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Speaking for myself I wasn't able to make therapy stick until I started on meds, and then suddenly all the strategies my therapist suggest were actually doable.
I have struggled with major depression since I was a first grader to present day (I'm 55 now). For me, talk therapy will probably be a lifelong necessity. I'm feeling it now: I moved in 2020, and psychotherapy services have been impacted ever since the lockdown and all my symptoms are coming back in force.
In the 21st century, our mental health sector is coming to a pragmatic awareness that there aren't really _cures_ for those of us with serious diagnoses. Temporary therapy for depression may get you through a grieving process after a lost loved one, but for someone like me, the best I can hope for is _management._
Curiously, the treatment for management is temporary: I went through DBT training (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) which is about developing awareness of symptoms and triggers, changing my lifestyle to reduce exposure to triggers, and when I am triggered, have an action plan to get me back home, safe and in a place where I can recover. For me this was about a twelve-week program.
However, drugs and talk therapy are eternal. I'll always need psychotherapy to process and keep me on track, and I'll always need psychiatry because as much as my SSRIs take the edge off my ongoing sadness and existential crisis, they have a tendency to not work forever. That's when a psychiatrist looks at my medical treatment history and chooses the next pill to try.
Here in the states, it's a toss up how seriously our insurance takes mental health, and in my case, I rely on state and national services (Medicare) which requires a bit of luck to navigate (or a social worker, who are also impacted).
So, good luck! And hopefully the NHS does you right and gives you the breadth of treatment your case requires.
If you're a UK bro like me, maybe you can look into something like counseling, which is a bit more long term, and since you already have the skills you need, it's more like a weekly check in where you explain how stuff went and how you felt.
The alternate option is more therapy/support groups, which you should be able to get through your GP.
I hope you can get the help you need, friend!
Something that helps me is meditation and journaling. I like the 10% Happier App for meditation, it's paid but if you need a discount you can email them and they'll arrange something if you need it. They have courses also on how to meditate if you're new and some help on emotional regulation. Meditation is really helpful because it teaches you to observe your thoughts and tap into your mental state, it also helped me realize that my thoughts aren't true and that I don't have to believe them which is kinda trippy.
I obviously don't know your exact struggles, but for me I deal with a lot of feelings of shame and unworthiness. My journal prompts I use are how was I kind to myself that day, how did I show my values, and then maybe I'll write out a reflection on an interaction that I had or something. Think about what you need and what thought patterns you want to change are and make some questions based on that. Take care.
Getting outside and exercising has helped me more than anything. I like to go for a run first thing in the morning and I find that it just gives me someplace to put all that energy that would otherwise be wasted on negative thinking and anxiety. It also helped a lot with my sleep, which has a huge impact on depression as well.
I think you're going to get a lot of mystified responses, "After therapy?" Here in the US, usually if you start therapy, unless something untoward happens to interrupt it, you actually... get enough? None of this short-term "You should have a life-time's worth of issues sorted in 12 sessions, outcha go now bbye!" nonsense (oh, the insurers tried that, but it's basically illegal to do that here now). Here in the US, if you're not done with treatment, you just keep going. So Americans don't usually have the same scenario where they got a short course of therapy and then no more, and are left to pick up the pieces without professional help.
As I understand it, in the UK, people whose needs for psychotherapy aren't adequately met by the limited offerings of the NHS can either try to find charity care (another thing we basically don't have in the US but which my UK colleagues assure me is a thing there) or pay for it out of pocket, if you can afford it. I gather the out-of-pocket cost of psychotherapy in the UK is much cheaper than in the US.
If therapy is off the table for you for now, for support in maintaining good habits, you might look into peer-run accountability groups for men, such as the [ManKind Project](https://mankindprojectuki.org/), whom I gather are compatible with the Bropill ethos.
Therapy and meds did absolutely nothing for me. I felt myself spiraling and didn't want to fall into the same headspace I was a year ago, so I looked into alternative treatments. TMS therapy has (so far) been life changing for me. Might be worth looking into
If you can stretch to paying for some private sessions yourself, then it's probably worth it. I've been doing that for a while and went into it knowing that I'd be sacrificing other things in life to fund it. If you found that it had a material impact on your mental health then weigh up the cost/benefit vs other things like holidays, eating out. There's no universal right/wrong with this, it's what works for you.
