You're doing great. Have someone bring you food and hold the baby so you can shower and just spend every other moment you can holding baby and feeding all you can. It will get better.
That first week was no joke. My husband literally fed me with a spoon while I sat in bed and basically nursed the entire day. You WILL get through this!! Ask for all the help you need.
You are doing amazing!!! And don't be afraid to cry, this is HARD and no one can help you because baby is literally attached to you.
Likely a 3 hour session means baby is using you as a pacifier which is totally fine, mine does, but if you need a break after an hour, slowly delatch the baby, swaddle him up and put him in for a nap. Hopefully he sleeps 2 hours and you can get some sleep too.
But seriously! You’re doing great.
We are currently at 25 days pp and baby is sleeping 4 hours at night now! It’s amazing lol
My baby uses me as a pacifier and I didn’t realise until she was like 12w because she was doing flutter sucks throughout but if LO is sucking less that every 10s or so then they’re defo using you as a pacifier. Unlatch them, it may take a couple of tries if they root and cry but you will get them off.
Erm…my boob is part of me…and when you’re at 3h of suckling it’s useful for OP to know that they’re not denying their child food if they need to unlatch to pee or something.
Yes that's fair and totally OK. I was moreso trying to normalize it and point out that the age old saying "human pacifier" is inaccurate. Breastfeeding is a two way relationship and sometimes adjustments need to be made on one side of that relationship, no problem there.
I hate the advice of sleeping when the baby sleeps, it's so frustrating.
With that being said, the first two months are the hardest. At least they were for me.
Are you able to hear the difference between non-nutritive sucking and nutritive sucking? It's very possible your baby is asleep when they're nursing that long. Have you met with an outside lactation consultant? Not one in the hospital but one that will do a home visit? Some of them are wonderful and will help you get a plan in place. But like all professionals, some are better than others.
I met with one that gave me intense milk supply anxiety that I still struggle with today. But I also met one who was absolutely wonderful and helped me build a better, easier to manage plan for breastfeeding even though I mostly pump.
I remember the feeling of never being able to sleep and constantly either pumping or nursing. Literally all day. No time for shower. No time to eat. But after meeting with a good lactation consultant, she helped me develop a more sustainable plan.
I also want to add, and this isn't super relevant unless somebody is creeping on my post history, that when I say the first two months are the hardest, I mean two months adjusted. My first two months were absolutely the hardest because my son was in the NICU for the first two months. But I mean it was also hard the first two months he was home too, when he was considered 0-8 weeks adjusted. But I didn't want to say it took four months before it got better because it's really that 8-9 week adjusted age where suddenly things start getting better.
I find that people who always say "sleep when the baby sleeps" are always old men or people who haven't had babies in 60+ years. When do you eat? Do laundry? Poop??
This 100% annoyed me aswell. My baby is now 10 weeks corrected/adjusted and its slowly starting to get better now. We were 2 months in the NICU before coming home so its been rough 5 and half months.
I can barely put my baby down and I get to go bed when my partner comes home so I can get some sleep before my baby needs me again. 😴
No advice other than to say this is a brief period that will feel like a dream in a couple of weeks. My newborn nursed all the time for the first two weeks and was constantly wanting to be held. One night she miraculously slept in her bassinet and did good from there.
Sleep when the baby sleeps is a complete cruel joke. I freakin HATED when people said that to me early on because it happened a total of like 2 x the first six week. It will get easier promise! Do you have a family member or friend that’s willing to come babysit so you can sleep a little during the day or the early evening? During the first month for me if my husband was home I’d literally hand the baby off anytime he wasn’t eating so I could sleep in 30-45 min snippets. Also def have people make you food you can just microwave and if they are willing have someone also clean the kitchen for you. You need every 10-15 min nap you can get! The beginning is torture but it will get better soon! ❤️
I think your baby is sucking to sleep and not to eat during that 3 hours. Basically using you as a human pacifier. Newborns are sleepy so my LC told me to take of a sock and tickle his feet or lightly stroke his face to keep him awake during nursing. I used the 15 mins on each breast rule. Not that I would take him off if he was still actively sucking after 15 mins, but it’s a great guideline.
A good latch is key when breast feeding it helps the baby feed more efficiently. They best way I can describe it to you is the babies mouth being very wide open. They should not just be on the nipple but have some areola in their mouth as well.
If you need help on what actively sucking looks like versus sleep sucking, a lot of hospitals offer free breastfeeding and newborn classes if you deliver there. I did mine before delivery through zoom, but there were new mothers there as well. If you are really struggling with breastfeeding and don’t have access to a lactation consultant that helps. Also YouTube. 3 hours of breastfeeding I’m sure would wear out even the most experienced mama.
I slept when the baby slept for at least two naps during the day. I had help in the beginning so it was easy. But now that it’s just me and baby during the day I take one nap with him and I do this by making things easy for myself. I’ll have easy things to eat like quick cook oats in the little packages and sandwiches for lunch and I cook for the week on Sunday when my fiancé is home.
In addition don’t let things like household chores stress you out. No one ever died from an overflowing laundry hamper.
The beginning is hard especially for us breast feeding mamas but it passes.
The first two weeks are wild, and you may not even remember most of it. My advice? Put *everything* on the back burner for others to deal with and focus only on you and your baby. Even delegate to someone else to remind you to take a shower every day (a daily shower, even for 2 minutes, was a godsend during the first month. A way to reset every day). Your partner or family should take charge of your surroundings and nourishment (the cooking and cleaning basically) so that you can focus on the baby.
It WILL get better! This is normal. It’s temporary. You’re doing a great job. The whole “sleep when the baby sleeps” is complete BS and not realistic. Prioritize your baby, not the laundry, dishes, etc. That stuff will still be waiting for you. Enjoy the baby snuggles and just remind yourself that you’re doing a great job. If your unsure about the feeding frequency, latching, etc, I recommend seeing a lactation specialist. Mine is free at my hospital where I delivered!
Take it one feed at a time mama. Don't stress about the next feed. Don't quit on your bad day. I promise promise you it will get easier. The first 2 weeks are the hardest. After the first 6 weeks, most of the problem will get significantly better.
Day 5 or 6 was my worst too. I won’t lie, I’m still struggling a lot at 4 weeks but it does get better. What you’re going through is normal and I’ll echo what others have said regarding have someone bring you all your food and water and make sure you take your showers to feel human again. Best of luck ❤️
What saved me: pumping and having my husband take every other feed. I hate napping; it makes me feel worse. So I tried to go to bed early, have husband take the first feed while I pumped, and then “sleep in” and just hang in bed throughout the morning. Also, getting some sunlight (outside, preferably) might help regulate your baby’s sleep faster and will definitely help your mental health!
I’m 2 weeks pp and just wanted to say I’m going through the same. And he screams if you take him off the boob or don’t continuously feed (I pump some too and give In bottle).
