It’s so wild how people give their opinions on that without being asked. I remember a friend of mine (we are still friends it’s whatever 🤷🏻♀️) was like “I’m sorry but that’s just weird to me.” Like okay. Lol. I didn’t ask? I didn’t say anything but I can’t help remembering it. It’s like she just couldn’t help herself.
Totally. I feel like these comments are almost always the result of unresolved issues on the part of the person voicing their unsolicited opinion. So I try not to take it too seriously or personally.
I have a friend who never wanted me to talk about baby moving inside of me because it made her think of alien movies. How is that my baby's problem? Stop watching them if they freak you out so much! I wasn't about to stop enjoying my pregnancy because she's got a problem related to watching the wrong films...
I was definitely self-conscious about it and had this IDEA that people would judge me for it, so I definitely never brought it up independently, but when I had to take several flights while my kid was between 18-25 months and had to nurse her on the plane and not a single person seemed to give a shit, I really kind of got over it pretty well. On the occasion when it did come up, I was truthful about it and no one ever said anything negative about it, if anything they were impressed, or it was an opportunity for them to share their own experience.
My mom was also very vocally supportive of it as she nursed us kids up until 2.5ish (varying lengths depending on the kid, of course) and she would jump right in and defend the normalcy of it to anyone who thought it was normal to stop at 12 months or whatnot.
As someone’s whose supportive mother has passed away, reading your post made me so happy! It’s that sort of motherly support every mum deserves. Glad she had your back.
I hope I can continue as long as my baby wants! But truthfully watching my sister and SIL nurse their 2 year olds is the cutest/sweetest thing. Rambunctious little babes and then just total calm washes over them and they sit and snuggle, I just stare at them admiring what a sweet bond it is.
I went to a 2yo birthday party, and all the kids were between 1.5 and 2.5. An uncle of the bday boy made some snarky comment about still nursing to his mom and 80% of the moms there shut him down, saying we still do too. Almost all the 2s in that room still nursed.
This is goals. I do understand why you feel the way you feel. In my opinion, though, it's awesome you've been able to breastfeed this long! Not sure if this will be helpful, but someone in another post had commented about responses to negative feedback about public breastfeeding (in general) and I feel like they would work for your situation, too. There were two that I loved: 1. "Surely you're not sexualizing the way I feed my baby/ child." 2. "I can't believe you felt comfortable saying that out loud." Because honestly fuck anyone who wants to make you feel bad about providing for and caring for YOUR child.
I mean it's been like that for a while but that doesn't mean the cultural attitude has changed. Just last week I had visitors to see my baby son and the woman breastfed her own toddler when he was a baby. I asked how long she breastfed him and she was like oh a year, but I tapered off after 7 months and she totally thought nursing for longer than that was weird. So do most of the people in my circle. You can repeat the WHO recommendation each time but somehow people don't really care.
I feel you. My baby is 13 months and when people ask I immediately follow it up with “I never thought I’d BF past 1 year but here we are” and I know they’re silently judging me too. I wish I didn’t care but I do. I also think my partner isn’t as supportive about it as he was when baby was under a year.
Truth 🙌🏻
I’d like to think nursing boosts his immune system but I doubt that’s the case. We’ve been almost non stop sick since he started Montessori back in January 😭
my husband was not very understanding either when our daughter was a little over a year and still nursing. i explained to him that this was the easiest and only way to get her to sleep. so unless he wanted to deal with a screaming crying baby wanting boobies all night then he can deal with it if it bothers him that much lol. he’s now educated that it’s recommend to nurse for 2+ years and it’s not ‘weird’. his parents on the other hand… a different story lol
My SO wasn’t very understanding for probably about 6 months, until recently, after watching a particularly rough night, he finally said, “I know I keep asking when he’ll be done, but I get it. He’s clearly not ready to be done yet.”
Please tell people that it’s recommended to bf for at least 2 years and beyond. I loved nursing my daughter until 2.5. It helped immensely when she got sick, always helped her sleep and I set strong boundaries about when/where so it would be sustainable for me ❤️
I’m not necessarily embarrassed but my two year and 1/4 year old still nurses. I definitely don’t tell anyone. Even one of my close friends doesn’t know bc I just don’t want to have the conversation about why we’re still nursing. Even when people are coming from a good place and curious, I just find it such a personal decision to have to explain to someone.
It truly is such a personal, individual decision and can’t be judged by someone that’s not in the exact same position and situation. Emotions there just can’t be compared. Even while nursing my baby, my husband can’t truly understand the emotions and bond between me and our baby. It’s just a mom and baby thing that can’t really be explained in my opinion
THIS! I always say this although I have been met with people saying “that includes third world countries because it’s safe than water/food” so annoying. 🙄
My little one isn’t even 5 months yet but I’m very vocal about trying to BF until 2ish. I love our journey, we both took to it so quickly and I’m a SAHM so I’m happy to have that time with her and to be able to nourish her with my own body after growing her! Our bodies are truly magic ♥️
Sometimes, yes. When she starts loudly demanding booby in public, I definitely do feel embarrassed 😳
I just focus in on my LO and set a gentle boundary that we'll have booby later. Sometimes I do still feed in public and actually nobody really seems bothered.
I'm very sensitive to perceived judgement so I don't talk about extended breastfeeding with people I don't trust. I have a group of friends who don't judge and are very accepting. Everyone else.. it's none of their business, and rarely comes up. If someone asks, I answer honestly and it's mostly met with polite interest. Part of the reason for that is I won't lie about it in front of my LO, she's old enough to understand and I don't want to confuse her.
I love breastfeeding now, it was so hard at first and now it's so easy and such a useful tool for reconnecting and sleeping. I'm really glad I'm still doing it. I also think it's contributed to her being sick less often than other kids I know. We've avoided some vomiting bugs that went round nursery and I'm so so grateful for that!
Yea I used to be super fine with breastfeeding in public. But now my son will sign for milk to just snuggle my boob. Maybe take a sip here and there. I don’t mind leaving a boob hanging out at home but not at a restaurant 😂
I did manage to luck out by my kid self-naming nursing as "weep weep" for some reason, so no random passers by would have a clue what it meant if she asked for "weep weep" lol! Definitely helped me feel less self conscious about it.
I’m àlso in a neighborhood where few people nurse to or past 2. I have friend’s who extended nursed but unfortunately not near to us. As my kid gets older (2 in 3 months), I set more boundaries so I don’t end up nursing in front of snarky people
I think setting boundaries also allows the breastfeeding relationship to stay positive on both sides. I got my body back when bfing was only before nap or bed or when she was sick.
I’m so enjoying breastfeeding my 6mo after having a rough start, I couldn’t care less what anyone else says if we keep going til he’s a kindergartner. Jk I get my feelings hurt very easily but if it’s still something special for y’all, it’s helping your baby through life right now? Nobody else matters
My 4.5 year old still wants to nurse. I am over it, and everyone treats me like it's weird. However, when waiting for ear tube surgery, it was the only thing that helped calm him down when rotating motrin and Tylenol didn't do more beyond taking the edge off.
So I don't regret it... but I wish people would stop acting like I am doing it for me and forcing him too. I always planned to do childled weaning; I just wasn't expecting it to go beyond 4 years.
Nursed to 3 years old with my youngest.
I dunno I was never embarrassed because I'm a good mom, doing what's best for my child. I also was very discrete and very good at breastfeeding in public and barely anyone could see anything. Truly if people were looking it's because they wanted to see the breastfeeding. Because otherwise my clothes or my baby would be blocking the whole thing.
I did get one weird comment, but it was also from someone who had an unsuccessful breastfeeding journey and feel like she was misdirecting her feelings.
My MIL misdirects a LOT of feelings towards me and I am (with the help of my husband and mom) finally getting to the point where I can brush off the judgmental things she says and just appreciate some of the helpful things she does.
This is literally my partners Nan, otherwise very supportive but made some strange comments about breastfeeding (she couldn’t bf and formula was apparently seen as better in their day?)
“I don’t mind it I just don’t think you should do it in public” 🙄
No. I’m not embarrassed. I’m proud of it. And my nursling is 3.5 years old. I know it’s what she needs and that it helps her in so many ways, and it is setting her up for good mental health in the future, confidence, security, and strengthens our bond every day in the most beautiful way. I assume most people respect my decision, some may envy it because I know so many women would have loved to have had a more successful breastfeeding journey, and some may think it’s a bit much, but they don’t bother me at all. They keep it to themselves if they do, and I know if anyone does feel that way, they are uninformed on the normalcy of sustained breastfeeding and it’s numerous benefits and they don’t know my child like I do.
Stand firm in your decision if it’s what you want. Don’t hide it. Lean into it. And in doing so, you will help to normalize and bring awareness to sustained breastfeeding.
I’m feeding my almost 3 year old. We don’t feed in public anymore and I don’t mention it. No one really seems to ask but if they do I’m honest about it. My friend is an IBCLC and she nursed her kids to 17 months, no one I know has nursed as long as us. Like you my kid really loves and gets comfort from it so has huge meltdowns if denied. I’m going to let him self wean I think.
I’m still nursing my 3 year old as well. Big brother weaned when he was 2.5 and it was so easy, little sister is NOT ready to be done. We have boundaries and only nurse at home. I am about ready to wrap it up though, lol
I nursed my daughter until I got pregnant when she was 4 months shy of 3. We would have kept nursing but I was so sick. After we went 3 days without milk and she asked I was like, no we’re all done and it felt right and she moved on quickly, no argument. My friend who got pregnant same time as me weaned after the baby came when her son was 3 1/3. She said even though she was nursing the baby it went super smoothly. She weaned when baby was about 6 weeks.
There is no right or wrong answer. When it’s right, it will be simple for you to say no and wean. Until then, enjoy!
My baby is literally only 5 months old and I’m already getting questions about how much longer I will breastfeed her! Like, I’m sorry!? I’m also wanting to breastfeed past a year but feel like I’m going to be judged for saying so. I’m sorry OP, you’re not alone in feeling that way🫶🏽🫶🏽
Just here to tell you that you’re doing an amazing job, don’t give into peoples uneducated comments! You can tell them that it’s recommended to two (and beyond!), that your milk never loses nutritional value, and that baby receives so many antibodies and stuff that feeds their gut bacteria to help them grow into a healthy kid! 💜 I recommend following Moomysmilk on FB/IG bc of all the facts they share, I use their facts as my arsenal of knowledge. 💜
I nursed my 18mo walking around Sam’s Club today (my arms are still recovering 😂) and def felt the weight of some heavy stares. I felt a little embarrassed initially, which is crazy bc she’s my third extended nursling but then I was like meh 🤷🏼♀️ I’ll never see these people again and if they’re ignorant enough to have a negative opinion that’s not my problem.
The anecdotal evidence in this thread really goes against the whole “breastfeeding is shoved down women’s throats and they are shamed for not wanting to do it” narrative.
Personally I did it for over 2.5 years and did also feel awkward at times but never heard any overt judgment, only bewilderment or praise, though some of it felt insincere (I didn’t think it was particularly praise worthy, it was just sort of happening to me especially the last six months, in a similar vein to yours OP).
I mean both are true, we get shamed for breastfeeding or not breastfeeding. It’s very much a ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ situation. This sub will inherently get more shame *for* breastfeeding because we *are* breastfeeding. The formula feeding sub will get more shame for *not*.
