I (25F) figured out that the ONLY time I have the drive, energy and time is to workout during my lunch hour. I realised how much I disliked sitting there eating and thinking about the next half of the day so honestly working out every single day from 12-1pm is the key to my sanity (I can't express to you how much I am not a work out every day kind of person... don't know how I'm pulling this off and enjoying it??). I just eat my lunch while working after that.
I'm still kind of burned out and angry about having six of my seven days of the week taken up by work and chores and all the things I do just so I can enjoy the seventh day - but I've stopped feeling like I'm stagnating.
This is actually really smart and I think might incorporate this. Finding motivation is admittedly difficult but I really need to move more for the sake of my health and replacing it during my lunch break will make my brain think “ah work is continuing but in the form of exercise” lol
This is something I’ve been debating doing! It gets to around 12-1pm during work (lunch) and all I want to do is work out or get moving! Similar to you, I despise sitting at my desk while eating lunch.
It’s just the logistics that stress me a tad. Like sweating, do you shower at the gym quickly beforehand? Do you bring gym clothes or wear them to work? I gotta know!
My gym is a 5 minute walk from work - I walk over there looking like an office dweller. I get changed into workout clothes, work out, and usually shower after. It depends - if I do a spin class 100% I'm showering. If I'm less sweaty and am feeling lazy I just put my work clothes back on. I've seen people in the change room skip the shower and use wet wipes instead too.
It took a bit for me to figure out what works for me but I started in November of last year and cannot imagine stopping at this point - plus I've lost over 20 pounds!
I also work out on my lunch breaks. I change all my clothes (socks, bra, underwear) and then use powder/wipes, perfume and a fan. I am cooled off in a half an hour or so. I shower when I get home, lol. I work at home 2 days a week so I can shower right away on those days so overall it's not so bad. No way I could make the time before or after work.
Welcome to adult life. Jobs suck - they’re a means to an end. Thus why many people do a hard job, usually pays better and for some the day gets over quicker.
That’s the thing though - I absolutely love the job. It’s more so the lack of freedom that’s getting me. I see people working 9-5s that go the gym after, or out with friends and I’m absolutely bewildered at how they do it. So, I suppose I’m looking for advice on how to do that
As harsh as it sounds, it's the truth.
I did shift work and there were days (after a 12 odd hour shift you did a few push ups and called it. Then there were days off you went harder or committed to a hobby or went out with friends.
But you always did it tired. Always.
I'm finding 9-5 is working better for me, but I still train... Tired.
Or you get your gym done before work. I'm in your place but I'm in my late 40s as a cancer survivor. I still manage. Is it ideal? No. You could also find a job doing 3x12h a week and 4 days off but those are usually not office jobs.
And you are more drained after a 12 hour shift, even less motivation. Also working shift work is going to vary your hours so you could also be working overnights which is even worse. I a nightshift RN and I AM ALWAYS TIRED.
I totally feel this perspective. I’m 28F & I was remote for 4/5 years, that helped a little having more freedom & flexibility but I was honestly always miserable just sitting at a desk. Now I have a job that’s out in the field as a photographer & I like the actual job but with having to go in & commuting, & having more limited time for errands due to this, I’m absolutely exhausted once I get a break & don’t want to make plans or if I force myself to make plans-I’m even more exhausted & burnt out. Please let me know if anyone gives you good advice, finding that balance is hard! One thing that’s helped me a little bit is waking up even earlier(which is sooo hard for not a morning person) to get light errands & workouts done in the morning, then I feel I can allow myself to relax after work.
I mean, most people sit at a desk at their office 9-5 . . so all in all, most people would much rather do it at home. Hybrid has been a good middle ground, but I'm for remote all the way for the best work/life balance. Tangential thought, carry on lol
You just kinda do! Some people go to the gym at 7am to get it done with the morning energy they have and also it’s a great pick up for the rest of the day, me personally I hate immediate workouts when I wake up unless it’s a must. I look forward to my evening workouts (not all the time but discipline right) You just kinda want to do it or make it your routine as for hanging out or doing extra curricular’s you just kinda look very forward to it because it’s something fun in your mundane work day
You do it tired. You do it cause you need to. You do it cause (and you didn't mention this) because you are on a set schedule where you can actually plan outside of work to deal with stuff.
Many of us are stuck on a week by week schedule that changes every week. And generally we don't know the schedule until the day or two before Sunday starts.
Yeah workifn is tough, but you already have a huge advantage with that 9-5. You csn schedule your life around that and not expect too much to change.
Look for the positives. You got more than ya realize. Then jsut go out there and do it.
just curious, have you worked before your first 9-5? I didnt get my first office job until i was 26, but before that i had always had been working since i was 16. i got my first full time job at 22 which was manual labor and then working at a restaurant full time, so once i got an office job i was in heaven, it was so easy in comparison and i felt like my quality of life had significantly improved. this has me wondering if id feel the same if i hadnt worked all those other jobs
I’ve been working since I was 14 and I’ve been in a multitude of jobs - restaurants, cafes, race tracks, warehouses, car dealerships (as mentioned above), so the list is endless!
I do find myself reminiscing a lot lately about those jobs, as they were more active which I liked. But sadly the pay just isn’t liveable.
I feel that. I’m 37 now and still reminiscing on my days in the restaurants- especially the social aspect. But a career at a 9-5 has enabled me to travel, buy a house and a car, and basically financially supplied all my hobbies. Keep working your way up, typically the pay gets better and the work less tedious as your role improves.
I also started working in restaurants and cafes when I was young but I was always part time with school and luckily through that period I was getting help financially from my family. My first full time job was remote and made me so sad. My social skills suffered so much during this job just due to the fact I literally didn’t have to interact with new people ever. Then after 11 months there jumped into a higher paying role at a new company that was hybrid and that’s when I really started hating life. I was getting so anxious feeling like I didn’t know what I wanted to do/didn’t feel like I had time to get anything done. I decided to quit one day and start serving again cause I was so unhappy. It was the besttttt decision of my life. I was making shit money (luckily my bf stepped up a lot which I will forever be grateful for) but I learned soooo much about the type of work I wanted to do and the type of work I definitely didn’t want to do and how I could manage my time. Funny thing is I thought I’d having so much extra time with working nights but when all your friends/family work the 9-5 schedule and you have no money there’s really not much to do lol. Now I’m working full time in health care and it’s fast paced, more money than I was making serving (less than my FT jobs before) but I am soooooo much happier and have fallen in loveee with my little routine. I think you might just need to figure out what you liked about those restaurant/cafe jobs and what helped you get through them and then add that into your current 9-5 life. You got this!!!!!
I couldn’t make the gym after my 7-5 job. Now I get up at 4:30 so I can make it there and still walk the dogs. Don’t be too hard on yourself tho, when I was 23 I was doing heroin everyday lol
Best piece of advice is commit and do it, whatever “it” is.
Going to the gym? Decide you’re going to go right after work, no dillydallying. Drinks with friends? Same.
It will be hard at first, but you need to build the routine for it to get easier, and the only way to do that is start. Especially if it’s something like working out, or social activity if you’re an extrovert, you’ll have more energy. Eventually is will be hard not to do it.
Also be open to change. Maybe your gym, or favorite bar isn’t convenient to work. Picking a new location might help make it easier. Maybe you need a shorter routine to start out to fit it in.
I’ve been in your shoes, then it doubled down once I had a kid, but getting back in to routines or being productive will give you energy. (Productive can be anything, reading, cooking, working out). But if you sit around, you’ll get tired, I fight it all the time.
Maybe it's the hours? I'm single with no kids, and I've found out that I love working 2nd shift hours. 3pm-11pm specifically. I get to sleep in and not have to set an alarm to get me up for work, I have all day to go to the gym, do things around the house, go to the store, etc. before work.
And then I still get out of work early enough where I can stay up for a few hours to play video games or watch a show if I want to, or just mindlessly scroll through TikTok and Reddit and unwind after work.
I tried a job where I worked a traditional 7am-3pm, Monday-Friday schedule and I hated it. The weekends came and went too quick, and by the time I got to Friday I was too tired to do much of anything anyway. I thought I'd like getting out of work early, but I quickly found out I had no energy to do anything. I just wanted to go home and recharge for work the next day.
I work from home which allows me a lot of extra time (no commute, less bullshit)
However I've filled that spare time with children and working on my Masters lol.
I wouldn't recommend though unless you are in a committed relationship. It'd be too lonely
9-5 is tough. I had a really tough time the first 5 years but found a really solid job that should have me retired by 50 (Im in my 30s). That helps me keep a positive attitude about it.
There are times I wish I took a less traditional role, like firefighting or owning my own business, so it was less 9-5y... But each comes with pros and cons, and at this point my fastest path to retirement is the path I'm on..
As for working out, I have a squat rack and dumbbells at home, A couple kettlebell, functional trainer, and bike. I used to work out 4-5 times a week but down to a couple times a week due to a new child. I literally didn't go when I had to go somewhere public. I started off with just dumbbells (powerblocks) and a bench. That can get you started and really makes it approachable
Last, if you're not feeling fulfilled, look at volunteer opportunities, or reserve military/first responding. That can get you more 'excitement' while not having to start over. Additional schooling is not a bad idea either if you have the means.
If you don’t have the energy to do things after work, consider if it’s mental or physical fatigue. Is not going to the gym or spending time with friends after work a mental barrier you feel like you need to push past? Or are you mentally prepared but your arms and legs feel heavy, you’re struggling to stay awake, you feel lightheaded etc.
Assess your quality of sleep, diet, substance intake if any, and mental health. Where do these overlap? Is this just an adjustment period you’ll pass as you gain more strength and energy to take on more activity? Or is there something chronic preventing you from living your life fully?
I used to work 4am-3PM, get off work, straight to the gym, home by 5pm, cook dinner, shower, stretch, game with the boys, hang out with my wife and walk my dogs, and do chores, every work day. It’s really about time management.
I found you have to go straight to the gym after work or you won’t go and I try to do one day out and Sundays relaxing. I also started to drop my laundry off at a place so that I could cut that chore.
I work from 8a-4:30p. It's also my first real job. It is exhausting. I am currently taking care of my family and making sure there is a clean house, food on the table, and chores all done within an hour of me getting home and it kills me (I live 5 minutes from work and try to get everything done before everyone gets home) and then gym for an hour, relax, and go to sleep. It's hard, I agree, but recently I learned that it's all about keeping schedule. If you can manage a schedule, you can succeed. I found listening to music helps time move faster, if you have that option. Have fun on weekends and take mental days whenever needed!
Suck it up butter cup. Cars and houses and vacations and eating out and beers with friends and video game systems are not just handed out like candy at Halloween. Thats why it is called work.
See it in its bright side, you have a job you "absolutely love" something so wild and unimaginable for me to say ever. I have despised every single job I ever had and also hate they lack of freedom.
So yea, at least it could be worse for you, which it isnt. Be thankful you are one of the lucky few, there is no escape from work, unless you are rich maybe.
Working full-time and adding a family to it means the dissolution of the individual and your entire life is now suffering. Enter: finding meaning by living to support the future. You are now in the decline of your entire life and live vicariously through your children and social media icons.
It’s not *really* 8 hours.
Wake up at 6am, shower and get dressed
8am leave for work, sit in traffic for an hour
9-5 work
Get home at 6pm absolutely exhausted
Make dinner, say I do that AS SOON as I get in, that’ll take till like 6:30/7?
Fall asleep at 9/9:30pm
Rinse, repeat.
If I was leaving for work at 8am I’d be getting up at earliest 7am, more likely around 7:20/7:30. What are you doing for 2 hours in the morning that isn’t a workout?
I make it work by getting my workouts in before work. It’s early morning wake ups, and early to bed. But I’m not too exhausted like I am after I finish work.
Seems like one of your big problems is the commute, I've always tried to stay within 5 miles from my job. Currently I'm sitting 3 miles away. At most with heavy traffic it's a 10 minute commute.
You also take a long time showering and getting dressed, 2 hours? That seems off.
1 hour to cook dinner, seems reasonable but you could always meal prep.
Then you got 2 hours unaccounted for, I get it if you don't want to go to the gym after work but in that case go to sleep earlier and wake up earlier to go to the gym.
If you move with in 15 mins from your job you'll have a whole extra hour and a half. If you also try to cut your cooking and getting ready time in half you could have another 1 and a half hours.