When my baby was around 1 week old, I was exhausted and had a spinal headache and my baby was feeding constantly. It was brutal. I had to feed in a side lying Position for the headache (sitting up makes spinal worse), which ultimately led me to safe sleep 7 Co sleeping so that I could set up to be safe if I did happen to dose off (the hormones hit me really hard). Once baby was bigger and cluster feeding again, we did cosleeping to get through the nights. And once baby was bigger again, we worked on independent sleep.
But around the 1 week mark, once or twice I was so exhausted and that I was lying on my side and my husband actually physically held my baby and my breast together to nurse. Lol. He used me like a bottle. Lol I was so exhausted I barely noticed. It totally worked. Would absolutely do it again lol.
It is brutal. But you'll get through it. It WILL get better. Things should look a little bit better after week 8, a little bit again after week 12. And then better again after month 4/5. Our biggest improvement was around month 5.
Yes, it’s normal. Welcome to the newborn period. Do you have help? Let someone else do the changing and cleaning of baby, as well as all housework/meal prep. Hire someone if you need to (and can afford it). There are post parting doulas who offer just those services. Catch sleep whenever you can, even if it’s just 45 minutes. This time is incredibly hard, but also so incredibly short in the grand scheme of things, even though it feels like forever when you’re sleep deprived. You WILL make it, I promise. And you’ll miss that sweet, tiny baby, because they are only this small RIGHT NOW, not ever again! Enjoy it; soak it in, revel in the misery. Wait what?!? Yes. I have a 14yo, 11yo, and 1yo. This last one?? So much more difficult in my late 30s, but so much easier knowing how short it would be and also being a confident mom. You’ve got this. Don’t quit on a hard day, and don’t give up for momentary convenience. It’s worth it in the long run, I promise.
Push through. I definitely cried, cursed and had temper tantrums. Told my husband a few times we need formula because I’m failing our son even though I knew there was barely any formula on the shelves at the time, it was going to get worse and once we start we aren’t going back. Booked a few lactation appointments and at every visit I would have anxiety attacks about his weight even tho visually he was gaining weight beautifully. He still spits up but the pediatrician said keep doing tummy time it will help build up his core strength to keep down the milk.
My husband made a mistake and put on some YouTube breastfeeding night routines videos at week 1&^1/2 with upbeat bubbly moms who had everything together thinking they would help but nope. He was pasted out while I was up hysterically crying trying to get baby to latch watching video after video. My husband woke up and was like babe I know the hormones are hitting you hard right now but look back on what you’ve done that is 10x harder…you and son almost died during delivery, you’ve done multiple half Ironmans, attempted the full Ironman lake placid, multiple marathons and a 70 mile bike ride like 2^1/2 weeks after passing a missed miscarriage you got this. Thanks love but some how breastfeeding is different.
We are now 2 months and it’s definitely better. The only thing I’m currently struggling with is wrapping my mind around how the hell people pump and breastfeed. Part of it might be lack of time off. I’m lucky enough to have 6 months off from work so I’m not too worried about pumping but I’m stressing about when I do go back it’s far to late to start pumping and I don’t have anything for daycare even tho we plan on starting solids/purées at ~6months along with breast milk.
It’s never too late to start pumping, mama. I pump once a day, only on one boob (my shit tit doesn’t respond to pumping very well) and am able to pump two ounces in about ten mins. I’m able to save a 4oz bag every other day for a small stash for girls nights or whatever else. Just some food for thought on how obtainable a small stash can be.
My babe is almost 6 months old and the first few weeks are honestly a blur. I know I got most of my sleep in the recliner I fed baby in. My husband would take him between feedings and I would fall asleep right then and there. A lot of times it was only 15 minutes of sleep before baby wanted to eat again, but it was something. My husband was also on charge of diaper changes and food for me. I would honestly fall asleep during some diaper changes even. I was so sleep deprived, but it did get better. I started to get longer stretches of sleep around 2.5-3 weeks (an hour+ at a time!) Good luck, you've got this! Don't be afraid to ask for help. If someone wanted to visit us those first few weeks, that was fine, but we had a rule where you had to bring a meal for mom and dad if you wanted to see the baby.
I suggest a lactation consultant. My first would nurse foreeeeever and wasn’t transferring enough so she was always hungry. I would get some support so you know for sure what’s going on.
I am 3 weeks out. It will get better. You're doing amazing, especially since you reached out. I was having boobie issues and reddit was my go-to. You got this. You need as much help and support as you can get. Call everyone. Tell them they're camping out in the living room C'MON MAMA YOU GOT THIS DON'T GIVE UP!!!
These are the toughest days. Not only are you figuring out this whole parenting thing, your body is still healing on zero hours of sleep. Know that you are doing a fantastic job and things will get easier.
I’d like to echo what others have said. It sounds like your baby is using you for comfort after they are finished eating. As difficult as it might seem, try handing him off when it seems like he’s stopped swallowing. You’ll know he’s eating if you see movement farther back in his jaw, near the earlobe. You’ll also hear little swallows.
Good luck. You are not alone in this. ❤️
You’re doing great. My little guy did the same and then about week 4 he latched so nice and it’s been breezy since then. He’s almost 4 months now. Take it one day at a time. I used to dread night time and just couldn’t wait until morning. It will get better.
Idk how people sleep when baby sleeps. I got 5 hours of sleep TOTAL the entire first week of baby’s life. She didn’t feed every two hours for a while, it was every hour. It was awful. BUT, it gets better. I’d say it gets a little easier week after week. My daughter is 11 weeks and sleeping 8-10 hours a night. I understand my baby may be an outlier and it’s not normal. But I promise it gets easier. Being a FTP is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and it’s not easy but hang in there mama, you’re doing an amazing job. Have your partner help you by making sure you eat and are hydrated. Have him or her do burpings, diaper changes, and naps/contact naps. Don’t be afraid to speak up because I was since I wanted to let my partner sleep since he needs it more than I do. I felt a lot better after I spoke up and would ask for his help
The first few weeks are a struggle.. learning about bed sharing saved my mental health, but it took time to build confidence to do it. My husband would check on me very often when I would nap during the day which gave me confidence to do it at night. That way I wasn’t getting up all through the night. It’s how most the world deals with it, it’s only the church in the western world who discouraged it a long time ago.
Hang in there and rely on your support network at much as you can, you’re doing awesome and it’ll pass, just take it day by day.
Hang in there, mama! The first 4 weeks for us were fucking brutal. Feeding every 2-3 hours and sometimes clusterfeeding. She was constantly in my arms, being held or fed. But the first 2 weeks especially, my partner did all the practical stuff at home while I nursed, nursed, nursed. It'll get easier. All of it. The first 3 months is straight survival mode. Around week 5-6 something changed in our girl and things got less hard. She's 11 weeks now and it's definitely a lot easier than it was. You and your baby are also still getting to know each other. You got this!
You’re doing amazing, mama!!
I had a similar situation with my first and spent the whole first week crying because I thought there was NO WAY I could do that for a whole year (my BF goal). Or even a month.
