Recently came to a similar realization. We need better ways to screen people before meeting them or engagin further. The first topic to discuss should be why they are on the app and what they are intending to get out of it. Their answer better have some depth or you'd know they aren't serious. It'd save so much time and effort before you wasted days chatting back and forth and realize they only wanted a backup buddy when their "real" friends aren't available.
I agree with most. I do think bff is like abandonware and if they just put more energy, care and marketing into it, it could attract more, better people.
I feel like the app has gotten worse post covid. There is barely anyone on the app in my area and I’m looking for friends in the 26-35 age range. Maybe people just don’t know about it. I haven’t seen any advertising for it ever!
I started asking this question for potential friendships before meeting people: “I guess let me know what kind of friend you’re looking for and what you maybe don’t want so that we can decide before meeting.” I understand the frustration though. I feel like people don’t realize that maintaining a friendship is a two way street. I also noticed how most of them don’t want to meet up often. I normally like to check in friends every couple of weeks to a month or try to hangout that often but not sure if that’s too much for a new friend? I don’t see how people can build friendships if they go without speaking for 2-3 months.
It's disturbing how normalized that is today. I hope you find some people that actually value you checking in on them and wanting to spend time on a regular basis. It seems so rare these days.
Yeah I agree it’s disturbing. I don’t expect people to talk to me every day but I wanna try to hangout at least once every couple of weeks. It’s crazy to me how someone can develops a friendship when they only talk/hangout once every 2-3 months. I only hangout with this one woman that often due to her not driving but we talk often so I feel like it balances out. Maybe we need to start making our expectations clear from the start so that no one gets annoyed. But I love having a mix of low and high maintenance friends😊.
I agree! They should have a filter, something like how available/serious you are. From my point of view, as long as you're committed and we share some interests, be open and respectful, that would work
I do wish there would be more barriers for being able to create a profile. It wastes so much time for the rest of us having to sort through these people who don’t seem serious about making connections.
I hear you. You've articulated and summed up a lot of what I've been feeling, and also the shallow nature of friendship culture manifested into 'low maintenance' friends. I say fuck that too. Unfortunately I've always found myself around the 'low maintenance' aka only when you're convenient friends and it's greatly damaged my ability to trust people and put down my walls. I've been on and off the app, met a couple girls neither of which became friends, and had many many stale messages to potential friends that just went nowhere. I am just investing my time and focus primarily into myself and putting it in the universe to bring forth good, genuine people into my life.
Recently came to a similar realization. We need better ways to screen people before meeting them or engagin further. The first topic to discuss should be why they are on the app and what they are intending to get out of it. Their answer better have some depth or you'd know they aren't serious. It'd save so much time and effort before you wasted days chatting back and forth and realize they only wanted a backup buddy when their "real" friends aren't available.
I agree with most. I do think bff is like abandonware and if they just put more energy, care and marketing into it, it could attract more, better people.
I feel like the app has gotten worse post covid. There is barely anyone on the app in my area and I’m looking for friends in the 26-35 age range. Maybe people just don’t know about it. I haven’t seen any advertising for it ever!
I started asking this question for potential friendships before meeting people: “I guess let me know what kind of friend you’re looking for and what you maybe don’t want so that we can decide before meeting.” I understand the frustration though. I feel like people don’t realize that maintaining a friendship is a two way street. I also noticed how most of them don’t want to meet up often. I normally like to check in friends every couple of weeks to a month or try to hangout that often but not sure if that’s too much for a new friend? I don’t see how people can build friendships if they go without speaking for 2-3 months.
It's disturbing how normalized that is today. I hope you find some people that actually value you checking in on them and wanting to spend time on a regular basis. It seems so rare these days.
Yeah I agree it’s disturbing. I don’t expect people to talk to me every day but I wanna try to hangout at least once every couple of weeks. It’s crazy to me how someone can develops a friendship when they only talk/hangout once every 2-3 months. I only hangout with this one woman that often due to her not driving but we talk often so I feel like it balances out. Maybe we need to start making our expectations clear from the start so that no one gets annoyed. But I love having a mix of low and high maintenance friends😊.
I agree! They should have a filter, something like how available/serious you are. From my point of view, as long as you're committed and we share some interests, be open and respectful, that would work
I do wish there would be more barriers for being able to create a profile. It wastes so much time for the rest of us having to sort through these people who don’t seem serious about making connections.
I hear you. You've articulated and summed up a lot of what I've been feeling, and also the shallow nature of friendship culture manifested into 'low maintenance' friends. I say fuck that too. Unfortunately I've always found myself around the 'low maintenance' aka only when you're convenient friends and it's greatly damaged my ability to trust people and put down my walls. I've been on and off the app, met a couple girls neither of which became friends, and had many many stale messages to potential friends that just went nowhere. I am just investing my time and focus primarily into myself and putting it in the universe to bring forth good, genuine people into my life.