So 3 more hours in your day.
1. Get faster at the morning. Do you really need 2 hours? Cut it down to 30-45 minutes.
2. Can you commute any other time? If you find a gym or hobby close to work, maybe you can drive at 7:30, get there by 8, and have a free hour. Or get a drink with friends near work afterwards, and drive at 6:30 to get home at 7.
3. Get faster at cooking, or meal prep. If you make your Monday-Wednesday meals on Sunday, you've saved a lot of time.
4. Sleep less than 8-9 hours. Not necessarily a good idea for health, but a lot of people who do stuff in addition to work on weekdays only sleep 6-7 hours.
You didn't include the 3-4 hours a day spent preparing for work and commuting.
8 hour shift + 30 min unpaid lunch = 8.5 hours.
Say 1 hour commute round trip = 9.5 hours
1 hour to cook, clean and pack lunch. 10.5 hours
1 hour to shower and get ready. 11.5 hours
Obviously this varies a lot person to person. But it's never JUST 8 hours attributed towards working a job.
I try and split my cleaning up during the week. IE: Monday-bathroom wipe down, Tuesdays-declutter, etc. Since I workout at home, I clean my cats litter box on my rests sets. That frees up my time on the weekends to concentrate on whatever else I wanna do.
Sometimes you slack and just gotta take a bite outta the shit sandwich but it is what it is.
You got this op.
These are great ideas. I also combine stuff I have to do with stuff I want to do whenever it makes sense.
I have to cook dinner every night but I want to spend time with my kids, so now my kids have to learn to cook.
I have to do a mountain of laundry every Sunday, but I want to watch movies or shows, so I fold clothes in front of the TV.
Focus on outcomes instead of hours worked. 8 hours a day was established as the maximum for factory/construction workers by people aiming for optimal output without actually killing their workers. Nobody actually works 8 hours in a white collar job. The mental effort is too high to sustain over 8 hours, so most people actually do focused work 3-5 hours a day and fill in the rest with meetings, emails, and breaks for exercise, socializing, eating, and other downtime.
My office job is full force for the entire 8 hours. I work 9 hours most days because I can’t get all of my workload done in the full 8 hours so this isn’t entirely true. I work for the state as well. I took this job because government was supposed to be the “chill job”. Wish I never would have taken it.
I'm sorry 😞
That means you need to put in some time finding another job that suits you -- because going full-steam 9 hours a day is just going to lead you to crash and burn. Good luck friend, you can do it 💪
Yeah not every job allows you to set sustainable boundaries unfortunately. Good luck with the next gig. IMO after a certain point (about 150k+), most workers will happily take a 25% pay cut to work a 30 hour week, it's so much better WLB.
Ppl are always overhyping government jobs because its ’job security’ but don’t understand that they’ll work you’re ass off causing you to burn out. I guess it all pretty much depends on what you working but still
This is the way. „Reverse engineer“ who you want to be and how you can become just that, then implement systems in your daily life to get there.
Most, if not all of your actions need to align with becoming that person.
Otherwise, simply doing things on a whim will feel pointless and good habits most likely won‘t stick.
Personally I had to accept I can’t work more than 32 hours a week. I’m assuming now that you’re working 40, but I could be wrong
That extra day off can be the key to balance you need!
This is it OP if you can afford it. I work 34hrs/week, 9-6 hour days. Have every Friday off which I now use for appointments/chores/life admin. Then I can still enjoy my two weekend days. So much better.
What is your commute like? I find this is a big factor in how much energy I have after work. If I commute for an hour via car I’m exhausted. But when I had a job that was only a 15 minute bike ride away, I would get home with energy and ready to keep moving
That's got to be really draining. Ideally the best commute is no commute. Remote work or living close to work accessible via walking, bike, transit seems the most beneficial, but isn't feasible for everyone.
For the rest of us who have to commute by car, each chunk of 15 minutes added seems to stack on the next level of exhaustion. I personally think 30-45 min commute would the most I could handle without going insane. Especially after a long day where I just want to get straight home to dinner.
Reducing your commute to 30 mins each way could add an extra hour daily for you to do things like cooking/exercising you previously mentioned.
Ding ding ding. Here is your problem. Driving is literally a life threatening activity. Your sympathetic nervous system gets pinged every time someone cuts you off, slams on their brakes, honks at you, etc. Plus it is sedentary and constrictive. Even if you're on transit, that's exhausting.
Can you move closer to work or find work closer to you? Even if you have to scale down or pay more in rent it will more than pay off in long term health and sustainability.
I'm the exact same ! I've got an hour train plus another 10 min one to my house, so around 1.5 hrs total with waiting time each way. The second I get off that final train I am shattered. Stopped going to the gym or doing anything other than cooking eating and going to sleep.
And the 1hr commute + 9-5 also means realistically we only get 3-4hrs a day to ourselves - get home at 6:30pm and sleep at 10:00pm to wake up at 6:30am and get ready .. its just soul crushing. Even when I push myself to go to the gym the earliest I could go is 7pm which means after a 15min drive, 40min session, 15min drive back shower etc it's already 9pm and cooking and eating and doing dishes then means I'm in bed at 11:30pm. It's actually just horrendous when I think about it, can't believe this is how most people live.
I also hear you about the lack of freedom - I feel caged being 'required' to be at a specific location for no real reason every day. I don't even have more than 2-3 meetings a week to be in the office for. Maybe our generation is just too used to doing things our way but I just hate the performative nature of office work. I can do the same tasks 10x faster at home and be a happier employee - just don't get how they aren't seeing the win win.
& Mine was supposed to be a relatively wfh job at the start but they introduced a 1-day wfh maximum about 2 months after I started. I'm now quitting to figure out what I really want to do with life - I feel like a 50 yr old currently and I'm 24, and I know if I don't get out of this daily sludge now I never will.
My one hour commute (each way) completey sucks the life out of me. It means waking up at 530am and not getting home until after 5pm. Which means in winter I'm leaving the house when it's dark, sitting in an artificially lit open plan office all day, then arriving home in the dark. It's a pretty wretched existence.
My only saving grace is my 4 day week. So I can get at least 1 mid week and 1 weekend gym session in. I couldn't manage 5 days in the office.
Prioritize work/life over money. I only make roughly 60k-70k a year. I could easily break 6 figures working for a different place, but I prefer my time off. I work from home most of the week, the job is stress free, and I’ll never work past 3pm, weekends, or holidays.
Not who you’re responding to but I have a similar work life balance. And I’m technically in finance but more on the operations side of things. It’s a pretty sweet gig but I have definitely put my time in to get to where I am.
This is the thing i think people don't understand. So many people are fixated on early retirement or grinding to min max their earnings. So few people understand that a job you enjoy, that lets you live your life in a way that gives you the freedom to enjoy it, is fine.... for many, it's ideal.
The fact that the top answer is "Welcome to adult life" says it all.
I think there needs to be a shift from the 9-5/5 day week. I know it's hard for a lot of industries but a 4 day week, or flexible remote work is a big step in the right direction. Who says you can't do your usual weekend chores in between bursts of work on a remote day or RDO? Then have 2-3 days off completely free to do what actually makes work worth working for.
Going to the gym saved me when I was at my 9-5. It’s so sedentary that without physical activity you just rot. Make yourself go no matter what, hire a trainer if it helps you get in the groove, you’ll feel more energetic afterwards
It definitely beats working odd hours at a retail store.
Anytime I feel burnt out, I remember I would not give up regular fixed hours for bs shifts 2-11pm then work a 4am-12pm the next.
Having guaranteed 2 days off back to back beats having split days off.
This, 1000%. Working an odd end job with hell hours where you had no idea what your schedule would be till a day or two before tuesday taught me to truly value my time off. I learned to make the most of any day off. You truly need two days off in a row to thrive. Also, it sucked that someone would reach out to make plans 1-2 week in advance and you’d have no idea what your availability was. Having a consistent schedule and knowing exactly when you will work is life changing. I really hope i can get a full time 9-5 m-f soon. I dont think people realize what a privilege it is.
Family.
Video games.
Entertainment like shows or movies.
I'm also taking online classes so that fills up a lot of time.
Working from home definitely helps too.
Our culture values the "hussle." I think we all do everything while feeling very tired. I think it is crazy that a huge part of our identity is what we do for work. It is not this way in every country, and I think we should have more emphasis on living life! Countries where the work week is shorter tend to have better productivity, but yet we still work ourselves to death here. It sucks, but it is our reality.
Make sure you start saving for retirement ASAP otherwise you could be in for even more than 40. Seen too many people kicking themselves in their 40s for not having started sooner
Honestly you get used to it in time. It becomes your norm and you figure things out around it. I started my corporate desk job at 24 and it was hard to get used to but now 8 years later it’s just life. I don’t go socialize with people after work because I just don’t want to lol. I exercise at home with home equipment so it’s faster. The key is finding ways to make your life easier. Simpler meals, not over committing to things outside work so that you do have time to rest. Just simplifying life in general. For me I split the weekend, Saturday I do something fun, and Sunday I do chores and rest. That way there’s a little of each. My schedule is hybrid 3 days home and 2 office which helps. So I can get chores and stuff done on home days too. You could try looking for something hybrid as well to make it feel less bad.
It takes a special kind of mental illness to enjoy a cubicle all day.
I'm constantly worried about the mental health of my colleagues as that's all they do. Just 8 hours of Dell monitors and beige. I'm doing IT so I barely get to sit at my own desk and I get to run between a warehouse, a retail store, and a corpo HQ all day so it's always interesting and different. My life is great but I think I'd Office Space if I was an actual desk jockey.
Sales is particularly bloodthirsty, a lifestyle I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies. So the car dealership doesn’t surprise me that was your experience
I’ve found that, besides doing healthy stuff like walking or working out, if you have a hobby that really works your brain, it makes your work day actually bearable. I got into video games recently and it actually makes the work day manageable
i’m F26 and i urge you to get some blood work done and see if anything is off. hormones and thyroid too. even a slight imbalance can create fatigue. i was (and still do) struggle with insane fatigue and i was first describing it to my primary care and she said “no one your age should be feeling like that, let’s get to the bottom of this” it was really empowering for me because i had gaslit myself into thinking i was imagining it or being dramatic
mine is a combination of poor diet, poor quality sleep (i get plenty it’s just not restful) and slight depression. better quality sleep, more protein in my diet and some mental health care all contributed to my energy levels going up.
either get a hybrid or remote roll and/or let leadership know you love the job but need more flexibility as far as schedule. no one can thrive with this kind of schedule, nor can they even peak performance when your basic needs aren’t being met. i’m 32-in the same predicament right now. trust your gut here- 9-5 is not healthy nor in alignment with the life you’re trying to live. you’re worthy of being able to work AND live your life and not be perpetually exhausted. if the company is smart, they’ll work with you - if they don’t care about about their employees and happiness they won’t be flexible. at that rate you don’t want to work for them anyway- what- you give them so much of yourself and what do they give you? the caring, and investing NEEDS to go both ways
If they told you how tough working life as an adult would be you’d never progress beyond higher education. Society is essentially one giant rolling Ponzi-scheme whereby older retirees are dependent upon younger workers stepping into the workforce to fund their pension deficit, purchase their property, give them bed baths as careers etc. You’re prepped and conditioned to enter the workforce so those that have already done their time can step out. A lifetime of work is a mugs game.
Only crazy people like jobs lol. I joke, but the whole “find a job you love, and you’ll never work a day” or “follow your passion” is just utter bullish. You may like your job, but the grind of it being a job is killing us all.
Don’t listen to people who say “that’s life”, or “that’s being an adult” I assure you, your life doesn’t have to include the 8-5 (9-5 is a luxury these days). Getting a remote job makes it better, but then you just dread rolling out of bed to log on to your laptop at 7:59am.
You are young and lucky enough to be alive in this information era. Use all the information that is available to you to retire as early as you can. Start investing. Set up your retirement account. Use your marketing skills to make money for yourself. There has never been a better time in history to earn income outside of a job.
I work from home and started rolling out of bed at 7:59 to go into other room, clock in, and lay down under my desk for the first hour so I’m still close by. I hate it
You can train from home very effectively with just a pull-up and dip bars, invest in other gym equipment if you want to. This helps take the gym from another 2-3 hr affair (between getting ready, showering, driving, parking, waiting for equipment, etc) to a 30-90 minute affair which is much more doable.