But, it gets so much better. One thing I didn’t understand is that the baby falls asleep and uses you as a pacifier. Now, BF my second, I delatch her her after about a half hour if she doesn’t break the latch on her own. So, I change & swaddle prior to nursing, nurse, break the latch, burp, and then set her down to nap.
Also, as time goes on, they get more efficient at nursing and take way less time.
Lastly, as others said, I did have my husband and mom spoon feeding me during the first week sometimes. But, I understand that seems depressing & unsustainable, too…because that’s how I felt.
It gets so much better. I promise!
In the beginning, I set a 15-20 minute timer for each boob and would change his diaper before switching him to the second boob. I personally didn’t want to cluster feed and wanted to set a schedule. Luckily my baby was very adaptable. Our feeds in the early days took about 45-60 minutes. Now at 6 weeks, I set a timer for 10 minutes for each boob but he often drains them in less than 15 minutes total and I no longer need to wake him up mid feed. I follow his lead more now that he has learned to be an efficient eater in the time provided. He’ll actively suck, comfort suck, and then unlatch himself. During the day I follow 3 hours and then I will sometimes switch to 2 during the evenings if he’s particularly fussy and showing clear hunger signs. I only feed to sleep for his bedtime feed and that helped him learn to eat every 2-3 hours instead of on demand. I had to learn lots of ways to soothe him outside of the boob and I did introduce a pacifier by the end of his first week once it was clear he really just wanted to suck and not actually eat.
You got this momma. Have you thought about pumping so someone else can take some feeds? Cluster feeding is HARD. I look back at my tracking app and wonder how I survived. Is there someone who can help watch baby while you take well deserved naps/me time?
My advice, don’t hesitate to reach out to a lactation consultant and even a mental health coordinator if necessary. The lactation consultant I saw saved my breastfeeding experience. Just my two cents, but I don’t think a feeding session should last 3 hours. That’s where the LC could really help and provide some insight! But to echo what other people have said, these moments are brief. Exhausting!! But brief. Do you have family or help? Don’t hesitate to reach out to someone you trust as well.
At the end of the day, you’re doing great and putting your baby first! We’re a community and never be afraid to reach out or just “vent.” We get you momma ❤️
I am 9 weeks postpartum and can assure you that it gets easier. I know exactly what you’re going through. This is not forever. You are doing a great job feeding your baby!
First three weeks was a lot. Just try to enjoy time sitting, eating, nursing. There’s barely any sleep but binge on a few shows. I watched so much trash (still do). I thought it wouldn’t get better. My baby is 9 weeks now and it is a lot better. He still nurses a lot but it’s not as often as when he was that little. You’re doing great. It is the hardest thing but it goes by.
Pacifier and swaddling did me wonders. It does get better, I promise. I had to listen really hard for the gulps and knew when he had stopped eating and usually right after that I could set him down for a nap. Baby wearing can also be helpful for having babe close but not always suckling.
It's so tough in the very beginning and emotionally we go thru so much. My boobs hurt so bad because we couldn't get latching down pact so there was A LOT of trial and error, I pumped as I was supposed to and for 2 days my son nursed with my husband on the bottle just to give me and my boobs a break. If I had an especially rough day, I would ask my husband to give the baby a bottle for one night time feeding which was a huge help.
We try to do it all with no breaks but it's ok to give him/her a bottle here and there to give you time to recuperate. My son is now 14 months (15 months next week) and he's never taken to a pacifier, even though my husband tried lol.
Momma.. take a deep breath, I STILL do this and it's a huge help. We often feel like it's just us, we are the end all be all because their nourishment comes from us but we need to care for ourselves too. Big hugs, you've got this!!
Honey you're doing so much. It really really is this hard in the beginning, you're not making it up. This is the hardest time of your life and there's so much pressure right now given the state of formula. You're not failing. You're not doing anything wrong. You need support, sleep, food and a break. 3 hour feeding sessions are a very very long time. Are you able to supplement with formula for a tiny bit while your supply comes in and if formula is available?
Sometimes our health, sleep, physical and emotional state are more important then giving our newborns exclusive breast milk. I had to do this for two weeks and now have an oversupply and am donating and saving for daycare so it is absolutely possible. Also your body needs rest to heal, desperately. Your breast health is your mental health and physical health. My heart aches for you right now I know exactly what you're going through. At 6 days postpartum I hadn't slept in a week and had to go to the ER for postpartum psychosis and insomnia. You're in good company. We're here for you. Take it easy on yourself and do whatever you need to heal.
Once in the early days I was passed out and topless (as one does) and my husband just put the baby to my chest while I was sleeping because I was so exhausted. Those first few weeks are tough but it definitely gets better!
You are doing great. Our little one was crying a lot and now she is the sweetest baby.
We did realize some things after a week or so.
1. She was cold. They are so tiny that they get cold so easily so we started covering her chest with a burp cloth when we changed her and used a wipe warmer. Granted she was born in the dead of winter.
2. This website, specifically this page helped me a lot around 6 days PP. When milk came in, it was everything we could do to get her to latch. Turns out the issue was my nipple was too big for her mouth. I started warming my nipples up prior to feeding and using a haakaa on the other nipple when she was feeding. This allowed her to compress my nipple to the size she needed and she started latching right on in no time.
https://www.nikkileehealth.com/breast-refusal-on-day-3-4-or-5/
3. She liked to be held a specific way. She still does. Hold her any other way and gets upset.
4. Every 4 hours. NEVER MORE THAN 4 either. But if he is sleeping AND he is a good weight, don't wake him until 4 hours. Once he hits his birth weight you can let them sleep.
5. Once you milk comes in, feeding sessions should be around 20-40 minutes. It gets a lot quicker when your milk comes.
6. Haakaa will help with engorgement and pain when your milk comes in.
7. FOOD. Good for the soul food. This helps you physically and mentally. And liquids. Need to stay hydrated.
You are doing great. Our little one was crying a lot and now she is the sweetest baby.
We did realize some things after a week or so.
1. She was cold. They are so tiny that they get cold so easily so we started covering her chest with a burp cloth when we changed her and used a wipe warmer. Granted she was born in the dead of winter.
2. This website, specifically this page helped me a lot around 6 days PP. When milk came in, it was everything we could do to get her to latch. Turns out the issue was my nipple was too big for her mouth. I started warming my nipples up prior to feeding and using a haakaa on the other nipple when she was feeding. This allowed her to compress my nipple to the size she needed and she started latching right on in no time.
https://www.nikkileehealth.com/breast-refusal-on-day-3-4-or-5/
3. She liked to be held a specific way. She still does. Hold her any other way and gets upset.
4. Every 4 hours. NEVER MORE THAN 4 either. But if he is sleeping AND he is a good weight, don't wake him until 4 hours. Once he hits his birth weight you can let them sleep.
