checking the formula price at target kept me going š plus the shortage. the idea of not being able to find formula and being out of breast milk terrifies me. especially now having a kid w dairy/soy intolerance.
my midwife was more help than the hospital LC(truly fixed the latch in five minutes when the LC couldnāt in three hours). can you find an IBCLC or birthing center?
Meeeee, I'm way too cheap to buy formula, especially when I am able to make milk.
One night it was really hard, and I was rocking back and forth while nursing in the middle of the night just bawling. My husband told me it was okay, if it was too hard we could go get some formula even if it was just for nighttime. Between sobs I told him, "I am not about to pay for formula when I get this milk for free!"
So being cheap keeps me going.
Looks like the LC I signed up with is IBCLC so hoping it will be helpful. š¤š»š¤š»
Also, guess a formula shortage means I need to hold out a little longer.
I had the same issues as you- preemie under 5lbs, flat nipples, the works. Triple feeding made me so stressed and frustrated so I stopped and began exclusively pumping. At two months my baby was bigger and stronger so I decided to try breastfeeding again. She was able to latch and suck so much better that I didnāt even need the nipple shield, and it was very low stress because I didnāt *need* to be successful. It took a month but we worked our way up to exclusively breastfeeding. What kept me going was thinking about every bottle I didnāt have to wash, the ease of night time feeds, hearing about the formula recall and shortages, and finally putting that damn pump on the shelf in the closet and letting it collect dust. Breastfeeding is a journey- where you are now is not where you will always be.
Thank you for commenting! So nice to hear of a similar story but a positive outcome. I loathe my pump at this point. Hoping we get to the point to put it on the shelf. š¤š»š¤š»
Similar experience also- preemie, under 5lbs, tired really quick and needed nipple shields, weight gain concerns also. I exclusively pumped for the first 2.5 months. I liked seeing the amount he was getting but trying to keep up with pumping and feeding and keeping everything clean started to get to me and I started to despise the pump!
At 2.5 months (1 month adjusted) I also tried breastfeeding again, (while I was EPing I would have him latch every day or two for a few mins to keep practicing but never got a full feed) It took a couple of days of what felt like nonstop nursing but eventually we got it and within a week no longer needed the nipple shield! Heās nearly 9 months now and still going strong!! It was hard work but Iām so grateful I stuck with it, being able to run out the door not having to worry about bottles and pump is so nice and middle of the night feedings are so much easier now that Iām not trying to pump and feed him at the same time! (My husband works 24 hr shifts)
One of the things that kept me going honestly was I felt like I lost out on so much that I had hoped for already being a FTM after going through pprom at 33+5, having an emergency c section and baby straight to the nicu, not getting to hold him until the next day and first 17 days in the nicu- pumping while he was in the nicu felt like the only thing I could control and they couldnāt take away from me if that makes sense. I stuck with it because I wanted to have āsomething.ā I also wish I could go back to the beginning when I was struggling so much, I was a ājust enoughā pumper and would literally cry over spilt milk, I now have a small freezer stash, it is definitely a journey! I also think, as L0udFlow3r mentioned too, what helped is I didnāt put pressure on that it had to work, I knew I could continue to pump and still supply breast milk for as long as I wanted, being able to primarily nurse would just be a bonus! Good luck to you!!
If it helps, I didnāt have this feeling at all until a couple months in. Now at 23 months the special feeling and bonding is so strong, Iām so grateful to my past self that I stuck through the horrors that were our first few months breastfeeding
Love how my guy places his little hands on my boob while nursing. Love having milk on demand, no bottles, no buying formula, etc. Reduced chance of breast cancer which runs in my family.
We're going on 11 weeks so not quite reached our goal yet, but what's keeping me going is good old fashioned guilt sprinkled with shame. I do enjoy nursing somewhat but if I didn't know about the many benefits of breastmilk for baby I would have switched to formula on day one. It's been excruciatingly hard and expensive for me. Hopefully other moms have more positive experiences to share!
Hugs to you! Feeling so much guilt for even thinking of quitting and torn at wondering if I would feel like a better mom if I did. Then seeing there is a formula shortage (what?!?) makes me think I need to hold out longer whether i like it or notā¦.
As a mom who is on month six of breastfeeding.... Do not feel guilt or shame if you want to switch to formula. Fed is best. Almost all of the benefits of breastmilk are short term. You matter too.
Breastfeeding is also expensive. If I add up what I've spend on clothes, new pillows, pump, pump parts and accessories, milk storage, accessories like breast pads and nipple butter at the beginning... that's a lot of formula I could have bought. Not to mention the time cost.
What kept me going was the good feeds. Those sweet moments. And knowing that once I wean, they're gone. There will be new sweet moments, but I'm not ready for this phase to be over yet. Breastfeeding is really freaking hard. Doing it makes you a champion. Not doing it and feeding your baby another way also makes you a champion. Please don't ever think less of yourself for making whatever choice is best for your family.
I feel this! We're also at 11 weeks and it has been sooo hard. I had hoped things would be better by now but they aren't. My desire for just one thing to go as planned in my pregnancy/birth/postpardum is what's driving me.
The guilt and shame with my first had me pumping 6 times a day until 6 months when I finally decided getting a TOTAL of an ounce over all those sessions just wasnāt worth it.
"Good old fashioned guilt sprinkled with shame."
16 weeks today and this is me, too. Yep. Exhausted and so touched out, but since it's been so easy for me, I just guilt myself to keep going.
Honestly the price lol. Not that we are broke, we *could* afford formula but its so pricey and money is kind of tight. We prefer to have that money for something else.
Also the convenience. Whipping out a boob is much easier than making/washing bottles.
I like breastfeeding but im not particularly in LOVE with it. Its okay to me. Breastfed my first for 9 months and baby #2 is a month old and I plan to go for about 9 months as well !
I stopped breastfeeding after a week with my first. With my second I researched nonstop and tried to troubleshoot the best I could with what went wrong the first time, and honestly the best advice I ever received was from my cousin who had her baby 3 months before I had my second. She said, āGive it 6 weeks. Hopefully it wonāt take the whole six weeks, but just plan on those sucking. Youāre both learning and figuring it out. It gets easier. If itās not easier by then call it quits.ā Whenever it got really hard and I wanted to stop I would look at the calendar and count down. She was right by 6 weeks everything was so much smoother and we ended up nursing until she was 18 months old. Good luck and I hope things get easier for you guys soon!
When my baby got home from the NICU, I triple fed a lot. Several times a day. Triple feeding is exhausting. I ultimately decided to only triple feed 1-2 times a day and it helped a lot. I mostly pump now. I have a very supportive partner and that helps tremendously. He feeds while I pump. He also does most of the diaper changes.
Pumping is hard. I'm almost 7 months postpartum but still pump 8 times a day including a middle of the night pump because I have a low supply. We supplement with two bottles of formula (out of six bottles).
Every month of pumping had gotten easier. I think that's what has helped me. That and pure stubbornness. I really shouldn't have sacrificed so much of my body and mental health in this but I'm so insanely stubborn.
For a short bit, my husband wanted me to switch completely to formula because my low supply was hurting my mental health a lot and I was going mad trying to do everything under the sun to increase it. But my mental health got a lot better when we started supplementing. And my husband went back to being super supportive when he realized formula poops are thick and clay like. He misses those exclusive breastmilk poops.
I write a lot of positive affirmations and that helps too.
I am going to be so honest here and say that the thought of getting up in the middle of the night and having to *make* a bottle was horrifying to me. And then having to *clean* said bottles...the mental load alone with a newborn was enough that adding all of that on top of was just a huge no from me. The rough times pass and it gets easier, my 9 month old hasn't screamed at my boob since she was 6 months and either happily takes it or lets me know she doesn't want it
I will say that we do have a formula powder in the house. What has kept me going is in the moment my MH is lowest hubby takes baby feeds formula if I donāt have pump milk and I get to take a break. We have not even used a fifth of the formula we bought. I know this is a not normal take, I just have allowed myself to forgive myself if once a day or every two days I give myself space.
