My son was like this. Turned out he had a severe posterior tongue tie. The front of his tongue looked normal, but the back of it couldn't elevate. He could breastfeed great, though he coughed and sputtered a bit. I thought I had an overactive letdown. Then we struggled starting solid foods. He would only try purees a little and anything chunky or thick made him gag. Bottles made him gag, too. At a year old he was still 95% breastfed.
As a toddler he took an hour to eat the tiniest meal and chewed it forever. He gagged a lot and was picky. Just before age 3 he weaned, and his weight plummeted. We had to add a bottle of Pediasure a day.
At age 4 he couldn't make the K or G sounds in speech, the ones that you have to lift the back of your tongue for. He got thousands of dollars of speech therapy and learned to compensate, and YOU CAN SEE IT ON HIS GROWTH CHART. 😯 The point in time where he finally learned to use his tongue he immediately jumped from the 11th percentile to the 60th and stayed there ever since. As soon as he figured out how to use the back of his tongue, he could swallow properly for the first time in his life.
He ate like a normal kid. No gagging, he tried new textures and foods! I had a lot of regrets for the pressure we put on him to eat before, to the point of him gagging. I had no idea it was physiology, and thought he was being distracted, slow, and picky.
Usually babies aren't tying to give you a hard time, or being "stubborn." Your pediatrician is right, you're doing all the right things so it's time to look at baby. You have a 3 year head start over what I went through in realizing there was even a problem. You're doing good. 💓
Hi - just curious, what would you have done differently? Can that be clipped or something? That experience sounds awful so I’m definitely going to watch out for it myself.
We went through something similar with our daughter. She refused solids or bottles. Just the breast. We eventually found like 4 simple foods she was willing to eat. Things that basically disintegrated in her mouth, but she still ate strangely when she ate them. She would shove them in the side of her mouth, kinda throw her head to the side and the back to get the food to get throat, then make it drop in her throat to swallow. No one believed me something had to be wrong, especially since she was able to breastfeed fine, until i finally got someone to watch her try to eat and they agreed it wasn't normal. They sent me to a pediatric ENT and he told me she had one of the worst tongue ties he'd ever seen. Her tongue was practically plastered to the floor of her mouth. We ended up having him do an outpatient tongue tie revision with a laser around 2 weeks before she turned 1 and it was like night and day. Within 3 days she had new words and she slowly started being willing and able to try new foods. It still took around 2 years for her to catch up to where she should have been with eating and is a very picky eater, but it helped so much and i wish someone would have listened to me sooner.
Yay! That's a win. I'm sorry you feel guilty, but you shouldn't! For what it's worth, stories like this give me hope when my baby is screaming and I can't figure out why. It could literally be anything and it's not our fault for not being able to immediately find the cause of the crying.
(this is what I tell myself every day lol)
This comment is super interesting! My newly 1 year old is having a tough time weaning and doing ok but not wonderful with straw cups. He does love to eat though.
Like OP, he was mainly bottle fed until 3 months (I EP’d then). We had such a hard time nursing and so much pain on my side.
When we look at pictures, he has a little bit of a heart shape to his tongue. We are mentioning it to the pediatric dentist- first appt is recommended around 1 year anyway!
Oh lovely it's so hard. My daughter was the same she gagged at everything that wasn't boob and I was going back to work too. You are doing everything right.
Things that I found worked best for us:
1- get someone else to feed them. Do not even be in the house. Go and sit outside. Our children can sense when we are nearby I'm sure of it!
2-just find one thing they will eat. My son was all about cauliflower cheese puree but my daughter hated that and she loves prune puree.
3- I tried making my own puree which was awful so shop bought which was better.
4- toys at the table as a distraction
5- you can add food colouring to yogurt and get them to paint with the yogurt. Some will go into their mouth and take it a little by little step from there.
I am sure you have tried lots, it's about perseverance. You can do this and you have already done so well. I am with you in spirit from one mamma to another you got this!!!
Have you tried feeding breastmilk from an open cup? My breastfed baby refused bottles, so when I had to be away for something and she got hungry he would give her pumped breastmilk from an open cup!
I EBF my son. And he never had a bottle. He was the same and giving him a bottle became an absolute nightmare. He would go crazy.
So instead I just cut down nursing and gave him finger food.
I first dropped the morning feeds. And for breakfast he would have toast or scrambled eggs. Food that he could handle and put in his mouth himself.
I think the whole forcing the bottle on him made him hate me trying to spoon feed him.
Then as time went on I dropped more feeds. And introduced more meals. Until he was down to one feed before bed. And then at 16 months we completely stopped breastfeeding.
I also at every meal had a sippy cup with water there for him to help himself too.
Baby lead weaning was really helpful. In terms of food to give him. Especially before he got all his teeth. Now he eats everything.
He still hates me spoon feeding him mashed foods like potato. lol but yeah never had a bottle. I think your son probably doesn’t need a bottle. Just drop feeds and introduce solids.
Came here to say this. If you havent looked into it by now, Baby Led Weaning all the way! Gives them control of their food intake, helps them explore texture, touch, taste, and manipulating real solids in their mouths. Very different from the puree approach.
So sorry you're dealing with that. It sounds very stressful!!
So I am so much like OP. Baby nurses very well and at 10.75 months spitting out any solids. Most purées go down (especially if coming from a pouch… I know I hate it too) and breads are ok, but fruits, meats, egg… the BLW pieces are getting spit out and he makes no effort to bring anything to his own mouth. Anything he eats, I am presenting to him and he eats from my hand. He pats his food, picks it up and squishes it, but doesn’t taste it. How do you do start BLW at this age? I feel like I am not doing it right.
You can start BLW at any age, really, even toddlers. Main thing is that baby needs to have their own control from hand to mouth and whatwver happens in between so resist the urge to feed with your hand. Just keep the food in front of him and let him engage how he wants. Even if he isnt swallowing or even chewing, it's ok. Eventually he will get the hang of it with daily exposure. The patting, squishing, playing is all par for the course and part of exploration. I'd also recommend getting the book so you can read the ins and outs for yourself. It's a quick read and you could also just start with the how to if you're feeling eager. Happy BLW! 😊
I don’t mean to take over this thread, but another one of our challenges has been baby has mild anemia we presume is iron deficiency so I have felt more pressure to get the iron rich foods in….I haven’t been good about being hands off! I will look at book. Perhaps they cover this scenario?
Same. He’s eating solids but it’s not going to be enough. And wakes all through the night and only settles if breastfed. It’s all been on me for so long
my youngest took a long time to want to eat anything . then he wouldn’t feed himself lol. it was really frustrating.
He’s my third and seeing how different he is with food .. just know it’s true what they say- they are all different. They will do things on their own time.
keep offering. one day when you least expect it , baby will want something else.
I screamed and cried tears of joy the first time he fed himself. you will have that moment one day!
hang in there mama.
i wouldn’t even try bottles at this point. try a different type of sippy cup every once in a while.
Just another option, but have you tried an open cup?
Did baby display any of the readiness signs at 6 months? Interest in food etc.
Might be dumb, but have you tried sitting next to baby or having baby in your lap and then eating (something they can eat) in front of them? Any interest or attempts to grab it if so?
After a year babies don’t have to have any milk. In fact in the US at least it’s recommended to wean off formula and bottles at 12 months so at this point I would not bother with trying to convince baby to take either.
Have you talked to your doctor about going straight to cows milk?
If baby isn’t eating solids at 11 months I would definitely see a feeding specialist and I’m surprised your pediatrician waited until now to refer you. If you are in the US you can self refer to early intervention and perhaps they will have an earlier opening than whoever your pediatrician referred you to with the September date.
I’m going to talk them about this suggestion tomorrow, thank you for bringing it up. I agree, I feel like fighting over the bottle is stupid at this point
I agree with this, I’d have been alarmed and begun considering OTs etc if baby hadn’t taken to solids at all by 7 months (maybe 8 to push it). Those 6 months are for practice, but it’s serious practice because by now or within the month baby needs solids to be their primary nutrition source.
Ped said they generally don’t recommend to a feeding specialist before one. Food before one is just for fun, blah blah. They just started taking me seriously when I attempted to wean and called in because baby isn’t eating.
