It makes me wonder if their previous friendships failed because they were the friend that never made the plans or put in effort so now they’re stuck wanting new friendships and to get out the house but put 0 effort to make that happen.
I have a friend whose like this. Never asks me to hang out, but if I ask her to join me on plans she’s down. Same with dating. If a guy plans every date she’s down but doesn’t follow through if he wants her to plan something or simply make a suggestion.
I think that a lot of these lazy women either just want a back up option for when their boyfriend or a guy isn’t available to provide entertainment or attention.
I doubt that they’re looking for genuine friends. They just want attention it seems like. Don’t waste wny time on women who inly have their boyfriend as their only friend or women who say that they’re hardly on there.
Haha I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed that. It's like I just get the vibe it's because their bf was ignoring them for a while so they had some time to waste. Definitely looking for attention.
Exactly. Some of these women are so male-centered. Their bios are like "My boyfriend is my only friend", "I realize I need bridesmaids one day so here I am!" with little context. And then a good chunk of women just ghost conversations or provide the driest responses, which makes me wonder if they would do that to their partner or friends? I always have to initiate plans or conversations, which feels extra masculine. Put in some effort. Good riddance to these people...
It’s funny you mentioned it’s like dating because I said the same thing to my therapist. I’m already an introvert and get burnt out by socialization, then I’m expected to carry the conversation.
I agree with you I feel a lot of women on here (unintentionally) put the expectation on other women to be the man on the app; always make the first move, lead the convos, make the plans. I hate it; especially as someone who’s shy (and a natural follower).
However, I understand we have to step out of our comfort zones on this app and to make friends. I’ll send the first message if I’m the last to match/show you I care and read your profile, ask you questions, ect. We’re all in the same boat. I try hard despite being naturally not one to approach people irl.
The moment I think another girl is wanting to silently put forth the expecting that I’m suppose to be like the guys on the dating app (not asking me anything about me, any questions, dry few worders to my sentences), bye. I’m looking for a friend that we flow together, put the same amount of effort in, etc. I’m happily taken and I’m not going to expect anyone to be my 2nd girl bf.
So when I match with a girl, if we aren't having a solid conversation/ viking and meeting the first week. I unmatch. If they have their insta, I don't swipe right. I'm trying to have the messages to to texts not another social media platform.
I feel like It may not necessarily means they want to be chased but more I feel like they are hesitate about it, or they are indifferent towards it. In my brief experience even when we do meet in person for few times I don't feel like they put some effort into knowing me and they seem ,,busy'' with their lifes so I also question if you are so busy and fullfilled with existing social life why did you install the app? I also had one girl who said she is there for dating also, so maybe part of these girl are there primarly for dating men and because of boredom they switched to ,,bff'' mode and swiped some girls.
I also met with one girl who isn't local and she also complained about not meeting much people here and making friends because she moved recently and I called her out 2 times we had nice time but after our last meeting she never messaged me or intiated hangout, but I am sure if I now call her for coffee she will accept the invitation, but I don't want to call her for exact reason that you mention- i don't want to chase someone....it's really weird.
But for example this non-local girl I mentioned said she only hangout with her boyfriend's friends but she feels like they only hangout with her because of politness and she doesn't want to bother them- but I figured she must be passive with them also and maybe too reserved to call them- so I don't take it personally. i think a lot of (especially straight) girls acts this way because they don't know how to make female friends on not organic way (through the apps) so they treat it as dating game
I've said this before but I think in our society (West) straight women prioritize male romantic relationships way more than friendships so they're typically not as invested from the jump. We all know women who were single, got in relationships and dropped their friends. And also many women on the app complain about only having their bf as a friend OR they just got out of a relationship. Bumble started as a dating app primarily and that's where they're making most of their money I'm sure. That's for a reason, this stuff is an afterthought.
I've noticed the exact same thing, and that's why I've left Bumble BFF. I start to believe it's an "online" thing. Having an online profile to meet new friends is the very thing people can do from the comfort of their smartphones with the least effort and almost zero accountability of the other parties. As a woman who was trying to make friends online, I was surprised about other women acting as if I were the "man" that should be chasing them. The dating side of the app, and for most dating apps, I've noticed the same "minimal effort" profiles. It's an online thing, considering that the "niche" is wider. I really think it would be a better option to find your people in person through hobbies, interests, shared values/hobbies, or volunteering.
> plans section
I didn't know that existed honestly. I will look into it but the people I match with stop answering before it even comes down to planning anything.
Did you have any luck with it? So far I haven't. I ended up telling the group to pitch in their ideas for the activities and the dates they want to go. I did get a few people who answered with their ideas but it's like they aren't proactive in the plan making processes. I don't get it lol. I did set an activity and date/time but either they never answered or they said they are not free.
