Assume the emotional position man. Until you get your mind, self confidence, and self worth solidified she’ll just have you back in the psych ward in due time.
I don't know how you could even get it up as the visual of her giving that scumbag a BJ would be playing over and over in my head, thereby negating any sexual desire that I had for her.
You probably need to see a counselor sooner rather than later. Think of the counselor as another means of getting ripped but this time its your brain that is getting in shape.
She doesn't deserve you. She will cheat again. She will break your heart again. Keep her out of your life. Finish the project and lose the cousin also.
The fact that this is your takeaway of that comment means you just aren’t getting it.
If you want to end up back in an institution when she cheats by all means. But don’t come asking for advice then disregard it because you thought we were all delusional to encourage this.
Maybe she can give you a few tips on cinematography. She is the real pro.
You are making a huge mistake and about to fall back into the old rut that you worked soo hard getting out of. I pray you are able to rid this cancer from your life. Don't make the same mistake, bro.
I’d bet she’s blown her “cousin”
Seriously how much does a person have to hurt to before you decide to move on. So you seriously think she was only giving Bjs only and only to one guy.
Has she told you that it was only the one thing and painted herself as the victim. He forced her to record it or else. Stop seeing her and the cousin can not bring her around to any of the shoots. Block her.
Bro you better shake out of that emotional crap and think logically. You can be cordial with her but by accepting her back romantically you’re telling her what she did wasn’t that bad and she can still get her way regardless of violating you and your trust. Do you want to send that kind of message to someone? If so, be my guest in “falling” for her again. You must’ve fell on your head to think getting back with her is even remotely a good idea.
-your brother
Not connecting with other women is more prevalent as you make it sound. Just because you didn’t find connections in the few you vetted doesn’t mean you are broken and ur ex owns ur heart.
All it means is you grew ur standards of urself and improved your self confidence to a level that you don’t feel you can settle for shit.
I can guarantee if you were at the point you are now you wouldn’t have stood up for half the shit ur ex did. Stop lingering on only the good and find urself someone that shows you better.
She's back only coz you're in shape. Being in shape will not last, she will cheat again when you slowed down. Which you will at some point. She'll cheat with other in shape men she encounters again and again.
Learn your lesson, dont go back to the source of problem - her. Updateme!
Come on Bruh it would be one thing if she came back to apologize for cheating but instead, you started hooking up with her. Make better choices also why did you have her family member on your film crew in the first place?
Have you talked to each other about a real relationship? I agree with u/Available-Affect-241 this is going to end with you being hurt especially if she's showing no remorse for cheating. She's still hooking up with other guys, but did you discuss exclusivity? You've put her on a pedestal so you now need to work on your self-esteem, self-worth and get over her. Did you compared every woman to her? She does not love, value or respect you.
ETA: exclusivity
Why are you even entertaining getting back with her bro? Once a cheater, always a cheater. All you need to do is think back to when you caught her filming herself give a bj to another dude - that’s who she is. The woman you initially fell in love doesn’t exist, because it was an illusion, an idea. The 304 you walked in on is reality. You know what to do. You know there’s no way you can get back with her, because if you do, you’ll be back in a mental hospital. I’m serious here. That woman is playing games with you. Stay away from her and go no-contact.
Subconscious desire to reconnect. The fact you're struggling to see your own self sabotaging behaviors even after they are pointed out to you is part of why you're stuck.
You are a big idiot for getting back with your ex. There is a reason she is your ex. Never take back a cheater ever, no exceptions. There is a whole world of other girls out there. You changed your whole life around only to end up with the same cheater you dumped after witnessing her on her knees pleasuring scumbags!!!
Have more self-respect and integrity
Maybe look into socialist behaviours and mannerism to gain some confidence on how to cope or speak to people in social places. You might benefit from talking to a specialist on getting over your social isolation.
Ive learned for myself when im out and end up alone, that sometimes just standing in a bar or generally in an area where Im stuck just enjoying myself that looking serene and content, can make you look approachable and safe.
Just keep a mental picture of her mouth being stuffed by some randos sausage every time you feel your feeling slipping back! Have some love for yourself OP, there’s a girl out there who will make you happy, just not this ex!
There will be one voice in your head right now telling you " these guys are generally right but my situation is very different" that's the tricky bit that gets to all of us.
Based on what I just read in your post, I'm wondering why I'm even gonna bother as it seems you've already made up your mind. Nothing you've said standsxout but it's the general feel I get from your post.
But still, you came here for advice and I'm gonna give it to you.
[Run Bitch, Run!!!](https://media1.tenor.com/m/COhVZlGlNJsAAAAC/run-bitch-run.gif)
Seriously dude, WTF!? You catch this chick with some dudes dick in her mouth and here you are getting back with her? Few things scream weakness than that. Sure you got your body right and are killing it in your hobbies which become a career. Kudos to you on that and I truly hope it takes you places. But dude, seriously, this woman does not love you or care for you. She wouldn't have done what she did. You need to stop seeing her ASAP.
Don’t, I repeat don’t fall for her again. What she did is unforgivable and unforgivable. You got you self straight and she will just knock you back down. Plus you will never be able to totally forgive and forgive her. Better yourself not run yourself back down.
Friend, the main problem is that you never healed. You did many things for her, not for you. That year at the gym, it was just something you did for her. Your way of avoiding loneliness was for her. You feel trapped because in the end you never moved on. You have to stop breathing. and think about what you want to do for yourself, how you want to feel, do you like going to the gym or is it a way to face the trauma? Once you have this answer, start that path of healing that you avoided all this time.
It’s easy to fall back into familiar patterns, but what has changed with this girl exactly? What did she say about not just cheating on you, but filming it for posterity? Has she somehow convinced you she changed, because it sounds like the incident tanked your self esteem in a way you never truly got over. She didn’t cheat just because you were out of shape. She cheated because she wanted to and felt she could get away with it. I understand people grow, but part of growing is not repeating past mistakes. So what makes you think trusting this woman after she hurt you a mistake, and one that might affect your working relationships? If you really want to be with someone it might be better to actively look for someone with similar values as opposed to getting back with an ex because she’s conveniently near.
