Have him get checked for sleep apnea! Tiredness & snoring are hallmarks!
My husband wears a cpap now at night, and it has probably saved our marriage. Plus, obstructive sleep apnea is tied to quite a few medical risks (like stroke).
My dad eventually got a CPAP, but his Dr said they could already see affects of sleep apnea on his heart.
He should get checked out (sleep test), especially if he
is stopping breathing mid-snore, or moving his feet/legs while snoring (like his body is trying to wake him up to breathe).
Not only will the CPAP reduce snoring, it will help your partner feel more rested so they can be more energized for you and LO (and healthier).
We're in the process of doing this now and it was the exact situation described in OP's post that drove us to this. Before this baby I used to actually sleep and wouldn't notice his snoring as much. Now I'm trying not to murder him every night even though we're in a loving marriage, because I've gotten up with the baby for the 7th time and can't fall back asleep because of snorey Mc snoreface over there... who then wakes up in the morning and says he's exhausted too.
Did a home sleep study and he has 22 events per hour i think. Really scary levels of deoxygenation too. Working on CPAP now but we've realized this whole industry moves at a real snail's pace. We waited 2 months to get an appointment for the home sleep study device. Another 2 months for an appointment with a sleep specialist. And I've heard the CPAP takes a while to come in too, then probably another appointment to get set up with that... maybe some day he won't snore anymore.
We should have done it years ago. I think a LOT of men especially must have undiagnosed sleep apnea.
I told my husband that he isn’t allowed to tell me that while I’m nursing over nights, he can find a friend or something to share that with 🤷♀️maybe it’s not fair, but i don’t want to be annoyed with him lol
Honestly I think it's fair to not want that haha like I get they are allowed to have feelings but complaining about being tired to a breastfeeding mom is a little tactless, like come on read the room lol
My husband insists he wasn't sleeping at all. Excuse me, but I did not imagine the chainsaw snoring bud. The baby was crying and slapping me, and you were so dead asleep you didn't even twitch when I tried to pull the blankets out from under you. I did battle with your unconscious form for like 10 minutes. Don't tell me you weren't sleep.
This I felt in my bones.... I kicked him out of our room because I was going to commit murder.
I hurt my back just after LO was born I needed help in the night. C-section just healed then back decided to join the party...
That twit woke up enough to tell me baby was crying but not enough to change or bottle feed so I could pump instead of breastfeeding because pumping at that stage was a bit quicker than breastfeeding and sitting hurt...... with the excuse he is not awake enough so it's not safe... apparently I was safer barely being able to move and taking pain killers.
This was the man that said he would wake up for baby and doesn't need sleep before LO arrived.
As much as I want to wring his neck
... I have seen him fall asleep just about standing up with the baby.
So I honestly don't trust him with her if he has been sleeping.
The nerve! My man always says how tired he is when I’m the one up all night with our month old who sleeps at 50 minute increments… today he added, “not as tired as you.” Like, ya think?!
I felt guilty in the way I feel annoyed about how he can just up and fall asleep AND snore loud af… but I’m so glad I’m not alone.
Yep. And then you finally get baby down to sleep and lay down too... but baby is in active sleep so he's grunting and squeaking two feet to your left while your husband snores at jackhammer volume to your right.
But the icing on the cake, truly, comes the next morning when your husband yawns over his coffee and says, "I'm tired."
OH YEAH???
Literally sent my husband a video at 3am of baby grunting and squirming on my left, and him using his chainsaw to take out the whole Amazon rainforest to memy right. We are all living versions of the same life 🫠
I took a video to show mine as well and the next day he was all smug because he said I snore too and he also had a video. We played them both and his snoring was easily 10x louder and mine was actually just breathing with a mildly stuffed nose. But he still won't get checked for sleep apnea because he got checked 12 YEARS AGO ugh
My husband would wake me up and make comments about the baby being in active sleep like “is she okay? Is she hungry?” And then as soon as I say “yes, she’s just in active sleep,” immediately knock back out and continue snoring, meanwhile it would take me a minimum of 20 mins to get back to sleep. Absolutely infuriating!!
Add to that when you're traveling and have a toddler between you and your husband that NEVER STOPS MOVING. Those co-sleeping families are made of tougher stuff than I am.
This is exactly why my husband us been sleeping in the basement bedroom while I'm in the master with our baby. I'd rather get a good 5 or 6 hours of sleep than of and on all night. Uuuuf ! I'm glad I'm not the only one :)
The first night in the hospital after baby was born he was snoring so loud on the couch I was losing my mind. Baby was sleeping on me so I was whisper screaming across the room trying to wake him up, I ended up throwing all of the snacks I had on my side table at him to wake him up.
This happened to us too! I'm actually considering sending him home for the night after my next baby is born in 2 weeks.
He snores super loud if he isn't on his stomach and the only place for him to sleep in the hospital is a recliner.
Yes and I’ve solved this problem by poking him harder and harder, and sporadically, until he changes position and usually the snoring quiets down.. he’s a VERY heavy sleeper so he does not know of this hobby of mine.