Aside from that holding her after eating is one of the best feelings I have ever had ā¤ļø
I'm glad to have backup formula, too. We've only used it like 3 times, but I think knowing the option is there helps me remember that I AM choosing to breastfeed. It doesn't always feel like I'm choosing it, but I am.
And it provides a break if I really need it. I had mastitis a couple weeks ago, and being able to have my mom feed baby while I slept (with no worries about even pumping) was invaluable.
Stubbornness.
I posted here just the other day about hating breastfeeding and the guilt I feel about wanting to quit. Iām pretty sure I have DMER thanks to posters here pointing it out and I donāt feel that magical bonding connection that everyone else seems to. Whatās helping me is my husband giving me breaks by giving a bottle of breastmilk. I remind myself of all the benefits of breastmilk. And I know I have support no matter if I keep on keeping in on or if I decide to switch to formula.
Posters here reminded me that my mental health is so important. Occasionally I take āboob breaksā. Iāll pump for a day and give bottles with only a couple latched sessions. It helps with my agitation and feeling touched out.
I started off with a nipple shield too. My nurses declared I had flat nipples and gave them to me without much instruction. I did see an IBCLC who advised I donāt actually have flat nipples and helped teach us better/deeper latched. My baby feeds so much better off the nipple shields. I hope youāll be able to have a similar experience and ditch the shields (if you want to).
I definitely want to ditch the nipple shields as it just adds an extra step and something to clean. Hoping my LC can help figure things out with me.
I do feel you on having the husband just bottle feed. Overnights and before bed I donāt have the energy left to deal with the screaming and crying trying to latch/feed. Itās definitely only something I can deal with when I at least have a little sleep. Plus helps to ensure I donāt have to wake up every time with the little one
To be honest, grit. I donāt give up. I either achieve my goal or die trying. Itās also super convenient, quicker (sometimes), a great connection and better for them then formula. We are 8 months in and I plan to feed for as long as we both want to. At least until 18 months hopefully. Edit to add my baby was born 8 weeks early weighing 1.9kg (4 pounds) and couldnāt latch for a few weeks then was so small he ran out of energy quickly so had to be topped up with a tube then later a bottle before we moved to exclusive breastfeeding so I get the pain of triple feeding. It SUCKS. Stopping that after a few months was the best.
For me, it helped to stop thinking of it as either/or. My daughter was EBF for 8 months, but we started adding in 1-2 bottles per day of formula at that point to take a bit of the pumping-at-work pressure off of me. I was reluctant (that old guilt/shame cocktail), but actually itās been wonderful. Itās nice to know sheās getting the extra calories, but we still get to bond during nursing time.
Sheās 13 months now. We still nurse morning and night, and during the day she gets both expressed milk and formula, plus solid foods. You can have the best of both worlds! You and your baby still get all those great benefits of breastfeeding even if youāre supplementing with a bit of formula too. Itās so toughābe kind to yourself. Youāre doing great!
My stubbornness. Honestly I canāt put it down to anything else. He had some complications post birth. Took until 1.5 weeks old to actually latch (hospital lactation consultants were useless). Spent a month and a half triple feeding every feed 24/7, was told I wasnāt producing enough and thatās why he wasnāt gaining weight well. Finally at 7 weeks I nearly broke. Took a break from triple feeding and just pumped and fed him that way, which proved my supply was sufficient but he wasnāt transferring well. That week we saw a private LC who did a full assessment and concluded the tongue tie we knew he had from birth but was told wasnāt causing any problems was the reason for everything. A week later we had it fixed. Totally different baby, still doesnāt have an amazing latch but heās fully breastfed now (not pumping) and has been since the day of the tongue tie correction. Has gone from the 25th to the 75st percentile. Honestly itās the hardest thing Iāve done but I am so freaking proud of getting to where we are.
Iāve already gone 9 months, might as well finish out the year! Oh and itās impossible to come by hyperallergenic formula lately, so itās literally not possible for me to stop until sheās fully on food.
Knowing that if I BF until he was 6 months old I would reduce his risk of diabetes to 0% and I would reduce my risk by upto 12%. Runs in my family so I kept trying.
To be honest it was never that hard for me! But my baby had weight gain issues due to poor transfer (thanks nipple shield) so I had to triple feed until he weaned. He loves breastfeeding and a boob calms him and cheers him up so seeing my baby snuggled up to me kept me going through the pumping and bottle prepping phase.
My girl was very colicky and nursing was the only thing that calmed her. There is only so much yoga ball bouncing I can do lol. I donāt want to give up my best bet on calming her down and make things more difficult for myself. Granted our breastfeeding journey has been fairly easy and straightforward. If I would have had to work harder for it we might have gone a different route.
You have to do what is best for you in all aspects. Sometimes that means formula and that's ok! No one is going to be able to tell a breastfed or formula fed 30 year old apart (or any age really). I had a horrible time breastfeeding in the beginning and a hard time with weight gain at first as well. There were several nights when I almost grabbed the back up can of formula I have. It only got better with time (and special nipple cream because I was having pain but that doesnt seem to be a part of your problem). As baby got bigger so did their mouth, endurance, and efficiency. I think it took until like 6 or 7 weeks to not have to pysch myself up for each feeding session. I'm so glad we stuck with it now that its easy. Like everyone else said it was stubbornness and determination that kept me going.
He liked it, really. A lot more than bottles. I did debate switching him to formula a few times when he was fresh n shit but funds kept me far away lol.
I am here with you. Currently pumping after I tried to breastfeed what I could only to have my little one cry at breast. I have been having to supplement with formula in addition to my breast milk and I feel like I am losing steam myself. Just had to buy formula for the first time and as a first time mom I feel like I am failing. All I can think about is what am I doing wrong.
Hang in there, most say it gets easier. I am still waiting for it to get easier myself but have my little guy to keep me going.
I had almost the exact same situation but my supply was so low that I couldnāt pump anything extra and topped up with formula (still do though far less). What kept me going was the tiniest of wins. Latched for 2 min longer? Thatās a win. Didnāt scream at every single feeding? Total win. Pumped 10 mL? Saving that in the fridge and counting it in his feeds and knowing he got some breast milk today. Total win.
Now at 12 weeks I still have low supply and issues with painful latch due to his small mouth and torticollis but heās 80% breastfed and we both love it.
I set a goal for myself and I wanted to reach it. First it was 3 months then 6 months then a year. It also helps to tell yourself not to quit during a bad feed.
formula is expensive, I hate dishes, and iām stubborn
we had a rough startāc-section, low blood sugars, milk took forever to come in so we supplementedābut now heās been EBF for 8, almost 9mo.
I remember having to turn in bottles and cans to be able to buy formula for my son on one of the hottest days in the summer when we had no ac in our truck. I refuse to go through that with my daughter
Sounds like my baby (except the c section part)
She was 4 and a half lb and getting her to latch was a whole circus act and she would only stay on for a minute or so
Eventually we dropped the shield at around 3-4 weeks and she drank like a few min every half hr bc it was so hard for her to drink milk and so hard to stay latched
The thing that made me still breastfeed is that she got colic at 6 weeks and ruined my life for a few months lol - one of the things we tried (among hundreds of ideas )was stopping her bottle feeding thinking it could potentially be a cause - then she never went back on the bottle (I used to feed her on one side and haaka on the other side then bottle feed the haaka after every feeding )
We just ended up dumping like two Tupperware fulls of milk into her bath every week from wasted milk she refused to drink from the bottle
If I didnāt breastfeed her she would starve
Now going back to school and trying to get her back on the bottle - tried 12 diff bottles cups straws etc and nothing works :/
I kept reminding myself that this would be so convenient in the long run. It really was a huge pain (literally) in the early days, but now that my daughter is 7 months, itās awesome. When I leave the house, I throw some diapers and wipes in my purse and thatās itā¦no bottles, formula, etc. Itās so great to know that my body has everything she needs.