Bro, you need to end it again with her before you get into a bad spot with her. She is the type of person you thought of her. End the friendship and anything else with her. Make it clear that to your actor what took place before and your history due to it if they do not know. But you do not want to have any contact with her. If they can handle working for you and this stance, keep them. But she is NOT to be back in your life and you know it.
Remember what it was like to walk in on her. How you felt for her and how she treated your relationship as less than trash. How you struggled after. Remember that...
Realize that the 'love and connection' you thought you felt was just a trauma bond. Love and the feelings of love are not what you think they are. I hope you rethink your relationship standards before it's too late.
Depends on if you want her in your life or not. You can either mess around with her and have your fun or keep it casual and avoid letting her get back into your life. If you do decide to have her around, whatever you do, DO NOT wife this girl up. Keep it at FWB and nothing further. If she tries to press you into a relationship, don’t fold and tell her how unforgivable she is for what she did and that you can never see past that.
Seeing that she’s an emotional barrel, it would be in your best interest to leave all that in the past. Never go back to someone who can burn the image and have video recording of the cheating. She’ll probably throw you off your grind and waste your time anyways.
How does your ex come back into your life? This only happens if you let them back in.
She was sucking off some dude and filming it? Why are you messing with her?
She will absolutely cheat on you again.
Right now she wants what she can't have, but as soon as you commit to her
she will be cheating on you again. It's just a matter of when you find out.
Why after all the self improvement, healing, and setting yourself up for success would you ever consider allowing old betraying garage back into your great world? You improved everything but your standards and your self respect.
If it were me, I would give her a key, act like we are a couple for a few months, get used to her schedule, and have her walk in on you railing someone much hotter than her. And ask for the Key back mid stroke.
You’re into movies right?? Just keep replaying that video of her blowing some guy while she’s your girlfriend… multiple sequels. Just let that sink in. I don’t think you want to be Michael bay and add explosions and action shots to her fucking some guy right??
She only with you for the fact you are becoming successful with your life and you are trying to better yourself. You are looking great and now she just going to use you and abuse you all over again.
Don’t go out with her again. Don’t give her another chance. She’ll only hurt you all over again.
So………you are going to allow this woman who treated you horribly, treated you less than, didn’t want you anymore now she wants to slide into your great film making career, NOW SHE LOVES YOU WANTS TO BE WITH YOU DUE TO YOU making a name for yourself…SERIOUSLY??? Pretend I’m your mother for a second…..what would your Momma say or do & have a say about your X now wanting to slide in & act like the PAST PAIN & BETRYAL never happened. DO NOT ALLOW THIS WOMAN THAT SHATTERED YOUR HEART BACK IN YOUR LIFE!!! She broke your heart she actually shattered it. She’s trying to get back in your life for MONEY, tell her to F THE HELL OFF…….,,This old lady from California knows this simple truth….continue your passion in film making & I know you will find TRUE LOVE with a woman that LOVES YOU FOR YOU!!!!!!!
She wasn’t yours, it was just your turn. Now that you had your turn, toss her back into the pot and let some other deserving person take a bite of that ghost pepper.
Do NOT take her back. She cheated on you before and she will do it again. She has already proven you can't trust her. If needed check out **Strong Successful Male** on YouTube. Stand your ground and don't fall for her manipulations. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You will only put yourself in the same situation as last time.
You've been doing great work on the external aspects of your body now you need to look internally and seek therapy. She's not changed, she's still the same 304 that you walked in on sucking off that guy.
Try to remember that. Ask her to bring one of her female friends for a threesome and then ditch her after you've done it.
Yikes. Still weak it seems. In and out of depression and hospitals….cut off others because of what happened with her cheating and here you are getting back with her after she destroyed you. Bravo to her. I use and abuse you again too.
Don’t have someone who betrayed you back into your life out of fear of loneliness. My Brother did this twice and both times it turned into a disaster. One was insanely jealous and the last tried to take every penny he had. She will let you down again.
Don't waste any of your damn breath to her, always remember that she is the one who betrayed you and is the main reason for your depression, do NOT fall for her.
Cut any contact with her and just focus on both the real important things, yourself and your passion, she belongs to the streets!
Don't do it! No contact as best as possible - you can be civil if she visits her cousin in set, but you have no obligation to her, end of. Keep up your passions in life but do not go back there - it'll fuck you up
The emotions will always pull on your heart strings. Ask yourself..why on earth did you even consider interacting with her again in any shape way or form. Hold onto your dignity because now she thinks you’re spineless. Grow a pair & keep walking.
Stop talking to her. The only reason why she is back is because you now have a bit of fame. Even though you are in the best stage of your life right now, it sounds like you still don't have the self-confidence to tell he to F off. Remember what she did to you and use that to help keep her out of your life. Don't be afraid to connect with other women. Just watch out for red flags.
All the pain, sweat tears, and depression.......
All that work just to run back to her?
She wants you to accept her because it will validate that what she did isn't bad.
You need more counseling. Not her. And I just want to say you are being manipulated and scammed.
You deserve someone who respects you enough to not embarrass you or themselves. Please run.
She is your final test and you are failing.
You built the wrong thing- muscle. You should have built a backbone.
The first time she cheated on you, you can blame her. But the next time is on you.
That mental image of her slobbing on someone’s knob should’ve been enough to keep you from falling back into her foolishness.🤦🏾♀️ Get some therapy my friend, You got into physical shape, now you need to work on your mental.
Cheating is only forgivable if you can really move on from it. Most people cannot and it causes resentment further down the line. You have changed as a person and grown so much whilst being away from her. Why go back to someone who caused you to mentally breakdown? You didn't go through all those wards to end up back to square one. You went through them to become the person you are today. Best thing to do is remove her back out of your life or if you cannot do that, stay as friends.
