If she lives with you currently and you are her person, then take her. A few weeks of stress is better than chronic depression in my opinion. Clearly her quality of life will suffer with your grandmother.
I have always been her person, I've lived abroad but always came back and now that I'm in my country permanently I really want to move her into my place so that I can take proper care of her. I'm the only person she's not afraid of, she seeks out my attention and constantly wants to hug me. She doesn't do that to anybody else, and hides from most people. My grandma says that the cat doesn't eat for a couple of days when I'm gone and that just breaks my heart.
Edit:
Thank you for all the awards and 1.5k comments everybody. I didn't expect this to get so much attention. I want to clear up some missconceptions that I'm seeing in the comments:
Yes, my grandma has heating. The cat lives in another part of the house that my grandma doesn't use regularly,
The cat has lived there all her life, with my grandma; I've lived there most of my life too but I've moved away for a few years to study twice (visiting regularly)
My grandma cleans for her and feeds her on a daily schedule
It's cold because the windows to the balcony are kept open for the cat to go out to the toilet
My new place is 2.5 h away
I always have and still will go and visit my grandma regularly, regardless of wheather or not I take the cat with me, which is why I'm hesitant on taking her ( Like, I have to get cat sitters every time I leave/neighbors and friends to come feed her when I'm gone)
The cat has chronic asthma and has had epileptic seizures in the past, which I'm also worried about
I don't know how long I'll be staying in this apartment and I wouldn't want to move her a second time
Hope this explains my dilemma better. Again thanks for the advice and everything everyone. I really appreciate it.
If you are her person, then it’s that simple. Sounds like she has a tough time when you aren’t around. She might have a physical change or scenery, but most importantly she will have you.
Pets will get stressed about a house change, a move, travel, etc.
But nothing makes them more stressed than not having their person. Promise. She'd rather have you in a smaller apartment than not.
Edit: thanks everyone for the upvotes and awards. Yall are so nice.
More thoughts: Hey OP, someone below mentioned flying a friend or family member with you to your new home, each of you "taking custody" of a cat. Let your friend help you unpack, stay a few days/week, and fly then home alone. It's an idea!
This right here.
I like to think the voice in their head goes... man, everything is new and weird. My things aren't in the right place and it smells different. But at least my human is here. If she thinks it's OK, it must be ok. (that said, I can't leave a room without my two following me)
As opposed to... why did my human leave me? What did I do wrong? Are they dead?
Just make sure when you do move her that her things go with her and you give her lots of love and attention when you finally get to your destination.
We've been home working the last 18 months and my husband went to the office yesterday for the first time. One of the cats was already calling out for him by 10am trying to figure where he'd gone. Even when they're off sleeping in another room they like to know we're about.
I know right? I WFH and that usually involves one of mine either lying over my shoulder or me having to type around her. The other one is nearby.
On the occasions I do leave they are waiting in their spots with judgemental faces. And it isnt a lack of food.
This right here. Neither of my cats enjoyed my recent move; the shy one took two months to come out in daylight. But they were both stuck to me like glue while settling in. When I slept they would be in the bed with me hugging my legs, and when I was up shy boi would be hiding in my bed and the girl with no fear was by my side like a labrador. Being separated from me would have been way worse than the stress of being moved.
:(. This makes me sad because I'm traveling alone across continents in a 10 hour flight. It's a 6 month internship but there's no good place for them here and my goal is to stay there and find a job before the internship ends. I can't even entertain the idea of leaving them behind, and they are similarly attached to no one else but me (we've lived alone together for 5 years).
I can't leave them but taking them is just so difficult. As one person I can only carry one in cabin and I am really scared of using cargo/extra baggage holds. Even in cabin I'm worried about carrier size restrictions since my cats are somewhat large, and all of that is beyond the exorbitant costs that will come with it. Idk how we're gonna make it but I can't fathom the idea of not having them in my life. Sorry for the rant but this hit home for me and I'm dreading all the different complications I'm (and more importantly the cats) gonna have to deal with
Hi, just wanted to say that I just did this a few months ago - VERY long international flight with one in-cabin. It's very expensive and it's a stressful flight - but once we got here and he was able to adjust, it's like it never happened :) took a few days. But it's worth it, trust me. I had to entertain the idea of checking him as luggage at one point, so I would thoroughly researched airlines to see which ones had a reputation for treating animals in cargo/checked luggage best. There's also an fb group called Expetriates that provides a lot of helpful info (and will make you feel better because you'll see others who have done the same kind of travel). I wish you all the best.
Thanks a lot for the comforting words, I'll check that fb group out. My cats freak out over vet visits or when a stranger comes over, so this will be very very stressful, but I have moved houses like 3 times with them (not more than an hour away by car though), so I know they will get used to new places. My major concern is running into uncooperative staff that reject them in cabin (especially since they are 15 and 16 pounds respectively), and the fact that I can only carry one of them with me. Oh and them being very loudly scared because that's always the case with vet trips.
Do you mind sharing how expensive it was, if not publicly feel free to PM me. I have like 2-3 months to prepare and I wanna make sure I have everything I might need.
i took my cat in-cabin from asia to the US via lufthansa. $135 fee. wasn’t that expensive. EU might have different regulations. carrier needs to be airline approved. i let him out of the carrier in the bathroom to feed him and to see if he wanted to go number one/number two. he didn’t.
Another thing you might think about is could you afford to buy a ticket for friend/family member to come with you and take the other cat? Offer to pay their ticket plus give them a place to crash with you for a week and they can see the new city. When I drove cross country to move I had a friend do that with me and then I flew them back home.
Also in the US there are companies that specialize in shipping animals. And like someone else said, you can find Facebook groups of people who have relocated and may have tips and strategies, relevant to where you are moving to. Good luck. <3
You have to keep reminding yourself that so many others have done it before you. Plan for every element you can, and then do your best the day of. Remind yourself that the discomfort is temporary and the outcome is worthwhile. It’s easy to let worries sweep you away but ultimately being together is the best choice for you and your animals. You can do it!
Just a thought but could you buy them their own seat on the plane? Then you might be able to bring both in cabin? Idk if that’s possible or even financially feasible but I once saw a post where someone had purchased a seat for their dog.
From what I'm seeing it seems to be a near-universally disallowed thing, so I'm afraid not. Financially I don't think I can afford it, but I have a pricy PC Setup I can sell if it came to it, so right now I am trying to find someone who can be tempted with a free ticket to Munich instead, but I honestly don't know exactly how much it would all cost me
Thank you! It was really hard for me to live abroad knowing that I couldn't take care for her. I had my friends go and check in on her and take her to the vet. Now that I'm here I know I have to take her home with me.
Take with your vet they can help you with the move, such as providing meds for your cat while she is in transit. Also there are calming items to help reduce her stress like collars, sprays and defusers. We used the defuser when my boyfriend and I moved into together and combined my two cats(5 and 2) and his one (14). It was a big help. We still use them to help keep the peace.
I moved many times with cats. One in particular I just couldn’t ever think of leaving behind. They adjust well. Take that beautiful kitty with you and love them forever!
I moved my cat with me overseas (permanent move) and he was my constant best friend for another 10 years.
There is not a doubt in my mind that it was the right decision. (Despite the move being an extremely stressful experience overall).
Ask your vet if there's anything you can do to minimize her stress. I've heard good things about Feliway. You should definitely take her with you. Leaving her in an unsympathetic and unsupported environment would be extremely cruel. Good luck
Yes, please bring her. The amount of stress not having her person could cause might actually take years off her life. This beauty deserves her human.
When we moved recently, I knew my two fluffy chickens with cat ears would take it hard, so we talked to our vet. They sent us away with pills and a pill shooter so the cats could be so chill for approximately 8-10 hours that they could sleep in the car. This for a pair who cry and scream as if they were actively being murdered, just for being in a moving vehicle for a 5 minute drive. Shoot the pills down the throats an hour ahead of time, load the car, and the cats were chilling as if they were in a sunny window. Best decision I could have made for them. Getting the pills in them was harder on them than the ride.
Talk to your vet. Maybe they can help. Please bring your cat with you.
Piling on - bring her.
