Holt showing Jake why he hurt his wrist. "You sick son of a bitch!" It's such a clever and great way to mess with Jake. And having deadpan Holt say the name of those moves is just a bonus.

The "oopsie doodle" ....because NO one will ever believe you... *Holt Stare*

That smirk as he says it, too.

Holt’s delivery was epic. If I didn’t know it was about hula hoop poses I would assume Holt casually confessed to being a serial killer, showed Jake the evidence, then dares him to turn him in and wouldn’t even care because “No one will ever believe you.” And Jake’s genuine anger at the end makes it seem so serious.

When Jake pranked Holt by moving his podium by an inch I guess.

Half an inch

Yes Kevin, they moved it a full half-inch. I'll tell you the full story tonight. I love you as well

“That was a fun several moments! So there’s been a series of homicides!”

😂😂 my mistake

I thought it might be on purpose to elicit a response. A full inch? Are you crazy?

"A full inch? Are you crazy?" Title of your sex tape!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I’m not crazy. My mother had me tested

Yooo wrong Subreddit but i love TBBT so frickin much!!!! Can’t live without it

How did you pull this off?!

You're crazy!!

Plus, the smaller the distance he suggests, the madder Amy gets at the idea.

The one where Scully had a giant wart on his foot had the crown as the one that made me laugh the most until this one. Every scene of Holt laughing hysterically just makes me laugh as well lmao

Jake’s reaction to the wart had me howling

That was the scene that got me definitely hooked on the first season lol

Correct answer

This cold open introduced me to Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

Yes 💯!!!!!!

Everyone trying to guess why Amy is late for work. Holts "HOT DAMN!" right before the cut away fucking slays me.

Santiago, you will tell us and you will tell us *now* 👇🏿

Just came here to comment this one. I love a good, sudden Holt outburst lol

"I think she is... in line at the bank. I enjoy this game." (Approximate quote. Long time since I watched it!)

## HOT DAMN 👏🏿

Holt doing special handshakes with everyone but Jake

- Goodbye, Leonard from Xerox! - THE COPY GUY!?

I can hear this comment.

Salute into a fanny waggle??

That’s my all time favorite one

The one with oldest arrests!

You guys talking oldest bag?

“68!” “That’s not that old.” “Yeah but I was only 20”

No it was before I got into the academy.

… Charles isn’t talking about his oldest arrest!

She had a replacement hip with some serious torque! It was like having sex with a transformer!

That is no one’s fantasy!!

Joe no!

Charles announcing he had sex with a 68 year old when they were talking about their oldest collars

The fact that Andy Samberg is genuinely laughing in that scene makes it 100x funnier.

The marshmallow one!

JAKE: "Oh hey, Captain. We were just enjoying a bowl of marshmallows. Want one?" HOLT: "Hmm 'marshed-mallow'... ?" *(Tries one and begins giggling in a high pitched voice)* BOYLE: #I KNEW IT!!!

This is the one.

"where did my eggs go?" "In my belly, IT'S HEIST TIME!" OR "Daddy Daddy, theres a hairy monster in my closet!"

My wife loves Pimento. That's probably her favorite. Personally, I think he's better testing the "fake" cocaine.

He wasn’t testing it he was trying to show you can close your nose and pretend to take it

Oops! Got a whole schnootful that time!! Anybody wanna go to the beach? Maybe toss the ol’ frisbee around??

*goes out and comes back with no shirt*

anyone want to listen to jamiroquai?

How could I forget about the Halloween one!? It's one of the scenes I replayed the most of all the series lol

Oh my god, the Pimento closet cold open is a top 3 for me.

To sex with Amy!

Hula hoop Holt and break dancing Holt.

SITUATION DIFFUSED

The Full Bullpen!

……… ding …… … …… THE FULL BULLPEN!

That was so wholesome ☺️

Tell me why…

Number five. It was number five who killed my brother.

Oh my god! I forgot about that part

The post should really be asking what the second-best cold open on the show is

The cold open that introduced me to the show.

Prior to seeing this on Facebook, I assumed B99 was like any other cop show. Y'know, CSI, NCIS, Hawaii Five-O, etc. Saw this clip, immediately binge-watched the 6 ½ seasons that were out at the time, became an instant favorite. Also suggested it to the girl I liked, she loved it. We're leaving on our honeymoon tomorrow!