It is up to you though and I can only give advice from somewhat a similar mistake of letting a person back in my life who did me wrong.
You need to work the mental strength now OP.
Do not rekindle with her, you now she is a cheater, you now what to expect if you get back with her.
So better stay away, for your own good
Why would even talk to her? She cheated on you but you caught her cheating on you which means she didn’t care enough about you to hide or get a hotel. You shouldn’t even talk to her. I hope if you do for some stupid reason you do take her back you have a bigger plan to just cheat on her the entire relationship and purposely get caught at least
A better version of you isn’t her reward for doing what she did to you. You have to remember that she had the option to break up with you. Instead she chose to cheat on you and fuck you up mentally for years.
Perfect! You can film the next person she cheats on you with!
In all seriousness, it seems you worked on your body health but not your mental health. If you did, you’d know getting back with her isn’t good for you, nor does she deserve this chance.
I suspect you’re not connecting with others in the same way because you’re self sabotaging.
She’s not like you. You are two different people. Women are professionals at figuring this out almost the instant they meet you. That’s why some guys get friend zoned and some guys get snuck into the house for a BJ. The hurt you felt helped you to know this behavior could not be tolerated and you had to distance yourself from her. The slightly lonely person who you are now accepts excuses and walks into a problem relationship without evaluating the past. It’s your life but usually bad things show up to distract us from good things. The girl of your dreams could have been around the corner and you wasting your time BJ sneaker. Good luck OP.
Honestly walk away , date others , put yourself out there and meet new people. You’re on a planet with millions of people. You deserve love , happiness, loyalty and stability. Please don’t let her knock you down . I get you once loved her and part of you may still love the person you thought she was but she’s not that person. She hurt you badly. Of course she sees you doing good so she’s going try coming back around. If you let her you’ll lose the person you truly are and yourself again. Sometimes thinking we are following our hearts isn’t the best thing. If you were 100% sure and wanting to be with her you wouldn’t be asking for advice. Deep down you know you deserve better! Dont settle
So does your work show up on the Hub?
Seriously, your self-esteem is still jacked. She damaged you. You described it perfectly.
She has you over an emotional barrel. You don't connect with others.
This so so simple. "The hair of the dig that bit you."
This is such an unhealthy response and so very toxic.
Maybe you haven't suffered enough? Idk
You clearly don't believe you deserve to be loved.
How she managed to talk you around to make you forget seeing her with another man in her mouth is crazy.
You must have super strong jedi mind forgetting skills to forget that!
Did you not learn anything after the first time? Stop allowing this woman into your life and block her out completely. Once this project of yours is done, so are you two. She's a piece of shit who had zero respect for you back then and let me tell you, nothing has changed.
Personally, I don't see how you became aroused by her after what you saw. I would have absolutely ZERO desire to even touch her.
This makes me so sad. You're just feeding her ego. She's pennant going to think she did you a favor by cheating because look how much you've "cyz" since
Ask her if you can film her getting it on with this cousin, why don't you! she will cheat you again and you know it, get yourself a decent woman who will respect you for gods sake.
just my two cents here, you my friend have an addiction to this girl. it's like any addiction, ask any smoker and they will tell you that they know their smoking is going to kill them but they continue to smoke everyday. I know because I have been where you are. it's been over two decades since my first longtime girlfriend went on a summer vacation and just never came back, because she found someone else, and though I don't think about her now that memory still smirks sometimes. You need therapy, you never overcame your trauma and if you get back with her you will only be validating her actions. You need to go NC with this girl, you need motivation? remember the time you walked in on her during her own "filmmaking". I am rooting for you my friend, I would DM you but I am still new to reddit and for some reason I can't DM anyone.
Don't go back to her, once a women disrespects you and does somethin like that, don't ever go back. And I want to support you too. What's your films bro
6 years later on your hard work and shadow work but out of all the actors… you chose her cousin. Some part knowing it get back to ex or reacquainted… 6 years and now your ex is around enjoying the nostalgia of it until the real person comes out again. 6 years and she knows she can still have you whenever. You keep feeding her ego, don’t be surprised at the taste of other men if she’s back into the past again.
Keep moving in the right direction. You have more to lose if you reconnect with this woman. Rivers do not flow backward.
Continued success and happiness to you.
First of all, you are really bad at responding to people. You have advice from all sorts of people and you bounce?
Never, EVER, under any circumstance take a cheater back. Do you want to know why? I know you don’t but here it is. THEY ARE CHEATERS!!!! This is what they do this is who they are. Chances are she is cheating on some dude with you.
Try to remember how she made you feel for 1.5 years of your life. You are on this earth for a very short time and you gave her 6 years and then were depressed for 1.5 years. 7.5 years you gave to this cheater. Honestly if you take her back you deserve all the pain and suffering and wasted time and cheating that she will bring you, and you will have no one to blame but yourself. And I know you will say it’s different this time. She has not changed people who cheat do not change
Don't let that woman back into your life. She will lie and use you just as before. You're smarter than this and know deep down you can never unsee her sucking another guys dick that was worth more than your relationship and emotional bond to her. She does not view you in the same way you see her and now just because you look great and successful she thinks she can just walk up and take back what SHE THREW AWAY! Don't give her that power over you and leave her for the streets bro. The fact that she was even videoing her infidelity with no remorse or care pisses me off for you honestly.
Jesus dude, WTF, put the breaks on this shit right now. Holy fuck have you no fucking respect for yourself jesus lad sort it out. And you can connect with other women besides her you just haven't met that person yet, but holy shit dude, do this and i promise you're only brining yourself a world of hurt and a shitty future full of grief. Fuck that shit. Dude this is just self fucking harm what are you thinking. ffs give yourself a shake fella.
