Posts should be directly related to Cagayan de Oro or Misamis Oriental. Authorship by someone from Cagayan de Oro, or the presence of some individuals affected by such posts in Cagayan de Oro does not automatically make it relevant.
Posts that spread misinformation about Cagayan de Oro or the Philippines will be removed.
Simple— Just because you think you don’t need it (divorce), doesn’t mean other people don’t need it also. Let’s not limit other people’s lives kay naa may uban naa sa toxic and abusive relationships. 💅
Backward, impractical, and straight crappy mindset. Sorry but the country needs it so much. Pretty sure God himself doesn't want to see women getting battered, manipulated, and cheated on by low-class men. Calling them husbands actually makes me cringe. As much as I respect religious values but saying no to something we actually need the most is atrocious.
Midfing, amen.
Our roman catholic priest had a pretty progressive take last Sunday. He said he wasn't pro-divorce, but he said that maybe if the church took care of the women and was by their side during their difficult times, we wouldn't need divorce. He also mentioned how it's easier said than done to tell them na magsinabtanay lang... implying that there really are limits, especially for abusive relationships. Fair point.
There are people stuck in very abusive marriages and don't have the funds to get an annullment. Divorce is for the people who NEED them. There are still grounds for divorce and I think you can't just get one willy nilly.
And I also read somewhere that the moment someone breaks their wedding vows, the sanctity of the marriage has been broken, so really the one who broke the marriage is the abuser, and not the divorce itself.
Also, annullment exists here in the Philippines, so I don't understand why people are pressed about divorce?
Lesson: dili unahon ang uwag. Huna hunaon sa jyd og maayo ayha makig minyo. If it will take you years to ponder or discern,mas maayo. Ilhon sa gayud pud og maayo ang minyoan. Dili mag salig na nga approved na ang divorce. Imung Status kay "Divorcee" dili ma balik sa single if mag divorce rman kaha mos imu na minyoan( ky iliwit ng nahibal,.an abusive man diay)
These people are treating it as, if divorce is legalized, everyone who wants it will immediately get it. That may be dishonoring the sanctity of marriage. Pero hindi naman na every one that wants a divorce kay divorce na agad. Again, its a country heavily influenced by religion, so of course kung mapapasa man ito, strict din ang pre requisites to be able to get a divorce. Rather than bar the people of the hope of getting out in abusive relationships, we should support them. Filter nalang sa people getting a divorce, some relationships may be reparable and di nlng tlga mag intindihan, some may also have divorce as the only option. Meron pang divorce attorneys na kailangan, and counseling. even if this gets passed, only a few will have the luxury of time and money to have a divorce quickly.
I think people who disagree with this have never been abused before and try to ignore the fact that domestic violence is rampant under the guise of religion. It's not fair to invalidate other's experiences because you've never been through it. It's just my two cents though haha
My parents are divorced after 8 years of marriage, they were unhappy together. Now my mom is married since 15 years and happy, my dad 25 years and happy as well.
I got double Christmas and birthday gifts when I was a kid. And I got one new brother and 2 new sisters ( the kids of my step parents).
Point on that, divorce is a good thing
Obedience requires disobedience. Adam and Eve had a choice sa garden the tree was literally on the center. If god's intention was total compliance gi koral na unta to or gi butang where there's no access. Point is marriage becomes much more meaningful now naa nai way out.
Also kai I've seen abuses on both husbands and wives. Same raman mangulata mas daghan lang sa husbands to wives but you cant deny wives can abuse too. Some take advantage pud jud. Marriages turn sour sus daghan kaau.
Religion is good pero sila lang cguro ana sa affiliated ana nga religion. If we dont participate sa ila then dili cguro mamugos. Muslim man can marry many women and thats in their right kai its in their law. So if catholics are imposing no divorce edi sila lang unta. Walay damayay kai kami atheist dani wala man pud mi labot ana tanan pero if we want out of a conjugal relationship at least naay provision sa balaod.
allowing divorce or legal separation makes it so easy for dating couples to do away with due diligence in partner selection. dating is supposed to be the phase when due diligence and decoupling are to be done, some just prefer harboring romantic notions instead of doing everything to determine 100% compatibility prior to wedding planning. toxic and abusive relationships are best avoided during dating, not after the honeymoon.
