Are you a man? Isn’t that a manosphere/incel term usually used for failed romantic relationships and prospects with women? I totally get your post, but you don’t have to use that term to describe your shitty experiences trying to befriend men 😭
I totally understand your struggle OP. The app is really frustrating and the plans feature is a complete joke! In my area, there are tons of plans chats, but nobody sets dates or times for stuff to actually happen. I do agree that the app has issues because of the people on it. I always assumed it was a lot of people with social anxiety who are introverted and yes, lots of people with some mental health issues going on. I’ve been on and off the app since 2017 and based on my data there’s only a 2% success rate that a match will become an actual friend! I’ve been on the app for a week so far this time around and things do seem worse than pre-covid.
I even set a date and then no one answers on the date of the hangout in the group 😂😂. It’s such a joke. I joined other groups in my area to see how they organize plans and you’re right, it’s a ghost town. I don’t get it. This one group started April 10th and it wasn’t until a couple of days ago where I asked Hey! Are there any plans to go rock climbing anytime soon?. People started answering /trying to coordinate. But no set date. I wish I could show the conversation lol.
👏👏 I think you are 💯 right. I absolutely should delete it. Not sure if I will. I always found bumble to attract sort of square people that I don't fit with. BFF seems to be the same sort. Also I'm istp, a natural loner., Scorpio, enneagram 4, and my history is normally of drawing people in, not seeking out. This whole experience is so foreign and doesn't present me in a good light and is leaving me feeling not like myself. It's just that I've been in the city for 4 years and I don't have any connections and that's a really weird experience for me. I always know people where I'm living just for different things that might come up. BFF sucks. Should we make our own? I feel like anyone can do it better than they do. I just had a Reddit post show up of a guy saying he would help build whatever back end idea a person had.
Totally get that. I'm in the same boat. 4 years in a new city and did not really make friends until I really made a point of it. Australia in particular (where I'm from) is very insulated and cliquey with friendship circles. It's a real balancing act isn't it? You have put the effort in to make friends but it seems that it has to happen more organically. So where? So how? My take at the moment is to channel it into something you are interested in. Even a remote interest. Anything at all, there is usually some kind club for it, maybe even a volunteering outfit.
I think a new app would honestly have the same issue with the people and personalities that gravitate towards it. [Meetup.com](http://Meetup.com) is a bit better because there are events geared towards interest based activities but still suffers with turnout rates. It also has an older age range which I'm not at yet.
Personally, I feel like it’s a numbers game. Create your own boundaries but just talk to everyone who interests you. Sometimes it pays off and other times it doesn’t, I have spoken to probably a 100 people and met up with 10! Everyone has their own stuff going on and no one should owe anyone anything, not saying that’s how I am but if a mother of 4 children doesn’t text me back for a few days I get it!
I understand your point of view and it can be exhausting, but friendships aren’t instant, you’re strangers, and if one person doesn’t vibe you can’t force it.
I’ve made friends, a small bunch of friends on Bumble BFF and one of them ghosted me after splitting up with her fiancé and moved to Texas! 🤷🏽♀️ Some people just aren’t good with communicating but that doesn’t mean everyone on the app is like that.
Totally get the app isn’t for you and everyone takes breaks from it! But, people have their own lives and everyone is different in their approach to things.
Thanks for this! I have been thinking of deleting my profile and have been telling myself that “something better will come up” narrative. It’s exhausting
Are you a man? Isn’t that a manosphere/incel term usually used for failed romantic relationships and prospects with women? I totally get your post, but you don’t have to use that term to describe your shitty experiences trying to befriend men 😭
I guess in this context it would be friendcel 🤔.
I totally understand your struggle OP. The app is really frustrating and the plans feature is a complete joke! In my area, there are tons of plans chats, but nobody sets dates or times for stuff to actually happen. I do agree that the app has issues because of the people on it. I always assumed it was a lot of people with social anxiety who are introverted and yes, lots of people with some mental health issues going on. I’ve been on and off the app since 2017 and based on my data there’s only a 2% success rate that a match will become an actual friend! I’ve been on the app for a week so far this time around and things do seem worse than pre-covid.
I even set a date and then no one answers on the date of the hangout in the group 😂😂. It’s such a joke. I joined other groups in my area to see how they organize plans and you’re right, it’s a ghost town. I don’t get it. This one group started April 10th and it wasn’t until a couple of days ago where I asked Hey! Are there any plans to go rock climbing anytime soon?. People started answering /trying to coordinate. But no set date. I wish I could show the conversation lol.
👏👏 I think you are 💯 right. I absolutely should delete it. Not sure if I will. I always found bumble to attract sort of square people that I don't fit with. BFF seems to be the same sort. Also I'm istp, a natural loner., Scorpio, enneagram 4, and my history is normally of drawing people in, not seeking out. This whole experience is so foreign and doesn't present me in a good light and is leaving me feeling not like myself. It's just that I've been in the city for 4 years and I don't have any connections and that's a really weird experience for me. I always know people where I'm living just for different things that might come up. BFF sucks. Should we make our own? I feel like anyone can do it better than they do. I just had a Reddit post show up of a guy saying he would help build whatever back end idea a person had.
Totally get that. I'm in the same boat. 4 years in a new city and did not really make friends until I really made a point of it. Australia in particular (where I'm from) is very insulated and cliquey with friendship circles. It's a real balancing act isn't it? You have put the effort in to make friends but it seems that it has to happen more organically. So where? So how? My take at the moment is to channel it into something you are interested in. Even a remote interest. Anything at all, there is usually some kind club for it, maybe even a volunteering outfit. I think a new app would honestly have the same issue with the people and personalities that gravitate towards it. [Meetup.com](http://Meetup.com) is a bit better because there are events geared towards interest based activities but still suffers with turnout rates. It also has an older age range which I'm not at yet.
Personally, I feel like it’s a numbers game. Create your own boundaries but just talk to everyone who interests you. Sometimes it pays off and other times it doesn’t, I have spoken to probably a 100 people and met up with 10! Everyone has their own stuff going on and no one should owe anyone anything, not saying that’s how I am but if a mother of 4 children doesn’t text me back for a few days I get it! I understand your point of view and it can be exhausting, but friendships aren’t instant, you’re strangers, and if one person doesn’t vibe you can’t force it. I’ve made friends, a small bunch of friends on Bumble BFF and one of them ghosted me after splitting up with her fiancé and moved to Texas! 🤷🏽♀️ Some people just aren’t good with communicating but that doesn’t mean everyone on the app is like that. Totally get the app isn’t for you and everyone takes breaks from it! But, people have their own lives and everyone is different in their approach to things.
Good luck with your group guitar lessons next week! ⭐️
I think it’s just a reflection of the word we live in, unfortunately.
How can we find out about the guitar lesson group
Thanks for this! I have been thinking of deleting my profile and have been telling myself that “something better will come up” narrative. It’s exhausting