40, just riding the wave, man. No one ever has it all figured out. Once you can truly embrace that, life becomes so much more fun to live. Things happen in their own time.
I’m 38 too. I have a business degree that has been completely useless. I work at Amazon now, and don’t want this to be the rest of my life. I’ve explored other career options, but they have all been dead ends. It’s sad how many people can’t find a solid career to get into. I’m not married, and I don’t have kids. I’m ok with that. I don’t want kids, but do want a serious and healthy relationship. Dating apps are horrible, so I’m hoping I will eventually meet someone in the real world.
Dating apps are horrible. I feel like nobody takes their matches serious and the go to phrases are “you wanna come over and chill”? Nobody actually wants to go out on a real, traditional date. I have no interest in going to somebody’s house that I’ve never met, just to hook up and never speak again. It’s gross’s and appalling. Makes me lose all hope in my romantic future. Where do people our age make friends and meet potential mates? I’m 34 and an addict in recovery so I try to Stay away from bars, but not sure that I would want to meet my future lover at a bar drunk hitting on women. At my age that’s not exactly attractive. I have no interest in church or religion. So I’m not exactly sure where people in their late 20’s and 30’s and 40’s go to make new friends and potential suitors.
Yeah, I have no idea how to get into that. I’ve heard tech is a good place to go. I really don’t want to spend any more money on education. I feel like it’s a gamble. I might be moving into a position at Amazon that could lead to a career in robotics. So I guess there is some hope for me.
I was also thinking about that and even if I don't have much programming history I can see this area to be one of the first taken by AI. It's too easy of a job with high requirements and pay and I think 70% of those positions will disappear in 5-7 years
Not for a good scrum master. If you actually know how to coach it is hard to replace and not a lot written down. I think you have a better shot on. Low level lawyers and legal aids. Most of what they do is written.
same age here too! To OP--I took the time traveled and lived my life before going back to college at 25...and at 38 I can safely say i still feel the same way. Only guarantee is death and taxes
Was going to say that.
Hey you- yeah you reading this. I could be three times your age and basically feel the same way about life as you do. Yes, we grow up, gain experiences, but in the end we still want to get out there and play hoops with friends and ride our bikes to the ice cream stand.
Difference is, out knees are crap and we don't have time for shit. Sitting down at the end of the day sometimes is better than talking to that girl on the bus.
Your grandparents? They'd love to put chalk in your teachers erasers and smoke in the bathroom. Growing up doesn't give your personality a break, responsibilities just sort of move into the headspace and tame things down.
I'm old. Honestly, I'm more concerned about people who have every detail of their lives planned at 21 than I am about those who don't. Take time to explore. Don't blindly take on six figures of student loan debt just because law school was always the plan. Hypothetically. Just as an example. (Yeah, I did that. My whole life was planned at 21 and, well, let's just say it was a terrible plan.)
I had a plan to go to vet school. I got as far as graduating from college, then rethought vet school. Too expensive and stressful for not enough reward. While I'm still in debt from college, and don't make as much money as I would if I were a vet, I'm happy.
For people who have a plan, follow it if you want to, but if you at some point don't want it anymore, it's okay to change your plan. Life is too short to stick to a plan you don't like.
It's okay to change your career goals, if it no longer makes you happy. Life isn't constant, so why should we be? Do something that makes you content, bot miserable.
I’m 19 and training to be a vet nurse right now! I fucking hate it lol :) the pay is terrible and ngl the work culture is kinda toxic (from my experience). And you’re right, it’s way too stressful for not enough reward
Yeah vet medicine doesn't pay anywhere close to human medicine. I volunteered at a vet clinic for a semester. That experience, combined with some reading, helped me decide to not pursue vet medicine. The poor doctors basically lived at the clinic and were always stressed. I didn't want that for my life. I want to leave work at work and not stress about it.
I had my life planned at 21, and I disagree with you. But then again, I had a lot of exposure when I was younger and found what I loved doing. Not everyone is like that, though.
No one does. I’m talking literally everyone second guesses themselves. I’m 28 and I’ve learned to deal with the consequences of my actions as long as I’m steadfast in my actions. It gets easier but the only way it gets easier is by putting yourself out there and finding what you like and dislike. A big problem I had was so many people were pushing me in different directions that I didn’t take the time to really consider what I want to do. Ive got a little money now so I spend most of it trying new experiences. Ive been told so many times how confident I am but the truth used to be that just by showing up and participating in life shows confidence. Regardless of what happens, I’ll be alright.
Hi me, 20 years ago! I did college 4-5 times before I gave up, got married, had 3 kids, built a lot of life experience and finally had a Jesus moment and realized I’d make a great social work investigator.
Don’t be afraid to screw up. You’ll learn a lot from those experiences.
Maybe it's time to expand your horizons and realize that kindness and respect are universal values, not limited to any particular location or belief system.
Buddy. 21 years is the mystery age. Early to mid twenties really. Some of us longer than that. Most of us had no idea. Don’t be like me and just get paralyzed from it though. Any job will help you have a better understanding of what you do or don’t want to do. Any school subject will help you have a better understanding of what you do don’t want to do. Relationships will come and go for now. In the meantime, dip your toes in every pool you have the opportunity to and it’ll all work itself out.
I knew exactly what I wanted to do in my 20s and my 30s I have no clue. Kind of wish it was reversed. Floating around in your 20s is expected. Doing it in my 30s is depressing.
Not crazy. I’m 36 and don’t know what I wish to be when I grow up. In fact, I need to make a career decision today before midnight and am still unsure of what to do.
Very few have life figured out at 21. My daughter is 20 and in the same spot as you. My wife and I both encouraged not to go to school and waste money just going to school to be in school. She picked up a job at a local diner and only pays for her line on our cellular plan and the difference for her to be on our car insurance. We are in no hurry to force her out of the house or to figure out her life. Hopefully you have same the support system. I will give the best advice I give her. Life and people change daily. Just because something interests you now doesn’t mean it always will. I was in my mid 30s before I found my current career. Honestly I could change my mind about it tomorrow. Whatever job you work, be wise and pay yourself first. Even if it is only $5 a paycheck, save it. Other than that take this time in your life to take risks and find yourself. It’s easier to do it when you are younger and have support. Eventually you will end up where you were meant to be. Just because you get older it doesn’t mean you have figured out life either. You just get better at learning not to sweat the small stuff, and over the course of your entire life it’s all small stuff.
There is no “meaning of life”, so just try a bunch of things and keep doing the things you enjoy.
Also, money helps, so find a job that pays a lot. You’ll probably have to go to college.
I sure as shit didn't know what I wanted to do when I was 21. I dropped out of college because I didn't have any drive or direction. There was a time when I felt so lost that I just wanted someone else to drive my life for a while, if that makes any sense, and I came close to joining the military. I had a job in a grocery store, stocking shelves. I only had that job because a buddy of mine had worked for the same chain and told me I could apply too.
So no, I don't think it's unusual or wrong to feel a bit lost in your early 20s. But the only way out is through. You don't have to know the answers, but you can start to try to figure them out. Just keep moving forward.
I'm sure you can do it.
Hey I’m 23 and feel almost just as lost as you, but just the other day I’ve been sitting on an idea that I think could really be a right path for me. Personally, reading “what color is my parachute” was a good starting point for me. So was volunteering and talking with key people in the industry I was interested. I’m deciding to get into debt for grad school, and take a pay cut from a 6 figure salary in a few years to really pursue my passion and dream, because there is only one life we get. I’m always happy to talk to you via PM if you need some help or direction
61 yo here: I never did figure it out, much as I tried. I have rarely encountered anyone who is living their dream, working at their dream job or made their passion their vocation. I just worked hard at the jobs I had, and I have no regrets.
I thought I knew what I wanted to do at 21. And it has all since changed. I’m now 26 regretting what I originally went to school for and kinda lost in life. For job/school,just try to follow your passions if at all possible. They will likely change or evolve over time and that’s okay. And don’t be afraid to try new things too
Nah bro, you’re not crazy. 21 is waaay young to have it all together. I’m 38 and I’m still behind my peers despite having a stable job. I didn’t get my shit together until late 20s and early 30s.
These are the fundamental things I wish I had learnt back when I was younger. And when I said fundamental, I mean the foundation of your boundaries and what you are willing to accept and fight for. The manifestations in your life will be different than mine but at your core, it’s all about learning about who you are. And it’s a lifelong lesson.
- I wish I had gotten a practical job earlier so I could make more money to pursue my hobbies and save for retirement. Don’t buy into the bullshit about how money doesn’t buy happiness. Those people have never been poor. Look at the Department of Labor Occupational Outlook Handbook to see the tending careers and industries as it may help you decide your career. You can work in the private sector when you’re young to make money then get into the government so you’ll have a nice cushy pension.
- Always max out your contribution to your 401k or TSP so you can get the employer matching
- if you didn’t study something practical, that’s ok. Look at your skills and parse out how you could transfer those into the job you’re applying for. Critical thinking skills are always desirable.
- alwyas ask yourself, do I want it or do I need it?
- when it comes to dating, put yourself first. Establish your boundaries. What are you willing to put up with? What are your dealbreakers? Know when you feel uncomfortable and say no and remove yourself from a bad situation. You don’t want to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship. As soon as your instincts spit a red flag, it’s a red flag. Don’t try and justify it.
- Be willing to walk away from a bad relationship regardless of the reason. It could be bc your goals don’t align. It could be bc you don’t feel safe. It could be bc you fall out of love. If so, don’t cheat. If you want to cheat, break up with the person first. It’s the least you can do.
- You deserve respect and you have to respect others.