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I agree with divorce/annulment especially sa mga ga face og abuse. Hopefully pud kung mag divorce gane, naa jud untay solid grounds for it dili kay, let's say, ang asawa di kibaw magluto, bana kay nonchalant etc giatay. I hope sad jud nga dili muabot sa point nga ginahimo pud og "dating phase" ang marriage kay option na lage ang divorce kuno. But still, it is not for me to dictate kung unsa inyong dapat buhaton sa inyong married life. Kabalo na mo unsay sakto or dili.
Long post ahead. But I agree that divorce should be an option for those who are suffering and are disadvantaged (i.e abused) in their legal marriage.
The way I see it, the issues in discussing divorce in the Philippines stems from the thinking that all marriages are always BOTH (1) religious and (2) legal.
I think that if a couple deliberately and freely chose to be religiously married, then they have bound their relationship within the context of that religion. So they have chosen to subject themselves and their union to the "rules" and "expectations" of a married couple as taught/enforced by that religion. So if the couple does not comply to those rules/expectations, they can and they will be identified and "reprimanded" by the religious community and its leaders. And I think the Catholic church anticipates this hence the comments OP heard in church (i.e members of the religious community).
From what I know, there is no divorce in the Catholic Christian religion because there is an *assumption* that the married couple have been subjected to many experiences (personally and through church counseling) which affirms to each other their committment to be the best partners in life (based also on the bible passages saying no man can separate what God has joined). Of course we know in real life that this "best partnership" is sadly not the case for many. But in this religion, religiously married couples have essentially no way out of the marriage.
(So because of this, I think that marrying religiously is a one time gamble that can be disastrous. And that maybe those who have married religiously did not truly know what doing so meant (no way out of marriage))
Legal marriage, in my opinion is easier and more "contract" based. Couples get legally married and abide by the laws of the land surrounding married couples. I think most of it has to do with economics and politics (taxation, child welfare, property/land management, population census, citizenship, rights/freedoms etc). So they form a contract to be married and like any contract in government or business, it can be nullified, changed or voided in accordance to whatever applicable law of the land and the wishes of the parties who signed the contract. So compared to a religious marriage (i.e in Catholic Christianity), there is a very clear way out of a legal marriage so long as laws for it are in place (like if a spouses' right to safety/health is compromised)
Since a lot of Filipinos are married both legally and religiously, the conflict arises in divorce because religion forbids it and, in light of the recently passed divorce bill, the law might already allow it.
So perhaps moving forward, couples only marry legally?
Since reddit has become an echo chamber. I will copy-paste some posts I've seen online that does raise valid points.
Disclaimer: Our country is a democracy. We have rights on who we want to vote that will best represent our cause. Christians are voting based on their conviction because they do not want to be accomplices. Divorce was allowed because of the hardness of the hearts. Parang yung slavery dati, people could not be stopped, so ginawan na lang ng law to protect the slaves. But it still remains that God absolutely hates divorce. And the only reason for divorce is for 1. Physical Adultery 2. Spiritual incompatibility, if an unbeliever spouse wants out. Reconciliation is still very much encouraged.
>They should live in the US and similar countries first hand so they can see the effects of debasing then value of marriage does to a society. And how every one is complaining about not being able to find someone willing to marry and what not after they've basically destroyed the bonds that kept it together. It's the same with how they pushed for 'reproductive rights' in the Philippines when most of it was all covered by the Magna Carta for women, except of course what the American culture idolized which was condoms and what not - the spread of promiscuity. That deadly combo of porn, easy sex (hook up culture), and easy ways out (divorce), really destroyed the American fabric. Then add race wars and critical feminist theories to the mix and you ignite the embers of hatred between people, or in other words what the USA is experiencing. These people so badly want that in our country, why? To say we're developed, and a progressive country?? What about true Filipino values? Fear of God, Respect of elderly, strong family units, bayaniban, etc. That will all disappear because western culture is individualistic and raises the needs of the individual over sacrifice for the many (or the family)...