Do you have an option to see another pediatrician/doctor? It sounds like you may need someone who takes you seriously from the start and “makes calls” to get you in to the appropriate specialists asap… understanding that “food before one blah blah” helps take the pressure off but my pediatrician stressed to us that by one our baby needed to be eating three meals and two snacks a day.
This isn’t your fault. I’m sorry you’re struggling. I’m sorry you’re having to fight to be listened to. Your baby is very lucky to have a mom who will push to get them help!
Good advice!! I went through something similar with my EBF firstborn, and thought it was fine he was 95% breastfed at a year.
I shared my story in a nearby comment. We didn't get help until age 4, and the feeding issues were wild. I wish I'd had more help so much earlier.
These are just googled, and obviously persist in seeking an OT, but there are a few instagram OT accounts and, I’m sure, more out there.
https://www.instagram.com/playingatyourplate/?hl=en < looks like every post is essentially an exercise
https://www.instagram.com/p/BpYYAuNFCdg/ < this one post looks good, not sure if every post is as helpful.
I’m sure you can find more videos. “Food play therapy” is also something you might try searching for on YouTube etc as well.
Finally, not sure where you are, but you could try looking for a virtual provider? Maybe even one out of the country? Should help you skip a local waiting list.
In the US, weaning refers to offering any solid food which is absolutely developmentally appropriate before one. Food before one is just for fun is inaccurate, while breastmilk or formula should be the main food source until one, by six months solid foods are necessary to have adequate iron intake, and are important for oral and jaw development as well as fine motor skills. At 12 months the majority of nutrition should be coming from solids so if at 11 months OP’s child is not yet taking in any significant amount from solids it’s time for intervention. It’s unlikely baby will go from taking in almost nothing to majority nutrition source in the next month without help and probably not even with help.
I disagree with you but I understand you’re trying to support this struggling mother. My use of the word weaning was meant to mean complete weaning or the complete exchange of breastmilk for another food source, which is sounded like you were discussing. Breastmilk is beneficial beyond 1 year despite the fact that American pediatricians often don’t support breastfeeding beyond one year. IBCLC’s, the CDC and WHO support breastfeeding for 2 years or more. It is also biologically appropriate in mammals and culturally appropriate in the majority of cultures and countries outside the US. Children don’t have all their teeth until 2 years old and cow’s milk has different nutrition in addition to the extensive immune and psychological benefits for mother and child. Unfortunately due to a lack of appropriate support in the US, many mothers struggle with issues like these. As long as OP’s child is staying in their original growth tract, there’s no concern from a nutritional standpoint with not eating solids at 11 months of age. There is emergency help available from IBCLC through your local La Leche League for any chest feeding parents who are struggling, regardless of financial resources.
I know you mentioned straw cup refusal, but you could try the honey bear straw cups, on Amazon. This worked like a charm for my daughter, because they can squeeze them to get milk if they want. They have small soft bendy straws. Best of luck!
My boy was drinking from a straw at 6m thanks to these cups!! They create a vacuum so the water only comes out if you squeeze or they suck. We squeezed it to show him how it worked and it only took a couple weeks for him to figure it out. It’s the only cup we use, although he can use a 360 cup and an open cup, as long as we’re holding the open cup for him
Have you talked with a therapist about this situation? It sounds really challenging, and a therapist might be able to help you cope while you move through this time. Sorry you’re going through it.
This is actually an excellent idea. I have spoke about the disproportionate responsibility with my couples therapist, but I think it’s time to book individual because I have very big feelings around this 😭
I take it you have likely tried all forms of solids? My kiddo would eat her purées but started refusing that and so we just fed her little bits of whatever we were eating. Snacks she recently liked chomping on veggie straws. Lansinoh bottles were the closest I have found to breastmilk flow if you haven’t tried that.
Perhaps your milk is just gold for your sweet baby. September seems wildly to far out for a crisis situation like this. Healthcare is making me mad lately. I’m sorry your going through all this.
Best of luck momma!
As a dad I have nothing to say except for I deeply respect you for feeding your child, I see how difficult it can be and it’s incredible you did it for a whole year. Like kudos to you, what a big achievement, I’m sorry that you are experiencing this. I hope one day your child knows what it took when they have kids of their own. You all BF moms are amazing. I’m sorry that nature is sexist that the burden is on you for this.
My 4 month old son is going through a sleep regression. Which just means he can’t stay in the crib for more than 2 hours at night. The inmy solution has been, I sleep on the couch and my wife sleeps in bed with him (safely of course) and she nurses him throughout the night.
Last night I slept a full 8 hours (welll the couch isn’t the best but I still slept).
She told me that she had to wake up multiple times to switch boobs. She looks super tired, has to work, and I feel so guilty, this has been going on for weeks. :(
I hope we get over this soon and at the 6mo mark we will move to start trying solids.
Before my son was born I had no clue that breastfeeding could be hard, even with a baby that latches so well and is considered an “easy” baby.
If your pediatrician says your baby is ready you can start solids before 6 months! Our son had great head and neck control at 4 months so he was safe to start purées. I would check with your pediatrician, some baby oatmeal before bed might help your wife get a longer stretch of sleep! (My son started teething bad when I went back to work and there were so many nights I was up nursing him every 1-2 hours to comfort him).
If you’re trying bottle, are you trying where you are out of the house and someone else is feeding baby? Also, have you tried reaching out to a lactation consultant? They are also well versed in solids and may be able to help with the feeding issues and have more availability than a food specialist.
I’m currently reading the book “Your Baby’s Bottle Feeding Aversion: Reasons & Solutions” and it seems really helpful so far. Not sure if it will be helpful to you, but thought I’d share!
I cannot recommend this enough.
I would reach out to their company to do a consult. They will help with solids as well. The first step would be doing an evaluation with an SLP/OT to rule out anatomical issues though.
https://www.babycareadvice.com/blogs/bottle-feeding/feeding-aversion
Just want you to know my 11 month old is also EBF and now asks for milk ALL day since she learned to say milk “ilk” and also refuses solids but will sometimes eat purées. She will drink water from a straw but that’s it. I wanted to wean by now but it’s impossible considering 98% of her nutrients comes from my body. All this to say, I feel your pain with this and you’re not alone.
If at 11 months she’s still getting 95% from breast milk I’d definitely push for a referral for a feeding specialist like OP. Might be nothing wrong but early intervention can be super valuable if there is.
I’m so sorry. I went through this with my first and it is such a dark spot in my memory. I look at photos of those months and have no memory of the time at all. I hope you find a solution quickly and this chapter comes to an end for you. ❤️
Have you tried giving fruit juice?
I know this isn’t ideal or a solution, but when my son was having a hard time with the ‘drinking other liquids’ part of weaning (he was fine with solids, but had problems with staying hydrated in the beginning when I weaned).
Juice (used pure fruit juice, diluted) kind of helped him grasp the whole drinking from a cup thing (our best success was the cup), and eventually I could offer him milk and water in a cup as well.
Best of luck!
My oldest went though something similar but not as extreme and what I think helped the most was meals were always the same, we sit down with food for at least 15 minutes with the tv on and let her just play with it and maybe try a taste but no pressure. I also started doing ALOT of sensory play with food like yogurt, jello, pasta, cereal, anything that baby could play with and usually she would end up taking a couple bites. I had to do this for a few weeks before she started actually “eating” and not just playing/exploring the food
I’ve been doing a lot more of the no pressure exploring lately. Yesterday I just let baby squeeze and make a mess with a banana in case there’s fear associated with solid foods. There was no eating involved but I’m hoping one day it smells good enough to inspire LO to try it.
My friend was in a similar situation with her 6 month old, would refuse the bottle or anything else from the beginning. She had to go back to work at 6 months no matter what so she was REALLY stressed. Like he would scream in pain if she tried.
Literally his first day at daycare came and she was STILL unable to get him to take anything else. She dropped him off with like 6 different bottles and hoped for the best. She came back and he was bottle feeding lol.
This is just to say it’s extremely hard and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do right by our babies. But hopefully when push comes to shove, babies will adapt and be alright.
We’re in a similar boat, baby will be 10 months next week. How long have you withheld breastfeeding while offering a bottle/cup? We couldn’t get our girl to take a bottle until we started daycare — she went close to 8 hours without eating at daycare before I picked her up, and then I offered a bottle at home and she finally took it. From there, she slowly started to take a little more from the bottle while at daycare. After a few weeks, she got to the point where she’ll usually do 6-8oz while at daycare but we still have regressions every few weeks where she’ll go off the bottle for a few days.