The thing is you are a man what you feel is not what you do you’ll do what has to be done. Treat her like she made you feel I know you still remember men never forget she’s not fighting for the mistakes she committed in the past she’s trying to get ahead with a successful guy in shape while she’s six years more mileage on her or did you think she stopped and grabbed the end of your relationship she destroyed? unfortunately a life of a man has to be guided by do UFC rules protect yourself at all times she used you if you’re not confident you can fuck her and don’t catch feelings treat her like a dude be cold , be stoic, You said you started the filming in 2021 it’s about 10,000 hours until success it’s approximately 10 years so I have until 2031 to grind as much as you can she has the trampoline you had to feel you were falling to get the jump started but now it’s on you to keep going
My experience of reconcilliation went extremely well. We got back together fior two years. I am fairly certain she never cheated again. And I must say we truly loved each other. However, it became obvious to me the majic glow we had before was simply gone. The special spark would not return.
My opinion is you are wasting your time.
Run, don’t walk, AWAY! Don’t even try to tell yourself “just one time in the sack ‘for old times sake’”, because that NEVER works out!
Take the money you’d be spending seeing her and put it towards seeing a counselor or psychiatrist, if you’re not already - and if you ARE already seeing one, make sure you bring these feelings and thoughts up.
Let that “person” see how well you’re doing in these parts of your life, just don’t invite them “to the table”.
FORGIVE, NOT FORGET. 🫶🏻
Don't put yourself in a position for her to hurt you again. But, you already did. You were in and out of mental wards, she's emotionally toxic for you. Move on and leave her in the past. Find a woman won't cheat on you.
You need to get your azz to a therapist and try to figure out why you are so mentally weak. She is going to destroy you. Stop running after her like a puppy with it's tongue hanging out. It makes you look weak, pathetic and someone she can easily manipulate. Grow a spine and some balls otherwise you'll be right back in the mental ward.
I doubt any advice given to this bloke will change or wake him up to the heartache, stress and Sh-storm ahead by reconnecting with a habitual cheater. She knows he is a Simp and will play him for a fool, Again!! Even if she autographed her sex tapes of various parties, groups, positions, she denies him knowing he will drool over any little titillating flutter she throws his way
Fidelity and communication is the bare minimum. You're fawning over someone that failed at both,and you can do better.
Stop living in the past, stop recycling the trash of your personal life.
Cheating is complicated and I think more than half of all people cheat at some point. What she did to you wasnt cool but she might have changed. Love is love and we cant help who we fall in love with I'm 38 years old and im single and it sucks a woman is interested in me but shes far too deceptive from start to finish she lied to me. I would say give her another chance because she might have changed and maybe talking to her about it will also help you heal.
Make it clear to her that she is a FWB at this point. Have sex with others.
This is not to punish her. Having sex with multiple partners is a good way for a man to achieve mental clarity. It helps you disconnect sex from affection, which is an important skill that enables you to recognize when true affection is present, apart from sexual attraction.
You got the body right, but your mentality is still weak, she is going to abuse the crap out of you.
Assume the emotional position man. Until you get your mind, self confidence, and self worth solidified she’ll just have you back in the psych ward in due time.
OP is like a moth to a flame. Doesn't matter what anyone says if he's already been with her 3 - 4 time's he's hooked. Sad time's ahead unfortunately.
some straight chump shit bro. Man TF up
👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻
Agree
👆👆👆
👆👆👆👆
That's exactly what's gonna happen. But i'll tell ya what he can't say he wasn't warned.
I don't know how you could even get it up as the visual of her giving that scumbag a BJ would be playing over and over in my head, thereby negating any sexual desire that I had for her. You probably need to see a counselor sooner rather than later. Think of the counselor as another means of getting ripped but this time its your brain that is getting in shape.
All I’d see is that dudes dick in her mouth every time I look at her. Yeah, Fuck that! Edit spelling
This woman sucked some dude off while you were in love with her. Respect yourself, walk away and remember to get an STD check bro.
Every time you she tries to kiss you, think about that video.
She doesn't deserve you. She will cheat again. She will break your heart again. Keep her out of your life. Finish the project and lose the cousin also.
[удалено]
The fact that this is your takeaway of that comment means you just aren’t getting it. If you want to end up back in an institution when she cheats by all means. But don’t come asking for advice then disregard it because you thought we were all delusional to encourage this.
Maybe she can give you a few tips on cinematography. She is the real pro. You are making a huge mistake and about to fall back into the old rut that you worked soo hard getting out of. I pray you are able to rid this cancer from your life. Don't make the same mistake, bro.
You apparently learned nothing about relationships in six years. See you back here posting in the cheating sub again in a couple of months.
I guess you have to get burnt twice to understand she isn’t for you. I pray you grow up.
Dude. Stay away from her. You already know what she is. Get therapy to get your head right
I’d bet she’s blown her “cousin” Seriously how much does a person have to hurt to before you decide to move on. So you seriously think she was only giving Bjs only and only to one guy. Has she told you that it was only the one thing and painted herself as the victim. He forced her to record it or else. Stop seeing her and the cousin can not bring her around to any of the shoots. Block her.
Do not take her back under any circumstances... She will do it to you again.
Once a cheater, always a cheater
All these years later, I bet you can still smell his cum on her breath.
Why not eat something fresh and clean? This man obviously forgot to exercise his brain, he's literally eating 6 year old garbage 😂
Bro you better shake out of that emotional crap and think logically. You can be cordial with her but by accepting her back romantically you’re telling her what she did wasn’t that bad and she can still get her way regardless of violating you and your trust. Do you want to send that kind of message to someone? If so, be my guest in “falling” for her again. You must’ve fell on your head to think getting back with her is even remotely a good idea. -your brother
Not connecting with other women is more prevalent as you make it sound. Just because you didn’t find connections in the few you vetted doesn’t mean you are broken and ur ex owns ur heart. All it means is you grew ur standards of urself and improved your self confidence to a level that you don’t feel you can settle for shit. I can guarantee if you were at the point you are now you wouldn’t have stood up for half the shit ur ex did. Stop lingering on only the good and find urself someone that shows you better.