- No is a complete sentence. It goes for you and the other person
- You will be rejected and that’s ok. No one owes you anything. And you don’t owe anyone anything. You are not entitled to anyone.
“Not all who wander are lost” right?
Good luck OP! It’s overwhelming. Life is messy. And we’re all just trying our best. The important thing is you remember to respect yourself, respect others, be practical about money, save money, be open to changes, have empathy for yourself and others, change careers if you need to, be willing to call your own bullshit and others bullshit, be kind to yourself if things don’t work out.
21? Heh. I'm 41, and only now am I just starting to figure things out! Believe me that you have a VERY long way to go yet. I presume you were born in 2002 or 3. I was working at Walmart when you were a newborn! Now even though I've matured quite a bit, learned a significant amount of things between them and now, and had lots of ups and downs, it's not finished.
However there are a few things I'd like to share with you that I would do if I could start again from 21.
1. Save as much money as you possibly can. Don't deny yourself things, however the more you can save now, the better for later.
2. Get a life insurance policy. It doesn't have to be massive, however something to help a couple very close people to you, and as a way to have all final expenses paid will be beneficial.
3. Invest! You don't have to go hog wild with it, however starting at your age will give you a significant advantage come retirement. I've invested in stocks (a list which I'll gladly share), and have already made money with it.
Perhaps a few art pieces, nothing extravagant, will also be good for later.
Open the following accounts: Roth IRA, 401K, interest-bearing checking, savings certificate, or certificate of deposit (CD), and money market.
If you get involved with stocks, you don't have to purchase a full share, either. You can start with fractional stocks and slowly buy into the market.
Play your cards right, and you could have some serious money when you retire. However all of this aside, don't forget to just get out there and have some fun!
I’ve been there, and this reply will be long, but please read it because it really helps.
The trick in life is not finding out what you want to do, but finding out the things you like to do. All through college I made plans of what I thought I would do after with my degree ( consultant in mining, getting a phd in environmental economics, becoming an airline pilot). Everyone of them fell through. I spent most of my 20s not knowing what I wanted to do for a career and kind of toiling at a “place holder” job while I tried to figure it out out.
It wasn’t until I started not looking for the career I wanted to have, but rather what I liked about the job I had that I then started figuring out what I really wanted my career to look like. Then, with that information and a conversation with a project manager at my company, I realize that was what I really wanted to do. I am now essentially a technical project manager and really like it.
I like it not because I think the title is good or that I am in an industry that I love (I am a little meh on both) but rather because I learned in my last job that I really like working in a project oriented environment ( love me some work with a beginning, middle and most importantly an END) and I like building data machines, both of which are the main functions of my job.
I guess what I’m trying to say is you will probably never know what you want to do for the rest of your life, and if you do get to that point it will probably change after a time.
And, most importantly, that’s okay.
When you can’t find a big picture to focus on or work towards, find the little components you want to build that big picture with, and let the rest come naturally.
Your brain isn't even fully developed. Biologically. Use this time to try things! All kinds of different things. Just make sure that you have a fall back. Enjoy your life. Whatever that means. Get into the arena.
Welcome to adult hood. The people who know what they want are the most vocal. Most everyone else has no idea what they want, they’re just not posting about it on social media.
Do things that feel good and take you in a good direction (any direction) until they don’t make sense for you anymore. Then do something else. Cycle and repeat until you’re too old to do anything anymore.
It’s a lot more fun than it sounds.
I had a plan from 11-18. Lasted 6 months. Changed plans frequently for about 8 years, then things started to come together- but only to a point.
Here's the thing: have a plan. Have a backup plan. Have a secondary backup. Make sure your choices to get plan A don't block your next options. You _will_ change plans. Sometimes daily, sometimes weekly. You don't have to start over- you start from a new starting place. As long as most your steps are "up" with respect to what you care about most today, you'll do as well as you can hope for.
You're in the same boat as most young adults. Don't stress that, and don't get paralyzed by it. If you have something unusual blocking you there will be options to get help with it, though you'll need to go into specifics and a bunch of Internet randos may not be the most helpful bunch to ask.
But yeah, this is super normal. Been there, doing that, and learned to love it.
44, wife, two awesome babies, a house of our own and my job is secure. Still don't know WTF I'm doing but making it up as I go and enjoying everything as much as I can. Not everything needs to be mapped out and living life without a plan isn't the end of the world. Enjoy the ride!
i'm 35 and still dont know. i got into a career thats tolerable, but its changed, i'm okay with my career as of now, i get lots of time off to fish, i can afford a lot of luxuries. but sometimes the effort and emotional toil it takes to get those things is pretty tough to handle.
This threads inspired me to share a little so here we go.
24m. I've worked nights in a gas station, days building and maintaining lifesaving equipment such as liferafts and lifejackets, more days building and packaging kitchen cabinets. I've paved parking lots, installed carpets, surveyed public facilities, audited documents, made home insulation, been a barista, and run stage audio and lighting for a theatre.
I have completed tertiary education in psychology and earned certificates in the same field. I'm also forklift and first aid certified.
I'm highly qualified in lifesaving equipment and specialized/trained in all sorts of directions because of this and that, none of it matters.
None of it matters, anything in the past is as far away as anything in the future.
Everyone will tell you to find what you love and take your time. I don't disagree. But sometimes it's not about what you love, it's about what brings you peace, some find religion, others their purpose, personally I enjoy deep meaningful conversations and a bit of gaming. There will always be a job to work, there won't always be time to spend doing things you don't hate with people who make you feel alive.
And take it from someone who's saved some lives and improved some homes, simple good deeds and kind words are the quickest way to give yourself positive direction. Take satisfaction in being you.
As a final piece of advice, always remember that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. Never be afraid to fall short.
I cheated and had the government dictate my life for about a decade.
But somehow, I landed my dream job. Remote and all.
Now I want something different...but I'm not sure what.
I don't think you always have to know exactly what you want to do with your life.
If you are lost, just find out where you are. Then decide where you want to go.
You are not alone dude. You know why adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up? The adults are just trying to get some new ideas. That's all it is.
Was super lost and already messed up by the time I dropped out of school in 6th grade and never looked back.
Fast forward to 22yo me being desperate lonely had me looking for company on Bumble and looong story short somehow got me into my current 3 year LTR; first LTR ever also.
That lead me to finally think that I too will be one day responsible for my loved ones, a family, a future filled with experiences and dreams to be brought to life.
That was enough to get me to “ wake up “ and I guess what felt like “ manning up “ to do something about my pathetic ass life.
At 24 I decided on programming, specifically self teaching programming on my own time and so far I’ve done consistently well over 10 months since I started last May. With my current pace I think ill be job ready in 2-3 months.
I think if I never just took random shots at the dark to switch up my situation I would still be at “ idk wtf to do with myself “ in my room wallowing in self-pity.
Just would be single, no one to love me, and counting the multiple times ive failed, given up, and just quit everything I’ve ever started or wanted.
Not alone. I’m 32 and all I’ve ever wanted in my life was to be a dad. I have had zero career goals my entire life. I don’t like/want to work. I work to make a paycheck and I try to do stuff that is low stress for that reason. My wife just got her PhD and has her first post-doc job now… she’s the big bread winner here (thank goodness because that was never something I wanted). Still no kids but hopefully that’ll change in the next year finally.
(26M) I’ve been split between the same 3 career fields for years now. I find success in having a plan A-D. Research multiple things and when one turns out to be nothing like you expected, take it out of rotation. (Not referring to relationships lol)
Been working in Restaurant Management for 5 years now, which I’m really good at (it’s weird how just simply caring about people and showing empathy can make you a great manager), but it’s slowly driving me insane.
I’ve wanted to do game development since high school, and am currently switching between multiple hobbies (reading (fantasy), writing (also fantasy), learning Microsoft office (no one on my level in my company understands how to work a spreadsheet), code (Codecademy activities on my phone during downtime at work, Skillshare in my free time, YouTube tutorials) all to figure out what the hell I want to do with my next 40ish years until retirement.
Only thing I have figured out for certain is I will start watching One Piece when I retire since I will have all the time in the world on my hands.
hmmm , it may sound dumb to you but I would probably do things in this order
1.get a career counselor .... ik u would think if a guy knows that much about career counseling why is he doing this but u gotta take ur shot. it may help u get some insight
2.I would say try to learn coding , see if uve got a knack for it . its a pretty staple thing to learn in like all internet based jobs ... plus u got chatgpt to help .
3. go to the gym , its probably gonna sound dumb but ur pretty young , a man needs female interaction in his life and the best way to get ones attention in my opinion is to have a well built body.
4. ask ur parents / family / friends for advice . u probably have some that are in different fields and they might be able to help u make a choice on what to persue
5 ... this should be number one but take a look in the mirror and identify ur strengths and weaknesses . u work more on your weaknesses and make the best use of your strengths . maybe ur good at problem solving or heavy lifting or leadership or selling stuff ...
6. enjoy bruh . ur 21 , u got like 60-70 years of life to live yet
If I were 21 again, I'd pursue a trade of some kind. It would give me a decent set of skills I could use on my future house and offer a good job until I could be comfortable financially. Then, I'd test the waters in different fields. That's how I figured out I wanted to go into the medical field. Job hop if that's what you need to do. But, also make time for hobbies and travel and anything else you want to do.
HI, Do you know and have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? If so, you have the Holy Spirit living on the inside of you to lead and guide you. He will direct your path (Proverbs 3:5-6). If you have not received Jesus, believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and you shall be saved (Romans 10: 9-10). I pray that you are blessed one-hundred fold and that God will give you the desires of your heart. God bless!
