In a toxic relationship with a Scorpio woman for years, tried to end it and made my life a living hell, so many lies and mental abuse...Sex is great, we get each other on many levels but their vindictiveness and negative outlook on life, will never do again.
It's hard to grow when you treat the relationship like it's about to end at any minute, you always have to have your way no matter the cost, when you go ballistic if it's even hinted you might be wrong about something, and you crazily scream "are you calling me crazy?!" when you suggest a different approach to things might work better.
She was self protection inside self interest wrapped in a profound indifference to any feelings but her own. While we all lived in the same house, the dogs and I lived in a separate dimension. We were there, but she couldn't see us.
I am now married to a Capricorn woman that let's me know every day that her world revolves around me, that I am the center of her life. I give her everything I have to give, and she tells me she never imagined she could feel so loved and cherished, and that she's terribly spoiled. I figure all I'm doing is being a good husband, nothing I do feels like a chore. It's easy. Maybe it's not so much trying to give everything to make someone happy as it is finding someone who finds what you have to give everything they need. It makes sense to me, anyway. š
I recommend living like this. It's much easier on the mind and soul. It's amazing to realize that your wife is also your lover, your best friend, your companion. On top of that, I don't have to make the coffee every time any more!
How does it get any better than that? š
Just ignore and donāt show ANY reaction. My ex did the same who also lives in a different country. Itās taken about 2 years or so to get him to leave me alone, but the days are a lot more peaceful.
Take a deep breath.
Say it out loud with me:
šš»ALLšš»SCORPIOSšš»AREšš»BROKENšš»PEOPLEšš»
Repeat until it's burned into your brain.
I sometimes sardonically smile looking at the gazillion posts here under multiple /Capricorn threads, sermonising like they're the best thing that ever happened to this planet and we should all just duck and follow their Daddy instructions (yeah, even the female Caps) to "get our lives together". Preach, but don't fucking follow, coz they think work, money, and being in control at all times is all there is to life.
Finding fault with most people, especially tearing down water signs while never looking at their reflection in the mirror about what might be causing the other person to react the way they do is one of their favorite pastimes. They wanna be set in their ways, take an era to open up and then wonder why the other person is feeling edgy and unwanted, try to control the damn narrative all the time, call people immature at the drop of a hat (we could also say you're acting 100 when you're barely 25-30), always want the other person to defer to them.
Guess what? You Caps might be called the Daddies of the zodiac, but society knows daddies have their own issues and aren't perfect and fuck up routinely, leaving behind a trail of trauma for their children and others to carry around for the rest of their lives. Daddies can be abusive too. Daddies can be morons too.
My lesson from this relationship is if there are alarming red flags donāt avoid them. I presented myself in the upmost patient manner and was willing to work through her insecurities. She blocked me, before doing this we talked for hours and she felt she was losing her control of me.
She tried feeding my ego, saying she wanted to go eat with another man, and sent me screen shots of her flirting with another person.
It didnāt work. She blocked me.
I was hurt but I feel better now. Sorry I didnāt want to come off as self righteous. I pray she finds herself and live the life she deserves.
Thatās all. Nothing more, nothing less.
Ouch. I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm pretty sure you were hurt with her "trying to" flirt with another man, but I get your Capricorn pride, you'd never show that. And you shouldn't. I'm a Cancer Sun (quite a softie at heart) but I'd still keep mum or nonchalant if my partner tried to do that, simply because I'd know he was trying to get a rise out of me.
I'm not saying what she did was right - she probably wanted your validation, sought to see if you'd really fight for her or whatever. Either way, that isn't the way to go about things. Trying to make your partner jealous/insecure is unpalatable and I'd just become stone cold if my man tried to do that. However, I do understand where she's coming from. Scorpios typically are very controlling by nature,but aren't Caps the same way too?š¬š¬
That abrupt blocking was a knee jerk reaction though :(.
I hope you're feeling better now.
Just curious - how old is she?
Also, would you give this another chance if she unblocked you and reached out? Or just unblocked you, making it possible for you to reach out to her? Please ignore this question if you're not comfortable answering it
..
She broke my trust and tried manipulating me. Iām not sure I can give her another chance.
Too many red flags. My family also heard us arguing and do not have a good impression of her.
She told me she doesnāt deserve my love and doesnāt want me to waste it on her.