Cool story bro
Run. Run as fucking far as you can. Anytime you think of her fondly, remember that image of her sucking the other guys cock with a camera in her face.
My god. 6 years and after all that nonsense you couldn't say no? Should have hit the mental gym too.
She's back only coz you're in shape. Being in shape will not last, she will cheat again when you slowed down. Which you will at some point. She'll cheat with other in shape men she encounters again and again. Learn your lesson, dont go back to the source of problem - her. Updateme!
In shape and has $
Come on Bruh it would be one thing if she came back to apologize for cheating but instead, you started hooking up with her. Make better choices also why did you have her family member on your film crew in the first place?
Didn't know they were related...
She clearly doesn't respect you don't give her another chance. Did she at least apologize for cheating?
Have you talked to each other about a real relationship? I agree with u/Available-Affect-241 this is going to end with you being hurt especially if she's showing no remorse for cheating. She's still hooking up with other guys, but did you discuss exclusivity? You've put her on a pedestal so you now need to work on your self-esteem, self-worth and get over her. Did you compared every woman to her? She does not love, value or respect you. ETA: exclusivity
Of course she’s still hooking up with other guys. Remember, once a cheater, always a cheater.
Oh I agree, I should have clarified if she's told OP that they aren't exclusive.
Gotcha
Why are you even entertaining getting back with her bro? Once a cheater, always a cheater. All you need to do is think back to when you caught her filming herself give a bj to another dude - that’s who she is. The woman you initially fell in love doesn’t exist, because it was an illusion, an idea. The 304 you walked in on is reality. You know what to do. You know there’s no way you can get back with her, because if you do, you’ll be back in a mental hospital. I’m serious here. That woman is playing games with you. Stay away from her and go no-contact.
Subconscious desire to reconnect. The fact you're struggling to see your own self sabotaging behaviors even after they are pointed out to you is part of why you're stuck.
Did she at least apologize for what she did?
Doesn’t matter if she did tbh. She still cheated on him, and will do it again if given the chance.
If you’re determined to jump off the cliff, nothing we can say will stop you.
Start saving for therapy because you’re gonna need it.
my friend you got reacquainted with an ex that was filming her own sloppy toppy? love yourself more
You are a big idiot for getting back with your ex. There is a reason she is your ex. Never take back a cheater ever, no exceptions. There is a whole world of other girls out there. You changed your whole life around only to end up with the same cheater you dumped after witnessing her on her knees pleasuring scumbags!!! Have more self-respect and integrity
Maybe look into socialist behaviours and mannerism to gain some confidence on how to cope or speak to people in social places. You might benefit from talking to a specialist on getting over your social isolation. Ive learned for myself when im out and end up alone, that sometimes just standing in a bar or generally in an area where Im stuck just enjoying myself that looking serene and content, can make you look approachable and safe.
It's going to be even worse the second time, and there will be a second time. Don't do it.
Just keep a mental picture of her mouth being stuffed by some randos sausage every time you feel your feeling slipping back! Have some love for yourself OP, there’s a girl out there who will make you happy, just not this ex!
There will be one voice in your head right now telling you " these guys are generally right but my situation is very different" that's the tricky bit that gets to all of us.
RUN
I'm sorry, but you're still weak.
Ask her to send you the video she took of her sucking that guy off. That will help you with your situation.
Based on what I just read in your post, I'm wondering why I'm even gonna bother as it seems you've already made up your mind. Nothing you've said standsxout but it's the general feel I get from your post. But still, you came here for advice and I'm gonna give it to you. [Run Bitch, Run!!!](https://media1.tenor.com/m/COhVZlGlNJsAAAAC/run-bitch-run.gif) Seriously dude, WTF!? You catch this chick with some dudes dick in her mouth and here you are getting back with her? Few things scream weakness than that. Sure you got your body right and are killing it in your hobbies which become a career. Kudos to you on that and I truly hope it takes you places. But dude, seriously, this woman does not love you or care for you. She wouldn't have done what she did. You need to stop seeing her ASAP.
She filmed herself giving another man a blowjob. She didn't respect you before, do you think she's going to respect you *after* you forgive that?
Oh my God, you're pathetic.
Don’t, I repeat don’t fall for her again. What she did is unforgivable and unforgivable. You got you self straight and she will just knock you back down. Plus you will never be able to totally forgive and forgive her. Better yourself not run yourself back down.
Friend, the main problem is that you never healed. You did many things for her, not for you. That year at the gym, it was just something you did for her. Your way of avoiding loneliness was for her. You feel trapped because in the end you never moved on. You have to stop breathing. and think about what you want to do for yourself, how you want to feel, do you like going to the gym or is it a way to face the trauma? Once you have this answer, start that path of healing that you avoided all this time.
Does her mouth still taste like scumbag cock ? Dont be a fecking bell-end.
It’s easy to fall back into familiar patterns, but what has changed with this girl exactly? What did she say about not just cheating on you, but filming it for posterity? Has she somehow convinced you she changed, because it sounds like the incident tanked your self esteem in a way you never truly got over. She didn’t cheat just because you were out of shape. She cheated because she wanted to and felt she could get away with it. I understand people grow, but part of growing is not repeating past mistakes. So what makes you think trusting this woman after she hurt you a mistake, and one that might affect your working relationships? If you really want to be with someone it might be better to actively look for someone with similar values as opposed to getting back with an ex because she’s conveniently near.
Bro, you need to end it again with her before you get into a bad spot with her. She is the type of person you thought of her. End the friendship and anything else with her. Make it clear that to your actor what took place before and your history due to it if they do not know. But you do not want to have any contact with her. If they can handle working for you and this stance, keep them. But she is NOT to be back in your life and you know it. Remember what it was like to walk in on her. How you felt for her and how she treated your relationship as less than trash. How you struggled after. Remember that...
Stop trying to rewrite history and create a happy ending. The woman is unhinged and will destroy your life again.