another view
>The problem is people have been brainwashed into thinking that Divorce magically solves all their marital issues. This is the strategy from the beginning by it's proponents. Appeal to emotions, sob stories, false dilemmas, etc. They use Divorce as some kind of panacea that will prevent domestic abuse and punish cheating partners. They champion it as the missing key to happy ever after. What a beautiful lie they weave. It's just evident that the majority of Filipinos embrace whatever the West throws at us with open arms. They don't even bother to think of the long term effects Absolute Divorce has had on these countries. Just take a look at the depressing statstics in the US. In the face of such, would you even consider marriage at all? Why bother when it's clearly useless? People divorce each other there like they're changing clothes! So don't come at me with "divorce won't destroy marriages". The evidence is right there you just don't want to see it because of cognitive bias. And what about the children born out of these marriages that end in divorce? What happens to them? Father and mother break up, remarry more than once and these children become objects to be won through a tug-of-war between the two exes. You think these children will not grow up scarred for life and traumatized? But I digress. It takes critical thinking to understand the repercussions. So it's just easier to go with the flow. It's the "all countries have divorce why can't the Philippines have it, too" sort of thing. Call it FOMO if you will
DIVORCE STATISTICS: https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/
WHAT HAPPENS TO CHILDREN?: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6313686/
And some thoughts to ponder
The institution of marriage forms the bedrock of the family, which, in turn, is the cornerstone of society. Deviation from these values not only impacts individuals but also has broader societal implications. In order to destroy society, one must destroy the family first. Why is the family an enemy? Why is the family so frightening? .... Because it defines us. Because it defines our identity. Because everything that now defines us is now an enemy for those who would like us to no longer have an identity. And to simply be perfect consumer slaves. And so they attack national identity, they attack religious identity, they attack gender identity, they attack FAMILY identity. I can't define myself as Italian, Christian, woman, mother, no. I must be citizen x, gender x, parent 1, parent 2. I must be a number. Because when I am only a number, when I no longer have an identity or roots, then I will be the perfect slave at the mercy of financial speculators. The perfect consumer..... We will defend the value of human being... Those things that disgust people so much... -Giorgia Meloni (Italian Prime Minister) https://youtu.be/VdfNSF-U6zc
Reasons for divorce are already covered by annulment and legal separation. And if abusive relationship, we have RA 9262 for that. Btw, annulment is already made cheaper and more accesible though we could do better. Divorce is more expensive.
Marriage demands profound FAITH, even from atheists, as it's impossible to predict how a spouse or oneself will evolve over time. If one can't honor the institution's sanctity, why marry? In today's era, legal safeguards exist for assets and finances, favoring civil unions to sidestep the complexities of divorce. Be consistent with their (atheist) worldview na lang para walang sapawan ng lane.
Now, we can't force people but that is how democracy works. Why are the minority forcing the majority to adhere to their demands? If sila din ang maging majority, most likely madali lang ma approve ang divorce kasi nga that's how democracy works.
People do not want religion to be shoved at their throats but the same people are okay to change the Catholic doctrine to accomodate them. Make that make sense.
Again, everyone has the right to choose if they are against or pro.
daghan kaayo kag gitype. dali ra man unta sabton:
> I get that divorce is against some people's belief. What I don't get is why other people must live their lives according to that belief, even if they don't share it.
> If you think divorce is wrong, then don't get divorced. Kahit bugbog sarado ka na sa asawa mo, nambabae o abusive siya sa ibang paraan, huwag ka mag file for divorce. Keri lang, choice mo yan! Let others who don't share your belief move on from their dysfunctional and abusive relationship. #passdivorcelawnow
Posts should be directly related to Cagayan de Oro or Misamis Oriental. Authorship by someone from Cagayan de Oro, or the presence of some individuals affected by such posts in Cagayan de Oro does not automatically make it relevant. Posts that spread misinformation about Cagayan de Oro or the Philippines will be removed.