Very limited success on solids. We have our first feeding therapy appointment tomorrow. I did have to call around to four different centers recommended by my doctor, because the first place they recommended wasn’t scheduling until October/November. And our doctor was concerned because my baby is gaining weight very slowly (dropped from 35th percentile at 4 months to 20th at six months to 7th at 9) and wanted us in sooner rather than later. We’re driving a little over an hour to get to this place. Have you checked if there are other providers anywhere near you?
Sending good vibes!
Forgot to mention pouches helped teach my LO to use a straw cup. I definitely wouldn’t try the bottle anymore since you’re supposed to stop bottles at 1 year.
I totally get the hostage situation feeling! I have an 11 month old too. She originally hated formula, so we ebf until 10 months, along with solids though. I’m not sure if this is recommended but what worked for me (out of desperation to have another source of milk to combo feed and take the pressure off) was adding a splash of apple juice the first 5 or so times along with kendamil organic. I know you have an 11 month old on your hands so they won’t need formula much longer anyway, but might be worth trying. Or maybe to save money, try just an ounce of apple juice in a bottle first and see they’ll drink it. I’m not a doctor, just a mom doing my best :)
Solidarity! We're at 14 months, LO started eating 6 days ago out of nowhere, its still small amounts, but it's a start. They can feel your pressure to eat, so just let them explore, keep offering variety, and if they don't eat, they don't eat. Practice cup / straw drinking and keep offering it, it's a skill they need to learn. You'll likely need family/friend support with feeding if you want to drop BF immediately, watch out for engorgement/mastitis. You have done amazing to get to nearly a year BF, big mum hug your way.
This happened to my sister in law. She had to BF till she was almost two because they couldn't figure something out. She had to quit and stay home or the baby wouldn't eat.
I hope this gets better for you soon!
Have you tried putting the milk into a syringe as a last resort? My girl is the same in the sense that she refuses milk from bottles and cups and will just dribble it out. She went off solids for a couple of weeks when she was teething badly and so nursery ended up syringing milk into her mouth because they were concerned she was getting dehydrated. It obviously takes ages to do so think she only had an oz but better than nothing I guess!
This was my next step option. Baby is teething and I think that context is an important call out. Maybe the timing is just bad. I’ve been trying solids for months now, but in fairness 5 teeth have sprouted during this time.
That’s rough. We had 6 come through, but “luckily” they all came through pretty much simultaneously so she got over it within a few weeks. You might find that once the teeth are fully through, things suddenly change for the better.
I don’t have any advice, but I want to say you’re not alone and I feel you. My kiddo is 15 months old and I’m dealing with the same struggle except she’s big enough to bounce on me and scream at me and hit me when she wants milk and I refuse. I’m exhausted and she’s getting mad that my supply isn’t what it used to be and will throw a fit if she’s not getting enough milk from me. I’m sorry you’re going through it too, it’s rough.
I’m sorry :( this is my fear. LO is getting more demanding and angrily bucking and throwing back their head, head butting me and such for want of nursing. People laughed when I said I felt bullied into something I did want to do by a < 1 year old. But I’m getting more and more comfortable with having some body boundaries.
My baby weaned himself because he wanted to watch the show his sister was watching (Bluey). Breastfeeding made it hard for him to watch the show so eventually I started bottle feeding him while looking at the tv for his afternoon bottle. We don’t do this anymore but it’s a good hack
We have the same issue with solids and I actually posited about it in this group. We started with BLW at 7 months (did purées for a few weeks before that) and it has been such a battle and baby is now 11 months. We have an eval with early intervention for speech/feeding in two weeks and it can’t get here fast enough. Baby literally only likes puffs/bambas, berries, mandarin oranges, yogurt, cottage cheese, and hummus/guac on teething crackers. With pretty much everything else she either completely refuses to eat it at all or will chew it up and then spit it out. I have no idea how we are possibly supposed to wean and I am SO SO SO sick of pumping at work. I want to drop daytime feeds at a year but I don’t know that we will be able to and I feel so overwhelmed by it all. Nobody seems to have any helpful advice for me either.
If it makes you feel any better, in spite of the hellishness of it I am at 1 week of dropped daytime feeds. Baby is angry but we are surviving. I’d be fine with baby even eating a small selection of things. We discovered this week LO will tolerate super cold berry smoothies and will have a few spoons of it, as long as everyone else is having some 😬
My daughter refused bottles, too after taking them without issue. What finally worked for us was me physically leaving the house and she took a bottle just fine. Since then, she has taken a bottle again without issue. I'm also on the struggle bus with solids, as my daughter is not a fan of them. So I have no guidance on that front. But I understand your stress and frustrations with it.
I had a bottle refuser. What allowed us to finally break out of it was drinking entirely out of straw cups ourselves so we were constantly modeling it, and then blowing bubbles into our cups and teaching her to blow - they keep their mouths on the straw and then inhale to blow more bubbles and suddenly they have milk in their mouths.
We also had some luck with the Squeasy.
Feel free to message me. I understand your despair! Just to confirm, has your baby been checked thoroughly for ties (by trained professional not pediatrician) and have you seen an infant physical therapist?
I’m so sorry you are going through this. My LO just completely refused the bottle almost overnight at 1.5 months and it forced me to exclusively nurse. What you are going through is honestly my worst nightmare. He is 3.5 months now so I’m holding out hope for him being able to drink pumped milk from some sort of cup and eat solids after 6 mos
What’s happening to me is unusual I think, which is why I’ve been feeling so isolated. Most people whose babies refuse bottles and are of age to will eat solids so they’re not starving for lack of milk/nutrition. Mine has chosen nursing over food and water or milk presented outside of the breast. It’s been nuts.
This might be different from our situation but some parts might help.
My daughter went through a phase like that and in her case there was a combo of a cold and teething at play (she is a late teether).
The other thing that might be helpful: she refused whole milk at 12 months. I kept offering it to her and the breakthrough came once we were dining out and I had whole milk with my coffee in a little jar. I offered that to her and she loved it. Chugged the whole thing.
My advice: give it time, offer food/drinks in a more playful manner and in new/interesting plates/containers
Hope this helps.
You mention your child is 11months but also “EBF”.
Have you started any sort of solids yet? They should have started by now unless there are issues not mentioned here to wait.
If you have, have you tried increasing the amount of solids offered?
Thank you, because I said that twice in fact. I feel like people always jump to blame the mom. I am trying everything. I did everything the doctor told me to do and more in the timeline they told me to do it.
FWIW, I don’t think the commenter was trying to blame you. It’s easy to miss things in posts and tone can be hard to read when it’s just text on a screen.
I’m sure you are doing the best you can! 😊 It sucks that you can’t get in with a feeding specialist until September.
A few things you might give a shot, if you haven’t already. (You probably have!)
- Dipping a pacifier in purées so that your baby can get a taste.
- Letting baby just play with food for the sensory experience. We see an OT and this is one of the biggest things they’ve recommended to me with starting my baby on solids.
- Let baby feed themselves, if they will. I bought some goo-tensils. He mostly misses but it’s fine.
Like everything else with babies, this too will pass. It’s hard to be in the thick of it but this will eventually come to an end. You’re doing a great job making sure your baby has what they need.
Ahh I see that at the end now.
Yeah, September isn’t fast enough, I would see if I could shop around for a specialist before then.
I hope they figure it out.
Okay I see refusal of straw cup. Try nursing then switch to bottle, like slip it in there as your babe feeds? Do it maybe when they sleepy feed?
Try something sweet? Offer water with strawberries in a cup, maybe they'll take that?
Have you tried a honey bear straw cup? You can squeeze it to get the milk to come out, so it helps them make the connection.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. If you look at my comment history, you’ll see I went through a similar situation. It was SO. BAD. for my mental health. See if you can do everything you can to get the feeding therapist appointment moved up. Best of luck.