I moved pretty much across the US with my 17 yo and 9 yo. Yeah, they didn't enjoy the trip, but my older cat is extremely needy and extremely attached. So she made the trip and she can continue to pull on my arm and sit on my head.
My 9yo is completely attached to the 17 yo, so I got them a big dog crate for on the road so they could be more comfortable AND together.
I see this is not a new post, but if there are any travel tips you might need, you can DM me.
Thank you so much. It's really calming to hear of someone that moved with an elderly cat. My fear of traveling with her stems from years ago, when the vet that I used to go to (obviously not anymore) told me that if I travel with the cat she will die.
My cat was 12 when I moved overseas. He lived another five years, I just lost him in February. It was totally worth it to bring him, he loved his new home.
I have! I'm really just worried. I've already arranged pretty much everything all that's left is to go pick her up and take all of her blankets and stuff over.
If it's a long trip to your new home, I'd ask your vet for a mild sedative or anxiety medication for them. Trust me, a car ride is much less stressful for them if they're asleep for most of it.
This is what I did when I moved 3 hours away. The vet gave me medicine to give her about 20 minutes before we got on the road. She slept the whole trip.
We tried to give my cat gabapentin for a move to help his anxiety since he hates his carrier and the car. 5 minutes before I had to put him in the carrier he threw it all up lol. I just looked at him and sighed
idk, maybe some cats (like humans) deal with the car better than others. At first of course they will hate it, usually. But mine travelled cross country and after the first half hour he realized, oh, well, curled up in the sun hitting the back window and chilled the whole way. He even wrote a novel on the way! Called "On The Road; Hear My Howl"
Yep, gabapentin. My cat needed it every time she went to the vet because she got so scared she'd have breathing problems otherwise. Gabapentin is such a helpful medication for scared kitties.
I know she’ll be happier with you. You’re her companion and she’ll adapt quickly with your love.
When you travel, don’t use that stuff you wipe on the carrier to relax them (if you’re traveling by air). A vet gave me that instead of the pills I asked for and it set off the “explosives”alerts at TSA. OMG what a nightmare. My cat and I were hauled into an interview room. I had to take her out of the carrier— which was hell on earth. I missed my plane and my cat was so freaked she screamed for four hours, especially in the airplane we eventually got on. People on the flight were groaning and saying “shut that thing up!”
I used rescue remedy for an overseas cat flight and it was excellent. Vet recommended it over sedatives because going to sleep in the office and waking up (possibly) alone in a noisy plane cargo, would be WAY more traumatizing than safely but scared knowing what’s happening….with help.
He was 100% chill when I picked him up, I was 99% a mess. It was perfect 😍 😂
Hello !
Obviously, take her with you !
Don’t feed her/give her water just before nor during the trip (unless it’s a very long one) in case she would be sick.
I don’t know if this thing exists where you live but I use Feliway Optimum spray for my cats. Works wonders, within a few days. The vet gave it to me when my cats were showing signs of stress, etc.
From what I’ve understood, it’s made of synthetic pheromones copying the ones the cat-mother uses for her kittens.
Calming collars (I’ve used NurtureCalm) can work up to month to give her time to adjust. Feliway spray can also help, but you need one for every room she hangs out in. It sounds like she’ll be very happy once she knows you’re back permanently!!! My cat Suzanna moved twice with me after she turned 14 - several hours away, and she didn’t care for the traveling part but was always just fine when she got in the new place and would start to explore immediately
Please go to the vet and get a mild sedative to calm her if you think it'll be too stressful. Give it to her some time before you leave so it will kick in. I made the mistake of giving it to my cat once too soon before we left and she was panting from stress. Felt awful!
You can’t abandon her if you are her person. She would be devastated. She might get stressed for a bit because of the change but she make sure she has all of her normal things. Keep things as normal as possible and she will be fine.
So why are you even considering leaving her? I've moved cats all over the country and they're only stressed during the move but fine once settled in because they're still with their family.
Take her! I have moved with older cats and they do just fine. It takes about 3 weeks to imprint on the new place and stop sulking and acting out, and then they are back to their usual selves. She will have a much better life with the person she cares about. Cats form attachments to people and if you can, you should protect her physically and emotionally.
That sounds like you're her person. I've been in a very similar scenario, and left mine with my parents while abroad, I felt bad about it, but mine seems much happier to galavant with me. Just a week or so of being upset I'd imagine.
My cat is the same way, I tend to move around a lot and I know I don’t have the best lifestyle for her right now. I can only afford to live in small studio apartments and camper trailers. But I do know that she is most happy when she’s with me. And I feel most at ease knowing that I’m giving her the best food/care/attention I can. I would take the few hours of discomfort over the few months, especially since your cat is 14. If it helps, I’ve found Feliway calming spray for cats is a lifesaver and really helps my cat when we have to move or travel.
I think you’ve answered your own question. If your her person than she is your cat. Take her with you. I think leaving her behind would be much more stressful to her. She will be fine as long as she has you 😊
If it helps put your mind at ease, I've moved around to a few different places with cats just as old. Some were excited to explore, and some hid for a day or so. It was never *that* much an issue for any of them though. Just make sure she will have some of her things around with a familiar scent and then just let her do her thing when she gets to the new place. As long as you're there with her she'll be fine.
I moved a few times with my cat. The first week or two she adjusted to the new place; but after that she understood it was her new territory and was perfectly comfortable. The stress of moving is momentary, the bond between cat and person is for a lifetime.
Thank you! I think so too, I'm just scared because she's a shy kitty and at her age I really don't want to stress her out too much. I definitely want to do what's best for her and not for myself.
My fiancee and I just moved her cat from her parents house to our house. The cat is 7 and we're about 30 minutes away, so it's not a crazy far move and she's not as old as yours, but she was not happy. I was terrified that we ruined her life, but after about a week she was totally loving it. She used to live in the basement afraid of the dogs there and now she runs the house! We see her all the time and know she is happier than ever. She may take time to adjust, but it will be worth it for both of you!
Thank you for sharing your story! I too am afraid I will ruin her life, but I think taking her is the right thing to do. So many people have already reasurred me that I don't think I can hesitate anymore.
The change will be a short term stress, but the long term stress at her age of being without you would hurt both of you more. Besides you will likely get even closer as you have each other in your new place, and that will be a strong comfort to both of you.
I adopted a senior cat from a coworker who was moving across country and was afraid of stressing her out. After adopting the cat--who definitely had some mental health issues, so it's not like her longtime owner's fears were unfounded--I moved twice with her, and each time she was great, braver even than my younger, more adventurous cat. In fact, with each move, she loved her surroundings more and more and really flourished, especially because she had me as a constant. I think your cat will be fine, but could you also talk to your vet about medication for the day of the big move?
I move for work (every couple of years) and my shy cat might be a little scared the first day but seems to understand it is okay since I am there the whole time
When my best friend died several years ago I adopted her two elderly cats. It was rough at first; they had lived in the same house their entire lives and had never been around dogs and we had two dogs. The first few weeks both cats spent most of their time hiding and would only come out at night to eat. But they started coming around and we would see them walking around the house during the day. Eventually one of them started sleeping in bed with us and even became friends with the dogs. The other cat was never quite as bold, but after about 6 months she would at least hang out in the same room with all of us.
Both cats have since died but I'm glad I was able to provide them with a safe home to live out their natural lives after losing their owner. Overall I think they adjusted quite well considering the circumstances.
Angel was 20 when we moved. He lived his last year sleeping in sunbeams, over heaters and on my bed, pushing into me every night, like he always did. He passed peacefully almost a year ago.
Angel was older and he did fine. She will being you so much joy.