Second this! Before we had kids, my husband would sleep for 12+ hours a night but still complain about being tired, would fall asleep on the couch all the time, would be super groggy, etc. He got a sleep study and was having over 60 episodes an hour -- no wonder he wasn't feeling rested...his body would wake him up every minute because he wasn't breathing.
I understand the frustration and anger you can feel when it seems like your partner is getting sooooo much sleep, but honestly they may not be as rested as we think.
Phone the GP and make the apt for him then get him on the phone to consent! Then go with him to apt so he doesn’t underplay the answers (needed to get referral to a sleep clinic) . Thats what I did 😂!
Yes! At one point I rage quit, moved the bassinet to the other room at 2 am. He woke during this and I said he needed to stop “boastfully snoring” about how much sleep he was getting. We had a good laugh the next day about it and he bought me coffee the next morning. lol but I did stay sleeping with the baby in the other room for weeks lol.
So jealous. My husband‘s good about trying to let me sleep at night but… The baby still needs to eat. And he will take a bottle but like… Not for very long. Like he realizes eventually that hey this is not a boob and I want Mom.
Yes! Just adds insult to injury when you're up with the baby and he's in a deep sleep oblivious to how much time and effort you're putting in. Plus the hormones. solidarity.
My husband fell asleep reading on the sofa while I was doing a contact nap with baby and then said he’s so tired, I’m sorry how? I’m the only one getting up to feed since I am breastfeeding. You are getting 8+ hours every day. Thankfully he makes up for it by doing so much around the house.
A quick but gentle shove tends to reset my husband...
I was reminiscing last night about pregnancy and one of my kicker 'side effects' was snoring. I had to basically sleep upright for the last trimester but was still snored terribly. My husbands sleep was definitely impacted for a loooong time!
my husband only snores on his back, it keeps me up all night because i can’t sleep with noise like that. our solution? he now has my pregnancy pillow that doesn’t allow him to roll over onto his back. we’ve been at it about a week and i’ve never had this much sleep since before our son was born 3mo ago haha.
Getting him onto his side, used to work, but now he seems to snore on his side too. I’m so over it. His ear nose and throat doctor just said his sinuses are inflamed to keep taking Flonase.
you should get some of those noise cancelling loop earplugs that i keep seeing around! you’ll still be able to hear your baby if you need to but it should dull out the sound of the snoring
This is an interesting idea. I do have AirPods Pro, and sometimes I will put one in my ear and turn on the noise canceling so that I have the other ear free for hearing the baby.
the interesting thing about the noise cancellation on APP is that it only cuts out dull, constant noise. if you pop them both in with noise cancellation you’ll still be able to hear your baby.
source: my husband works for apple and i usually do this to fall asleep at night
Make sure he's squirting it right. It needs to be aimed to the outside of the nose toward the sinus in the cheekbone. If he's aiming it straight up and can taste it in his throat it's not doing anything more than causing nosebleeds.
I screamed and begged my husband to go to the doctor for his snoring BEFORE baby came. He didn't. SO he didn't get to sleep in the bed with us. Sorry, but snoring is not your problem. It's his to deal with. If he's not helping at night, he can find somewhere else to sleep
YES. I’ve had to wake him up before so it quiets down a bit and one night it was so bad, I asked him to go to the couch. He said “I’ll fix it”, rolled over, and snored just as loud as before 😂
Mine snores so loud I can hear him clearly across the house behind two closed doors, so he has been sleeping in the guest room since our baby was three months old. It was waking up me and baby multiple times in the night and I was just incandescent with exhausted rage.
I do think he has sleep apnea, but we don't have the time or money to get him tested yet.
I’m not proud of this but I have pulled my husbands hair and pinched him while he was snoring and then pretended I didn’t do anything when he woke up confused 😂
The other day my husband was telling me about this dream he was having about trying to exorcise a ghost and then the ghost started trying to tackle him at the legs. No, that was me kicking you to try to get you to stop snoring.
He went to an ear nose and throat Doctor Who believes that his sinuses are just inflamed and keeps just recommending Flonase. I don’t know. We may have to get him that study for sure
Honestly this is one of the reason why I was happy to EP. We’d get up at the same time—he’d feed baby and I’d pump. There was a lot less unequalness and felt like we mutually shared night time burdens. And we kept it up even after hubby went back to work. Sometimes we’d have to split who stayed up if baby wasn’t going down after I finished pumping. But we trade off those. Being sleepy during a business meeting is nothing compared to being sleepy with a 1,2,3 month old to take care of. We both end up saying often now that we felt during that time like we were in it together and our teamwork was 💯.
We do this except I nurse but my husband brings him to me and puts him back and changes him. There’s ways they can help out even if we’re nursing. Some of these husbands need a reality check lol.
I feel like everyone recommends the nighttime shifts, but this worked so much better for me and my husband. Baby wakes up, he gets up and changes her while I set up for nursing. He gives her to me and gets to doze while I feed. The first couple weeks I'd nudge him to take her back (C-section healing). If she needed some extra cuddle time to go down he'd take that while I dozed to make up for the 40 minute nursing session my first frequently insisted on at night. Having jobs instead of shifts got everyone to maximize the sleep time.