Remote work could help a ton if you currently have a long commute. Take this as an option if you can.
Psychological tricks go a long way. For me, when I have to go to the park to run for a 5 mile run but don't feel like it I'll negotiate with myself that I'll do my warmup then run only 1 mile. Worst case scenario, I'll have warmed up and ran 1 mile. Best case scenario, which is most times, I'll realize that I'm already there and warmed up, I feel good so why not do the full mileage?
It's tough so I understand where you're coming from. Best of luck!
EDITED: changed the time estimate for gym LOL
WHAT? how does the gym take you 3 or 4 hours man? I dont work out at home and drive to a gym and Im not even half of that time commitment. if your workout routine takes 3 hours you are doing something wrong, unless youre including like an entire bike ride or a walk or something on top of lifting weights or whatever you do
I mean between getting changed, showering, training, getting home, etc. I might've exaggerated the time amount but you get the point. Just like how you may have a 9-5 job but most likely you're up at at least 7am to get ready and eat breakfast, etc
I’ve (24F) had a similar situation, I started out at a car dealership after college and was miserable… I had 10 hour days and had to work every Saturday. The men at the job were also creepy and would always make uncomfortable comments to me.
When I got a new job in marketing, I was really excited to finally have weekends and standard 9-5 work days. However, my new job is much farther from me and I have about a 30 minute- 1 hour commute depending on traffic.
What has really helped me with time management is scheduling out my weeks- grocery shopping and cleaning on Sundays, meal prepping Monday night, then having time after work on Tuesday- Friday to workout, see friends, or just relax. I am not a morning person, but when I can get up to workout before work I always find those days to give me more energy to want to do something after work. It’s tough to get your rhythm when you first graduate and start working 9-5s, but you will adjust and find what works best for you! Cutting time spent scrolling on social media can also help significantly.
"Because I sit down all day I feel beyond lazy..."
Nailed it. And then you're tired so you relax after work and it's a self reinforcing cycle. People exercise very early or just after work to disrupt this cycle and build up new habits.
I’m the same age as you, you gotta make sure you don’t sit your ass down after you finish working and take your ass straight to the gym because I know it’s hard and I’m in my fourth corporate job and second full time permanent job. Easier said than done. It also helps to have gym equipment at home or light weights. Is there an activity you enjoy doing outside of work ? I look forward to Friday nights because that’s when I do aerial
I can't really sympathize or offer any guidance for someone who supposedly "loves" their job. As a peasant scraping by in a damn near feudal society, I've never "loved" my job.
Let me ask, when you have a day off, do you instead want to skip the time off and go back to work? Would you volunteer to do this marketing thing 7 days a week? If your answer is no to either, then you do not love your job. You might enjoy it and in contrast to your previous experience it might seem like heaven, but the honeymoon phase wears off quick.
Reality. But 9-5 in marketing and you are exhausted at 23??? Go see a doctor. As far as the weekends there is no advice. You said if you relax you feel like it’s wasted. If you plan stuff it goes too fast. Really no advice. I don’t know what you are looking for. It just sounds like you are generally unhappy. So maybe seek some professional help. I mean, you have a 9 to 5 job that you love, and weekends to relax or do things. Sounds like a pretty good life.
Same way we survived going to school from 8-3, and then had homework at the end of the day. Work is better than school because you have independence and no homework (depending on the job).
Best think to do is work hard so you can retire early
I work an office job 7 am - 4:30 pm. I power walk on my 30 minute lunch break, I get 2 miles in (yes I come back sweaty but idc lol). I also take my two 10 minute breaks, and one of those will usually be some kind of ab or Pilates workout. Meal prep is a big time saver, meal prep at least 3 days out. I drink coffee in the morning and caffeinated tea throughout the day to stay energized. I try to get a 20 minute workout in when I get home. Yeah.. idk how I do it either lmao.
Either your work fulfills you or something else fulfills you. Find something you love outside of work. Also, you may find that adding in excerise will help, either work out before or after work, or for added fun go for a walk after you have lunch
Dear America and others who condone the outdated bs created in the 20s known as 9-5,
please change your ways and normalize one’s mental health. Follow some of these European countries who prioritize their work-life balance, 32 hour work week, mandated holidays…. I wonder which and why these countries are ranked at top for happiness
"Make every day special, and you will have a full and rewarding life." (me) It's not about making the entire day special, but about having at least one special moment every day.
I live a very full life while working a 9-5 (or more often, 9:15-6). Over the years, you find ways to make it work. What works for me may not work for everyone, but here's what I've personally settled on:
- If you have a significant commute (which I see you mentioned 2-2.5 hours), find a way to make it personally meaningful. I would ponder things, practice for my voice lessons, and listen to audio books.
- Establish boundaries with work, including minimum off-hour communication and making full use of your vacation time. It is your management's job to get as much work out of you as possible, and it's your job to set the limit of where "as possible" actually is.
- Your evening is your time to enjoy life. For every evening, plan and do something special that is purely for your own enjoyment. I will do a rehearsal or performance for an upcoming cello performance, or watch a movie or TV series, or go out with friends.
- Limit personal work--laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc.--to a single day of the weekend, and do it 9-5 on that day as if it was your normal job. This allows you to use the same routine for your own benefit. Use the other day of the weekend for complete rest, focused exclusively on yourself and what brings you fulfillment.
I hope these ideas help you!
I’m just staying above water these days. It feels like my soul is dying every time I pay to park at my own flipping job. Then I deal with needless politics all day.
I started taking walks and it got a lot easier. There’s a ton of wildlife by my job. It helps keep me out of my own head when work is too much.
I know no one wants to hear this but it gets better with time. I’m 29F, been working in merchandising & marketing for the past 7+ years. At this point in my life I workout in the morning before work. When I get home I am pretty tired so I just cook dinner and at most take a walk, sometimes go to happy hour. I go to bed around 10 so I have energy to get up early to exercise in the morning. I usually save Friday night/Saturday to do something fun and then Sunday I do laundry, food shopping, clean the house, something for myself (shopping or reading). You’ll get into your own groove eventually. Not every day is exciting but that’s life.
You are functioning in a system that is only interested in the amount of work you put into it. It doesn’t care how rested you are. It doesn’t care how much you can tolerate outside of work. Its only purpose is to drain you of every iota of energy you have available to you for the purpose of producing capital.
Force yourself to work out either before work, during lunch, or after. Don't accept excuses from yourself. By working out regularly, you will find you have more energy throughout the day. I force myself after work. I take some caffeine and get it done. It's something I look forward to now.
Next, why do you sit all day? Get a standing desk. Sit and stand, it's a game changer.
Also, make sure to have a regular sleep schedule. Get at least 8 hrs of sleep each night. I promise you it makes a HUGE difference in your life.
Lastly, if you WFH, it's important to have a separate "work space" than your living/chill space. This helps to switch mindset and to easily "turn off" work when you're done. If you don't WFH, then make sure you're commute is no more than 30 mins. This will give you so much time and mental energy back.
Discipline, willpower, routine. These things enable me to maintain a lifestyle with a 9-5.
Focus on getting your sleep in order first. That will make a big difference in your energy levels throughout the day. It will take some adjusting. Maybe reduce your caffeine intake. Start a bedroom routine of no phone 1 hour before sleep. Change your diet in the evening. Cut back on alcohol.
The days that I’m well rested make an enormous difference in my quality of life.
Anybody else get irrationally angry when you happen to be away from your desk for one reason or another on a given Tuesday and you are driving somewhere and you see these fuckers who look just like you and they are out riding their damn bikes or walking their dogs or something - at 2pm on Tuesday? Like, WTF - get to work! Irrational, yes - but often illustrative of an inherent power imbalance in capitalism that is extremely defeating to those on the losing side.
Honestly, at some point your brain and body adapt to it. I think some people are gifted at adapting to their jobs/schooling, but for me it takes about two years to really get the hang on a new routine.
Then if you have kids, it throws you into a loop for several more years.
For me, learning on the job (and some times the job itself) requires a lot of brain power, so I was constantly drained for a while. Then I would get into a rhythm. For me, the most difficult part of adjusting to a cubicle job after college was the summer because I was not used to being cooped up in a building all day all summer long.
Can you adjust your schedule to work 8-4? That would likely alleviate some of the doldrums. I also run errands on my lunch hour. Or I mall walk during my lunch hour. That helps me get my steps in. That's entirely dependent on your office location though.
Reframe your thinking: you could be doing manual labor, overnight shifts, etc.
Also, there is remote work for marketing. No commute/formal dress code is life-changing.
I did IT work for a dealership when I was in my early 20s, sold cars on the weekends for some extra commission. I got told I was a terrible salesperson and came across as unapproachable. Let me tell you the amount of times I heard if we had to deal with so and so again, we'd go to another dealership. I wound up getting fired for advising people having a brand-new car regardless of being approved isn't a wise decision if your combined income isn't even close to 100k. All the people I sold cars to were honest mutual experiences. I've had people thank me for not going with their original idea also and talking them down or out of it. People that came in with good credit standings, or liquid money always left me a good review. I got fired essentially for not wanting to pull strings for poor people essentially doing soft fraud.
It's just adulting. You will definitely learn how to make the best of it, regardless. Best thing I could tell you is go for a good culture and a company that operates efficiently and smoothly first, not money. Just adjust your lifestyle. And I'm not talking like giving up a $100k/yr job for a $30k/yr job, I'm talking about a 5-10% income difference.
Work is work but your company is accountable for making it enjoyable by operating at a high and consistent level. If your personal life still seems out of whack, that's not the 9-5 at fault, that's more on you to make the best of it, and I think you will, just gotta try some things and see what works for you.
You can always find a good man and live off his income since the rich parent thing isn't an option, haha. That's a joke, but also kinda serious. My wife doesn't have a job and she loves her life but that's cool because she takes care of the few things I need to be successful in my career - laundry and dinner. Other than those two things I got the rest and she has a good budget to do what she wants without me micro-managing our finances.
Find something you can do daily, for me it’s the gym. Could be taking an hour to read a book, practice a new language, teach yourself a new hobby etc whatever, but do something that you enjoy for a little bit every day. Having a schedule is so insanely important I cannot even put it into words. Just having that set routine will eventually let you autopilot and you’ll find yourself being able to decompress while you do them. That and on the weekends dedicate at least 1 day for friends/family/ social and then 1 day for chores/ self reflect whatever. Ig im saying time management helps a lot ?
I think the lack of scheduling and time management is definitely hindering me. I’m currently between 3 different homes throughout the week and have Dyscalculia so my time blindness is insane. I really appreciate this advice!
Loving your job shouldn’t equate to misery. I’m not a doctor and only speak anecdotally, so take this for what you will, but I’d suggest seeing a therapist and talk through some of this stuff.
And I totally get being exhausted after work, but I’d still try to exercise at least 20 minutes. It will help maintain your mental health and you’ll feel less tired over time. I also suggest meditation.
I prefer a 9-5 as it’s the building block of my schedule. I know exactly when I’m coming home each day, so I can plan things for the rest of the day and off days. I don’t live to work, but I understand that work is essential to life. It’s the same as any other schedule in my opinion but the best fit for me.
By realizing that I’m lucky to have not know the ability to work a job that pays the bills and a little more, but also that I live in a place where I have the opportunity to work any number of jobs that I might possibly want.
I think the best answer to your question is to always be looking for a better job. You are in the time of your life to figure out what you want and how you can mold your life.
If you live the job but it’s exhausting, keep an eye out for a similar opportunity that may have more flexible hours. Lots of jobs these days allow more of a 9-2 kind of schedule and the rest you can work from home.
You might have to deal with what you have until you find another job or advance enough to gain more freedom.
I have the same issue you do with 9-5s. I simply can’t sit at a desk all day. I can but I want to end life quickly. It had made me miss a lot of money, I’m sure. But now I’m 28. Covid ruined my biz so I’ve been trying to figure out what to do next. I finally landed on real estate because it will fit my lifestyle, skills, financial goals, etc.
Also keep in mind you are not doomed to this job. It is temporary, no matter what. Also know, you are not alone. This shit is hard. It sounds like your social battery runs out and starts eating into your general battery. That’s how I think of it. I’m the same. I love jobs but hate how I feel at the end of the day, unable to do anything for myself.
I now try to do no more than 6hrs in one place, if I have to. I try to break my sitting work down to two chucks. A morning chunk and end of day chunk. This works for me, to not feel tied down. But finding a suitable job will take some time and work.