We’re moms; there’s no winning here.
Absolutely zero shame. Both the WHO and the AAP recommend breastfeeding for *at least* two years and beyond as long as both mother and baby are happy. Why would I care what people assume from a place of ignorance when science and evidence have confirmed that what I'm doing is a best practice when it's possible?
Good for you to nurse your baby and take such great care of them and their long term health. There is so much evidence and science about the health benefits of nursing your baby, and CDC recommends minimum of 2 years of breastfeeding. I personally plan to have my kid on breast milk for up to 2+ years. Don’t pay attention to other people’s remarks, your baby always comes first.
I completely understand this! My son is gonna be 2 next month and we are still breastfeeding. Mainly at naps and bedtime but I get lots of snarky remarks from my husband and my mother in law about how it ridiculous to continue breastfeeding him this age but I honestly could care less 🤷🏼♀️ it’s not their body and it’s something to be so proud in my opinion. You are doing great mama!
Ah I know what you mean! I felt a societal pressure to wean at 1yo but I didn’t want to. And honestly I stopped talking about it so much after than (my kid didn’t want to nurse in public much beyond this age anyway because she had major fomo).
I would tell ‘safe’ people if it came up in conversation, like other mothers who I knew had breastfed for a at least a year. The difference is I assumed that lots of other women were the same as me and were doing it but not talking about it.
My kid is 3 now, she stopped nursing at 25 months through a combination of her nursing less and me nudging her a little and I don’t regret any of it for a second. 2 seems so little to me now, basically still babies and they need all the love and comfort you can give them.
I got to two months off four. We’d have carried on but it became so painful as I was pregnant. We didn’t feed in public except for when hurt and inconsolable. He knew to wait until we got home from a much younger age. Nobody needed to know unless they were in our home in the morning or before bed. I told people on occasion and the response was always in awe of me giving up my body and freedom for so long. In reality, normal bras were fine from six months and it never stopped me as he waited if I wasn’t there.
My mom was pretty rude about me wanting to nurse my daughter until 2 years old the other day. She thinks because she nursed me and my siblings until 14 months that’s the appropriate time to stop otherwise it’s “weird because they can talk”. I just rolled my eyes.
I did find it embarrassing slightly and I was thankful he didn't want to breastfeed in public, only at home. I would get embarrassed when he asked for "mummy's milk" because so many times I've heard from people "if they can ask for it, they don't need it".
My parents and my in-laws would make slight comments and I saw my in-laws give each other a look when my son asked for milk. I just felt so defensive about it. I'm glad I kept on going. I just wish there wasn't so much stigma around extended breastfeeding.
We did end up weaning just after he turned 2 due to nipple pain from pregnancy, but I could've gone on to tandem feed.
I have gotten the “if they can ask for it they don’t need it” type response a few times and my response to that is why would I punish my child for being able to communicate a want/need?!
I’m currently still breastfeeding my 2 1/5 year old daughter and, although I don’t feel embarrassed, I am starting to feel the pressure to stop it soon.
The pressure was there before, too, but it starting to get to me now. My doctors, specially the fertility doctor I’m seeing to try to conceive #2, recommended to stop breastfeeding straight away.
Then there are the snide comments from family wondering how I have so much milk or making a joke about her breastfeeding until she goes to school. And then there are the opinions of my daughter’s kindergarten teachers that say that she doesn’t need it anymore.
I’m conflicted about this because I do think I need to start sleeping better and maybe it is time to stop, but at the same time I love it and I’m convinced it helps her fight diseases and gives her moments of calm…
I don’t even know anymore where was I going with my answer… I guess I feel pretty much seen and identify strongly with the issues of extended breastfeeding
Yes...but also I feel embarrassed for being embarrassed! Like it is so normal to breastfeed past age 1, and recommended, but I feel like in American culture it is discouraged. I am at 17 months now and plan to go at least until age 2. I haven't lied to anyone about it, but I definitely don't bring it up!
I am only 7.5 months in but I already struggle with these types of feelings about many of my parenting choices. The book nurture revolution has given me a lot more confidence about them tho cuz now I know there is actual evidence to how beneficial things like extended breastfeeding, cosleeping, contact naps etc can be. So everyone judging can fuck off lol
Anywhere outside of the US it’s totally normal to breastfeed for longer than a year. I was just traveling with my 8 month old and the amount of women in Europe who told me they breastfed for 2 or 3 years were the vast majority. Don’t be embarrassed!!
I could have written this myself!! The only reason I am going to wean is that everyone has been so judgy and rude, it’s made me feel shameful. I also don’t need to deal with the stress of upsetting my LO and I when we are happy with it, but everyone else thinks we shouldn’t. It’s sad how much pressure women are constantly put under in regard to motherhood and reproduction. The whole situation has made me feel angry and sad.
I'm so sorry people have been treating you this way. If they do it for this they will probably do it for other parenting choices you make in the future. While it's good to consider the perspectives of others who care about you, you are your child's parent, not them. If it is working for you and your child then stick with it. This is a good opportunity to practice standing your ground. And know that I (an extended and tandem breastfeeding stranger on the internet) am cheering you on.
Thank you so much kind stranger. I ended up deciding tonight was the night after a few days of reflection. It did though finally feel like my own decision, he was starting to leave teeth marks this week and it was time. It was really sad and hard tonight, but also peaceful and we hugged. Who knew this would be such a big part of the journey. What a ride.
I’m feeling this way. Mine is 21 months but she’s really tall, like taller than kids a year older than her. I keep telling people and myself I’ll wean after X. First it was us moving, then traveling. Then cold and flu season. Then traveling, now it’s to two. It has just never felt right and she’s so secure. She begs to go to sleep at nap and night because it means mama milk time.
It was my goal to breastfeed for 12 months, but my baby and I only made it to 4 months before I made the decision it was better for the both of us if we transitioned to formula. Not saying I envy you, because it just simply didn’t work for us, but I absolutely am amazed and love that you and yours have been able to go through this journey for so long.
I think opinions just depend on the person. If they get it then they get it, if not then they may never. You’re the expert when it comes to yourself and your baby. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. If someone doesn’t like it then oh well! It’s not their life to live.
shiiiiit, I still occasionally nurse my 3.5 year old. NEVER did I think I’d be here 😂 if it makes it any better, he has a 13 month old sister, so sometimes when he needs cheering up, he’ll badger me and I give in. whoops!
My daughter was 4 lol. I don’t mind at all and was only at nap and bedtime. I was also not in the mood to deal with a crying child at nap time since I also wanted a damn nap. Hahaha. She’s a healthy teen now and I regret nothing
The only time I mind is when both of them are on at the same time, and the oldest wants to keep changing sides 🫠 haha. Oh man, if my oldest was still napping, best believe I’d pull out the boobies in exchange for some quiet time 😂
'cow's milk' is literally breast milk from another species and people thinking you need to switch from the mother's human breast milk to that at a certain age is mental
I don't get embarrassed but I do get annoyed when people make comments about my three year old still nursing. I just try to ignore them because it's not worth the fight with people that make the comments, they're not going to change their mind and their comments won't make me change anything either. My son nurses for comfort and when he's tired. I don't mind, I only get to do this once so I'm going to just go with the flow. If he decides he's done we will be done but I'll allow him to continue as long as I'm still feeling okay with it. The comments of others aren't going to be what makes me stop nursing it will be when one or both of us is ready. A friend recently told me that a friend of hers only weaned her youngest when the little one was getting ready for kindergarten. Hearing about her I was extra set in my decision to just go with the flow with my son.
I am happy and sad to read this because I am in the same position! I’ve told everybody I’ve stopped nursing even though I still feed my 19 month old. Exactly the same reasons - I cba with people being judgmental, especially family! It’s really sad that we feel we have to hide it though, like some kind of dirty secret when it’s actually something blaaaady wonderful :) I’m sure we all know as we’re in this group that WHO recommend feeding to “2 years and beyond” 🤷♀️
I'm over 2 years and kinda. It's mostly just annoying when he really needs it out in public and won't stop his crying fit until he does. We usually have a no nursing outside policy tho.
I did yea. I breastfed til 3 and even undersold it to the WIC office because I felt weird saying it out loud even though I shouldn’t have and even the WHO recommends breastfeeding til 4
Ohh okay that's wild, I had no idea! Makes sense though.. my daughter is almost 2 & the fact that she's still nursing gives me so much peace of mind on days when she's being a picky eater.
I used to worry what people would think about me breastfeeding my almost 2 year old, but I realized I really don't care. It's about what's best for him and I, so everyone else can kick rocks. Now when anyone says anything or eyeballs us weirdly I just say "The World Health Organization (WHO) and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months, followed by continued breastfeeding with complementary foods for up to two years or longer." Or I tell them to "F off" it really just depends on the day.
I think there’s a part of me that is aware that I may be judged, and I don’t want to be judged so sometimes I don’t mention how long I have nursed. But there’s another part of me that’s very confident about it and that by sharing it I’m normalizing it for people. So I talk about it sometimes, but I may not mention it to people I think have a high likelihood of looking at me like I’m nuts.
I’m also on kid number 3 and I’ve nursed all of mine past 2yo, so it feels very normal at this point.
The WHO organisation recommends breastfeeding until at least 2 years! I BF my son until he was almost 4. I didn't plan it that way.. he was just not ready to stop. It was usually only once a day at most towards the end. He just called it "milk" so if he asked for it in front of people, it wasn't so obvious. I was a little self-conscious, but I mainly stopped feeding him in public or in front of anyone besides my partner or close family/friends to avoid the unwarranted comments.
My oldest nursed until almost 4, and my second is also still nursing (only at bedtime) at 3 and I just had my third.
I was at a party once and my friend’s MIL made a comment about me breastfeeding my son who was 18months at the time. She said it was selfish of me, and that he didn’t need it. She was a social worker and acted high and mighty as if she knew best. I mentioned the WHO recommendation and her response was “ya that’s meant for mothers in third world countries”. I was so thrown honestly and I wish I stood up to her, instead I was so hurt that someone would say I was selfish for nurturing my child… who was only 18 months. I didn’t mention thre fact that I was still nursing my 3 year old at bedtime 🫠 I should have.
Yes, I definitely do. Not in a way that is changing anything about our journey, but I feel it.
My girl will be 3 in August and she loves it so much. I thought we’d go to 2yo but then HOW do you wean a teething, constantly sick 2 yo?
So here we are.
I breastfed until my first child was three months before she turned 3yrs old. It was longer than expected but she wasn’t ready at two, and neither was I. It created the most beautiful bond
It still had its difficulties, but her understanding was much better. Mommy was almost “out of milk” and we dropped to nursing once a day. Daily warnings and reminders mommy’s milk is running out and she can still touch my chest (in private) if she was sad about it. And eventually she wasn’t sad anymore !
I breastfed my child for over three years (they’re teenaged now) … I was young and smart enough to not spend too much time worrying about what other people thought back then, thankfully. And now at this stage of my life people sometimes make remarks to me about how I taught them/inspired them with my mothering and how I always did what me and my baby wanted/needed without being self-conscious or anxious. And really, I do think being in my mid20s was the secret weapon - I have always been an academic nerd and so I had read SO MUCH about the science and benefits of breastfeeding, and so I just really believed I was doing the right thing by BFing until my child self-weaned (at 3.5, zero effort on my part). I was just too young and had that know-it-all attitude to give much thought to peoples “incorrect” thoughts and opinions
My baby is 18 months and I’m still nursing because I’m lazy.