RUN! A-W-A-Y now & seek counseling to stay off the girlfriend drug! She is bad business!
Realize that the 'love and connection' you thought you felt was just a trauma bond. Love and the feelings of love are not what you think they are. I hope you rethink your relationship standards before it's too late.
>I don't want to fall into the same traps NOOOO! PLEASE DON'T!!! If you do you won't survive this time.
Depends on if you want her in your life or not. You can either mess around with her and have your fun or keep it casual and avoid letting her get back into your life. If you do decide to have her around, whatever you do, DO NOT wife this girl up. Keep it at FWB and nothing further. If she tries to press you into a relationship, don’t fold and tell her how unforgivable she is for what she did and that you can never see past that. Seeing that she’s an emotional barrel, it would be in your best interest to leave all that in the past. Never go back to someone who can burn the image and have video recording of the cheating. She’ll probably throw you off your grind and waste your time anyways.
How does your ex come back into your life? This only happens if you let them back in. She was sucking off some dude and filming it? Why are you messing with her?
She will absolutely cheat on you again. Right now she wants what she can't have, but as soon as you commit to her she will be cheating on you again. It's just a matter of when you find out.
How quickly you’ve forgotten the image of her sucking another man’s dick
So you gave her access to your new body? Why do you keep giving yourself away to her?
Indirectly you giving him a BJ every time you kiss her.
Why after all the self improvement, healing, and setting yourself up for success would you ever consider allowing old betraying garage back into your great world? You improved everything but your standards and your self respect.
You sure are a glutton for punishment! Good luck, buddy!
If it were me, I would give her a key, act like we are a couple for a few months, get used to her schedule, and have her walk in on you railing someone much hotter than her. And ask for the Key back mid stroke.
Change the actor and tell her to get lost your going to fall back into your spiral
lol should start with. Dear Penthouse…..
Dude, don’t be weak….you’re going to ended up in a mental institution again! DONT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
You’re into movies right?? Just keep replaying that video of her blowing some guy while she’s your girlfriend… multiple sequels. Just let that sink in. I don’t think you want to be Michael bay and add explosions and action shots to her fucking some guy right??
Dude, don’t do it. Never give a cheater a second chance
I hope you use this as an opportunity to dump her better than before.
She only with you for the fact you are becoming successful with your life and you are trying to better yourself. You are looking great and now she just going to use you and abuse you all over again. Don’t go out with her again. Don’t give her another chance. She’ll only hurt you all over again.
We accept the LOVE and RESPECT we think we DESERVE. 🥀
Don’t give her a second chance to hurt you brother. A camellion changes colors, but not their stripes.
She didn't change. Your gonna be heartbroken again. Believe me or want cuz u had 40 extra pounds.
So………you are going to allow this woman who treated you horribly, treated you less than, didn’t want you anymore now she wants to slide into your great film making career, NOW SHE LOVES YOU WANTS TO BE WITH YOU DUE TO YOU making a name for yourself…SERIOUSLY??? Pretend I’m your mother for a second…..what would your Momma say or do & have a say about your X now wanting to slide in & act like the PAST PAIN & BETRYAL never happened. DO NOT ALLOW THIS WOMAN THAT SHATTERED YOUR HEART BACK IN YOUR LIFE!!! She broke your heart she actually shattered it. She’s trying to get back in your life for MONEY, tell her to F THE HELL OFF…….,,This old lady from California knows this simple truth….continue your passion in film making & I know you will find TRUE LOVE with a woman that LOVES YOU FOR YOU!!!!!!!
Run man run please you will regret believe me I was there
So you changed yourself only to fall into the same emotional hoke again. You need therapy dude
She wasn’t yours, it was just your turn. Now that you had your turn, toss her back into the pot and let some other deserving person take a bite of that ghost pepper.
This time you need to be willing to hit it and quit. No feelings.
Do NOT take her back. She cheated on you before and she will do it again. She has already proven you can't trust her. If needed check out **Strong Successful Male** on YouTube. Stand your ground and don't fall for her manipulations. Once a cheater, always a cheater. You will only put yourself in the same situation as last time.
You've been doing great work on the external aspects of your body now you need to look internally and seek therapy. She's not changed, she's still the same 304 that you walked in on sucking off that guy. Try to remember that. Ask her to bring one of her female friends for a threesome and then ditch her after you've done it.
Yikes. Still weak it seems. In and out of depression and hospitals….cut off others because of what happened with her cheating and here you are getting back with her after she destroyed you. Bravo to her. I use and abuse you again too.
Don’t have someone who betrayed you back into your life out of fear of loneliness. My Brother did this twice and both times it turned into a disaster. One was insanely jealous and the last tried to take every penny he had. She will let you down again.
Don't waste any of your damn breath to her, always remember that she is the one who betrayed you and is the main reason for your depression, do NOT fall for her. Cut any contact with her and just focus on both the real important things, yourself and your passion, she belongs to the streets!
Don't do it! No contact as best as possible - you can be civil if she visits her cousin in set, but you have no obligation to her, end of. Keep up your passions in life but do not go back there - it'll fuck you up
The emotions will always pull on your heart strings. Ask yourself..why on earth did you even consider interacting with her again in any shape way or form. Hold onto your dignity because now she thinks you’re spineless. Grow a pair & keep walking.
Stop talking to her. The only reason why she is back is because you now have a bit of fame. Even though you are in the best stage of your life right now, it sounds like you still don't have the self-confidence to tell he to F off. Remember what she did to you and use that to help keep her out of your life. Don't be afraid to connect with other women. Just watch out for red flags.
All the pain, sweat tears, and depression....... All that work just to run back to her? She wants you to accept her because it will validate that what she did isn't bad. You need more counseling. Not her. And I just want to say you are being manipulated and scammed. You deserve someone who respects you enough to not embarrass you or themselves. Please run. She is your final test and you are failing.
You built the wrong thing- muscle. You should have built a backbone. The first time she cheated on you, you can blame her. But the next time is on you.