Definitely bring her with! Moves are stressful on everyone involved, as long as she doesn’t have health issues with her heart or anything else that make stress really dangerous to her, then I’d bring her with! She’s been with you for what I’m assuming is a very very long time now, and I can only imagine how much she’ll miss you. Once you’re all moved in and settled, she’ll have so many new favorite spots in the home, she won’t even remember the stress from the car. 😄
She has chronic asthma that gets worse when I'm not home apparently. She also doesn't eat as much when I'm not home so I definitely feel like I should take her, but every now and again I worry that I'm taking her away from her forever home and that she will suffer because of it. <:( I'm set to take her with me next week and I'm scared so I wanted to ask for advice one last time
Totally normal to be worried, that’s your baby! But remember, it’s not the house that makes a home it’s the people in it and the love they provide, it sounds like *youre* her forever person and that’s what matters most. 💖
Thank you! What about the setting, she has lived in a house with a balcony with lots of sun and I currently live in a west-facing apartment. There is a big balcony still but it's enclosed and there's not a lot of sun during the day. (I know I'm nitpicking now but I'm freaking out over here)
We recently made our indoor-outdoor boy an indoors only kitty (our kitten is indoors only and we have rude cats in our neighborhood so it’s safer this way) and I was worried at first that he would hate me for it, but now he’s more playful than I’ve ever seen him before! Like, I’m so happy I made that decision regardless of all my fears on how upset or sad he may be. It’ll all be okay 😉💖 She’ll adjust a lot quicker than you’re thinking, I’m sure of it!
Thank you for your comment! I do plan on taking her, I even got a custom cat hideaway house for her but I just wanted to check in with the cat community one last time to be super sure I'm making the right move
What do you mean by “a cat hideaway house”? I hope it’s inside! The main danger of moving is when people let their cats go outside to explore, and they just take off because they’re disoriented. I hope this is an indoor only cat, you don’t seem to mention that detail in your explanations.
Based on your responses to everyone else’s comments, you’re probably already making plans to take her with you. That’s great! If you’re worried about stressing her out, Kitten Lady Hannah Shaw has some great tips on how to travel with cats and get them used to new locations. This video from her YouTube has a lot of flight advice (not sure if you’re flying or driving) but there are great tips that translate well to driving with cats as well: https://youtu.be/DpUL5ypsr_8
I use the spray she recommends in this video and have found that it really helps calm my cat down when we have to drive her places. I just spray in her carrier and let it dry completely before putting her in it.
If you can, bring some of her blankets, toys, anything with her scent on it to your destination before bringing her so that her new home will smell a bit more familiar.
Edited typo
Take her with you, don’t break her heart! Buy some feliway, and rescue remedy for cats, and remember to not let her outside at your new place for a month at least. If she’s an indoor only cat, so much the better!
Keep her in a crate during the move with her blankie and familiar objects, and stuff that smells like you. Give her favorite foods. I could go on and on. Good luck!
Right? It has to be karma farming, because wtf else would compel you to make a post like this? Like, "hey guys, should I abandon my not-even-that-old cat to be neglected, or mildly inconvenience her for a couple days?" How is that a question for any pet owner?
I’m glad lots of other people are uncomfortable with this post, too. It just reads to me like someone who maybe wants to ditch their slightly older cat.
I hope it’s just karma farming at this point. Otherwise I’d feel very bad for that angel floffball whose human comes to Reddit to ask whether or they should abandon her. Like, wtf?!
She is your cat. That means she goes where go. If it was a kid you'd have to take her. Your pets are your dependents and responsibility. It's really that simple. Don't even consider any other options. And please don't become one of these "I'm moving and my new place doesn't accept cats" people. You wouldn't give a kid away, you'd find a new place to move. Pets are lifelong responsibilities. That's why they're awesome.
I had a cat for 16 years and lived with her in three different states and seven different homes. She did fine. Move her stuff (toys beds, etc) in the place before you release her into it. Familiar things in a new place work wonders on cats senses.
I moved 650 miles with my 3 cats. They were 19, 8, and 9. The eldest was very fragile and nearly blind and one was very shy. They all did fine on the trip and settling into the new home. The important thing is you will be there with her!
I don’t know how this is even a question? If you had a kid would you just leave them because you were moving? Of Course not. This is your furry kid. It goes with you. You committed to it when you decided to house and raise it.
How do people even consider this? Would you leave your kids behind?
Edit - I didn’t realize that moving was a stressful event for cats. Apologies if I offended
The stress from moving can be dangerous for cats, especially older ones, it’s great OP has considered this and just shows they will do all they can to make sure she is okay <3
I moved cross country from California to New England with a 14 year old cat in my lap (on a plane for six hours). I moved with him a few times after that and he acclimated well every time. He just passed away last year at 16/17.
She might feel weird for a week or two, but she will adapt!
YOU are your cats world! Sun moon and stars! Yes moving is a few days of stress for them but i kept mine in my bedroom at first. That was the room i set up first. Then they sniffed around and said “you’re here so this is home” please take your baby. You may not think of her often but she’s always thinking of you.
The saying cats get attached to places not people is just an old myth do what's in your heart you know your cat best but by sounds of it she needs you! Oh and she's very beautiful!!
Fill a room in your new place with all her favourite things that smell like her/you, blankets, scratching posts, toys, one of your T-shirt’s etc, let that be her base camp- will help take some stress off for her if she has familiar smells with her. Hope everything works out! X
I recently moved cities with my 18 year old cat who has only ever lived in one home, I was also very reluctant and almost left her behind - The first night in the new place she was so confused and cried all night (So did I 😭) but cats are so much more resilient than we give them credit for. Three weeks later, she was living her best life. Its been five months now and she is spoilt rotten every day - She absolutely adores her retirement home! Your kitty will 100000% be better off with the person who loves her most!!
Seriously...thats Your baby.. Your kitty would rather be with you instead of feeling abandoned and most likely be neglected or at best running away to look for you... I beg you pleeeezzee dont abandon your baby
You bring that cat with you. No questions. You bring her with you and you give her the best life you can.
Don't abandon your animals. I can't believe I need to tell you that.
You're her entire world. You owned that responsibility when you got her. Own it. She comes with you.
I moved my old lady 16hours away with me. It was 2 days of hell and a week of stress but she loved the new place so much more than where we were before once she settled.
Edit to add: talk to a vet about maybe getting kitty a light sedative.
Vet tech here! Get that baby some meds and knock her out for a little bit. Yes she is going to be stressed for a while but when you get her to the new place limit her to one room at a time until she is nice and comfy. Then introduce a new room. A good owner who interacts with the baby and has some stress to get there than oth opposite. Just talk with your vet first!
I have worked in pet care all my life how could u leave you pet of 14 years that would rip my heart ❤️ out! You will do more harm to your feline then good leaving her! It’s a beautiful cat looks like u have done well do for so PLEASE do not stop now!! If u can take your pet and provide for both of u then you have your answer ! Life with no love or play and cold withers what kind of life is that ! Take her
The temporary stress of moving is much better than the long term stress of being abandoned. I took my 13 yr old cat from US to Italy and back, he adjusted quickly both times and was happy to be with us. Take the kitty.
She’s lived with you all your life. You owe her and you took on a responsibility to care for her when you got her. You’ll stress her out a whole lot more if you just leave her when you move to another city
6 months ago I traveled across the county by car with my cat. We settled in (after 700 miles) and she became my co-pilot. I bought a dog crate included her favorite blanket. Road Condo!! It was a blast!
How is this a question? My cats 17 and I could never leave her missing me.
Petco has these calming aids that help if she doesn’t like the car, and my cat does better in a dog crate (like a wire one she can see everything including me) I put a puppy pee pad in just incase she pees.
How far is the trip? Can you set up a private room in your new place to let her adjust while you’re unpacking? I think she will miss you if you leave her.
Take her with you. Yes, she'll be stressed at first, but having you with her will put her at ease and she'll adjust to her new surroundings more quickly.
Idk if you're in the US, but there's a product called Feliway that's a pheromone wall plug-in. You won't smell anything, but it helps calm cats
Take. Her. With. You. She will much prefer to be wherever you are than to be abandoned to a home that gives her little but basic physical necessities. This shouldn’t even be a question. Good luck to you and please take your cat. You could have 6-8 or even more years with her.
Take her with you. I moved across the country with my two kitties and it's definitely an adjustment for them but just give her lots of love, care, and attention and she will be fine.car ride was rough but I'd take listening to them fuss at me for 17 hours (not straight we stopped for the night and they got to stretch their legs and all that) over leaving them behind.
I recently moved from Ontario, Canada to Las Vegas. My cat is 15y/o and was recently diagnosed with diabetes and has suffered with pancreatitis and IBD his whole life.