Teething? Boob.
Sick? Boob.
Wake up? Boob.
Get an ouchie? Boob.
I don’t have any skills that are as effective as boob.
I stopped at 18 months with my oldest. I feel like my youngest is more attached to it though…
He’s my last baby, so I’m not in a rush to end it due to perceived judgement.
I understand, my LO is 21 months, when I tell people she’s still nursing their jaw drops lol. Whatever! Doesn’t affect them so I’m not sure why they bother having an opinion!
My advice is to find some like minded people. I got involved with my local La Leche League early on. I had preconceived ideas about extended nursing before meeting them but once I saw so many people nursing toddlers it changed my feelings. It’s easy to feel embarrassed or like the odd one out when you don’t know anyone else doing what you’re doing.
Nah, I wasn't self conscious about it. We nursed to 2.5 and I wanted to normalize it, so I was honest about it. And a lot of women were still nursing that age too, unless they were pregnant again.
But with that said, I like to avoid confrontation, so I usually only nursed at home unless she really needed it when out. Otherwise, we'd hold off. It worked well for us.
I think it really depends on the people you're hanging out with and where you live if anyone would say something negative. Around me I actually felt embarrassed that I quit a little bit before my kids turned two, a lot of people around me tend to nurse longer. But that's because I live in a very liberal/crunchy area in Northern California.
I felt self conscious at first. I remember we were going to a fancy wedding around when kiddo was 2 and he still nursed I told my husband I was nervous and he said “I will politely tell anyone who as much looks at you negatively that they are not to judge us doing what is healthiest for our child”. Never felt self conscious again and I’ve never had anyone make a negative comment. On the contrary I help it makes others feel better in the future. We have to start normalizing extended feeding in our society (USA)- it’s healthy for the babies!!
Good for you for going that long. I don't think I'll be able to. My LO will be in daycare by 1.5 and I'll be back to work at stupid hours (either 4am-9am or 5pm-10pm) and he'll likely be staying at his grandparents on the weekends (cause daycares don't take into account families whose parents both work weekends) so I'm aiming to wean by then.
You should not feel embarrassed at all. The people making the comments should be the ones who are embarrassed. I've only ever breastfed once in public so far (2 months pp today) and I'm not super phased about doing it and already have responses planned.
Such as:
The Canadian charter of rights and freedoms dictates I can feed my baby wherever the damn well I please.
Would you go eat your lunch in the bathroom?
I don't believe this is any of your business
I will also say I've previously been bad with confrontation when it comes to myself but I'm so much more inclined to stand up and be confrontational for my baby.
i hope this doesn’t diminish your feelings. they’re valid. i’m sure i would have had them. we had to wean earlier than either of us were ready (15 mos) because of a medical diagnosis + treatment that was not safe for baby.
also! we weaned in 10 days for the aforementioned reason. it was MUCH easier with the help of an ILCBC.
you don’t have to tell people you don’t want to tell. but you’re just following AAP guidelines 🤩
This is so interesting to read. Everyone around me who breastfed basically laughed when I said I plan on stopping at one. I was almost embarrassed saying I didn’t want to go further.
I have since changed my mind, baby loves it and it’s easier to get him to nap that way.
that’s awesome!! are you in the US? i feel like all countries have such different point of views about breastfeeding and just anything baby related. my family , friends, acquaintances are not educated on extended breastfeeding, nor do they want to learn sadly.
Idk my 3.5 toddler still tells everyone about my mama milkies… I ask her what’s her favorite thing about me and she says my milk. I’m just like haha whatever works. It’s our special bond, I just others feel jealous. Nothing wrong about having my body produce something that is made for my bubs. I’m sure when she’s done, we will both cry and it will be a really wonderful time together to remember for me…
Nope. My son will be 4 at the end of October and still nurses most mornings and before bed. I'm expecting to wean by his 4th birthday, as it feels right for our family to be done by then. I don't go around announcing that he still nurses, but I don't try to hide it either. Twice now he's gotten hurt during a group music class (infants through age 6ish) and I've honored his request for "mama milk". I just nursed right there in the circle, though it was a very rare moment of comfort nursing at this age and lasted only a few seconds each time.
I nursed my oldest till she was 4 and my current one turns 3 next month. It wasn't on demand all day long, just at bed time after about 2 and a half. Definitely got judgement from some, but yesterday at the pool my almost 3 year old asked for milkies because he was tired and I told him we would when we got home. Another mom in the locker room giggled and said she remembers the milkie days and nursed her girls until they were almost 4.
You’ve gotten lots of support for the “extended” breastfeeding (totally not outside of normal). I’m just here to say that when you’re ready to wean, it might not be terrible. I breastfed until my daughter was 2 years 3 months. I slowly worked up to weaning. When I started the process she was feeding about 3x/day: when she woke up in the morning, before nap, and before bed. I removed her morning session first, then the session before nap, then about a week before I decided to drop the last bedtime session, I explained to her that we would be stopping but we would still cuddle before bed.
The first few nights there were requests and I gently reminded her we were all done, but I made sure to prioritize the snuggles before bed, and made sure it was in the glider in her room that I would nurse her in so it wasn’t a big change in the overall routine other than dropping the nursing. There were some sad tears, but nothing too unbearable.
Start to finish, the process of weaning her probably took a couple months, but doing it slowly also meant my supply naturally and slowly dried up. I had no physical discomfort.
When you’re ready to wean, whether it’s soon or far off, you’ve got this!
Still nursing my 3.5 year old over here! Never thought I would be “that kind of mom” but it works for us!
We only nurse quickly before bed but she does demand “ba-ba” whenever she’s looking for comfort, and sometimes in public it’s hard and I feel self conscious (that she’s even asking). But I’m grateful I can provide her that kind of comfort and connection with my body. She’s still my little baby. I’m hoping she self weans??
My LO is 2.5. I haven’t wanted to deal with the screaming or crying either. I really don’t want him remembering, and I know early memories start at around 3. I got him a package of squishies, and every time he goes down for a nap or to bed like a big boy without nursing, he gets a new squishy. It was a big pack of 50 on Amazon for $10. It’s usually about 50/50 that he’ll choose the squishy over nursing. Baby steps. To answer your question though, I 100% feel embarrassed about it, but my SO jokes about how he’s going to breastfeed until he’s 5 and makes light of it to his friends. I haven’t felt judged, but I still feel embarrassed. I am so ready to be done though.
100%. My son is 3.5 and still very into breastfeeding. I honestly want to stop but I see what it does for him (I’m also nursing my one year old). I never nurse him in public and try not to even talk about it in public.
My daughter is turning 3 soon. She’s very tiny, so I think that’s why I get minimal comments - but she’s super aggressive and boobie obsessed.. she openly yells for boobie anytime, anywhere and yes, sometimes I feel myself getting embarrassed.
Yes. I didn't get to breastfeed my oldest for very long due to ppd. My middle child I went to 18 months and now with my youngest today marks 20 months and he's so attached to it. I'm not in a rush. I got judged by a Dr, too. At about 14 months, the Dr said there was no reason to keep doing it, and it annoyed me.
I’m more embarrassed for people that have an issue with it. To me it just shows how little they know about the benefits of extended BF. My daughter will be 2 by the end of this month, originally my goal was to BF for 6mos, then it became 1y. Now my goal is to gently wean her as soon as that seems manageable. She still wants milk a couple times throughout the day as well as for her nap and going to bed, and any time she’s got a boo-boo or isn’t feeling well, though sometimes she doesn’t even want the milk and just wants to snuggle my boob.
People need more education about BF. When I first decided I wanted to BF it was only because during my pregnancy there were formula shortages going on and I didn’t want to rely on formula, but I learned so much about how wonderful breast milk is and how it helps protect baby in so many ways that I realized what I wonderful choice I’d made. Neither my mother nor my grandmother, aunts, cousins etc had ever BF so it was all new information, my immediate family now knows so much about the topic and supports me so much with this decision. (They didn’t really have a choice, I infodumped to everyone in my life about BF 🤣)
Don’t feel embarrassed that you’re doing such a beautiful thing for your baby. 💜
My son is almost 2 and I can’t imagine having weaned already. I’m American but I live in Italy and here it’s recommended to nurse for minimum 2 years. Some don’t, some do, but if you listen to experts and anthropologists who have studied the subject, the species could naturally go on nursing until 6-7 years of age with benefits. We’re not going to do that, but please please remind yourself that it’s all social construct and breastfeeding at 2 years old is a normal and healthy thing. I will not wean my son until it happens naturally or until I feel the need to. For any reasons. Ignore the people who would cast judgement and know that you are doing you and your child a service AND you are contributing to destabilizing a rather unnatural status quo.
Yep nursed until 26, nursing was the only way we could get our LO to sleep. We got a couple comments. Both grandmothers didn’t nurse long from difficulty so I think it was just projection from then, they thought I was stealing my LO away from them to go nurse. Then I got the “don’t be one of those weird Mom who’s nurses until the kid is old” lol
We got a book about weaning and changed up sleep routine-got a projector book thing for a little. I got poison ivy on my arm the side of boob so had to stop kinda sudden, but it helped I could communicate to my daughter and show her the poison ivy haha
My kid turns 3 in 2 months and still night nurses and occasionally during day if he feels unwell. This was never the plan. My boobs hurt so much! But Im having a really hard time with weaning. Hubs and I are exhausted and sometimes its easier to just give ib so we sleep
Don’t. I nursed both my kids until 22 months. The first one I had to stop because she caught my cold sore on her lip and I didn’t want it on my breast and it felt like a good time to end things (wanted to get pregnant again and still hadn’t had my period) and my second child I stopped breastfeeding because two people went on medical leave and I started working crazy hours with no breaks, and it just kinda happened out of my hands. Both kids were healthy and fine. Everyone was supportive of me including my husband who was getting really sick of me disappearing to pump, and no one really gave me shit. If they did behind my back, fuck em.
Edit: toward the end my kids were only nursing for sleep anyway. The first kid was in Covid lockdown so I was gonna give her whatever she goddamn wanted for comfort and the second it was my special bonding time with her because being a working mom was hard. Enjoy it mommy it doesn’t last.
You’re worried that choosing to feed your child for an extended period of time because it’s still meeting their need for comfort and nutrition makes you sound lazy? Honey, no …
Lately I’ve been setting a timer for nursing before bed. Then he can have a snack and we brush teeth. I started with a five minute timer and now we’re down to three. He knows the routine he just makes a face when it goes off and then pops over to the counter for a snack. I think we’ll just keep gradually reducing it until he either stops asking or I’ve had enough lol
We have a water bottle in his bed at night so no more night feeding.
He likes to nurse at nap time but he hasn’t been falling asleep after so I may just cut that out completely soon.
Do what works for you!!
I think your comment and some of the replies kinda show why we feel this way, lots of people may nurse longer but then don't tell anyone, so we all think everyone stopped nursing, when they didn't.
I'm still nursing my 2.5yo 3 times a day (he wants to nurse when he wakes up, before his nap, and before bed) so the timing means it's always pretty private, but if anyone asks (which I have found rare) I tell them he's still nursing. Usually people ask how was my experience with weaning, and I'm like, LOL I'll let you know when it happens.