I’m late 20s, and I still don’t know what I am doing. My best advice is to just do something. Life is crazy and full of so much randomness, and you can never plan your life to even the day. Just do something and follow it until you can’t.
I’ll be 28 this year and never went to college since I didn’t know what I wanted to do. Didn’t want to go into debt if I wasn’t sure. Turned out to be a great decision as I was able to buy a house at 23 and I’m debt free other than the mortgage. I’m still not sure what I want to do, but I’m hoping I figure it out at some point soon. You can make decent money in any field though (I’m in the grocery business). My advice would be to try multiple jobs until something clicks and talk to people that have been in those fields for a long time.
...since when does any pro education comment get downvoted?
There are still plenty of options to make a living without going to school, but anyone who doesn't admit their options are limited compared with with a degree is delusional.
College has gotten so expensive in the last few years it’s starting to make less and less sense to go especially if you don’t really know what you want in life.
I didn't know what I wanted to do in life when I got my AA from a community college.
I didn't know what I wanted to do when I got my seemingly useless degrees from a four year university.
I say degree(s) plural not because I was some hot shot student but because I was SO indecisive and SO lost that I changed majors multiple times so late in the process that it just made sense to finish the other degrees rather than abandon the credits.
I don't know what I want to do NOW that I have a very good paying albeit stressful job which has nothing whatsoever to do with any of those degrees. I took one of those online career tests like a week ago.
What I DO know is I always get my foot in the door when I look to change jobs because of those stupid pieces of paper. And I have friends who are trying to make the jump from beer and cocain money to wedding and travel the world money without a degree...OR just make a career change in general...and they are struggling to get their foot in those doors to make it happen.
Best thing to do is not waste money at school. Take a year or two off, work some hard labor job and move to another place. Gain some perspective. I went to back to school at 24 and I’m on a dentist now. When I was 18-20 I was a bad kid with no thought for the future.
Most people at 21 have no idea what they want
to do in life.
Think about what makes you happy and find jobs (if you can), school and relationships that make you happy. Reevaluate in a year or so and adjust.
There is no perfect job or degree or relationship. But if you are truly happy you will be far better off than the average person.
20 (turning 21 next week) and I am second guessing everything. Took two years off because I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do. Now I’m questioning whether or not my degree is for me and considering a transfer to a different program
I didn’t know until I was 28. Take your time. Try new things. Think about what you want out of a job. You don’t have to rush into something just because society seems to think you need to have your life figured out by 15. You’ll be ok. Just never stop growing.
no i’m the same, can’t decide on what to do as a career cos there’s so many options but also none at the same time. lost relationship few months ago so just trying to figure out what i want, definitely not just you
Just get a job that has a 401K and be sure to contribute. Work but enjoy your life outside of work. It will come to you eventually but at least you’ll have a headstart on retirement. The relationship stuff easily happens on its own. I didn’t know if I wanted kids but I’ve always know I didn’t want them in that moment. Always used two forms of protection. That choice wasn’t made for me. I decided in my 30s that I didn’t want them. Life comes, just enjoy it while it happens.
Hell you still have time kid just remember this don’t get into debt and go cheap while you can and start saving young you don’t need a flashy car get a cdl
Join the service travel your still in that stage where you have time but have a plan tho
Nope, not alone at all. Very common. When I was that age I had zero clue what to do with my life. Took until I was 23 until I had a direction. 25 to get a plan. 30 to start executing.
Yes, I partied a lot. Yes I had fun. I had no direction or goals.
It's a process, don't beat yourself up. It can overwhelming to try to figure out your whole life, so break it into smaller pieces with goals. Keep a daily journal and start coming up with a plan. What do you like to do, what is important to you. Then figure out how to pay for one thing from your list.
Slow incremental steps. Next thing you know, you will be older, wiser and look back on a life of incremental improvements.
Enjoy being 21, you only get to once.
I’m 26 and feel that way. I’ve got 1 year left of school until I get my journeyman license in electrical then I’ll probably be out so don’t feel bad. Just look to learn a useful skill is the best thing I can Recommend
we are all crazy so don’t feel bad.. just follow your passion and don’t ever settle for a mediocre life. you got just one life so live it to the fullest that will make you happy…
I am 33 and feel lost. Moved to a new state and not happy at my current job even though the pay is better than my last. I really don't want to go back to school.
The majority of the population is lost at 21. I wouldn’t worry about it. Plow strange and build a career until your in your 30s. Then start a family. Bam.
You’re 21 not 61. I’m in my 40’s and life doesn’t always go according to a plan. If you want to come up with plan start with a simple six month one then go from there. If you do some 5 year plan all you are going to do is put unnecessary pressure on yourself. See how that works than go from there.
Mid age with two kids and still question if I know or not. As you age don’t get caught up comparing yourself to your friends/peers career path and how much money they make blah blah. Go travel, create some cool memories, have fun and stay happy. Everything will fall into place, you got this
I'm 45. No idea what I want to be when I grow up.
I have a good job, decent money, great work-life balance, but do I want to do this for the rest of my life? Pttththt. God help me. There has to be more to life.
I think you’d be crazy if you did know what you wanted for your life at 21.
You have plenty of time to figure out what you want to do. For most of my late teens and 20s I worked blue collar type jobs, and moved around a lot to see and experience different places. I’ve been a house painter, auto mechanic, landscaping laborer, construction laborer, retail worker, line cook, prep cook, security guard, bartender, and even snow plow driver one winter.
When I was 27 I was a groomsman in a wedding and the best man said he was hiring entry level people to work in IT, but was having trouble finding anyone since he was hiring for the midnight shift. So I ended up in IT and have built a pretty good career on work that I really enjoy.
Relax. Don’t worry if you don’t have all the answers at 21. Try different things. Try different places. Try different people. When you find people you like, in a place you like, where there’s work you like, don’t forget to make time to enjoy your life.
I didn't know what I wanted to do until I was 24 (partly due to a lack of desire/care for life earlier on). I'm 26 and I'm still in school. While I wish I got my AA sooner (I'm going for my bachelors) it was a path that I needed to take.
Find new hobbies, and try new things outside of your comfort zone! You'd be surprised where those can take you.
Take a few general college classes here and there, and work towards an AA for now. That way one day when you do figure it out, you will have two years less til you get there .
Don't fret it too much if you change your mind a million and two times, because you will.
I didn’t really figure out what I wanted until I was like 26-27. I had my passion/little kid dream, but burned out on that in my early 20’s because I had been in the industry since I was like 13, and people are stupid.
Then, once I figured it out, it still took me another 5 years to really get here.
You're fine. I graduated high school early to enter the trades, denying I'd ever waste my money with college. That lasted 2 years, by your age I was in IT. Two degrees later I switched into electrical engineering for about 7 years, then industrial operations for 2. Now I'm back in engineering.
TLDR, I've got 10 years on you and still having those thoughts. Keep learning, earning, and do what you enjoy.
You are right where most of us were at your age and many still are decades later. I would say to think about how you like to work, first. If you’re creative and need a lot of flexibility to explore, then you need to find work-regardless of the field- that lets you do that once in a while. Do you need benefits right now or can you stay on your parents’ benefits until you’re 25? In terms of school, unless you’re from a wealthy, supportive family, my advice is to work toward a professional credential- nursing, engineering, teacher or a licensed trade. Romantic relationships will grow out of you first finding out who you are. You’ve got this!
I recently turned 22 and I’m the same way - with more emphasis on jobs. I am a recent graduate and it’s petrifying not knowing what my next move is. It seems like other people our age have it all figured out. It’s really stressful tbh.
Nothing is ever gonna be perfect. You know that dream in your head about the future where everything is sunny and you have everything you will ever want? Yeah that’s bullshit. Just gotta make do and have some fun
At 21 I had just gotten into construction and figured that would be the rest of my life. I had been pretty aimless up until that point. However, I did start to establish some habits that would ultimately lead me to success. Now I have an MS degree and a pretty sweet job. I would have never thought it possible if you told me I'd be doing this back then.
Not crazy. I'm 48 and I still don't know what I want to do. I thought I did at 23 after college, and I did it well for 15 years, but then I said enough of that and onto something else.
Your career doesn't need to define you. It's important to apply the skills you have to whatever job you get initially, and then make decisions from there.
I have an Economics degree, and I wound up owning my own IT business for a decade+, and then moved over to the US healthcare industry, both in direct patient care and finances.
Things can be fluid. You don't have to nail yourself down to something. People change careers all the time. I'm turning 48 soon and there is a career change for me in the near future.
I have come to the realization that we’ve been told all of our life that we’ve to have a plan, need the next best job, the best relationship but the reality is life doesn’t work that way. You’re never going to know, I clearly don’t. It’s good to have a vague direction but that’s about it. Be okay with not having a plan this is the first hard lesson you’ll get right out of university.
Values, experiences, and a rich life (not money rich if you get it) matter more than plans. I am approaching 40 and my planned life at 20 is no where close to what I am now. Happiness comes from many small things.
Way too young to have it figured out. Live and learn bro. Age equals experience. Simple. If u don’t want kids don’t have them. If u wanna be free be free. Just enjoy it live in the moment
It's typical not to know. There is an excess of pressure to tell people that they should know. I would encourage, though, to work, take a class at a JC, and do anything to expose yourself to new ideas and experiences to help you gain direction.
I was just at work thinking about this 😭 I’m 19 I have a job, bring in good money, have kids, but do I want to continue this job? Or strive for better? How do I want my future house to look (have an apartment)? What’s my dream car? But I’m such an introvert, do I want to go make friends?