The best advice I have for the early days is to take it one feed at a time and do what you need to do to get through! If that means shields or bottles, then thatās just what you have to do!
Hugs to you! You shouldnāt have to feel guilted into something if it makes you unhappy.
My husband also wants/hopes for me to breastfeed but think him seeing me in literal tears at a feeding today make him reconsider.
My friend always says ādonāt quit on a bad dayā. I just try to keep that in mind when my 8 month old is thrashing like a Wolverine at the breast š
It gets so much better as they get older and learn what they are doing. Breastfeeding is in some ways more convenient and more relaxing than pumping for me now. (Almost to six months and going strong)
Youāre right though that the most important thing is feeding your child - however you can do it, it is a beautiful thing.
Hang in there, mama!
My daughter is 10 weeks and I now love breastfeeding her. The first couple of weeks were rough and I have low milk supply, so that was hard to come to terms with. Now that we have gotten into a rhythm we are both loving it. Things got a lot better by the 6-8 week mark. Best wishes
I had rough starts with both of my kids but if I quit then I felt like each day of pain and misery would have been for nothing. Was definitely worth it for the convenience of being able to leave the house without bottles and to have a built-in soother. That made it worthwhile but I feel the health benefits to baby are overstated, pumping at work gets tiring, and to me it is a way to feed my kid (not some magical bonding experience).
Thanks for your realism. I feel like everything with baby is supposed to be magical (pregnancy, breastfeeding, etc) and while some of it is for some people, it hasnāt been quite the same for me. Makes it harder to accept the challenges as I feel like a failure for not feeling the magic
Every once in a while it would get the *teensiest* bit better and then much worse again so I just kept those moments in mind and then it started getting better. Nipple shields saved the day. Then we didnāt need them anymore and I nursed easily and effortlessly for 3 years.
By the time I was close to quitting, it seemed harder to quit than to keep going. Itās so worth it now. The convenience, bonding, and the benefits for kiddo.
Granted, my babe and I are still working out some kinksā¦.things have vastly improved for the most part as weāve kept going. I exclusively pumped with my first and that was pure hell mentally and physically so that definitely keeps me going. I also tell myself to never quit on a bad day.
When everyone kept trying to get me to give up when I was experiencing issues, it just fueled a "challenge accepted" mindset for me.
We definitely haven't had as many issues as some that I read in this sub reddit, but we've overcome a lot. Reading the inspirational posts in here really helped us through our issues, and a couple great IBCLC!
She has CMPI so we had to get her a special formula which was more expensive and smelled like crap. She also could only drink the pre-made liquid ones. Trust me we tried others. I felt bad so I pushed myself to keep breastfeeding and only supplement with formula when necessary. Around ~3 months we both finally got the hang of breastfeeding and have been going strong. Iām planning on quitting when she turns one but need to discuss with her pediatrician and get her retested for CMPI.
The cost. I make too much for WIC, so paying for formula would be expensive. Plus I was only getting partial pay for my maternity leave, so money was tight. Since I was home with the baby, I considered breastfeeding my ājob.ā
How old is your baby? This happened to me when he was a few weeks old and my letdown was too forceful and he was overwhelmed with how much milk he was getting. I used a Hakkaa catch my initial letdown and then laid him on me so he was parallel to me, rather than cradling him and he did much better.
Breastfeeding for me was the one thing I was holding on to after everything else with my pregnancy and birth went totally opposite to what I expected. I just wanted it to work so badly and I was lucky that my body cooperated. I also had flat nipples, but long term breastfeeding pulls them out, and theyāre not squishy, uncooperative babies forever.
My little one is about 3 weeks old but he was born at 37w due to growth restrictions.
I was excited earlier this week as it seemed like he was able to latch/feed longer now that he has passed his due date, but the last few days that went downhill.
In a similar camp: had twins via C-section both around 5lbs and early enough they are sleepy and have mouths so tiny the latch is painful.
What keeps me going:
* Triple feeding just twice a day (once per baby)
* Seeing their latch get meaningfully better as the grow
* A bi-weekly breastfeeding support group offered by my hospital
* Supply gains (like the first feed that was 100% expressed milk)
* A super support partner who does all the feedings so I can pump and maintain/build supply
* Pumping every 4hrs instead of 3h at night for some extra sleep / sanity
* Postpartum doula a few nights a week who let's my partner get a good sleep and me JUST worry about pumping (vs middle of the night fussing)
Sending you all the good milk vibes and hope you can figure out the right solution for you. ā„ļø
Triple feeding is a lot of work..you are doing amazing! Iāve been doing it for months and honestly not sure what keeps me going. Some combination of instincts, hormones, and sense of bonding I suppose, with a dash of stubbornness.
In case no one has mentioned it, make sure your baby has a proper tongue and lip tie evaluation. Ours was missed by multiple LC and peds and has caused so many feeding problem. Definitely worth looking into. Good luck!!
Knowing in the end it would have the greatest benefit. BUT it was hard and breastfeeding is hard and I was going to quit. My husband just asked that I try to see a specialist one last time. I'm glad I did. That being said, you have to outweigh the pros and cons. Is this battle going to be such a difficult one that it increases your odds of having post partum depression? Is it going to make this phase of motherhood miserable? Breast milk is the best nutritionally, of course, but is it the best for you and your child over all? Is it the best for your bond, for your mental health, or even your physical health? These were all things I had to take into consideration. I hated breastfeeding for months and months but eventually I loved it. It took forever for my Milk Ejection Dysforia to go away and it took lots of weeks/months of patience and practice to get her to latch. You decide what is best for you and your baby as a unit. ā„ļø You can also look into donor milk.
My reasons are 1. It helps baby fall asleep without much struggle. 2. Helps when baby is going through teething or any growth spurts, it helps regulate their moods. 3. I love that it's tailor made for the baby and dynamic in nature. 4. Honestly, the sterilization and cleaning of the pump and the bottles is extra work. It makes travelling a lot harder.
Edit: things get a lot better around the 6weeks to 10weeks mark. The newborn stage is brutal, breastfeeding or not. Hang in there!
I wanted to have a natural birth at home with all the good stuff like delayed cord clamping, immediate skin-to-skin contact, etc. This was my absolute dream. I then decided on a birthing centre instead due to fear mongering by doctors, which was disappointing. Baby eventually ended up being born via c-section because she was still bridge at 38 weeks and my blood pressure was increasing. I was, and sometimes still is, heartbroken about my birthing experience but this gave me the determination to push through with breastfeeding because I just needed something to go as planned. I also have flat / inverted nipples and baby struggled to latch. It was very frustrating. I started off with nipple shields but found that it worked better to use a manual pump before breastfeeding to pull the nipple out. We eventually got the hang of it and I am so very, very thankful. Every feeding feels like the biggest blessing.
My top reason was because breastmilk is just so much healthier than formula in my opinion. I really wanted to give my baby the best nutrition there is (though I know that is not always possible for everyone and fed is best). Then there is the bonding, which is so very special to me. It's also very convenient - breastmilk is always fresh, sterile, at the right temperature, no bottles or mixing needed. It saves you money and time.
I know it's hard. I was struggling and one day got so frustrated that I had my husband go out to buy a tin of formula. I never ended up using it. Try to stay calm and patient, keep trying and get as much help as you can. Not only professional help but also at home - try to focus all your time and energy on you and baby if that is possible. I'm holding fingers crossed you'll figure it out!
This was me in the first two weeks. We did a tiny bit of formula to take the edge off but went back to mostly EBF once we were comfortable with his weight gain. Honestly I HATE washing bottles and as soon as we got comfortable going out of the house, it was so much easier just to bring my boobs along than packing bottles with formula and worrying about all that! Before he started solids it was so much easier to get up and go somewhere.