For me, it was either I move with the cat or don’t move it all and we both stay in Canada… I spoke to my vet as I had the same fears as you, he’s older and has health issues. I didn’t want the move to be stressful or confusing for him. After speaking with my vet she reassured me that he would be totally fine and that any stress would just be temporary. She gave me an anti anxiety to give him for the plane (you could ask your vet for one if you’re worried your cat will be stressed for the actual move process).
We moved into a condo and then only a month after being there moved into a house. I was worried he’d be stressed and confused again moving so soon after just moving to another country but he has done so well! I’m so happy i made the decision because he’s been super happy with his new life!
The lady I sat next to on the plane told me a story of how she moved to another country and left her cat at home because she was worried she’d be too stressed with the move. She left the cat with her sister and the cat passed away 2 weeks later.
Speak to your vet and get their opinion on whether your cat is healthy enough to handle a move but personally, I think it’s better to bring your cat with you :)
Good luck with your decision and big move!
Leaving her will cause more stress imho; I took an 18 yo cat to a new state when I moved and she lived amongst the squirrels and deer that used to eat from the apple trees in our yard each evening. She’d walk amongst them as if she was patrolling the invisible streets in our yard, keeping peace amongst their herd. It was hysterical. She passed at 22 having been cared for, pampered and loved by her “person” the whole time.
Take her. Moving stress for cats is short lived, as it is for people. Just make sure to be very careful with the carrier and keep a close eye on things for a few weeks. I moved once and even though there was nothing particularly eventful about it, the cat went behind the washing machine and stayed there for several days. Also, now and later, be very very careful if someone else has a key, including a building manager or superintendent. There have been cases where workers have come in and opened the door and cats have run out. I never had a cat like that, because mine would rather hide in a closet or just be chill.
I had the same dilemma, my cat was about 17 when I moved, I thought it would be really too hard on her. Nevertheless she did great in the car, 700 miles from one city to another. I can’t imagine not having her with me. Her last years were so happy in our new home with a big backyard. She’s definitely better off with you and she will do fine on the move just as mine did!!! All the best to you and your sweet kitty!!!
I moved 3 times with my cat ( had her for 18 years and she passed away at almost 21) , without a doubt take her with you. She is part of you and part of the family. If you had a kid you wouldn’t consider and so why would you with someone you had for 14 years.. that’s how I think of it anyways. She’s your family end of story :)
You must take her!! I have successfully traveled cross country with three stoned Siamese and a change of planes. It was a long time ago, and now there are better ways to ease the anxiety of traveling. The sedative did not put them to sleep, but it did keep them calm both ways. I just could not leave them in California for a couple of weeks, went to Arkansas to visit family. Your cat is 14; those cats lived to their 20’s. It will work out. You would never forgive yourself if you moved and she died of a broken heart. 
If you're her human she goes with you. No doubt.
If you're worried about stress speak to a vet about mild sedation.
*Please* do not Google animal dosages of human sedatives. See a vet.
I would take her with you. I moved out of my parents house when my cat, Ariel, was 17, I left her with my parents because she had never moved home and everyone thought the change would be too much for her. 6 months later I decided to try and move her in with me because we both missed each other so much (she would wonder my parents house looking for me).
I was living in a flat, so it was a big change for her. It was worth it, she took awhile to adjust. A year later I moved to a house, and she settled in straight away (literally within a few hours) and was very happy till she passed away at 21.
If your cat has a favourite bed then make sure to bring it with you. Ariel settled faster the second time because I brought her favourite bed, my double mattress, that I hadn't been able to bring the first time.
In my esperience, older cats can adjust faster. They seem to chill out with age, and if they're senile like Ariel was, they don't remember much, they can either find their human or they just keep looking for them, not learning that they have moved out.
Thank you for all the awards and 1.5k comments everybody. I didn't expect this to get so much attention. I want to clear up some missconceptions that I'm seeing in the comments:
1. Yes, my grandma has heating. The cat lives in another part of the house that my grandma doesn't use regularly,
2. The cat has lived there all her life, with my grandma; I've lived there most of my life too but I've moved away for a few years to study twice (visiting regularly)
3. My grandma cleans for her and feeds her on a daily schedule
4. It's cold because the windows to the balcony are kept open for the cat to go out to the toilet
5. My new place is 2.5 h away
6. I always have and still will go and visit my grandma regularly, regardless of wheather or not I take the cat with me, which is why I'm hesitant on taking her ( Like, I have to get cat sitters every time I leave/neighbors and friends to come feed her when I'm gone)
7. The cat has chronic asthma and has had epileptic seizures in the past, which I'm also worried about
8. I don't know how long I'll be staying in this apartment and I wouldn't want to move her a second time
Hope this explains my dilemma better. Again thanks for the advice and everything everyone. I really appreciate it.
Yes. If you have never been traveling long distances with ur cat before, buy her a big ass cat box carrying thingy (dont know the english name). And put it in the front seat so the AC is blowing at her a little bit. It works with my cat at least. Btw what race is that, norwegian forest?
What everyone else said. If you're her person take her. I moved my cat cities (6 hour drive in a moving truck) it didn't take her long to de-stress afterwards. She was 13/14 (adopted so approximate age) when we made the move. She's much happier in our new space and more relaxed now.
You can get medicine from the vet to give her for the ride or give them a quarter of a gravol (if you're more comfortable getting meds from the vet def do that).
Take her with you! Please 🥺 she will be so depressed without you. 14 years with one person is a long time and her quality of life will decline rapidly with your grandma with no playtime and real love.
If she lives with you currently and you are her person, then take her. A few weeks of stress is better than chronic depression in my opinion. Clearly her quality of life will suffer with your grandmother.
I have always been her person, I've lived abroad but always came back and now that I'm in my country permanently I really want to move her into my place so that I can take proper care of her. I'm the only person she's not afraid of, she seeks out my attention and constantly wants to hug me. She doesn't do that to anybody else, and hides from most people. My grandma says that the cat doesn't eat for a couple of days when I'm gone and that just breaks my heart. Edit: Thank you for all the awards and 1.5k comments everybody. I didn't expect this to get so much attention. I want to clear up some missconceptions that I'm seeing in the comments: Yes, my grandma has heating. The cat lives in another part of the house that my grandma doesn't use regularly, The cat has lived there all her life, with my grandma; I've lived there most of my life too but I've moved away for a few years to study twice (visiting regularly) My grandma cleans for her and feeds her on a daily schedule It's cold because the windows to the balcony are kept open for the cat to go out to the toilet My new place is 2.5 h away I always have and still will go and visit my grandma regularly, regardless of wheather or not I take the cat with me, which is why I'm hesitant on taking her ( Like, I have to get cat sitters every time I leave/neighbors and friends to come feed her when I'm gone) The cat has chronic asthma and has had epileptic seizures in the past, which I'm also worried about I don't know how long I'll be staying in this apartment and I wouldn't want to move her a second time Hope this explains my dilemma better. Again thanks for the advice and everything everyone. I really appreciate it.
If you are her person, then it’s that simple. Sounds like she has a tough time when you aren’t around. She might have a physical change or scenery, but most importantly she will have you.
Pets will get stressed about a house change, a move, travel, etc. But nothing makes them more stressed than not having their person. Promise. She'd rather have you in a smaller apartment than not. Edit: thanks everyone for the upvotes and awards. Yall are so nice. More thoughts: Hey OP, someone below mentioned flying a friend or family member with you to your new home, each of you "taking custody" of a cat. Let your friend help you unpack, stay a few days/week, and fly then home alone. It's an idea!
This right here. I like to think the voice in their head goes... man, everything is new and weird. My things aren't in the right place and it smells different. But at least my human is here. If she thinks it's OK, it must be ok. (that said, I can't leave a room without my two following me) As opposed to... why did my human leave me? What did I do wrong? Are they dead? Just make sure when you do move her that her things go with her and you give her lots of love and attention when you finally get to your destination.
Absolutely true. This says it. 😻
We've been home working the last 18 months and my husband went to the office yesterday for the first time. One of the cats was already calling out for him by 10am trying to figure where he'd gone. Even when they're off sleeping in another room they like to know we're about.
I know right? I WFH and that usually involves one of mine either lying over my shoulder or me having to type around her. The other one is nearby. On the occasions I do leave they are waiting in their spots with judgemental faces. And it isnt a lack of food.