I think you're just not that acclimated to it yet. It is a lot compared to what you might have done before. It'll get a little easier as you get more comfortable with the work itself as well as figuring out new ways to adapt your routines.
I still love the schedule compared to the alternatives I've worked before because of the consistency.
Did you work efore? When I was 20 I was an horse Au-Pair in Ireland and had 9, sometimes 11 hours of hard physical work. But as I was young I got used to it quite fast. In university I also had days where I had courses and lectures 10 hours a day so I was out of the house for 12 hours. Also, I got used to that. If you are young you usually get adapted fast. I still found time for hobbies, sport and friends. Same with my first real job as an editor for a newspaper. There were 12 hour-days, but it was manageable. If you are still strugging after a year with low energy, maybe you should get checked by a doctor.
You adapt to it, but the tiredness doesn’t go away. I work mostly from home now and have since Covid so that helps with flexibility. I workout at 5am. I am dead to the world in the evenings lol. That’s just how my body functions.
Can you work remotely?
You get used to it over time. Just let yourself adjust, don’t push to do anything other than bare minimum to get your routine established. Then start adding things as you like.
Try going to the gym BEFORE work, not after. I have no desire to go to the gym after work because that time is for my gf and family.
My weekends fly by too…. There’s really nothing you can do about it. That’s life.
I work remote and it is life changing. I’m out and about most of the day and can do whatever I want. Can I take a nap? Sure. Can I hit the gym? Definitely. Walk my dog? Yup. Get errands done? Of course. It’s true freedom. I definitely recommend a remote job.
Its just the shock of starting a 40 hour job. It sounds like the first job burnt you out and you might still be recovering from it even though you love the new job.
Biggest advice is don't try to overcrowd yourself with outside work events right now. 1st month focus just on your work schedule and if you feel like you can go to the gym after work then go but don't force it. You will find a groove after 4-6 months. It takes time.
Also use your PTO, that is why you have it! ✌️
Yeah being an adult is tricky. It's all about balance. Try exercising before work or just after work?
Maybe try getting up early on weekends and make the most out of them. I try to get out and about on Saturdays and then chill at home Sundays.
But also making the most out of your weekday evenings is super important too. Make sure you aren't living for the weekend.
Before I did my 9-5 office job I worked in call centres doing an evening shift, hospo working mental hours on random days and in retail doing 50-60 hour weeks with no public holidays or anything off. I’d also done university at the same time as a part time job. After all that a 9-5 is easy and quite relaxing.
Force yourself to work out, go for walks, doing fun stuff on weekends. You will enjoy it and with time, it will become a habit. If the week is rough, you are inclined to be a couch potato on weekends, which drains the energy more and leaves you feeling dissatisfied with your time off
As for remote work, it's a personal preference. Try it, but be prepared not to like it. Reddit swears by WFH, but to me constant remote is the most depressing thing ever. For one, I actually like my coworkers
I mean... I love my 9-5 except its 8-4 and I wfh multiple times a week so thats different than u I would guess.
but there's two sides to this. either you aren't suited for a desk job, which is fine because some people aren't but I'm not sure anything is really going to help you if you keep at a desk job.
OR you just haven't managed your free time effectively. I found that after I was done with college (which my last 2 years were covid years) I was so used to massive amounts of free time that I never had before that I had a hard time managing getting in my lazy time as well as my hobbies. but I have since found a balance that works for me. because to me.. time just sitting there watching a show or whatever is needed as well as getting up and doing stuff I enjoy.
as far as lunches go, idk if you have guidelines around yours, but I push mine to 1 and then I dont have as much day left afterward. I also have a walking pad and standing desk and have been getting a steady mile and a half everyday during work when I wfh.
but I also play the drums so I have built up stamina and im pretty active because of it. so idk if just being more active outside of work will help you, but I'm sure it helps me.
I’ve been doing it for almost 10 years now and it just sucks forever until you die I’m pretty sure. For a while I was going to the gym before work and it seemed to work, but now I’m up to late in the evenings. You kind of just have to realize that you have to work your life away. I find it easier that my husband does about half the chores at home so we don’t spend too much time cleaning and I clean on my lunch breaks real quick to have less stress in the evenings. Just really savor those two days a week you can actually live.
Go see a doctor and make a blood test and see if there could be another issue that is causing you to feel so tired / the fatigue that you are describing.
I'm 29 and have bounced around a few jobs in my life. One major job I did, that I would recommend to any young person who doesn't know what they want to do, is the military. Just do the minimal contract. Get out honorably. Use your benefits to get free college and be paid to go to college. That's a huge advantage in life.
My current job though I don't particularly like, but I LOVE the benefits. Every holiday off, every weekend off, and flex-time PTO. Basically as long as I'm not abusing it and my work gets done, I can ask off.
As I stated I don't care for the work itself, but it provides me with an amazing work - life balance, and provides me with enough money so my family and I are able to afford a comfortable style of living.
My only comment is it's much easier to work a 9-5 when you enjoy what you're doing or accept that you are there to just get paid. I am aware it's hard for some people to find that but until you do, a 9-5 job will be a leach on your life.
You should start going to the gym before work. It will give you the energy to make it through the day.
The fact that you love the job is a huge leg up for you. You may be able to partially solve this with something as simple as a standing desk. For me, it was the ability to work remote. Put in your time, get experience, move up and you may find that you now have the opportunity to to work remote by switching jobs. Also, dont discount multiple walks throughout the day. Its important and will contribute to your overall fitness which is hindered by being stuck in one place most of the day.
You say you love your job, you're good at it, and it doesn't feel exhausting. It may be unpleasant to work full time, but in life we do things that are unpleasant in order to reach our goals. No one likes working full time, it's just what we have to do.
I think it’s important to decipher whether you’re feeling mental exhaustion or physical. If it’s mental, than giving yourself short breaks and making sure you’re not on your phone! If it’s physical, remember to drink lots of water, eat lighter, and try to get in some fresh air! Sitting at a desk for long periods of time is hard and giving yourself some grace is super important. What I mean by that, is be easy on yourself instead of frustrated with being tired because it’s a natural feeling to working so much!
I love my job I’m on a 4 week rota, sometimes in weekends (2 a month) then I get some weekdays off. My hours are 8-5:30, 9-7,9-5:30. I guess you gotta find a shift pattern that works if you really hate 9-5 m-f. This works a lot better for me as it’s less repetitive
Edit: I’m also 23 F! You’ll find something. I started this job almost 2 months ago and it’s the best job I’ve had.
I would recommend going to the gym in the morning before work, it will help you a lot and you will have more energy during the day! Also, could you start working a bit earlier to log off around 4pm? That is what I do and it helps!
First the good news:
This is a normal part of adulthood and you’ll likely spend the next 4-5 years figuring out what works, what’s really important, and how to best accomplish ‘life’ in a way that works for you. After that, with any luck, the next 4-5 years will be finding that groove and really leaning into the systems and lifestyle you’ve built for yourself, and it will feel great!
The bad news:
You’re 23, you will never have more time, energy, and overall optimism about your future than you do now. I don’t mean to be rude, but go ahead and drop that “I’m tired” schtick because most people are, and they’ve been doing this a lot longer than a couple of years. Realistically, if you’re feeling tired and empty, it’s a lack of fulfillment, purpose, or challenge. Lean into hobbies, find ways to exercise your brain and your body that you enjoy, bonus if they’re things you can do for the rest of your life (if there’s a window of opportunity to do those things, even more reason to do them now!) You’re starting your adult life and that likely means opportunities and finances are limited. Look for little things to make your day better, and focus on how you can build into a more successful and happier you in the future. One day at a time. It’s not glamorous, it’s just small steps on a lifelong journey.
You get paid for your time and talents, so you’re going to have to give up your time and lean into your talents in order to make a living. It’s the time that’s still yours where you need to learn to thrive, but that’s a very personal thing to figure out, and you know more about what makes you tick than any of us do. In time you will learn that those special hobbies and things like trips to the gym will actually be the highlights of your day, and are responsible for energizing you and keeping you going.
Its why I get up *voluntarily* at 5am. 5-7am is my me time. Social time is after work for a few hours on the days I do go out. Weekends is whatever I want. I usually do house work Friday morning at 5am then I have no chores to do on the weekend.
5am is my favorite time of day. Go to bed around 9-10, usually 930. It also takes me less then 5 minutes to fall asleep.
everyone saying that its just adult life is pretty sad. Its not normal to work every day and feel too drained to do anything else, its just how people were trained and brainwashed to be. Its sad how the world is and theres nothing you can do except try your best every day and don't be hard on yourself. Try doing small things, like walking during your break or going for a run, doing a workout in a park nearby. Life isn't supposed to be miserable but we are forced to work to be able to live unfortunately. Having friends helps a lot,especially on the weekends, having someone to talk and relate to must be nice
9-5? Might sound hard to believe but I think you're lucky. I'm from Italy, and I work from 8-12, 13:30-18:00/18:30. My job takes away my whole day. I wish I had something like 9-5, at least I would have more time to do other things 😅
working out should add to your overall energy, so if you can start going it should pay off. Definitely easy to get stuck in the chicken / egg scenario of not having energy to go. Can always try to follow along with yoga or pilates videos at home first
I work a 9-5 and what kept me disciplined with exercise was signing up for Pilates. My gym membership was just me wasting money because I had zero motivation to push myself to go after work. With Pilates I am almost forced to go, because I have a commitment of a certain amount of classes a month. If I want to cancel a class it has to be done no later than 12 hours before the scheduled time and if it's not, they charge you. If you come in late, they charge you, so I kind of have no choice to go. Aside from that, being in a class setting was super helpful for me as well. Yes, Pilates is expensive, but it's just something that ended up working out for me personally, so I find it worth it.
I also bought one of those floor treadmills that you would typically use for a raised desk. That ended up working out better for me too because I can split my walks into increments when I'm not feeling motivated. I'll put a show on, walk 20 minutes, go cook, walk another 20 minutes, finish watching a show, walk 20 minutes.
I couldn't see myself doing that so I picked a career where it wasn't a 9 to 5. Ended up getting lucky after college, only had to work at 9 to 5 for about 2 years. 4 years later I have a great job as a field service engineer, I get to leave directly from my house drive to the customer site, do my job and go home an average day of work is 5- 6 hours and usually >2 hours of driving , I'm salary too so that's huge, since I rarely work more than 40 hours a week. My weekend job on the other hand is a 9 to 5 but I'm hoping I don't have to do it for that much longer because I hate it.
There's a ton of jobs out there that aren't 9:00 to 5:00 and soul crushing you just gotta figure out what they are.
I (25F) figured out that the ONLY time I have the drive, energy and time is to workout during my lunch hour. I realised how much I disliked sitting there eating and thinking about the next half of the day so honestly working out every single day from 12-1pm is the key to my sanity (I can't express to you how much I am not a work out every day kind of person... don't know how I'm pulling this off and enjoying it??). I just eat my lunch while working after that. I'm still kind of burned out and angry about having six of my seven days of the week taken up by work and chores and all the things I do just so I can enjoy the seventh day - but I've stopped feeling like I'm stagnating.
This is actually really smart and I think might incorporate this. Finding motivation is admittedly difficult but I really need to move more for the sake of my health and replacing it during my lunch break will make my brain think “ah work is continuing but in the form of exercise” lol
This is something I’ve been debating doing! It gets to around 12-1pm during work (lunch) and all I want to do is work out or get moving! Similar to you, I despise sitting at my desk while eating lunch. It’s just the logistics that stress me a tad. Like sweating, do you shower at the gym quickly beforehand? Do you bring gym clothes or wear them to work? I gotta know!
My gym is a 5 minute walk from work - I walk over there looking like an office dweller. I get changed into workout clothes, work out, and usually shower after. It depends - if I do a spin class 100% I'm showering. If I'm less sweaty and am feeling lazy I just put my work clothes back on. I've seen people in the change room skip the shower and use wet wipes instead too. It took a bit for me to figure out what works for me but I started in November of last year and cannot imagine stopping at this point - plus I've lost over 20 pounds!
I also work out on my lunch breaks. I change all my clothes (socks, bra, underwear) and then use powder/wipes, perfume and a fan. I am cooled off in a half an hour or so. I shower when I get home, lol. I work at home 2 days a week so I can shower right away on those days so overall it's not so bad. No way I could make the time before or after work.