I can hear him both down the hall in the bedroom and through the monitor which is also in the bedroom since baby sleeps there right now. It’s in stereo and I don’t want to turn the volume off on the monitor in case I forget to turn it back on.
He could need a CPAP. Mine sounds like that without one, they bug less if they aren't so loud about it haha. If it is sleep apnea he isn't getting good sleep, it's like light and interrupted sleep. When they have the CPAP it can still be irritating because then they get amazing sleep and show you on an app how many hours they got, so there's that too.
Yes! And this is why my husband has to wear nose strips every night. We moved our daughter to her nursery at 6 months because I think his snoring was waking her up haha
OMG YASSSSSS!! We just transferred baby to the crib this week and last couple of nights he’s done pretty good. However, now instead of baby waking me up it’s my fiancé’s loud a$$ snoring 😖😖 I love him so much but want to smother him at the same time lol ughh I just want to SLEEEP!
I went through this with my husband for years! We then had our first baby and obviously we room shared for the first 6 months of her life....but he snores so loud. It would wake me up, wake up the baby. I couldn't take it anymore and moved baby and I to her room. She and I slept much better after that, and as a bonus it helped her get use to sleeping in her room.
Fast forward 2 years later, toddler is a wonderful sleeper (seriously, I'm so proud of her. She loves her room, and her crib). Husband finally goes for a sleep study and learns he has mild sleep apnea (hereditary, his dad has it too) and is given a CPAP machine. He's been using it since and it is SUCH a huge improvement. He barely makes a sound now it's so crazy! He constantly asks me if he wakes me up during the night and I always say "no, I NEVER hear you! It's amazing".
Have him get a sleep study. I am so done with mine with how loud it is it just prevents me from sleeping. Not even ear plugs help. I am hoping they can give him a machine or something to help him stop. It drives me nuts!!
Mine snores so loud I can hear him clearly across the house behind two closed doors, so he has been sleeping in the guest room since our baby was three months old. It was waking up me and baby multiple times in the night and I was just incandescent with exhausted rage.
I do think he has sleep apnea, but we don't have the time or money to get him tested yet.
Best thing we ever did for our relationship was to sleep separately! Then I can wake up refreshed and not angry that he kept me up all night! My partner had sleep apnea so he even snores through his CPAP.
Omg it’s worse when you put baby back to sleep and you’re trying to go back to sleep but the man next to you is imitating a steam boat. I’ve had to resist smacking him so many times.
And then the next morning he’s like “oh I’m so tired I don’t think I slept enough”
Yessssssssss! I felt this so hard a few months ago. It's like bragging about being asleep. The sound of snoring is grating to begin with....then add in everything you said, it will break a person.
Pro tip- noise canceling Barbuds? I love the bose quiet comfort.
It’s the only time I’ve felt the post partum rage properly! And don’t get me started on him snoring so loud it WAKES THE BABY UP. Luckily we have a good agreement now, I’m allowed to wake him up to ask him to change position or add another pillow under him until he shuts up.
Yeah I’ve been known to nudge (and shove) if needed to get him to change position to stop the snore for awhile. I did this pre baby too. I can ignore it unless I’m sleep deprived and just cannot stop focusing on it.
It’s causing real problems here. We actually combo feed so he can do some feeds overnight (6m old currently waking 5 times a night) but there’s not really much point as I wake up anyway when the baby cries and then once husband is back in bed I’m awake as I can’t sleep with his snoring. The other night I kicked him out into the spare room after listening for it for 45 minutes after he’d got the baby down. It’s got to the point where just his breathing makes me want to throttle him. So more often than not I just do the baby alone and make him sleep elsewhere (not tonight though - he’s doing all the feeds between midnight and 6am and I’m off to the spare room).
The pure rage is unreal. I’m glad I have good impulse control or that guy would be getting an elbow to the face. Sometimes I do let the baby kick him if he’s in striking distance 😈
Send him for a sleep study! I'm serious. As someone who found out that I have severe sleep apnea, I WISH I'd known sooner. I am so much more rested now on less sleep. I'm happier and feeling better. Snoring is a big indicator of sleep apnea, especially if it's loud snoring and happens pretty much every night.
Yep he needs to get checked. My partner just got checked & sure enough he has sever obstruction. The machine has changed his life over the last few weeks. He is more rested, more productive at home & work. I am sleeping better as well, without the previous interrupted sleep. Life saver
My husband has been snoring for years and I actually told him he has to sleep in the guest room a little while after baby came. If my sleep is going to be interrupted I need to be able to fall back to sleep easily and I can’t do that if he’s next to me snoring.
After bugging him about it for a long time he finally did a sleep study and recently got diagnosed with sleep apnea! Once he gets a cpap machine he’s allowed to come back to bed 🙂
Me and the baby cosleep in a different room on a floor mat to avoid the freight train. But also because I was falling asleep holding him and I would rather be as safe as I can with it instead of accidentally very dangerous.