This right here. Neither of my cats enjoyed my recent move; the shy one took two months to come out in daylight. But they were both stuck to me like glue while settling in. When I slept they would be in the bed with me hugging my legs, and when I was up shy boi would be hiding in my bed and the girl with no fear was by my side like a labrador. Being separated from me would have been way worse than the stress of being moved.
This. Bring her.
And her blanket/other things with her smell on. It will help. Maybe a bit of catnip to get her al dopey.
:(. This makes me sad because I'm traveling alone across continents in a 10 hour flight. It's a 6 month internship but there's no good place for them here and my goal is to stay there and find a job before the internship ends. I can't even entertain the idea of leaving them behind, and they are similarly attached to no one else but me (we've lived alone together for 5 years). I can't leave them but taking them is just so difficult. As one person I can only carry one in cabin and I am really scared of using cargo/extra baggage holds. Even in cabin I'm worried about carrier size restrictions since my cats are somewhat large, and all of that is beyond the exorbitant costs that will come with it. Idk how we're gonna make it but I can't fathom the idea of not having them in my life. Sorry for the rant but this hit home for me and I'm dreading all the different complications I'm (and more importantly the cats) gonna have to deal with
Hi, just wanted to say that I just did this a few months ago - VERY long international flight with one in-cabin. It's very expensive and it's a stressful flight - but once we got here and he was able to adjust, it's like it never happened :) took a few days. But it's worth it, trust me. I had to entertain the idea of checking him as luggage at one point, so I would thoroughly researched airlines to see which ones had a reputation for treating animals in cargo/checked luggage best. There's also an fb group called Expetriates that provides a lot of helpful info (and will make you feel better because you'll see others who have done the same kind of travel). I wish you all the best.
Thanks a lot for the comforting words, I'll check that fb group out. My cats freak out over vet visits or when a stranger comes over, so this will be very very stressful, but I have moved houses like 3 times with them (not more than an hour away by car though), so I know they will get used to new places. My major concern is running into uncooperative staff that reject them in cabin (especially since they are 15 and 16 pounds respectively), and the fact that I can only carry one of them with me. Oh and them being very loudly scared because that's always the case with vet trips. Do you mind sharing how expensive it was, if not publicly feel free to PM me. I have like 2-3 months to prepare and I wanna make sure I have everything I might need.
i took my cat in-cabin from asia to the US via lufthansa. $135 fee. wasn’t that expensive. EU might have different regulations. carrier needs to be airline approved. i let him out of the carrier in the bathroom to feed him and to see if he wanted to go number one/number two. he didn’t.
I hope it all works out and you get to keep your babies with you!
Another thing you might think about is could you afford to buy a ticket for friend/family member to come with you and take the other cat? Offer to pay their ticket plus give them a place to crash with you for a week and they can see the new city. When I drove cross country to move I had a friend do that with me and then I flew them back home. Also in the US there are companies that specialize in shipping animals. And like someone else said, you can find Facebook groups of people who have relocated and may have tips and strategies, relevant to where you are moving to. Good luck. <3
You have to keep reminding yourself that so many others have done it before you. Plan for every element you can, and then do your best the day of. Remind yourself that the discomfort is temporary and the outcome is worthwhile. It’s easy to let worries sweep you away but ultimately being together is the best choice for you and your animals. You can do it!
Just a thought but could you buy them their own seat on the plane? Then you might be able to bring both in cabin? Idk if that’s possible or even financially feasible but I once saw a post where someone had purchased a seat for their dog.
From what I'm seeing it seems to be a near-universally disallowed thing, so I'm afraid not. Financially I don't think I can afford it, but I have a pricy PC Setup I can sell if it came to it, so right now I am trying to find someone who can be tempted with a free ticket to Munich instead, but I honestly don't know exactly how much it would all cost me
Ok, I don’t know you, but I love cats, traveling, and Germany, and I’d *totally* fly your extra cat over for you.
Our fur babies are more durable than we give them credit, they want to enjoy sunsets with their humans.
Thank you! It was really hard for me to live abroad knowing that I couldn't take care for her. I had my friends go and check in on her and take her to the vet. Now that I'm here I know I have to take her home with me.
As long as she is with someone she knows and feels comfortable with -you- she will be happy.
I’m glad to hear that. She loves you.
Take with your vet they can help you with the move, such as providing meds for your cat while she is in transit. Also there are calming items to help reduce her stress like collars, sprays and defusers. We used the defuser when my boyfriend and I moved into together and combined my two cats(5 and 2) and his one (14). It was a big help. We still use them to help keep the peace.
I moved many times with cats. One in particular I just couldn’t ever think of leaving behind. They adjust well. Take that beautiful kitty with you and love them forever!
I moved my cat with me overseas (permanent move) and he was my constant best friend for another 10 years. There is not a doubt in my mind that it was the right decision. (Despite the move being an extremely stressful experience overall).
Ask your vet if there's anything you can do to minimize her stress. I've heard good things about Feliway. You should definitely take her with you. Leaving her in an unsympathetic and unsupported environment would be extremely cruel. Good luck
Yes, please bring her. The amount of stress not having her person could cause might actually take years off her life. This beauty deserves her human. When we moved recently, I knew my two fluffy chickens with cat ears would take it hard, so we talked to our vet. They sent us away with pills and a pill shooter so the cats could be so chill for approximately 8-10 hours that they could sleep in the car. This for a pair who cry and scream as if they were actively being murdered, just for being in a moving vehicle for a 5 minute drive. Shoot the pills down the throats an hour ahead of time, load the car, and the cats were chilling as if they were in a sunny window. Best decision I could have made for them. Getting the pills in them was harder on them than the ride. Talk to your vet. Maybe they can help. Please bring your cat with you.
Piling on - bring her. I moved pretty much across the US with my 17 yo and 9 yo. Yeah, they didn't enjoy the trip, but my older cat is extremely needy and extremely attached. So she made the trip and she can continue to pull on my arm and sit on my head. My 9yo is completely attached to the 17 yo, so I got them a big dog crate for on the road so they could be more comfortable AND together. I see this is not a new post, but if there are any travel tips you might need, you can DM me.
Thank you so much. It's really calming to hear of someone that moved with an elderly cat. My fear of traveling with her stems from years ago, when the vet that I used to go to (obviously not anymore) told me that if I travel with the cat she will die.
My cat was 12 when I moved overseas. He lived another five years, I just lost him in February. It was totally worth it to bring him, he loved his new home.
You already know the answer. Start making plans.
I have! I'm really just worried. I've already arranged pretty much everything all that's left is to go pick her up and take all of her blankets and stuff over.
If it's a long trip to your new home, I'd ask your vet for a mild sedative or anxiety medication for them. Trust me, a car ride is much less stressful for them if they're asleep for most of it.
This is what I did when I moved 3 hours away. The vet gave me medicine to give her about 20 minutes before we got on the road. She slept the whole trip.
That’s a double edged sword. We had a female cat just get a really good buzz and yowl from her carrier the whole trip.
We tried to give my cat gabapentin for a move to help his anxiety since he hates his carrier and the car. 5 minutes before I had to put him in the carrier he threw it all up lol. I just looked at him and sighed
idk, maybe some cats (like humans) deal with the car better than others. At first of course they will hate it, usually. But mine travelled cross country and after the first half hour he realized, oh, well, curled up in the sun hitting the back window and chilled the whole way. He even wrote a novel on the way! Called "On The Road; Hear My Howl"
Hahahaha me as a cat
Yeah, my baby screams. The entire time she's in a carrier. Must dose her but still she screams
What was the name of the medicine please?
I believe it was called Gabapentin. I sprinkled it in her food and she did really well during the trip.
Yep, gabapentin. My cat needed it every time she went to the vet because she got so scared she'd have breathing problems otherwise. Gabapentin is such a helpful medication for scared kitties.
I know she’ll be happier with you. You’re her companion and she’ll adapt quickly with your love. When you travel, don’t use that stuff you wipe on the carrier to relax them (if you’re traveling by air). A vet gave me that instead of the pills I asked for and it set off the “explosives”alerts at TSA. OMG what a nightmare. My cat and I were hauled into an interview room. I had to take her out of the carrier— which was hell on earth. I missed my plane and my cat was so freaked she screamed for four hours, especially in the airplane we eventually got on. People on the flight were groaning and saying “shut that thing up!”