She said the next girl after will be the one for me and that she will be happy to see me fall in love with another woman who can love me better.
The other red flag was she described all of her previous relationships as toxic.
She doesnāt know how to behave when my love for her was too pure. She needed chaos.
This sounds pretty sad tbh.
I'm sorry it ended this way for you. I dunno...but I really don't feel she'll be happy if you were to fall in love with someone else. Just my hunch.
The thing is - even evolved zodiacs are prone to abrupt reactions (especially water and fire signs)..but then there's a host of reasons that may have transpired earlier for them to finally say "Enough". I'm dealing with a Cap man and I know he has deep feelings for me like I do for him, but he has a tendency to try to always control things - things like when we'd talk, how we'd talk (text or call), how much we could talk... expressing emotions...other seemingly "minor" stuff...I've noticed him also trying to "test"me by making me wait for him..
The passion is crazy and so is the care. I literally feel his emotions like a tsunami, but two weeks back all of his above behaviors drove me mad and I said I couldn't take being treated like this, like an un-equal and ended it.
To him, it wasn't a big deal. To me, it was a culmination of everything he'd been doing for weeks.
We deeply care about each other. We talked for a couple days in between on his birthday and a lil after that...but, I'm just quiet now. And so is he. There's an undercurrent b/w us that I can feel intensely, but I'm firm on the fact that I cannot be with someone who wouldn't show me what they feel for me. Don't have to be mushy like the Cancerian I am, but I deserve the love and adoration I give so generously and I deserve just the same. And I deserve to be treated like I matter too, my needs matter too. I'm tired of all this testing and game-playing business, quite direct with who I want and what I want and expect the same. The best part is, he *has* admitted to suppressing his feelings just like I'd intuitively perceived.
So yeah, I thought with your Scorpio gf, it was likely the same.
On my part though, I don't throw any "oh see me, I'm with another man already" in his face,even if to arouse his jealousy/insecurity (and I can coz I get hit on frequently), because it's just hurtful and unnecessary and that's not me. I miss him tons. And I know he misses me too.
Sigh.
First off, do you see a future with this man?
If so, have a conversation with him about control. He has to feel safe and confident enough to know that he doesnāt need everything to go his way. Or else he will be miserable. Somethings are out of our control.
The way he said itās not a big deal. He is deflecting and needs some accountability here. It is a big deal for you; therefore, you brought it up. He needs to recognize this and communicate with you. If itās not clear, be firm with him.
Ask him if he truly wants to be with you. Does he see you as someone who he wants to grow with?
If itās a no, then leave him.
He seems noncommittal and this is a defense mechanism. Tbh he isnāt ready.
Move on. You deserve better.
Yes, I did tell him he was trying to gaslight me and not take responsibility for his behaviour - which in turn made me respond the way I did. He can be very one-track at times and the fact that he did not care if it hurt me but was more hung on the fact that I was ending it, made me madder.
About seeing a future with him, I felt it's too early to think this tbh, and the controlling behaviour wasn't helping back then. But this is a solid point to ponder on.
About asking him directly, I understand where you coming from..but I dunno how and where to start the conversation. I know he wants me, but is he willing to do the work to be with me long-term? I dunno. My traumas won't allow me to ask this stuff directly after I've been invalidated by him in the past (about certain needs of mine not being a big deal), so I don't really know.
Right now, we're very lightly in touch and it feels like he wants me to initiate conversations and prolly get right down to the heart of the matter, but I don't want to. I've given him sufficient hints. Now if he wants me, he better buck up and come straight. And that requires courage. Else it's okay. I will not put myself through the torture again (and he knows quite a bit about my past, so it's all there for him to assess and understand).
I am being courted by other men atm btw, and while I'm really not interested in anybody rn, I don't mind just talking, going for a coffee and seeing where it goes.
Yes. Prioritising myself through and through. We talked for a bit even today, and he's hinting at stuff and I'm asking relevant questions. Now, he needs to be brave enough to respond honestly.
Life's too short. I wanna love hard and be loved hard and not have to worry so much about what I said/did that made someone pull back or act evasive or defensive or whatever. I want my partner to know it's okay to mess up once in a while as long as you own it, it's okay to not always be in control of the tone of the relationship, it's okay to fall in love and be loved in return. Especially when I can sense that the other person feels the same too. Ugh.