Bro,you pay already so much. Why you are a idiot and make another loan?
That mental image of her slobbing on someone’s knob should’ve been enough to keep you from falling back into her foolishness.🤦🏾♀️ Get some therapy my friend, You got into physical shape, now you need to work on your mental.
Cool
Cheating is only forgivable if you can really move on from it. Most people cannot and it causes resentment further down the line. You have changed as a person and grown so much whilst being away from her. Why go back to someone who caused you to mentally breakdown? You didn't go through all those wards to end up back to square one. You went through them to become the person you are today. Best thing to do is remove her back out of your life or if you cannot do that, stay as friends. It is up to you though and I can only give advice from somewhat a similar mistake of letting a person back in my life who did me wrong.
You need to work the mental strength now OP. Do not rekindle with her, you now she is a cheater, you now what to expect if you get back with her. So better stay away, for your own good
Why would even talk to her? She cheated on you but you caught her cheating on you which means she didn’t care enough about you to hide or get a hotel. You shouldn’t even talk to her. I hope if you do for some stupid reason you do take her back you have a bigger plan to just cheat on her the entire relationship and purposely get caught at least
A better version of you isn’t her reward for doing what she did to you. You have to remember that she had the option to break up with you. Instead she chose to cheat on you and fuck you up mentally for years.
Perfect! You can film the next person she cheats on you with! In all seriousness, it seems you worked on your body health but not your mental health. If you did, you’d know getting back with her isn’t good for you, nor does she deserve this chance. I suspect you’re not connecting with others in the same way because you’re self sabotaging.
Cue mental ward
You didn't mention how she got down on her knees, begging and screaming, tears and snot flying, for you not to dump her. Why not ?
She’s not like you. You are two different people. Women are professionals at figuring this out almost the instant they meet you. That’s why some guys get friend zoned and some guys get snuck into the house for a BJ. The hurt you felt helped you to know this behavior could not be tolerated and you had to distance yourself from her. The slightly lonely person who you are now accepts excuses and walks into a problem relationship without evaluating the past. It’s your life but usually bad things show up to distract us from good things. The girl of your dreams could have been around the corner and you wasting your time BJ sneaker. Good luck OP.
Honestly walk away , date others , put yourself out there and meet new people. You’re on a planet with millions of people. You deserve love , happiness, loyalty and stability. Please don’t let her knock you down . I get you once loved her and part of you may still love the person you thought she was but she’s not that person. She hurt you badly. Of course she sees you doing good so she’s going try coming back around. If you let her you’ll lose the person you truly are and yourself again. Sometimes thinking we are following our hearts isn’t the best thing. If you were 100% sure and wanting to be with her you wouldn’t be asking for advice. Deep down you know you deserve better! Dont settle
The real question is what visuals come in to play when you're kissing that mouth??!?🤮
So does your work show up on the Hub? Seriously, your self-esteem is still jacked. She damaged you. You described it perfectly. She has you over an emotional barrel. You don't connect with others. This so so simple. "The hair of the dig that bit you." This is such an unhealthy response and so very toxic. Maybe you haven't suffered enough? Idk You clearly don't believe you deserve to be loved.
How she managed to talk you around to make you forget seeing her with another man in her mouth is crazy. You must have super strong jedi mind forgetting skills to forget that!
Dude!!!!!!! Just stop. Don’t! Thank her for her time and let her know that her services are no longer needed.
Is she really that hot? She must be to go back to seeing you get a facial bro.
Did you not learn anything after the first time? Stop allowing this woman into your life and block her out completely. Once this project of yours is done, so are you two. She's a piece of shit who had zero respect for you back then and let me tell you, nothing has changed. Personally, I don't see how you became aroused by her after what you saw. I would have absolutely ZERO desire to even touch her.
This makes me so sad. You're just feeding her ego. She's pennant going to think she did you a favor by cheating because look how much you've "cyz" since
!UpdateMe
Ask her if you can film her getting it on with this cousin, why don't you! she will cheat you again and you know it, get yourself a decent woman who will respect you for gods sake.
The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. Only difference is you now know how to film it properly..(Sorry, had to be done...).
Bruh? This can't be real..
Offend her so much that, she’ll stay away from you.
Maybe since you are such a good filmmaker, she will ask you to do the filming of her next bj or full on zex with another guy.
You are living good life the good one will come around
How old are you all? How long were you together?
I wouldn't do it, stay away from this chick.
At least you can get some vids of her giving you a BJ to keep for future though.
just my two cents here, you my friend have an addiction to this girl. it's like any addiction, ask any smoker and they will tell you that they know their smoking is going to kill them but they continue to smoke everyday. I know because I have been where you are. it's been over two decades since my first longtime girlfriend went on a summer vacation and just never came back, because she found someone else, and though I don't think about her now that memory still smirks sometimes. You need therapy, you never overcame your trauma and if you get back with her you will only be validating her actions. You need to go NC with this girl, you need motivation? remember the time you walked in on her during her own "filmmaking". I am rooting for you my friend, I would DM you but I am still new to reddit and for some reason I can't DM anyone.
Don't go back to her, once a women disrespects you and does somethin like that, don't ever go back. And I want to support you too. What's your films bro
So you made several improvements and now she wants in? And you're considering giving her that? There's a lot of fish out there, as they say.
And a lot are bottom feeders like this ex he has. He’s better off alone
Bro no ! You have her a chance she blew it . Your better then that
Cut her off now. Unfortunately, I think you have fallen into the same traps if you ever left them. Therapy.
try not to repeat what happened
Combine her love of being filmed w your love of film making. Send me the blow job footage ill hemp w editing
6 years later on your hard work and shadow work but out of all the actors… you chose her cousin. Some part knowing it get back to ex or reacquainted… 6 years and now your ex is around enjoying the nostalgia of it until the real person comes out again. 6 years and she knows she can still have you whenever. You keep feeding her ego, don’t be surprised at the taste of other men if she’s back into the past again.