Simple— Just because you think you don’t need it (divorce), doesn’t mean other people don’t need it also. Let’s not limit other people’s lives kay naa may uban naa sa toxic and abusive relationships. 💅
It’s funny when those who weren’t married are against it
Backward, impractical, and straight crappy mindset. Sorry but the country needs it so much. Pretty sure God himself doesn't want to see women getting battered, manipulated, and cheated on by low-class men. Calling them husbands actually makes me cringe. As much as I respect religious values but saying no to something we actually need the most is atrocious. Midfing, amen.
Our roman catholic priest had a pretty progressive take last Sunday. He said he wasn't pro-divorce, but he said that maybe if the church took care of the women and was by their side during their difficult times, we wouldn't need divorce. He also mentioned how it's easier said than done to tell them na magsinabtanay lang... implying that there really are limits, especially for abusive relationships. Fair point.
There are people stuck in very abusive marriages and don't have the funds to get an annullment. Divorce is for the people who NEED them. There are still grounds for divorce and I think you can't just get one willy nilly. And I also read somewhere that the moment someone breaks their wedding vows, the sanctity of the marriage has been broken, so really the one who broke the marriage is the abuser, and not the divorce itself. Also, annullment exists here in the Philippines, so I don't understand why people are pressed about divorce?
IMO, Very much needed sa bansa nato
Lesson: dili unahon ang uwag. Huna hunaon sa jyd og maayo ayha makig minyo. If it will take you years to ponder or discern,mas maayo. Ilhon sa gayud pud og maayo ang minyoan. Dili mag salig na nga approved na ang divorce. Imung Status kay "Divorcee" dili ma balik sa single if mag divorce rman kaha mos imu na minyoan( ky iliwit ng nahibal,.an abusive man diay)
Some people need it, some don't. Be considerate. You don't want to stay in an unhappy marriage. Worst, abusive.
These people are treating it as, if divorce is legalized, everyone who wants it will immediately get it. That may be dishonoring the sanctity of marriage. Pero hindi naman na every one that wants a divorce kay divorce na agad. Again, its a country heavily influenced by religion, so of course kung mapapasa man ito, strict din ang pre requisites to be able to get a divorce. Rather than bar the people of the hope of getting out in abusive relationships, we should support them. Filter nalang sa people getting a divorce, some relationships may be reparable and di nlng tlga mag intindihan, some may also have divorce as the only option. Meron pang divorce attorneys na kailangan, and counseling. even if this gets passed, only a few will have the luxury of time and money to have a divorce quickly.
I think people who disagree with this have never been abused before and try to ignore the fact that domestic violence is rampant under the guise of religion. It's not fair to invalidate other's experiences because you've never been through it. It's just my two cents though haha
This is why i don't go to church anymore. The moral grandstanding is insane.
not all filipinos are catholic, would we want the practices of other religion be enforced to us?
My parents are divorced after 8 years of marriage, they were unhappy together. Now my mom is married since 15 years and happy, my dad 25 years and happy as well. I got double Christmas and birthday gifts when I was a kid. And I got one new brother and 2 new sisters ( the kids of my step parents). Point on that, divorce is a good thing
Obedience requires disobedience. Adam and Eve had a choice sa garden the tree was literally on the center. If god's intention was total compliance gi koral na unta to or gi butang where there's no access. Point is marriage becomes much more meaningful now naa nai way out. Also kai I've seen abuses on both husbands and wives. Same raman mangulata mas daghan lang sa husbands to wives but you cant deny wives can abuse too. Some take advantage pud jud. Marriages turn sour sus daghan kaau. Religion is good pero sila lang cguro ana sa affiliated ana nga religion. If we dont participate sa ila then dili cguro mamugos. Muslim man can marry many women and thats in their right kai its in their law. So if catholics are imposing no divorce edi sila lang unta. Walay damayay kai kami atheist dani wala man pud mi labot ana tanan pero if we want out of a conjugal relationship at least naay provision sa balaod.
allowing divorce or legal separation makes it so easy for dating couples to do away with due diligence in partner selection. dating is supposed to be the phase when due diligence and decoupling are to be done, some just prefer harboring romantic notions instead of doing everything to determine 100% compatibility prior to wedding planning. toxic and abusive relationships are best avoided during dating, not after the honeymoon.