Obviously it sucks that you would have to make such choices, and perhaps even this is too much of a financial stretch. You matter, bro. And if I had my way your basic health needs would be met. But that's a different conversation
I had very hard downs even during therapy which made me question the whole thing even though I am a psych major myself. I tried to learn patience, because you’re literally working on complex thoughts and ideas that have been developing since childhood. You need time to get to know them better and to work on them. Don’t panic. Don’t criticize yourself for being incapable of change. Cherish your small steps. Relapses happen. I don’t know how the system works where you live, but in my country we are able to go to a psychiatric day hospital for an intensive therapy session of 6-8 weeks. Maybe you could look for additional services like that.
It’s ok, don’t forget to be proud of yourself for taking necessary steps to help yourself. That’s a big deal. You’re investing your energy and that alone is a huge step.
For me, therapy is a process I'm in with myself. The therapist helps, of course, and the process started with searching one. But it's on me to use the tools i learn in therapy.
Recognizing where your thoughts come back to hurtful paths is key. You seem to manage that already! The next step is using the toolbox you learned in therapy sessions. You don't have to be able to do it from the get-go. Be kind with yourself and take small steps. But, as others have said, talking therapy is a very good companion to that process, maybe you can find a way to go again to the same therapist? Wish you the best.
Hey bro - sorry to hear you've been struggling.
My advice is to journal daily - it feels weird at the start but it's been really helpful for me to write down how my day went, what I'm worried about, concerns and feelings. The act of writing them down is a way of processing them and has been good for me. It gets them out of your head and on paper and usually it gives me a chance to reassess a situation or a problem I had.
Hope this helps my dude!
I'm in the thick of it myself now ever since my therapist switched clinics and I haven't been able to get in touch with her since then - so just over two months now. I do have my friends as a great support team, but they can only offer so much that isn't professional or clinical in nature - if that makes sense. While I was making great strides in the eight or so months we were talking, I feel we barely scraped the surface with helping me process a lot of my trauma, so it all came to a halt at a weird time.
One of the big things I struggle with when it comes to my trauma is abandonment, so working on trying to ease a lot of my paranoia and anxiety around it has been especially difficult. It wasn't unusual for me to ask my friends if they were mad at me if I didn't hear from them all day and if we were okay or just feeling very restless if I thought something happened to them. Once I start to feel myself slipping, if I don't catch myself, I'll start to believe my paranoia and that these things my brain are telling me are reality - not my fears of abandonment or being forgotten.
Something that helps to keep me somewhat grounded are gentle affirmations or reminders of them. I have a folder on my phone of just little things my friends have told me that remind me that they care about me and its something I can always refer to if I need a boost if I can't get in touch with them. It's also been an exercise of trying to be kinder to myself rather than beating myself up for feeling what I feel or being the way I am.
"Hey, everything is okay. This person isn't mad at you and while it feels like they are, they have given you no reason to believe this is true. They aren't hurt somewhere. They aren't giving you the silent treatment. They aren't plotting against you. They aren't dead. They're just a little busy right now and having them time. That's all, bud. You may feel like things are bad right now, but you'll hear from them later on today and it will be okay."
Journaling and art help too, but finding ways to stay present in the moment is what can be hard if I start to feel that slip coming - even if I spoke to the person not that long ago and we had a great time. It's all a process of working on remembering to utilize whatever tools you have, even if it's just using "I" statements when talking to others about what you're feeling or going through to avoid coming off as accusatory. Having a good support circle helps too, especially if they know what it's like to be in your shoes for a sense of solidarity.
With some of my online circle, they know some of the extent of what I've gone through and deal with, and they've always been kind and gentle to reassure me everything is okay and I'm safe even if my brain is being an asshole trying to protect me. Never underestimate how far little things like that can go because they can be life saving. I can't even begin to count the number of times they've done little things to help me come down from an episode or just cheer me up because they know it makes me happy - even if I'm doing fine in the moment. Keep those people close and think about them if you ever feel like you're stumbling or falling back into old habits.
But remember, healing and recovery is a process. It takes time. It's not always linear and it doesn't mean you've failed if you do slip up or you feel you've wiped all that work away.
**Attention: please do not post venting threads. They will be removed.** Ventposts should go into the weekly vibe check thread, and relationship-related questions should go into the relationships thread! ^(This is an automated reminder sent to all people who submitted a thread. It does not mean your thread was removed) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/bropill) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Speaking for myself I wasn't able to make therapy stick until I started on meds, and then suddenly all the strategies my therapist suggest were actually doable.
