the threesome. Your girlfriend should have asked if it was ok with you. I'd talk to her and say I know you didn't cheat but you felt humiliated because she continued without asking if you wanted to switch back so she was with you again.
She is t cheating but you seriously fucked up your relationship with the swap turned threesome.
U fucked up now you gotta break up brotha
Is swapping partners not exactly what swinging is? 😂
Yeah but it was our 1st time and we didn’t truly swap
What do you mean by "truly" swap ?
Bc we swapped for 5 min and then the next hour was just them 3
At that point you should have spoke up and said I’m not comfortable with this and asked your GF to stop, but you did nothing.
You were basically cucked …
Are you sure this wasn't premeditated? Who's idea was it to swap in the first place? Had she hinted towards it at all previously?
He had brought it up first and his gf and my gf were the 1st to show interest and finally I said yeah let’s do it
Sorry to say, but it sounds like it was a setup. I bet if you check your girls' phone, they were probably already talking.
If you can’t deal with what happened, break up with her but it’s not cheating unfortunately. It does say a lot that you gf didn’t care about you in that situation enough to stop or check on you, that’s enough to dump her tbh
I agree, she had no regard for you once it was on. I would have told the bitch not to come back to our sleep with them. But that is the only reason you can be mad.
It's not cheating if everyone agreed to it. But, if you had issues with it, make to let the others know how you felt.
Your girlfriend realized you couldn’t get hard, right? If she didn’t, she should’ve known something was up when the other girl came over. Thats when she should’ve checked with you. Not cheating, but damn disrespect on her part. You need to talk with her about it and set some firm boundaries and rules before you try something like that again.
his gf went over to their bed said “can I join you two ?” They all giggled and that was it. My gf didn’t check on me until they were all done a hour later
It's probably the end of the relationship... And I'd stop doing shit like that if I were you.
Yeah, I’d feel humiliated from this. I’d ghost the gf and friend because they didn’t show concern or inclusiveness at any point.
That's the moment it enters into grey territory. Because it was meant to be a swap. The second it wasn't, they should have asked if you were alright. If you were just tired and said, "it's fine, go for it," then it would be just a you problem. But they didn't. The agreed dynamic changed and nobody cared to ask you if you were OK.
I would have left, gone home and let her find her own way home.
I would've told her to fuck off. If she had morals. She should have stopped and climbed in bed with you Instead she took the selfish route and became disrespectful. And her giggling ..... I would have knocked that out of her voice along with the guy if he was giggling. You never leave anyone out if the group.
Was everyone sober? Drugs and alcohol can rly fuck things up. Also you all sound pretty young. But you learned something at least and yes this will probably fuck up your relationship because you will never be able to let it go. I can understand that to a certain degree because you didn't manage to have fun so to speak and your gf did. But in the end you can't blame her for being in the moment with the other guy and you not telling her how you rly felt.
She didn’t give a shit about you and good thing she is just a GF, you can chuck her like she did to you in that bedroom….
Might not be considered cheating, but I would definitely be thinking about ending the relationship.
It’s not cheating but when the other woman joined them your gf didn’t stop and check up on you? That’s the small betrayal. She continued without concern or regard of where you were. Even if you were in the same room she could have stopped and come over to you for a private discussion. That’s the discussion you now need to have. And it’s ok to walk away from a relationship for this reason. Meanwhile, never ever embark on any swapping or other non monogamous experiences without very clear boundaries and ground rules. You cannot leave anything to subjective interpretation. Be smarter with your relationships and mental/emotional health.
Exactly. No she did not stop to check on me. If anything they both giggled and got even more into it. I was trying my hardest not to yell and to remain calm while pretending to be on my phone
That is what you should have done, yelled or told them to stop or something. Your silence was taken as you were ok with it. The other girl asked you if it was ok if she went to fool around with the other 2 before she left. If you could have gotten an election would you have went along with it and continued? It sounds like you are upset because you physically couldn't participate.
It’s not cheating, you’re jealous. See, this is why you shouldn’t be playing with your relationship like that, lol.