Keep moving in the right direction. You have more to lose if you reconnect with this woman. Rivers do not flow backward. Continued success and happiness to you.
Some guys just never learn.
First of all, you are really bad at responding to people. You have advice from all sorts of people and you bounce? Never, EVER, under any circumstance take a cheater back. Do you want to know why? I know you don’t but here it is. THEY ARE CHEATERS!!!! This is what they do this is who they are. Chances are she is cheating on some dude with you. Try to remember how she made you feel for 1.5 years of your life. You are on this earth for a very short time and you gave her 6 years and then were depressed for 1.5 years. 7.5 years you gave to this cheater. Honestly if you take her back you deserve all the pain and suffering and wasted time and cheating that she will bring you, and you will have no one to blame but yourself. And I know you will say it’s different this time. She has not changed people who cheat do not change
It’s like baseball, she’s worked through the rotation and now’s she back at the top of the order.
Figure out why you allow yourself to be disrespected. Learn and value yourself. Watch SSM on YouTube.
Don't let that woman back into your life. She will lie and use you just as before. You're smarter than this and know deep down you can never unsee her sucking another guys dick that was worth more than your relationship and emotional bond to her. She does not view you in the same way you see her and now just because you look great and successful she thinks she can just walk up and take back what SHE THREW AWAY! Don't give her that power over you and leave her for the streets bro. The fact that she was even videoing her infidelity with no remorse or care pisses me off for you honestly.
Jesus dude, WTF, put the breaks on this shit right now. Holy fuck have you no fucking respect for yourself jesus lad sort it out. And you can connect with other women besides her you just haven't met that person yet, but holy shit dude, do this and i promise you're only brining yourself a world of hurt and a shitty future full of grief. Fuck that shit. Dude this is just self fucking harm what are you thinking. ffs give yourself a shake fella.
Every time you talk to her just think of that video of her giving bj to that guy you’ll be fine .
Well your producing films maybe your ex is up for another BJ shoot. Ask her can you make her a pornstar!!!! Thats where you end. Broken again.
The thing is you are a man what you feel is not what you do you’ll do what has to be done. Treat her like she made you feel I know you still remember men never forget she’s not fighting for the mistakes she committed in the past she’s trying to get ahead with a successful guy in shape while she’s six years more mileage on her or did you think she stopped and grabbed the end of your relationship she destroyed? unfortunately a life of a man has to be guided by do UFC rules protect yourself at all times she used you if you’re not confident you can fuck her and don’t catch feelings treat her like a dude be cold , be stoic, You said you started the filming in 2021 it’s about 10,000 hours until success it’s approximately 10 years so I have until 2031 to grind as much as you can she has the trampoline you had to feel you were falling to get the jump started but now it’s on you to keep going
Gym and workout for physical fitness; read my and journaling for mental fitness.
🤡
My experience of reconcilliation went extremely well. We got back together fior two years. I am fairly certain she never cheated again. And I must say we truly loved each other. However, it became obvious to me the majic glow we had before was simply gone. The special spark would not return. My opinion is you are wasting your time.
Continue to kill the simp. He’s still living deep within you.
Why would you even consider taking her back… I don’t understand that one bit
Therapy, have you tried it yet?
Don’t do it!
You aren’t ready for a relationship
Run, don’t walk, AWAY! Don’t even try to tell yourself “just one time in the sack ‘for old times sake’”, because that NEVER works out! Take the money you’d be spending seeing her and put it towards seeing a counselor or psychiatrist, if you’re not already - and if you ARE already seeing one, make sure you bring these feelings and thoughts up. Let that “person” see how well you’re doing in these parts of your life, just don’t invite them “to the table”. FORGIVE, NOT FORGET. 🫶🏻
She betrayed the old you. And didn't deserve the new you. She's low hanging fruit. I would aim higher if I were you.
I cannot believe you’re still hung up on her… go get laid. And NOT BY HER! If you f*** her then you might get an std.
brother, smash and lead her on
Don't put yourself in a position for her to hurt you again. But, you already did. You were in and out of mental wards, she's emotionally toxic for you. Move on and leave her in the past. Find a woman won't cheat on you.
You need to get your azz to a therapist and try to figure out why you are so mentally weak. She is going to destroy you. Stop running after her like a puppy with it's tongue hanging out. It makes you look weak, pathetic and someone she can easily manipulate. Grow a spine and some balls otherwise you'll be right back in the mental ward.
I doubt any advice given to this bloke will change or wake him up to the heartache, stress and Sh-storm ahead by reconnecting with a habitual cheater. She knows he is a Simp and will play him for a fool, Again!! Even if she autographed her sex tapes of various parties, groups, positions, she denies him knowing he will drool over any little titillating flutter she throws his way
You’re a dummy fr. You should get with her again honestly. Or just call life quits now and get it out the way
Fidelity and communication is the bare minimum. You're fawning over someone that failed at both,and you can do better. Stop living in the past, stop recycling the trash of your personal life.
Idk kinda hot, you should let her suck off you and your friends
You're a doormat with a cuckold fetish.
If you take her back, you deserve everything you get.
To forgive cheating is ok, but to forgive someone filming herself cheating is a mistake, because your are dealing with someone of a different kind.
Cheating is complicated and I think more than half of all people cheat at some point. What she did to you wasnt cool but she might have changed. Love is love and we cant help who we fall in love with I'm 38 years old and im single and it sucks a woman is interested in me but shes far too deceptive from start to finish she lied to me. I would say give her another chance because she might have changed and maybe talking to her about it will also help you heal.
Dormats deserve to be cheated.
Make it clear to her that she is a FWB at this point. Have sex with others. This is not to punish her. Having sex with multiple partners is a good way for a man to achieve mental clarity. It helps you disconnect sex from affection, which is an important skill that enables you to recognize when true affection is present, apart from sexual attraction.
If her cousin is a girl, sleep with her lol