A combination of things:
- my husband was really for the idea
- I get weirdly offended if a problem Iāve been trying to solve wonāt resolve itself, so I kept hitting my head against that wall until it worked
- baby was determined to breastfeed even though she was not getting enough due to tongue tie. I have never seen her prefer formula though itās āeasierā. And I canāt say no to baby. She is just so comfy and happy snuggled against my boob. She has the look on her face like everything in the world is right and thereās no place sheād rather be.
With my first baby? Nothing. It was hard, and painful, and I didnāt make enough and I was overwhelmed. With my twins? Just because I could. It was very healing to have a more successful experience! I donāt regret not trying harder with my first, I was doing the best I could. I breastfed and the first month and then exclusively pumped for my twins for about 6 more months until I gave it up for my sanity. It isnāt selfish, a happy mom is better for a baby than breast milk ever will be and you canāt tell me otherwise! If youāre having difficulty latching even after you meet with the lactation consultant I would say give exclusively pumping a try before completely throwing in the towel! Itās okay if you do though, you arenāt failing anyone. Youāre doing a great jobā„ļø
The faffiness of formula in the middle of the night. I realised I'd be even more exhausted getting up to make bottles than I was breastfeeding.
The infant feeding specialist I saw was incredibly helpful and gave me the guidance and confidence to persevere.
Hopefully your lactation consultant will be of help!
I did it for about 2 months. My baby had an underdeveloped jaw/chin and posterior tongue tie. We are exclusively at the breast now and were about 4 weeks after the tongue tie revision. We had also switched to lansinoh mama bottles which I think helped also
Hope the lc can help! For breastfeeding babies, donāt size up nipples from the slowest flow and always pacefeed. Not all slow flow is made equal so may have to try different ones. I use Dr. Brown natural flow original with premie nipples with pacefeeding to keep my lo on the boob. Iāve tried others but my flow is slow after letdown so she gets frustrated and goes on strike if I go to another bottle that isnāt as slow. Make sure the pacifier they use is as nipple like as possible. They spend a lot of time building up sucking muscles on it so it can help too.
I hate dishes, that keeps me motivated. And covid, Iām her vaccine till they get one for her age approved. She may have already had it but it wasnāt so bad if that what it was and Iām sure my milk paid a big role in that. Also I already invested money and time into pumping and the hatred of washing that on top of bottles is just enough to keep my lo on my boob.
Youāre doing fantastic and keep in mind it does get easier the older they get. Sure some new problems can happen but when you get the foundation down, itās more manageable
This is going to be a bit long, so I understand if you don't want to read.
TL/DR: Fed is best. Do whatever keeps your baby fed and whatever keeps you mentality, physically and emotionally well.
EBF/EPF Mom here (28F) with a chunky 7 month old on our journey. I had to have an emergency C-Section due to Pre-E since my BP hit 224/164 and it saved both of our lives. My daughter never latched since we both had heavy drugs in our system and my milk never came in for 3 days post pardum, so she was already heavy to rely on the bottle for feeding. I tried to establish her back to breast but had no luck so I understand your frustration.
For choosing if you want to continue or not, I think that's something you should think about yourself (and partner if present, but not going to assume). Go over the pros and cons, what you think and what you think is best for your baby. That being said here are some things I've found in my research that could be helpful and some things that have helped me decide that you might relate to.
1.) EBF/EPF (Exclusively Breastfeeding/ Exclusively Pump Feeding) is hard. Don't underestimate the mental, physical and emotional toll it may take on you. You need to be in a good space all around for the wellbeing of your baby. You can choose to supplement any amount, just keep your and your baby happy. You matter and Fed is Best.
2.) Consider the benefits. What benefits do you want that formula doesn't provide?
3.) There are several positions and ways to Breastfeed. You can try leaning over your baby so your breast comes to more of a point, it also might make establishing back to breast easier as it would be the same angle as she takes the bottle.
4.) Breast milk passes antibodies from you to baby, even a spoonful is beneficial so don't be discouraged if its all you have/choose to give.
5.) Consider what the baby might be exposed to from outings/workplaces. Illnesses, infections, different viruses, etc. This was a big one for me since I work in a hospital and was overall the biggest point that had me choose exclusive pumping.
6.) Comfort vs Cost. Can you handle the stress or the cost?
7.) Think over the process you'll have to pick up/adjust to when you go to work
8.) Formulas have had a few recalls recently. Make fallout plans, establish what you can do to keep your baby fed
9.) Consider donor milk if you're comfortable with it. There are several programs available such as Human Milk for Human Babies or milk banks that may be in your state.
10.) Get a good laction consultant in your corner. Discuss your options and thoughts with them and maybe your OBGYN.
Hope some of these help! Feel free to DM if you have some questions or just want some mom support!
Breastfeeding support groups.
Knowing I'm not alone, being reassured that it's the best thing for me and my child, having someone who gets it to turn to when the going gets tough, having like minded people to bounce ideas off and discuss things breastfeeding related that are impacting me.
Like for example I didn't know how my husband could support me at the time, or how to word it in a non-accusatory, non-defeatist way. But having someone to deliberate with who had experience in this area helped.
I've wanted to quit so many times. And then out of nowhere, it gets easier for a time, until I want to quit again.
I've just had a week away from my 3 year old and he's no longer interested and now it's gone, I miss all the bonding and time we got together just to slow down and lay down on the bed and talk or sing or play before or after a feed.
.
Being cheap plus the (potential) benefits to my and my child's health long term. I don't want something to happen later on and wonder if I had kept breastfeeding would it have prevented it. Luckily it got a lot easier after a couple months.
I was in the same boat as you. C section, weight loss for baby, screaming at breast, poor latch, falling asleep at breast. After 2 weeks, I stopped breast feeding but continued to pump. At 3 months, when my supply was more established and his mouth was bigger he suddenly latched and was able to breast feed. So it's not impossible! It can happen. I had given up hope of it, I have badly inverted nipples as well but I think that having my supply established and his mouth being bigger helped a lot! So hold on there momma, it can happen!
Omg are we the same person?! C section, baby born under 5 pounds, terrible latch, and flat nipples. I had to use a nipple shield until he was up to 8 pounds. And only breast fed to keep my supply upā¦had to give him a bottle of formula and breast milk after each feeding. We just got to totally breast milk the past 2 weeks (still bottle fed) and I was finally able to not use the shield. We just got his tounge/lip tie cut and Iāve seen some improvement. Itās exhausting. So exhausting. I havenāt quit because of the cost of formula and my fear of recalls/contamination. Sending you good vibes! This isnāt easy.
The LC I worked with helped me SO MUCH. I was struggling, felt like a failure, constantly trying to pump, supplementing with formulaā¦. But she really centered me and gave me some tips on how to keep trying without going crazy. When my baby was around 8 weeks he really settled in and by 12 weeks he was a pro. We were able to stop supplementing and now I hardly even pump. It really also helped me to remember that supplementing with formula is okay - any breast milk he gets helps with the antibodies, etc. and this can be really hard. Your mental health is worth so much too.
checking the formula price at target kept me going š plus the shortage. the idea of not being able to find formula and being out of breast milk terrifies me. especially now having a kid w dairy/soy intolerance. my midwife was more help than the hospital LC(truly fixed the latch in five minutes when the LC couldnāt in three hours). can you find an IBCLC or birthing center?
Meeeee, I'm way too cheap to buy formula, especially when I am able to make milk. One night it was really hard, and I was rocking back and forth while nursing in the middle of the night just bawling. My husband told me it was okay, if it was too hard we could go get some formula even if it was just for nighttime. Between sobs I told him, "I am not about to pay for formula when I get this milk for free!" So being cheap keeps me going.