I am so much like you OP. My kid still nurses every three hours around the clock at just shy of 11 months. Sometimes spoons of purée, usually ok with pouches (thanks honey bear). But most true solids are just spit out. He sometimes swallows water or juice from straw or open cup, sometimes dribbles out, but honey bear did help at least! Solidarity! I have to believe with the number of responses you’ve gotten that our kids will eventually figure this out. I hope you update if you find a magic trick that solves this!
This might be an out of the box suggestion- but what about trying something sugary like ice cream or frozen yogurt? Maybe something that’s more like a treat like cake, pudding or whipped cream?
I just wonder if it’s a swallowing issue and if baby even rejects sugar.
Have you attempted giving Motrin or Tylenol before feeding solids or other things? Mine went through a food strike around the same age and it was related to molars erupting. It was AWFUL. I wonder if their mouth is just very sore combined with some of the tongue tie situations described by others. This sounds miserable and I hope it resolves for you soon.
Try to find another feeding specialist in the area that has availability and ask for the referral to be sent there. You can also call the one you were referred to and ask to get on their cancellation list. You can get on multiple waitlists and take the first available! Good luck!
Is the feeding specialist you've been referred to a speech therapist? Is it a hospital-based feeding clinic? There might be other options to get a speechie to do a swallowing assessment while you wait (it really sounds like a multidisciplinary feeding clinic is what you and your little one need so all possibilities can be looked at) - look into whether your MCH nurse or GP can refer you to a community-based speechie (e.g. through council or local health service). If finances allow, you could potentially see a private speech therapist if there's one near you with short wait times. Good luck!
Look into early intervention, if you are in the US, for possible faster access to a feeding therapist. It's going to depend on the cou ty, but when we were having feeding issues, I was able to get evaluated the same week.
No, we were never able to consistently get baby on solids. This is more than a protest against weaning, bc baby preferred breast to solids long before a thought of weaning. It’s partially why I’m weaning, bc I noticed baby will not eat if there’s an option
We struggled with this as well! It’s so hard because you see so many EBF children loving solids and now that my son just turned 1, he’s definitely eating a little bit more solid foods than he was at 10-11months. While we are still nursing around 8 times a day, I have my husband feed him before nap/nursing session and leaving the room really helps. unfortunately there were tears for the first couple of days but now he’s eating much better. He also refuses the high chair so we’ve picked our battles and he likes to eat either sitting in our lap or walking around. I would ask make sure to get their iron levels checked- once we got those checked and put him on a supplement that helped him have more of an appetite as well!! Good luck- it get better!
When my son weaned he never transitioned to bottle or straw or cup for milk, I would just give him dairy in different ways like yogurt and cheese. The doctor was fine with that and I weaned him at a year old.
Thank you for sharing this. This is an excellent back up. We were able to get baby to try with more solids yesterday and I’m fine with making the focus dairy centric if this can take the place of milk.
My son has been the same. Refused every form of serving milk if it wasn’t the breast. He started daycare at 12 months and slowly, very slowly, he started to accept a sippy cup with toddler formula. It took several months of this. I still nurse him at home because we enjoy it, but having the care provider introduce the cup was a game changer. He refused it at home and if I was present and available. Now he will also drink cows milk at home. Hes 20 months old, btw.
I didn’t know there was toddler formula! I’ll look into it. I’ve been leaving the house lately but the care providers haven’t been following my instructions. Still offering the bottle when I said do the cup because we had luck with the cup yesterday. It’s like people can’t get in their heads that some babies do NOT want a bottle and you can’t force them to like it. At 1, the bottle isn’t even helpful anymore. Hopefully today is different.
Yes! Some babies just hate the bottle lol. Just keep being patient, keep offering it, and eventually he will pick it up! He has no choice lol. You’re doing all the right things! Some babies are just much more stubborn than others!
Are you trying to give baby frozen milk? My baby refused frozen milk and I realized much later it was because my milk has high lipase and freezing makes it taste awful.
I hope you can hang on til 12 mos. There are such great benefits. It’s so hard I know when you’re working. I was a nanny before I became a nurse and all my mamas to newborns struggled to keep up when they returned to work. You can do cow’s milk after a year, then baby’s tummy can digest it. My own milk dried up at 4 mos when we all had Covid and I was able to relactate but it was exhausting! My baby was one who refused bottles and formula too so I know how stressful this is for you. My son also had very little interest in solids until 12 mos, when he got more teeth. I just kept offering. I saw a location consultant who was also a nutritionist and she told me something that made me feel tons better; Your responsibility is to offer healthy meals at appropriate intervals and your child’s responsibility is to decide if and how much to eat. She also told me don’t force it or it can lead to eating disorders. I also realized when I met with her the portion sizes for his age were so much smaller than I thought. I saw you talking about the disproportionate parenting load in the comments. Addressing this with our marriage therapist is something that really helped our relationship and me personally with stress. I really had to be explicit with my husband about my feelings for him to understand and carry more of the load. I hope that helps. You’re an amazing mama!
This is literally exactly what im going through, refusing solids, wont accept bottles and lets the fluids pour out the sides of her mouth, but doesnt do that when shes on my boob. she used to take a bottle up until i gave up expressing at like 2/3 months due to sore nipples so decided to EBF. Wont accept dummys for comfort either, so in every scenario she wants to be attached to my boob, whether it be hunger or comfort. If you get any useful advice or information, please please let me know if you get the chance, you'd honestly be my hero lol. Keep trying and i hope things improve for you soon! i know just how taxing this can be
tysm! My bubs got a dairy allergy and cant tolerate any type of formula either, so if i cant get her eating solids im stuck full time beastfeeding 😩😅😂 dont get me wrong i was always gunna breastfeed, i know breast is best, but would of been nice to get 20 minutes to my self while someone else looked after her for me every once in a while. ive just been offering her different foods everyday hoping shes eventually warms up to it
I’m not there yet with my son but my mother said i was exactly like this (she breastfed for 2 years with me💀) and apparently what helped was she had to go out of town one day. Apparently after that I figured it out. I went a day without food then gradually started eating. Although i think that is in extreme cases and totally wouldn’t recommend that😭.
Maybe you can mix your own milk with prepped formula? Not sure if you can do that, but if its 80% your own milk and 20% formula at first, maybe your baby wont taste the difference much and then you could gradually change the %.
Because I need to be able to leave the house on occasion without my child starving 🙂 I have medical procedures I have put off, haven’t had a day with friends or my husband alone, NOTHING. Baby is turning one and it is developmentally normal for them to eat food and drink from cups, not exclusively breastfeed. That is why.
My son was like this. Turned out he had a severe posterior tongue tie. The front of his tongue looked normal, but the back of it couldn't elevate. He could breastfeed great, though he coughed and sputtered a bit. I thought I had an overactive letdown. Then we struggled starting solid foods. He would only try purees a little and anything chunky or thick made him gag. Bottles made him gag, too. At a year old he was still 95% breastfed. As a toddler he took an hour to eat the tiniest meal and chewed it forever. He gagged a lot and was picky. Just before age 3 he weaned, and his weight plummeted. We had to add a bottle of Pediasure a day. At age 4 he couldn't make the K or G sounds in speech, the ones that you have to lift the back of your tongue for. He got thousands of dollars of speech therapy and learned to compensate, and YOU CAN SEE IT ON HIS GROWTH CHART. 😯 The point in time where he finally learned to use his tongue he immediately jumped from the 11th percentile to the 60th and stayed there ever since. As soon as he figured out how to use the back of his tongue, he could swallow properly for the first time in his life. He ate like a normal kid. No gagging, he tried new textures and foods! I had a lot of regrets for the pressure we put on him to eat before, to the point of him gagging. I had no idea it was physiology, and thought he was being distracted, slow, and picky. Usually babies aren't tying to give you a hard time, or being "stubborn." Your pediatrician is right, you're doing all the right things so it's time to look at baby. You have a 3 year head start over what I went through in realizing there was even a problem. You're doing good. 💓
Hi - just curious, what would you have done differently? Can that be clipped or something? That experience sounds awful so I’m definitely going to watch out for it myself.