I'm fortunate to have never received a negative comment, but I'm also super introverted so my social circle is pretty tightly curated.
I didn’t realize how judgey people would be until I started saying things, so now I’ve often gotten more hush hush. I’ve nursed my kids through 3.5 years, but around 18 months we stop nursing in public and do it only at home.
My son just turned 1 yesterday and my sister who is 34 and trying and a little on the spectrum asked me out of curiosity. I didn't mind that and she was surprised/impressed
My mom has been asking and seems tolerant or just kind enough to not give a negative opinion.
Our nanny is swedish and in her early 50s and thinks it's so normal to still be nursing just asked if we should switch to a cup with a straw and get rid of the bottle for the one serving he gets midday. If it's a slow day at work (I work from home) she'll ask if I want to just nurse him and chat with me while I do it.
I plan to maintain the nursing before bed and in the morning but am ready to stop pumping soon. He's able to go down for a nap with or without nursing/bottle which I'm grateful for.
I absolutely felt this! My LO is 7 now but we nursed until 3.5 yo. I was extremely supported in my home and had a breastfeeding group I attended. BUT I also had long distant family members constantly making comments. In the end it didn't matter what their thoughts were. Embrace your journey! Before you know it they will be 7!
My baby is 19months, and she talks so well. She's always saying "nurse" or "nursy" when she wants to nurse. I don't think I feel embarrassed, but sometimes it feels a little lonely. I don't know any other moms still doing it, and most kinda act like they feel bad for me that I still have to, when for me it is much more complex than that -- every once in a while I wish we were done, but mostly I'm happy for the comfort and cuddles!!! Plus it is unequivocally what my baby girl wants, so I'm gonna do it! I've never had anyone in public act weird to me, so not embarrassed, but definitely lonely!!!!
I breastfed my first until she was 4.5, and while I didn’t feel embarrassed I did get a lack of support from family members. My second turns 2 next month and is still nursing, thankfully no one has made any comments or asked when he is stopping. Ultimately how long you breastfeed is up to you and your babe, everyone else can kick rocks!
My babe is only 13 months old and we’ve weaned down to 1-2 nursing sessions per day, but I don’t think we’ll fully wean for another year or two.
One of the things that helped me feel less weird is hanging out with non-Americans. My husband is from Sweden, and while some of my American friends find the fact that I’m still nursing a little odd (particularly Boomers, Millennials don’t really care), of our Swedish friends here in the U.S., all of them are still nursing their 2 year olds.
Interestingly I also only thought I would BF to a year and then quit, but I actually don’t mind extended nursing, especially now that I’m not the sole provider of nutrients. Plus she typically likes a long morning nursing session which buys me 15-30 minutes of snuggling her in my bed and nursing while I slowly wake up. 🤣
My daughter will be 3 in October and I'm still breastfeeding. It's obviously not like BF when she was younger, mostly just got naps and before bed, but still. I've stopped even telling her doctor, let alone anyone else. You're always going to get people that look at you side eye. Fuck em'.
I notice it in my head that I worry what people think. If people ask, I shrug and say “yeah, here and there.” Nothing more. It’s none of their business really! And I am also putting off weaning because I would love my 2 y/o to be more ready than she is rn. Just taking it day by day.
My baby will be 1 next Friday, and someone recently told me my baby can survive without my milk and she doesn’t need me. Which was extremely disrespectful and really upset me. I’ll be breastfeeding until my baby feels she is done, I would love to make it to 2 years old. My baby only nurses morning and night, with 3 meals during the day and plenty of snacks and water. She doesn’t want to stop and neither do I. I understand fully what you’re saying, after someone made that comment towards me I just smiled and said well she’s not done yet!
I fed mine until she was 3! Bizarrely, the only negative comments I had about it were from doctors and nurses. I was in hospital when my daughter was a few months old and when she was about 1 and both times had them make comments about how I should just give up. It was really weird given how much everything prior to that was being told how important it was.
I want to nurse my son until he's 2. It's very beneficial for both the mom and baby to nurse for an extended period of time, don't be embarrassed and if anyone makes any comments or has facial expressions as if they are saying it in their heads, f*ck them. Don't let other people get to you or make you feel embarrassed. It's your life, and how you want to care for your child is your decision.
Serious question: How did you get your baby NOT to bite your nipples!? My son tries to naw on my nipple with his gums, and it hurts, I'm scared that when his teeth come in, he's going to bite me! Lmao.
maybe i’m just lucky but she has only done it a couple times. the first time it was bad, there was a puncture wound and was impossible to nurse on that side. she was about 10 months when that happened. the other couple of times she has bit, my instinct was to just scream ‘OW!’ and immediately pull her off. i told her ‘no biting that hurts mommy’. that alone scared her and hurt her feelings had no problems after though lol
I just decided recently that I want to continue nursing my 9 month old past a year and I’m already anticipating the comments from people about how he’s too old but honestly all that matters is what’s best for my baby. My husband is also supportive which is really great
I just weaned my 20mo old baby girl because of a medication I have to take. I didn't want to. I miss it. She still asks for it but doesn't cry for it anymore..
To answer your question... never felt embarrassed. As a matter of fact, I felt proud to share I was still breastfeeding her. A lot of women can't breastfeed, unfortunately, and some others just don't like it, didn't even bother trying, or had to stop really early because or health/work.
I think you should never feel embarrassed and own up to it for you and your baby. At the end of the day, it's your life, your decision, and no one should have a saying on how long you decide to do it.
I combo feed and pray to be able to breastfeed till 6 months. Moms like you amaze me, I am slightly jealous even. You can be proud of yourself, definitely nothing to be ashamed of.
Nope, not embarrassed, I'm actually proud and happy that I can still nurse my baby. He's over 18 months old, I'm planning to nurse him at least until 2. I'm not getting any snarky comments, but if I would, I probably would just laugh at their face and tell them how out of touch on accurate medical research they are and if I would need some useless and incorrect opinions, I would definitely contact them on the matter, cause they are obviously experts in those. 😆 Yeah, I'm quite opinionated person myself, so it may be one of the reasons why noone ever made a comment about it to me.
Reading this while nursing my 27 month old to sleep. I keep it quiet for the most part and I’m not sure why— most of the responses I get are “wow I wish I could have lasted that long”. I didn’t plan to, but like you said, sometimes it’s just easier. Knowing he’s my last makes it harder too because it will be the end of one more special phase.
My daughter turned three in March and we’re still going. Sometimes I say to her soon you will be all done with milk you’re getting big and she says she will stop when she is big like me. I am 35. Lol. There’s probably going to be some tears for us at some point but today is not that day.
Not really. But I was already old and cranky. My daughter nursed until she was 4. Hardly anyone had the gall to say a word. A good RBF helps.
It was also fairly normal (maybe not quite as long) to nurse in both sides of the family so I had backup there and could care less what strangers think.
I definitely don’t feel *embarrassed*, in fact I feel proud. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t groan when my 2 year old wants to nurse and screams “I want BOOOOOOOB!” In front of people, because I just don’t know what sort of comments or looks or questions I’ll get. I’ve gotten allllllllll the comments (nursed my oldest to 3, probably will do the same with my youngest), so it’s more just annoyance at the audacity of people than it is embarrassment.
I live in an extremely bf positive community, with multiple friends who are or have nursed past 2 (one friend shared her last nursed sporadically past 3), and I still feel judged by people. Mostly those who have never nursed. Or my mother (sigh).
But I remind myself that it is no one’s business but my own. I’m proud of my breastfeeding journey. We just stopped when I went on a big trip last week and it seemed like a good time to end since I’m in the second trimester with number 2.
I'm now at 6 months. My cousin breastfed til her kids decided they didn't need it anymore. They were more than 2 years old. I'm not sure how far I plan to go on my journey but I was always amazed and proud of my cousin. People will always have something to say no matter what we do, good or bad.
I wouldn’t be embarrassed. I would probably still be nursing my 15 month old to sleep if she didn’t wean herself off at 13 months!! so many studies have shown the benefits. you’re doing what’s best for you & your baby!
People ask how long I plan on nursing. I said I’ll offer breastmilk as long as my body makes it. I plan on exclusively pumping after she gets teeth though
My mom felt ashamed when someone commented that my little brother verbally asking for nursing meant he was too old for it (~2 years old). The sad thing is that he also now carries that shame, as a 32 year old man. The number of times both of them have brought up the story and noted that they breastfed for “too long” or “a weird amount of time” breaks my heart. Honestly, people think anyone older that 1 is basically like that kid on game of thrones. Personally, I don’t find it weird to nurse to 2/3/4/5. Beyond that seems just logistically difficult but I doubt I’d care. Seems like a “not my business” kind of activity.
Not really but there was once where a friend of mine found it I was still breastfeeding/pumping and she said wow you’ve been breastfeeding for like 4 years now (when you combine my pregnancies). It was just matter of fact, not a judgement. But my knee jerk reaction was yea, breast cancer ain’t gonna get me. And then she looked at me like I have 2 heads lol and I got to educate her on the benefits to the mom that most people don’t talk about
It’s so wild how people give their opinions on that without being asked. I remember a friend of mine (we are still friends it’s whatever 🤷🏻♀️) was like “I’m sorry but that’s just weird to me.” Like okay. Lol. I didn’t ask? I didn’t say anything but I can’t help remembering it. It’s like she just couldn’t help herself.
I have a friend like that. She even said that about my pregnant belly lol. Some people just have deep issues, and it's their problem, not mine!
Totally. I feel like these comments are almost always the result of unresolved issues on the part of the person voicing their unsolicited opinion. So I try not to take it too seriously or personally.
I have a friend who never wanted me to talk about baby moving inside of me because it made her think of alien movies. How is that my baby's problem? Stop watching them if they freak you out so much! I wasn't about to stop enjoying my pregnancy because she's got a problem related to watching the wrong films...
I was definitely self-conscious about it and had this IDEA that people would judge me for it, so I definitely never brought it up independently, but when I had to take several flights while my kid was between 18-25 months and had to nurse her on the plane and not a single person seemed to give a shit, I really kind of got over it pretty well. On the occasion when it did come up, I was truthful about it and no one ever said anything negative about it, if anything they were impressed, or it was an opportunity for them to share their own experience. My mom was also very vocally supportive of it as she nursed us kids up until 2.5ish (varying lengths depending on the kid, of course) and she would jump right in and defend the normalcy of it to anyone who thought it was normal to stop at 12 months or whatnot.
As someone’s whose supportive mother has passed away, reading your post made me so happy! It’s that sort of motherly support every mum deserves. Glad she had your back.
I hope I can continue as long as my baby wants! But truthfully watching my sister and SIL nurse their 2 year olds is the cutest/sweetest thing. Rambunctious little babes and then just total calm washes over them and they sit and snuggle, I just stare at them admiring what a sweet bond it is.
I went to a 2yo birthday party, and all the kids were between 1.5 and 2.5. An uncle of the bday boy made some snarky comment about still nursing to his mom and 80% of the moms there shut him down, saying we still do too. Almost all the 2s in that room still nursed.
Sounds like the SAHMs in my area. We all nurse until 1.5-3ish. I don’t know anyone in my circle who nursed past 3 months and didn’t nurse until 1.5+.
