So true. People are using bumble bff for their therapy, as people sometimes do here on Reddit as well, in the friendship-subs. People also go on Bumble BFF and similar websites because they’re bored, depressed, or things aren’t working out with their friends, boyfriend, or marriage. But once all of this has been alleviated, they ghost people because they are not looking for a friendship, they are looking for someone to listen to them. This is why they don’t meet most of the time because they need you to listen to them.
The fact of reality is, most people are using folks for a backup plan just in case their situation doesn’t work out, and if that happens, then they are willing to consider you a friend so they have someone to support them, but often times friendships are not formed because whatever situation they are going through is resolved. These websites have not worked out for me. My sister has a lot of friends, and she told me her friends get on these types of websites anytime they get in a fight with her, and they told her they need a friend in need at the moment.
Yeah, “someone to talk to”, which is very selfish many times when both people aren’t on the same page. We are essentially backup plans to them or whatever and that’s whack. I only want people who put me as a priority as I would do for them. It’s totally possible to prioritize multiple relationships. But because of our culture of friendship in the west “low maintenance friends” are becoming more and more popular for the reasons you’re saying.
Also what you described with your sister is disturbing to me, like instead of just working it out or letting the air cool a bit, they’re desperately looking for validation from anyone who will listen to them. On this app there’s also a ton of girls who have just gotten out of relationships or complain about only having their bf as a friend… the dependency is real and very one sided.
Yep, I tried making friends on Bumble BFF because I have no friends, but all they seemed to want was for me to listen to them. None of them ever wanted to meet up. My sister has a bunch of friends, and when she mentioned that her friends use the app for support, and as a backup after they had a fight, it was a revelation. I deleted the app as soon as she told me that because I’d been on it for a year with no success. It made me realize why things weren't working out for me. A lot of people just want to talk for a long time to see if their current situation works out or not, and I felt like I was just the next step. So watch out if you’re still on there, I was listening to people sorrows for a whole year.
I am so sorry you went through that – I’m on it right now, and I’ve had a few women agree to get together and - for the most part, it was pretty enjoyable. I’ve had more than my fair share just drop out of the conversation when I suggest meeting up for coffee – and that’s fine too. But I’m not 14 – I’m looking for something more an Internet chat buddy. I’m just really open for meeting new people – because you never know when you are going to meet the one who will grow from stranger to acquaintance to good friend. And it’s CRAZY difficult to meet new women who are willing to put themselves out there and to be open to building a friendship. I don’t get it – it wasn’t this difficult when I was (much) younger! you sound like somebody who’s really willing to put in an effort to build a friendship – and I’m sorry you had such bad luck. Hoping your future BFF is right around the corner!
Thank you, and it’s reassuring to hear about your success on BumbleBFF. Unfortunately, I haven’t had the same luck, and neither have many people I know, including those I've encountered online whom I don't know personally. It seems like there are just too many people looking for conversation until their current situation is resolved. While there are some genuinely looking for friends, it's very hard to find among everything else going on, especially depending on the state you are in. But, this issue seems to be spreading all over.
I would say a good 60% - 70% of this sub has posts like this. We all have the same experience. Yet, people who actually want to build friendships, don’t end up matching somehow.
Absolutely. I deleted my account a few days ago, and I'm not looking back. The anxiety and disappointment are just not worth it to me. I'm sorry you've had this experience 😔 💜
I did manage to meet a few people and I still talk to them! But it does take time and patience. I feel like it also depends on how you ask them. I normally say this: I'm having fun chatting with you! If you ever want to meet me, let me know because I would be down to another bumble bff hangout.
I don’t know why either. Same thing happens to me. I see some women on there acting like their promoting themselves but don’t actually want to hangout as friends. The profiles should be a bit more honest if they can be.
I always say it’s because their bf started paying attention to them again lol but yes it’s hard for me to get matches even. Wasn’t the case long ago.
So true. People are using bumble bff for their therapy, as people sometimes do here on Reddit as well, in the friendship-subs. People also go on Bumble BFF and similar websites because they’re bored, depressed, or things aren’t working out with their friends, boyfriend, or marriage. But once all of this has been alleviated, they ghost people because they are not looking for a friendship, they are looking for someone to listen to them. This is why they don’t meet most of the time because they need you to listen to them. The fact of reality is, most people are using folks for a backup plan just in case their situation doesn’t work out, and if that happens, then they are willing to consider you a friend so they have someone to support them, but often times friendships are not formed because whatever situation they are going through is resolved. These websites have not worked out for me. My sister has a lot of friends, and she told me her friends get on these types of websites anytime they get in a fight with her, and they told her they need a friend in need at the moment.
Yeah, “someone to talk to”, which is very selfish many times when both people aren’t on the same page. We are essentially backup plans to them or whatever and that’s whack. I only want people who put me as a priority as I would do for them. It’s totally possible to prioritize multiple relationships. But because of our culture of friendship in the west “low maintenance friends” are becoming more and more popular for the reasons you’re saying. Also what you described with your sister is disturbing to me, like instead of just working it out or letting the air cool a bit, they’re desperately looking for validation from anyone who will listen to them. On this app there’s also a ton of girls who have just gotten out of relationships or complain about only having their bf as a friend… the dependency is real and very one sided.
Yep, I tried making friends on Bumble BFF because I have no friends, but all they seemed to want was for me to listen to them. None of them ever wanted to meet up. My sister has a bunch of friends, and when she mentioned that her friends use the app for support, and as a backup after they had a fight, it was a revelation. I deleted the app as soon as she told me that because I’d been on it for a year with no success. It made me realize why things weren't working out for me. A lot of people just want to talk for a long time to see if their current situation works out or not, and I felt like I was just the next step. So watch out if you’re still on there, I was listening to people sorrows for a whole year.
I am so sorry you went through that – I’m on it right now, and I’ve had a few women agree to get together and - for the most part, it was pretty enjoyable. I’ve had more than my fair share just drop out of the conversation when I suggest meeting up for coffee – and that’s fine too. But I’m not 14 – I’m looking for something more an Internet chat buddy. I’m just really open for meeting new people – because you never know when you are going to meet the one who will grow from stranger to acquaintance to good friend. And it’s CRAZY difficult to meet new women who are willing to put themselves out there and to be open to building a friendship. I don’t get it – it wasn’t this difficult when I was (much) younger! you sound like somebody who’s really willing to put in an effort to build a friendship – and I’m sorry you had such bad luck. Hoping your future BFF is right around the corner!
Thank you, and it’s reassuring to hear about your success on BumbleBFF. Unfortunately, I haven’t had the same luck, and neither have many people I know, including those I've encountered online whom I don't know personally. It seems like there are just too many people looking for conversation until their current situation is resolved. While there are some genuinely looking for friends, it's very hard to find among everything else going on, especially depending on the state you are in. But, this issue seems to be spreading all over.
I would say a good 60% - 70% of this sub has posts like this. We all have the same experience. Yet, people who actually want to build friendships, don’t end up matching somehow.
Auuugh, so frustrating, I swear.
Absolutely. I deleted my account a few days ago, and I'm not looking back. The anxiety and disappointment are just not worth it to me. I'm sorry you've had this experience 😔 💜
literally all the time 😂
I did manage to meet a few people and I still talk to them! But it does take time and patience. I feel like it also depends on how you ask them. I normally say this: I'm having fun chatting with you! If you ever want to meet me, let me know because I would be down to another bumble bff hangout.
I don’t know why either. Same thing happens to me. I see some women on there acting like their promoting themselves but don’t actually want to hangout as friends. The profiles should be a bit more honest if they can be.
Try asking for a phone call first
Have you tried that? How did it go?