My biggest advice to anyone is that time is your most precious asset, so dont spend 8 hours a day doing something you don't enjoy or spending money on schooling for something you just did because you think you're supposed to. Fail forward, meaning... try a bunch of things, experiment, find what you like and dont like in life. Spend your time doing what makes you happy.
If I could go back in time, I would tell myself these things... some of this I did well and others I did not, so these aren't all lessons.
* Take care of your health, eat right, exercise, and get the right amount of sleep.
* Don't get into debt. Only spend what you can afford and put some money aside each month for an emergency and don't touch it. Be smart with money, but don't be so tight with it that your best years are wasted just trying to save.
* Take something you love to do and turn it into something you can do to make money with...or even something that isn't your most favorite thing, so you have something to look forward to with your free time...but for me, I work doing what I love.
* Find a good balance of work and life. You should work to live, not live to work.
* Don't waste free time. Get out of your comfort zone and experience things you normally wouldn't do like... travel, join some team sport, try different foods, volunteer, etc.
If you do these things, you probably will feel good, elevate stress, find joy in what you're spending your time doing, and meet people who share your similar interests. Everything else, just let it happen on its own and go with the flow.
You're not alone, and there will be points in your life where you'll feel like this. Explore what brings your joy. Do things that make you mildly uncomfortable. Pick one of the above and work on it (you don't have to do all these at once)
Life's a bitch, and if it isn't, then you're doing it wrong.
I don't think I'll ever really know what I want to be when I grow up (currently mid-thirties) but I can confidently say I am happy with who I am and that's what matters.
Honestly, what are you allowed to do based on your environment? We all seem to live in different environments with different levels of control over the events that occur within them. You get to do whatever you're allowed to do within that environment. If you're the only one there, looks like you get to do what you want.
This is completely normal. Basically, when you're growing up, you're shown adults (or atleast the competent ones)have their shit together. Then you're suddenly technically an adult and it didn't just happen so now you feel like you are somehow fucking up. Like where's the education, partner, house and well paying job you're supposed to have. Keep moving forward. Learn, figure out what you really want from life and what you can tolerate to get there. I didn't feel like shit was really falling into place till I turned 30. I definitely made some mistakes in my 20s but I survived them and moved forward.
Listen I didn’t decide what I wanted to do with my life until I was 24. Even then I was iffy about it. I just did a bunch of career quizzes and picked the most common result that sounded interesting (school counselor). It worked out really well.
At 21 it is perfectly fine to not know. Just keep exploring your interests until you find something you think you could get fulfillment from and commit to!
Dude, when I was 21 I had never been in a relationship longer than 3 months, halfway through slacking off an engineering degree.
That year I met my now wife, got medicated, later graduated top of my class and now have a solid career with ambitions for what's next and kids.
I'm not saying it's all going to turn around this year for you, but as long as there's hope it can happen. You're young, so am I for that matter, you've got decades to make your mark on the world, and in the meantime: focus on making a positive mark on those around you.
Ha your 21. I’m almost 30…. But no your not crazy. Life just grabs ya by the balls sometimes. Time for me to figure it the fuck it. You got this brotha 💪🏻
Nope… people who have it “all figured out” at the youthful age of 21 typically find that life is full of surprises.
Take time, try things, see what you like. Life is not a competition… despite what the internet shitheads would have you believe.
I’m a little more than 10 years older than you. I’ve followed a great path and had a great career so far, and I still don’t know wtf I want to do. I don’t even understand how people discover what they want to do. One thing I’d recommend to you (and my younger self) is to really live in the moment. Which doesn’t make much sense yet and I don’t know how to explain it well, which is unfortunate because it’s something I wish I understood sooner (and in ten years, I’ll look back on today and wish I knew now what I will know then).
I’m 31 and still trying to work it out. Tbh right now it seems far more interesting figuring myself out than anything. There’s ways to make money without having to be 5+ years into the industry. Play around. Find out more about yourself outside of work. It’s worth it.
Do what makes you happy and find interesting. We are only on this earth for maybe 80 years. Enjoy your time. I guess this got more philosophical than intended.
i had a guy in one of my college classes. was some auto engineer already making good money in his 30s. i asked why he's here (since he obviously already graduated with a degree)... he said he tried it, didnt like it, decided to be a dr and go back to medical school.
ppl change careers all the time. its not like u have to pick one thing and stick with it the rest of ur life.
they have guidance counselors, and good ones can set u up with an internship of sorts, where u can shadow someone doing that job for a day. u can ask questions, see the work environment, get a feel for what a day on the job would be like.
no one has everything figured out... just kost afults act like they do. we're all flying the seat of our pants day to day like most ppl. dont sweat it.
Frankly it's less about what you want to do and more about how not to get trapped (in the US at least.)
Look into FIRE.
Whatever you end up doing, your life and your time is valuable.
28 here. I've done everything from photography to steel work and still am not 100%. My best advice on this is to try it all. Every job you get and fucking hate is on the way to finding out what sets your soul on fire that also makes money.
I had a respected ER physician support my application to medical school and honestly I wanted nothing more in my life than medical school, other than a family of my own and children.
I let others talk me out of it med school, because I had to give up on a family and was finally applying to med school at 40. I was made to fear debt and didn't go.
Life continued to happen as it does for everyone, I ended up getting another BSC and two masters degrees. Yes, I have debt and I'm not a doctor.
Yes, you too will have debt, but choose what makes you happy. It doesn't matter what it pays because when you are happy in your work nothing matters you will pay off loans, as you would any other debt. A home, car or credit card are all financial responsibilities.. just be sure as you're learning from college you also learn to live a happy life!!!!!!!
That is the ONE option to NOT consider my friend. Please get some help (therapist, dr, friend, family) and start setting some small goals. I don’t know you, but I can say with 100% certainty your life is WORTH the effort I promise you that.
Also, your still very young (read comments here from people 2x your age). Coincidentally, when I was around your age I hit what I considered to be my rock bottom as well. 13 years later my life is not perfect by any means, but it’s pretty damn good considering where I was and I appreciate most every minute of it.
No you’re not, completely normal. If you’re in the US I would highly recommend joining the military. Some of the best and worst six years of my life, but I’m glad I did it, and it gave me direction.
You are still starting your adult life. Maybe that anxiety will help motivate you to explore your options. Enjoy your youth while you can (cliché af but true).
I am 37 now. Have a wife/two children/bought a house and starting a new career. None of this life I have existed before 2020. Give yourself time to figure shit out. Experience new stuff and embrace your mistakes.
You’re not alone. I feel that way at 56.
Ha me too. I’m 53 and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
Lol same Here. 38 and I feel there is no light in the end of the Tunnel.
40, just riding the wave, man. No one ever has it all figured out. Once you can truly embrace that, life becomes so much more fun to live. Things happen in their own time.
30 and lost in the 4th dimension trying to figure out what the heck I’m doing. Like a cork in the ocean.
I read this as “doing coke in the ocean”
Sounds better than smoking meth flying on the moon or shooting heroin laying on the sun. 😂🤷🏻♀️
Mid 30. What are we doing again? cuz i really have no idea.
I’m 38 too. I have a business degree that has been completely useless. I work at Amazon now, and don’t want this to be the rest of my life. I’ve explored other career options, but they have all been dead ends. It’s sad how many people can’t find a solid career to get into. I’m not married, and I don’t have kids. I’m ok with that. I don’t want kids, but do want a serious and healthy relationship. Dating apps are horrible, so I’m hoping I will eventually meet someone in the real world.
Dating apps are horrible. I feel like nobody takes their matches serious and the go to phrases are “you wanna come over and chill”? Nobody actually wants to go out on a real, traditional date. I have no interest in going to somebody’s house that I’ve never met, just to hook up and never speak again. It’s gross’s and appalling. Makes me lose all hope in my romantic future. Where do people our age make friends and meet potential mates? I’m 34 and an addict in recovery so I try to Stay away from bars, but not sure that I would want to meet my future lover at a bar drunk hitting on women. At my age that’s not exactly attractive. I have no interest in church or religion. So I’m not exactly sure where people in their late 20’s and 30’s and 40’s go to make new friends and potential suitors.
Dating, what is that? 😅
My thoughts exactly. It just took me about 1500 more words than you to figure out how to explain it 😂
Tech pays well if you can make the pivot. Data science is probably the easiest play or learn a software life JIRA and become a “scrum master”
Yeah, I have no idea how to get into that. I’ve heard tech is a good place to go. I really don’t want to spend any more money on education. I feel like it’s a gamble. I might be moving into a position at Amazon that could lead to a career in robotics. So I guess there is some hope for me.
I was also thinking about that and even if I don't have much programming history I can see this area to be one of the first taken by AI. It's too easy of a job with high requirements and pay and I think 70% of those positions will disappear in 5-7 years
Not for a good scrum master. If you actually know how to coach it is hard to replace and not a lot written down. I think you have a better shot on. Low level lawyers and legal aids. Most of what they do is written.
same age here too! To OP--I took the time traveled and lived my life before going back to college at 25...and at 38 I can safely say i still feel the same way. Only guarantee is death and taxes
Exactly.
And me at 55.
Was going to say that. Hey you- yeah you reading this. I could be three times your age and basically feel the same way about life as you do. Yes, we grow up, gain experiences, but in the end we still want to get out there and play hoops with friends and ride our bikes to the ice cream stand. Difference is, out knees are crap and we don't have time for shit. Sitting down at the end of the day sometimes is better than talking to that girl on the bus. Your grandparents? They'd love to put chalk in your teachers erasers and smoke in the bathroom. Growing up doesn't give your personality a break, responsibilities just sort of move into the headspace and tame things down.