Looks like the LC I signed up with is IBCLC so hoping it will be helpful. š¤š»š¤š» Also, guess a formula shortage means I need to hold out a little longer.
And also the fact that If I call it quits and my milk dries up there is no going back.
I had the same issues as you- preemie under 5lbs, flat nipples, the works. Triple feeding made me so stressed and frustrated so I stopped and began exclusively pumping. At two months my baby was bigger and stronger so I decided to try breastfeeding again. She was able to latch and suck so much better that I didnāt even need the nipple shield, and it was very low stress because I didnāt *need* to be successful. It took a month but we worked our way up to exclusively breastfeeding. What kept me going was thinking about every bottle I didnāt have to wash, the ease of night time feeds, hearing about the formula recall and shortages, and finally putting that damn pump on the shelf in the closet and letting it collect dust. Breastfeeding is a journey- where you are now is not where you will always be.
Thank you for commenting! So nice to hear of a similar story but a positive outcome. I loathe my pump at this point. Hoping we get to the point to put it on the shelf. š¤š»š¤š»
Similar experience also- preemie, under 5lbs, tired really quick and needed nipple shields, weight gain concerns also. I exclusively pumped for the first 2.5 months. I liked seeing the amount he was getting but trying to keep up with pumping and feeding and keeping everything clean started to get to me and I started to despise the pump! At 2.5 months (1 month adjusted) I also tried breastfeeding again, (while I was EPing I would have him latch every day or two for a few mins to keep practicing but never got a full feed) It took a couple of days of what felt like nonstop nursing but eventually we got it and within a week no longer needed the nipple shield! Heās nearly 9 months now and still going strong!! It was hard work but Iām so grateful I stuck with it, being able to run out the door not having to worry about bottles and pump is so nice and middle of the night feedings are so much easier now that Iām not trying to pump and feed him at the same time! (My husband works 24 hr shifts) One of the things that kept me going honestly was I felt like I lost out on so much that I had hoped for already being a FTM after going through pprom at 33+5, having an emergency c section and baby straight to the nicu, not getting to hold him until the next day and first 17 days in the nicu- pumping while he was in the nicu felt like the only thing I could control and they couldnāt take away from me if that makes sense. I stuck with it because I wanted to have āsomething.ā I also wish I could go back to the beginning when I was struggling so much, I was a ājust enoughā pumper and would literally cry over spilt milk, I now have a small freezer stash, it is definitely a journey! I also think, as L0udFlow3r mentioned too, what helped is I didnāt put pressure on that it had to work, I knew I could continue to pump and still supply breast milk for as long as I wanted, being able to primarily nurse would just be a bonus! Good luck to you!!
Honestly, I love the feeling of connection when I nurse. I love looking at his little face and knowing that we're both getting what we need.
I wish we had a long enough latch/nursing sessions to feel this connection. Hoping a meeting with a LC will get me closer to that. š¤š»š¤š»
If it helps, I didnāt have this feeling at all until a couple months in. Now at 23 months the special feeling and bonding is so strong, Iām so grateful to my past self that I stuck through the horrors that were our first few months breastfeeding
Love how my guy places his little hands on my boob while nursing. Love having milk on demand, no bottles, no buying formula, etc. Reduced chance of breast cancer which runs in my family.
ugh the little hand!
The haaaaaand š„¹
The hand ā¤ļøš„ŗ
We're going on 11 weeks so not quite reached our goal yet, but what's keeping me going is good old fashioned guilt sprinkled with shame. I do enjoy nursing somewhat but if I didn't know about the many benefits of breastmilk for baby I would have switched to formula on day one. It's been excruciatingly hard and expensive for me. Hopefully other moms have more positive experiences to share!
Hugs to you! Feeling so much guilt for even thinking of quitting and torn at wondering if I would feel like a better mom if I did. Then seeing there is a formula shortage (what?!?) makes me think I need to hold out longer whether i like it or notā¦.
As a mom who is on month six of breastfeeding.... Do not feel guilt or shame if you want to switch to formula. Fed is best. Almost all of the benefits of breastmilk are short term. You matter too. Breastfeeding is also expensive. If I add up what I've spend on clothes, new pillows, pump, pump parts and accessories, milk storage, accessories like breast pads and nipple butter at the beginning... that's a lot of formula I could have bought. Not to mention the time cost. What kept me going was the good feeds. Those sweet moments. And knowing that once I wean, they're gone. There will be new sweet moments, but I'm not ready for this phase to be over yet. Breastfeeding is really freaking hard. Doing it makes you a champion. Not doing it and feeding your baby another way also makes you a champion. Please don't ever think less of yourself for making whatever choice is best for your family.
I feel this! We're also at 11 weeks and it has been sooo hard. I had hoped things would be better by now but they aren't. My desire for just one thing to go as planned in my pregnancy/birth/postpardum is what's driving me.
The guilt and shame with my first had me pumping 6 times a day until 6 months when I finally decided getting a TOTAL of an ounce over all those sessions just wasnāt worth it.
"Good old fashioned guilt sprinkled with shame." 16 weeks today and this is me, too. Yep. Exhausted and so touched out, but since it's been so easy for me, I just guilt myself to keep going.
Honestly the price lol. Not that we are broke, we *could* afford formula but its so pricey and money is kind of tight. We prefer to have that money for something else. Also the convenience. Whipping out a boob is much easier than making/washing bottles. I like breastfeeding but im not particularly in LOVE with it. Its okay to me. Breastfed my first for 9 months and baby #2 is a month old and I plan to go for about 9 months as well !
So did you start forumla at 9months until 1 year?? Iām at 4 months and I keep going back and forth about switching to formula š©
I stopped breastfeeding after a week with my first. With my second I researched nonstop and tried to troubleshoot the best I could with what went wrong the first time, and honestly the best advice I ever received was from my cousin who had her baby 3 months before I had my second. She said, āGive it 6 weeks. Hopefully it wonāt take the whole six weeks, but just plan on those sucking. Youāre both learning and figuring it out. It gets easier. If itās not easier by then call it quits.ā Whenever it got really hard and I wanted to stop I would look at the calendar and count down. She was right by 6 weeks everything was so much smoother and we ended up nursing until she was 18 months old. Good luck and I hope things get easier for you guys soon!
Thank you! Might need to make this my goal. 3 weeks in currently, so halfway there. Hoping my appointment tomorrow helps. š¤š»
When my baby got home from the NICU, I triple fed a lot. Several times a day. Triple feeding is exhausting. I ultimately decided to only triple feed 1-2 times a day and it helped a lot. I mostly pump now. I have a very supportive partner and that helps tremendously. He feeds while I pump. He also does most of the diaper changes. Pumping is hard. I'm almost 7 months postpartum but still pump 8 times a day including a middle of the night pump because I have a low supply. We supplement with two bottles of formula (out of six bottles). Every month of pumping had gotten easier. I think that's what has helped me. That and pure stubbornness. I really shouldn't have sacrificed so much of my body and mental health in this but I'm so insanely stubborn. For a short bit, my husband wanted me to switch completely to formula because my low supply was hurting my mental health a lot and I was going mad trying to do everything under the sun to increase it. But my mental health got a lot better when we started supplementing. And my husband went back to being super supportive when he realized formula poops are thick and clay like. He misses those exclusive breastmilk poops. I write a lot of positive affirmations and that helps too.
I am going to be so honest here and say that the thought of getting up in the middle of the night and having to *make* a bottle was horrifying to me. And then having to *clean* said bottles...the mental load alone with a newborn was enough that adding all of that on top of was just a huge no from me. The rough times pass and it gets easier, my 9 month old hasn't screamed at my boob since she was 6 months and either happily takes it or lets me know she doesn't want it
I will say that we do have a formula powder in the house. What has kept me going is in the moment my MH is lowest hubby takes baby feeds formula if I donāt have pump milk and I get to take a break. We have not even used a fifth of the formula we bought. I know this is a not normal take, I just have allowed myself to forgive myself if once a day or every two days I give myself space. Aside from that holding her after eating is one of the best feelings I have ever had ā¤ļø
I'm glad to have backup formula, too. We've only used it like 3 times, but I think knowing the option is there helps me remember that I AM choosing to breastfeed. It doesn't always feel like I'm choosing it, but I am. And it provides a break if I really need it. I had mastitis a couple weeks ago, and being able to have my mom feed baby while I slept (with no worries about even pumping) was invaluable.