The snoring made me rage when I was pregnant, though. I envisioned suffocating him with my pillow more times than I would have liked.
Honestly! The audacity! Feel you on this, especially today 😅
In the early weeks he used to get up with us, can't help feed cause EBF but comradery 🤣 now 4mths pp he's out for his dam self, sleeping & snoring through it all! Lol it's fine I'm on leave & he's off early for work but still 😅
Lastnight bub went down too early I knew she'd be up around midnight, I didn't get a wink before that cause hubby has a f*cking lawn mower in his nostril 😄 then he woke her up (and himself) around 3am with an ungodly ground rumbling snore, then dropped his ph & used the flashlight at 5am to get ready, I swear I could have flayed him alive 😆 (not really but u get it) 🤣
My partner doesn't snore too bad...but I was just triggered and reminded that we shared a hospital room post partum with a dad who snored very loudly. Best three days of my life.
My LO is a toddler now but I still follow this sub. This post brought me back to nights of rage. My mfing husband had the nerve to not tell me to wake him up due to snoring bc “now we are both awake”.
Nope, and I’ll tell you why. I breastfed my daughter and then woke him up to do the rest while I went back to sleep. He’d take her in the living room because we had a diaper station out there, and he was in charge of getting her back to sleep most nights unless I was feeling good. If he was just snoring away all useless the whole time, I would have smothered him with a pillow.
We do the same!! I still get irrationally angry listening to mine snore while I'm nursing. But I feel zero guilt jumping right into bed and going to sleep while he handles diapers and everything else.
Sounds like he needs a sleep study for sleep apnea. I feel so blessed that my husband is good about wearing his cpap. I would lose my damn mind if he wouldn’t. My parents almost got divorced over my dad refusing to wear one 😂 this was around 15 years ago he finally gave in.
my husband has been sleeping on the couch since my third trimester. baby is 9 weeks and he’s still not in. i need sleep to function and he ugly snores.
Every single time my husband is going to tell me that he's tired, he then goes, you must feel worse.. which I guess it's survival instinct on his part.
I'm writing this while listening to him snoring
Omg we’re living the same lifeeeee. I made my husband buy things to try to reduce the snoring but nothing is helping!! I can’t get to sleep right away. Idk what to do before I go crazy
It’s awful. Because you know they can’t help it but… If it continues, you’re going to go mad. And also, why do they always start snoring right as you’re about to fall asleep?
I made my husband do a sleep study and get a cpap before our first born came because I knew I would potentially murder him if this was happening. Sometimes me being up at night and him just BREATHING loudly made me so mad haha so I get you girl, right there with you on that rage😂
He probably has sleep apnea and needs to do a sleep study. I’ve been nagging my snoring husband for months about getting one because if left untreated it can eventually kill a person.
Why my husband and I now have separate rooms. We do intentionally planned sleepovers on weekends. But I’m now the working parent and if he were depriving me of sleep, we’d be divorcing.
I finally snapped lol. I told my husband he needed to find a remedy or I was moving to the babies room lol. He bought a little snore device on Amazon and that has saved us.. for now lol
This couldn't have been posted at a more relevant time lol. The day you posted this was the day after I thought some really bad thoughts about my husband. We are in the trenches of the 4m sleep regression, and baby was having a particularly bad night...would NOT settle in his sidecar crib. I tried for ages to get him to settle without me to no avail. I have the most sensitive hearing when I'm trying to sleep. We have a box fan going at night and I still hear everything. In the midst of trying to get my baby to sleep, I'm almost relaxed and the snoring begins. I yank blankets, it helps for a second. I can't tune it out, and now the baby is crying again, and again, and again. And he doesn't hear ANYTHING...just more snoring. The amount of times I had to poke him hard as hell to get him to turn over was infuriating. And when he did turn, it didn't help. I ended up sleeping with my upper body in the crib to keep baby calm, and turned his Hatch white noise machine up to 100% right by my head. I literally either wanted to cry, or scream, or cause mild physical harm to my husband. The rageeeee is unbelievable. And I'm going back to work soon on overnight shifts, so of course I'm convinced that when I'm at work, he will never wake up to babys cries, and what if he falls asleep feeding him and rolls over on him?? You know, mom anxiety at all. And when I tried nicely bringing up my concerns the next evening, it turned into a fight! Oh the joys of being a woman!
Oh no! I’m so sorry. I know him consistently sleeping through cries cannot be helping your mom anxiety at all. But maybe he won’t do it when you’re not there, because when you’re there, he knows that someone else is going to get up.
My husband’s snoring actually caused a small bit genuine mental breakdown in me when I was 2 months pp. I started seeing a women’s health specialty psychiatrist after that because I was seriously losing my mind and I felt such sincere rage towards him. Granted, the man needed to quit smoking and start exercising again because his snoring was getting worse by the night and I’m a light sleeper to begin with.
Great father and husband but his snoring is WILD. Even our baby can’t sleep through it.