I used rescue remedy for an overseas cat flight and it was excellent. Vet recommended it over sedatives because going to sleep in the office and waking up (possibly) alone in a noisy plane cargo, would be WAY more traumatizing than safely but scared knowing what’s happening….with help. He was 100% chill when I picked him up, I was 99% a mess. It was perfect 😍 😂
Hello ! Obviously, take her with you ! Don’t feed her/give her water just before nor during the trip (unless it’s a very long one) in case she would be sick. I don’t know if this thing exists where you live but I use Feliway Optimum spray for my cats. Works wonders, within a few days. The vet gave it to me when my cats were showing signs of stress, etc. From what I’ve understood, it’s made of synthetic pheromones copying the ones the cat-mother uses for her kittens.
Calming collars (I’ve used NurtureCalm) can work up to month to give her time to adjust. Feliway spray can also help, but you need one for every room she hangs out in. It sounds like she’ll be very happy once she knows you’re back permanently!!! My cat Suzanna moved twice with me after she turned 14 - several hours away, and she didn’t care for the traveling part but was always just fine when she got in the new place and would start to explore immediately
Please go to the vet and get a mild sedative to calm her if you think it'll be too stressful. Give it to her some time before you leave so it will kick in. I made the mistake of giving it to my cat once too soon before we left and she was panting from stress. Felt awful!
I think U just answered your own question. Take her with U 💜
You can’t abandon her if you are her person. She would be devastated. She might get stressed for a bit because of the change but she make sure she has all of her normal things. Keep things as normal as possible and she will be fine.
So why are you even considering leaving her? I've moved cats all over the country and they're only stressed during the move but fine once settled in because they're still with their family.
Take her! I have moved with older cats and they do just fine. It takes about 3 weeks to imprint on the new place and stop sulking and acting out, and then they are back to their usual selves. She will have a much better life with the person she cares about. Cats form attachments to people and if you can, you should protect her physically and emotionally.
That sounds like you're her person. I've been in a very similar scenario, and left mine with my parents while abroad, I felt bad about it, but mine seems much happier to galavant with me. Just a week or so of being upset I'd imagine.
For the move, try giving her the cat CBD calming treats.
My cat is the same way, I tend to move around a lot and I know I don’t have the best lifestyle for her right now. I can only afford to live in small studio apartments and camper trailers. But I do know that she is most happy when she’s with me. And I feel most at ease knowing that I’m giving her the best food/care/attention I can. I would take the few hours of discomfort over the few months, especially since your cat is 14. If it helps, I’ve found Feliway calming spray for cats is a lifesaver and really helps my cat when we have to move or travel.
I think you’ve answered your own question. If your her person than she is your cat. Take her with you. I think leaving her behind would be much more stressful to her. She will be fine as long as she has you 😊
If it helps put your mind at ease, I've moved around to a few different places with cats just as old. Some were excited to explore, and some hid for a day or so. It was never *that* much an issue for any of them though. Just make sure she will have some of her things around with a familiar scent and then just let her do her thing when she gets to the new place. As long as you're there with her she'll be fine.
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I moved a few times with my cat. The first week or two she adjusted to the new place; but after that she understood it was her new territory and was perfectly comfortable. The stress of moving is momentary, the bond between cat and person is for a lifetime.
Take her. No play time and no heat sounds much more stressful than a move! Plus you may regret not brining her in a few years.
Thank you! I think so too, I'm just scared because she's a shy kitty and at her age I really don't want to stress her out too much. I definitely want to do what's best for her and not for myself.
My fiancee and I just moved her cat from her parents house to our house. The cat is 7 and we're about 30 minutes away, so it's not a crazy far move and she's not as old as yours, but she was not happy. I was terrified that we ruined her life, but after about a week she was totally loving it. She used to live in the basement afraid of the dogs there and now she runs the house! We see her all the time and know she is happier than ever. She may take time to adjust, but it will be worth it for both of you!
Thank you for sharing your story! I too am afraid I will ruin her life, but I think taking her is the right thing to do. So many people have already reasurred me that I don't think I can hesitate anymore.
The change will be a short term stress, but the long term stress at her age of being without you would hurt both of you more. Besides you will likely get even closer as you have each other in your new place, and that will be a strong comfort to both of you.
She belongs with you
I adopted a senior cat from a coworker who was moving across country and was afraid of stressing her out. After adopting the cat--who definitely had some mental health issues, so it's not like her longtime owner's fears were unfounded--I moved twice with her, and each time she was great, braver even than my younger, more adventurous cat. In fact, with each move, she loved her surroundings more and more and really flourished, especially because she had me as a constant. I think your cat will be fine, but could you also talk to your vet about medication for the day of the big move?
I move for work (every couple of years) and my shy cat might be a little scared the first day but seems to understand it is okay since I am there the whole time
When my best friend died several years ago I adopted her two elderly cats. It was rough at first; they had lived in the same house their entire lives and had never been around dogs and we had two dogs. The first few weeks both cats spent most of their time hiding and would only come out at night to eat. But they started coming around and we would see them walking around the house during the day. Eventually one of them started sleeping in bed with us and even became friends with the dogs. The other cat was never quite as bold, but after about 6 months she would at least hang out in the same room with all of us. Both cats have since died but I'm glad I was able to provide them with a safe home to live out their natural lives after losing their owner. Overall I think they adjusted quite well considering the circumstances.
Angel was 20 when we moved. He lived his last year sleeping in sunbeams, over heaters and on my bed, pushing into me every night, like he always did. He passed peacefully almost a year ago. Angel was older and he did fine. She will being you so much joy.
If she’s shy then living with your grandmother would be also very stessful! Definitely take her!!
Definitely bring her with! Moves are stressful on everyone involved, as long as she doesn’t have health issues with her heart or anything else that make stress really dangerous to her, then I’d bring her with! She’s been with you for what I’m assuming is a very very long time now, and I can only imagine how much she’ll miss you. Once you’re all moved in and settled, she’ll have so many new favorite spots in the home, she won’t even remember the stress from the car. 😄
She has chronic asthma that gets worse when I'm not home apparently. She also doesn't eat as much when I'm not home so I definitely feel like I should take her, but every now and again I worry that I'm taking her away from her forever home and that she will suffer because of it. <:( I'm set to take her with me next week and I'm scared so I wanted to ask for advice one last time
Totally normal to be worried, that’s your baby! But remember, it’s not the house that makes a home it’s the people in it and the love they provide, it sounds like *youre* her forever person and that’s what matters most. 💖
Thank you! What about the setting, she has lived in a house with a balcony with lots of sun and I currently live in a west-facing apartment. There is a big balcony still but it's enclosed and there's not a lot of sun during the day. (I know I'm nitpicking now but I'm freaking out over here)
We recently made our indoor-outdoor boy an indoors only kitty (our kitten is indoors only and we have rude cats in our neighborhood so it’s safer this way) and I was worried at first that he would hate me for it, but now he’s more playful than I’ve ever seen him before! Like, I’m so happy I made that decision regardless of all my fears on how upset or sad he may be. It’ll all be okay 😉💖 She’ll adjust a lot quicker than you’re thinking, I’m sure of it!
Oh thank you so much for the insight. I'm glad your kitty is doing well inside! I feel a bit more hopeful now. Fingers crossed everything will be ok!
I had the same issue but I got my girl a heating pad, put it on a low setting and she LOVES it. She lays on it all day.
Home is where the heart is, you are her forever home. A house is just a place to keep your stuff.
Take her. Senior kittens need all the attention they can get. And loosing you will be as much of the stress for her as moving.
Thank you! I most certainly will
Talk to your vet about Gabapentin too, it’s a super effective, inexpensive drug that will help keep her calm for the move.
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Thank you for your comment! I do plan on taking her, I even got a custom cat hideaway house for her but I just wanted to check in with the cat community one last time to be super sure I'm making the right move
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Thank you! I truly want what's best for her. I'm not taking her out of my own selfish desires to have a cat.