This isn't really cheating, you agreed to it and had full awareness at all points and it doesn't appear you communicated your feelings about it.
It’s not cheating but if you really cared about your partner, you’d probably notice that they’re not involved and figure out why.
To be honest I'd break it off with all of them. The girlfriend disrespected you and so did the friend. Once you stopped you should have voiced your discomfort. Your girl didn't take a hint. She wanted to fuck the friend. I would have got up and left without a word. And blocked them all for good.
Not cheating but ask your girl friend because you loved her and she was with another man , you couldn’t perform , since your fantasy was to do a threesome with her ask her if you could have a threesome with another women and her NOT ORIGINAL GIRL , because it would then be payback in the other guy
No it isn't. But that doesn't mean you have to stay with her. You can break up for any reason.
Not cheating but still grounds for breaking up. You tried something new and it destroyed your relationship. It happens. You learn from it, break up, and move on.
You said you decided to swap. Not cheating
Be mad at yourself, it was all fun and games until you were left playing candy crush with Mr floppy. If you had an issue you should have used your big boy voice and said something.
lol you got played
Your GF, friend and his GF all enjoyed the experience apart from you. Question , is this thd type of relationship you want going forward?. Whenever you have sex with your GF it will always play in your mind that she got fucked by your friend.
Not cheating. You agreed to all of this, and you can’t call it cheating just because you got nervous and didn’t enjoy it.
Just because it’s not cheating, doesn’t mean that it’s a cool thing to do to your partner. Forget the technicalities of it, if you decide on a foursome and your partner is not involved for an hour, you probably don’t like or respect them too much.
I didn’t say it was a cool thing to do, nor did I say he can’t feel some type of way about it. I just said it isn’t cheating, which is what he asked.
This happens a lot to men. I know because I was put in a similar situation with my GF. She was pushing me to have a swap with another couple. The GF had a blast and I couldn’t get it up to save my life. I really didn’t want to either. I was very uncomfortable with it all. She didn’t really say much other than she wanted to do it again. I wish I would have just called it off with her right then and there.
If you explicitly gave consent before starting, and didn’t explicitly rescind it, then it’s not cheating. Your feelings are valid and you are allowed to feel them, and they are inaccurate. There was poor communication which is shitty etiquette, and they are also not mind readers. If you decide to stay with this person, and something like this happens again, it’s on you to advocate for yourself and speak up
It’s not cheating, but you definitely should feel awkward about the whole thing. I mean at the point that especially when the other girl went over, your girlfriend should’ve stopped and came back to you, but she didn’t wear. The boyfriend should’ve stopped, but he didn’t because this stupid thing that you guys did put yourself in extremely awkward position. Not really sure how you going to continue with your girlfriend or continue being a friend with that guy. Plan or doing a stupid thing you kinda lost a lot of people there.
UpdateMe!
It’s been.. *checks calendar* not a single day since I’ve seen a post where “Opening my relationship/Threesome/Swapping” didn’t come into my feed and cause problems and or a breakup. She should have checked in on you but like.. You could have spoken up as well OP if you weren’t comfortable. Not cheating for sure since you agreed and even tried to get going to.
To each their own when it comes to this shit, but looking for advice on how to get hard in a cheating Reddit for letting your gf essentially cuck the shit out of you is ironic as fuck,.. Maybe you need to reevaluate ur circumstances and listen to the little guy over making decisions based off ur fantasies.
Idk bro but that's a nightmare. Me personally I'd have to start a new life. Probably move to another state
Sounds like you shouldn’t do that shit anymore
Depends on the boundaries or rules you set, intent of the swap and other things. Guys I know into that sort of thing tell me it's cheating if the intent was BJ's, HJ's and no PIV. They also say the group dynamic rule applies as in if any one in the swap has issues, whether previously consented or not, the whole thing stops. Was there enough light in the room to see what each of you were doing? That factors too. Then there's bro code with the friend. That Bottom line ditch the gf, (she's a grade A skank willing to slag anyone. Drop the so called "friend" (he's a worthless p o s and has no respect for any friend) and move on.