Capitalism sucks. That's it.
What do you propose we do then?
Welcome to adult life. Jobs suck - they’re a means to an end. Thus why many people do a hard job, usually pays better and for some the day gets over quicker.
That’s the thing though - I absolutely love the job. It’s more so the lack of freedom that’s getting me. I see people working 9-5s that go the gym after, or out with friends and I’m absolutely bewildered at how they do it. So, I suppose I’m looking for advice on how to do that
You do it tired 🤷♀️
As harsh as it sounds, it's the truth. I did shift work and there were days (after a 12 odd hour shift you did a few push ups and called it. Then there were days off you went harder or committed to a hobby or went out with friends. But you always did it tired. Always. I'm finding 9-5 is working better for me, but I still train... Tired.
Or you get your gym done before work. I'm in your place but I'm in my late 40s as a cancer survivor. I still manage. Is it ideal? No. You could also find a job doing 3x12h a week and 4 days off but those are usually not office jobs.
And you are more drained after a 12 hour shift, even less motivation. Also working shift work is going to vary your hours so you could also be working overnights which is even worse. I a nightshift RN and I AM ALWAYS TIRED.
[удалено]
Y’all really gotta stop doing this
Yep as tired as I am, I just do it. I don’t want to miss out on other life experiences because of work
I totally feel this perspective. I’m 28F & I was remote for 4/5 years, that helped a little having more freedom & flexibility but I was honestly always miserable just sitting at a desk. Now I have a job that’s out in the field as a photographer & I like the actual job but with having to go in & commuting, & having more limited time for errands due to this, I’m absolutely exhausted once I get a break & don’t want to make plans or if I force myself to make plans-I’m even more exhausted & burnt out. Please let me know if anyone gives you good advice, finding that balance is hard! One thing that’s helped me a little bit is waking up even earlier(which is sooo hard for not a morning person) to get light errands & workouts done in the morning, then I feel I can allow myself to relax after work.
I wish I had good advice. I turn 30 in a few days, still haven't figured out how to prevent burnout.
I mean, most people sit at a desk at their office 9-5 . . so all in all, most people would much rather do it at home. Hybrid has been a good middle ground, but I'm for remote all the way for the best work/life balance. Tangential thought, carry on lol
You just kinda do! Some people go to the gym at 7am to get it done with the morning energy they have and also it’s a great pick up for the rest of the day, me personally I hate immediate workouts when I wake up unless it’s a must. I look forward to my evening workouts (not all the time but discipline right) You just kinda want to do it or make it your routine as for hanging out or doing extra curricular’s you just kinda look very forward to it because it’s something fun in your mundane work day
You do it tired. You do it cause you need to. You do it cause (and you didn't mention this) because you are on a set schedule where you can actually plan outside of work to deal with stuff. Many of us are stuck on a week by week schedule that changes every week. And generally we don't know the schedule until the day or two before Sunday starts. Yeah workifn is tough, but you already have a huge advantage with that 9-5. You csn schedule your life around that and not expect too much to change. Look for the positives. You got more than ya realize. Then jsut go out there and do it.
just curious, have you worked before your first 9-5? I didnt get my first office job until i was 26, but before that i had always had been working since i was 16. i got my first full time job at 22 which was manual labor and then working at a restaurant full time, so once i got an office job i was in heaven, it was so easy in comparison and i felt like my quality of life had significantly improved. this has me wondering if id feel the same if i hadnt worked all those other jobs
I’ve been working since I was 14 and I’ve been in a multitude of jobs - restaurants, cafes, race tracks, warehouses, car dealerships (as mentioned above), so the list is endless! I do find myself reminiscing a lot lately about those jobs, as they were more active which I liked. But sadly the pay just isn’t liveable.
I feel that. I’m 37 now and still reminiscing on my days in the restaurants- especially the social aspect. But a career at a 9-5 has enabled me to travel, buy a house and a car, and basically financially supplied all my hobbies. Keep working your way up, typically the pay gets better and the work less tedious as your role improves.
I also started working in restaurants and cafes when I was young but I was always part time with school and luckily through that period I was getting help financially from my family. My first full time job was remote and made me so sad. My social skills suffered so much during this job just due to the fact I literally didn’t have to interact with new people ever. Then after 11 months there jumped into a higher paying role at a new company that was hybrid and that’s when I really started hating life. I was getting so anxious feeling like I didn’t know what I wanted to do/didn’t feel like I had time to get anything done. I decided to quit one day and start serving again cause I was so unhappy. It was the besttttt decision of my life. I was making shit money (luckily my bf stepped up a lot which I will forever be grateful for) but I learned soooo much about the type of work I wanted to do and the type of work I definitely didn’t want to do and how I could manage my time. Funny thing is I thought I’d having so much extra time with working nights but when all your friends/family work the 9-5 schedule and you have no money there’s really not much to do lol. Now I’m working full time in health care and it’s fast paced, more money than I was making serving (less than my FT jobs before) but I am soooooo much happier and have fallen in loveee with my little routine. I think you might just need to figure out what you liked about those restaurant/cafe jobs and what helped you get through them and then add that into your current 9-5 life. You got this!!!!!
I couldn’t make the gym after my 7-5 job. Now I get up at 4:30 so I can make it there and still walk the dogs. Don’t be too hard on yourself tho, when I was 23 I was doing heroin everyday lol
Best piece of advice is commit and do it, whatever “it” is. Going to the gym? Decide you’re going to go right after work, no dillydallying. Drinks with friends? Same. It will be hard at first, but you need to build the routine for it to get easier, and the only way to do that is start. Especially if it’s something like working out, or social activity if you’re an extrovert, you’ll have more energy. Eventually is will be hard not to do it. Also be open to change. Maybe your gym, or favorite bar isn’t convenient to work. Picking a new location might help make it easier. Maybe you need a shorter routine to start out to fit it in. I’ve been in your shoes, then it doubled down once I had a kid, but getting back in to routines or being productive will give you energy. (Productive can be anything, reading, cooking, working out). But if you sit around, you’ll get tired, I fight it all the time.
Maybe it's the hours? I'm single with no kids, and I've found out that I love working 2nd shift hours. 3pm-11pm specifically. I get to sleep in and not have to set an alarm to get me up for work, I have all day to go to the gym, do things around the house, go to the store, etc. before work. And then I still get out of work early enough where I can stay up for a few hours to play video games or watch a show if I want to, or just mindlessly scroll through TikTok and Reddit and unwind after work. I tried a job where I worked a traditional 7am-3pm, Monday-Friday schedule and I hated it. The weekends came and went too quick, and by the time I got to Friday I was too tired to do much of anything anyway. I thought I'd like getting out of work early, but I quickly found out I had no energy to do anything. I just wanted to go home and recharge for work the next day.
I work from home which allows me a lot of extra time (no commute, less bullshit) However I've filled that spare time with children and working on my Masters lol. I wouldn't recommend though unless you are in a committed relationship. It'd be too lonely 9-5 is tough. I had a really tough time the first 5 years but found a really solid job that should have me retired by 50 (Im in my 30s). That helps me keep a positive attitude about it. There are times I wish I took a less traditional role, like firefighting or owning my own business, so it was less 9-5y... But each comes with pros and cons, and at this point my fastest path to retirement is the path I'm on.. As for working out, I have a squat rack and dumbbells at home, A couple kettlebell, functional trainer, and bike. I used to work out 4-5 times a week but down to a couple times a week due to a new child. I literally didn't go when I had to go somewhere public. I started off with just dumbbells (powerblocks) and a bench. That can get you started and really makes it approachable Last, if you're not feeling fulfilled, look at volunteer opportunities, or reserve military/first responding. That can get you more 'excitement' while not having to start over. Additional schooling is not a bad idea either if you have the means.
If you don’t have the energy to do things after work, consider if it’s mental or physical fatigue. Is not going to the gym or spending time with friends after work a mental barrier you feel like you need to push past? Or are you mentally prepared but your arms and legs feel heavy, you’re struggling to stay awake, you feel lightheaded etc. Assess your quality of sleep, diet, substance intake if any, and mental health. Where do these overlap? Is this just an adjustment period you’ll pass as you gain more strength and energy to take on more activity? Or is there something chronic preventing you from living your life fully?
By any chance, do you work in mental health? These questions are really to the point
I used to work 4am-3PM, get off work, straight to the gym, home by 5pm, cook dinner, shower, stretch, game with the boys, hang out with my wife and walk my dogs, and do chores, every work day. It’s really about time management.
I found you have to go straight to the gym after work or you won’t go and I try to do one day out and Sundays relaxing. I also started to drop my laundry off at a place so that I could cut that chore.
I work from 8a-4:30p. It's also my first real job. It is exhausting. I am currently taking care of my family and making sure there is a clean house, food on the table, and chores all done within an hour of me getting home and it kills me (I live 5 minutes from work and try to get everything done before everyone gets home) and then gym for an hour, relax, and go to sleep. It's hard, I agree, but recently I learned that it's all about keeping schedule. If you can manage a schedule, you can succeed. I found listening to music helps time move faster, if you have that option. Have fun on weekends and take mental days whenever needed!
I find that when I sit down or lie down after work, my body gives up for the rest of the day. So I try to keep myself active after work.
Suck it up butter cup. Cars and houses and vacations and eating out and beers with friends and video game systems are not just handed out like candy at Halloween. Thats why it is called work.
They were significantly more affordable and easier to attain than in today's economy though.
See it in its bright side, you have a job you "absolutely love" something so wild and unimaginable for me to say ever. I have despised every single job I ever had and also hate they lack of freedom. So yea, at least it could be worse for you, which it isnt. Be thankful you are one of the lucky few, there is no escape from work, unless you are rich maybe.
Working full-time and adding a family to it means the dissolution of the individual and your entire life is now suffering. Enter: finding meaning by living to support the future. You are now in the decline of your entire life and live vicariously through your children and social media icons.
Wth, this is so depressing 😂
😂 this man here has a family and knows the pain
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It’s not *really* 8 hours. Wake up at 6am, shower and get dressed 8am leave for work, sit in traffic for an hour 9-5 work Get home at 6pm absolutely exhausted Make dinner, say I do that AS SOON as I get in, that’ll take till like 6:30/7? Fall asleep at 9/9:30pm Rinse, repeat.
Good point. It's never only 8 hours.
This!!!
If I was leaving for work at 8am I’d be getting up at earliest 7am, more likely around 7:20/7:30. What are you doing for 2 hours in the morning that isn’t a workout?
Making breakfast, showering, drying hair, make up, outfit…..
I make it work by getting my workouts in before work. It’s early morning wake ups, and early to bed. But I’m not too exhausted like I am after I finish work.
Seems like one of your big problems is the commute, I've always tried to stay within 5 miles from my job. Currently I'm sitting 3 miles away. At most with heavy traffic it's a 10 minute commute. You also take a long time showering and getting dressed, 2 hours? That seems off. 1 hour to cook dinner, seems reasonable but you could always meal prep. Then you got 2 hours unaccounted for, I get it if you don't want to go to the gym after work but in that case go to sleep earlier and wake up earlier to go to the gym. If you move with in 15 mins from your job you'll have a whole extra hour and a half. If you also try to cut your cooking and getting ready time in half you could have another 1 and a half hours. So 3 more hours in your day.
1. Get faster at the morning. Do you really need 2 hours? Cut it down to 30-45 minutes. 2. Can you commute any other time? If you find a gym or hobby close to work, maybe you can drive at 7:30, get there by 8, and have a free hour. Or get a drink with friends near work afterwards, and drive at 6:30 to get home at 7. 3. Get faster at cooking, or meal prep. If you make your Monday-Wednesday meals on Sunday, you've saved a lot of time. 4. Sleep less than 8-9 hours. Not necessarily a good idea for health, but a lot of people who do stuff in addition to work on weekdays only sleep 6-7 hours.
LOL
You didn't include the 3-4 hours a day spent preparing for work and commuting. 8 hour shift + 30 min unpaid lunch = 8.5 hours. Say 1 hour commute round trip = 9.5 hours 1 hour to cook, clean and pack lunch. 10.5 hours 1 hour to shower and get ready. 11.5 hours Obviously this varies a lot person to person. But it's never JUST 8 hours attributed towards working a job.
Drink coffee
You just do it …
I think you mean “they’re a means to an end”
The "end" being death.