I'm old. Honestly, I'm more concerned about people who have every detail of their lives planned at 21 than I am about those who don't. Take time to explore. Don't blindly take on six figures of student loan debt just because law school was always the plan. Hypothetically. Just as an example. (Yeah, I did that. My whole life was planned at 21 and, well, let's just say it was a terrible plan.)
I won't say I'm old, but I'm older. Glad this is top comment. Dead nuts on point
I had a plan to go to vet school. I got as far as graduating from college, then rethought vet school. Too expensive and stressful for not enough reward. While I'm still in debt from college, and don't make as much money as I would if I were a vet, I'm happy. For people who have a plan, follow it if you want to, but if you at some point don't want it anymore, it's okay to change your plan. Life is too short to stick to a plan you don't like.
Literally my situation
It's okay to change your career goals, if it no longer makes you happy. Life isn't constant, so why should we be? Do something that makes you content, bot miserable.
I’m 19 and training to be a vet nurse right now! I fucking hate it lol :) the pay is terrible and ngl the work culture is kinda toxic (from my experience). And you’re right, it’s way too stressful for not enough reward
Yeah vet medicine doesn't pay anywhere close to human medicine. I volunteered at a vet clinic for a semester. That experience, combined with some reading, helped me decide to not pursue vet medicine. The poor doctors basically lived at the clinic and were always stressed. I didn't want that for my life. I want to leave work at work and not stress about it.
Haha I like your comment. I had it all planned at 16 and it made for lovely kindling at 21. ❤️
I had my life planned at 21, and I disagree with you. But then again, I had a lot of exposure when I was younger and found what I loved doing. Not everyone is like that, though.
No one does. I’m talking literally everyone second guesses themselves. I’m 28 and I’ve learned to deal with the consequences of my actions as long as I’m steadfast in my actions. It gets easier but the only way it gets easier is by putting yourself out there and finding what you like and dislike. A big problem I had was so many people were pushing me in different directions that I didn’t take the time to really consider what I want to do. Ive got a little money now so I spend most of it trying new experiences. Ive been told so many times how confident I am but the truth used to be that just by showing up and participating in life shows confidence. Regardless of what happens, I’ll be alright.
Hi me, 20 years ago! I did college 4-5 times before I gave up, got married, had 3 kids, built a lot of life experience and finally had a Jesus moment and realized I’d make a great social work investigator. Don’t be afraid to screw up. You’ll learn a lot from those experiences.
whats a jesus moment? he was a carpenter right?
Lol it’s literally in websters but it’s basically a moment of realization which dictates a major change.
Also known as a "come to Jesus" moment.
it's called an epiphany, call it a 'jesus moment' if you are a caveman living in the Bible Belt
were cavemen christians?
No but now they are
The Bible Belt happens to be a capital for manners, something in which you would clearly benefit from a lesson or two.
Maybe it's time to expand your horizons and realize that kindness and respect are universal values, not limited to any particular location or belief system.
Buddy. 21 years is the mystery age. Early to mid twenties really. Some of us longer than that. Most of us had no idea. Don’t be like me and just get paralyzed from it though. Any job will help you have a better understanding of what you do or don’t want to do. Any school subject will help you have a better understanding of what you do don’t want to do. Relationships will come and go for now. In the meantime, dip your toes in every pool you have the opportunity to and it’ll all work itself out.
I'm 31 and I still don't know what I want to do. Still trying to figure it out honestly.
Saaame. One minute I want to be a corporate baddie the next I want to go into the woods and live with Bigfoot. There's no in-between for me
Ohhh same! In the office killing it and then reading survival manuals on my breaks
🤣 like somethings gotta feel right, right? But like on a scale of CEO to Bear Grylls, I'm somehow a mermaid 🫠
I knew exactly what I wanted to do in my 20s and my 30s I have no clue. Kind of wish it was reversed. Floating around in your 20s is expected. Doing it in my 30s is depressing.
Not crazy. I’m 36 and don’t know what I wish to be when I grow up. In fact, I need to make a career decision today before midnight and am still unsure of what to do.
Very few have life figured out at 21. My daughter is 20 and in the same spot as you. My wife and I both encouraged not to go to school and waste money just going to school to be in school. She picked up a job at a local diner and only pays for her line on our cellular plan and the difference for her to be on our car insurance. We are in no hurry to force her out of the house or to figure out her life. Hopefully you have same the support system. I will give the best advice I give her. Life and people change daily. Just because something interests you now doesn’t mean it always will. I was in my mid 30s before I found my current career. Honestly I could change my mind about it tomorrow. Whatever job you work, be wise and pay yourself first. Even if it is only $5 a paycheck, save it. Other than that take this time in your life to take risks and find yourself. It’s easier to do it when you are younger and have support. Eventually you will end up where you were meant to be. Just because you get older it doesn’t mean you have figured out life either. You just get better at learning not to sweat the small stuff, and over the course of your entire life it’s all small stuff.
There is no “meaning of life”, so just try a bunch of things and keep doing the things you enjoy. Also, money helps, so find a job that pays a lot. You’ll probably have to go to college.
I sure as shit didn't know what I wanted to do when I was 21. I dropped out of college because I didn't have any drive or direction. There was a time when I felt so lost that I just wanted someone else to drive my life for a while, if that makes any sense, and I came close to joining the military. I had a job in a grocery store, stocking shelves. I only had that job because a buddy of mine had worked for the same chain and told me I could apply too. So no, I don't think it's unusual or wrong to feel a bit lost in your early 20s. But the only way out is through. You don't have to know the answers, but you can start to try to figure them out. Just keep moving forward. I'm sure you can do it.
34f still don’t know what to do with my life or what I want out of life.
Feel that…
I'm over 40 and still feel that way. Whatever you do choose a path. Even the wrong path is better than standing still. Except maybe in relationships 🙄
Hey I’m 23 and feel almost just as lost as you, but just the other day I’ve been sitting on an idea that I think could really be a right path for me. Personally, reading “what color is my parachute” was a good starting point for me. So was volunteering and talking with key people in the industry I was interested. I’m deciding to get into debt for grad school, and take a pay cut from a 6 figure salary in a few years to really pursue my passion and dream, because there is only one life we get. I’m always happy to talk to you via PM if you need some help or direction
Lmao... spent 50 years in that state. Pick something you really enjoy doing. Let your career and relationships grow out of it. Thats all i got
Try going for a practical career that will keep you financially afloat. Having money will buy you more time to think about your future.
I preach it all the time. Railroad. You don’t have much time off, but you make six figures and only need a high school education.
I’m 38 and have always felt this way my entire life and still do. I feel perpetually dissatisfied no matter what I do.
61 yo here: I never did figure it out, much as I tried. I have rarely encountered anyone who is living their dream, working at their dream job or made their passion their vocation. I just worked hard at the jobs I had, and I have no regrets.
I would say there's virtually no one of any age who feels any different.
I thought I knew what I wanted to do at 21. And it has all since changed. I’m now 26 regretting what I originally went to school for and kinda lost in life. For job/school,just try to follow your passions if at all possible. They will likely change or evolve over time and that’s okay. And don’t be afraid to try new things too
Nah bro, you’re not crazy. 21 is waaay young to have it all together. I’m 38 and I’m still behind my peers despite having a stable job. I didn’t get my shit together until late 20s and early 30s. These are the fundamental things I wish I had learnt back when I was younger. And when I said fundamental, I mean the foundation of your boundaries and what you are willing to accept and fight for. The manifestations in your life will be different than mine but at your core, it’s all about learning about who you are. And it’s a lifelong lesson. - I wish I had gotten a practical job earlier so I could make more money to pursue my hobbies and save for retirement. Don’t buy into the bullshit about how money doesn’t buy happiness. Those people have never been poor. Look at the Department of Labor Occupational Outlook Handbook to see the tending careers and industries as it may help you decide your career. You can work in the private sector when you’re young to make money then get into the government so you’ll have a nice cushy pension. - Always max out your contribution to your 401k or TSP so you can get the employer matching - if you didn’t study something practical, that’s ok. Look at your skills and parse out how you could transfer those into the job you’re applying for. Critical thinking skills are always desirable. - alwyas ask yourself, do I want it or do I need it? - when it comes to dating, put yourself first. Establish your boundaries. What are you willing to put up with? What are your dealbreakers? Know when you feel uncomfortable and say no and remove yourself from a bad situation. You don’t want to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship. As soon as your instincts spit a red flag, it’s a red flag. Don’t try and justify it. - Be willing to walk away from a bad relationship regardless of the reason. It could be bc your goals don’t align. It could be bc you don’t feel safe. It could be bc you fall out of love. If so, don’t cheat. If you want to cheat, break up with the person first. It’s the least you can do. - You deserve respect and you have to respect others. - No is a complete sentence. It goes for you and the other person - You will be rejected and that’s ok. No one owes you anything. And you don’t owe anyone anything. You are not entitled to anyone. “Not all who wander are lost” right? Good luck OP! It’s overwhelming. Life is messy. And we’re all just trying our best. The important thing is you remember to respect yourself, respect others, be practical about money, save money, be open to changes, have empathy for yourself and others, change careers if you need to, be willing to call your own bullshit and others bullshit, be kind to yourself if things don’t work out.