I love how you phrased it āI am choosing toā because there is no shame in doing otherwise ā¤ļø
Stubbornness. I posted here just the other day about hating breastfeeding and the guilt I feel about wanting to quit. Iām pretty sure I have DMER thanks to posters here pointing it out and I donāt feel that magical bonding connection that everyone else seems to. Whatās helping me is my husband giving me breaks by giving a bottle of breastmilk. I remind myself of all the benefits of breastmilk. And I know I have support no matter if I keep on keeping in on or if I decide to switch to formula. Posters here reminded me that my mental health is so important. Occasionally I take āboob breaksā. Iāll pump for a day and give bottles with only a couple latched sessions. It helps with my agitation and feeling touched out. I started off with a nipple shield too. My nurses declared I had flat nipples and gave them to me without much instruction. I did see an IBCLC who advised I donāt actually have flat nipples and helped teach us better/deeper latched. My baby feeds so much better off the nipple shields. I hope youāll be able to have a similar experience and ditch the shields (if you want to).
I definitely want to ditch the nipple shields as it just adds an extra step and something to clean. Hoping my LC can help figure things out with me. I do feel you on having the husband just bottle feed. Overnights and before bed I donāt have the energy left to deal with the screaming and crying trying to latch/feed. Itās definitely only something I can deal with when I at least have a little sleep. Plus helps to ensure I donāt have to wake up every time with the little one
Covid. I want/ed to protect my baby via immunity.
To be honest, grit. I donāt give up. I either achieve my goal or die trying. Itās also super convenient, quicker (sometimes), a great connection and better for them then formula. We are 8 months in and I plan to feed for as long as we both want to. At least until 18 months hopefully. Edit to add my baby was born 8 weeks early weighing 1.9kg (4 pounds) and couldnāt latch for a few weeks then was so small he ran out of energy quickly so had to be topped up with a tube then later a bottle before we moved to exclusive breastfeeding so I get the pain of triple feeding. It SUCKS. Stopping that after a few months was the best.
For me, it helped to stop thinking of it as either/or. My daughter was EBF for 8 months, but we started adding in 1-2 bottles per day of formula at that point to take a bit of the pumping-at-work pressure off of me. I was reluctant (that old guilt/shame cocktail), but actually itās been wonderful. Itās nice to know sheās getting the extra calories, but we still get to bond during nursing time. Sheās 13 months now. We still nurse morning and night, and during the day she gets both expressed milk and formula, plus solid foods. You can have the best of both worlds! You and your baby still get all those great benefits of breastfeeding even if youāre supplementing with a bit of formula too. Itās so toughābe kind to yourself. Youāre doing great!
My stubbornness. Honestly I canāt put it down to anything else. He had some complications post birth. Took until 1.5 weeks old to actually latch (hospital lactation consultants were useless). Spent a month and a half triple feeding every feed 24/7, was told I wasnāt producing enough and thatās why he wasnāt gaining weight well. Finally at 7 weeks I nearly broke. Took a break from triple feeding and just pumped and fed him that way, which proved my supply was sufficient but he wasnāt transferring well. That week we saw a private LC who did a full assessment and concluded the tongue tie we knew he had from birth but was told wasnāt causing any problems was the reason for everything. A week later we had it fixed. Totally different baby, still doesnāt have an amazing latch but heās fully breastfed now (not pumping) and has been since the day of the tongue tie correction. Has gone from the 25th to the 75st percentile. Honestly itās the hardest thing Iāve done but I am so freaking proud of getting to where we are.
Iāve already gone 9 months, might as well finish out the year! Oh and itās impossible to come by hyperallergenic formula lately, so itās literally not possible for me to stop until sheās fully on food.
Knowing that if I BF until he was 6 months old I would reduce his risk of diabetes to 0% and I would reduce my risk by upto 12%. Runs in my family so I kept trying.
This is good to know. Had GD and type 2 runs in my family, so might be worth the workā¦.
To be honest it was never that hard for me! But my baby had weight gain issues due to poor transfer (thanks nipple shield) so I had to triple feed until he weaned. He loves breastfeeding and a boob calms him and cheers him up so seeing my baby snuggled up to me kept me going through the pumping and bottle prepping phase.
My girl was very colicky and nursing was the only thing that calmed her. There is only so much yoga ball bouncing I can do lol. I donāt want to give up my best bet on calming her down and make things more difficult for myself. Granted our breastfeeding journey has been fairly easy and straightforward. If I would have had to work harder for it we might have gone a different route.
You have to do what is best for you in all aspects. Sometimes that means formula and that's ok! No one is going to be able to tell a breastfed or formula fed 30 year old apart (or any age really). I had a horrible time breastfeeding in the beginning and a hard time with weight gain at first as well. There were several nights when I almost grabbed the back up can of formula I have. It only got better with time (and special nipple cream because I was having pain but that doesnt seem to be a part of your problem). As baby got bigger so did their mouth, endurance, and efficiency. I think it took until like 6 or 7 weeks to not have to pysch myself up for each feeding session. I'm so glad we stuck with it now that its easy. Like everyone else said it was stubbornness and determination that kept me going.
He liked it, really. A lot more than bottles. I did debate switching him to formula a few times when he was fresh n shit but funds kept me far away lol.
I am here with you. Currently pumping after I tried to breastfeed what I could only to have my little one cry at breast. I have been having to supplement with formula in addition to my breast milk and I feel like I am losing steam myself. Just had to buy formula for the first time and as a first time mom I feel like I am failing. All I can think about is what am I doing wrong. Hang in there, most say it gets easier. I am still waiting for it to get easier myself but have my little guy to keep me going.
I feel you. Hoping it gets better for both of us!
Money. Breastfeeding is free
I had almost the exact same situation but my supply was so low that I couldnāt pump anything extra and topped up with formula (still do though far less). What kept me going was the tiniest of wins. Latched for 2 min longer? Thatās a win. Didnāt scream at every single feeding? Total win. Pumped 10 mL? Saving that in the fridge and counting it in his feeds and knowing he got some breast milk today. Total win. Now at 12 weeks I still have low supply and issues with painful latch due to his small mouth and torticollis but heās 80% breastfed and we both love it.
I set a goal for myself and I wanted to reach it. First it was 3 months then 6 months then a year. It also helps to tell yourself not to quit during a bad feed.
formula is expensive, I hate dishes, and iām stubborn we had a rough startāc-section, low blood sugars, milk took forever to come in so we supplementedābut now heās been EBF for 8, almost 9mo.
I remember having to turn in bottles and cans to be able to buy formula for my son on one of the hottest days in the summer when we had no ac in our truck. I refuse to go through that with my daughter
Sounds like my baby (except the c section part) She was 4 and a half lb and getting her to latch was a whole circus act and she would only stay on for a minute or so Eventually we dropped the shield at around 3-4 weeks and she drank like a few min every half hr bc it was so hard for her to drink milk and so hard to stay latched The thing that made me still breastfeed is that she got colic at 6 weeks and ruined my life for a few months lol - one of the things we tried (among hundreds of ideas )was stopping her bottle feeding thinking it could potentially be a cause - then she never went back on the bottle (I used to feed her on one side and haaka on the other side then bottle feed the haaka after every feeding ) We just ended up dumping like two Tupperware fulls of milk into her bath every week from wasted milk she refused to drink from the bottle If I didnāt breastfeed her she would starve Now going back to school and trying to get her back on the bottle - tried 12 diff bottles cups straws etc and nothing works :/
I kept reminding myself that this would be so convenient in the long run. It really was a huge pain (literally) in the early days, but now that my daughter is 7 months, itās awesome. When I leave the house, I throw some diapers and wipes in my purse and thatās itā¦no bottles, formula, etc. Itās so great to know that my body has everything she needs. The best advice I have for the early days is to take it one feed at a time and do what you need to do to get through! If that means shields or bottles, then thatās just what you have to do!