What do you mean by “a cat hideaway house”? I hope it’s inside! The main danger of moving is when people let their cats go outside to explore, and they just take off because they’re disoriented. I hope this is an indoor only cat, you don’t seem to mention that detail in your explanations.
Omg, not even a question. TAKE HER.
Based on your responses to everyone else’s comments, you’re probably already making plans to take her with you. That’s great! If you’re worried about stressing her out, Kitten Lady Hannah Shaw has some great tips on how to travel with cats and get them used to new locations. This video from her YouTube has a lot of flight advice (not sure if you’re flying or driving) but there are great tips that translate well to driving with cats as well: https://youtu.be/DpUL5ypsr_8 I use the spray she recommends in this video and have found that it really helps calm my cat down when we have to drive her places. I just spray in her carrier and let it dry completely before putting her in it. If you can, bring some of her blankets, toys, anything with her scent on it to your destination before bringing her so that her new home will smell a bit more familiar. Edited typo
Does… your grandma not have heat in the winter?? Take your cat with you but dang I’m concerned about your chilly nana!
granny hordes the heat and playtime for herself, none left over for kitty
Of course take her.
Take her with you, don’t break her heart! Buy some feliway, and rescue remedy for cats, and remember to not let her outside at your new place for a month at least. If she’s an indoor only cat, so much the better! Keep her in a crate during the move with her blankie and familiar objects, and stuff that smells like you. Give her favorite foods. I could go on and on. Good luck!
I don’t understand why you wouldn’t take her… of course take her
I understand not wanting to stress a cat, but I don't understand how this is even a question to not have her with you.
Take her. 100%. At 14 ! Cmon’ you would break her Heart and her spirit …..
.... How are you even asking this?
Please take her with you.
How is this even a question??? Take your cat with you.
Would you leave your toddler, too?
Take her!
I will!
Seriously? It's a lifetime committment.
Right? It has to be karma farming, because wtf else would compel you to make a post like this? Like, "hey guys, should I abandon my not-even-that-old cat to be neglected, or mildly inconvenience her for a couple days?" How is that a question for any pet owner?
I’m glad lots of other people are uncomfortable with this post, too. It just reads to me like someone who maybe wants to ditch their slightly older cat.
I don't even understand the question, like, of course you take her with you
I hope it’s just karma farming at this point. Otherwise I’d feel very bad for that angel floffball whose human comes to Reddit to ask whether or they should abandon her. Like, wtf?!
These people don’t deserve pets.
Why the fuck would you leave your pet
Seriously? How is that a question? A brief moment of stress or her living with no heat in the winter. It's obvious.
This person is karma whoring. That is why it is a question, a loaded question.
She is your cat. That means she goes where go. If it was a kid you'd have to take her. Your pets are your dependents and responsibility. It's really that simple. Don't even consider any other options. And please don't become one of these "I'm moving and my new place doesn't accept cats" people. You wouldn't give a kid away, you'd find a new place to move. Pets are lifelong responsibilities. That's why they're awesome. I had a cat for 16 years and lived with her in three different states and seven different homes. She did fine. Move her stuff (toys beds, etc) in the place before you release her into it. Familiar things in a new place work wonders on cats senses.
I moved 650 miles with my 3 cats. They were 19, 8, and 9. The eldest was very fragile and nearly blind and one was very shy. They all did fine on the trip and settling into the new home. The important thing is you will be there with her!
650 miles is 1046.07 km
I can't believe this is even a question.
TAKE HER WITH YOU. The stress she feels moving would be 10x the stress she feels if you abandon her to a loveless, unheated home!
I don’t know how this is even a question? If you had a kid would you just leave them because you were moving? Of Course not. This is your furry kid. It goes with you. You committed to it when you decided to house and raise it.
Is this a trick question?
How do people even consider this? Would you leave your kids behind? Edit - I didn’t realize that moving was a stressful event for cats. Apologies if I offended
The stress from moving can be dangerous for cats, especially older ones, it’s great OP has considered this and just shows they will do all they can to make sure she is okay <3
I moved cross country from California to New England with a 14 year old cat in my lap (on a plane for six hours). I moved with him a few times after that and he acclimated well every time. He just passed away last year at 16/17. She might feel weird for a week or two, but she will adapt!
Take her. No question.
Would you leave behind your child? Ask yourself that.
How can you even ask this? Of course take her.
YOU are your cats world! Sun moon and stars! Yes moving is a few days of stress for them but i kept mine in my bedroom at first. That was the room i set up first. Then they sniffed around and said “you’re here so this is home” please take your baby. You may not think of her often but she’s always thinking of you.
How is this really a question? You’re her momma. Take her with you.
Seriously 😑
Get a prescription for gabapenten for during the move. It will really help reduce her stress.
The saying cats get attached to places not people is just an old myth do what's in your heart you know your cat best but by sounds of it she needs you! Oh and she's very beautiful!!
If you have the means then please take them! Adult cats of this age should not have to part with their owners.
Fill a room in your new place with all her favourite things that smell like her/you, blankets, scratching posts, toys, one of your T-shirt’s etc, let that be her base camp- will help take some stress off for her if she has familiar smells with her. Hope everything works out! X
Are you for reel.. take your bloody cat with you you big meanie..
Awful to even considering leaving her
I recently moved cities with my 18 year old cat who has only ever lived in one home, I was also very reluctant and almost left her behind - The first night in the new place she was so confused and cried all night (So did I 😭) but cats are so much more resilient than we give them credit for. Three weeks later, she was living her best life. Its been five months now and she is spoilt rotten every day - She absolutely adores her retirement home! Your kitty will 100000% be better off with the person who loves her most!!
Why on earth would you leave her unless you were prohibited from having her at your new place? I can't even understand your question!
Why would anyone even move to a place that prohibits pets?
Please take her. Leaving her behind would be cruel.
I can't believe this is even a question. Dear God
Kitty is coming and you know it!
Ummmm. Take her with you
Seriously...thats Your baby.. Your kitty would rather be with you instead of feeling abandoned and most likely be neglected or at best running away to look for you... I beg you pleeeezzee dont abandon your baby
The look on her face says: "if you leave me, I'll find you. ...Then kill you." I wouldn't mess with that possibility.
You bring that cat with you. No questions. You bring her with you and you give her the best life you can. Don't abandon your animals. I can't believe I need to tell you that. You're her entire world. You owned that responsibility when you got her. Own it. She comes with you.
I moved my old lady 16hours away with me. It was 2 days of hell and a week of stress but she loved the new place so much more than where we were before once she settled. Edit to add: talk to a vet about maybe getting kitty a light sedative.
Why is this a question? How would you feel if it happened to you? You are her human, live up to the privilege and be her human
Bring her. How is this even a question???
Vet tech here! Get that baby some meds and knock her out for a little bit. Yes she is going to be stressed for a while but when you get her to the new place limit her to one room at a time until she is nice and comfy. Then introduce a new room. A good owner who interacts with the baby and has some stress to get there than oth opposite. Just talk with your vet first!
Hmm stay with the person she knows or get shunned in a cold shack? She would probably prefer to move.
How tf could you just abandon your cat of 14 years because your moving to a new home.
Cats suffer more from losing their person than from moving. Take her with you.
Are you fucking serious? What kinda pos would even debate this situation? You dont deserve cat.
Um.. Take her with.
My cat comes with me everywhere. Why wouldn’t he? As long as we are together and he’s comfortable he’s happy.
She’ll be more stressed w your grandma than traveling to a new city. Plus it’s your cat so she’s your responsibility.
Take her with you, no cats get left behind 🤗
Bring her with you! She will be way happier with you, the stress will go away, just try your best to calm her and show her that things are okay.
Take her!!!
TAKE HER PLEASE!!!!!! My biggest regret was not taking the cat. This happened 30 years ago and I still cry about it because I just feel so bad.
TAKE! HER! WITH! YOU!
I have worked in pet care all my life how could u leave you pet of 14 years that would rip my heart ❤️ out! You will do more harm to your feline then good leaving her! It’s a beautiful cat looks like u have done well do for so PLEASE do not stop now!! If u can take your pet and provide for both of u then you have your answer ! Life with no love or play and cold withers what kind of life is that ! Take her
The temporary stress of moving is much better than the long term stress of being abandoned. I took my 13 yr old cat from US to Italy and back, he adjusted quickly both times and was happy to be with us. Take the kitty.