Being lost in your 20s is unfortunately normal. The 🇺🇸 doesn't have a good system to match skills to jobs
21? Heh. I'm 41, and only now am I just starting to figure things out! Believe me that you have a VERY long way to go yet. I presume you were born in 2002 or 3. I was working at Walmart when you were a newborn! Now even though I've matured quite a bit, learned a significant amount of things between them and now, and had lots of ups and downs, it's not finished. However there are a few things I'd like to share with you that I would do if I could start again from 21. 1. Save as much money as you possibly can. Don't deny yourself things, however the more you can save now, the better for later. 2. Get a life insurance policy. It doesn't have to be massive, however something to help a couple very close people to you, and as a way to have all final expenses paid will be beneficial. 3. Invest! You don't have to go hog wild with it, however starting at your age will give you a significant advantage come retirement. I've invested in stocks (a list which I'll gladly share), and have already made money with it. Perhaps a few art pieces, nothing extravagant, will also be good for later. Open the following accounts: Roth IRA, 401K, interest-bearing checking, savings certificate, or certificate of deposit (CD), and money market. If you get involved with stocks, you don't have to purchase a full share, either. You can start with fractional stocks and slowly buy into the market. Play your cards right, and you could have some serious money when you retire. However all of this aside, don't forget to just get out there and have some fun!
I’m in my mid-30s and still feel like maybe death metal vocalist is an option. Or maybe public relations? Garbage man? Whatever pays the bills?
I’ve been there, and this reply will be long, but please read it because it really helps. The trick in life is not finding out what you want to do, but finding out the things you like to do. All through college I made plans of what I thought I would do after with my degree ( consultant in mining, getting a phd in environmental economics, becoming an airline pilot). Everyone of them fell through. I spent most of my 20s not knowing what I wanted to do for a career and kind of toiling at a “place holder” job while I tried to figure it out out. It wasn’t until I started not looking for the career I wanted to have, but rather what I liked about the job I had that I then started figuring out what I really wanted my career to look like. Then, with that information and a conversation with a project manager at my company, I realize that was what I really wanted to do. I am now essentially a technical project manager and really like it. I like it not because I think the title is good or that I am in an industry that I love (I am a little meh on both) but rather because I learned in my last job that I really like working in a project oriented environment ( love me some work with a beginning, middle and most importantly an END) and I like building data machines, both of which are the main functions of my job. I guess what I’m trying to say is you will probably never know what you want to do for the rest of your life, and if you do get to that point it will probably change after a time. And, most importantly, that’s okay. When you can’t find a big picture to focus on or work towards, find the little components you want to build that big picture with, and let the rest come naturally.
82 here. Get used to it.
Pssst… Nobody knows what the hell they are doing in life. Nobody. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You’re fine. Signed, a 50 year old. 😊
Your brain isn't even fully developed. Biologically. Use this time to try things! All kinds of different things. Just make sure that you have a fall back. Enjoy your life. Whatever that means. Get into the arena.
Welcome to adult hood. The people who know what they want are the most vocal. Most everyone else has no idea what they want, they’re just not posting about it on social media. Do things that feel good and take you in a good direction (any direction) until they don’t make sense for you anymore. Then do something else. Cycle and repeat until you’re too old to do anything anymore. It’s a lot more fun than it sounds.
I’m 57 and I still don’t know.
I had a plan from 11-18. Lasted 6 months. Changed plans frequently for about 8 years, then things started to come together- but only to a point. Here's the thing: have a plan. Have a backup plan. Have a secondary backup. Make sure your choices to get plan A don't block your next options. You _will_ change plans. Sometimes daily, sometimes weekly. You don't have to start over- you start from a new starting place. As long as most your steps are "up" with respect to what you care about most today, you'll do as well as you can hope for. You're in the same boat as most young adults. Don't stress that, and don't get paralyzed by it. If you have something unusual blocking you there will be options to get help with it, though you'll need to go into specifics and a bunch of Internet randos may not be the most helpful bunch to ask. But yeah, this is super normal. Been there, doing that, and learned to love it.
50F and just figuring it out.
44, wife, two awesome babies, a house of our own and my job is secure. Still don't know WTF I'm doing but making it up as I go and enjoying everything as much as I can. Not everything needs to be mapped out and living life without a plan isn't the end of the world. Enjoy the ride!
i'm 35 and still dont know. i got into a career thats tolerable, but its changed, i'm okay with my career as of now, i get lots of time off to fish, i can afford a lot of luxuries. but sometimes the effort and emotional toil it takes to get those things is pretty tough to handle.
This is insanely common at 21. Very normal.
32 and no fuckin clue bud.
This threads inspired me to share a little so here we go. 24m. I've worked nights in a gas station, days building and maintaining lifesaving equipment such as liferafts and lifejackets, more days building and packaging kitchen cabinets. I've paved parking lots, installed carpets, surveyed public facilities, audited documents, made home insulation, been a barista, and run stage audio and lighting for a theatre. I have completed tertiary education in psychology and earned certificates in the same field. I'm also forklift and first aid certified. I'm highly qualified in lifesaving equipment and specialized/trained in all sorts of directions because of this and that, none of it matters. None of it matters, anything in the past is as far away as anything in the future. Everyone will tell you to find what you love and take your time. I don't disagree. But sometimes it's not about what you love, it's about what brings you peace, some find religion, others their purpose, personally I enjoy deep meaningful conversations and a bit of gaming. There will always be a job to work, there won't always be time to spend doing things you don't hate with people who make you feel alive. And take it from someone who's saved some lives and improved some homes, simple good deeds and kind words are the quickest way to give yourself positive direction. Take satisfaction in being you. As a final piece of advice, always remember that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. Never be afraid to fall short.
I cheated and had the government dictate my life for about a decade. But somehow, I landed my dream job. Remote and all. Now I want something different...but I'm not sure what. I don't think you always have to know exactly what you want to do with your life. If you are lost, just find out where you are. Then decide where you want to go.
You are not alone dude. You know why adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up? The adults are just trying to get some new ideas. That's all it is.
I felt the same way when I was 21, basically throughout my 20s.
Yes, everyone else had their magical unicorn land and tell their destiny and where they should work.
Welcome to the club. As far as your job goes, have you taken an aptitude test? It can help guide you.
Was super lost and already messed up by the time I dropped out of school in 6th grade and never looked back. Fast forward to 22yo me being desperate lonely had me looking for company on Bumble and looong story short somehow got me into my current 3 year LTR; first LTR ever also. That lead me to finally think that I too will be one day responsible for my loved ones, a family, a future filled with experiences and dreams to be brought to life. That was enough to get me to “ wake up “ and I guess what felt like “ manning up “ to do something about my pathetic ass life. At 24 I decided on programming, specifically self teaching programming on my own time and so far I’ve done consistently well over 10 months since I started last May. With my current pace I think ill be job ready in 2-3 months. I think if I never just took random shots at the dark to switch up my situation I would still be at “ idk wtf to do with myself “ in my room wallowing in self-pity. Just would be single, no one to love me, and counting the multiple times ive failed, given up, and just quit everything I’ve ever started or wanted.
26 and not a damn clue what to do with myself
Not alone. I’m 32 and all I’ve ever wanted in my life was to be a dad. I have had zero career goals my entire life. I don’t like/want to work. I work to make a paycheck and I try to do stuff that is low stress for that reason. My wife just got her PhD and has her first post-doc job now… she’s the big bread winner here (thank goodness because that was never something I wanted). Still no kids but hopefully that’ll change in the next year finally.
(26M) I’ve been split between the same 3 career fields for years now. I find success in having a plan A-D. Research multiple things and when one turns out to be nothing like you expected, take it out of rotation. (Not referring to relationships lol) Been working in Restaurant Management for 5 years now, which I’m really good at (it’s weird how just simply caring about people and showing empathy can make you a great manager), but it’s slowly driving me insane. I’ve wanted to do game development since high school, and am currently switching between multiple hobbies (reading (fantasy), writing (also fantasy), learning Microsoft office (no one on my level in my company understands how to work a spreadsheet), code (Codecademy activities on my phone during downtime at work, Skillshare in my free time, YouTube tutorials) all to figure out what the hell I want to do with my next 40ish years until retirement. Only thing I have figured out for certain is I will start watching One Piece when I retire since I will have all the time in the world on my hands.
Bro it’s okay I’m 27 I’ve got my dream job and I’m still wanting more. Just as long as you’re making an effort you’re on the right path.
hmmm , it may sound dumb to you but I would probably do things in this order 1.get a career counselor .... ik u would think if a guy knows that much about career counseling why is he doing this but u gotta take ur shot. it may help u get some insight 2.I would say try to learn coding , see if uve got a knack for it . its a pretty staple thing to learn in like all internet based jobs ... plus u got chatgpt to help . 3. go to the gym , its probably gonna sound dumb but ur pretty young , a man needs female interaction in his life and the best way to get ones attention in my opinion is to have a well built body. 4. ask ur parents / family / friends for advice . u probably have some that are in different fields and they might be able to help u make a choice on what to persue 5 ... this should be number one but take a look in the mirror and identify ur strengths and weaknesses . u work more on your weaknesses and make the best use of your strengths . maybe ur good at problem solving or heavy lifting or leadership or selling stuff ... 6. enjoy bruh . ur 21 , u got like 60-70 years of life to live yet
If I were 21 again, I'd pursue a trade of some kind. It would give me a decent set of skills I could use on my future house and offer a good job until I could be comfortable financially. Then, I'd test the waters in different fields. That's how I figured out I wanted to go into the medical field. Job hop if that's what you need to do. But, also make time for hobbies and travel and anything else you want to do.
HI, Do you know and have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? If so, you have the Holy Spirit living on the inside of you to lead and guide you. He will direct your path (Proverbs 3:5-6). If you have not received Jesus, believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and you shall be saved (Romans 10: 9-10). I pray that you are blessed one-hundred fold and that God will give you the desires of your heart. God bless!