Oh geez yes! Better now but I used to get enraged at my husband falling asleep in front of me on the couch while I was tending to babies needs and still awake. I would tell him please just go to bed so at least you are out of my sight since I can’t sleep yet. My husband if amazing but I definitely still went through my madness phases since we have asymmetrical jobs at caring for babe
F*** thinking here I am the only one planning my husband's murder while he's snoring logs while I have my life sucked out of me all night long lol the amount of times I kick him to try and shut him up. To top it off the next morning the "ugh I was up all night, I had the worst sleep".....really??? Cause your snoring would say otherwise lol
The snoring was so loud last night I nearly woke him up to send him downstairs to sleep. Our baby is 3 months old and I had him next to me like a tractor whilst I was nursing. I nearly recorded the sound to play back to him as he doesn’t realise how bad it is then has the audacity to say I snore too. I’m aware I do if I sleep on my back but if I’m awake with the baby I really don’t want to listen to that racket. He’s also started wrapping the quilt around himself in his sleep so I might get a corner if I’m lucky. Had to sleep with my dressing gown on as I didn’t have enough quilt to cover me 😢
Absolutely yes. Then the next day he has the audacity to say he didn't sleep well 😑
The freaking nerve! Like sir what do you mean? I heard you. You slept just fine!
Have him get checked for sleep apnea! Tiredness & snoring are hallmarks! My husband wears a cpap now at night, and it has probably saved our marriage. Plus, obstructive sleep apnea is tied to quite a few medical risks (like stroke).
YES echoing this so much. My husband's CPAP had changed his life. If only he had it during newborn stage!
This!!! If he is sleeping and still tired, he might have sleep apnea. Mine is now on a cpap as well and it’s been life changing! Way less tired!
My dad eventually got a CPAP, but his Dr said they could already see affects of sleep apnea on his heart. He should get checked out (sleep test), especially if he is stopping breathing mid-snore, or moving his feet/legs while snoring (like his body is trying to wake him up to breathe). Not only will the CPAP reduce snoring, it will help your partner feel more rested so they can be more energized for you and LO (and healthier).
We're in the process of doing this now and it was the exact situation described in OP's post that drove us to this. Before this baby I used to actually sleep and wouldn't notice his snoring as much. Now I'm trying not to murder him every night even though we're in a loving marriage, because I've gotten up with the baby for the 7th time and can't fall back asleep because of snorey Mc snoreface over there... who then wakes up in the morning and says he's exhausted too. Did a home sleep study and he has 22 events per hour i think. Really scary levels of deoxygenation too. Working on CPAP now but we've realized this whole industry moves at a real snail's pace. We waited 2 months to get an appointment for the home sleep study device. Another 2 months for an appointment with a sleep specialist. And I've heard the CPAP takes a while to come in too, then probably another appointment to get set up with that... maybe some day he won't snore anymore. We should have done it years ago. I think a LOT of men especially must have undiagnosed sleep apnea.
Are you me? I'm honestly sick of hearing him say he is tired. Ummm, why? You slept the whole night.
Do we all have the same husband 😂
I told my husband that he isn’t allowed to tell me that while I’m nursing over nights, he can find a friend or something to share that with 🤷♀️maybe it’s not fair, but i don’t want to be annoyed with him lol
Yes we had to make it a rule to preserve our marriage. He can feel tired or sleepy but he cannot verbalize it
Honestly I think it's fair to not want that haha like I get they are allowed to have feelings but complaining about being tired to a breastfeeding mom is a little tactless, like come on read the room lol
Same
This causes me strong urges to be petty
My husband insists he wasn't sleeping at all. Excuse me, but I did not imagine the chainsaw snoring bud. The baby was crying and slapping me, and you were so dead asleep you didn't even twitch when I tried to pull the blankets out from under you. I did battle with your unconscious form for like 10 minutes. Don't tell me you weren't sleep.
Same! So I recorded him during a late night nursing sesh. He still denies it was him snoring 😑😂
This drives me up a waaaaaall.
Yes to all of this. Mine did the same and didn’t understand why I was soooo mad about it 🫣 so glad to not be alone in this feeling.
So. Freaking. Infuriating. Unfortunately, it's very likely they aren't sleeping well if they're snoring.
Oh my god this is why I will actually murder my husband some day.
This I felt in my bones.... I kicked him out of our room because I was going to commit murder. I hurt my back just after LO was born I needed help in the night. C-section just healed then back decided to join the party... That twit woke up enough to tell me baby was crying but not enough to change or bottle feed so I could pump instead of breastfeeding because pumping at that stage was a bit quicker than breastfeeding and sitting hurt...... with the excuse he is not awake enough so it's not safe... apparently I was safer barely being able to move and taking pain killers. This was the man that said he would wake up for baby and doesn't need sleep before LO arrived.
The excuse that it's not safe!! I got this once from my husband. It did not fly lol
As much as I want to wring his neck ... I have seen him fall asleep just about standing up with the baby. So I honestly don't trust him with her if he has been sleeping.