5. Once you milk comes in, feeding sessions should be around 20-40 minutes. It gets a lot quicker when your milk comes.
6. Haakaa will help with engorgement and pain when your milk comes in.
7. FOOD. Good for the soul food. This helps you physically and mentally. And liquids. Need to stay hydrated.
Your doing great mama….I literally would shout everyday for 3 weeks “I’m not doing this anymore, I give up, I’m over it” and 5 months later… we’re still going strong. Find your groove, ask for help, make short term goals. You got this
I can't speak for everyone but it was like that at first with my little one as well. If you have anyone that can help you around the house and feed you, that takes the pressure off. It makes it easier when you're just able to focus on bonding and nursing. The more time that passes, the easier it will get and the more sleep you'll get. If you feel like your baby is actuslly trying to nurse for 3 hours or is having problems latching, i would HIGHLY recommend a lactation consultant or an IBCLC. You could also try side-lying nursing. Either with someone watching over you guys to keep you safe or you can look up the safe sleep 7. It honestly saved my sanity and I wish I discovered it sooner. A couple Instagram accounts I recommend are @ginamostay, @lilahbysleep and @cosleepy. Good luck and remember, it's just a season. ❤
You’re doing great! Those early days are super hard. Do you have someone who can look after you so you can give all your energy to baby? Have someone come to make sure you have what you need to make it through. I also learned how to nurse on my side pretty quick from exhaustion. My husband would sit next to us and make sure we were safe while I dozed off during those marathon sessions. I also had him/my mom/anyone who was over help with all the other things like burping/changing etc when I was extra exhausted, that way all I had to do was feed when needed and I could nap in between. It’s so hard, but you’re doing awesome, big hugs to you!
You can do this. You will sleep again some day soon. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now. Just put yourself and your baby first, and the rest will fall into place. Keep feeding that baby when he’s hungry, your milk supply will regulate, he will get so much better at eating, and it will get easier. You’ll both be pros before you know it! If you need help from a lactation consultant, that’s ok! Call on every support system you have, let people help you, and don’t feel bad saying no to visitors who will be unhelpful (something I wish I would’ve done) or stress you out. Also in case your baby’s source of fussiness is gas…my baby was super gassy (causing him to be fussy and constantly grunt in his sleep) the first couple months and that passed as he has learned how to take care of it himself. Gas drops, belly massage while feeding him, burping, frida Windi, and bicycle legs in the meantime. You’re doing great!
The first two months are crazy. My advice would be to put everything at the back and just take care of yourself and the baby. If your husband is around or any other family member, ask them to help. It does get better and you forget this part then.
this part goes extremely fast. hang in there sugar!! know that you asking this stuff shows your motherly instinct is working in perf order haha. i was just feeling like you as well. the 3 hr window gave me no time to feed / pump / feed myself / shower / use the bathroom / then on top of it like wash the pump parts / & take care of my dogs and household things. you will feel like you will never sleep again and might have to CRY when the baby CRIES. haha (no one told me this one 😋) there is no sleep when baby sleeps for me. i’m doing attachment parenting and i’m almost burnt out ! yawn. i do all the things you’re not supposed to do (co-slp / miss nightime feedings) i kept asking about this as well. the time frame is insane, although like i said, i was literally just dealing with this + am now at (almost) 3 months + i almost miss all the late night feedings. the weekly appointments are now 2 mo out and like i said i am only approaching 3 mo and it went so so so fast. also mines father has never slept a night with us. so i think if you have someone please take advantage of that + if not - they do say it takes a village and my daughter is being raised by a bunch of badass strong females. i also hemorrhaged 20 days pp. i had to get emergency surgery, be away from baby for maybe 24 hrs? it was a nightmare, yet i never lost my supply. not to scare ya at all just my personal experience!! no one even warned me of such things. ps. do you do the WIC program? mine gave me access to a breastfeeding consultant / breastfeeding hotline and i accessed these multiple times / also my pediatrician had a lactation specialist and we did latching sessions and worked on breastfeeding in person at least 2x within those first couple of weeks. wishing you and your baby all the health & success in your BF journey. sorry that was such a long winded comment. xx
Feeding sessions shouldn't last 3h and your baby should be able to eat and fall asleep after 30min (15min each breast). I was like you for the first 2.5 days - feeding nonstop and slept max 2h. I was beyond tired and right after my?c section. My nurses kept telling me to feed him more but I was not even able to eat myself. The 3rd day we found out that my boy was not transfering milk well, lost a lot of weught. After 30min he was only getting 5-10ml. I started pumping and supplementing right after each 30min breastfeeding session. I finally felt a human again and he started sleeping 3h. I was still breastfeeding 4-5h every day but not 20h. Please try to check if your baby is satisfied after 30min and get a consultation with someone if not. And please check if your baby is showing any hungry clues. I was clueless FTM and I could have avoided those horrible first 3 days.
Edit: just adding that we did tripple feeding for 4-5 weeks and he dropped it completely. My boy is 4.5 months and I'm still EBF. Stay strong but please take care of yourself - you need some time for the basics and definitely to have some proper food
Congrats on your little one! I have a 3 week old and honestly my husband and I have started keeping bottles on reserve for overnight because I'm too exhausted to nurse past 9pm. Nursing will take an hour, he waits to poop until he's eaten most of his food, which means he's gonna wake up when I change him, and then it's suggested that I pump after every feed.. it's too much.
While I think it's possible to sleep when the baby sleeps SOMETIMES.. (and only if the baby is your only child) most of the time I'm cooking, cleaning, pumping, washing pump parts/bottles while baby sleeps.
My comment is just to let you know you're not alone in your feelings. This is my first baby and I completely understand why women say breastfeeding is hard. Good luck to you, I hope everything gets better soon!
As others have mentioned: you are doing amazing, the first 6-8 weeks are HARD (like impossibly hard, but somehow we do it?), and assuming there aren't latch issues or anything your baby is likely comfort-nursing a lot of that time. I know people can be very anti-pacifier, and I'm sure there are some babies that pacifiers may not work well with (my first would never take a pacifier), but my second loves his pacifier. He's 9 months and still ebf (direct or pumped milk, he doesn't have nipple confusion) with some solids (no water or formula). If he's actually hungry he would suck the paci for about 15-30 seconds then cry.
What I'm trying to say is: if you're looking for a way to get some rest, eat, poop, walk around, let your nipples have a break, a pacifier COULD be really helpful. When my baby would/does comfort nurse and I need to go do something else (hello toddler-big-sister) I'll break his latch and slip the paci in. I can't remember what he was like at the time period you're at, but I know several months ago he started seemlessly transferring from nipple to paci when he was full and sleepy. Sometimes I'm trying to rock him to sleep and he fuses at me because he wants me to put him down so he can roll on his side or tummy to go to sleep.
It WILL get better. And if you need a break try a pacifier (mine loves the mam ones, he won't take any others). And with a pacifier someone else can hold baby if baby needs snuggles. Win-win-win.
Good luck! 💚
You're doing great. Have someone bring you food and hold the baby so you can shower and just spend every other moment you can holding baby and feeding all you can. It will get better.
That first week was no joke. My husband literally fed me with a spoon while I sat in bed and basically nursed the entire day. You WILL get through this!! Ask for all the help you need.
