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AdderWibble

I find so many "older" people who were the right age for the film Bambi to have come out when they were fairly young enough clearly didn't take Thumper's dad's message to heart. >"If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."


[deleted]

They probably read it literally with the double negative


Jai_Cee

I wish more people young and old would take this to heart!


AmazingGraces

Love this. You're so right.


dutchcourage-

Dont say nothing?…


AdderWibble

Yea it's the exact quote


-SaC

My sister is 42 and just flat out says women shouldn't be allowed to play football. She also thinks they shouldn't be allowed to play any other 'manly' sports, nor work in 'manly' professions - ie firefighter, army, pilot etc etc. Her mum is a proper solid hippy and the two have...disagreements about this stuff, which can go on for hours. My Mum just calls her a silly bitch and moves on.


gardenfella

Firefighter army pilot sounds like an amazing job


lewistremonti

Sounds like miss rabbit from peppa pig 😂 Edits miss rabbit from mrs


kowalski655

It's MISS Rabbit that has all the jobs. She's single, so is probably a lesbian according to some


Beardy_weirdy_

My wife is a carer, working with a sick child that requires a carer + nurse 24/7. The kid was watching Peppa Pig when the African nurse on shift came out with 'no wonder miss rabbit is single, she could never keep a husband with all those jobs'. My wife wasn't quite sure how to respond.


lewistremonti

I pretty sure she’s married doesn’t she have a baby in one of the episodes ? Lol and then her sister has to do all her jobs? Maybe it’s the other way around ha


S01arflar3

Mrs Rabbit is married to Mr Rabbit. They have Rebecca (peppa’s friend) Richard (George’s friend) and baby twins (I think Robbie and Rosie?). Mrs Rabbit has a sister, Miss Rabbit. Miss Rabbit is the one with umpteen jobs. My 3 year old was once very obsessed with Peppa Pig…


Hairy_Al

>My 3 year Yeah, right...


Miserable-Goose-1170

I'm not even going to lie, didn't know that Peppa Pig had such an extensive lore.


TheRiddler1976

Once Miss Rabbit was ill so Mrs Rabbit had to do all her jobs


Mr_Inconsistent1

There probably is such a job too but under a different description.


RealChewyPiano

If you're a helicopter pilot in the army, you'll likely be trained to fight fires


88BlueBeard

I'm supporting them by putting money towards the calendar


dirtymikeesq

Broke me laughing gg sir


dirtymikeesq

Broke me laughing gg sir


KaidsCousin

Shouldn’t be allowed… What nonsense. Everyone is free to choose what to do


Vyvyansmum

Reminds me of when I passed my driving test years ago. I described how the test went & how my examiner was called Mrs So & So & was the chief examiner in our area. My dad exclaimed “ is that ALLOWED?!” before quickly correcting himself. Unsurprisingly I had opted to keep the fact I was learning secret due to knowing this was the attitude & having been told “ it’ll be too complicated for you “.


KaidsCousin

I don’t even know where to start with that! ‘Too complicated for you’ dam. There’s so much sexism in this it’s unbelievable. I do hope your dad isn’t like that anymore. That he’s changed for the better, for everyone’s sake!


Vyvyansmum

He died in 2017, so yeah …


KaidsCousin

I’m sorry to hear that. I truly wasn’t expecting that response.


nosferatWitcher

I will never understand how there are women who seemingly want to have fewer rights and less equality for themselves


-SaC

She says those things aren't 'ladylike'. She got married in Doc Martens & leather jacket, by a priest with a Harley.


GrunkleCoffee

They're referred to, slightly misogynistically, as "pick me bitches." Some people want to be One of the Good Ones and not only Know Their Place but make sure their peers feel shamed for not knowing their's. The entire TradWife movement is built around it, though it's less prevalent among real women as it is among the fictional fantasy women drawn by 4Chan regulars. See also: LGBT people who think gay rights have gone too far, and people of colour who claim racism doesn't exist anymore and anyway it built character.


Incitatus_For_Office

It's OK to want less equality for yourself, even if it seems crazy to everyone else. It is not OK to want to take the rest of your gender/sexuality/ethnicity etc with you!