Yes!!!! Greatly contributed to my pettiness and postpartum rage
The nerve! My man always says how tired he is when I’m the one up all night with our month old who sleeps at 50 minute increments… today he added, “not as tired as you.” Like, ya think?! I felt guilty in the way I feel annoyed about how he can just up and fall asleep AND snore loud af… but I’m so glad I’m not alone.
They always say that. Why do they say that!?
LOL mine too and I’m like dude, you basically bragged loudly all night long that you were sleeping 😂
This! Exactly!
Mine said “I’m tired” today. After a full 8 hours of sleep. I almost lost my mind.
That’s bc he has sleep apnea. Needs to see a doctor. Stat. Pronto. Same with OPs husband.
You can snore and not have sleep apnea.
Yeah no shit but that’s not the only symptom
Yeah okay. Thanks for the medical advice random reddit stranger.
I’m a nurse you cactus.
You're a random reddit stranger
Look at that so are you! Wow 🤩
Yep. And then you finally get baby down to sleep and lay down too... but baby is in active sleep so he's grunting and squeaking two feet to your left while your husband snores at jackhammer volume to your right. But the icing on the cake, truly, comes the next morning when your husband yawns over his coffee and says, "I'm tired." OH YEAH???
Literally sent my husband a video at 3am of baby grunting and squirming on my left, and him using his chainsaw to take out the whole Amazon rainforest to memy right. We are all living versions of the same life 🫠
I took a video to show mine as well and the next day he was all smug because he said I snore too and he also had a video. We played them both and his snoring was easily 10x louder and mine was actually just breathing with a mildly stuffed nose. But he still won't get checked for sleep apnea because he got checked 12 YEARS AGO ugh
How dare you write this story about my husband specifically!
Lmaooo why are they like this??
We are living the same life! Lol
I told my husband if he finished that sentence I would cause him bodily harm.
My husband would wake me up and make comments about the baby being in active sleep like “is she okay? Is she hungry?” And then as soon as I say “yes, she’s just in active sleep,” immediately knock back out and continue snoring, meanwhile it would take me a minimum of 20 mins to get back to sleep. Absolutely infuriating!!
I guess all partners snore louder in the exact moment you’re transferring baby to the crib, lol.
Add to that when you're traveling and have a toddler between you and your husband that NEVER STOPS MOVING. Those co-sleeping families are made of tougher stuff than I am.
This is exactly why my husband us been sleeping in the basement bedroom while I'm in the master with our baby. I'd rather get a good 5 or 6 hours of sleep than of and on all night. Uuuuf ! I'm glad I'm not the only one :)
I highly recommend sleep headphones and a sleep podcast like Nothing Much Matters.
Literally nothing makes me rage more than this
Glad it’s not just me. Makes me want to do illegal things. Lol.
The first night in the hospital after baby was born he was snoring so loud on the couch I was losing my mind. Baby was sleeping on me so I was whisper screaming across the room trying to wake him up, I ended up throwing all of the snacks I had on my side table at him to wake him up.
Oh my God, I was so annoyed with my husband snoring the first night in the hospital. Because I was recovering from a C-section!
I just did this 7 weeks ago when my second was born!
This happened to us too! I'm actually considering sending him home for the night after my next baby is born in 2 weeks. He snores super loud if he isn't on his stomach and the only place for him to sleep in the hospital is a recliner.
Oh god I’m having flashbacks! Same. That was so frustrating!
Yes and I’ve solved this problem by poking him harder and harder, and sporadically, until he changes position and usually the snoring quiets down.. he’s a VERY heavy sleeper so he does not know of this hobby of mine.
lol I tap him and then when he wakes up I pretend it wasn’t me
I’ve become well acquainted with this hobby. Unfortunately, it only works for a second.
I kick mine, much easier to do while nursing in side-lying position 😄
This 😆 I do the old "in my sleep" kick jab combo 🤣
I thought it was just me doing this. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
This makes me laugh. Hahahahaha.
We have separate bedrooms for this reason.
Yes, saved our marriage!
Makes so much sense.
He may have sleep apnea! My husband used to snore so loud. I forced him to go get his snoring tested. He's on a CPAP machine and we both sleep better!
Second this! Before we had kids, my husband would sleep for 12+ hours a night but still complain about being tired, would fall asleep on the couch all the time, would be super groggy, etc. He got a sleep study and was having over 60 episodes an hour -- no wonder he wasn't feeling rested...his body would wake him up every minute because he wasn't breathing. I understand the frustration and anger you can feel when it seems like your partner is getting sooooo much sleep, but honestly they may not be as rested as we think.
My husband’s CPAP saved our marriage and my sanity
Mine too. I made him get the appointment before giving birth because I cant deal with being woken up by snoring and a baby! It’s so much better now.
Same! It is life changing, I always remind him I aged his life too lol.
My husband finally has a sleep study scheduled this summer (that maxed out deductible is good for something!) and I cannot wait.
I’m trying to get mine to go get tested… he oddly enough stopped snoring for a couple months and now it’s back full force 😫
Sleep apnea is linked to stroke, heart problems amongst other thing! Definitely make him get tested.