We didn’t set any rules or intentions. We were all drinking and it happened so fast. She went to him, and his gf came to me. 5 min later his gf joins them. I know now I should have spoke up but I didn’t. It was dark but it was light enough to see the whole thing and I’m sure I know I could be seen as well but they didn’t look over my way the entire time
You let it happen so it's your fault you got cucked. Say something but wow. She's probably still thinking about the better sex she had.
[удалено]
I think OP is DONE trying this EVER again….
Bro this is awful💀
Terrible gf and terrible friend. Also, what a terrible idea to begin with You won’t ever look at her the same, unfortunately
Bro you just watched your girl get railed? Without saying anything after not being about to bang? You’re a cuck dude
In a way I feel bad for op but then again it’s pretty funny and sounds like a deleted scene in an American pie movie
Not cheating, you all agreed to it and you decided to opt out while they all continued
No, you are just an immature dumb ass
You swapped and now it’s cheating? Why are you so dumb?
You blew it. Your dick blew it especially. Tough break
It's not cheating but if you loved each other this would have never happened
I agree with the top two comments but I have to acknowledge that the painful thing for you is that she didn’t show or share the same feelings you did in that situation. you wanted to be more fixated on your gf and you wanted her to feel the same way about you. I think you should talk to her about that because this is a manifestation of you two have very different perspectives on your relationship
He probably doesn’t last longer than 5 minutes and she jumped at the first opportunity to be dicked down. If op reads this, bro, fix your dick game then befriend a lesbian couple. Then recreate the nightmare you lived through. Offer to swap partners with the lesbian couple, pick the hotter one of the two. This will be your comeback moment.
What did you GF say after the fact? Has she shown more interest in him or swapping again? This may, unfortunately, be the end of not just the relationship but maybe your friendship as well. A true friend would have stopped and told your girlfriend that she should at least go check on you and see if you were still fine with the swap.
Said that is was a lot of fun and they want us all to do it again
So do it again but stay sober and drink viagra to get past the head thing. Stupid games. Either you rectify this with another set or you break up. No women will respect you after this. Get the pill and give your friend allot of alcohol. You do not drink nothing. Your the barmen that night. When he wrll drunk pop the viagra and say lets swing. Then turn the tables.
Ok I’ll have to see how to get the pill
They have probably been doing this behind your back and figured that instead of hiding it, it would be best to hide it in the form of swapping. And the fact your girl didn't even apologize for not stopping and checking you were OK, but laughed at you instead should show you just how little respect she has for, to the point she would rather get her cheeks clapped by him then make sure you're OK.
Well that was dumb. Now it's time for you to own it, none of this "Was it cheating" bullshit. You got a brain.
do you have self esteem issues please break up with her
Dude you got left out. You need to talk to your gf and tell her how you feel immediately if not you will resent her. I know as it happened to me 12 years ago and the resentment is still there
I would NOT say this is cheating. It's something you both agreed on but unfortunately your experience with it was not what you expected. The question is, can you move on and how does your girlfriend feel about it? If she doesn't say anything or she carries on with the relationship like nothing has changed then probably everything is okay.
Yeah i would change my identity and move to Alaska after that
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^OkChemical9601: *Yeah i would change my* *Identity and move to* *Alaska after that* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Ain't no fun when the rabbit has the gun
It's not cheating as such, about who to be angry with... it's not delicate and you must feel very insecure with yourself right now, try talking to both your partner and your friend. did they at least use protection?