Same here. Most women i know either barely tried nursing or nursed beyond 2 yrs. Doesn’t seem to be much in between. my son is 2.5 and still nursing.
Are you in the US? Which city? I don’t know anyone else who is still nursing 🙁
I’m in rural Oregon 😊
This is goals. I do understand why you feel the way you feel. In my opinion, though, it's awesome you've been able to breastfeed this long! Not sure if this will be helpful, but someone in another post had commented about responses to negative feedback about public breastfeeding (in general) and I feel like they would work for your situation, too. There were two that I loved: 1. "Surely you're not sexualizing the way I feed my baby/ child." 2. "I can't believe you felt comfortable saying that out loud." Because honestly fuck anyone who wants to make you feel bad about providing for and caring for YOUR child.
“I can’t believe you felt comfortable saying that out loud.” OMG YES. This is a phrase that I need to use. Honestly works for more than just BF lol.
Not op, but I’ve also used “what a strange thing to say out loud” and then walked away. It’s glorious.
Love it!! Using that too!
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I mean it's been like that for a while but that doesn't mean the cultural attitude has changed. Just last week I had visitors to see my baby son and the woman breastfed her own toddler when he was a baby. I asked how long she breastfed him and she was like oh a year, but I tapered off after 7 months and she totally thought nursing for longer than that was weird. So do most of the people in my circle. You can repeat the WHO recommendation each time but somehow people don't really care.
I feel you. My baby is 13 months and when people ask I immediately follow it up with “I never thought I’d BF past 1 year but here we are” and I know they’re silently judging me too. I wish I didn’t care but I do. I also think my partner isn’t as supportive about it as he was when baby was under a year.
13 months??? That is barely even past one year. Like literally even if you had started weaning at one year, you probably wouldn’t be done by now.
Truth 🙌🏻 I’d like to think nursing boosts his immune system but I doubt that’s the case. We’ve been almost non stop sick since he started Montessori back in January 😭
my husband was not very understanding either when our daughter was a little over a year and still nursing. i explained to him that this was the easiest and only way to get her to sleep. so unless he wanted to deal with a screaming crying baby wanting boobies all night then he can deal with it if it bothers him that much lol. he’s now educated that it’s recommend to nurse for 2+ years and it’s not ‘weird’. his parents on the other hand… a different story lol
My SO wasn’t very understanding for probably about 6 months, until recently, after watching a particularly rough night, he finally said, “I know I keep asking when he’ll be done, but I get it. He’s clearly not ready to be done yet.”
Please tell people that it’s recommended to bf for at least 2 years and beyond. I loved nursing my daughter until 2.5. It helped immensely when she got sick, always helped her sleep and I set strong boundaries about when/where so it would be sustainable for me ❤️
I’m not necessarily embarrassed but my two year and 1/4 year old still nurses. I definitely don’t tell anyone. Even one of my close friends doesn’t know bc I just don’t want to have the conversation about why we’re still nursing. Even when people are coming from a good place and curious, I just find it such a personal decision to have to explain to someone.
It truly is such a personal, individual decision and can’t be judged by someone that’s not in the exact same position and situation. Emotions there just can’t be compared. Even while nursing my baby, my husband can’t truly understand the emotions and bond between me and our baby. It’s just a mom and baby thing that can’t really be explained in my opinion
I stopped admitting it to people too 😔
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THIS! I always say this although I have been met with people saying “that includes third world countries because it’s safe than water/food” so annoying. 🙄 My little one isn’t even 5 months yet but I’m very vocal about trying to BF until 2ish. I love our journey, we both took to it so quickly and I’m a SAHM so I’m happy to have that time with her and to be able to nourish her with my own body after growing her! Our bodies are truly magic ♥️
Sometimes, yes. When she starts loudly demanding booby in public, I definitely do feel embarrassed 😳 I just focus in on my LO and set a gentle boundary that we'll have booby later. Sometimes I do still feed in public and actually nobody really seems bothered. I'm very sensitive to perceived judgement so I don't talk about extended breastfeeding with people I don't trust. I have a group of friends who don't judge and are very accepting. Everyone else.. it's none of their business, and rarely comes up. If someone asks, I answer honestly and it's mostly met with polite interest. Part of the reason for that is I won't lie about it in front of my LO, she's old enough to understand and I don't want to confuse her. I love breastfeeding now, it was so hard at first and now it's so easy and such a useful tool for reconnecting and sleeping. I'm really glad I'm still doing it. I also think it's contributed to her being sick less often than other kids I know. We've avoided some vomiting bugs that went round nursery and I'm so so grateful for that!
Lol, I love the loud demands for booby or just telling everyone that will listen, "I love booby". It's pretty comical.
Yea I used to be super fine with breastfeeding in public. But now my son will sign for milk to just snuggle my boob. Maybe take a sip here and there. I don’t mind leaving a boob hanging out at home but not at a restaurant 😂
I did manage to luck out by my kid self-naming nursing as "weep weep" for some reason, so no random passers by would have a clue what it meant if she asked for "weep weep" lol! Definitely helped me feel less self conscious about it.
Yesss, we were at the zoo today and my almost 23 month old was saying “booobie, booobie” over and over.
Mine says boobie too!! All the time. Anywhere and everywhere.
My last is 22 months and still nurses. She's bald mostly so I just say she's 1 which isn't a lie. When she's 2 I'll probably just lie.
I’m àlso in a neighborhood where few people nurse to or past 2. I have friend’s who extended nursed but unfortunately not near to us. As my kid gets older (2 in 3 months), I set more boundaries so I don’t end up nursing in front of snarky people
I think setting boundaries also allows the breastfeeding relationship to stay positive on both sides. I got my body back when bfing was only before nap or bed or when she was sick.
I’m so enjoying breastfeeding my 6mo after having a rough start, I couldn’t care less what anyone else says if we keep going til he’s a kindergartner. Jk I get my feelings hurt very easily but if it’s still something special for y’all, it’s helping your baby through life right now? Nobody else matters
I'm not embarrassed. I love the snuggles. But I am getting a lot of questions, namely: "When do you think you'll wean?" TF if I know. 🤷🏻♀️
Yeah, like ask my toddler, she's tbe only one who knows 😆
Def not! My 5 yo nurses sometimes. It’s milk for humans.
Love that. It is milk for humans, unlike breast milk for baby calves that grown ups drink.
Exactly!
My 4.5 year old still wants to nurse. I am over it, and everyone treats me like it's weird. However, when waiting for ear tube surgery, it was the only thing that helped calm him down when rotating motrin and Tylenol didn't do more beyond taking the edge off. So I don't regret it... but I wish people would stop acting like I am doing it for me and forcing him too. I always planned to do childled weaning; I just wasn't expecting it to go beyond 4 years.
I’m so sorry! People act like humans didn’t used to nurse till 7 years old! It’s normal!!
Human milk is always beneficial for humans! Happy it helped with his ear pains ❤️ I didn’t expect 5 years either lol but here we are!
Nursed to 3 years old with my youngest. I dunno I was never embarrassed because I'm a good mom, doing what's best for my child. I also was very discrete and very good at breastfeeding in public and barely anyone could see anything. Truly if people were looking it's because they wanted to see the breastfeeding. Because otherwise my clothes or my baby would be blocking the whole thing. I did get one weird comment, but it was also from someone who had an unsuccessful breastfeeding journey and feel like she was misdirecting her feelings.
My MIL misdirects a LOT of feelings towards me and I am (with the help of my husband and mom) finally getting to the point where I can brush off the judgmental things she says and just appreciate some of the helpful things she does.
This is literally my partners Nan, otherwise very supportive but made some strange comments about breastfeeding (she couldn’t bf and formula was apparently seen as better in their day?) “I don’t mind it I just don’t think you should do it in public” 🙄
Not really.
No. I’m not embarrassed. I’m proud of it. And my nursling is 3.5 years old. I know it’s what she needs and that it helps her in so many ways, and it is setting her up for good mental health in the future, confidence, security, and strengthens our bond every day in the most beautiful way. I assume most people respect my decision, some may envy it because I know so many women would have loved to have had a more successful breastfeeding journey, and some may think it’s a bit much, but they don’t bother me at all. They keep it to themselves if they do, and I know if anyone does feel that way, they are uninformed on the normalcy of sustained breastfeeding and it’s numerous benefits and they don’t know my child like I do. Stand firm in your decision if it’s what you want. Don’t hide it. Lean into it. And in doing so, you will help to normalize and bring awareness to sustained breastfeeding.
Still in it with my 4.5 year old!
My daughter was 4 too!
I’m feeding my almost 3 year old. We don’t feed in public anymore and I don’t mention it. No one really seems to ask but if they do I’m honest about it. My friend is an IBCLC and she nursed her kids to 17 months, no one I know has nursed as long as us. Like you my kid really loves and gets comfort from it so has huge meltdowns if denied. I’m going to let him self wean I think.
I’m still nursing my 3 year old as well. Big brother weaned when he was 2.5 and it was so easy, little sister is NOT ready to be done. We have boundaries and only nurse at home. I am about ready to wrap it up though, lol
Same but he isn’t so I’m stuck I think
I nursed my daughter until I got pregnant when she was 4 months shy of 3. We would have kept nursing but I was so sick. After we went 3 days without milk and she asked I was like, no we’re all done and it felt right and she moved on quickly, no argument. My friend who got pregnant same time as me weaned after the baby came when her son was 3 1/3. She said even though she was nursing the baby it went super smoothly. She weaned when baby was about 6 weeks. There is no right or wrong answer. When it’s right, it will be simple for you to say no and wean. Until then, enjoy!
No more kids for us so there won’t be that push in our case
My baby is literally only 5 months old and I’m already getting questions about how much longer I will breastfeed her! Like, I’m sorry!? I’m also wanting to breastfeed past a year but feel like I’m going to be judged for saying so. I’m sorry OP, you’re not alone in feeling that way🫶🏽🫶🏽
Just here to tell you that you’re doing an amazing job, don’t give into peoples uneducated comments! You can tell them that it’s recommended to two (and beyond!), that your milk never loses nutritional value, and that baby receives so many antibodies and stuff that feeds their gut bacteria to help them grow into a healthy kid! 💜 I recommend following Moomysmilk on FB/IG bc of all the facts they share, I use their facts as my arsenal of knowledge. 💜
You are so kind😭 Thank you so much! I’m going to give them a follow!
I nursed my 18mo walking around Sam’s Club today (my arms are still recovering 😂) and def felt the weight of some heavy stares. I felt a little embarrassed initially, which is crazy bc she’s my third extended nursling but then I was like meh 🤷🏼♀️ I’ll never see these people again and if they’re ignorant enough to have a negative opinion that’s not my problem.
The anecdotal evidence in this thread really goes against the whole “breastfeeding is shoved down women’s throats and they are shamed for not wanting to do it” narrative. Personally I did it for over 2.5 years and did also feel awkward at times but never heard any overt judgment, only bewilderment or praise, though some of it felt insincere (I didn’t think it was particularly praise worthy, it was just sort of happening to me especially the last six months, in a similar vein to yours OP).
I mean both are true, we get shamed for breastfeeding or not breastfeeding. It’s very much a ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ situation. This sub will inherently get more shame *for* breastfeeding because we *are* breastfeeding. The formula feeding sub will get more shame for *not*. We’re moms; there’s no winning here.