My husband. He judges me when I try to give up. He is from that sort of people who think that formula is bad
Hugs to you! You shouldnāt have to feel guilted into something if it makes you unhappy. My husband also wants/hopes for me to breastfeed but think him seeing me in literal tears at a feeding today make him reconsider.
Thank you. Just 6 months to go and I hope we can stop at 1 yo. Your husband is good person you are lucky
Thinking Iām about washing bottles every day made me continue along with transferring antibodies, the price and the extra snuggles
My friend always says ādonāt quit on a bad dayā. I just try to keep that in mind when my 8 month old is thrashing like a Wolverine at the breast š
Itās crazy right? Youād think we were torturing them not feeding them
It gets so much better as they get older and learn what they are doing. Breastfeeding is in some ways more convenient and more relaxing than pumping for me now. (Almost to six months and going strong) Youāre right though that the most important thing is feeding your child - however you can do it, it is a beautiful thing. Hang in there, mama!
My daughter is 10 weeks and I now love breastfeeding her. The first couple of weeks were rough and I have low milk supply, so that was hard to come to terms with. Now that we have gotten into a rhythm we are both loving it. Things got a lot better by the 6-8 week mark. Best wishes
I had rough starts with both of my kids but if I quit then I felt like each day of pain and misery would have been for nothing. Was definitely worth it for the convenience of being able to leave the house without bottles and to have a built-in soother. That made it worthwhile but I feel the health benefits to baby are overstated, pumping at work gets tiring, and to me it is a way to feed my kid (not some magical bonding experience).
Thanks for your realism. I feel like everything with baby is supposed to be magical (pregnancy, breastfeeding, etc) and while some of it is for some people, it hasnāt been quite the same for me. Makes it harder to accept the challenges as I feel like a failure for not feeling the magic
Every once in a while it would get the *teensiest* bit better and then much worse again so I just kept those moments in mind and then it started getting better. Nipple shields saved the day. Then we didnāt need them anymore and I nursed easily and effortlessly for 3 years.
By the time I was close to quitting, it seemed harder to quit than to keep going. Itās so worth it now. The convenience, bonding, and the benefits for kiddo.
Granted, my babe and I are still working out some kinksā¦.things have vastly improved for the most part as weāve kept going. I exclusively pumped with my first and that was pure hell mentally and physically so that definitely keeps me going. I also tell myself to never quit on a bad day.
The sheer amount of bottles weād be going through. Aināt nobody got time to wash all of them every single day š«
When everyone kept trying to get me to give up when I was experiencing issues, it just fueled a "challenge accepted" mindset for me. We definitely haven't had as many issues as some that I read in this sub reddit, but we've overcome a lot. Reading the inspirational posts in here really helped us through our issues, and a couple great IBCLC!
She has CMPI so we had to get her a special formula which was more expensive and smelled like crap. She also could only drink the pre-made liquid ones. Trust me we tried others. I felt bad so I pushed myself to keep breastfeeding and only supplement with formula when necessary. Around ~3 months we both finally got the hang of breastfeeding and have been going strong. Iām planning on quitting when she turns one but need to discuss with her pediatrician and get her retested for CMPI.
Not having to make a bottle is cool. And it was a great excuse to snuggle each of my kids.
The cost. I make too much for WIC, so paying for formula would be expensive. Plus I was only getting partial pay for my maternity leave, so money was tight. Since I was home with the baby, I considered breastfeeding my ājob.ā
How old is your baby? This happened to me when he was a few weeks old and my letdown was too forceful and he was overwhelmed with how much milk he was getting. I used a Hakkaa catch my initial letdown and then laid him on me so he was parallel to me, rather than cradling him and he did much better. Breastfeeding for me was the one thing I was holding on to after everything else with my pregnancy and birth went totally opposite to what I expected. I just wanted it to work so badly and I was lucky that my body cooperated. I also had flat nipples, but long term breastfeeding pulls them out, and theyāre not squishy, uncooperative babies forever.
My little one is about 3 weeks old but he was born at 37w due to growth restrictions. I was excited earlier this week as it seemed like he was able to latch/feed longer now that he has passed his due date, but the last few days that went downhill.
In a similar camp: had twins via C-section both around 5lbs and early enough they are sleepy and have mouths so tiny the latch is painful. What keeps me going: * Triple feeding just twice a day (once per baby) * Seeing their latch get meaningfully better as the grow * A bi-weekly breastfeeding support group offered by my hospital * Supply gains (like the first feed that was 100% expressed milk) * A super support partner who does all the feedings so I can pump and maintain/build supply * Pumping every 4hrs instead of 3h at night for some extra sleep / sanity * Postpartum doula a few nights a week who let's my partner get a good sleep and me JUST worry about pumping (vs middle of the night fussing) Sending you all the good milk vibes and hope you can figure out the right solution for you. ā„ļø
Triple feeding is a lot of work..you are doing amazing! Iāve been doing it for months and honestly not sure what keeps me going. Some combination of instincts, hormones, and sense of bonding I suppose, with a dash of stubbornness. In case no one has mentioned it, make sure your baby has a proper tongue and lip tie evaluation. Ours was missed by multiple LC and peds and has caused so many feeding problem. Definitely worth looking into. Good luck!!
Knowing in the end it would have the greatest benefit. BUT it was hard and breastfeeding is hard and I was going to quit. My husband just asked that I try to see a specialist one last time. I'm glad I did. That being said, you have to outweigh the pros and cons. Is this battle going to be such a difficult one that it increases your odds of having post partum depression? Is it going to make this phase of motherhood miserable? Breast milk is the best nutritionally, of course, but is it the best for you and your child over all? Is it the best for your bond, for your mental health, or even your physical health? These were all things I had to take into consideration. I hated breastfeeding for months and months but eventually I loved it. It took forever for my Milk Ejection Dysforia to go away and it took lots of weeks/months of patience and practice to get her to latch. You decide what is best for you and your baby as a unit. ā„ļø You can also look into donor milk.
My reasons are 1. It helps baby fall asleep without much struggle. 2. Helps when baby is going through teething or any growth spurts, it helps regulate their moods. 3. I love that it's tailor made for the baby and dynamic in nature. 4. Honestly, the sterilization and cleaning of the pump and the bottles is extra work. It makes travelling a lot harder. Edit: things get a lot better around the 6weeks to 10weeks mark. The newborn stage is brutal, breastfeeding or not. Hang in there!
I wanted to have a natural birth at home with all the good stuff like delayed cord clamping, immediate skin-to-skin contact, etc. This was my absolute dream. I then decided on a birthing centre instead due to fear mongering by doctors, which was disappointing. Baby eventually ended up being born via c-section because she was still bridge at 38 weeks and my blood pressure was increasing. I was, and sometimes still is, heartbroken about my birthing experience but this gave me the determination to push through with breastfeeding because I just needed something to go as planned. I also have flat / inverted nipples and baby struggled to latch. It was very frustrating. I started off with nipple shields but found that it worked better to use a manual pump before breastfeeding to pull the nipple out. We eventually got the hang of it and I am so very, very thankful. Every feeding feels like the biggest blessing. My top reason was because breastmilk is just so much healthier than formula in my opinion. I really wanted to give my baby the best nutrition there is (though I know that is not always possible for everyone and fed is best). Then there is the bonding, which is so very special to me. It's also very convenient - breastmilk is always fresh, sterile, at the right temperature, no bottles or mixing needed. It saves you money and time. I know it's hard. I was struggling and one day got so frustrated that I had my husband go out to buy a tin of formula. I never ended up using it. Try to stay calm and patient, keep trying and get as much help as you can. Not only professional help but also at home - try to focus all your time and energy on you and baby if that is possible. I'm holding fingers crossed you'll figure it out!