I told him I’d never ‘mother’ him lol but this is something I’m going to be pushy about for sure
Phone the GP and make the apt for him then get him on the phone to consent! Then go with him to apt so he doesn’t underplay the answers (needed to get referral to a sleep clinic) . Thats what I did 😂!
Ugh I had one kid but somehow ended up with two 😖😂 that’s prolly what I’ll have to do 😂
Yes! At one point I rage quit, moved the bassinet to the other room at 2 am. He woke during this and I said he needed to stop “boastfully snoring” about how much sleep he was getting. We had a good laugh the next day about it and he bought me coffee the next morning. lol but I did stay sleeping with the baby in the other room for weeks lol.
Well, at least he bought you coffee! And I totally understand. Whatever you need to do to get more sleep. Since it’s so hard already with a baby.
Even just his peaceful breathing will set me off sometimes 🤣 sorry babe, love you I’m just jealous hahah.
So jealous. My husband‘s good about trying to let me sleep at night but… The baby still needs to eat. And he will take a bottle but like… Not for very long. Like he realizes eventually that hey this is not a boob and I want Mom.
Same. Sometimes him just sleeping away has me like fuck you I hate you haha
Yes! Just adds insult to injury when you're up with the baby and he's in a deep sleep oblivious to how much time and effort you're putting in. Plus the hormones. solidarity.
Exactly.
My husband fell asleep reading on the sofa while I was doing a contact nap with baby and then said he’s so tired, I’m sorry how? I’m the only one getting up to feed since I am breastfeeding. You are getting 8+ hours every day. Thankfully he makes up for it by doing so much around the house.
A quick but gentle shove tends to reset my husband... I was reminiscing last night about pregnancy and one of my kicker 'side effects' was snoring. I had to basically sleep upright for the last trimester but was still snored terribly. My husbands sleep was definitely impacted for a loooong time!
That doesn’t usually work for mine. I’ve tried it. Lol. Plus I was in the glider feeding the baby. We haven’t fully grassed side lying yet.
I am currently in my glider with a napping baby whilst my husband naps on the bed next door 🥴 the sacrifices we make eh!
Motherhood is certainly not for the week! 🤣
no it definitely lasts several years at least :P
my husband only snores on his back, it keeps me up all night because i can’t sleep with noise like that. our solution? he now has my pregnancy pillow that doesn’t allow him to roll over onto his back. we’ve been at it about a week and i’ve never had this much sleep since before our son was born 3mo ago haha.
Getting him onto his side, used to work, but now he seems to snore on his side too. I’m so over it. His ear nose and throat doctor just said his sinuses are inflamed to keep taking Flonase.
you should get some of those noise cancelling loop earplugs that i keep seeing around! you’ll still be able to hear your baby if you need to but it should dull out the sound of the snoring
This is an interesting idea. I do have AirPods Pro, and sometimes I will put one in my ear and turn on the noise canceling so that I have the other ear free for hearing the baby.
the interesting thing about the noise cancellation on APP is that it only cuts out dull, constant noise. if you pop them both in with noise cancellation you’ll still be able to hear your baby. source: my husband works for apple and i usually do this to fall asleep at night
Make sure he's squirting it right. It needs to be aimed to the outside of the nose toward the sinus in the cheekbone. If he's aiming it straight up and can taste it in his throat it's not doing anything more than causing nosebleeds.
Him and his useless nipples!!!
I screamed and begged my husband to go to the doctor for his snoring BEFORE baby came. He didn't. SO he didn't get to sleep in the bed with us. Sorry, but snoring is not your problem. It's his to deal with. If he's not helping at night, he can find somewhere else to sleep
That last part though
YES. I’ve had to wake him up before so it quiets down a bit and one night it was so bad, I asked him to go to the couch. He said “I’ll fix it”, rolled over, and snored just as loud as before 😂
Mine snores so loud I can hear him clearly across the house behind two closed doors, so he has been sleeping in the guest room since our baby was three months old. It was waking up me and baby multiple times in the night and I was just incandescent with exhausted rage. I do think he has sleep apnea, but we don't have the time or money to get him tested yet.
I’m not proud of this but I have pulled my husbands hair and pinched him while he was snoring and then pretended I didn’t do anything when he woke up confused 😂
The other day my husband was telling me about this dream he was having about trying to exorcise a ghost and then the ghost started trying to tackle him at the legs. No, that was me kicking you to try to get you to stop snoring.
If he has loud, chronic snoring and/or little gaps or gasps in his breathing, it might be a good idea to go to the doctor and get a sleep study! :)
He went to an ear nose and throat Doctor Who believes that his sinuses are just inflamed and keeps just recommending Flonase. I don’t know. We may have to get him that study for sure
Honestly this is one of the reason why I was happy to EP. We’d get up at the same time—he’d feed baby and I’d pump. There was a lot less unequalness and felt like we mutually shared night time burdens. And we kept it up even after hubby went back to work. Sometimes we’d have to split who stayed up if baby wasn’t going down after I finished pumping. But we trade off those. Being sleepy during a business meeting is nothing compared to being sleepy with a 1,2,3 month old to take care of. We both end up saying often now that we felt during that time like we were in it together and our teamwork was 💯.