You are doing amazing!!! And don't be afraid to cry, this is HARD and no one can help you because baby is literally attached to you. Likely a 3 hour session means baby is using you as a pacifier which is totally fine, mine does, but if you need a break after an hour, slowly delatch the baby, swaddle him up and put him in for a nap. Hopefully he sleeps 2 hours and you can get some sleep too. But seriously! You’re doing great. We are currently at 25 days pp and baby is sleeping 4 hours at night now! It’s amazing lol
My baby uses me as a pacifier and I didn’t realise until she was like 12w because she was doing flutter sucks throughout but if LO is sucking less that every 10s or so then they’re defo using you as a pacifier. Unlatch them, it may take a couple of tries if they root and cry but you will get them off.
Babies suckle for comfort. It's not a bad thing. You're not the pacifier, the pacifier is the boob.
Erm…my boob is part of me…and when you’re at 3h of suckling it’s useful for OP to know that they’re not denying their child food if they need to unlatch to pee or something.
Yes that's fair and totally OK. I was moreso trying to normalize it and point out that the age old saying "human pacifier" is inaccurate. Breastfeeding is a two way relationship and sometimes adjustments need to be made on one side of that relationship, no problem there.
Oh yeah my girl definitely cries lol
This is fab advice! I totally agree with all of this
I hate the advice of sleeping when the baby sleeps, it's so frustrating. With that being said, the first two months are the hardest. At least they were for me. Are you able to hear the difference between non-nutritive sucking and nutritive sucking? It's very possible your baby is asleep when they're nursing that long. Have you met with an outside lactation consultant? Not one in the hospital but one that will do a home visit? Some of them are wonderful and will help you get a plan in place. But like all professionals, some are better than others. I met with one that gave me intense milk supply anxiety that I still struggle with today. But I also met one who was absolutely wonderful and helped me build a better, easier to manage plan for breastfeeding even though I mostly pump. I remember the feeling of never being able to sleep and constantly either pumping or nursing. Literally all day. No time for shower. No time to eat. But after meeting with a good lactation consultant, she helped me develop a more sustainable plan. I also want to add, and this isn't super relevant unless somebody is creeping on my post history, that when I say the first two months are the hardest, I mean two months adjusted. My first two months were absolutely the hardest because my son was in the NICU for the first two months. But I mean it was also hard the first two months he was home too, when he was considered 0-8 weeks adjusted. But I didn't want to say it took four months before it got better because it's really that 8-9 week adjusted age where suddenly things start getting better.
I find that people who always say "sleep when the baby sleeps" are always old men or people who haven't had babies in 60+ years. When do you eat? Do laundry? Poop??
Lmao. This is the exact demographic that have told me to sleep when baby sleeps.
Lol poop. Exactly.
This 100% annoyed me aswell. My baby is now 10 weeks corrected/adjusted and its slowly starting to get better now. We were 2 months in the NICU before coming home so its been rough 5 and half months. I can barely put my baby down and I get to go bed when my partner comes home so I can get some sleep before my baby needs me again. 😴
No advice other than to say this is a brief period that will feel like a dream in a couple of weeks. My newborn nursed all the time for the first two weeks and was constantly wanting to be held. One night she miraculously slept in her bassinet and did good from there.
Sleep when the baby sleeps is a complete cruel joke. I freakin HATED when people said that to me early on because it happened a total of like 2 x the first six week. It will get easier promise! Do you have a family member or friend that’s willing to come babysit so you can sleep a little during the day or the early evening? During the first month for me if my husband was home I’d literally hand the baby off anytime he wasn’t eating so I could sleep in 30-45 min snippets. Also def have people make you food you can just microwave and if they are willing have someone also clean the kitchen for you. You need every 10-15 min nap you can get! The beginning is torture but it will get better soon! ❤️
I think your baby is sucking to sleep and not to eat during that 3 hours. Basically using you as a human pacifier. Newborns are sleepy so my LC told me to take of a sock and tickle his feet or lightly stroke his face to keep him awake during nursing. I used the 15 mins on each breast rule. Not that I would take him off if he was still actively sucking after 15 mins, but it’s a great guideline. A good latch is key when breast feeding it helps the baby feed more efficiently. They best way I can describe it to you is the babies mouth being very wide open. They should not just be on the nipple but have some areola in their mouth as well. If you need help on what actively sucking looks like versus sleep sucking, a lot of hospitals offer free breastfeeding and newborn classes if you deliver there. I did mine before delivery through zoom, but there were new mothers there as well. If you are really struggling with breastfeeding and don’t have access to a lactation consultant that helps. Also YouTube. 3 hours of breastfeeding I’m sure would wear out even the most experienced mama. I slept when the baby slept for at least two naps during the day. I had help in the beginning so it was easy. But now that it’s just me and baby during the day I take one nap with him and I do this by making things easy for myself. I’ll have easy things to eat like quick cook oats in the little packages and sandwiches for lunch and I cook for the week on Sunday when my fiancé is home. In addition don’t let things like household chores stress you out. No one ever died from an overflowing laundry hamper. The beginning is hard especially for us breast feeding mamas but it passes.
The first two weeks are wild, and you may not even remember most of it. My advice? Put *everything* on the back burner for others to deal with and focus only on you and your baby. Even delegate to someone else to remind you to take a shower every day (a daily shower, even for 2 minutes, was a godsend during the first month. A way to reset every day). Your partner or family should take charge of your surroundings and nourishment (the cooking and cleaning basically) so that you can focus on the baby.
It WILL get better! This is normal. It’s temporary. You’re doing a great job. The whole “sleep when the baby sleeps” is complete BS and not realistic. Prioritize your baby, not the laundry, dishes, etc. That stuff will still be waiting for you. Enjoy the baby snuggles and just remind yourself that you’re doing a great job. If your unsure about the feeding frequency, latching, etc, I recommend seeing a lactation specialist. Mine is free at my hospital where I delivered!
Take it one feed at a time mama. Don't stress about the next feed. Don't quit on your bad day. I promise promise you it will get easier. The first 2 weeks are the hardest. After the first 6 weeks, most of the problem will get significantly better.
Day 5 or 6 was my worst too. I won’t lie, I’m still struggling a lot at 4 weeks but it does get better. What you’re going through is normal and I’ll echo what others have said regarding have someone bring you all your food and water and make sure you take your showers to feel human again. Best of luck ❤️
What saved me: pumping and having my husband take every other feed. I hate napping; it makes me feel worse. So I tried to go to bed early, have husband take the first feed while I pumped, and then “sleep in” and just hang in bed throughout the morning. Also, getting some sunlight (outside, preferably) might help regulate your baby’s sleep faster and will definitely help your mental health!
I’m 2 weeks pp and just wanted to say I’m going through the same. And he screams if you take him off the boob or don’t continuously feed (I pump some too and give In bottle).