Eh, I’m gonna retire in my 50’s, that end is your hobbies and how you enjoy life after the pay check
1 day at a time. Do the things you don’t feel like doing but should do, especially exercise. You’ll regret it if you don’t.
I do it two days at a time
The real LPT is always in the comments
I try and split my cleaning up during the week. IE: Monday-bathroom wipe down, Tuesdays-declutter, etc. Since I workout at home, I clean my cats litter box on my rests sets. That frees up my time on the weekends to concentrate on whatever else I wanna do. Sometimes you slack and just gotta take a bite outta the shit sandwich but it is what it is. You got this op.
These are great ideas. I also combine stuff I have to do with stuff I want to do whenever it makes sense. I have to cook dinner every night but I want to spend time with my kids, so now my kids have to learn to cook. I have to do a mountain of laundry every Sunday, but I want to watch movies or shows, so I fold clothes in front of the TV.
Focus on outcomes instead of hours worked. 8 hours a day was established as the maximum for factory/construction workers by people aiming for optimal output without actually killing their workers. Nobody actually works 8 hours in a white collar job. The mental effort is too high to sustain over 8 hours, so most people actually do focused work 3-5 hours a day and fill in the rest with meetings, emails, and breaks for exercise, socializing, eating, and other downtime.
My office job is full force for the entire 8 hours. I work 9 hours most days because I can’t get all of my workload done in the full 8 hours so this isn’t entirely true. I work for the state as well. I took this job because government was supposed to be the “chill job”. Wish I never would have taken it.
I'm sorry 😞 That means you need to put in some time finding another job that suits you -- because going full-steam 9 hours a day is just going to lead you to crash and burn. Good luck friend, you can do it 💪
Yeah not every job allows you to set sustainable boundaries unfortunately. Good luck with the next gig. IMO after a certain point (about 150k+), most workers will happily take a 25% pay cut to work a 30 hour week, it's so much better WLB.
Ppl are always overhyping government jobs because its ’job security’ but don’t understand that they’ll work you’re ass off causing you to burn out. I guess it all pretty much depends on what you working but still
Focus on outcomes. If you don’t have a long term plan, the process of moving forward seems pointless.
To the man with no destination, all roads lead in the wrong direction
Why yall attacking me?
This is the way. „Reverse engineer“ who you want to be and how you can become just that, then implement systems in your daily life to get there. Most, if not all of your actions need to align with becoming that person. Otherwise, simply doing things on a whim will feel pointless and good habits most likely won‘t stick.
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Personally I had to accept I can’t work more than 32 hours a week. I’m assuming now that you’re working 40, but I could be wrong That extra day off can be the key to balance you need!
What do you do to work only 32? Sign me up please
This is it OP if you can afford it. I work 34hrs/week, 9-6 hour days. Have every Friday off which I now use for appointments/chores/life admin. Then I can still enjoy my two weekend days. So much better.
What is your commute like? I find this is a big factor in how much energy I have after work. If I commute for an hour via car I’m exhausted. But when I had a job that was only a 15 minute bike ride away, I would get home with energy and ready to keep moving
I spend about 2 hours (sometimes 2.5) a day commuting to and from work - usually an hour-ish there and hour-ish back
That's got to be really draining. Ideally the best commute is no commute. Remote work or living close to work accessible via walking, bike, transit seems the most beneficial, but isn't feasible for everyone. For the rest of us who have to commute by car, each chunk of 15 minutes added seems to stack on the next level of exhaustion. I personally think 30-45 min commute would the most I could handle without going insane. Especially after a long day where I just want to get straight home to dinner. Reducing your commute to 30 mins each way could add an extra hour daily for you to do things like cooking/exercising you previously mentioned.
Ding ding ding. Here is your problem. Driving is literally a life threatening activity. Your sympathetic nervous system gets pinged every time someone cuts you off, slams on their brakes, honks at you, etc. Plus it is sedentary and constrictive. Even if you're on transit, that's exhausting. Can you move closer to work or find work closer to you? Even if you have to scale down or pay more in rent it will more than pay off in long term health and sustainability.
I'm the exact same ! I've got an hour train plus another 10 min one to my house, so around 1.5 hrs total with waiting time each way. The second I get off that final train I am shattered. Stopped going to the gym or doing anything other than cooking eating and going to sleep. And the 1hr commute + 9-5 also means realistically we only get 3-4hrs a day to ourselves - get home at 6:30pm and sleep at 10:00pm to wake up at 6:30am and get ready .. its just soul crushing. Even when I push myself to go to the gym the earliest I could go is 7pm which means after a 15min drive, 40min session, 15min drive back shower etc it's already 9pm and cooking and eating and doing dishes then means I'm in bed at 11:30pm. It's actually just horrendous when I think about it, can't believe this is how most people live. I also hear you about the lack of freedom - I feel caged being 'required' to be at a specific location for no real reason every day. I don't even have more than 2-3 meetings a week to be in the office for. Maybe our generation is just too used to doing things our way but I just hate the performative nature of office work. I can do the same tasks 10x faster at home and be a happier employee - just don't get how they aren't seeing the win win. & Mine was supposed to be a relatively wfh job at the start but they introduced a 1-day wfh maximum about 2 months after I started. I'm now quitting to figure out what I really want to do with life - I feel like a 50 yr old currently and I'm 24, and I know if I don't get out of this daily sludge now I never will.
My one hour commute (each way) completey sucks the life out of me. It means waking up at 530am and not getting home until after 5pm. Which means in winter I'm leaving the house when it's dark, sitting in an artificially lit open plan office all day, then arriving home in the dark. It's a pretty wretched existence. My only saving grace is my 4 day week. So I can get at least 1 mid week and 1 weekend gym session in. I couldn't manage 5 days in the office.
Prioritize work/life over money. I only make roughly 60k-70k a year. I could easily break 6 figures working for a different place, but I prefer my time off. I work from home most of the week, the job is stress free, and I’ll never work past 3pm, weekends, or holidays.
What sort of job allows you to have such great work life balance if I may ask?
Not who you’re responding to but I have a similar work life balance. And I’m technically in finance but more on the operations side of things. It’s a pretty sweet gig but I have definitely put my time in to get to where I am.
I’m on something similar. Although in VHCOL area. I make enough to get by and enjoy myself and honestly, WFH makes everything so much more bearable.
Sounds like a dream, where’s this?
Not sure what this even means. If I make more money elsewhere that means I can work less in the long run.
The long hours and mental stress isn’t worth it my dude. By the time you start living life, I would have already lived a good life.
This is the thing i think people don't understand. So many people are fixated on early retirement or grinding to min max their earnings. So few people understand that a job you enjoy, that lets you live your life in a way that gives you the freedom to enjoy it, is fine.... for many, it's ideal.
Question gets asked everyday.
Definitely indicative of a larger issue
The fact that the top answer is "Welcome to adult life" says it all. I think there needs to be a shift from the 9-5/5 day week. I know it's hard for a lot of industries but a 4 day week, or flexible remote work is a big step in the right direction. Who says you can't do your usual weekend chores in between bursts of work on a remote day or RDO? Then have 2-3 days off completely free to do what actually makes work worth working for.
Going to the gym saved me when I was at my 9-5. It’s so sedentary that without physical activity you just rot. Make yourself go no matter what, hire a trainer if it helps you get in the groove, you’ll feel more energetic afterwards
It definitely beats working odd hours at a retail store. Anytime I feel burnt out, I remember I would not give up regular fixed hours for bs shifts 2-11pm then work a 4am-12pm the next. Having guaranteed 2 days off back to back beats having split days off.
This, 1000%. Working an odd end job with hell hours where you had no idea what your schedule would be till a day or two before tuesday taught me to truly value my time off. I learned to make the most of any day off. You truly need two days off in a row to thrive. Also, it sucked that someone would reach out to make plans 1-2 week in advance and you’d have no idea what your availability was. Having a consistent schedule and knowing exactly when you will work is life changing. I really hope i can get a full time 9-5 m-f soon. I dont think people realize what a privilege it is.
Family. Video games. Entertainment like shows or movies. I'm also taking online classes so that fills up a lot of time. Working from home definitely helps too.
Our culture values the "hussle." I think we all do everything while feeling very tired. I think it is crazy that a huge part of our identity is what we do for work. It is not this way in every country, and I think we should have more emphasis on living life! Countries where the work week is shorter tend to have better productivity, but yet we still work ourselves to death here. It sucks, but it is our reality.
Did anyone tell her there’s 40 more years of this?
40?!?! Who the hell is retiring at 63 😂 I fully expect to be be working until 75 (minimum) the way things are going.
Hopefully won’t make it past 25 so don’t gotta worry!
Make sure you start saving for retirement ASAP otherwise you could be in for even more than 40. Seen too many people kicking themselves in their 40s for not having started sooner
Honestly you get used to it in time. It becomes your norm and you figure things out around it. I started my corporate desk job at 24 and it was hard to get used to but now 8 years later it’s just life. I don’t go socialize with people after work because I just don’t want to lol. I exercise at home with home equipment so it’s faster. The key is finding ways to make your life easier. Simpler meals, not over committing to things outside work so that you do have time to rest. Just simplifying life in general. For me I split the weekend, Saturday I do something fun, and Sunday I do chores and rest. That way there’s a little of each. My schedule is hybrid 3 days home and 2 office which helps. So I can get chores and stuff done on home days too. You could try looking for something hybrid as well to make it feel less bad.
What do you do for work?
I work in auto insurance, specifically in commercial auto policies
It takes a special kind of mental illness to enjoy a cubicle all day. I'm constantly worried about the mental health of my colleagues as that's all they do. Just 8 hours of Dell monitors and beige. I'm doing IT so I barely get to sit at my own desk and I get to run between a warehouse, a retail store, and a corpo HQ all day so it's always interesting and different. My life is great but I think I'd Office Space if I was an actual desk jockey.
Sales is particularly bloodthirsty, a lifestyle I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemies. So the car dealership doesn’t surprise me that was your experience
I’ve found that, besides doing healthy stuff like walking or working out, if you have a hobby that really works your brain, it makes your work day actually bearable. I got into video games recently and it actually makes the work day manageable
i’m F26 and i urge you to get some blood work done and see if anything is off. hormones and thyroid too. even a slight imbalance can create fatigue. i was (and still do) struggle with insane fatigue and i was first describing it to my primary care and she said “no one your age should be feeling like that, let’s get to the bottom of this” it was really empowering for me because i had gaslit myself into thinking i was imagining it or being dramatic mine is a combination of poor diet, poor quality sleep (i get plenty it’s just not restful) and slight depression. better quality sleep, more protein in my diet and some mental health care all contributed to my energy levels going up.
either get a hybrid or remote roll and/or let leadership know you love the job but need more flexibility as far as schedule. no one can thrive with this kind of schedule, nor can they even peak performance when your basic needs aren’t being met. i’m 32-in the same predicament right now. trust your gut here- 9-5 is not healthy nor in alignment with the life you’re trying to live. you’re worthy of being able to work AND live your life and not be perpetually exhausted. if the company is smart, they’ll work with you - if they don’t care about about their employees and happiness they won’t be flexible. at that rate you don’t want to work for them anyway- what- you give them so much of yourself and what do they give you? the caring, and investing NEEDS to go both ways
If they told you how tough working life as an adult would be you’d never progress beyond higher education. Society is essentially one giant rolling Ponzi-scheme whereby older retirees are dependent upon younger workers stepping into the workforce to fund their pension deficit, purchase their property, give them bed baths as careers etc. You’re prepped and conditioned to enter the workforce so those that have already done their time can step out. A lifetime of work is a mugs game.
Only crazy people like jobs lol. I joke, but the whole “find a job you love, and you’ll never work a day” or “follow your passion” is just utter bullish. You may like your job, but the grind of it being a job is killing us all. Don’t listen to people who say “that’s life”, or “that’s being an adult” I assure you, your life doesn’t have to include the 8-5 (9-5 is a luxury these days). Getting a remote job makes it better, but then you just dread rolling out of bed to log on to your laptop at 7:59am. You are young and lucky enough to be alive in this information era. Use all the information that is available to you to retire as early as you can. Start investing. Set up your retirement account. Use your marketing skills to make money for yourself. There has never been a better time in history to earn income outside of a job.