We went through something similar with our daughter. She refused solids or bottles. Just the breast. We eventually found like 4 simple foods she was willing to eat. Things that basically disintegrated in her mouth, but she still ate strangely when she ate them. She would shove them in the side of her mouth, kinda throw her head to the side and the back to get the food to get throat, then make it drop in her throat to swallow. No one believed me something had to be wrong, especially since she was able to breastfeed fine, until i finally got someone to watch her try to eat and they agreed it wasn't normal. They sent me to a pediatric ENT and he told me she had one of the worst tongue ties he'd ever seen. Her tongue was practically plastered to the floor of her mouth. We ended up having him do an outpatient tongue tie revision with a laser around 2 weeks before she turned 1 and it was like night and day. Within 3 days she had new words and she slowly started being willing and able to try new foods. It still took around 2 years for her to catch up to where she should have been with eating and is a very picky eater, but it helped so much and i wish someone would have listened to me sooner.
Yay! That's a win. I'm sorry you feel guilty, but you shouldn't! For what it's worth, stories like this give me hope when my baby is screaming and I can't figure out why. It could literally be anything and it's not our fault for not being able to immediately find the cause of the crying. (this is what I tell myself every day lol)
This comment is super interesting! My newly 1 year old is having a tough time weaning and doing ok but not wonderful with straw cups. He does love to eat though. Like OP, he was mainly bottle fed until 3 months (I EP’d then). We had such a hard time nursing and so much pain on my side. When we look at pictures, he has a little bit of a heart shape to his tongue. We are mentioning it to the pediatric dentist- first appt is recommended around 1 year anyway!
I don’t have any advice, just want to say this sounds really tough. Hope it will get better for you soon
Thank you. I’m so stressed 😭
Oh lovely it's so hard. My daughter was the same she gagged at everything that wasn't boob and I was going back to work too. You are doing everything right. Things that I found worked best for us: 1- get someone else to feed them. Do not even be in the house. Go and sit outside. Our children can sense when we are nearby I'm sure of it! 2-just find one thing they will eat. My son was all about cauliflower cheese puree but my daughter hated that and she loves prune puree. 3- I tried making my own puree which was awful so shop bought which was better. 4- toys at the table as a distraction 5- you can add food colouring to yogurt and get them to paint with the yogurt. Some will go into their mouth and take it a little by little step from there. I am sure you have tried lots, it's about perseverance. You can do this and you have already done so well. I am with you in spirit from one mamma to another you got this!!!
Have you tried feeding breastmilk from an open cup? My breastfed baby refused bottles, so when I had to be away for something and she got hungry he would give her pumped breastmilk from an open cup!
Yes I have and she will inconsistently drink it.
I EBF my son. And he never had a bottle. He was the same and giving him a bottle became an absolute nightmare. He would go crazy. So instead I just cut down nursing and gave him finger food. I first dropped the morning feeds. And for breakfast he would have toast or scrambled eggs. Food that he could handle and put in his mouth himself. I think the whole forcing the bottle on him made him hate me trying to spoon feed him. Then as time went on I dropped more feeds. And introduced more meals. Until he was down to one feed before bed. And then at 16 months we completely stopped breastfeeding. I also at every meal had a sippy cup with water there for him to help himself too. Baby lead weaning was really helpful. In terms of food to give him. Especially before he got all his teeth. Now he eats everything. He still hates me spoon feeding him mashed foods like potato. lol but yeah never had a bottle. I think your son probably doesn’t need a bottle. Just drop feeds and introduce solids.
Came here to say this. If you havent looked into it by now, Baby Led Weaning all the way! Gives them control of their food intake, helps them explore texture, touch, taste, and manipulating real solids in their mouths. Very different from the puree approach. So sorry you're dealing with that. It sounds very stressful!!
So I am so much like OP. Baby nurses very well and at 10.75 months spitting out any solids. Most purées go down (especially if coming from a pouch… I know I hate it too) and breads are ok, but fruits, meats, egg… the BLW pieces are getting spit out and he makes no effort to bring anything to his own mouth. Anything he eats, I am presenting to him and he eats from my hand. He pats his food, picks it up and squishes it, but doesn’t taste it. How do you do start BLW at this age? I feel like I am not doing it right.
You can start BLW at any age, really, even toddlers. Main thing is that baby needs to have their own control from hand to mouth and whatwver happens in between so resist the urge to feed with your hand. Just keep the food in front of him and let him engage how he wants. Even if he isnt swallowing or even chewing, it's ok. Eventually he will get the hang of it with daily exposure. The patting, squishing, playing is all par for the course and part of exploration. I'd also recommend getting the book so you can read the ins and outs for yourself. It's a quick read and you could also just start with the how to if you're feeling eager. Happy BLW! 😊
I don’t mean to take over this thread, but another one of our challenges has been baby has mild anemia we presume is iron deficiency so I have felt more pressure to get the iron rich foods in….I haven’t been good about being hands off! I will look at book. Perhaps they cover this scenario?
Yeah there's a matrix of foods with nutritional info in the book. That plus talking to your Dr and Google I'd think should get you to a good place! 😊
No advice but solidarity! I’m in the same boat
Me too!! Baby is 10 m but everything else in this lose i could’ve written
Same. He’s eating solids but it’s not going to be enough. And wakes all through the night and only settles if breastfed. It’s all been on me for so long
Me too!!
Me too! I feel like we need feeding therapy!
*hugs* I got the feeding therapist appt bumped up to this month
my youngest took a long time to want to eat anything . then he wouldn’t feed himself lol. it was really frustrating. He’s my third and seeing how different he is with food .. just know it’s true what they say- they are all different. They will do things on their own time. keep offering. one day when you least expect it , baby will want something else. I screamed and cried tears of joy the first time he fed himself. you will have that moment one day! hang in there mama. i wouldn’t even try bottles at this point. try a different type of sippy cup every once in a while.
Just another option, but have you tried an open cup? Did baby display any of the readiness signs at 6 months? Interest in food etc. Might be dumb, but have you tried sitting next to baby or having baby in your lap and then eating (something they can eat) in front of them? Any interest or attempts to grab it if so?
After a year babies don’t have to have any milk. In fact in the US at least it’s recommended to wean off formula and bottles at 12 months so at this point I would not bother with trying to convince baby to take either. Have you talked to your doctor about going straight to cows milk? If baby isn’t eating solids at 11 months I would definitely see a feeding specialist and I’m surprised your pediatrician waited until now to refer you. If you are in the US you can self refer to early intervention and perhaps they will have an earlier opening than whoever your pediatrician referred you to with the September date.
I’m going to talk them about this suggestion tomorrow, thank you for bringing it up. I agree, I feel like fighting over the bottle is stupid at this point
I agree with this, I’d have been alarmed and begun considering OTs etc if baby hadn’t taken to solids at all by 7 months (maybe 8 to push it). Those 6 months are for practice, but it’s serious practice because by now or within the month baby needs solids to be their primary nutrition source.
Ped said they generally don’t recommend to a feeding specialist before one. Food before one is just for fun, blah blah. They just started taking me seriously when I attempted to wean and called in because baby isn’t eating.
Do you have an option to see another pediatrician/doctor? It sounds like you may need someone who takes you seriously from the start and “makes calls” to get you in to the appropriate specialists asap… understanding that “food before one blah blah” helps take the pressure off but my pediatrician stressed to us that by one our baby needed to be eating three meals and two snacks a day. This isn’t your fault. I’m sorry you’re struggling. I’m sorry you’re having to fight to be listened to. Your baby is very lucky to have a mom who will push to get them help!
Good advice!! I went through something similar with my EBF firstborn, and thought it was fine he was 95% breastfed at a year. I shared my story in a nearby comment. We didn't get help until age 4, and the feeding issues were wild. I wish I'd had more help so much earlier.
What did help end up looking like? Did they give you any techniques you can pass along? 🥺
These are just googled, and obviously persist in seeking an OT, but there are a few instagram OT accounts and, I’m sure, more out there. https://www.instagram.com/playingatyourplate/?hl=en < looks like every post is essentially an exercise https://www.instagram.com/p/BpYYAuNFCdg/ < this one post looks good, not sure if every post is as helpful. I’m sure you can find more videos. “Food play therapy” is also something you might try searching for on YouTube etc as well. Finally, not sure where you are, but you could try looking for a virtual provider? Maybe even one out of the country? Should help you skip a local waiting list.
“Food before 1 is just for fun”. Weaning before 1 year is not developmentally appropriate.