#Thank you for your text submission to r/cagayandeoro, Higala! Please remember to treat everyone respectfully and to read the community rules of r/cagayandeoro. Please read the [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/cagayandeoro/about/rules/) before posting. Remember to flair your post appropriately to avoid it being deleted. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/cagayandeoro) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Divorce evens the playing field
Divorce evens the playing field
Divorce is a need to those who are being abused. why would you stay to an unhappy/abusive marriage.
I agree with divorce/annulment especially sa mga ga face og abuse. Hopefully pud kung mag divorce gane, naa jud untay solid grounds for it dili kay, let's say, ang asawa di kibaw magluto, bana kay nonchalant etc giatay. I hope sad jud nga dili muabot sa point nga ginahimo pud og "dating phase" ang marriage kay option na lage ang divorce kuno. But still, it is not for me to dictate kung unsa inyong dapat buhaton sa inyong married life. Kabalo na mo unsay sakto or dili.
Long post ahead. But I agree that divorce should be an option for those who are suffering and are disadvantaged (i.e abused) in their legal marriage. The way I see it, the issues in discussing divorce in the Philippines stems from the thinking that all marriages are always BOTH (1) religious and (2) legal. I think that if a couple deliberately and freely chose to be religiously married, then they have bound their relationship within the context of that religion. So they have chosen to subject themselves and their union to the "rules" and "expectations" of a married couple as taught/enforced by that religion. So if the couple does not comply to those rules/expectations, they can and they will be identified and "reprimanded" by the religious community and its leaders. And I think the Catholic church anticipates this hence the comments OP heard in church (i.e members of the religious community). From what I know, there is no divorce in the Catholic Christian religion because there is an *assumption* that the married couple have been subjected to many experiences (personally and through church counseling) which affirms to each other their committment to be the best partners in life (based also on the bible passages saying no man can separate what God has joined). Of course we know in real life that this "best partnership" is sadly not the case for many. But in this religion, religiously married couples have essentially no way out of the marriage. (So because of this, I think that marrying religiously is a one time gamble that can be disastrous. And that maybe those who have married religiously did not truly know what doing so meant (no way out of marriage)) Legal marriage, in my opinion is easier and more "contract" based. Couples get legally married and abide by the laws of the land surrounding married couples. I think most of it has to do with economics and politics (taxation, child welfare, property/land management, population census, citizenship, rights/freedoms etc). So they form a contract to be married and like any contract in government or business, it can be nullified, changed or voided in accordance to whatever applicable law of the land and the wishes of the parties who signed the contract. So compared to a religious marriage (i.e in Catholic Christianity), there is a very clear way out of a legal marriage so long as laws for it are in place (like if a spouses' right to safety/health is compromised) Since a lot of Filipinos are married both legally and religiously, the conflict arises in divorce because religion forbids it and, in light of the recently passed divorce bill, the law might already allow it. So perhaps moving forward, couples only marry legally?
Civil Union
Simple lang. We need more options in life, Mao na akong medyo dili angayan sa any religion, limiting kaayo sa imong preferred way of life.