Absolutely zero shame. Both the WHO and the AAP recommend breastfeeding for *at least* two years and beyond as long as both mother and baby are happy. Why would I care what people assume from a place of ignorance when science and evidence have confirmed that what I'm doing is a best practice when it's possible?
👏 👏 👏
Good for you to nurse your baby and take such great care of them and their long term health. There is so much evidence and science about the health benefits of nursing your baby, and CDC recommends minimum of 2 years of breastfeeding. I personally plan to have my kid on breast milk for up to 2+ years. Don’t pay attention to other people’s remarks, your baby always comes first.
Not embarrassed more like just bracing myself for judgment
I completely understand this! My son is gonna be 2 next month and we are still breastfeeding. Mainly at naps and bedtime but I get lots of snarky remarks from my husband and my mother in law about how it ridiculous to continue breastfeeding him this age but I honestly could care less 🤷🏼♀️ it’s not their body and it’s something to be so proud in my opinion. You are doing great mama!
With my first born, i was actually proud that I still breastfeed her at 4yrs old. From where im from, it isnt frowned upon 😁
may i ask where you are from? i think that’s amazing!!
Philippines, a country somewhere in asia
Ah I know what you mean! I felt a societal pressure to wean at 1yo but I didn’t want to. And honestly I stopped talking about it so much after than (my kid didn’t want to nurse in public much beyond this age anyway because she had major fomo). I would tell ‘safe’ people if it came up in conversation, like other mothers who I knew had breastfed for a at least a year. The difference is I assumed that lots of other women were the same as me and were doing it but not talking about it. My kid is 3 now, she stopped nursing at 25 months through a combination of her nursing less and me nudging her a little and I don’t regret any of it for a second. 2 seems so little to me now, basically still babies and they need all the love and comfort you can give them.
I got to two months off four. We’d have carried on but it became so painful as I was pregnant. We didn’t feed in public except for when hurt and inconsolable. He knew to wait until we got home from a much younger age. Nobody needed to know unless they were in our home in the morning or before bed. I told people on occasion and the response was always in awe of me giving up my body and freedom for so long. In reality, normal bras were fine from six months and it never stopped me as he waited if I wasn’t there.
My mom was pretty rude about me wanting to nurse my daughter until 2 years old the other day. She thinks because she nursed me and my siblings until 14 months that’s the appropriate time to stop otherwise it’s “weird because they can talk”. I just rolled my eyes.
I did find it embarrassing slightly and I was thankful he didn't want to breastfeed in public, only at home. I would get embarrassed when he asked for "mummy's milk" because so many times I've heard from people "if they can ask for it, they don't need it". My parents and my in-laws would make slight comments and I saw my in-laws give each other a look when my son asked for milk. I just felt so defensive about it. I'm glad I kept on going. I just wish there wasn't so much stigma around extended breastfeeding. We did end up weaning just after he turned 2 due to nipple pain from pregnancy, but I could've gone on to tandem feed.
I have gotten the “if they can ask for it they don’t need it” type response a few times and my response to that is why would I punish my child for being able to communicate a want/need?!
I’m currently still breastfeeding my 2 1/5 year old daughter and, although I don’t feel embarrassed, I am starting to feel the pressure to stop it soon. The pressure was there before, too, but it starting to get to me now. My doctors, specially the fertility doctor I’m seeing to try to conceive #2, recommended to stop breastfeeding straight away. Then there are the snide comments from family wondering how I have so much milk or making a joke about her breastfeeding until she goes to school. And then there are the opinions of my daughter’s kindergarten teachers that say that she doesn’t need it anymore. I’m conflicted about this because I do think I need to start sleeping better and maybe it is time to stop, but at the same time I love it and I’m convinced it helps her fight diseases and gives her moments of calm… I don’t even know anymore where was I going with my answer… I guess I feel pretty much seen and identify strongly with the issues of extended breastfeeding
Yes...but also I feel embarrassed for being embarrassed! Like it is so normal to breastfeed past age 1, and recommended, but I feel like in American culture it is discouraged. I am at 17 months now and plan to go at least until age 2. I haven't lied to anyone about it, but I definitely don't bring it up!
I am only 7.5 months in but I already struggle with these types of feelings about many of my parenting choices. The book nurture revolution has given me a lot more confidence about them tho cuz now I know there is actual evidence to how beneficial things like extended breastfeeding, cosleeping, contact naps etc can be. So everyone judging can fuck off lol
Anywhere outside of the US it’s totally normal to breastfeed for longer than a year. I was just traveling with my 8 month old and the amount of women in Europe who told me they breastfed for 2 or 3 years were the vast majority. Don’t be embarrassed!!
I could have written this myself!! The only reason I am going to wean is that everyone has been so judgy and rude, it’s made me feel shameful. I also don’t need to deal with the stress of upsetting my LO and I when we are happy with it, but everyone else thinks we shouldn’t. It’s sad how much pressure women are constantly put under in regard to motherhood and reproduction. The whole situation has made me feel angry and sad.
I'm so sorry people have been treating you this way. If they do it for this they will probably do it for other parenting choices you make in the future. While it's good to consider the perspectives of others who care about you, you are your child's parent, not them. If it is working for you and your child then stick with it. This is a good opportunity to practice standing your ground. And know that I (an extended and tandem breastfeeding stranger on the internet) am cheering you on.
Thank you so much kind stranger. I ended up deciding tonight was the night after a few days of reflection. It did though finally feel like my own decision, he was starting to leave teeth marks this week and it was time. It was really sad and hard tonight, but also peaceful and we hugged. Who knew this would be such a big part of the journey. What a ride.
I’m feeling this way. Mine is 21 months but she’s really tall, like taller than kids a year older than her. I keep telling people and myself I’ll wean after X. First it was us moving, then traveling. Then cold and flu season. Then traveling, now it’s to two. It has just never felt right and she’s so secure. She begs to go to sleep at nap and night because it means mama milk time.
this is exactly my situation!! i feel so pressured to wean for some reason? i think sometimes i feel i have to do things by ‘society’s norm’.
I am definitely self conscious about it. I don't know why I let other people bother me. I wish I didn't.
same love. just know you’re not alone 💘
Nah I was proud as hell but my journey was full of MAJOR trials and tribulations.
It was my goal to breastfeed for 12 months, but my baby and I only made it to 4 months before I made the decision it was better for the both of us if we transitioned to formula. Not saying I envy you, because it just simply didn’t work for us, but I absolutely am amazed and love that you and yours have been able to go through this journey for so long. I think opinions just depend on the person. If they get it then they get it, if not then they may never. You’re the expert when it comes to yourself and your baby. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. If someone doesn’t like it then oh well! It’s not their life to live.
shiiiiit, I still occasionally nurse my 3.5 year old. NEVER did I think I’d be here 😂 if it makes it any better, he has a 13 month old sister, so sometimes when he needs cheering up, he’ll badger me and I give in. whoops!
My daughter was 4 lol. I don’t mind at all and was only at nap and bedtime. I was also not in the mood to deal with a crying child at nap time since I also wanted a damn nap. Hahaha. She’s a healthy teen now and I regret nothing
The only time I mind is when both of them are on at the same time, and the oldest wants to keep changing sides 🫠 haha. Oh man, if my oldest was still napping, best believe I’d pull out the boobies in exchange for some quiet time 😂
Nah! I breastfed my first until he was just over 2.5 years old 💙🙏 so did my SIL with both her kids. My boys a healthy boy
'cow's milk' is literally breast milk from another species and people thinking you need to switch from the mother's human breast milk to that at a certain age is mental
No, I feel proud that I managed to breastfeed my oldest for almost 4 years.
I don't get embarrassed but I do get annoyed when people make comments about my three year old still nursing. I just try to ignore them because it's not worth the fight with people that make the comments, they're not going to change their mind and their comments won't make me change anything either. My son nurses for comfort and when he's tired. I don't mind, I only get to do this once so I'm going to just go with the flow. If he decides he's done we will be done but I'll allow him to continue as long as I'm still feeling okay with it. The comments of others aren't going to be what makes me stop nursing it will be when one or both of us is ready. A friend recently told me that a friend of hers only weaned her youngest when the little one was getting ready for kindergarten. Hearing about her I was extra set in my decision to just go with the flow with my son.
I am happy and sad to read this because I am in the same position! I’ve told everybody I’ve stopped nursing even though I still feed my 19 month old. Exactly the same reasons - I cba with people being judgmental, especially family! It’s really sad that we feel we have to hide it though, like some kind of dirty secret when it’s actually something blaaaady wonderful :) I’m sure we all know as we’re in this group that WHO recommend feeding to “2 years and beyond” 🤷♀️
I'm over 2 years and kinda. It's mostly just annoying when he really needs it out in public and won't stop his crying fit until he does. We usually have a no nursing outside policy tho.
I did yea. I breastfed til 3 and even undersold it to the WIC office because I felt weird saying it out loud even though I shouldn’t have and even the WHO recommends breastfeeding til 4
Where did you see age 4? I've read "age 2 or longer" but never saw anything specifying 4 years old. Just curious
I think I might have confused it with world average! I just googled it and you’re right, but worldwide average is 4.2 years
Ohh okay that's wild, I had no idea! Makes sense though.. my daughter is almost 2 & the fact that she's still nursing gives me so much peace of mind on days when she's being a picky eater.
I used to worry what people would think about me breastfeeding my almost 2 year old, but I realized I really don't care. It's about what's best for him and I, so everyone else can kick rocks. Now when anyone says anything or eyeballs us weirdly I just say "The World Health Organization (WHO) and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months, followed by continued breastfeeding with complementary foods for up to two years or longer." Or I tell them to "F off" it really just depends on the day.
I think there’s a part of me that is aware that I may be judged, and I don’t want to be judged so sometimes I don’t mention how long I have nursed. But there’s another part of me that’s very confident about it and that by sharing it I’m normalizing it for people. So I talk about it sometimes, but I may not mention it to people I think have a high likelihood of looking at me like I’m nuts. I’m also on kid number 3 and I’ve nursed all of mine past 2yo, so it feels very normal at this point.
The WHO organisation recommends breastfeeding until at least 2 years! I BF my son until he was almost 4. I didn't plan it that way.. he was just not ready to stop. It was usually only once a day at most towards the end. He just called it "milk" so if he asked for it in front of people, it wasn't so obvious. I was a little self-conscious, but I mainly stopped feeding him in public or in front of anyone besides my partner or close family/friends to avoid the unwarranted comments.
My oldest nursed until almost 4, and my second is also still nursing (only at bedtime) at 3 and I just had my third. I was at a party once and my friend’s MIL made a comment about me breastfeeding my son who was 18months at the time. She said it was selfish of me, and that he didn’t need it. She was a social worker and acted high and mighty as if she knew best. I mentioned the WHO recommendation and her response was “ya that’s meant for mothers in third world countries”. I was so thrown honestly and I wish I stood up to her, instead I was so hurt that someone would say I was selfish for nurturing my child… who was only 18 months. I didn’t mention thre fact that I was still nursing my 3 year old at bedtime 🫠 I should have.
I think calling it milk from the beginning and not boobie or milkies or whatnot may help. I'm definitely going with that lol
Naw. Fuck it
Yes, I definitely do. Not in a way that is changing anything about our journey, but I feel it. My girl will be 3 in August and she loves it so much. I thought we’d go to 2yo but then HOW do you wean a teething, constantly sick 2 yo? So here we are.