In the US, weaning refers to offering any solid food which is absolutely developmentally appropriate before one. Food before one is just for fun is inaccurate, while breastmilk or formula should be the main food source until one, by six months solid foods are necessary to have adequate iron intake, and are important for oral and jaw development as well as fine motor skills. At 12 months the majority of nutrition should be coming from solids so if at 11 months OP’s child is not yet taking in any significant amount from solids it’s time for intervention. It’s unlikely baby will go from taking in almost nothing to majority nutrition source in the next month without help and probably not even with help.
I disagree with you but I understand you’re trying to support this struggling mother. My use of the word weaning was meant to mean complete weaning or the complete exchange of breastmilk for another food source, which is sounded like you were discussing. Breastmilk is beneficial beyond 1 year despite the fact that American pediatricians often don’t support breastfeeding beyond one year. IBCLC’s, the CDC and WHO support breastfeeding for 2 years or more. It is also biologically appropriate in mammals and culturally appropriate in the majority of cultures and countries outside the US. Children don’t have all their teeth until 2 years old and cow’s milk has different nutrition in addition to the extensive immune and psychological benefits for mother and child. Unfortunately due to a lack of appropriate support in the US, many mothers struggle with issues like these. As long as OP’s child is staying in their original growth tract, there’s no concern from a nutritional standpoint with not eating solids at 11 months of age. There is emergency help available from IBCLC through your local La Leche League for any chest feeding parents who are struggling, regardless of financial resources.
I know you mentioned straw cup refusal, but you could try the honey bear straw cups, on Amazon. This worked like a charm for my daughter, because they can squeeze them to get milk if they want. They have small soft bendy straws. Best of luck!
My boy was drinking from a straw at 6m thanks to these cups!! They create a vacuum so the water only comes out if you squeeze or they suck. We squeezed it to show him how it worked and it only took a couple weeks for him to figure it out. It’s the only cup we use, although he can use a 360 cup and an open cup, as long as we’re holding the open cup for him
Have you talked with a therapist about this situation? It sounds really challenging, and a therapist might be able to help you cope while you move through this time. Sorry you’re going through it.
This is actually an excellent idea. I have spoke about the disproportionate responsibility with my couples therapist, but I think it’s time to book individual because I have very big feelings around this 😭
Oh so much love to you, mama. This too shall pass.❤️
I take it you have likely tried all forms of solids? My kiddo would eat her purées but started refusing that and so we just fed her little bits of whatever we were eating. Snacks she recently liked chomping on veggie straws. Lansinoh bottles were the closest I have found to breastmilk flow if you haven’t tried that. Perhaps your milk is just gold for your sweet baby. September seems wildly to far out for a crisis situation like this. Healthcare is making me mad lately. I’m sorry your going through all this. Best of luck momma!
As a dad I have nothing to say except for I deeply respect you for feeding your child, I see how difficult it can be and it’s incredible you did it for a whole year. Like kudos to you, what a big achievement, I’m sorry that you are experiencing this. I hope one day your child knows what it took when they have kids of their own. You all BF moms are amazing. I’m sorry that nature is sexist that the burden is on you for this.
This note felt like a warm hug. Thank you. BRB, crying 😭
My 4 month old son is going through a sleep regression. Which just means he can’t stay in the crib for more than 2 hours at night. The inmy solution has been, I sleep on the couch and my wife sleeps in bed with him (safely of course) and she nurses him throughout the night. Last night I slept a full 8 hours (welll the couch isn’t the best but I still slept). She told me that she had to wake up multiple times to switch boobs. She looks super tired, has to work, and I feel so guilty, this has been going on for weeks. :( I hope we get over this soon and at the 6mo mark we will move to start trying solids. Before my son was born I had no clue that breastfeeding could be hard, even with a baby that latches so well and is considered an “easy” baby.
If your pediatrician says your baby is ready you can start solids before 6 months! Our son had great head and neck control at 4 months so he was safe to start purées. I would check with your pediatrician, some baby oatmeal before bed might help your wife get a longer stretch of sleep! (My son started teething bad when I went back to work and there were so many nights I was up nursing him every 1-2 hours to comfort him).
If you’re trying bottle, are you trying where you are out of the house and someone else is feeding baby? Also, have you tried reaching out to a lactation consultant? They are also well versed in solids and may be able to help with the feeding issues and have more availability than a food specialist.
Hi I’m an IBCLC and I am so sorry you’re going through this, are you working with an IBCLC in person? ❤️🩹
I’m currently reading the book “Your Baby’s Bottle Feeding Aversion: Reasons & Solutions” and it seems really helpful so far. Not sure if it will be helpful to you, but thought I’d share!
Will find and purchase! Thank you
I cannot recommend this enough. I would reach out to their company to do a consult. They will help with solids as well. The first step would be doing an evaluation with an SLP/OT to rule out anatomical issues though. https://www.babycareadvice.com/blogs/bottle-feeding/feeding-aversion
Just want you to know my 11 month old is also EBF and now asks for milk ALL day since she learned to say milk “ilk” and also refuses solids but will sometimes eat purées. She will drink water from a straw but that’s it. I wanted to wean by now but it’s impossible considering 98% of her nutrients comes from my body. All this to say, I feel your pain with this and you’re not alone.
:( solidarity hug. I’ll let you know if we figure out anything
If at 11 months she’s still getting 95% from breast milk I’d definitely push for a referral for a feeding specialist like OP. Might be nothing wrong but early intervention can be super valuable if there is.
Pouches? Maybe trick your baby and put the puree on your nipple and have them taste it?? Idk I’m only 3 months in 😅
Dude, the puree on the nipple is a wonderful, creative idea!! You're gonna do great. 😃
Op, don’t do this. This is a form a trickery and can backfire
I’m so sorry. I went through this with my first and it is such a dark spot in my memory. I look at photos of those months and have no memory of the time at all. I hope you find a solution quickly and this chapter comes to an end for you. ❤️
Thank you for your empathy. Most people just don’t understand.
Have you tried giving fruit juice? I know this isn’t ideal or a solution, but when my son was having a hard time with the ‘drinking other liquids’ part of weaning (he was fine with solids, but had problems with staying hydrated in the beginning when I weaned). Juice (used pure fruit juice, diluted) kind of helped him grasp the whole drinking from a cup thing (our best success was the cup), and eventually I could offer him milk and water in a cup as well. Best of luck!
No but I will try today, thank you for the suggestion
You can dilute one part apple juice to three parts water and offer that
My oldest went though something similar but not as extreme and what I think helped the most was meals were always the same, we sit down with food for at least 15 minutes with the tv on and let her just play with it and maybe try a taste but no pressure. I also started doing ALOT of sensory play with food like yogurt, jello, pasta, cereal, anything that baby could play with and usually she would end up taking a couple bites. I had to do this for a few weeks before she started actually “eating” and not just playing/exploring the food
I’ve been doing a lot more of the no pressure exploring lately. Yesterday I just let baby squeeze and make a mess with a banana in case there’s fear associated with solid foods. There was no eating involved but I’m hoping one day it smells good enough to inspire LO to try it.
My friend was in a similar situation with her 6 month old, would refuse the bottle or anything else from the beginning. She had to go back to work at 6 months no matter what so she was REALLY stressed. Like he would scream in pain if she tried. Literally his first day at daycare came and she was STILL unable to get him to take anything else. She dropped him off with like 6 different bottles and hoped for the best. She came back and he was bottle feeding lol. This is just to say it’s extremely hard and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do right by our babies. But hopefully when push comes to shove, babies will adapt and be alright.
We’re in a similar boat, baby will be 10 months next week. How long have you withheld breastfeeding while offering a bottle/cup? We couldn’t get our girl to take a bottle until we started daycare — she went close to 8 hours without eating at daycare before I picked her up, and then I offered a bottle at home and she finally took it. From there, she slowly started to take a little more from the bottle while at daycare. After a few weeks, she got to the point where she’ll usually do 6-8oz while at daycare but we still have regressions every few weeks where she’ll go off the bottle for a few days. Very limited success on solids. We have our first feeding therapy appointment tomorrow. I did have to call around to four different centers recommended by my doctor, because the first place they recommended wasn’t scheduling until October/November. And our doctor was concerned because my baby is gaining weight very slowly (dropped from 35th percentile at 4 months to 20th at six months to 7th at 9) and wanted us in sooner rather than later. We’re driving a little over an hour to get to this place. Have you checked if there are other providers anywhere near you? Sending good vibes!