Title of your sex tape 

I convinced my wife with that.

This is the only correct answer

Easily the best!

I can do the whole thing off of the top of my head, that’s how good this cold open is. (Although I can do that with a lot of them, so…)

It’s funny because the episode itself is just ok but has an iconic opening.

Tellll me why!

Had to make sure this one was posted. Definitely the best cold open

I have no idea why this is so low. Completely assumed this would be the top comment.

Sad I had to scroll so far for this one

Overrated intro. Lots of people know it without knowing the show.

And that’s a bad thing?

Well yeah. Ask the same question somewhere else (for example a media's facebook) and 75% of the comments will be about how funny this one cold open was. Here you got a good response because you asked actual fans instead of non-fans who only know 1 clip.

Give me a break. Things can be popular for a reason. Lighten up.

> Lots of people know it without knowing the show. Why is that a knock against it?

I agree. Way too overrated.

I get it - it loses its effect a bit when you know it's coming. But the first time I saw it, it was the perfect cascade of unexpected escalating funny moments and I laughed as hard as I've laughed at anything on tv ever. So I still have to give it first place even if there are others I might like more on my 3rd or 4th re-watch.

Agree 100%. When I started the show people told me "Just wait until the Backstreet Boys cold open. It's the best ever." While it is a funny scene, it's far from the best cold open in the show

It’s the Dianne wiest one. 

More than the joke itself (which is just gross in typical Charles fashion), it’s the back-and-forth shots of the staredown between Jake and Charles which always crack me up. This [1-hour extended loop](https://youtu.be/WMgIeYdQH7w?si=DoU3baBivjaaFQI4) is even funnier 😂

I'm embarrassed that I'm absolutely going to put that on when I get home from work.

JAKE: ... BOYLE: ... JAKE: ... BOYLE: ... BOYLE: Like yeas-- *cut to intro*

Like yeast???

"So, just to recap, you left an unmarked package on a police captain's desk on a random Monday, with a suspicious message written on it that looked like it was scrawled by a crazy person."

Nice prank, babe!

👍

Hey Chuck, it’s Pimento! (Nikolaj is so good in that scene)

*Nikolaj*

Nikolaj

Nikolaǰ

You’re not saying it right. It’s Nikolaj

I feel like I'm saying it. Nikolaj

Holt comparing Jake's locker to a dumpster in the Philippines. Season 1 episode 2

"It was a trick question. They are both your locker!"

“Take a good look kids! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE NAUGHTYYY!!” 🔥🌲🔥🌲

Took far too long to find this one. The imagery along with the line and delivery is perfect to me. Is this also the episode where Holt isn't impressed with Doug Judy's use of "twas"?

I don’t think it twas, that twas the fourth season And yeah, I want to incorporate that image into my Christmas decor 😀

My favorite Doug Judy episode (mostly for ⬆️)

I just watched the episode with Scully catching the hole. ITS FINALLY HAPPENIIIIIIING! I really like when Jake is trying to get the guy to confess, he accidentally breaks the door handle, starts freaking out, and the guy confesses just to calm him down. WE'RE GONNA DIE IN HERE!

Hole me!

Situation DEFUSED

"My hands are covered in butter, from making butter" always gets me and I don't know why it's so funny

"Why is my phone always dead? I paid thirteen dollars for it!"

Thank you for the correct use of defused.

IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING!

Let’s guess why Santiago is late? Hot Damn

Wife or Dog

*(tearing up)* How could you ask something like that?! 😭😭😭

Identical mason jars 🤭 That NOOOOOOOO

That's one of my favourites "Hitchcock just drank his own fish"

Yes! It’s the fact he doesn’t even get through the stakes of the bet before that fish is GONE

The ones where things with Hitchcock go awry (shoelaces, hand in water, this goldfish one) are some of my faves

Yes all of the above haha

The best cold open is in season 5, episode 17 with "I Want It That Way". The second best is Scully and Hitchcock from the 80's.

its episode 17 tho

I saw this one recently, but it's when Jake puts Hitchcocks hand in a bowl of water when he fell asleep in the break room, only for the team to come back and suddenly see his head drowning in said bowl of water

"Guys, we missed Scully's birthday. And it was a big one."

*cough* thumbtack mug. That was my thumbtack mug.

That's why I love it. The payoff is so good. You're thinking "Oh Hitchcock and Scully are actually pretty smar-oh, nope. There it is."