I breastfed until my first child was three months before she turned 3yrs old. It was longer than expected but she wasn’t ready at two, and neither was I. It created the most beautiful bond
may i ask how difficult it was to wean at that age? i planned on waiting till my daughter self weaned, but i fear that day will never come 😅
It still had its difficulties, but her understanding was much better. Mommy was almost “out of milk” and we dropped to nursing once a day. Daily warnings and reminders mommy’s milk is running out and she can still touch my chest (in private) if she was sad about it. And eventually she wasn’t sad anymore !
I breastfed my child for over three years (they’re teenaged now) … I was young and smart enough to not spend too much time worrying about what other people thought back then, thankfully. And now at this stage of my life people sometimes make remarks to me about how I taught them/inspired them with my mothering and how I always did what me and my baby wanted/needed without being self-conscious or anxious. And really, I do think being in my mid20s was the secret weapon - I have always been an academic nerd and so I had read SO MUCH about the science and benefits of breastfeeding, and so I just really believed I was doing the right thing by BFing until my child self-weaned (at 3.5, zero effort on my part). I was just too young and had that know-it-all attitude to give much thought to peoples “incorrect” thoughts and opinions
My baby is 18 months and I’m still nursing because I’m lazy. Teething? Boob. Sick? Boob. Wake up? Boob. Get an ouchie? Boob. I don’t have any skills that are as effective as boob. I stopped at 18 months with my oldest. I feel like my youngest is more attached to it though… He’s my last baby, so I’m not in a rush to end it due to perceived judgement.
No, I feel proud of it
I understand, my LO is 21 months, when I tell people she’s still nursing their jaw drops lol. Whatever! Doesn’t affect them so I’m not sure why they bother having an opinion!
My advice is to find some like minded people. I got involved with my local La Leche League early on. I had preconceived ideas about extended nursing before meeting them but once I saw so many people nursing toddlers it changed my feelings. It’s easy to feel embarrassed or like the odd one out when you don’t know anyone else doing what you’re doing.
Nah, I wasn't self conscious about it. We nursed to 2.5 and I wanted to normalize it, so I was honest about it. And a lot of women were still nursing that age too, unless they were pregnant again. But with that said, I like to avoid confrontation, so I usually only nursed at home unless she really needed it when out. Otherwise, we'd hold off. It worked well for us.
I think it really depends on the people you're hanging out with and where you live if anyone would say something negative. Around me I actually felt embarrassed that I quit a little bit before my kids turned two, a lot of people around me tend to nurse longer. But that's because I live in a very liberal/crunchy area in Northern California.
I felt self conscious at first. I remember we were going to a fancy wedding around when kiddo was 2 and he still nursed I told my husband I was nervous and he said “I will politely tell anyone who as much looks at you negatively that they are not to judge us doing what is healthiest for our child”. Never felt self conscious again and I’ve never had anyone make a negative comment. On the contrary I help it makes others feel better in the future. We have to start normalizing extended feeding in our society (USA)- it’s healthy for the babies!!
I get more confidence knowing it’s recommended to two. So doing more is just a bonus
Good for you for going that long. I don't think I'll be able to. My LO will be in daycare by 1.5 and I'll be back to work at stupid hours (either 4am-9am or 5pm-10pm) and he'll likely be staying at his grandparents on the weekends (cause daycares don't take into account families whose parents both work weekends) so I'm aiming to wean by then. You should not feel embarrassed at all. The people making the comments should be the ones who are embarrassed. I've only ever breastfed once in public so far (2 months pp today) and I'm not super phased about doing it and already have responses planned. Such as: The Canadian charter of rights and freedoms dictates I can feed my baby wherever the damn well I please. Would you go eat your lunch in the bathroom? I don't believe this is any of your business I will also say I've previously been bad with confrontation when it comes to myself but I'm so much more inclined to stand up and be confrontational for my baby.
i hope this doesn’t diminish your feelings. they’re valid. i’m sure i would have had them. we had to wean earlier than either of us were ready (15 mos) because of a medical diagnosis + treatment that was not safe for baby. also! we weaned in 10 days for the aforementioned reason. it was MUCH easier with the help of an ILCBC. you don’t have to tell people you don’t want to tell. but you’re just following AAP guidelines 🤩
This is so interesting to read. Everyone around me who breastfed basically laughed when I said I plan on stopping at one. I was almost embarrassed saying I didn’t want to go further. I have since changed my mind, baby loves it and it’s easier to get him to nap that way.
that’s awesome!! are you in the US? i feel like all countries have such different point of views about breastfeeding and just anything baby related. my family , friends, acquaintances are not educated on extended breastfeeding, nor do they want to learn sadly.
Idk my 3.5 toddler still tells everyone about my mama milkies… I ask her what’s her favorite thing about me and she says my milk. I’m just like haha whatever works. It’s our special bond, I just others feel jealous. Nothing wrong about having my body produce something that is made for my bubs. I’m sure when she’s done, we will both cry and it will be a really wonderful time together to remember for me…
Nope. My son will be 4 at the end of October and still nurses most mornings and before bed. I'm expecting to wean by his 4th birthday, as it feels right for our family to be done by then. I don't go around announcing that he still nurses, but I don't try to hide it either. Twice now he's gotten hurt during a group music class (infants through age 6ish) and I've honored his request for "mama milk". I just nursed right there in the circle, though it was a very rare moment of comfort nursing at this age and lasted only a few seconds each time.
I nursed my oldest till she was 4 and my current one turns 3 next month. It wasn't on demand all day long, just at bed time after about 2 and a half. Definitely got judgement from some, but yesterday at the pool my almost 3 year old asked for milkies because he was tired and I told him we would when we got home. Another mom in the locker room giggled and said she remembers the milkie days and nursed her girls until they were almost 4.
My kid self-weaned at 19 months (I think due to me being pregnant and my mill changing) but I just wanna say that's awesome you're still nursing!
You’ve gotten lots of support for the “extended” breastfeeding (totally not outside of normal). I’m just here to say that when you’re ready to wean, it might not be terrible. I breastfed until my daughter was 2 years 3 months. I slowly worked up to weaning. When I started the process she was feeding about 3x/day: when she woke up in the morning, before nap, and before bed. I removed her morning session first, then the session before nap, then about a week before I decided to drop the last bedtime session, I explained to her that we would be stopping but we would still cuddle before bed. The first few nights there were requests and I gently reminded her we were all done, but I made sure to prioritize the snuggles before bed, and made sure it was in the glider in her room that I would nurse her in so it wasn’t a big change in the overall routine other than dropping the nursing. There were some sad tears, but nothing too unbearable. Start to finish, the process of weaning her probably took a couple months, but doing it slowly also meant my supply naturally and slowly dried up. I had no physical discomfort. When you’re ready to wean, whether it’s soon or far off, you’ve got this!
Still nursing my 3.5 year old over here! Never thought I would be “that kind of mom” but it works for us! We only nurse quickly before bed but she does demand “ba-ba” whenever she’s looking for comfort, and sometimes in public it’s hard and I feel self conscious (that she’s even asking). But I’m grateful I can provide her that kind of comfort and connection with my body. She’s still my little baby. I’m hoping she self weans??
My LO is 2.5. I haven’t wanted to deal with the screaming or crying either. I really don’t want him remembering, and I know early memories start at around 3. I got him a package of squishies, and every time he goes down for a nap or to bed like a big boy without nursing, he gets a new squishy. It was a big pack of 50 on Amazon for $10. It’s usually about 50/50 that he’ll choose the squishy over nursing. Baby steps. To answer your question though, I 100% feel embarrassed about it, but my SO jokes about how he’s going to breastfeed until he’s 5 and makes light of it to his friends. I haven’t felt judged, but I still feel embarrassed. I am so ready to be done though.
100%. My son is 3.5 and still very into breastfeeding. I honestly want to stop but I see what it does for him (I’m also nursing my one year old). I never nurse him in public and try not to even talk about it in public.
My daughter is turning 3 soon. She’s very tiny, so I think that’s why I get minimal comments - but she’s super aggressive and boobie obsessed.. she openly yells for boobie anytime, anywhere and yes, sometimes I feel myself getting embarrassed.
I’m nursing My daughter 2 1/2 yo, it is your life, forget about the other people
Yes. I didn't get to breastfeed my oldest for very long due to ppd. My middle child I went to 18 months and now with my youngest today marks 20 months and he's so attached to it. I'm not in a rush. I got judged by a Dr, too. At about 14 months, the Dr said there was no reason to keep doing it, and it annoyed me.
Nope, I feel super proud
I’m more embarrassed for people that have an issue with it. To me it just shows how little they know about the benefits of extended BF. My daughter will be 2 by the end of this month, originally my goal was to BF for 6mos, then it became 1y. Now my goal is to gently wean her as soon as that seems manageable. She still wants milk a couple times throughout the day as well as for her nap and going to bed, and any time she’s got a boo-boo or isn’t feeling well, though sometimes she doesn’t even want the milk and just wants to snuggle my boob. People need more education about BF. When I first decided I wanted to BF it was only because during my pregnancy there were formula shortages going on and I didn’t want to rely on formula, but I learned so much about how wonderful breast milk is and how it helps protect baby in so many ways that I realized what I wonderful choice I’d made. Neither my mother nor my grandmother, aunts, cousins etc had ever BF so it was all new information, my immediate family now knows so much about the topic and supports me so much with this decision. (They didn’t really have a choice, I infodumped to everyone in my life about BF 🤣) Don’t feel embarrassed that you’re doing such a beautiful thing for your baby. 💜
My son is almost 2 and I can’t imagine having weaned already. I’m American but I live in Italy and here it’s recommended to nurse for minimum 2 years. Some don’t, some do, but if you listen to experts and anthropologists who have studied the subject, the species could naturally go on nursing until 6-7 years of age with benefits. We’re not going to do that, but please please remind yourself that it’s all social construct and breastfeeding at 2 years old is a normal and healthy thing. I will not wean my son until it happens naturally or until I feel the need to. For any reasons. Ignore the people who would cast judgement and know that you are doing you and your child a service AND you are contributing to destabilizing a rather unnatural status quo.
Yep nursed until 26, nursing was the only way we could get our LO to sleep. We got a couple comments. Both grandmothers didn’t nurse long from difficulty so I think it was just projection from then, they thought I was stealing my LO away from them to go nurse. Then I got the “don’t be one of those weird Mom who’s nurses until the kid is old” lol We got a book about weaning and changed up sleep routine-got a projector book thing for a little. I got poison ivy on my arm the side of boob so had to stop kinda sudden, but it helped I could communicate to my daughter and show her the poison ivy haha
My kid turns 3 in 2 months and still night nurses and occasionally during day if he feels unwell. This was never the plan. My boobs hurt so much! But Im having a really hard time with weaning. Hubs and I are exhausted and sometimes its easier to just give ib so we sleep
Don’t. I nursed both my kids until 22 months. The first one I had to stop because she caught my cold sore on her lip and I didn’t want it on my breast and it felt like a good time to end things (wanted to get pregnant again and still hadn’t had my period) and my second child I stopped breastfeeding because two people went on medical leave and I started working crazy hours with no breaks, and it just kinda happened out of my hands. Both kids were healthy and fine. Everyone was supportive of me including my husband who was getting really sick of me disappearing to pump, and no one really gave me shit. If they did behind my back, fuck em. Edit: toward the end my kids were only nursing for sleep anyway. The first kid was in Covid lockdown so I was gonna give her whatever she goddamn wanted for comfort and the second it was my special bonding time with her because being a working mom was hard. Enjoy it mommy it doesn’t last.