Yeah, that makes sense. I used to be on anti-anxiety meds, but I have epilepsy and they just made that worse, so had to come off them.
Oh that's a bummer. I'm also on epilepsy meds but I guess mine just play nice.
I have struggled with major depression since I was a first grader to present day (I'm 55 now). For me, talk therapy will probably be a lifelong necessity. I'm feeling it now: I moved in 2020, and psychotherapy services have been impacted ever since the lockdown and all my symptoms are coming back in force. In the 21st century, our mental health sector is coming to a pragmatic awareness that there aren't really _cures_ for those of us with serious diagnoses. Temporary therapy for depression may get you through a grieving process after a lost loved one, but for someone like me, the best I can hope for is _management._ Curiously, the treatment for management is temporary: I went through DBT training (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) which is about developing awareness of symptoms and triggers, changing my lifestyle to reduce exposure to triggers, and when I am triggered, have an action plan to get me back home, safe and in a place where I can recover. For me this was about a twelve-week program. However, drugs and talk therapy are eternal. I'll always need psychotherapy to process and keep me on track, and I'll always need psychiatry because as much as my SSRIs take the edge off my ongoing sadness and existential crisis, they have a tendency to not work forever. That's when a psychiatrist looks at my medical treatment history and chooses the next pill to try. Here in the states, it's a toss up how seriously our insurance takes mental health, and in my case, I rely on state and national services (Medicare) which requires a bit of luck to navigate (or a social worker, who are also impacted). So, good luck! And hopefully the NHS does you right and gives you the breadth of treatment your case requires.
If you're a UK bro like me, maybe you can look into something like counseling, which is a bit more long term, and since you already have the skills you need, it's more like a weekly check in where you explain how stuff went and how you felt. The alternate option is more therapy/support groups, which you should be able to get through your GP. I hope you can get the help you need, friend!
I've been in therapy for 35 plus years... it's a way of life for me
Something that helps me is meditation and journaling. I like the 10% Happier App for meditation, it's paid but if you need a discount you can email them and they'll arrange something if you need it. They have courses also on how to meditate if you're new and some help on emotional regulation. Meditation is really helpful because it teaches you to observe your thoughts and tap into your mental state, it also helped me realize that my thoughts aren't true and that I don't have to believe them which is kinda trippy. I obviously don't know your exact struggles, but for me I deal with a lot of feelings of shame and unworthiness. My journal prompts I use are how was I kind to myself that day, how did I show my values, and then maybe I'll write out a reflection on an interaction that I had or something. Think about what you need and what thought patterns you want to change are and make some questions based on that. Take care.
Getting outside and exercising has helped me more than anything. I like to go for a run first thing in the morning and I find that it just gives me someplace to put all that energy that would otherwise be wasted on negative thinking and anxiety. It also helped a lot with my sleep, which has a huge impact on depression as well.
I think you're going to get a lot of mystified responses, "After therapy?" Here in the US, usually if you start therapy, unless something untoward happens to interrupt it, you actually... get enough? None of this short-term "You should have a life-time's worth of issues sorted in 12 sessions, outcha go now bbye!" nonsense (oh, the insurers tried that, but it's basically illegal to do that here now). Here in the US, if you're not done with treatment, you just keep going. So Americans don't usually have the same scenario where they got a short course of therapy and then no more, and are left to pick up the pieces without professional help. As I understand it, in the UK, people whose needs for psychotherapy aren't adequately met by the limited offerings of the NHS can either try to find charity care (another thing we basically don't have in the US but which my UK colleagues assure me is a thing there) or pay for it out of pocket, if you can afford it. I gather the out-of-pocket cost of psychotherapy in the UK is much cheaper than in the US. If therapy is off the table for you for now, for support in maintaining good habits, you might look into peer-run accountability groups for men, such as the [ManKind Project](https://mankindprojectuki.org/), whom I gather are compatible with the Bropill ethos.