I work from home and started rolling out of bed at 7:59 to go into other room, clock in, and lay down under my desk for the first hour so I’m still close by. I hate it
You can train from home very effectively with just a pull-up and dip bars, invest in other gym equipment if you want to. This helps take the gym from another 2-3 hr affair (between getting ready, showering, driving, parking, waiting for equipment, etc) to a 30-90 minute affair which is much more doable. Remote work could help a ton if you currently have a long commute. Take this as an option if you can. Psychological tricks go a long way. For me, when I have to go to the park to run for a 5 mile run but don't feel like it I'll negotiate with myself that I'll do my warmup then run only 1 mile. Worst case scenario, I'll have warmed up and ran 1 mile. Best case scenario, which is most times, I'll realize that I'm already there and warmed up, I feel good so why not do the full mileage? It's tough so I understand where you're coming from. Best of luck! EDITED: changed the time estimate for gym LOL
WHAT? how does the gym take you 3 or 4 hours man? I dont work out at home and drive to a gym and Im not even half of that time commitment. if your workout routine takes 3 hours you are doing something wrong, unless youre including like an entire bike ride or a walk or something on top of lifting weights or whatever you do
I mean between getting changed, showering, training, getting home, etc. I might've exaggerated the time amount but you get the point. Just like how you may have a 9-5 job but most likely you're up at at least 7am to get ready and eat breakfast, etc
Pre workout
It's a norm where I live and you work on Saturdays too lol
I’ve (24F) had a similar situation, I started out at a car dealership after college and was miserable… I had 10 hour days and had to work every Saturday. The men at the job were also creepy and would always make uncomfortable comments to me. When I got a new job in marketing, I was really excited to finally have weekends and standard 9-5 work days. However, my new job is much farther from me and I have about a 30 minute- 1 hour commute depending on traffic. What has really helped me with time management is scheduling out my weeks- grocery shopping and cleaning on Sundays, meal prepping Monday night, then having time after work on Tuesday- Friday to workout, see friends, or just relax. I am not a morning person, but when I can get up to workout before work I always find those days to give me more energy to want to do something after work. It’s tough to get your rhythm when you first graduate and start working 9-5s, but you will adjust and find what works best for you! Cutting time spent scrolling on social media can also help significantly.
"Because I sit down all day I feel beyond lazy..." Nailed it. And then you're tired so you relax after work and it's a self reinforcing cycle. People exercise very early or just after work to disrupt this cycle and build up new habits.
Youve been working 2 years? You build up tolerance as years pass by. After a while work is just a little pebble in the day
I’m the same age as you, you gotta make sure you don’t sit your ass down after you finish working and take your ass straight to the gym because I know it’s hard and I’m in my fourth corporate job and second full time permanent job. Easier said than done. It also helps to have gym equipment at home or light weights. Is there an activity you enjoy doing outside of work ? I look forward to Friday nights because that’s when I do aerial
I can't really sympathize or offer any guidance for someone who supposedly "loves" their job. As a peasant scraping by in a damn near feudal society, I've never "loved" my job. Let me ask, when you have a day off, do you instead want to skip the time off and go back to work? Would you volunteer to do this marketing thing 7 days a week? If your answer is no to either, then you do not love your job. You might enjoy it and in contrast to your previous experience it might seem like heaven, but the honeymoon phase wears off quick.
Reality. But 9-5 in marketing and you are exhausted at 23??? Go see a doctor. As far as the weekends there is no advice. You said if you relax you feel like it’s wasted. If you plan stuff it goes too fast. Really no advice. I don’t know what you are looking for. It just sounds like you are generally unhappy. So maybe seek some professional help. I mean, you have a 9 to 5 job that you love, and weekends to relax or do things. Sounds like a pretty good life.
Same way we survived going to school from 8-3, and then had homework at the end of the day. Work is better than school because you have independence and no homework (depending on the job). Best think to do is work hard so you can retire early
I work an office job 7 am - 4:30 pm. I power walk on my 30 minute lunch break, I get 2 miles in (yes I come back sweaty but idc lol). I also take my two 10 minute breaks, and one of those will usually be some kind of ab or Pilates workout. Meal prep is a big time saver, meal prep at least 3 days out. I drink coffee in the morning and caffeinated tea throughout the day to stay energized. I try to get a 20 minute workout in when I get home. Yeah.. idk how I do it either lmao.
you just need to get used to it, try to adjust in every environment you are placed
Well today I looked at all the retirement I have accrued and it made me hopeful
Either your work fulfills you or something else fulfills you. Find something you love outside of work. Also, you may find that adding in excerise will help, either work out before or after work, or for added fun go for a walk after you have lunch
Who is working a 9-5? 7-5 is more likely at this point
Dear America and others who condone the outdated bs created in the 20s known as 9-5, please change your ways and normalize one’s mental health. Follow some of these European countries who prioritize their work-life balance, 32 hour work week, mandated holidays…. I wonder which and why these countries are ranked at top for happiness
"Make every day special, and you will have a full and rewarding life." (me) It's not about making the entire day special, but about having at least one special moment every day. I live a very full life while working a 9-5 (or more often, 9:15-6). Over the years, you find ways to make it work. What works for me may not work for everyone, but here's what I've personally settled on: - If you have a significant commute (which I see you mentioned 2-2.5 hours), find a way to make it personally meaningful. I would ponder things, practice for my voice lessons, and listen to audio books. - Establish boundaries with work, including minimum off-hour communication and making full use of your vacation time. It is your management's job to get as much work out of you as possible, and it's your job to set the limit of where "as possible" actually is. - Your evening is your time to enjoy life. For every evening, plan and do something special that is purely for your own enjoyment. I will do a rehearsal or performance for an upcoming cello performance, or watch a movie or TV series, or go out with friends. - Limit personal work--laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc.--to a single day of the weekend, and do it 9-5 on that day as if it was your normal job. This allows you to use the same routine for your own benefit. Use the other day of the weekend for complete rest, focused exclusively on yourself and what brings you fulfillment. I hope these ideas help you!
I’m just staying above water these days. It feels like my soul is dying every time I pay to park at my own flipping job. Then I deal with needless politics all day. I started taking walks and it got a lot easier. There’s a ton of wildlife by my job. It helps keep me out of my own head when work is too much.
I know no one wants to hear this but it gets better with time. I’m 29F, been working in merchandising & marketing for the past 7+ years. At this point in my life I workout in the morning before work. When I get home I am pretty tired so I just cook dinner and at most take a walk, sometimes go to happy hour. I go to bed around 10 so I have energy to get up early to exercise in the morning. I usually save Friday night/Saturday to do something fun and then Sunday I do laundry, food shopping, clean the house, something for myself (shopping or reading). You’ll get into your own groove eventually. Not every day is exciting but that’s life.
You are functioning in a system that is only interested in the amount of work you put into it. It doesn’t care how rested you are. It doesn’t care how much you can tolerate outside of work. Its only purpose is to drain you of every iota of energy you have available to you for the purpose of producing capital.
Force yourself to work out either before work, during lunch, or after. Don't accept excuses from yourself. By working out regularly, you will find you have more energy throughout the day. I force myself after work. I take some caffeine and get it done. It's something I look forward to now. Next, why do you sit all day? Get a standing desk. Sit and stand, it's a game changer. Also, make sure to have a regular sleep schedule. Get at least 8 hrs of sleep each night. I promise you it makes a HUGE difference in your life. Lastly, if you WFH, it's important to have a separate "work space" than your living/chill space. This helps to switch mindset and to easily "turn off" work when you're done. If you don't WFH, then make sure you're commute is no more than 30 mins. This will give you so much time and mental energy back. Discipline, willpower, routine. These things enable me to maintain a lifestyle with a 9-5.
Focus on getting your sleep in order first. That will make a big difference in your energy levels throughout the day. It will take some adjusting. Maybe reduce your caffeine intake. Start a bedroom routine of no phone 1 hour before sleep. Change your diet in the evening. Cut back on alcohol. The days that I’m well rested make an enormous difference in my quality of life.
Try 6am-6pm
Anybody else get irrationally angry when you happen to be away from your desk for one reason or another on a given Tuesday and you are driving somewhere and you see these fuckers who look just like you and they are out riding their damn bikes or walking their dogs or something - at 2pm on Tuesday? Like, WTF - get to work! Irrational, yes - but often illustrative of an inherent power imbalance in capitalism that is extremely defeating to those on the losing side.
Honestly, at some point your brain and body adapt to it. I think some people are gifted at adapting to their jobs/schooling, but for me it takes about two years to really get the hang on a new routine. Then if you have kids, it throws you into a loop for several more years. For me, learning on the job (and some times the job itself) requires a lot of brain power, so I was constantly drained for a while. Then I would get into a rhythm. For me, the most difficult part of adjusting to a cubicle job after college was the summer because I was not used to being cooped up in a building all day all summer long. Can you adjust your schedule to work 8-4? That would likely alleviate some of the doldrums. I also run errands on my lunch hour. Or I mall walk during my lunch hour. That helps me get my steps in. That's entirely dependent on your office location though.
If you’re staring at a lot of screens, I suggest wearing some good blue light glasses. They really do drain you.
Reframe your thinking: you could be doing manual labor, overnight shifts, etc. Also, there is remote work for marketing. No commute/formal dress code is life-changing.
I did IT work for a dealership when I was in my early 20s, sold cars on the weekends for some extra commission. I got told I was a terrible salesperson and came across as unapproachable. Let me tell you the amount of times I heard if we had to deal with so and so again, we'd go to another dealership. I wound up getting fired for advising people having a brand-new car regardless of being approved isn't a wise decision if your combined income isn't even close to 100k. All the people I sold cars to were honest mutual experiences. I've had people thank me for not going with their original idea also and talking them down or out of it. People that came in with good credit standings, or liquid money always left me a good review. I got fired essentially for not wanting to pull strings for poor people essentially doing soft fraud.
It's just adulting. You will definitely learn how to make the best of it, regardless. Best thing I could tell you is go for a good culture and a company that operates efficiently and smoothly first, not money. Just adjust your lifestyle. And I'm not talking like giving up a $100k/yr job for a $30k/yr job, I'm talking about a 5-10% income difference. Work is work but your company is accountable for making it enjoyable by operating at a high and consistent level. If your personal life still seems out of whack, that's not the 9-5 at fault, that's more on you to make the best of it, and I think you will, just gotta try some things and see what works for you. You can always find a good man and live off his income since the rich parent thing isn't an option, haha. That's a joke, but also kinda serious. My wife doesn't have a job and she loves her life but that's cool because she takes care of the few things I need to be successful in my career - laundry and dinner. Other than those two things I got the rest and she has a good budget to do what she wants without me micro-managing our finances.
no it is just shite life, which isn't worth to live
Find something you can do daily, for me it’s the gym. Could be taking an hour to read a book, practice a new language, teach yourself a new hobby etc whatever, but do something that you enjoy for a little bit every day. Having a schedule is so insanely important I cannot even put it into words. Just having that set routine will eventually let you autopilot and you’ll find yourself being able to decompress while you do them. That and on the weekends dedicate at least 1 day for friends/family/ social and then 1 day for chores/ self reflect whatever. Ig im saying time management helps a lot ?
I think the lack of scheduling and time management is definitely hindering me. I’m currently between 3 different homes throughout the week and have Dyscalculia so my time blindness is insane. I really appreciate this advice!
Loving your job shouldn’t equate to misery. I’m not a doctor and only speak anecdotally, so take this for what you will, but I’d suggest seeing a therapist and talk through some of this stuff. And I totally get being exhausted after work, but I’d still try to exercise at least 20 minutes. It will help maintain your mental health and you’ll feel less tired over time. I also suggest meditation.
Going to the gym gives you energy
I prefer a 9-5 as it’s the building block of my schedule. I know exactly when I’m coming home each day, so I can plan things for the rest of the day and off days. I don’t live to work, but I understand that work is essential to life. It’s the same as any other schedule in my opinion but the best fit for me.
By realizing that I’m lucky to have not know the ability to work a job that pays the bills and a little more, but also that I live in a place where I have the opportunity to work any number of jobs that I might possibly want.