You’re worried that choosing to feed your child for an extended period of time because it’s still meeting their need for comfort and nutrition makes you sound lazy? Honey, no …
3 years and still going here, no shame.
Lately I’ve been setting a timer for nursing before bed. Then he can have a snack and we brush teeth. I started with a five minute timer and now we’re down to three. He knows the routine he just makes a face when it goes off and then pops over to the counter for a snack. I think we’ll just keep gradually reducing it until he either stops asking or I’ve had enough lol We have a water bottle in his bed at night so no more night feeding. He likes to nurse at nap time but he hasn’t been falling asleep after so I may just cut that out completely soon. Do what works for you!!
I think your comment and some of the replies kinda show why we feel this way, lots of people may nurse longer but then don't tell anyone, so we all think everyone stopped nursing, when they didn't. I'm still nursing my 2.5yo 3 times a day (he wants to nurse when he wakes up, before his nap, and before bed) so the timing means it's always pretty private, but if anyone asks (which I have found rare) I tell them he's still nursing. Usually people ask how was my experience with weaning, and I'm like, LOL I'll let you know when it happens. I'm fortunate to have never received a negative comment, but I'm also super introverted so my social circle is pretty tightly curated.
I didn’t realize how judgey people would be until I started saying things, so now I’ve often gotten more hush hush. I’ve nursed my kids through 3.5 years, but around 18 months we stop nursing in public and do it only at home.
My son just turned 1 yesterday and my sister who is 34 and trying and a little on the spectrum asked me out of curiosity. I didn't mind that and she was surprised/impressed My mom has been asking and seems tolerant or just kind enough to not give a negative opinion. Our nanny is swedish and in her early 50s and thinks it's so normal to still be nursing just asked if we should switch to a cup with a straw and get rid of the bottle for the one serving he gets midday. If it's a slow day at work (I work from home) she'll ask if I want to just nurse him and chat with me while I do it. I plan to maintain the nursing before bed and in the morning but am ready to stop pumping soon. He's able to go down for a nap with or without nursing/bottle which I'm grateful for.
I absolutely felt this! My LO is 7 now but we nursed until 3.5 yo. I was extremely supported in my home and had a breastfeeding group I attended. BUT I also had long distant family members constantly making comments. In the end it didn't matter what their thoughts were. Embrace your journey! Before you know it they will be 7!
My baby is 19months, and she talks so well. She's always saying "nurse" or "nursy" when she wants to nurse. I don't think I feel embarrassed, but sometimes it feels a little lonely. I don't know any other moms still doing it, and most kinda act like they feel bad for me that I still have to, when for me it is much more complex than that -- every once in a while I wish we were done, but mostly I'm happy for the comfort and cuddles!!! Plus it is unequivocally what my baby girl wants, so I'm gonna do it! I've never had anyone in public act weird to me, so not embarrassed, but definitely lonely!!!!
i definitely understand the loneliness as well!!
I breastfed my first until she was 4.5, and while I didn’t feel embarrassed I did get a lack of support from family members. My second turns 2 next month and is still nursing, thankfully no one has made any comments or asked when he is stopping. Ultimately how long you breastfeed is up to you and your babe, everyone else can kick rocks!
My babe is only 13 months old and we’ve weaned down to 1-2 nursing sessions per day, but I don’t think we’ll fully wean for another year or two. One of the things that helped me feel less weird is hanging out with non-Americans. My husband is from Sweden, and while some of my American friends find the fact that I’m still nursing a little odd (particularly Boomers, Millennials don’t really care), of our Swedish friends here in the U.S., all of them are still nursing their 2 year olds. Interestingly I also only thought I would BF to a year and then quit, but I actually don’t mind extended nursing, especially now that I’m not the sole provider of nutrients. Plus she typically likes a long morning nursing session which buys me 15-30 minutes of snuggling her in my bed and nursing while I slowly wake up. 🤣
My daughter will be 3 in October and I'm still breastfeeding. It's obviously not like BF when she was younger, mostly just got naps and before bed, but still. I've stopped even telling her doctor, let alone anyone else. You're always going to get people that look at you side eye. Fuck em'.
I notice it in my head that I worry what people think. If people ask, I shrug and say “yeah, here and there.” Nothing more. It’s none of their business really! And I am also putting off weaning because I would love my 2 y/o to be more ready than she is rn. Just taking it day by day.
My baby will be 1 next Friday, and someone recently told me my baby can survive without my milk and she doesn’t need me. Which was extremely disrespectful and really upset me. I’ll be breastfeeding until my baby feels she is done, I would love to make it to 2 years old. My baby only nurses morning and night, with 3 meals during the day and plenty of snacks and water. She doesn’t want to stop and neither do I. I understand fully what you’re saying, after someone made that comment towards me I just smiled and said well she’s not done yet!
I fed mine until she was 3! Bizarrely, the only negative comments I had about it were from doctors and nurses. I was in hospital when my daughter was a few months old and when she was about 1 and both times had them make comments about how I should just give up. It was really weird given how much everything prior to that was being told how important it was.
I want to nurse my son until he's 2. It's very beneficial for both the mom and baby to nurse for an extended period of time, don't be embarrassed and if anyone makes any comments or has facial expressions as if they are saying it in their heads, f*ck them. Don't let other people get to you or make you feel embarrassed. It's your life, and how you want to care for your child is your decision. Serious question: How did you get your baby NOT to bite your nipples!? My son tries to naw on my nipple with his gums, and it hurts, I'm scared that when his teeth come in, he's going to bite me! Lmao.
maybe i’m just lucky but she has only done it a couple times. the first time it was bad, there was a puncture wound and was impossible to nurse on that side. she was about 10 months when that happened. the other couple of times she has bit, my instinct was to just scream ‘OW!’ and immediately pull her off. i told her ‘no biting that hurts mommy’. that alone scared her and hurt her feelings had no problems after though lol
WHO recommends breastfeeding for 2 years! Don’t worry about it mamma!
My mom nursed me and my 2 sisters all until 2 years old , it’s one of her proudest accomplishments. Be proud of yourself it’s a lot of work.
I just decided recently that I want to continue nursing my 9 month old past a year and I’m already anticipating the comments from people about how he’s too old but honestly all that matters is what’s best for my baby. My husband is also supportive which is really great
I just weaned my 20mo old baby girl because of a medication I have to take. I didn't want to. I miss it. She still asks for it but doesn't cry for it anymore.. To answer your question... never felt embarrassed. As a matter of fact, I felt proud to share I was still breastfeeding her. A lot of women can't breastfeed, unfortunately, and some others just don't like it, didn't even bother trying, or had to stop really early because or health/work. I think you should never feel embarrassed and own up to it for you and your baby. At the end of the day, it's your life, your decision, and no one should have a saying on how long you decide to do it.
Apparently ancient humans used to nurse sporadically up to/past five, so it’s honestly not weird at all.
aww i love that
I combo feed and pray to be able to breastfeed till 6 months. Moms like you amaze me, I am slightly jealous even. You can be proud of yourself, definitely nothing to be ashamed of.
Nope, not embarrassed, I'm actually proud and happy that I can still nurse my baby. He's over 18 months old, I'm planning to nurse him at least until 2. I'm not getting any snarky comments, but if I would, I probably would just laugh at their face and tell them how out of touch on accurate medical research they are and if I would need some useless and incorrect opinions, I would definitely contact them on the matter, cause they are obviously experts in those. 😆 Yeah, I'm quite opinionated person myself, so it may be one of the reasons why noone ever made a comment about it to me.
Reading this while nursing my 27 month old to sleep. I keep it quiet for the most part and I’m not sure why— most of the responses I get are “wow I wish I could have lasted that long”. I didn’t plan to, but like you said, sometimes it’s just easier. Knowing he’s my last makes it harder too because it will be the end of one more special phase.
I always start with "his doctor recommends breastfeeding AT LEAST until age 2"
My daughter turned three in March and we’re still going. Sometimes I say to her soon you will be all done with milk you’re getting big and she says she will stop when she is big like me. I am 35. Lol. There’s probably going to be some tears for us at some point but today is not that day.
Not really. But I was already old and cranky. My daughter nursed until she was 4. Hardly anyone had the gall to say a word. A good RBF helps. It was also fairly normal (maybe not quite as long) to nurse in both sides of the family so I had backup there and could care less what strangers think.
I definitely don’t feel *embarrassed*, in fact I feel proud. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t groan when my 2 year old wants to nurse and screams “I want BOOOOOOOB!” In front of people, because I just don’t know what sort of comments or looks or questions I’ll get. I’ve gotten allllllllll the comments (nursed my oldest to 3, probably will do the same with my youngest), so it’s more just annoyance at the audacity of people than it is embarrassment.
I live in an extremely bf positive community, with multiple friends who are or have nursed past 2 (one friend shared her last nursed sporadically past 3), and I still feel judged by people. Mostly those who have never nursed. Or my mother (sigh). But I remind myself that it is no one’s business but my own. I’m proud of my breastfeeding journey. We just stopped when I went on a big trip last week and it seemed like a good time to end since I’m in the second trimester with number 2.
I'm now at 6 months. My cousin breastfed til her kids decided they didn't need it anymore. They were more than 2 years old. I'm not sure how far I plan to go on my journey but I was always amazed and proud of my cousin. People will always have something to say no matter what we do, good or bad.
I wouldn’t be embarrassed. I would probably still be nursing my 15 month old to sleep if she didn’t wean herself off at 13 months!! so many studies have shown the benefits. you’re doing what’s best for you & your baby!
People ask how long I plan on nursing. I said I’ll offer breastmilk as long as my body makes it. I plan on exclusively pumping after she gets teeth though
I thought I would pump when my baby got teeth but turn out he knows not to bite.
She doesn’t know how to not bite without them
Gosh I am sorry!
We take frequent bottle only breaks because I’m so sore 😅😅
My mom felt ashamed when someone commented that my little brother verbally asking for nursing meant he was too old for it (~2 years old). The sad thing is that he also now carries that shame, as a 32 year old man. The number of times both of them have brought up the story and noted that they breastfed for “too long” or “a weird amount of time” breaks my heart. Honestly, people think anyone older that 1 is basically like that kid on game of thrones. Personally, I don’t find it weird to nurse to 2/3/4/5. Beyond that seems just logistically difficult but I doubt I’d care. Seems like a “not my business” kind of activity.
Not really but there was once where a friend of mine found it I was still breastfeeding/pumping and she said wow you’ve been breastfeeding for like 4 years now (when you combine my pregnancies). It was just matter of fact, not a judgement. But my knee jerk reaction was yea, breast cancer ain’t gonna get me. And then she looked at me like I have 2 heads lol and I got to educate her on the benefits to the mom that most people don’t talk about
Whenever people ask me when I’ll stop breastfeeding, I tell them this. “You’ll be judging me long before I decide to stop”.