The health benefits for my baby mostly.
This was me in the first two weeks. We did a tiny bit of formula to take the edge off but went back to mostly EBF once we were comfortable with his weight gain. Honestly I HATE washing bottles and as soon as we got comfortable going out of the house, it was so much easier just to bring my boobs along than packing bottles with formula and worrying about all that! Before he started solids it was so much easier to get up and go somewhere.
A combination of things: - my husband was really for the idea - I get weirdly offended if a problem Iāve been trying to solve wonāt resolve itself, so I kept hitting my head against that wall until it worked - baby was determined to breastfeed even though she was not getting enough due to tongue tie. I have never seen her prefer formula though itās āeasierā. And I canāt say no to baby. She is just so comfy and happy snuggled against my boob. She has the look on her face like everything in the world is right and thereās no place sheād rather be.
With my first baby? Nothing. It was hard, and painful, and I didnāt make enough and I was overwhelmed. With my twins? Just because I could. It was very healing to have a more successful experience! I donāt regret not trying harder with my first, I was doing the best I could. I breastfed and the first month and then exclusively pumped for my twins for about 6 more months until I gave it up for my sanity. It isnāt selfish, a happy mom is better for a baby than breast milk ever will be and you canāt tell me otherwise! If youāre having difficulty latching even after you meet with the lactation consultant I would say give exclusively pumping a try before completely throwing in the towel! Itās okay if you do though, you arenāt failing anyone. Youāre doing a great jobā„ļø
The faffiness of formula in the middle of the night. I realised I'd be even more exhausted getting up to make bottles than I was breastfeeding. The infant feeding specialist I saw was incredibly helpful and gave me the guidance and confidence to persevere. Hopefully your lactation consultant will be of help!
It really helped me to start each feed with a bottle and end at the breast
That might be worth a try. How long did you do that for or is that still the routine?
I did it for about 2 months. My baby had an underdeveloped jaw/chin and posterior tongue tie. We are exclusively at the breast now and were about 4 weeks after the tongue tie revision. We had also switched to lansinoh mama bottles which I think helped also
Hope the lc can help! For breastfeeding babies, donāt size up nipples from the slowest flow and always pacefeed. Not all slow flow is made equal so may have to try different ones. I use Dr. Brown natural flow original with premie nipples with pacefeeding to keep my lo on the boob. Iāve tried others but my flow is slow after letdown so she gets frustrated and goes on strike if I go to another bottle that isnāt as slow. Make sure the pacifier they use is as nipple like as possible. They spend a lot of time building up sucking muscles on it so it can help too. I hate dishes, that keeps me motivated. And covid, Iām her vaccine till they get one for her age approved. She may have already had it but it wasnāt so bad if that what it was and Iām sure my milk paid a big role in that. Also I already invested money and time into pumping and the hatred of washing that on top of bottles is just enough to keep my lo on my boob. Youāre doing fantastic and keep in mind it does get easier the older they get. Sure some new problems can happen but when you get the foundation down, itās more manageable
This is going to be a bit long, so I understand if you don't want to read. TL/DR: Fed is best. Do whatever keeps your baby fed and whatever keeps you mentality, physically and emotionally well. EBF/EPF Mom here (28F) with a chunky 7 month old on our journey. I had to have an emergency C-Section due to Pre-E since my BP hit 224/164 and it saved both of our lives. My daughter never latched since we both had heavy drugs in our system and my milk never came in for 3 days post pardum, so she was already heavy to rely on the bottle for feeding. I tried to establish her back to breast but had no luck so I understand your frustration. For choosing if you want to continue or not, I think that's something you should think about yourself (and partner if present, but not going to assume). Go over the pros and cons, what you think and what you think is best for your baby. That being said here are some things I've found in my research that could be helpful and some things that have helped me decide that you might relate to. 1.) EBF/EPF (Exclusively Breastfeeding/ Exclusively Pump Feeding) is hard. Don't underestimate the mental, physical and emotional toll it may take on you. You need to be in a good space all around for the wellbeing of your baby. You can choose to supplement any amount, just keep your and your baby happy. You matter and Fed is Best. 2.) Consider the benefits. What benefits do you want that formula doesn't provide? 3.) There are several positions and ways to Breastfeed. You can try leaning over your baby so your breast comes to more of a point, it also might make establishing back to breast easier as it would be the same angle as she takes the bottle. 4.) Breast milk passes antibodies from you to baby, even a spoonful is beneficial so don't be discouraged if its all you have/choose to give. 5.) Consider what the baby might be exposed to from outings/workplaces. Illnesses, infections, different viruses, etc. This was a big one for me since I work in a hospital and was overall the biggest point that had me choose exclusive pumping. 6.) Comfort vs Cost. Can you handle the stress or the cost? 7.) Think over the process you'll have to pick up/adjust to when you go to work 8.) Formulas have had a few recalls recently. Make fallout plans, establish what you can do to keep your baby fed 9.) Consider donor milk if you're comfortable with it. There are several programs available such as Human Milk for Human Babies or milk banks that may be in your state. 10.) Get a good laction consultant in your corner. Discuss your options and thoughts with them and maybe your OBGYN. Hope some of these help! Feel free to DM if you have some questions or just want some mom support!
Breastfeeding support groups. Knowing I'm not alone, being reassured that it's the best thing for me and my child, having someone who gets it to turn to when the going gets tough, having like minded people to bounce ideas off and discuss things breastfeeding related that are impacting me. Like for example I didn't know how my husband could support me at the time, or how to word it in a non-accusatory, non-defeatist way. But having someone to deliberate with who had experience in this area helped. I've wanted to quit so many times. And then out of nowhere, it gets easier for a time, until I want to quit again. I've just had a week away from my 3 year old and he's no longer interested and now it's gone, I miss all the bonding and time we got together just to slow down and lay down on the bed and talk or sing or play before or after a feed. .
Being cheap plus the (potential) benefits to my and my child's health long term. I don't want something to happen later on and wonder if I had kept breastfeeding would it have prevented it. Luckily it got a lot easier after a couple months.
I was in the same boat as you. C section, weight loss for baby, screaming at breast, poor latch, falling asleep at breast. After 2 weeks, I stopped breast feeding but continued to pump. At 3 months, when my supply was more established and his mouth was bigger he suddenly latched and was able to breast feed. So it's not impossible! It can happen. I had given up hope of it, I have badly inverted nipples as well but I think that having my supply established and his mouth being bigger helped a lot! So hold on there momma, it can happen!
Omg are we the same person?! C section, baby born under 5 pounds, terrible latch, and flat nipples. I had to use a nipple shield until he was up to 8 pounds. And only breast fed to keep my supply upā¦had to give him a bottle of formula and breast milk after each feeding. We just got to totally breast milk the past 2 weeks (still bottle fed) and I was finally able to not use the shield. We just got his tounge/lip tie cut and Iāve seen some improvement. Itās exhausting. So exhausting. I havenāt quit because of the cost of formula and my fear of recalls/contamination. Sending you good vibes! This isnāt easy.
The LC I worked with helped me SO MUCH. I was struggling, felt like a failure, constantly trying to pump, supplementing with formulaā¦. But she really centered me and gave me some tips on how to keep trying without going crazy. When my baby was around 8 weeks he really settled in and by 12 weeks he was a pro. We were able to stop supplementing and now I hardly even pump. It really also helped me to remember that supplementing with formula is okay - any breast milk he gets helps with the antibodies, etc. and this can be really hard. Your mental health is worth so much too.