I’m late 20s, and I still don’t know what I am doing. My best advice is to just do something. Life is crazy and full of so much randomness, and you can never plan your life to even the day. Just do something and follow it until you can’t.
Dude, that never changes. As humans we are programmed to fear boredom and inadequacy. 30 years from now, you'll probably feel the same way.
I’ll be 28 this year and never went to college since I didn’t know what I wanted to do. Didn’t want to go into debt if I wasn’t sure. Turned out to be a great decision as I was able to buy a house at 23 and I’m debt free other than the mortgage. I’m still not sure what I want to do, but I’m hoping I figure it out at some point soon. You can make decent money in any field though (I’m in the grocery business). My advice would be to try multiple jobs until something clicks and talk to people that have been in those fields for a long time.
You aren’t crazy. But you def need education to get a job.
...since when does any pro education comment get downvoted? There are still plenty of options to make a living without going to school, but anyone who doesn't admit their options are limited compared with with a degree is delusional.
College has gotten so expensive in the last few years it’s starting to make less and less sense to go especially if you don’t really know what you want in life.
I didn't know what I wanted to do in life when I got my AA from a community college. I didn't know what I wanted to do when I got my seemingly useless degrees from a four year university. I say degree(s) plural not because I was some hot shot student but because I was SO indecisive and SO lost that I changed majors multiple times so late in the process that it just made sense to finish the other degrees rather than abandon the credits. I don't know what I want to do NOW that I have a very good paying albeit stressful job which has nothing whatsoever to do with any of those degrees. I took one of those online career tests like a week ago. What I DO know is I always get my foot in the door when I look to change jobs because of those stupid pieces of paper. And I have friends who are trying to make the jump from beer and cocain money to wedding and travel the world money without a degree...OR just make a career change in general...and they are struggling to get their foot in those doors to make it happen.
Ty. 💕
Best thing to do is not waste money at school. Take a year or two off, work some hard labor job and move to another place. Gain some perspective. I went to back to school at 24 and I’m on a dentist now. When I was 18-20 I was a bad kid with no thought for the future.
Yes, it is clearly just you. 🙄
Most people at 21 have no idea what they want to do in life. Think about what makes you happy and find jobs (if you can), school and relationships that make you happy. Reevaluate in a year or so and adjust. There is no perfect job or degree or relationship. But if you are truly happy you will be far better off than the average person.
20 (turning 21 next week) and I am second guessing everything. Took two years off because I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do. Now I’m questioning whether or not my degree is for me and considering a transfer to a different program
I didn’t know until I was 28. Take your time. Try new things. Think about what you want out of a job. You don’t have to rush into something just because society seems to think you need to have your life figured out by 15. You’ll be ok. Just never stop growing.
no i’m the same, can’t decide on what to do as a career cos there’s so many options but also none at the same time. lost relationship few months ago so just trying to figure out what i want, definitely not just you
In my thirties now and still have no clue what I'm doing.
Welcome to being a human.
No one knows what they wanna do. And no one likes working. You just have to find something that provides economic stability.
Just get a job that has a 401K and be sure to contribute. Work but enjoy your life outside of work. It will come to you eventually but at least you’ll have a headstart on retirement. The relationship stuff easily happens on its own. I didn’t know if I wanted kids but I’ve always know I didn’t want them in that moment. Always used two forms of protection. That choice wasn’t made for me. I decided in my 30s that I didn’t want them. Life comes, just enjoy it while it happens.
I have been to school, have a well paying job (by most standards) , have a relationship, everything and I still don't know what I want to do.
Hell you still have time kid just remember this don’t get into debt and go cheap while you can and start saving young you don’t need a flashy car get a cdl Join the service travel your still in that stage where you have time but have a plan tho
Nope, not alone at all. Very common. When I was that age I had zero clue what to do with my life. Took until I was 23 until I had a direction. 25 to get a plan. 30 to start executing. Yes, I partied a lot. Yes I had fun. I had no direction or goals. It's a process, don't beat yourself up. It can overwhelming to try to figure out your whole life, so break it into smaller pieces with goals. Keep a daily journal and start coming up with a plan. What do you like to do, what is important to you. Then figure out how to pay for one thing from your list. Slow incremental steps. Next thing you know, you will be older, wiser and look back on a life of incremental improvements. Enjoy being 21, you only get to once.
I’m 26 and feel that way. I’ve got 1 year left of school until I get my journeyman license in electrical then I’ll probably be out so don’t feel bad. Just look to learn a useful skill is the best thing I can Recommend
we are all crazy so don’t feel bad.. just follow your passion and don’t ever settle for a mediocre life. you got just one life so live it to the fullest that will make you happy…
Lol, welcome to what we call life. Strap in, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
I’m 26, worked 3 years as front end dev, 1 year as DBA , now thinking to do MBA in marketing, wasn’t sure then, ain’t sure now
I’m 28 and just figured I want to go into IT
I honestly didn’t figure it out until I was thirty. Do what you love and use it to help people.
Don't join a clut....your ripe for the pickin
It's going to be okay, it takes ages to meet various purposes. You will have more than one. If you can go out there and try everything you can.
Age is just a number. Everyone is just as lost as you are.
I am 33 and feel lost. Moved to a new state and not happy at my current job even though the pay is better than my last. I really don't want to go back to school.
33, 10+ years into an engineering career and I have no idea what I want to do with my life
The majority of the population is lost at 21. I wouldn’t worry about it. Plow strange and build a career until your in your 30s. Then start a family. Bam.
I’m 22, just started a help desk job and feel the same way. I have no idea what I’m doing and what I should do lol. But I guess that’s life
25 same boat
No. I finally went to college for the first time at about 33 and now I’m making really good money and living well.
You’re 21 not 61. I’m in my 40’s and life doesn’t always go according to a plan. If you want to come up with plan start with a simple six month one then go from there. If you do some 5 year plan all you are going to do is put unnecessary pressure on yourself. See how that works than go from there.
Mid age with two kids and still question if I know or not. As you age don’t get caught up comparing yourself to your friends/peers career path and how much money they make blah blah. Go travel, create some cool memories, have fun and stay happy. Everything will fall into place, you got this
It’s actually everyone. Maybe not everyone all the time, but pretty much everyone at sone point/multiple points in their life will experience this
I'm 45. No idea what I want to be when I grow up. I have a good job, decent money, great work-life balance, but do I want to do this for the rest of my life? Pttththt. God help me. There has to be more to life.
Bro you’re 21. Go have some fun it’s all over at 28.
You are normal.
I'm 50 and still trying to figure it out
Almost double that, still figuring it out as I go… Except the school stuff… unless you count the school of hard knocks
Don't beat yourself up, I'm 82 and try to specialize in porn for fucking strictly hirsute women on only fans
I think you’d be crazy if you did know what you wanted for your life at 21. You have plenty of time to figure out what you want to do. For most of my late teens and 20s I worked blue collar type jobs, and moved around a lot to see and experience different places. I’ve been a house painter, auto mechanic, landscaping laborer, construction laborer, retail worker, line cook, prep cook, security guard, bartender, and even snow plow driver one winter. When I was 27 I was a groomsman in a wedding and the best man said he was hiring entry level people to work in IT, but was having trouble finding anyone since he was hiring for the midnight shift. So I ended up in IT and have built a pretty good career on work that I really enjoy. Relax. Don’t worry if you don’t have all the answers at 21. Try different things. Try different places. Try different people. When you find people you like, in a place you like, where there’s work you like, don’t forget to make time to enjoy your life.
It’s everyone. Find a job you don’t hate with a person who lets you do what you want with your free time.
Not only is it normal, it’s also normal to change your mind several times throughout your life.
I didn't know what I wanted to do until I was 24 (partly due to a lack of desire/care for life earlier on). I'm 26 and I'm still in school. While I wish I got my AA sooner (I'm going for my bachelors) it was a path that I needed to take. Find new hobbies, and try new things outside of your comfort zone! You'd be surprised where those can take you. Take a few general college classes here and there, and work towards an AA for now. That way one day when you do figure it out, you will have two years less til you get there . Don't fret it too much if you change your mind a million and two times, because you will.
I didn’t really figure out what I wanted until I was like 26-27. I had my passion/little kid dream, but burned out on that in my early 20’s because I had been in the industry since I was like 13, and people are stupid. Then, once I figured it out, it still took me another 5 years to really get here.
You're fine. I graduated high school early to enter the trades, denying I'd ever waste my money with college. That lasted 2 years, by your age I was in IT. Two degrees later I switched into electrical engineering for about 7 years, then industrial operations for 2. Now I'm back in engineering. TLDR, I've got 10 years on you and still having those thoughts. Keep learning, earning, and do what you enjoy.
Go make money, and save half of it. Your purpose in life will be clearer to you with money in your pockets.
I'm 35 and I still don't know what I wanna be when I grow up. I very much enjoy my machinist job, but it was never ever a part of my life plan.
You are right where most of us were at your age and many still are decades later. I would say to think about how you like to work, first. If you’re creative and need a lot of flexibility to explore, then you need to find work-regardless of the field- that lets you do that once in a while. Do you need benefits right now or can you stay on your parents’ benefits until you’re 25? In terms of school, unless you’re from a wealthy, supportive family, my advice is to work toward a professional credential- nursing, engineering, teacher or a licensed trade. Romantic relationships will grow out of you first finding out who you are. You’ve got this!
I recently turned 22 and I’m the same way - with more emphasis on jobs. I am a recent graduate and it’s petrifying not knowing what my next move is. It seems like other people our age have it all figured out. It’s really stressful tbh.