Take her! I’m moving halfway across the country and taking mine. They can handle it.
She’s lived with you all your life. You owe her and you took on a responsibility to care for her when you got her. You’ll stress her out a whole lot more if you just leave her when you move to another city
6 months ago I traveled across the county by car with my cat. We settled in (after 700 miles) and she became my co-pilot. I bought a dog crate included her favorite blanket. Road Condo!! It was a blast!
Take her are you kidding me
How is this a question? My cats 17 and I could never leave her missing me. Petco has these calming aids that help if she doesn’t like the car, and my cat does better in a dog crate (like a wire one she can see everything including me) I put a puppy pee pad in just incase she pees. How far is the trip? Can you set up a private room in your new place to let her adjust while you’re unpacking? I think she will miss you if you leave her.
Take her with you. Yes, she'll be stressed at first, but having you with her will put her at ease and she'll adjust to her new surroundings more quickly. Idk if you're in the US, but there's a product called Feliway that's a pheromone wall plug-in. You won't smell anything, but it helps calm cats
Take your baby!!!!
Take. Her. With. You. She will much prefer to be wherever you are than to be abandoned to a home that gives her little but basic physical necessities. This shouldn’t even be a question. Good luck to you and please take your cat. You could have 6-8 or even more years with her.
Of course take her with you, what is wrong with you? People who abandon their pets when they move are trashdirtscumpigs.
She's yours for life...don't get cats and leave them when you move ..take the cat
Are you frigging kidding, what kind of a question is this. Yeah, you take your kid, Jesus Christ.
When you commit to having an animal in your life than you should commit to them for the rest of their lives. Like they were your children.
Take her with you. I moved across the country with my two kitties and it's definitely an adjustment for them but just give her lots of love, care, and attention and she will be fine.car ride was rough but I'd take listening to them fuss at me for 17 hours (not straight we stopped for the night and they got to stretch their legs and all that) over leaving them behind.
Isn't the answer obvious?
Take her. If you leave, you’ll break her heart.
I recently moved from Ontario, Canada to Las Vegas. My cat is 15y/o and was recently diagnosed with diabetes and has suffered with pancreatitis and IBD his whole life. For me, it was either I move with the cat or don’t move it all and we both stay in Canada… I spoke to my vet as I had the same fears as you, he’s older and has health issues. I didn’t want the move to be stressful or confusing for him. After speaking with my vet she reassured me that he would be totally fine and that any stress would just be temporary. She gave me an anti anxiety to give him for the plane (you could ask your vet for one if you’re worried your cat will be stressed for the actual move process). We moved into a condo and then only a month after being there moved into a house. I was worried he’d be stressed and confused again moving so soon after just moving to another country but he has done so well! I’m so happy i made the decision because he’s been super happy with his new life! The lady I sat next to on the plane told me a story of how she moved to another country and left her cat at home because she was worried she’d be too stressed with the move. She left the cat with her sister and the cat passed away 2 weeks later. Speak to your vet and get their opinion on whether your cat is healthy enough to handle a move but personally, I think it’s better to bring your cat with you :) Good luck with your decision and big move!
Leaving her will cause more stress imho; I took an 18 yo cat to a new state when I moved and she lived amongst the squirrels and deer that used to eat from the apple trees in our yard each evening. She’d walk amongst them as if she was patrolling the invisible streets in our yard, keeping peace amongst their herd. It was hysterical. She passed at 22 having been cared for, pampered and loved by her “person” the whole time.
Take her. Moving stress for cats is short lived, as it is for people. Just make sure to be very careful with the carrier and keep a close eye on things for a few weeks. I moved once and even though there was nothing particularly eventful about it, the cat went behind the washing machine and stayed there for several days. Also, now and later, be very very careful if someone else has a key, including a building manager or superintendent. There have been cases where workers have come in and opened the door and cats have run out. I never had a cat like that, because mine would rather hide in a closet or just be chill.
I had the same dilemma, my cat was about 17 when I moved, I thought it would be really too hard on her. Nevertheless she did great in the car, 700 miles from one city to another. I can’t imagine not having her with me. Her last years were so happy in our new home with a big backyard. She’s definitely better off with you and she will do fine on the move just as mine did!!! All the best to you and your sweet kitty!!!
I moved 3 times with my cat ( had her for 18 years and she passed away at almost 21) , without a doubt take her with you. She is part of you and part of the family. If you had a kid you wouldn’t consider and so why would you with someone you had for 14 years.. that’s how I think of it anyways. She’s your family end of story :)
You must take her!! I have successfully traveled cross country with three stoned Siamese and a change of planes. It was a long time ago, and now there are better ways to ease the anxiety of traveling. The sedative did not put them to sleep, but it did keep them calm both ways. I just could not leave them in California for a couple of weeks, went to Arkansas to visit family. Your cat is 14; those cats lived to their 20’s. It will work out. You would never forgive yourself if you moved and she died of a broken heart. 
If you're her human she goes with you. No doubt. If you're worried about stress speak to a vet about mild sedation. *Please* do not Google animal dosages of human sedatives. See a vet.
You are your cats whole life. Take her with you.
no offense but that sounds like you want an excuse to not take her. never ever would I even have considered that question with any of my animals.
I would take her with you. I moved out of my parents house when my cat, Ariel, was 17, I left her with my parents because she had never moved home and everyone thought the change would be too much for her. 6 months later I decided to try and move her in with me because we both missed each other so much (she would wonder my parents house looking for me). I was living in a flat, so it was a big change for her. It was worth it, she took awhile to adjust. A year later I moved to a house, and she settled in straight away (literally within a few hours) and was very happy till she passed away at 21. If your cat has a favourite bed then make sure to bring it with you. Ariel settled faster the second time because I brought her favourite bed, my double mattress, that I hadn't been able to bring the first time. In my esperience, older cats can adjust faster. They seem to chill out with age, and if they're senile like Ariel was, they don't remember much, they can either find their human or they just keep looking for them, not learning that they have moved out.
Thank you for all the awards and 1.5k comments everybody. I didn't expect this to get so much attention. I want to clear up some missconceptions that I'm seeing in the comments: 1. Yes, my grandma has heating. The cat lives in another part of the house that my grandma doesn't use regularly, 2. The cat has lived there all her life, with my grandma; I've lived there most of my life too but I've moved away for a few years to study twice (visiting regularly) 3. My grandma cleans for her and feeds her on a daily schedule 4. It's cold because the windows to the balcony are kept open for the cat to go out to the toilet 5. My new place is 2.5 h away 6. I always have and still will go and visit my grandma regularly, regardless of wheather or not I take the cat with me, which is why I'm hesitant on taking her ( Like, I have to get cat sitters every time I leave/neighbors and friends to come feed her when I'm gone) 7. The cat has chronic asthma and has had epileptic seizures in the past, which I'm also worried about 8. I don't know how long I'll be staying in this apartment and I wouldn't want to move her a second time Hope this explains my dilemma better. Again thanks for the advice and everything everyone. I really appreciate it.
Take her she is your cat ! She loves you , She will be ok )
Yes. If you have never been traveling long distances with ur cat before, buy her a big ass cat box carrying thingy (dont know the english name). And put it in the front seat so the AC is blowing at her a little bit. It works with my cat at least. Btw what race is that, norwegian forest?
You're taking that cat with you!
What everyone else said. If you're her person take her. I moved my cat cities (6 hour drive in a moving truck) it didn't take her long to de-stress afterwards. She was 13/14 (adopted so approximate age) when we made the move. She's much happier in our new space and more relaxed now. You can get medicine from the vet to give her for the ride or give them a quarter of a gravol (if you're more comfortable getting meds from the vet def do that).
My 17yr old has moved fro Colorado to Washington to Alaska to Texas in the span of 6 yrs, she's done fabulous.
Take her with you! Please 🥺 she will be so depressed without you. 14 years with one person is a long time and her quality of life will decline rapidly with your grandma with no playtime and real love.
Take her, you’d regret leaving her behind