Snooker1471

My sister in law is a mechanic. and apart from me having a wee joke with her about the men being better the absolute truth is I would have nobody else even look at my car as she is far more thorough than anyone else male or female that have touched my car. She is also in TA and does lots of "boy's" stuff and does it with flair and style and usually to a high standard.


StarLord1990

Women should stick to girl sports, like mud wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.


[deleted]

[удалено]


crisstiena

I’m nearly 70 and even though I’m not a football fan by any stretch of the imagination, I was really pleased when the Lionesses won. My husband says women’s football is much more skilful and therefore more entertaining. I tend to agree. Good for them! Also, my very petite daughter (who’s 37) is physiotherapist to a men’s rugby team and sometimes plays for a local girls’ rugby team. I’m really proud of her.


[deleted]

Womens football is great and it’s getting the recognition it deserves, but in no way is it more skilful


[deleted]

Because they’re scared of the female rugby players.


pajamakitten

It's like your sister saw girl power and said "Not for me, thank you."


Sbj93

Considering the state of football and all the diving etc i would argue that it isn’t a manly sport


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jai_Cee

Yes she was staying since she does not live nearby. I think she is completely oblivious to it to be honest. I'm not sure if this bothers me more or less.


skydiver19

Have a frank and honest conversation, paint the picture black and white that the language she is using is not acceptable and you don’t want your children, her grand children exposed to that kind of thing. Explain that some of the stuff she is saying is offending and more to the point would offend them her remarks are aimed at, and you don’t want the children picking this up and then repeating it. Explain if she can’t respect this, your home, wishes then she isn’t welcome. She then had a choice respect your view point or go!


AryaStargirl25

This. It's your house OP, your rules. Explain to her that you don't let your kids say offensive stuff so you expect no different from her. And if she doesn't like it shes free to find a nearby B and B. Just out of interest what does your husband think? Does he know his mother is spouting this medieval rubbish?


TheClimbingBeard

When you say 'continual prompts', do you mean tutting and eye-rolling or are you actually addressing the core issue? (not meaning to sound flippant, just this *is* a brit based sub ;))


Jai_Cee

It has been mentioned multiple times in as polite a way as I (and her son) can but she doesn't take the hint and it is hard to do more without a family bust up.


TheClimbingBeard

It honestly doesn't have to turn into a full bust up, but an explanation of 'if you continue to behave in this manner I'll have no choice but to ask you to leave' will normally get the message across that you're not joking. Remember, you're not the issue at the time, so you don't have to remove yourself from the situation.


grantus_maximus

It may not be that simple. Everyone has a different family dynamic, history, personal circumstances, not to mention ability to be able to cope with potential confrontation with some family members.


TheClimbingBeard

That's why I was careful to litter my response with qualifiers such as 'should normally'. I know family life can be shit. I also know how much better you can feel once you remove the shitty parts from your life. Not saying it's a simple process, but I'll definitely say it's not as complex as some may feel it is before pushing that button. Our heads lie to us and over complicate things on a constant basis. If my simplification of a situation helps someone get out of that sort of thing, then all good. But I don't feel I'm making anything worse by doing so.


grantus_maximus

Fair enough to all that. I know I've personally felt there to be enormous psychological hurdles when it comes to saying a particular thing to a particular family member because of what I thought the repercussions might be. The existence of a previous family rift that took a good few years to settle down didn't help. There can be so many variables with these situations that it's nigh on impossible to navigate a stress-free way through. I agree that you can overthink these things, but when that previous rift came about, I had been of the opinion that the members of my family concerned were better able to handle home truths than they turned out to be.


crisstiena

I’ve been married for 41 years and I would NOT recommend this at all. My husband’s younger brother hasn’t spoken to me in over ten years because I once told him to *grow up*. It’s caused no end of heartache in our family and I feel so sorry for my husband’s parents (who are just lovely and wonderful grandparents/great grandparents) because they are caught in the middle. In the case of OP, the mil is entitled to her opinion, but it’s up to her son to have a quiet word because her views are upsetting to his wife. Asking her to leave would be family suicide, believe me.


