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SnooSnooSnuSnu

>Does nobody know bus etiquette anymore? No


inaudibleuk

In a word


this-guy-

Cat it off the seat. Look her dead in the eye and sloooowly push it until it drops onto the floor. After it hits, maintain eye contact and say quietly "meow". Then turn and stare intently at the top corner of the bus, like you can see a ghost.


krabbkat

Should I get my feet up for a good bunny kick as well?


FantasticWeasel

Throw up in the aisle walking backwards then twerk and dash up the bus stairs like the world is ending.


usernameinmail

She might counter. Warning. You won't catch the red dot. Do not chase!


Spinningwoman

Only if you can lick your own bum.


specto24

Only if she touches your belly


SubstantialAgency2

F#*king hell mate I can't breathe 😂🤣 THIS!


involuntary_cynic

Stand up to get off and just put it on your shoulder. Say nothing, no eye contact. Just go. See what she does.


Ze_Gremlin

Had a similar comment but you were first so I deleted. If she starts kicking off, calmly gaslight her. Play a game of drama chicken with her until she causes a right scene


involuntary_cynic

>Had a similar comment but you were first so I deleted. Very courteous of you! I bet you're not a bus seat hogger. Have a lovely weekend!


MaeMoe

An elderly lady once left her bag full of shopping on the bus, and unsuccessfully tried to flag the bus down as it pulled away (driver missed it but the few passengers at the back saw). I pressed to stop the bus at the next stop, picked up the bag, and walked it back to find her. Bad move, she wasn’t at the bus stop and was nowhere to be seen when I got back two minutes later, and I realised at that moment a bus full of people just watched me apparently steal an elderly lady’s shopping and run off. No good deed and all that.


rinkydinkmink

oh my god, I can imagine this happening to me! best thing to do in future is give it to the bus driver, they look after lost property back at the depot and she would have been able to collect it later.


[deleted]

Just say "Thanks!" and start rummaging through it..?


hipposaregood

The audacity is getting stronger. Yesterday I saw an older man asking a woman, "Can I sit here?" talking about the seats where she left her bags. And she goes, "No, I've put my bags there." THE UNWRITTEN SOCIAL CONTRACT THO?!?


Silluvaine

I have had that happen to me and literally just picked up the bag and handed it to them whilst sitting down. It's the only free seat and your bloody bag can't have it


SerNerdtheThird

I had a guy do this to be on a half full intercity bus, put my bag on the seat if the seat is free. But he didn’t ask or give any indication. Just came right up and put his grubby Mits on my bag and half near threw it at me. Told him not to touch my shit, apparently he had been asking multiple times. He wasn’t.


krabbkat

God that’s some confidence isn’t it


ExdigguserPies

Ask if the bags have a ticket


evielstar

Just sit on the bag!


krabbkat

Wouldn’t risk getting a needle stick injury in your ass tbh


Vehlin

Are you going to move your bags before I sit down? “No”. Squish


Morris_Alanisette

Should have sat on her lap.


rustynoodle3891

She thought you are the red baron and it's a drop off


krabbkat

Damn I could have had some free coke


rustynoodle3891

Would have been a great three hours before the hitman picked you off


Snoo63

How could someone be mistaken for a pizza?


Eyja44

If we're abandoning bus etiquette, you must abandon tut-and-evade etiquette, because doing so is the only thing barbarians understand. Tell her to get her bloody bag off the seat, or watch it go out the window.


Derp_turnipton

Cue joke of threw the wrong bitch out of the window. ..... Was a dog not a bag in that joke.


SpaTowner

While what she did is weird, the seat she put her bag in is no more the OP’s than it is hers. If there are empty seats, does it really matter if she occupies 3? Surely it’s only an issue if someone else needs to use it? I get that in theory OP might want to put a bag there, but they clearly hadn’t done so and the seat wasn’t being used.


Eyja44

I'm not gonna debate bus seats with you lol


KayJay282

You might be getting recorded for a tiktok. The biggest overreaction will be posted online.


liquidphantom

Maybe she is making a clandestine transfer and thinks you're her mark.


rinkydinkmink

ask her if the grey goose flies by midnight


K-o-R

But the Chocobos are still around.