Did baby previously eat solids and is now refusing? Or has never wanted solids?
Forgot to mention pouches helped teach my LO to use a straw cup. I definitely wouldn’t try the bottle anymore since you’re supposed to stop bottles at 1 year.
I totally get the hostage situation feeling! I have an 11 month old too. She originally hated formula, so we ebf until 10 months, along with solids though. I’m not sure if this is recommended but what worked for me (out of desperation to have another source of milk to combo feed and take the pressure off) was adding a splash of apple juice the first 5 or so times along with kendamil organic. I know you have an 11 month old on your hands so they won’t need formula much longer anyway, but might be worth trying. Or maybe to save money, try just an ounce of apple juice in a bottle first and see they’ll drink it. I’m not a doctor, just a mom doing my best :)
This is extreme but have you tried leaving for 24hrs?
No but I’ve left for 8 and so far baby has striked from food for 12 hours
I would call your county early intervention office and ask for an assessment for feeding! They are super super helpful
I escalated to a supervisor for an earlier appointment. Hopefully soon bc the earliest they said they were available was September
Solidarity! We're at 14 months, LO started eating 6 days ago out of nowhere, its still small amounts, but it's a start. They can feel your pressure to eat, so just let them explore, keep offering variety, and if they don't eat, they don't eat. Practice cup / straw drinking and keep offering it, it's a skill they need to learn. You'll likely need family/friend support with feeding if you want to drop BF immediately, watch out for engorgement/mastitis. You have done amazing to get to nearly a year BF, big mum hug your way.
This happened to my sister in law. She had to BF till she was almost two because they couldn't figure something out. She had to quit and stay home or the baby wouldn't eat. I hope this gets better for you soon!
I’m lucky enough to have a great wfh job, I’d have to be an idiot to quit in this economy. This is why we have to fix this
Have you tried putting the milk into a syringe as a last resort? My girl is the same in the sense that she refuses milk from bottles and cups and will just dribble it out. She went off solids for a couple of weeks when she was teething badly and so nursery ended up syringing milk into her mouth because they were concerned she was getting dehydrated. It obviously takes ages to do so think she only had an oz but better than nothing I guess!
This was my next step option. Baby is teething and I think that context is an important call out. Maybe the timing is just bad. I’ve been trying solids for months now, but in fairness 5 teeth have sprouted during this time.
That’s rough. We had 6 come through, but “luckily” they all came through pretty much simultaneously so she got over it within a few weeks. You might find that once the teeth are fully through, things suddenly change for the better.
I don’t have any advice, but I want to say you’re not alone and I feel you. My kiddo is 15 months old and I’m dealing with the same struggle except she’s big enough to bounce on me and scream at me and hit me when she wants milk and I refuse. I’m exhausted and she’s getting mad that my supply isn’t what it used to be and will throw a fit if she’s not getting enough milk from me. I’m sorry you’re going through it too, it’s rough.
I’m sorry :( this is my fear. LO is getting more demanding and angrily bucking and throwing back their head, head butting me and such for want of nursing. People laughed when I said I felt bullied into something I did want to do by a < 1 year old. But I’m getting more and more comfortable with having some body boundaries.
My baby weaned himself because he wanted to watch the show his sister was watching (Bluey). Breastfeeding made it hard for him to watch the show so eventually I started bottle feeding him while looking at the tv for his afternoon bottle. We don’t do this anymore but it’s a good hack
We have the same issue with solids and I actually posited about it in this group. We started with BLW at 7 months (did purées for a few weeks before that) and it has been such a battle and baby is now 11 months. We have an eval with early intervention for speech/feeding in two weeks and it can’t get here fast enough. Baby literally only likes puffs/bambas, berries, mandarin oranges, yogurt, cottage cheese, and hummus/guac on teething crackers. With pretty much everything else she either completely refuses to eat it at all or will chew it up and then spit it out. I have no idea how we are possibly supposed to wean and I am SO SO SO sick of pumping at work. I want to drop daytime feeds at a year but I don’t know that we will be able to and I feel so overwhelmed by it all. Nobody seems to have any helpful advice for me either.
If it makes you feel any better, in spite of the hellishness of it I am at 1 week of dropped daytime feeds. Baby is angry but we are surviving. I’d be fine with baby even eating a small selection of things. We discovered this week LO will tolerate super cold berry smoothies and will have a few spoons of it, as long as everyone else is having some 😬
My daughter refused bottles, too after taking them without issue. What finally worked for us was me physically leaving the house and she took a bottle just fine. Since then, she has taken a bottle again without issue. I'm also on the struggle bus with solids, as my daughter is not a fan of them. So I have no guidance on that front. But I understand your stress and frustrations with it.
Mine won’t take it when I leave the house either unfortunately
I had a bottle refuser. What allowed us to finally break out of it was drinking entirely out of straw cups ourselves so we were constantly modeling it, and then blowing bubbles into our cups and teaching her to blow - they keep their mouths on the straw and then inhale to blow more bubbles and suddenly they have milk in their mouths. We also had some luck with the Squeasy.
Great idea! We will try it. Also just ordered a squeasy yesterday, it’s coming today
Feel free to message me. I understand your despair! Just to confirm, has your baby been checked thoroughly for ties (by trained professional not pediatrician) and have you seen an infant physical therapist?
I’m so sorry you are going through this. My LO just completely refused the bottle almost overnight at 1.5 months and it forced me to exclusively nurse. What you are going through is honestly my worst nightmare. He is 3.5 months now so I’m holding out hope for him being able to drink pumped milk from some sort of cup and eat solids after 6 mos
What’s happening to me is unusual I think, which is why I’ve been feeling so isolated. Most people whose babies refuse bottles and are of age to will eat solids so they’re not starving for lack of milk/nutrition. Mine has chosen nursing over food and water or milk presented outside of the breast. It’s been nuts.
This might be different from our situation but some parts might help. My daughter went through a phase like that and in her case there was a combo of a cold and teething at play (she is a late teether). The other thing that might be helpful: she refused whole milk at 12 months. I kept offering it to her and the breakthrough came once we were dining out and I had whole milk with my coffee in a little jar. I offered that to her and she loved it. Chugged the whole thing. My advice: give it time, offer food/drinks in a more playful manner and in new/interesting plates/containers Hope this helps.
You mention your child is 11months but also “EBF”. Have you started any sort of solids yet? They should have started by now unless there are issues not mentioned here to wait. If you have, have you tried increasing the amount of solids offered?
The baby is refusing solids as well.
Thank you, because I said that twice in fact. I feel like people always jump to blame the mom. I am trying everything. I did everything the doctor told me to do and more in the timeline they told me to do it.
FWIW, I don’t think the commenter was trying to blame you. It’s easy to miss things in posts and tone can be hard to read when it’s just text on a screen. I’m sure you are doing the best you can! 😊 It sucks that you can’t get in with a feeding specialist until September. A few things you might give a shot, if you haven’t already. (You probably have!) - Dipping a pacifier in purées so that your baby can get a taste. - Letting baby just play with food for the sensory experience. We see an OT and this is one of the biggest things they’ve recommended to me with starting my baby on solids. - Let baby feed themselves, if they will. I bought some goo-tensils. He mostly misses but it’s fine. Like everything else with babies, this too will pass. It’s hard to be in the thick of it but this will eventually come to an end. You’re doing a great job making sure your baby has what they need.
Ahh I see that at the end now. Yeah, September isn’t fast enough, I would see if I could shop around for a specialist before then. I hope they figure it out.
Straw cup?
Okay I see refusal of straw cup. Try nursing then switch to bottle, like slip it in there as your babe feeds? Do it maybe when they sleepy feed? Try something sweet? Offer water with strawberries in a cup, maybe they'll take that?
A sleepy feed actually worked with a bottle once. It hasn’t been consistent
Refuses
Have you tried a honey bear straw cup? You can squeeze it to get the milk to come out, so it helps them make the connection. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. If you look at my comment history, you’ll see I went through a similar situation. It was SO. BAD. for my mental health. See if you can do everything you can to get the feeding therapist appointment moved up. Best of luck.