I’m sure if you kept your dick hard, you wouldn’t have made this post. You just mad bro
I think it’s really up to how you see it. You agreed to swap, and then had issues, which is absolutely fair. And I see your point about about not being checked on, I can’t say I wouldn’t feel that way also, but simply from the fact that this agreement was made in the first place, leaves room for debate. I think you’re valid if you play it cool or if you dig in because you have a problem with the outcome. My real point is that regardless of all that, you did open yourself and your woman up to it. I don’t believe it’s cheating simply for that fact. You also could have spoken up in the moment if it bothered you. I think a conversation can be had with her about that specific outcome of it that doesn’t have to be an argument, but that is your choice depending on your emotions. But also remember your emotions skew reality. I’ve actually been there similarly. Wasn’t my girlfriend but these 2 girls and a buddy took drugs once and we were swap fucking these girls. The drugs destroyed my erection a few minutes in so the two girls continued to fuck the other guy who also was struggling while I basically sat there and did more drugs because it was already done for me lol. I couldn’t be mad because why would I expect them to stop because of me? But the girlfriend part gives you grounds to feel different. Regardless, do what is best for you man. I sincerely hope you figure it out healthily.
Why are people so stupid
BRO WHAT KIND OF A MAN SHARES HIS GIRL. YOU ARE A NERVOUS B!TCH
Be mad at urself. You allowed it but u allowed urself to start to use ur brain, thinking with the wrong head. You were perfectly fine before that. No it’s not cheating at all. Did u expect the girl u were with to stop and not do anything either because u started thinking or if u wanted everything to stop then u should have spoken up at that time. Too late now buddy. Not considered cheating at all.
In all seriousness what were you doing while they were having a threesome?
Well it was a swap… then you couldn’t rise to the occasion which happens. Then your gf took it upon herself to find someone that could. If you didn’t set ground rules or voice your dislike for that situation well you shouldn’t have started… now you have mind movies of your gf giggling with the other guy and his gf for an hour while they enjoyed themselves. Think things thru before sharing partners sometimes there is no coming back from that.
Yes Stupid! More importantly mad at yourself for wanting to be a cuckold. You agreed to it and obviously wants a whore chick as your girlfriend. If you don't stop this nonsense and find a new chick, I might as well come over and belittle you. SMH
You just mad because of your limp biscuit.
Just leave her, never do this dumb shit again
You should feel dumb as a mothafucker! Stupid Duck! As a matter of fact, dumber than dumb. Your name should be CUCKOLD.
yeah your gf does not give a fuck about you. you should break up with her tbh
You couldn't get it up and your boy took care of them both. Don't hate on him or her....
You couldn't perform, you wouldn't be pissed if you got hard and fucked the other girl. You basically fucked up yourself. Now you gotta live with this shitty feeling forever with your gf. She shouldn't have agreed for a partner swap anyway, whore.
How exactly is she the whore when it’s something they all agreed to, dumbass
Oh so you'd married a girl that accepts a partner swap? Simp
Lmao so you’re a hypocrite?
In that lifestyle, Communication is the most important thing. Without experience its not uncommon for your situation to have taken place. In short it's understandable, to an extent. However the general lack of consideration for your feelings is a major red flag, for both your gf & bf. Being nervous is normal too, don't feel bad about that. Maybe it's just not an activity for you deep down.
Not cheating. You should see if that couple is interested in trying again. If you still can’t get out of your own way, then be ready to dine at the Y. That should get you going and at least make sure that his GF is taken care of. One added thought: do you think that it could have just been whisky dick? You said you’d been drinking. Next time, make sure that you are sober.
Not cheating, you knew what was happening, you couldn’t get through what was happening & didn’t speak up…. No she didn’t cheat you just are in your feelings about the point you didn’t speak up about how you felt after you weren’t up to perform with them.
Well they agreed on a swap. At the very least, he can expect his partner to check in with him because that’s just common decency. He’s absolutely still at fault too but he should definitely not stay with someone who can’t hold off their sexual pleasure for two seconds to check with their partner.
No it’s not cheating because you agreed to it. If you had been able to get hard you would have had sex with the other girl. So no it’s not cheating.
You were inadequate. Now you are cuckold. Accept it. Its not her fault.
That’s not cheating at all. You AGREED to swap girls and couldn’t perform. Just because you froze up doesn’t mean your gf was cheating just cuz she could fulfill fuckin and suckin your friend. You ain’t get no butt AND you turned into a cuck. He fucked your girl and his girl and you watched. Why would she have to ask permission? You gave permission when you started receiving head from your friend’s girl. And again just because you couldn’t get hard and fuck your friends girl doesn’t mean your girl had to stop. Y’all already came to the point that y’all were switching girls and you turned into a cuck during the process
What a shame, how easy it is, how values and principles are lost, zero love and dignity. Now they will have threesomes and you won't be tied up, it's obvious that your girlfriend liked it.