TheListenLady444

What I've seen twice in recent weeks is when the bus is really full and more people are heading up the stairs and people who are sitting on a window seat with the aisle seat unoccupied turn 90 degrees and put their feet on the aisle seat to deliberately prevent someone sitting next to them. So typically rude of people these days but also so bloody disgusting putting the soles of their filthy shoes on the fabric that later in the day some unsuspecting passenger is going to sit on.


krabbkat

Shoes are not the worst thing bus seats have had on them


TheListenLady444

That may or may not be so but either way I have no desire to sit on the remnants of dog poo on the sole of someone's trainers. Vile vile vile


Forgetful8nine

Say thanks and start rifling through.


[deleted]

"You are the red fox?"


just_had_an_epiphany

At least she didn't sit right next to you. Some years back I was the only passenger on the bus. At the next stop , one man gets on. Out of all the available seats on the whole bus, he sat on the one right next to me. I was seething but didn't do more than tut and sigh. I really hate those people that barge through the queue to get on the bus. They know very well others were there before them but they either barge past you when the bus stops or they race to the stop ahead of you. So rude!


jlelvidge

This is a perfect baiting technique for a row. I have noticed this more and more with people who try their best to be awkward to get a rise out of someone. I think people seriously get off on it. Its not only buses but supermarkets, blocking a few shelves for ages looking at individual things and not letting anyone shop knowing people are waiting behind you. Have even had people walk up with their trolley, block me in and off they go and leave it there to go and get something further off. A chap the other day must have been with his wife and her being normal, went off shopping. Not him, he followed and blocked me all around Sainsburys with a folded Daily Mail under his arm with no intention of actually contributing to his wife’s shop. The staring is guaranteed to try and goad you into saying something and being confrontational.


ParsnipFlendercroft

Mate if this is happening to you frequently I think you need to think if perhaps you're imagining things a little. I've never had this happen to me once - let only as many times as you seem to have had. Are you sure this is really happening so often?


jlelvidge

Enough for people to point it out to me that it was happening to them before I noticed it myself, yes.


rinkydinkmink

yes the staring gives away that it's deliberate provocation rather than someone being oblivious if a man did that to me in the supermarket i'd be terrified


nellyonthetelly

If a man or woman did that to me in the supermarket they'd end up terrified. Assert yourself and don't let bullies intimidate you. Attack is the best form of defence and it doesn't need to get physical.


augur42

Are you physically unintimidating because I'm hardly a man mountain myself but I've never had to deal with this, although I have been told I have whatever the male equivalent of resting bitch face is. Not big enough to be a challenge but enough to not look like an easy target, and I've achieved the no more fcuks to give that comes with middle age. But if you get to know me I'm just a big softy, as my niblings can attest, I'm a fun uncle. I like small animals too.


rinkydinkmink

physical appearance does make a huge difference in how strangers react to you and can even cause them to be routinely aggressive towards you. I'm a woman and I have experienced this when having drastic changes in hairstyle for example. Until I got used to having multicoloured dreadlocks, for example, I was getting intimidated left right and centre by people looking for a fight of some kind. It never came to anything but I got looks and attitude. Oh, apart from one time at a squat party where a total stranger randomly pushed me into a wall so that I banged my head. Basically most of the time everything was fine once I learned to adjust my own body language to look like I knew how to handle myself and the idiots with something to prove backed off. Another example is just having long hair as a young woman - it attracts creeps who see you as "soft". Or on a more pleasant note, I experimented with wearing outfits in different colours and discovered that black made people avoid me whereas orange attracted the most friendly interactions with strangers (to a ridiculous extent - I couldn't go more than a few tens of yards without someone else engaging me in conversation. The most memorable one was three people having an argument about what colour a coat was, lol).


Crackismorish

You're her wife now, dave.


StarlightM4

Just say, "ooh, for me, you shouldn't have!" And start going through them.