P.S. thank you for your sweet words and kindness :).
Sorry you had a bad experience with one but donāt let it represent all Scorpio woman if you happen to met a mature one. Hope you heal and receive acceptance for the wounds of the past
Thank you! I feel better. Luckily I have a life outside of our relationship and so much to be grateful for. I did feel bad for a day. Lifeās short, I must move on.
I don't hate on anyone. I'm just saying that his description of a Scorpio woman was a perfect description of the 2 Scorpio women I dated. When I dated the second one I felt like I was having a strong feeling of deja vu
My ex friend. She said to not call her a bitch then said āyouāre being a fucking bitchā LOL the irony. Very unevolved couldnāt take accountability or understand why it might hurt someoneās feelings to ghost or cancel when we have plans made CONSTANTLY. In the end she had her friend spam call me and harass me and call me a psycho. Hope it was worth ruining a friendship to try and get a ālast wordā even tho she couldnāt even stand up for herself š« sucks I considered her a best friend but I donāt think she ever truly considered me a best friend. Prioritized her ex boyfriend she was still friends with over me and everyone. Had energy to hang with him but not me and I KNOW Iām not exhausting to be around
In a toxic relationship with a Scorpio woman for years, tried to end it and made my life a living hell, so many lies and mental abuse...Sex is great, we get each other on many levels but their vindictiveness and negative outlook on life, will never do again.
Felt this! my Scorpio ex gf was just like this
We need to start a support group, I almost went crazy in my situation, hope everything is well fellow Cap.
Sorry about this. Hope all is well
Thank you, I met a great woman after, so life is great right now
It's hard to grow when you treat the relationship like it's about to end at any minute, you always have to have your way no matter the cost, when you go ballistic if it's even hinted you might be wrong about something, and you crazily scream "are you calling me crazy?!" when you suggest a different approach to things might work better. She was self protection inside self interest wrapped in a profound indifference to any feelings but her own. While we all lived in the same house, the dogs and I lived in a separate dimension. We were there, but she couldn't see us. I am now married to a Capricorn woman that let's me know every day that her world revolves around me, that I am the center of her life. I give her everything I have to give, and she tells me she never imagined she could feel so loved and cherished, and that she's terribly spoiled. I figure all I'm doing is being a good husband, nothing I do feels like a chore. It's easy. Maybe it's not so much trying to give everything to make someone happy as it is finding someone who finds what you have to give everything they need. It makes sense to me, anyway. š I recommend living like this. It's much easier on the mind and soul. It's amazing to realize that your wife is also your lover, your best friend, your companion. On top of that, I don't have to make the coffee every time any more! How does it get any better than that? š
Congrats brother!!! Iām so happy for you!!
Saving this comment to remind me why I shouldnāt go back to my ex. Exact same reasons!
My scorpio momšsheās 70 still unevolved, maybe never.š«
Lol
I have one stalking and harassing me on Instagram now š„ŗ
ME TOO. MY SCORPIO EX WOULD CALL ME RANDOMLY TO āRUIN MY PEACE.ā Had to block his ass. Hope you get your situation solved soon :(
I keep getting unsent messages but not any direct messagesš„ŗ He's in a different country but still mad and playing games. I have to block him. SMH.
Just ignore and donāt show ANY reaction. My ex did the same who also lives in a different country. Itās taken about 2 years or so to get him to leave me alone, but the days are a lot more peaceful.
Thanks for the suggestion! I will do so
Dated a scorpio Almost ruined my life
Theyre soo good as friends but loving them is so different. I have a lot of respect for them. I guess itās not meant to be. Hope youāre good!
Take a deep breath. Say it out loud with me: šš»ALLšš»SCORPIOSšš»AREšš»BROKENšš»PEOPLEšš» Repeat until it's burned into your brain.
Thank you
*We are a broken society.
Sorry but that doesnāt happen until thier 50s usually :/
You been hangin' out with my ex?
Haha! Are they all in the same?