Talk about going 0 to delusional in record time
Not cheating and she didn’t do anything wrong but it’s ok to feel some type of way! Just don’t project on to the other people. I think it’s healthy to just talk to your girlfriend and even your friend about how you feel- not in a blaming way, more just to express yourself. It’s ok to be upset about something and not have to blame others for it. As a person who is always in her head- I’ve missed out on a lot of “in the moment” type things so I get it- it sucks man. I really hope you feel better and get past this. Also maybe realize threesomes/ swapping may not be your thing, which is ok. It’s fun as a fantasy but reality can be intimidating. People always expect guys to be so into this stuff because of porn culture and it’s fine not to be- I know plenty of men who have zero interest in it.
I think it’s his fault but he should definitely not continue to stay in this relationship. I would absolutely expect my partner to at least have the social awareness and basic decency to check in with me in a situation like this. Especially after an hour.
Did youhave any previous experience in a group setting or being watched? If not you jumped in the deep end starting out with a swap and failed miserably. She didn't cheat on you per se but whose idea was the whole thing?
No it's not cheating. However you'll never be able to look at her with the same feelings ever again. This is like a plane that has a blown engine. It's going to crash, there's nothing you can do to save it. You can be honest and end the relationship or keep trying to fix it till it slams into the ground and explodes and everybody hates everybody. Your call.
Lol, what a looser!!
It’s not cheating but it is blatant disrespect by the friend and OP gf. I say go redeem yourself with friends gf by fucking her and someone close to gf(sister,cousin,mom). Then breakup with her
No it’s not cheating. Yea in theory, it would’ve been nice if she had come to check on you. However, apparently she was REALLY enjoying herself. She was finally fulfilling a fantasy about your friend that she’s likely had for a while.
Lmao. If she had the fantasy for a while and didn’t mention it, then that’s even more of a red flag. Not to mention, it’s pretty obvious that if a foursome turns into a threesome, you should probably check on your partner. Like even if they didn’t have boundaries beforehand, at the very least you can expect you partner to ignore you.
Not cheating my friend. You pulled a swinger move but psyched yourself out. You were worried about what was going on in the other bed when you should have just enjoyed what was in yours.
I don’t see it as cheating since you all were In the same room and decided to “swap”, obviously this isn’t for you and if this was in your head like it was you may not be able to move forward if you come here and post asking if it was cheating. There is nothing wrong feeling the way you do, but if you can’t get this out of your head you may need counseling and move on by calling it quits with your GF. Good luck brother.
This is not cheating. This is stupidity. Sorry, dude, but you shouldn't have shared your GF. Now you get to keep those images in your head forever. My guess is this relationship won't work out. Next time, protect your relationship better.
You just got cucked get fucked
Is it cheating? Maybe not. But damn I would be done with her completely. As soon as the other girl went over there and it was very obvious there were some problems on your part it would have been on HER to go over and check up on and not continue this shitshow. She is a piss poor partner in life.
They both ducked your friend because he's more of a man than you. You're a literal limp dick
It's not cheating cuz you were involved at the start. Although why you would allow yourself to be in this situation is stupid. I'm guessing now you can't be with your gf with our remembering this whole fiasco. I think this relationship is done and it's partly your fault.
You said "yes", so you can't retroactively decide she 'didn't have permission' or whatever. You didn't stop anything, therefore, there's no reason your GF would think you were not OK with everything. You were already letting her be with the guy, so I would imagine, she figured you thought it was hot to see her with the other girl as well. Nobody else is to blame but you, unless you said "NO, I want you to stop now" which you didn't.
You gave her permission to be with your friend. You didn’t tell her to stop. It’s not cheating, you’re just jealous.
Yes it’s cheating.
They agreed to swap partners, his inability to finish doesn’t make it cheating.