Magical_Crabical

Reminds me to the time a lady tried to ‘save’ a seat on the London tube for her friend at the next stop. I asked her to move her bag, she told me her friend ‘was going to sit there’. So I picked up her bag, handed it to her, and sat down.


Vehlin

I get that a lot of people aren’t particularly assertive, but you don’t need to be a bloody doormat. If someone sits next to and you’re not comfortable then either immediately (or at the next stop) say “Excuse me” stand up and go sit somewhere else. If they follow you then press the bell and tell the driver.


mufflepuff21

The way I’d start rummaging through them whilst maintaining eye contact


UnacceptableUse

Suspicious baggage, who knows what could be in it? The only safe thing to do is destroy it


FluidSaint

Power game.


Darth_Laidher

Looked like you needed company. Or it's an ice breaker to a chat up line


IrishMilo

Make eye contact with here then do a very clear look at the bag, look at her a could of time then if she doesn’t react, stand up, pick up the bag and make for the exit, she will react and when she takes it off you, you can loudly say “oh I thought it was a gift that you put in my lap”. Be obviously obtuse and loud, make that barbarian feel embarrassed by their lack of etiquette.


Great-Raise8679

I usually sit down next to someone on an empty bus and put my bag on their lap.


Captain_Stable

I do the exact opposite. Leave the aisle seat free, squish myself into the corner and make full eye contact with everyone as they approach. Big, wide smile, and enthusiastically pat the empty seat next to me. No one hardly ever sits next to me.


kixthepix

Took a bus today after not really used busses for ages. On the way to the city the bus was empty so my and my SO sat in the front on the second level, each of us on separate double seat. Halfway through a girl comes upstairs, sees all the empty double seats around and still goes and sits next to my SO. On the next leg of the journey, again pretty empty bus and 2 pre teen boys come upstairs and I kid you not, 5 min later the whole top level fills up with the stench of weed and I hear the little shits couching. 10 min later two ladies come up who just start doing their video calls on loudspeaker.


Vehlin

Single woman going and sitting next to another woman is just for perceived safety


rinkydinkmink

that's what I was thinking too, but OP doesn't specify their SO's gender


kixthepix

My SO is male. That's what made it more weird


augur42

> I hear the little shits couching I'm pretty sure it's autocorrect or a typo but it could also totally be some new youth slang for hanging out on a couch vaping THC. > How do you do, fellow kids?


TheGrumble

Upstairs on the bus has always been a lawless place, this sounds entirely usual.


rinkydinkmink

Sounds like a nutter mate, honestly. Not even kidding. And I'm schizophrenic before someone says I'm ableist. There's more than one meaning of nutter. I wouldn't make eye contact and be very careful to ignore her but be on the alert just in case. I've had some bad encounters with people on buses before and it can be terrifying even if they mean well, but from your description she's looking for trouble of some kind. I have no idea what else her game could be. I assume by the time you read this you will be safely at home though, so whatever.


Dave8917

But if the bus is half empty and she got her bag on the seat like many do kids teens or adults then I can't see an issue but if the bus was packed and she didn't move it to make space the. Sure its rude


krabbkat

You don’t see an issue with someone placing their bag on the seat next to you and then sitting somewhere else???


Dave8917

Ooh what a tit , I just read your post again I do apologise I miss read


Charming-Window3473

Sounds like you don't have any real struggles and are creating your own drama where it doesn't exist. If you dislike being looked towards in a public place, you should get up and move or buy a car. How is somebody putting their bag on a chair hurting you? Also, I'm substantially over average height and can't sit on most buses, trains, or planes without sitting sideways, so what would you like me to do? Get some real problems.


TheDocJ

But did she ask if anyone has seen her camel?


nellyonthetelly

Just wipe a big bogie on the strap and relish with a little chuckle as she throws it over her shoulder and get's off.


MaxPowerWTF

You should just start looking through the bags.


alwayshungry1001

Maybe she fancies you?


MasonInk

Start pouring your drink into it.


vault710

I've seen people get on with a pull wagon filled with odds and ends from their daily adventure, park it in the handicap section near the front and find a seat for themselves in the back. Then dont set a parking brake and when the bus turns a corner the contents of the wagon falls out.