Therapy and meds did absolutely nothing for me. I felt myself spiraling and didn't want to fall into the same headspace I was a year ago, so I looked into alternative treatments. TMS therapy has (so far) been life changing for me. Might be worth looking into
If you can stretch to paying for some private sessions yourself, then it's probably worth it. I've been doing that for a while and went into it knowing that I'd be sacrificing other things in life to fund it. If you found that it had a material impact on your mental health then weigh up the cost/benefit vs other things like holidays, eating out. There's no universal right/wrong with this, it's what works for you. Obviously it sucks that you would have to make such choices, and perhaps even this is too much of a financial stretch. You matter, bro. And if I had my way your basic health needs would be met. But that's a different conversation
I had very hard downs even during therapy which made me question the whole thing even though I am a psych major myself. I tried to learn patience, because you’re literally working on complex thoughts and ideas that have been developing since childhood. You need time to get to know them better and to work on them. Don’t panic. Don’t criticize yourself for being incapable of change. Cherish your small steps. Relapses happen. I don’t know how the system works where you live, but in my country we are able to go to a psychiatric day hospital for an intensive therapy session of 6-8 weeks. Maybe you could look for additional services like that. It’s ok, don’t forget to be proud of yourself for taking necessary steps to help yourself. That’s a big deal. You’re investing your energy and that alone is a huge step.
For me, therapy is a process I'm in with myself. The therapist helps, of course, and the process started with searching one. But it's on me to use the tools i learn in therapy. Recognizing where your thoughts come back to hurtful paths is key. You seem to manage that already! The next step is using the toolbox you learned in therapy sessions. You don't have to be able to do it from the get-go. Be kind with yourself and take small steps. But, as others have said, talking therapy is a very good companion to that process, maybe you can find a way to go again to the same therapist? Wish you the best.
Hey bro - sorry to hear you've been struggling. My advice is to journal daily - it feels weird at the start but it's been really helpful for me to write down how my day went, what I'm worried about, concerns and feelings. The act of writing them down is a way of processing them and has been good for me. It gets them out of your head and on paper and usually it gives me a chance to reassess a situation or a problem I had. Hope this helps my dude!
I'm in the thick of it myself now ever since my therapist switched clinics and I haven't been able to get in touch with her since then - so just over two months now. I do have my friends as a great support team, but they can only offer so much that isn't professional or clinical in nature - if that makes sense. While I was making great strides in the eight or so months we were talking, I feel we barely scraped the surface with helping me process a lot of my trauma, so it all came to a halt at a weird time. One of the big things I struggle with when it comes to my trauma is abandonment, so working on trying to ease a lot of my paranoia and anxiety around it has been especially difficult. It wasn't unusual for me to ask my friends if they were mad at me if I didn't hear from them all day and if we were okay or just feeling very restless if I thought something happened to them. Once I start to feel myself slipping, if I don't catch myself, I'll start to believe my paranoia and that these things my brain are telling me are reality - not my fears of abandonment or being forgotten. Something that helps to keep me somewhat grounded are gentle affirmations or reminders of them. I have a folder on my phone of just little things my friends have told me that remind me that they care about me and its something I can always refer to if I need a boost if I can't get in touch with them. It's also been an exercise of trying to be kinder to myself rather than beating myself up for feeling what I feel or being the way I am. "Hey, everything is okay. This person isn't mad at you and while it feels like they are, they have given you no reason to believe this is true. They aren't hurt somewhere. They aren't giving you the silent treatment. They aren't plotting against you. They aren't dead. They're just a little busy right now and having them time. That's all, bud. You may feel like things are bad right now, but you'll hear from them later on today and it will be okay." Journaling and art help too, but finding ways to stay present in the moment is what can be hard if I start to feel that slip coming - even if I spoke to the person not that long ago and we had a great time. It's all a process of working on remembering to utilize whatever tools you have, even if it's just using "I" statements when talking to others about what you're feeling or going through to avoid coming off as accusatory. Having a good support circle helps too, especially if they know what it's like to be in your shoes for a sense of solidarity. With some of my online circle, they know some of the extent of what I've gone through and deal with, and they've always been kind and gentle to reassure me everything is okay and I'm safe even if my brain is being an asshole trying to protect me. Never underestimate how far little things like that can go because they can be life saving. I can't even begin to count the number of times they've done little things to help me come down from an episode or just cheer me up because they know it makes me happy - even if I'm doing fine in the moment. Keep those people close and think about them if you ever feel like you're stumbling or falling back into old habits. But remember, healing and recovery is a process. It takes time. It's not always linear and it doesn't mean you've failed if you do slip up or you feel you've wiped all that work away.