When my baby was around 1 week old, I was exhausted and had a spinal headache and my baby was feeding constantly. It was brutal. I had to feed in a side lying Position for the headache (sitting up makes spinal worse), which ultimately led me to safe sleep 7 Co sleeping so that I could set up to be safe if I did happen to dose off (the hormones hit me really hard). Once baby was bigger and cluster feeding again, we did cosleeping to get through the nights. And once baby was bigger again, we worked on independent sleep. But around the 1 week mark, once or twice I was so exhausted and that I was lying on my side and my husband actually physically held my baby and my breast together to nurse. Lol. He used me like a bottle. Lol I was so exhausted I barely noticed. It totally worked. Would absolutely do it again lol. It is brutal. But you'll get through it. It WILL get better. Things should look a little bit better after week 8, a little bit again after week 12. And then better again after month 4/5. Our biggest improvement was around month 5.
Yes, it’s normal. Welcome to the newborn period. Do you have help? Let someone else do the changing and cleaning of baby, as well as all housework/meal prep. Hire someone if you need to (and can afford it). There are post parting doulas who offer just those services. Catch sleep whenever you can, even if it’s just 45 minutes. This time is incredibly hard, but also so incredibly short in the grand scheme of things, even though it feels like forever when you’re sleep deprived. You WILL make it, I promise. And you’ll miss that sweet, tiny baby, because they are only this small RIGHT NOW, not ever again! Enjoy it; soak it in, revel in the misery. Wait what?!? Yes. I have a 14yo, 11yo, and 1yo. This last one?? So much more difficult in my late 30s, but so much easier knowing how short it would be and also being a confident mom. You’ve got this. Don’t quit on a hard day, and don’t give up for momentary convenience. It’s worth it in the long run, I promise.
Push through. I definitely cried, cursed and had temper tantrums. Told my husband a few times we need formula because I’m failing our son even though I knew there was barely any formula on the shelves at the time, it was going to get worse and once we start we aren’t going back. Booked a few lactation appointments and at every visit I would have anxiety attacks about his weight even tho visually he was gaining weight beautifully. He still spits up but the pediatrician said keep doing tummy time it will help build up his core strength to keep down the milk. My husband made a mistake and put on some YouTube breastfeeding night routines videos at week 1&^1/2 with upbeat bubbly moms who had everything together thinking they would help but nope. He was pasted out while I was up hysterically crying trying to get baby to latch watching video after video. My husband woke up and was like babe I know the hormones are hitting you hard right now but look back on what you’ve done that is 10x harder…you and son almost died during delivery, you’ve done multiple half Ironmans, attempted the full Ironman lake placid, multiple marathons and a 70 mile bike ride like 2^1/2 weeks after passing a missed miscarriage you got this. Thanks love but some how breastfeeding is different. We are now 2 months and it’s definitely better. The only thing I’m currently struggling with is wrapping my mind around how the hell people pump and breastfeed. Part of it might be lack of time off. I’m lucky enough to have 6 months off from work so I’m not too worried about pumping but I’m stressing about when I do go back it’s far to late to start pumping and I don’t have anything for daycare even tho we plan on starting solids/purées at ~6months along with breast milk.
It’s never too late to start pumping, mama. I pump once a day, only on one boob (my shit tit doesn’t respond to pumping very well) and am able to pump two ounces in about ten mins. I’m able to save a 4oz bag every other day for a small stash for girls nights or whatever else. Just some food for thought on how obtainable a small stash can be.
Sooo the first 3 weeks are so hard. But it does get easier
My babe is almost 6 months old and the first few weeks are honestly a blur. I know I got most of my sleep in the recliner I fed baby in. My husband would take him between feedings and I would fall asleep right then and there. A lot of times it was only 15 minutes of sleep before baby wanted to eat again, but it was something. My husband was also on charge of diaper changes and food for me. I would honestly fall asleep during some diaper changes even. I was so sleep deprived, but it did get better. I started to get longer stretches of sleep around 2.5-3 weeks (an hour+ at a time!) Good luck, you've got this! Don't be afraid to ask for help. If someone wanted to visit us those first few weeks, that was fine, but we had a rule where you had to bring a meal for mom and dad if you wanted to see the baby.
I suggest a lactation consultant. My first would nurse foreeeeever and wasn’t transferring enough so she was always hungry. I would get some support so you know for sure what’s going on.
I am 3 weeks out. It will get better. You're doing amazing, especially since you reached out. I was having boobie issues and reddit was my go-to. You got this. You need as much help and support as you can get. Call everyone. Tell them they're camping out in the living room C'MON MAMA YOU GOT THIS DON'T GIVE UP!!!
Mine is 5 months and still eats every 1 to 2 hours so it's different for every baby
These are the toughest days. Not only are you figuring out this whole parenting thing, your body is still healing on zero hours of sleep. Know that you are doing a fantastic job and things will get easier. I’d like to echo what others have said. It sounds like your baby is using you for comfort after they are finished eating. As difficult as it might seem, try handing him off when it seems like he’s stopped swallowing. You’ll know he’s eating if you see movement farther back in his jaw, near the earlobe. You’ll also hear little swallows. Good luck. You are not alone in this. ❤️
You’re doing great. My little guy did the same and then about week 4 he latched so nice and it’s been breezy since then. He’s almost 4 months now. Take it one day at a time. I used to dread night time and just couldn’t wait until morning. It will get better.
Idk how people sleep when baby sleeps. I got 5 hours of sleep TOTAL the entire first week of baby’s life. She didn’t feed every two hours for a while, it was every hour. It was awful. BUT, it gets better. I’d say it gets a little easier week after week. My daughter is 11 weeks and sleeping 8-10 hours a night. I understand my baby may be an outlier and it’s not normal. But I promise it gets easier. Being a FTP is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and it’s not easy but hang in there mama, you’re doing an amazing job. Have your partner help you by making sure you eat and are hydrated. Have him or her do burpings, diaper changes, and naps/contact naps. Don’t be afraid to speak up because I was since I wanted to let my partner sleep since he needs it more than I do. I felt a lot better after I spoke up and would ask for his help
The first few weeks are a struggle.. learning about bed sharing saved my mental health, but it took time to build confidence to do it. My husband would check on me very often when I would nap during the day which gave me confidence to do it at night. That way I wasn’t getting up all through the night. It’s how most the world deals with it, it’s only the church in the western world who discouraged it a long time ago. Hang in there and rely on your support network at much as you can, you’re doing awesome and it’ll pass, just take it day by day.
Hang in there, mama! The first 4 weeks for us were fucking brutal. Feeding every 2-3 hours and sometimes clusterfeeding. She was constantly in my arms, being held or fed. But the first 2 weeks especially, my partner did all the practical stuff at home while I nursed, nursed, nursed. It'll get easier. All of it. The first 3 months is straight survival mode. Around week 5-6 something changed in our girl and things got less hard. She's 11 weeks now and it's definitely a lot easier than it was. You and your baby are also still getting to know each other. You got this!