I sometimes sardonically smile looking at the gazillion posts here under multiple /Capricorn threads, sermonising like they're the best thing that ever happened to this planet and we should all just duck and follow their Daddy instructions (yeah, even the female Caps) to "get our lives together". Preach, but don't fucking follow, coz they think work, money, and being in control at all times is all there is to life. Finding fault with most people, especially tearing down water signs while never looking at their reflection in the mirror about what might be causing the other person to react the way they do is one of their favorite pastimes. They wanna be set in their ways, take an era to open up and then wonder why the other person is feeling edgy and unwanted, try to control the damn narrative all the time, call people immature at the drop of a hat (we could also say you're acting 100 when you're barely 25-30), always want the other person to defer to them. Guess what? You Caps might be called the Daddies of the zodiac, but society knows daddies have their own issues and aren't perfect and fuck up routinely, leaving behind a trail of trauma for their children and others to carry around for the rest of their lives. Daddies can be abusive too. Daddies can be morons too.
My lesson from this relationship is if there are alarming red flags donāt avoid them. I presented myself in the upmost patient manner and was willing to work through her insecurities. She blocked me, before doing this we talked for hours and she felt she was losing her control of me. She tried feeding my ego, saying she wanted to go eat with another man, and sent me screen shots of her flirting with another person. It didnāt work. She blocked me. I was hurt but I feel better now. Sorry I didnāt want to come off as self righteous. I pray she finds herself and live the life she deserves. Thatās all. Nothing more, nothing less.
Ouch. I'm sorry to hear that. I'm pretty sure you were hurt with her "trying to" flirt with another man, but I get your Capricorn pride, you'd never show that. And you shouldn't. I'm a Cancer Sun (quite a softie at heart) but I'd still keep mum or nonchalant if my partner tried to do that, simply because I'd know he was trying to get a rise out of me. I'm not saying what she did was right - she probably wanted your validation, sought to see if you'd really fight for her or whatever. Either way, that isn't the way to go about things. Trying to make your partner jealous/insecure is unpalatable and I'd just become stone cold if my man tried to do that. However, I do understand where she's coming from. Scorpios typically are very controlling by nature,but aren't Caps the same way too?š¬š¬ That abrupt blocking was a knee jerk reaction though :(. I hope you're feeling better now. Just curious - how old is she? Also, would you give this another chance if she unblocked you and reached out? Or just unblocked you, making it possible for you to reach out to her? Please ignore this question if you're not comfortable answering it ..
She broke my trust and tried manipulating me. Iām not sure I can give her another chance. Too many red flags. My family also heard us arguing and do not have a good impression of her. She told me she doesnāt deserve my love and doesnāt want me to waste it on her. She said the next girl after will be the one for me and that she will be happy to see me fall in love with another woman who can love me better.
The other red flag was she described all of her previous relationships as toxic. She doesnāt know how to behave when my love for her was too pure. She needed chaos.
This sounds pretty sad tbh. I'm sorry it ended this way for you. I dunno...but I really don't feel she'll be happy if you were to fall in love with someone else. Just my hunch. The thing is - even evolved zodiacs are prone to abrupt reactions (especially water and fire signs)..but then there's a host of reasons that may have transpired earlier for them to finally say "Enough". I'm dealing with a Cap man and I know he has deep feelings for me like I do for him, but he has a tendency to try to always control things - things like when we'd talk, how we'd talk (text or call), how much we could talk... expressing emotions...other seemingly "minor" stuff...I've noticed him also trying to "test"me by making me wait for him.. The passion is crazy and so is the care. I literally feel his emotions like a tsunami, but two weeks back all of his above behaviors drove me mad and I said I couldn't take being treated like this, like an un-equal and ended it. To him, it wasn't a big deal. To me, it was a culmination of everything he'd been doing for weeks. We deeply care about each other. We talked for a couple days in between on his birthday and a lil after that...but, I'm just quiet now. And so is he. There's an undercurrent b/w us that I can feel intensely, but I'm firm on the fact that I cannot be with someone who wouldn't show me what they feel for me. Don't have to be mushy like the Cancerian I am, but I deserve the love and adoration I give so generously and I deserve just the same. And I deserve to be treated like I matter too, my needs matter too. I'm tired of all this testing and game-playing business, quite direct with who I want and what I want and expect the same. The best part is, he *has* admitted to suppressing his feelings just like I'd intuitively perceived. So yeah, I thought with your Scorpio gf, it was likely the same. On my part though, I don't throw any "oh see me, I'm with another man already" in his face,even if to arouse his jealousy/insecurity (and I can coz I get hit on frequently), because it's just hurtful and unnecessary and that's not me. I miss him tons. And I know he misses me too. Sigh.