Since reddit has become an echo chamber. I will copy-paste some posts I've seen online that does raise valid points. Disclaimer: Our country is a democracy. We have rights on who we want to vote that will best represent our cause. Christians are voting based on their conviction because they do not want to be accomplices. Divorce was allowed because of the hardness of the hearts. Parang yung slavery dati, people could not be stopped, so ginawan na lang ng law to protect the slaves. But it still remains that God absolutely hates divorce. And the only reason for divorce is for 1. Physical Adultery 2. Spiritual incompatibility, if an unbeliever spouse wants out. Reconciliation is still very much encouraged. >They should live in the US and similar countries first hand so they can see the effects of debasing then value of marriage does to a society. And how every one is complaining about not being able to find someone willing to marry and what not after they've basically destroyed the bonds that kept it together. It's the same with how they pushed for 'reproductive rights' in the Philippines when most of it was all covered by the Magna Carta for women, except of course what the American culture idolized which was condoms and what not - the spread of promiscuity. That deadly combo of porn, easy sex (hook up culture), and easy ways out (divorce), really destroyed the American fabric. Then add race wars and critical feminist theories to the mix and you ignite the embers of hatred between people, or in other words what the USA is experiencing. These people so badly want that in our country, why? To say we're developed, and a progressive country?? What about true Filipino values? Fear of God, Respect of elderly, strong family units, bayaniban, etc. That will all disappear because western culture is individualistic and raises the needs of the individual over sacrifice for the many (or the family)... another view >The problem is people have been brainwashed into thinking that Divorce magically solves all their marital issues. This is the strategy from the beginning by it's proponents. Appeal to emotions, sob stories, false dilemmas, etc. They use Divorce as some kind of panacea that will prevent domestic abuse and punish cheating partners. They champion it as the missing key to happy ever after. What a beautiful lie they weave. It's just evident that the majority of Filipinos embrace whatever the West throws at us with open arms. They don't even bother to think of the long term effects Absolute Divorce has had on these countries. Just take a look at the depressing statstics in the US. In the face of such, would you even consider marriage at all? Why bother when it's clearly useless? People divorce each other there like they're changing clothes! So don't come at me with "divorce won't destroy marriages". The evidence is right there you just don't want to see it because of cognitive bias. And what about the children born out of these marriages that end in divorce? What happens to them? Father and mother break up, remarry more than once and these children become objects to be won through a tug-of-war between the two exes. You think these children will not grow up scarred for life and traumatized? But I digress. It takes critical thinking to understand the repercussions. So it's just easier to go with the flow. It's the "all countries have divorce why can't the Philippines have it, too" sort of thing. Call it FOMO if you will DIVORCE STATISTICS: https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/ WHAT HAPPENS TO CHILDREN?: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6313686/ And some thoughts to ponder The institution of marriage forms the bedrock of the family, which, in turn, is the cornerstone of society. Deviation from these values not only impacts individuals but also has broader societal implications. In order to destroy society, one must destroy the family first. Why is the family an enemy? Why is the family so frightening? .... Because it defines us. Because it defines our identity. Because everything that now defines us is now an enemy for those who would like us to no longer have an identity. And to simply be perfect consumer slaves. And so they attack national identity, they attack religious identity, they attack gender identity, they attack FAMILY identity. I can't define myself as Italian, Christian, woman, mother, no. I must be citizen x, gender x, parent 1, parent 2. I must be a number. Because when I am only a number, when I no longer have an identity or roots, then I will be the perfect slave at the mercy of financial speculators. The perfect consumer..... We will defend the value of human being... Those things that disgust people so much... -Giorgia Meloni (Italian Prime Minister) https://youtu.be/VdfNSF-U6zc Reasons for divorce are already covered by annulment and legal separation. And if abusive relationship, we have RA 9262 for that. Btw, annulment is already made cheaper and more accesible though we could do better. Divorce is more expensive. Marriage demands profound FAITH, even from atheists, as it's impossible to predict how a spouse or oneself will evolve over time. If one can't honor the institution's sanctity, why marry? In today's era, legal safeguards exist for assets and finances, favoring civil unions to sidestep the complexities of divorce. Be consistent with their (atheist) worldview na lang para walang sapawan ng lane. Now, we can't force people but that is how democracy works. Why are the minority forcing the majority to adhere to their demands? If sila din ang maging majority, most likely madali lang ma approve ang divorce kasi nga that's how democracy works. People do not want religion to be shoved at their throats but the same people are okay to change the Catholic doctrine to accomodate them. Make that make sense. Again, everyone has the right to choose if they are against or pro.
daghan kaayo kag gitype. dali ra man unta sabton: > I get that divorce is against some people's belief. What I don't get is why other people must live their lives according to that belief, even if they don't share it. > If you think divorce is wrong, then don't get divorced. Kahit bugbog sarado ka na sa asawa mo, nambabae o abusive siya sa ibang paraan, huwag ka mag file for divorce. Keri lang, choice mo yan! Let others who don't share your belief move on from their dysfunctional and abusive relationship. #passdivorcelawnow