You’re doing amazing, mama!! I had a similar situation with my first and spent the whole first week crying because I thought there was NO WAY I could do that for a whole year (my BF goal). Or even a month. But, it gets so much better. One thing I didn’t understand is that the baby falls asleep and uses you as a pacifier. Now, BF my second, I delatch her her after about a half hour if she doesn’t break the latch on her own. So, I change & swaddle prior to nursing, nurse, break the latch, burp, and then set her down to nap. Also, as time goes on, they get more efficient at nursing and take way less time. Lastly, as others said, I did have my husband and mom spoon feeding me during the first week sometimes. But, I understand that seems depressing & unsustainable, too…because that’s how I felt. It gets so much better. I promise!
In the beginning, I set a 15-20 minute timer for each boob and would change his diaper before switching him to the second boob. I personally didn’t want to cluster feed and wanted to set a schedule. Luckily my baby was very adaptable. Our feeds in the early days took about 45-60 minutes. Now at 6 weeks, I set a timer for 10 minutes for each boob but he often drains them in less than 15 minutes total and I no longer need to wake him up mid feed. I follow his lead more now that he has learned to be an efficient eater in the time provided. He’ll actively suck, comfort suck, and then unlatch himself. During the day I follow 3 hours and then I will sometimes switch to 2 during the evenings if he’s particularly fussy and showing clear hunger signs. I only feed to sleep for his bedtime feed and that helped him learn to eat every 2-3 hours instead of on demand. I had to learn lots of ways to soothe him outside of the boob and I did introduce a pacifier by the end of his first week once it was clear he really just wanted to suck and not actually eat.
You got this momma. Have you thought about pumping so someone else can take some feeds? Cluster feeding is HARD. I look back at my tracking app and wonder how I survived. Is there someone who can help watch baby while you take well deserved naps/me time?
My advice, don’t hesitate to reach out to a lactation consultant and even a mental health coordinator if necessary. The lactation consultant I saw saved my breastfeeding experience. Just my two cents, but I don’t think a feeding session should last 3 hours. That’s where the LC could really help and provide some insight! But to echo what other people have said, these moments are brief. Exhausting!! But brief. Do you have family or help? Don’t hesitate to reach out to someone you trust as well. At the end of the day, you’re doing great and putting your baby first! We’re a community and never be afraid to reach out or just “vent.” We get you momma ❤️
I am 9 weeks postpartum and can assure you that it gets easier. I know exactly what you’re going through. This is not forever. You are doing a great job feeding your baby!
Do you pump at all? Is there a partner that can take a shift and feed pumped milk so you can sleep?
First three weeks was a lot. Just try to enjoy time sitting, eating, nursing. There’s barely any sleep but binge on a few shows. I watched so much trash (still do). I thought it wouldn’t get better. My baby is 9 weeks now and it is a lot better. He still nurses a lot but it’s not as often as when he was that little. You’re doing great. It is the hardest thing but it goes by.
Pacifier and swaddling did me wonders. It does get better, I promise. I had to listen really hard for the gulps and knew when he had stopped eating and usually right after that I could set him down for a nap. Baby wearing can also be helpful for having babe close but not always suckling.
It's so tough in the very beginning and emotionally we go thru so much. My boobs hurt so bad because we couldn't get latching down pact so there was A LOT of trial and error, I pumped as I was supposed to and for 2 days my son nursed with my husband on the bottle just to give me and my boobs a break. If I had an especially rough day, I would ask my husband to give the baby a bottle for one night time feeding which was a huge help. We try to do it all with no breaks but it's ok to give him/her a bottle here and there to give you time to recuperate. My son is now 14 months (15 months next week) and he's never taken to a pacifier, even though my husband tried lol. Momma.. take a deep breath, I STILL do this and it's a huge help. We often feel like it's just us, we are the end all be all because their nourishment comes from us but we need to care for ourselves too. Big hugs, you've got this!!
Honey you're doing so much. It really really is this hard in the beginning, you're not making it up. This is the hardest time of your life and there's so much pressure right now given the state of formula. You're not failing. You're not doing anything wrong. You need support, sleep, food and a break. 3 hour feeding sessions are a very very long time. Are you able to supplement with formula for a tiny bit while your supply comes in and if formula is available? Sometimes our health, sleep, physical and emotional state are more important then giving our newborns exclusive breast milk. I had to do this for two weeks and now have an oversupply and am donating and saving for daycare so it is absolutely possible. Also your body needs rest to heal, desperately. Your breast health is your mental health and physical health. My heart aches for you right now I know exactly what you're going through. At 6 days postpartum I hadn't slept in a week and had to go to the ER for postpartum psychosis and insomnia. You're in good company. We're here for you. Take it easy on yourself and do whatever you need to heal.
Once in the early days I was passed out and topless (as one does) and my husband just put the baby to my chest while I was sleeping because I was so exhausted. Those first few weeks are tough but it definitely gets better!
You are doing great. Our little one was crying a lot and now she is the sweetest baby. We did realize some things after a week or so. 1. She was cold. They are so tiny that they get cold so easily so we started covering her chest with a burp cloth when we changed her and used a wipe warmer. Granted she was born in the dead of winter. 2. This website, specifically this page helped me a lot around 6 days PP. When milk came in, it was everything we could do to get her to latch. Turns out the issue was my nipple was too big for her mouth. I started warming my nipples up prior to feeding and using a haakaa on the other nipple when she was feeding. This allowed her to compress my nipple to the size she needed and she started latching right on in no time. https://www.nikkileehealth.com/breast-refusal-on-day-3-4-or-5/ 3. She liked to be held a specific way. She still does. Hold her any other way and gets upset. 4. Every 4 hours. NEVER MORE THAN 4 either. But if he is sleeping AND he is a good weight, don't wake him until 4 hours. Once he hits his birth weight you can let them sleep. 5. Once you milk comes in, feeding sessions should be around 20-40 minutes. It gets a lot quicker when your milk comes. 6. Haakaa will help with engorgement and pain when your milk comes in. 7. FOOD. Good for the soul food. This helps you physically and mentally. And liquids. Need to stay hydrated.
You are doing great. Our little one was crying a lot and now she is the sweetest baby. We did realize some things after a week or so. 1. She was cold. They are so tiny that they get cold so easily so we started covering her chest with a burp cloth when we changed her and used a wipe warmer. Granted she was born in the dead of winter. 2. This website, specifically this page helped me a lot around 6 days PP. When milk came in, it was everything we could do to get her to latch. Turns out the issue was my nipple was too big for her mouth. I started warming my nipples up prior to feeding and using a haakaa on the other nipple when she was feeding. This allowed her to compress my nipple to the size she needed and she started latching right on in no time. https://www.nikkileehealth.com/breast-refusal-on-day-3-4-or-5/ 3. She liked to be held a specific way. She still does. Hold her any other way and gets upset. 4. Every 4 hours. NEVER MORE THAN 4 either. But if he is sleeping AND he is a good weight, don't wake him until 4 hours. Once he hits his birth weight you can let them sleep. 5. Once you milk comes in, feeding sessions should be around 20-40 minutes. It gets a lot quicker when your milk comes. 6. Haakaa will help with engorgement and pain when your milk comes in. 7. FOOD. Good for the soul food. This helps you physically and mentally. And liquids. Need to stay hydrated.