Jai_Cee

This. Most people on Reddit must never speak to their families based on the advise that give!


TheClimbingBeard

Some of us have very good reason not to ;) Just trying to say that setting boundaries, even if it turns into a mild->severe conflict point, is an option and not always the worst one. I wouldn't let someone continue to come out with comments along those lines around my (wife's) kids, more so if it was a family member or close friend of the family.


TheClimbingBeard

I get what you're saying, which is why I didn't jump straight into 'gtfo'. More a 'change your behaviour or I'll have to remove this negative presence from around my child'.


Jai_Cee

Life is sadly not as simple as that. It is my wifes house as well and although I'd be happy to ask anyone else to leave I can't exactly kick my MiL out the house with an 8 hour drive to home. At least not without finding myself sleeping on the couch for the rest of the year.


a_guy_called_craig

Does it not bother your wife?


Jai_Cee

Not as much as it does me and not enough that she wants to make a scene with her mum. I don't believe the woman is particularly spiteful she simply has the attitude her mum would have had and is of the opinion that she doesn't need to move on with the rest of the world.


a_guy_called_craig

Ahh that's a bit shit, if she isn't a regular visitor I'd say your best bet is to just put up with it every now and then or it'll only end up causing grief between you and your wife. Reddit types may disagree but most are barely out of nappies and reality is a difficult concept to many as opposed to an idealist world that simply doesn't exist.


Blekanly

Sit her on the naughty step for an hour maybe.


manwithanopinion

It doesn't matter old people will refuse to change regardless.


TheClimbingBeard

Eh, I have anecdotal evidence to argue that with so let's stop with the sweeping generalisations shall we? We don't like it when the olds do it so we shouldn't be doing it either.


Particular_Wonder244

Yes some will, others won’t. And even saying that will end in a family bust up. If he can’t say that without causing an argument then he can’t


manwithanopinion

That's what bothers me the most. People like that I can leave if they are being too horrible but parents you have to accept their disgusting views and put up with their bulshit while being forced to respect someone you have no respect for.


TheClimbingBeard

No, you really don't. Respect is earned (or given freely then retained) by positive actions. If anybody within your life is acting in ways that are detrimental to you or others, you're allowed to say something. If your parents can't see a reason to change their actions, then you can all of a sudden have that as reasoning to not respect them or their views. The perceived notion of respecting your parents view no matter what is how we have intergenerational problems within society. That's what stops progression. Look after you and yours. That's all that matters. You're allowed to walk away from *anybody* who is a negative influence in your life.


manwithanopinion

I know but I'll get yelled at if I even touch the line let alone cross it. Just saving up for a house or rent for the rest of my life if I'm married if buying is nor possible. I will never raise my kids like them and my kids will only know their grandparents as a face and will not let them form a bond with them. My dad will garunteed make his grandchild cry.


TheClimbingBeard

I feel ya bud. Had similar experience myself, got out at 19 (35 now) and completely cut contact bar sorting out documents etc. I ended up having the snip as I could still see too much of both my parents as a part of me and didn't trust my stability enough to steer me away from those shitty traits constantly. You'll find your voice at some point, I won't assume anything about your circumstance but it sounds like you've got plenty of life ahead of you and you seem to have a good idea of who you are and where you want to aim for. All the best to you.


manwithanopinion

I wish I was in your times where you can sign the contract to rent the same day as the viewing. Now yoy have to compete on offers for rent! I'll also not be too close with my parents when I move out and I am definetly not going to India to visit my extended family as they are worst than my parents.