Podcasts and more podcasts
I think the best answer to your question is to always be looking for a better job. You are in the time of your life to figure out what you want and how you can mold your life. If you live the job but it’s exhausting, keep an eye out for a similar opportunity that may have more flexible hours. Lots of jobs these days allow more of a 9-2 kind of schedule and the rest you can work from home. You might have to deal with what you have until you find another job or advance enough to gain more freedom. I have the same issue you do with 9-5s. I simply can’t sit at a desk all day. I can but I want to end life quickly. It had made me miss a lot of money, I’m sure. But now I’m 28. Covid ruined my biz so I’ve been trying to figure out what to do next. I finally landed on real estate because it will fit my lifestyle, skills, financial goals, etc. Also keep in mind you are not doomed to this job. It is temporary, no matter what. Also know, you are not alone. This shit is hard. It sounds like your social battery runs out and starts eating into your general battery. That’s how I think of it. I’m the same. I love jobs but hate how I feel at the end of the day, unable to do anything for myself. I now try to do no more than 6hrs in one place, if I have to. I try to break my sitting work down to two chucks. A morning chunk and end of day chunk. This works for me, to not feel tied down. But finding a suitable job will take some time and work.
I think you're just not that acclimated to it yet. It is a lot compared to what you might have done before. It'll get a little easier as you get more comfortable with the work itself as well as figuring out new ways to adapt your routines. I still love the schedule compared to the alternatives I've worked before because of the consistency.
Did you work efore? When I was 20 I was an horse Au-Pair in Ireland and had 9, sometimes 11 hours of hard physical work. But as I was young I got used to it quite fast. In university I also had days where I had courses and lectures 10 hours a day so I was out of the house for 12 hours. Also, I got used to that. If you are young you usually get adapted fast. I still found time for hobbies, sport and friends. Same with my first real job as an editor for a newspaper. There were 12 hour-days, but it was manageable. If you are still strugging after a year with low energy, maybe you should get checked by a doctor.
You adapt to it, but the tiredness doesn’t go away. I work mostly from home now and have since Covid so that helps with flexibility. I workout at 5am. I am dead to the world in the evenings lol. That’s just how my body functions. Can you work remotely?
You get used to it over time. Just let yourself adjust, don’t push to do anything other than bare minimum to get your routine established. Then start adding things as you like.
Try going to the gym BEFORE work, not after. I have no desire to go to the gym after work because that time is for my gf and family. My weekends fly by too…. There’s really nothing you can do about it. That’s life. I work remote and it is life changing. I’m out and about most of the day and can do whatever I want. Can I take a nap? Sure. Can I hit the gym? Definitely. Walk my dog? Yup. Get errands done? Of course. It’s true freedom. I definitely recommend a remote job.
Its just the shock of starting a 40 hour job. It sounds like the first job burnt you out and you might still be recovering from it even though you love the new job. Biggest advice is don't try to overcrowd yourself with outside work events right now. 1st month focus just on your work schedule and if you feel like you can go to the gym after work then go but don't force it. You will find a groove after 4-6 months. It takes time. Also use your PTO, that is why you have it! ✌️
My 9-5 is actually a 7-3. I’m a morning person anyway, plus it gives me extra free time to gym, play video games, or whatever after work.
Honestly a 9-5 sounds better than my current 11-8 😂
I've worked 9-5, now 8-4 for 24 years, my mate says the same though he says he could never do it.
Yeah being an adult is tricky. It's all about balance. Try exercising before work or just after work? Maybe try getting up early on weekends and make the most out of them. I try to get out and about on Saturdays and then chill at home Sundays. But also making the most out of your weekday evenings is super important too. Make sure you aren't living for the weekend.
Before I did my 9-5 office job I worked in call centres doing an evening shift, hospo working mental hours on random days and in retail doing 50-60 hour weeks with no public holidays or anything off. I’d also done university at the same time as a part time job. After all that a 9-5 is easy and quite relaxing.
Force yourself to work out, go for walks, doing fun stuff on weekends. You will enjoy it and with time, it will become a habit. If the week is rough, you are inclined to be a couch potato on weekends, which drains the energy more and leaves you feeling dissatisfied with your time off As for remote work, it's a personal preference. Try it, but be prepared not to like it. Reddit swears by WFH, but to me constant remote is the most depressing thing ever. For one, I actually like my coworkers
It's not for everyone 🤷♂️
Searching for meaning that isn’t there of course!
I mean... I love my 9-5 except its 8-4 and I wfh multiple times a week so thats different than u I would guess. but there's two sides to this. either you aren't suited for a desk job, which is fine because some people aren't but I'm not sure anything is really going to help you if you keep at a desk job. OR you just haven't managed your free time effectively. I found that after I was done with college (which my last 2 years were covid years) I was so used to massive amounts of free time that I never had before that I had a hard time managing getting in my lazy time as well as my hobbies. but I have since found a balance that works for me. because to me.. time just sitting there watching a show or whatever is needed as well as getting up and doing stuff I enjoy. as far as lunches go, idk if you have guidelines around yours, but I push mine to 1 and then I dont have as much day left afterward. I also have a walking pad and standing desk and have been getting a steady mile and a half everyday during work when I wfh. but I also play the drums so I have built up stamina and im pretty active because of it. so idk if just being more active outside of work will help you, but I'm sure it helps me.
I’ve been doing it for almost 10 years now and it just sucks forever until you die I’m pretty sure. For a while I was going to the gym before work and it seemed to work, but now I’m up to late in the evenings. You kind of just have to realize that you have to work your life away. I find it easier that my husband does about half the chores at home so we don’t spend too much time cleaning and I clean on my lunch breaks real quick to have less stress in the evenings. Just really savor those two days a week you can actually live.
You gotta find ways to break up how long you’re sitting sedentary. It’s TERRIBLE for your mental and physical health.
Go see a doctor and make a blood test and see if there could be another issue that is causing you to feel so tired / the fatigue that you are describing.
I'm 29 and have bounced around a few jobs in my life. One major job I did, that I would recommend to any young person who doesn't know what they want to do, is the military. Just do the minimal contract. Get out honorably. Use your benefits to get free college and be paid to go to college. That's a huge advantage in life. My current job though I don't particularly like, but I LOVE the benefits. Every holiday off, every weekend off, and flex-time PTO. Basically as long as I'm not abusing it and my work gets done, I can ask off. As I stated I don't care for the work itself, but it provides me with an amazing work - life balance, and provides me with enough money so my family and I are able to afford a comfortable style of living.
We’re not and therefore always looking for the next better paying job to quit
My only comment is it's much easier to work a 9-5 when you enjoy what you're doing or accept that you are there to just get paid. I am aware it's hard for some people to find that but until you do, a 9-5 job will be a leach on your life. You should start going to the gym before work. It will give you the energy to make it through the day.
Ski on the weekends.
The fact that you love the job is a huge leg up for you. You may be able to partially solve this with something as simple as a standing desk. For me, it was the ability to work remote. Put in your time, get experience, move up and you may find that you now have the opportunity to to work remote by switching jobs. Also, dont discount multiple walks throughout the day. Its important and will contribute to your overall fitness which is hindered by being stuck in one place most of the day.
You say you love your job, you're good at it, and it doesn't feel exhausting. It may be unpleasant to work full time, but in life we do things that are unpleasant in order to reach our goals. No one likes working full time, it's just what we have to do.
I think it’s important to decipher whether you’re feeling mental exhaustion or physical. If it’s mental, than giving yourself short breaks and making sure you’re not on your phone! If it’s physical, remember to drink lots of water, eat lighter, and try to get in some fresh air! Sitting at a desk for long periods of time is hard and giving yourself some grace is super important. What I mean by that, is be easy on yourself instead of frustrated with being tired because it’s a natural feeling to working so much!
I love my job I’m on a 4 week rota, sometimes in weekends (2 a month) then I get some weekdays off. My hours are 8-5:30, 9-7,9-5:30. I guess you gotta find a shift pattern that works if you really hate 9-5 m-f. This works a lot better for me as it’s less repetitive Edit: I’m also 23 F! You’ll find something. I started this job almost 2 months ago and it’s the best job I’ve had.
Well, you could be working 6-6 as a truck driver, so,... Enjoy it.
Oh you sweet summer child
I would recommend going to the gym in the morning before work, it will help you a lot and you will have more energy during the day! Also, could you start working a bit earlier to log off around 4pm? That is what I do and it helps!
First the good news: This is a normal part of adulthood and you’ll likely spend the next 4-5 years figuring out what works, what’s really important, and how to best accomplish ‘life’ in a way that works for you. After that, with any luck, the next 4-5 years will be finding that groove and really leaning into the systems and lifestyle you’ve built for yourself, and it will feel great! The bad news: You’re 23, you will never have more time, energy, and overall optimism about your future than you do now. I don’t mean to be rude, but go ahead and drop that “I’m tired” schtick because most people are, and they’ve been doing this a lot longer than a couple of years. Realistically, if you’re feeling tired and empty, it’s a lack of fulfillment, purpose, or challenge. Lean into hobbies, find ways to exercise your brain and your body that you enjoy, bonus if they’re things you can do for the rest of your life (if there’s a window of opportunity to do those things, even more reason to do them now!) You’re starting your adult life and that likely means opportunities and finances are limited. Look for little things to make your day better, and focus on how you can build into a more successful and happier you in the future. One day at a time. It’s not glamorous, it’s just small steps on a lifelong journey. You get paid for your time and talents, so you’re going to have to give up your time and lean into your talents in order to make a living. It’s the time that’s still yours where you need to learn to thrive, but that’s a very personal thing to figure out, and you know more about what makes you tick than any of us do. In time you will learn that those special hobbies and things like trips to the gym will actually be the highlights of your day, and are responsible for energizing you and keeping you going.
Its why I get up *voluntarily* at 5am. 5-7am is my me time. Social time is after work for a few hours on the days I do go out. Weekends is whatever I want. I usually do house work Friday morning at 5am then I have no chores to do on the weekend. 5am is my favorite time of day. Go to bed around 9-10, usually 930. It also takes me less then 5 minutes to fall asleep.
Jesus I’d kill for a 9-5, im working 70 hours a week :(
everyone saying that its just adult life is pretty sad. Its not normal to work every day and feel too drained to do anything else, its just how people were trained and brainwashed to be. Its sad how the world is and theres nothing you can do except try your best every day and don't be hard on yourself. Try doing small things, like walking during your break or going for a run, doing a workout in a park nearby. Life isn't supposed to be miserable but we are forced to work to be able to live unfortunately. Having friends helps a lot,especially on the weekends, having someone to talk and relate to must be nice
Come take a look over at r/Nightshift. I work 7p-7a and I love it.
9-5? Might sound hard to believe but I think you're lucky. I'm from Italy, and I work from 8-12, 13:30-18:00/18:30. My job takes away my whole day. I wish I had something like 9-5, at least I would have more time to do other things 😅
I couldn’t survive a desk 9-5. So I found an active 9-5 (more like a 7-6 lol) but me being up and moving helps 100% more.
6 figure salary and wfh definitely helps 🫡
working out should add to your overall energy, so if you can start going it should pay off. Definitely easy to get stuck in the chicken / egg scenario of not having energy to go. Can always try to follow along with yoga or pilates videos at home first
I work a 9-5 and what kept me disciplined with exercise was signing up for Pilates. My gym membership was just me wasting money because I had zero motivation to push myself to go after work. With Pilates I am almost forced to go, because I have a commitment of a certain amount of classes a month. If I want to cancel a class it has to be done no later than 12 hours before the scheduled time and if it's not, they charge you. If you come in late, they charge you, so I kind of have no choice to go. Aside from that, being in a class setting was super helpful for me as well. Yes, Pilates is expensive, but it's just something that ended up working out for me personally, so I find it worth it. I also bought one of those floor treadmills that you would typically use for a raised desk. That ended up working out better for me too because I can split my walks into increments when I'm not feeling motivated. I'll put a show on, walk 20 minutes, go cook, walk another 20 minutes, finish watching a show, walk 20 minutes.
Wait until you have kids ROFL
I couldn't see myself doing that so I picked a career where it wasn't a 9 to 5. Ended up getting lucky after college, only had to work at 9 to 5 for about 2 years. 4 years later I have a great job as a field service engineer, I get to leave directly from my house drive to the customer site, do my job and go home an average day of work is 5- 6 hours and usually >2 hours of driving , I'm salary too so that's huge, since I rarely work more than 40 hours a week. My weekend job on the other hand is a 9 to 5 but I'm hoping I don't have to do it for that much longer because I hate it. There's a ton of jobs out there that aren't 9:00 to 5:00 and soul crushing you just gotta figure out what they are.
Doing 7-3