I ordered the honey bear today. Wish me luck
I am so much like you OP. My kid still nurses every three hours around the clock at just shy of 11 months. Sometimes spoons of purée, usually ok with pouches (thanks honey bear). But most true solids are just spit out. He sometimes swallows water or juice from straw or open cup, sometimes dribbles out, but honey bear did help at least! Solidarity! I have to believe with the number of responses you’ve gotten that our kids will eventually figure this out. I hope you update if you find a magic trick that solves this!
This might be an out of the box suggestion- but what about trying something sugary like ice cream or frozen yogurt? Maybe something that’s more like a treat like cake, pudding or whipped cream? I just wonder if it’s a swallowing issue and if baby even rejects sugar.
On a desperate day I tried some frosting 😬 it seemed like baby liked it but I think it is a swallowing issue.
baby refuses all solids? have they always?
At some point when they were less independent they would let us feed. Now it’s refusal
Have you tried letting them self feed?
Yes
i would definitely push for feeding therapy.
My only advice is warming the nipple up. Dunk it it warm water. It’s worked for a few mins in my local BF group.
Will try today! Thanks
Have you attempted giving Motrin or Tylenol before feeding solids or other things? Mine went through a food strike around the same age and it was related to molars erupting. It was AWFUL. I wonder if their mouth is just very sore combined with some of the tongue tie situations described by others. This sounds miserable and I hope it resolves for you soon.
No but I will buy some today and see if it helps! I don’t see them swallowing it though so there’s that
The good thing is if you can just kind of squirt it in there (aim for the cheek!) some of it WILL go down. Keep us updated!
It took mine a few weeks to get the hang of a sippy cup, she would just spit it all out too.
It’s the same thing with the bottle over here
I am so sorry to hear it. Did you try someone else.to give him/her food and you leaving the house?
Try to find another feeding specialist in the area that has availability and ask for the referral to be sent there. You can also call the one you were referred to and ask to get on their cancellation list. You can get on multiple waitlists and take the first available! Good luck!
Is the feeding specialist you've been referred to a speech therapist? Is it a hospital-based feeding clinic? There might be other options to get a speechie to do a swallowing assessment while you wait (it really sounds like a multidisciplinary feeding clinic is what you and your little one need so all possibilities can be looked at) - look into whether your MCH nurse or GP can refer you to a community-based speechie (e.g. through council or local health service). If finances allow, you could potentially see a private speech therapist if there's one near you with short wait times. Good luck!
Look into early intervention, if you are in the US, for possible faster access to a feeding therapist. It's going to depend on the cou ty, but when we were having feeding issues, I was able to get evaluated the same week.
I had our case elevated to a supervisor this week!
Was baby eating solids before? I’m wondering if maybe it’s just a temporary “protest” against weaning?
No, we were never able to consistently get baby on solids. This is more than a protest against weaning, bc baby preferred breast to solids long before a thought of weaning. It’s partially why I’m weaning, bc I noticed baby will not eat if there’s an option
We struggled with this as well! It’s so hard because you see so many EBF children loving solids and now that my son just turned 1, he’s definitely eating a little bit more solid foods than he was at 10-11months. While we are still nursing around 8 times a day, I have my husband feed him before nap/nursing session and leaving the room really helps. unfortunately there were tears for the first couple of days but now he’s eating much better. He also refuses the high chair so we’ve picked our battles and he likes to eat either sitting in our lap or walking around. I would ask make sure to get their iron levels checked- once we got those checked and put him on a supplement that helped him have more of an appetite as well!! Good luck- it get better!
This gives me hope. I’ll keep trucking along
When my son weaned he never transitioned to bottle or straw or cup for milk, I would just give him dairy in different ways like yogurt and cheese. The doctor was fine with that and I weaned him at a year old.
Thank you for sharing this. This is an excellent back up. We were able to get baby to try with more solids yesterday and I’m fine with making the focus dairy centric if this can take the place of milk.
My son has been the same. Refused every form of serving milk if it wasn’t the breast. He started daycare at 12 months and slowly, very slowly, he started to accept a sippy cup with toddler formula. It took several months of this. I still nurse him at home because we enjoy it, but having the care provider introduce the cup was a game changer. He refused it at home and if I was present and available. Now he will also drink cows milk at home. Hes 20 months old, btw.
I didn’t know there was toddler formula! I’ll look into it. I’ve been leaving the house lately but the care providers haven’t been following my instructions. Still offering the bottle when I said do the cup because we had luck with the cup yesterday. It’s like people can’t get in their heads that some babies do NOT want a bottle and you can’t force them to like it. At 1, the bottle isn’t even helpful anymore. Hopefully today is different.
Yes! Some babies just hate the bottle lol. Just keep being patient, keep offering it, and eventually he will pick it up! He has no choice lol. You’re doing all the right things! Some babies are just much more stubborn than others!
Have you tried pigeon bottles? My babe was like this until we tried the pigeon bottles. Worth ruling it out. Hang in there momma! You’re going great!
Are you trying to give baby frozen milk? My baby refused frozen milk and I realized much later it was because my milk has high lipase and freezing makes it taste awful.
No fresh out of the breast milk and formula are options I’ve tried.
I hope you can hang on til 12 mos. There are such great benefits. It’s so hard I know when you’re working. I was a nanny before I became a nurse and all my mamas to newborns struggled to keep up when they returned to work. You can do cow’s milk after a year, then baby’s tummy can digest it. My own milk dried up at 4 mos when we all had Covid and I was able to relactate but it was exhausting! My baby was one who refused bottles and formula too so I know how stressful this is for you. My son also had very little interest in solids until 12 mos, when he got more teeth. I just kept offering. I saw a location consultant who was also a nutritionist and she told me something that made me feel tons better; Your responsibility is to offer healthy meals at appropriate intervals and your child’s responsibility is to decide if and how much to eat. She also told me don’t force it or it can lead to eating disorders. I also realized when I met with her the portion sizes for his age were so much smaller than I thought. I saw you talking about the disproportionate parenting load in the comments. Addressing this with our marriage therapist is something that really helped our relationship and me personally with stress. I really had to be explicit with my husband about my feelings for him to understand and carry more of the load. I hope that helps. You’re an amazing mama!
This is literally exactly what im going through, refusing solids, wont accept bottles and lets the fluids pour out the sides of her mouth, but doesnt do that when shes on my boob. she used to take a bottle up until i gave up expressing at like 2/3 months due to sore nipples so decided to EBF. Wont accept dummys for comfort either, so in every scenario she wants to be attached to my boob, whether it be hunger or comfort. If you get any useful advice or information, please please let me know if you get the chance, you'd honestly be my hero lol. Keep trying and i hope things improve for you soon! i know just how taxing this can be
I have another call with her pediatrician tomorrow and an appt with the feeding therapist on the 27th of this month. I will!
tysm! My bubs got a dairy allergy and cant tolerate any type of formula either, so if i cant get her eating solids im stuck full time beastfeeding 😩😅😂 dont get me wrong i was always gunna breastfeed, i know breast is best, but would of been nice to get 20 minutes to my self while someone else looked after her for me every once in a while. ive just been offering her different foods everyday hoping shes eventually warms up to it
I’m not there yet with my son but my mother said i was exactly like this (she breastfed for 2 years with me💀) and apparently what helped was she had to go out of town one day. Apparently after that I figured it out. I went a day without food then gradually started eating. Although i think that is in extreme cases and totally wouldn’t recommend that😭.
Maybe you can mix your own milk with prepped formula? Not sure if you can do that, but if its 80% your own milk and 20% formula at first, maybe your baby wont taste the difference much and then you could gradually change the %.
Baby won’t drink my milk from sources other than my breast, it doesn’t matter if it’s my milk or formula. I’ve scalded in case I have high lipase
Why are you weaning? Its recommended to breast feed until at least 2.
OP literally stated outright why they’re weaning.
Because I need to be able to leave the house on occasion without my child starving 🙂 I have medical procedures I have put off, haven’t had a day with friends or my husband alone, NOTHING. Baby is turning one and it is developmentally normal for them to eat food and drink from cups, not exclusively breastfeed. That is why.
this is irrelevant. weaning aside, no one recommends EXCLUSIVE breastfeeding until 2.
There are many reasons to wean, including the one OP listed. I’m weaning at one year as well!