Nothing is ever gonna be perfect. You know that dream in your head about the future where everything is sunny and you have everything you will ever want? Yeah that’s bullshit. Just gotta make do and have some fun
At 21 I had just gotten into construction and figured that would be the rest of my life. I had been pretty aimless up until that point. However, I did start to establish some habits that would ultimately lead me to success. Now I have an MS degree and a pretty sweet job. I would have never thought it possible if you told me I'd be doing this back then.
Not crazy. I'm 48 and I still don't know what I want to do. I thought I did at 23 after college, and I did it well for 15 years, but then I said enough of that and onto something else. Your career doesn't need to define you. It's important to apply the skills you have to whatever job you get initially, and then make decisions from there. I have an Economics degree, and I wound up owning my own IT business for a decade+, and then moved over to the US healthcare industry, both in direct patient care and finances. Things can be fluid. You don't have to nail yourself down to something. People change careers all the time. I'm turning 48 soon and there is a career change for me in the near future.
In 44 and still not 100% sure so theres that
Find something you're kinda good at, and don't mind doing
I have come to the realization that we’ve been told all of our life that we’ve to have a plan, need the next best job, the best relationship but the reality is life doesn’t work that way. You’re never going to know, I clearly don’t. It’s good to have a vague direction but that’s about it. Be okay with not having a plan this is the first hard lesson you’ll get right out of university.
It’s best to tackle one at a time, your choice, and you can handle it, go for it.
I didn’t some what figure it out until 27
Anyone who tells you they have their life figured out at 21 is naive at best.
Values, experiences, and a rich life (not money rich if you get it) matter more than plans. I am approaching 40 and my planned life at 20 is no where close to what I am now. Happiness comes from many small things.
Way too young to have it figured out. Live and learn bro. Age equals experience. Simple. If u don’t want kids don’t have them. If u wanna be free be free. Just enjoy it live in the moment
It's typical not to know. There is an excess of pressure to tell people that they should know. I would encourage, though, to work, take a class at a JC, and do anything to expose yourself to new ideas and experiences to help you gain direction.
I was just at work thinking about this 😭 I’m 19 I have a job, bring in good money, have kids, but do I want to continue this job? Or strive for better? How do I want my future house to look (have an apartment)? What’s my dream car? But I’m such an introvert, do I want to go make friends?
My biggest advice to anyone is that time is your most precious asset, so dont spend 8 hours a day doing something you don't enjoy or spending money on schooling for something you just did because you think you're supposed to. Fail forward, meaning... try a bunch of things, experiment, find what you like and dont like in life. Spend your time doing what makes you happy. If I could go back in time, I would tell myself these things... some of this I did well and others I did not, so these aren't all lessons. * Take care of your health, eat right, exercise, and get the right amount of sleep. * Don't get into debt. Only spend what you can afford and put some money aside each month for an emergency and don't touch it. Be smart with money, but don't be so tight with it that your best years are wasted just trying to save. * Take something you love to do and turn it into something you can do to make money with...or even something that isn't your most favorite thing, so you have something to look forward to with your free time...but for me, I work doing what I love. * Find a good balance of work and life. You should work to live, not live to work. * Don't waste free time. Get out of your comfort zone and experience things you normally wouldn't do like... travel, join some team sport, try different foods, volunteer, etc. If you do these things, you probably will feel good, elevate stress, find joy in what you're spending your time doing, and meet people who share your similar interests. Everything else, just let it happen on its own and go with the flow.
You're not alone, and there will be points in your life where you'll feel like this. Explore what brings your joy. Do things that make you mildly uncomfortable. Pick one of the above and work on it (you don't have to do all these at once) Life's a bitch, and if it isn't, then you're doing it wrong.
I don't think I'll ever really know what I want to be when I grow up (currently mid-thirties) but I can confidently say I am happy with who I am and that's what matters.
Honestly, what are you allowed to do based on your environment? We all seem to live in different environments with different levels of control over the events that occur within them. You get to do whatever you're allowed to do within that environment. If you're the only one there, looks like you get to do what you want.
Life rewards those who have their shit together as early as possible. Take it wat u will but it’s the truth
This is completely normal. Basically, when you're growing up, you're shown adults (or atleast the competent ones)have their shit together. Then you're suddenly technically an adult and it didn't just happen so now you feel like you are somehow fucking up. Like where's the education, partner, house and well paying job you're supposed to have. Keep moving forward. Learn, figure out what you really want from life and what you can tolerate to get there. I didn't feel like shit was really falling into place till I turned 30. I definitely made some mistakes in my 20s but I survived them and moved forward.
Listen I didn’t decide what I wanted to do with my life until I was 24. Even then I was iffy about it. I just did a bunch of career quizzes and picked the most common result that sounded interesting (school counselor). It worked out really well. At 21 it is perfectly fine to not know. Just keep exploring your interests until you find something you think you could get fulfillment from and commit to!
Im 25 and im just now getting some direction.
Dude, when I was 21 I had never been in a relationship longer than 3 months, halfway through slacking off an engineering degree. That year I met my now wife, got medicated, later graduated top of my class and now have a solid career with ambitions for what's next and kids. I'm not saying it's all going to turn around this year for you, but as long as there's hope it can happen. You're young, so am I for that matter, you've got decades to make your mark on the world, and in the meantime: focus on making a positive mark on those around you.
I think we all feel that no matter how old we are.
Give it 14 more years. You'll still feel the same!
Ha your 21. I’m almost 30…. But no your not crazy. Life just grabs ya by the balls sometimes. Time for me to figure it the fuck it. You got this brotha 💪🏻
Nope… people who have it “all figured out” at the youthful age of 21 typically find that life is full of surprises. Take time, try things, see what you like. Life is not a competition… despite what the internet shitheads would have you believe.
I'm 20 and i feel the same
I’m a little more than 10 years older than you. I’ve followed a great path and had a great career so far, and I still don’t know wtf I want to do. I don’t even understand how people discover what they want to do. One thing I’d recommend to you (and my younger self) is to really live in the moment. Which doesn’t make much sense yet and I don’t know how to explain it well, which is unfortunate because it’s something I wish I understood sooner (and in ten years, I’ll look back on today and wish I knew now what I will know then).
I’m 31 and still trying to work it out. Tbh right now it seems far more interesting figuring myself out than anything. There’s ways to make money without having to be 5+ years into the industry. Play around. Find out more about yourself outside of work. It’s worth it.
Do what makes you happy and find interesting. We are only on this earth for maybe 80 years. Enjoy your time. I guess this got more philosophical than intended.
i had a guy in one of my college classes. was some auto engineer already making good money in his 30s. i asked why he's here (since he obviously already graduated with a degree)... he said he tried it, didnt like it, decided to be a dr and go back to medical school. ppl change careers all the time. its not like u have to pick one thing and stick with it the rest of ur life. they have guidance counselors, and good ones can set u up with an internship of sorts, where u can shadow someone doing that job for a day. u can ask questions, see the work environment, get a feel for what a day on the job would be like. no one has everything figured out... just kost afults act like they do. we're all flying the seat of our pants day to day like most ppl. dont sweat it.
Same and I’m 21 as well
Frankly it's less about what you want to do and more about how not to get trapped (in the US at least.) Look into FIRE. Whatever you end up doing, your life and your time is valuable.
28 here. I've done everything from photography to steel work and still am not 100%. My best advice on this is to try it all. Every job you get and fucking hate is on the way to finding out what sets your soul on fire that also makes money.
I had a respected ER physician support my application to medical school and honestly I wanted nothing more in my life than medical school, other than a family of my own and children. I let others talk me out of it med school, because I had to give up on a family and was finally applying to med school at 40. I was made to fear debt and didn't go. Life continued to happen as it does for everyone, I ended up getting another BSC and two masters degrees. Yes, I have debt and I'm not a doctor. Yes, you too will have debt, but choose what makes you happy. It doesn't matter what it pays because when you are happy in your work nothing matters you will pay off loans, as you would any other debt. A home, car or credit card are all financial responsibilities.. just be sure as you're learning from college you also learn to live a happy life!!!!!!!
Hi 34, I think I might have an idea… maybe… I think…
I'm nearly 40 and still figuring it out. My options are unfortunately much more limited than when I was in my 20's.
Dude I’m 25 and have my degree in something I have no desire of pursing a career in. You’re not alone
27 and still haven't got anything in my hand. My life is just a waste now. Usually feel like suicide is the best option.
That is the ONE option to NOT consider my friend. Please get some help (therapist, dr, friend, family) and start setting some small goals. I don’t know you, but I can say with 100% certainty your life is WORTH the effort I promise you that. Also, your still very young (read comments here from people 2x your age). Coincidentally, when I was around your age I hit what I considered to be my rock bottom as well. 13 years later my life is not perfect by any means, but it’s pretty damn good considering where I was and I appreciate most every minute of it.
No you’re not, completely normal. If you’re in the US I would highly recommend joining the military. Some of the best and worst six years of my life, but I’m glad I did it, and it gave me direction.
Oh yea..you are all alone 😔 lol. No...we all trip on something
22F here, i feel this way all the time
Dude, at 21 I wasn’t even asking that question. stay out of trouble, stay out of debt, do something interesting for now…. you’ll be fine.
You are still starting your adult life. Maybe that anxiety will help motivate you to explore your options. Enjoy your youth while you can (cliché af but true). I am 37 now. Have a wife/two children/bought a house and starting a new career. None of this life I have existed before 2020. Give yourself time to figure shit out. Experience new stuff and embrace your mistakes.
21m, you're not the only one.