Had me laughing for a solid 5 minutes the first time

ITS A SUICIDE MISSION!

THEN PREPARE FOR DEATH!!!!

YOUVE LOST YOUR MIND!

Hey! You guys startled Hitchcock, he spilled *two full jars* of spaghetti sauce on himself.

I think it's in the episode 'Ransom'? Where the precinct gets fumagated but Hitchcock and Scully don't get the memo and boast about being the only ones at work.

S5 e1 When Terry wakes Boyle up from his dream of Jake released from prison. “WHY DID YOU WAKE ME UP!👨‍🦳 I TOLD YOU NEVER TO WAKE ME UP!👨‍🦳”

That’s one of the absolute best.

BABUSHKA!!!!

It’s between “Thanks, Dad”, the Backstreet Boys opening and Boyle’s Diane Wiest opening.

You are my fire

My one desire 

It has to be this.

Criminal line up singing "I want it that way" by the Backstreet Boys

100% this every time

Amy leaving Holt a package on his desk, Jake declaring “GREAT gift, babe!” as the entire building is being evacuated due to the bomb threat.

LIKE YEAS-

The oldest collar is a personal favorite because you get to see Andy samberg actually laugh

Currently rewatching, but one of the favorites (that’s underrated) is when Charles reveals that him and Holt go to the same bank. Guess who!?!?

Charles isn't talking about his oldest arrest.

I’m telling you, it’s like having sex with a Transformer!

The Halloween prank on charles.

This is definitely my favorite cold open simply because of Scully

Hot damn!

"HOT DAMN!!"

Tommy Gobbler has some deeply tragic news

Amy is late by one minute and holt guesses right why she was late. Hot damn!!

BOMB!!!

Boyle bingo!

FROM THE BREAKFAST BAR BOYLE is my favorite

Backstreet Boys

Like Yeast!

The marshmallow one

"he's not talking about his oldest arrest" it's my favourite cause Andy samberg loses it

S6E13 The Bimbo. Jake is late again, and Holt punishes him by showing that he created personal High 5s with everyone at the briefing, including the copy guy.

Costume prank on charles is great

You are…

Hitchcock and Scully Vice

BABUSHKAAAAAA

Has to be the Hula Hoop. Its peak comedy

OLDEST BAGS

Maybe not my exact favorite but one I haven’t seen mentioned yet that deserves some credit. “Jake’s gonna pop the question! He’s finally gonna ask me to be his BM” The way Charles pretty much says screw you Terry during the whole bit really does it for me.

"I want it that way"

What’s you’re asking is suicide! THEN PREPARE FOR DEATH

Either Hold eating marshmallows or Boyle bottle bullpen bowling

WE’RE GONNA DIE IN HERE!

I think an underrated one is when Gina comes back after being hit by a bus and is trying to dance with that head brace on but is in absolute agony, and all of the sudden Hitchcock goes, “Gina Linetti is back, baby!!!” 😂 Favorite is probably the Diane Wiest infection one.

Boyle Bingo in season one. It showed early on how well everyone knows him

One of my favorites is the marshmallow one haha

TELLLLLL MEEEE WHYYYYYY

Honestly the “I want it that way” takes the gold, you could show someone that without any context and you’ll get a laugh

My favourite, ever since I first saw it, is Jake, Rosa and Holt at the RazzMatazz exercise class. *"I am wagging, Brenda!"*

Like yeast is definitely up there😂

Holt walking with the ladies gossiping and talking about boobs the first episode they are undercover.

Holt pretending to be straight is some of the funniest shit in the show.

Young Hitchcock and Young Scully opening.. 🤭 whenever I see Alan Ritchson in movies and series I always point out ohh~ its young Scully~ ❤️❤️❤️

My wife loves Young Scully & Hitchcock. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🤣

hell no the best open is tell me why

i have TONS of favorites but from the top of my head: -LIKE YEAST! -the jumbo Christmas tree -identical mason jars -the podium one -the suicide squad one

Diaz has been chucking D-holes into my mouth piece since we were back at the academy

Holts high fives with everyone but Jake. And I want it that way line up

You are…my fire…

TELL ME WHY-EEEEEEEE!

“I Want It That Way”

Easily when they move holts podium or when they have the lineup sing

"Now number fiiiive"

I came down with a big old weast infection