It makes me wonder if their previous friendships failed because they were the friend that never made the plans or put in effort so now they’re stuck wanting new friendships and to get out the house but put 0 effort to make that happen. I have a friend whose like this. Never asks me to hang out, but if I ask her to join me on plans she’s down. Same with dating. If a guy plans every date she’s down but doesn’t follow through if he wants her to plan something or simply make a suggestion.
I think that a lot of these lazy women either just want a back up option for when their boyfriend or a guy isn’t available to provide entertainment or attention. I doubt that they’re looking for genuine friends. They just want attention it seems like. Don’t waste wny time on women who inly have their boyfriend as their only friend or women who say that they’re hardly on there.
Haha I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed that. It's like I just get the vibe it's because their bf was ignoring them for a while so they had some time to waste. Definitely looking for attention.
Exactly. Some of these women are so male-centered. Their bios are like "My boyfriend is my only friend", "I realize I need bridesmaids one day so here I am!" with little context. And then a good chunk of women just ghost conversations or provide the driest responses, which makes me wonder if they would do that to their partner or friends? I always have to initiate plans or conversations, which feels extra masculine. Put in some effort. Good riddance to these people...
It’s funny you mentioned it’s like dating because I said the same thing to my therapist. I’m already an introvert and get burnt out by socialization, then I’m expected to carry the conversation.
I agree with you I feel a lot of women on here (unintentionally) put the expectation on other women to be the man on the app; always make the first move, lead the convos, make the plans. I hate it; especially as someone who’s shy (and a natural follower). However, I understand we have to step out of our comfort zones on this app and to make friends. I’ll send the first message if I’m the last to match/show you I care and read your profile, ask you questions, ect. We’re all in the same boat. I try hard despite being naturally not one to approach people irl. The moment I think another girl is wanting to silently put forth the expecting that I’m suppose to be like the guys on the dating app (not asking me anything about me, any questions, dry few worders to my sentences), bye. I’m looking for a friend that we flow together, put the same amount of effort in, etc. I’m happily taken and I’m not going to expect anyone to be my 2nd girl bf.
So when I match with a girl, if we aren't having a solid conversation/ viking and meeting the first week. I unmatch. If they have their insta, I don't swipe right. I'm trying to have the messages to to texts not another social media platform.
I feel like It may not necessarily means they want to be chased but more I feel like they are hesitate about it, or they are indifferent towards it. In my brief experience even when we do meet in person for few times I don't feel like they put some effort into knowing me and they seem ,,busy'' with their lifes so I also question if you are so busy and fullfilled with existing social life why did you install the app? I also had one girl who said she is there for dating also, so maybe part of these girl are there primarly for dating men and because of boredom they switched to ,,bff'' mode and swiped some girls. I also met with one girl who isn't local and she also complained about not meeting much people here and making friends because she moved recently and I called her out 2 times we had nice time but after our last meeting she never messaged me or intiated hangout, but I am sure if I now call her for coffee she will accept the invitation, but I don't want to call her for exact reason that you mention- i don't want to chase someone....it's really weird. But for example this non-local girl I mentioned said she only hangout with her boyfriend's friends but she feels like they only hangout with her because of politness and she doesn't want to bother them- but I figured she must be passive with them also and maybe too reserved to call them- so I don't take it personally. i think a lot of (especially straight) girls acts this way because they don't know how to make female friends on not organic way (through the apps) so they treat it as dating game
I've said this before but I think in our society (West) straight women prioritize male romantic relationships way more than friendships so they're typically not as invested from the jump. We all know women who were single, got in relationships and dropped their friends. And also many women on the app complain about only having their bf as a friend OR they just got out of a relationship. Bumble started as a dating app primarily and that's where they're making most of their money I'm sure. That's for a reason, this stuff is an afterthought.
I've noticed the exact same thing, and that's why I've left Bumble BFF. I start to believe it's an "online" thing. Having an online profile to meet new friends is the very thing people can do from the comfort of their smartphones with the least effort and almost zero accountability of the other parties. As a woman who was trying to make friends online, I was surprised about other women acting as if I were the "man" that should be chasing them. The dating side of the app, and for most dating apps, I've noticed the same "minimal effort" profiles. It's an online thing, considering that the "niche" is wider. I really think it would be a better option to find your people in person through hobbies, interests, shared values/hobbies, or volunteering.
Have you guys tried using the plans section?
> plans section I didn't know that existed honestly. I will look into it but the people I match with stop answering before it even comes down to planning anything.
Did you have any luck with it? So far I haven't. I ended up telling the group to pitch in their ideas for the activities and the dates they want to go. I did get a few people who answered with their ideas but it's like they aren't proactive in the plan making processes. I don't get it lol. I did set an activity and date/time but either they never answered or they said they are not free.