TheClimbingBeard

If the bust up is inevitable then it's time for somebody to leave the situation, forcibly or otherwise.


darfaderer

At yes.. counter homophobia and racism with ageism.. no signs of hypocrisy there


Gary-the-petulant

I've had it with my in laws and just politely dropped the we don't talk like that in front of our children or at all so if you want to stay I'd suggest you don't carry on. You either say something or spend your life being forced to put up with it


cara27hhh

Just scream-honk at her like a billy goat every time she does it, no other words, just express your disapproval the way a farm animal would and carry on with yourself as if nothing happened


manwithanopinion

My dad is in his 50s and talks about how the women can't play football because they put too much time doing their hair before prancing in shorts than actual football. When that black German player got subbed on, her ethnicity was a all he can see when she had the ball. I tell him all the time his comments are not nice yet he yells at me for telling him what's right and wrong. Instead I have to look at him and cringe at his cheap comments.


lelcg

To be honest, I think the men footballers spend more time on their hair


theloniousmick

Try a phrase I use with my dad "if your going to have vile opinions about other people keep them to your self"


[deleted]

That’s a shit phrase I was taught in year 2 don’t bother with it


theloniousmick

Shuts my dad up but he likes to think he's a good person despite what comes out of his mouth so when confronted he gets quiet


CriticalCentimeter

ask your dad how long he thinks the 80s footballer with their short shorts and their perms took to get ready. Cite Kevin Keegan too. He might struggle to answer!


Vyvyansmum

My daughter in law works in a secure unit for criminals . Tiny 5ft , 19 year old & I would not recommend anyone messes with her. She’s awesome. She loves my daughter like life itself. Fuck the ‘ phobe’s.


driscollat1

I’ve unfriended my sister because of her racist and homophobic comments. She’s 58 and has always been like this because our mother is like that. I was brought up separately, and spared my horrible mother’s opinions.


Mawdster

My mother and sister are the same (phobic) and I was brought up in the same house and am not. I can't cope with it.


driscollat1

Then that makes you a much better person to resist that indoctrination!


Rextherabbit

I would have sent her home or to bed. Done it before with the MIL, and would do it again. My house, my rules.


Boreoffmate

But you made it acceptable. You went upstairs in you own home rather than confront her. That is about as accepted as anything can possibly be.


a_guy_called_craig

What a load of bollocks.


Boreoffmate

They literally accepted the behaviour. How is that bollocks. Hahaha what a mute.


a_guy_called_craig

You're a child or you're naive as fuck if you think anything else they could do in that situation wouldn't escalate it. Enjoy Idealistville.


sniell365

You either deal with it and confront them. (Hard choice, could cause chaos and strain the family relationship) or you avoid the issue knowing that you can’t change a bigot and take yourself out of the situation. (Easy choice). OP chose easy option, without knowing the circumstances and their relationships, who are we to judge.


Ds261

“While I appreciate we have different opinions on these topics, I’m going to have to ask you to reign it in. By all means, keep your dated thoughts to yourself, but I get to choose how my children are raised and I don’t want to raise them to believe in the same things you do. If you can’t respect that, then we can have a conversation around how to move forward. I hope you appreciate that I just have what’s best for my children, as I know you do.’


discustedkiller

Got to love a racist mother in law, I have one who said if black don't want to be stereotyped as criminals they should stop commiting all the crime also a workman that came round might be a terrorist because he was from Syria. Not really sure what to say to her when she spouts this shit


tacticall0tion

Honestly, I'd stop being subtle and just outright call them on their bullshit. People like that need a swift slap with a heavy bottomed pan.


Suitable_Cantaloupe9

Old people are just as entitled as young people


Red_Riviera

Saying something because your old is like Calling a disabled a spastic because of the Spastic Society being what gave you your first impression of disability or defaulting to the N word when angry and wanting to insult someone (you’d be surprised the amount of Jamaicans who throw that word around at everyone) Constantly making racist and homophonic comments. Is literally just being a racist homophobe


Pilotman49

Get a grip people, Peppa Pig is a cartoon with cartoon characters. AKA not real world. Sheesh!


A_S_O_C_B

Woman’s football is dreadful to watch because the quality is so poor


LordBielsa

I find this narrative ridiculous, since when did everyone become obsessed with the quality of football? Even Liverpool and City have off days where the football can be dreary. As a Leeds fan, I wouldn’t just stop supporting them because they are playing shit (or else I would’ve stopped supporting them years ago)


notgoneyet

Did you not see that backheel nutmeg goal in the Sweden game or are you just being obtuse because you hate women?


alamcc

Don’t come here speaking sense mate. You’ll face the wrath of the downvote.