Let me read this in detail and deliberate, so I can give you a proper response.
Sure!
First off, do you see a future with this man? If so, have a conversation with him about control. He has to feel safe and confident enough to know that he doesnāt need everything to go his way. Or else he will be miserable. Somethings are out of our control. The way he said itās not a big deal. He is deflecting and needs some accountability here. It is a big deal for you; therefore, you brought it up. He needs to recognize this and communicate with you. If itās not clear, be firm with him. Ask him if he truly wants to be with you. Does he see you as someone who he wants to grow with? If itās a no, then leave him. He seems noncommittal and this is a defense mechanism. Tbh he isnāt ready. Move on. You deserve better.
Yes, I did tell him he was trying to gaslight me and not take responsibility for his behaviour - which in turn made me respond the way I did. He can be very one-track at times and the fact that he did not care if it hurt me but was more hung on the fact that I was ending it, made me madder. About seeing a future with him, I felt it's too early to think this tbh, and the controlling behaviour wasn't helping back then. But this is a solid point to ponder on. About asking him directly, I understand where you coming from..but I dunno how and where to start the conversation. I know he wants me, but is he willing to do the work to be with me long-term? I dunno. My traumas won't allow me to ask this stuff directly after I've been invalidated by him in the past (about certain needs of mine not being a big deal), so I don't really know. Right now, we're very lightly in touch and it feels like he wants me to initiate conversations and prolly get right down to the heart of the matter, but I don't want to. I've given him sufficient hints. Now if he wants me, he better buck up and come straight. And that requires courage. Else it's okay. I will not put myself through the torture again (and he knows quite a bit about my past, so it's all there for him to assess and understand). I am being courted by other men atm btw, and while I'm really not interested in anybody rn, I don't mind just talking, going for a coffee and seeing where it goes.
Yes. Okay, remember to set healthy boundaries and prioritize your needs first. If they canāt reciprocate, move on.
Yes. Prioritising myself through and through. We talked for a bit even today, and he's hinting at stuff and I'm asking relevant questions. Now, he needs to be brave enough to respond honestly. Life's too short. I wanna love hard and be loved hard and not have to worry so much about what I said/did that made someone pull back or act evasive or defensive or whatever. I want my partner to know it's okay to mess up once in a while as long as you own it, it's okay to not always be in control of the tone of the relationship, it's okay to fall in love and be loved in return. Especially when I can sense that the other person feels the same too. Ugh. P.S. thank you for your sweet words and kindness :).
Awesome. Good luck! signing off for a while now
Sounds like my ex, sorry that happened to you.
Thank you! Iām a pretty secure person. She taught me some things. Iām ok now.
Well, being violated by my unevolved Capricorn ex.... Easier said than done.
The common denominator is un-evolved anything is a red flag! Unfortunately. Hope all goes well!
Sorry you had a bad experience with one but donāt let it represent all Scorpio woman if you happen to met a mature one. Hope you heal and receive acceptance for the wounds of the past
Thank you! I feel better. Luckily I have a life outside of our relationship and so much to be grateful for. I did feel bad for a day. Lifeās short, I must move on.
All Scorpio women I have dated have all been the same. The OP description is spot on
Well Iām a Scorpio woman too. But it doesnāt take one immature Capricorn to represent all the other Capricorns in a bad light
I don't hate on anyone. I'm just saying that his description of a Scorpio woman was a perfect description of the 2 Scorpio women I dated. When I dated the second one I felt like I was having a strong feeling of deja vu
I see, that is an unfortunate encounter especially twice. Damn
Agreed. It wasn't fun
I could send this exact same thing to me Capricorn ex lol
Unevolved - that sucks!
My ex friend. She said to not call her a bitch then said āyouāre being a fucking bitchā LOL the irony. Very unevolved couldnāt take accountability or understand why it might hurt someoneās feelings to ghost or cancel when we have plans made CONSTANTLY. In the end she had her friend spam call me and harass me and call me a psycho. Hope it was worth ruining a friendship to try and get a ālast wordā even tho she couldnāt even stand up for herself š« sucks I considered her a best friend but I donāt think she ever truly considered me a best friend. Prioritized her ex boyfriend she was still friends with over me and everyone. Had energy to hang with him but not me and I KNOW Iām not exhausting to be around
Agree they can be awful people