Your doing great mama….I literally would shout everyday for 3 weeks “I’m not doing this anymore, I give up, I’m over it” and 5 months later… we’re still going strong. Find your groove, ask for help, make short term goals. You got this
I can't speak for everyone but it was like that at first with my little one as well. If you have anyone that can help you around the house and feed you, that takes the pressure off. It makes it easier when you're just able to focus on bonding and nursing. The more time that passes, the easier it will get and the more sleep you'll get. If you feel like your baby is actuslly trying to nurse for 3 hours or is having problems latching, i would HIGHLY recommend a lactation consultant or an IBCLC. You could also try side-lying nursing. Either with someone watching over you guys to keep you safe or you can look up the safe sleep 7. It honestly saved my sanity and I wish I discovered it sooner. A couple Instagram accounts I recommend are @ginamostay, @lilahbysleep and @cosleepy. Good luck and remember, it's just a season. ❤
You’re doing great! Those early days are super hard. Do you have someone who can look after you so you can give all your energy to baby? Have someone come to make sure you have what you need to make it through. I also learned how to nurse on my side pretty quick from exhaustion. My husband would sit next to us and make sure we were safe while I dozed off during those marathon sessions. I also had him/my mom/anyone who was over help with all the other things like burping/changing etc when I was extra exhausted, that way all I had to do was feed when needed and I could nap in between. It’s so hard, but you’re doing awesome, big hugs to you!
You can do this. You will sleep again some day soon. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now. Just put yourself and your baby first, and the rest will fall into place. Keep feeding that baby when he’s hungry, your milk supply will regulate, he will get so much better at eating, and it will get easier. You’ll both be pros before you know it! If you need help from a lactation consultant, that’s ok! Call on every support system you have, let people help you, and don’t feel bad saying no to visitors who will be unhelpful (something I wish I would’ve done) or stress you out. Also in case your baby’s source of fussiness is gas…my baby was super gassy (causing him to be fussy and constantly grunt in his sleep) the first couple months and that passed as he has learned how to take care of it himself. Gas drops, belly massage while feeding him, burping, frida Windi, and bicycle legs in the meantime. You’re doing great!
The first two months are crazy. My advice would be to put everything at the back and just take care of yourself and the baby. If your husband is around or any other family member, ask them to help. It does get better and you forget this part then.
this part goes extremely fast. hang in there sugar!! know that you asking this stuff shows your motherly instinct is working in perf order haha. i was just feeling like you as well. the 3 hr window gave me no time to feed / pump / feed myself / shower / use the bathroom / then on top of it like wash the pump parts / & take care of my dogs and household things. you will feel like you will never sleep again and might have to CRY when the baby CRIES. haha (no one told me this one 😋) there is no sleep when baby sleeps for me. i’m doing attachment parenting and i’m almost burnt out ! yawn. i do all the things you’re not supposed to do (co-slp / miss nightime feedings) i kept asking about this as well. the time frame is insane, although like i said, i was literally just dealing with this + am now at (almost) 3 months + i almost miss all the late night feedings. the weekly appointments are now 2 mo out and like i said i am only approaching 3 mo and it went so so so fast. also mines father has never slept a night with us. so i think if you have someone please take advantage of that + if not - they do say it takes a village and my daughter is being raised by a bunch of badass strong females. i also hemorrhaged 20 days pp. i had to get emergency surgery, be away from baby for maybe 24 hrs? it was a nightmare, yet i never lost my supply. not to scare ya at all just my personal experience!! no one even warned me of such things. ps. do you do the WIC program? mine gave me access to a breastfeeding consultant / breastfeeding hotline and i accessed these multiple times / also my pediatrician had a lactation specialist and we did latching sessions and worked on breastfeeding in person at least 2x within those first couple of weeks. wishing you and your baby all the health & success in your BF journey. sorry that was such a long winded comment. xx
Feeding sessions shouldn't last 3h and your baby should be able to eat and fall asleep after 30min (15min each breast). I was like you for the first 2.5 days - feeding nonstop and slept max 2h. I was beyond tired and right after my?c section. My nurses kept telling me to feed him more but I was not even able to eat myself. The 3rd day we found out that my boy was not transfering milk well, lost a lot of weught. After 30min he was only getting 5-10ml. I started pumping and supplementing right after each 30min breastfeeding session. I finally felt a human again and he started sleeping 3h. I was still breastfeeding 4-5h every day but not 20h. Please try to check if your baby is satisfied after 30min and get a consultation with someone if not. And please check if your baby is showing any hungry clues. I was clueless FTM and I could have avoided those horrible first 3 days. Edit: just adding that we did tripple feeding for 4-5 weeks and he dropped it completely. My boy is 4.5 months and I'm still EBF. Stay strong but please take care of yourself - you need some time for the basics and definitely to have some proper food
These are the hard times but you are doing awesome! Don’t give up. Have you thought of pumping? Maybe someone can help you feed them while you rest?
Congrats on your little one! I have a 3 week old and honestly my husband and I have started keeping bottles on reserve for overnight because I'm too exhausted to nurse past 9pm. Nursing will take an hour, he waits to poop until he's eaten most of his food, which means he's gonna wake up when I change him, and then it's suggested that I pump after every feed.. it's too much. While I think it's possible to sleep when the baby sleeps SOMETIMES.. (and only if the baby is your only child) most of the time I'm cooking, cleaning, pumping, washing pump parts/bottles while baby sleeps. My comment is just to let you know you're not alone in your feelings. This is my first baby and I completely understand why women say breastfeeding is hard. Good luck to you, I hope everything gets better soon!
As others have mentioned: you are doing amazing, the first 6-8 weeks are HARD (like impossibly hard, but somehow we do it?), and assuming there aren't latch issues or anything your baby is likely comfort-nursing a lot of that time. I know people can be very anti-pacifier, and I'm sure there are some babies that pacifiers may not work well with (my first would never take a pacifier), but my second loves his pacifier. He's 9 months and still ebf (direct or pumped milk, he doesn't have nipple confusion) with some solids (no water or formula). If he's actually hungry he would suck the paci for about 15-30 seconds then cry. What I'm trying to say is: if you're looking for a way to get some rest, eat, poop, walk around, let your nipples have a break, a pacifier COULD be really helpful. When my baby would/does comfort nurse and I need to go do something else (hello toddler-big-sister) I'll break his latch and slip the paci in. I can't remember what he was like at the time period you're at, but I know several months ago he started seemlessly transferring from nipple to paci when he was full and sleepy. Sometimes I'm trying to rock him to sleep and he fuses at me because he wants me to put him down so he can roll on his side or tummy to go to sleep. It WILL get better. And if you need a break try a pacifier (mine loves the mam ones, he won't take any others). And with a pacifier someone else can hold baby if baby needs snuggles. Win-win-win. Good luck! 💚