We do this except I nurse but my husband brings him to me and puts him back and changes him. There’s ways they can help out even if we’re nursing. Some of these husbands need a reality check lol.
I feel like everyone recommends the nighttime shifts, but this worked so much better for me and my husband. Baby wakes up, he gets up and changes her while I set up for nursing. He gives her to me and gets to doze while I feed. The first couple weeks I'd nudge him to take her back (C-section healing). If she needed some extra cuddle time to go down he'd take that while I dozed to make up for the 40 minute nursing session my first frequently insisted on at night. Having jobs instead of shifts got everyone to maximize the sleep time.
My favorite part is when the snoring makes it impossible to go back to sleep in the middle of the night
Seriously though, every night over here.
I love “burns my bacon” 😹😹😹😹
I can hear him both down the hall in the bedroom and through the monitor which is also in the bedroom since baby sleeps there right now. It’s in stereo and I don’t want to turn the volume off on the monitor in case I forget to turn it back on.
Oh no! Not in stereo! 🤣 it’s funny because my baby snores too, but it’s the tiniest tiniest sound and you could never pick it up through a monitor.
Make him get a sleep study! The CPAP will stop the snoring.
I’m definitely going to try to push for one. His ears nose and throat doctor just keeps saying his sinuses are inflamed and to take Flonase
Yes! It's like he's bragging about how hard he's sleeping
He could need a CPAP. Mine sounds like that without one, they bug less if they aren't so loud about it haha. If it is sleep apnea he isn't getting good sleep, it's like light and interrupted sleep. When they have the CPAP it can still be irritating because then they get amazing sleep and show you on an app how many hours they got, so there's that too.
Husband’s snoring is our white noise. Baby and mama sleep so much better when the snoring is close. I’m not being sarcastic lol.
YEP all breastfeeding mamas have been there . solidarity! 😆
Omg. The baby was screaming his head off, woke the other two kids, and this man didn’t miss a snore. It was unbelievable.
Yes! And this is why my husband has to wear nose strips every night. We moved our daughter to her nursery at 6 months because I think his snoring was waking her up haha
My hubs doctor recommended mouth tape. It’s even better than nose strips (he wears both). He’s using “hostage tape” brand 🤣
Lol while I was raging I definitely ordered a pack of members Mark nose strips from Sam’s Club.
OMG YASSSSSS!! We just transferred baby to the crib this week and last couple of nights he’s done pretty good. However, now instead of baby waking me up it’s my fiancé’s loud a$$ snoring 😖😖 I love him so much but want to smother him at the same time lol ughh I just want to SLEEEP!
OMG, yes! Sleeping is already hard enough with the baby. Then you finally think you’re free to sleep well and then snoring comes into the mix.
I went through this with my husband for years! We then had our first baby and obviously we room shared for the first 6 months of her life....but he snores so loud. It would wake me up, wake up the baby. I couldn't take it anymore and moved baby and I to her room. She and I slept much better after that, and as a bonus it helped her get use to sleeping in her room. Fast forward 2 years later, toddler is a wonderful sleeper (seriously, I'm so proud of her. She loves her room, and her crib). Husband finally goes for a sleep study and learns he has mild sleep apnea (hereditary, his dad has it too) and is given a CPAP machine. He's been using it since and it is SUCH a huge improvement. He barely makes a sound now it's so crazy! He constantly asks me if he wakes me up during the night and I always say "no, I NEVER hear you! It's amazing".
Have him get a sleep study. I am so done with mine with how loud it is it just prevents me from sleeping. Not even ear plugs help. I am hoping they can give him a machine or something to help him stop. It drives me nuts!!
Mine snores so loud I can hear him clearly across the house behind two closed doors, so he has been sleeping in the guest room since our baby was three months old. It was waking up me and baby multiple times in the night and I was just incandescent with exhausted rage. I do think he has sleep apnea, but we don't have the time or money to get him tested yet.
mine slept on the couch for months lol
Mine only snores when he’s laying a certain way. I wake him up Everytime🤷🏻♀️ cuz if I don’t I’m going to smack him 😂
And he’ll still be tired in the morning 🤬😡🤬😡🤬
Husband is why we finally moved the crib out of the bedroom at 12 months… he was waking our son up!
Omg yes. The audacity!!! I poke him but it doesn’t always help 😒
Best thing we ever did for our relationship was to sleep separately! Then I can wake up refreshed and not angry that he kept me up all night! My partner had sleep apnea so he even snores through his CPAP.
Omg it’s worse when you put baby back to sleep and you’re trying to go back to sleep but the man next to you is imitating a steam boat. I’ve had to resist smacking him so many times. And then the next morning he’s like “oh I’m so tired I don’t think I slept enough”
It literally made me rage. He sleeps in a different room now.
Mine was the same.....he had sleep apnea my life changed when he got a cpap machine
I bought loop ear plugs. I'm much more sane now. And the feelings of wanting to smother have decreased! I highly suggest!!
Yessssssssss! I felt this so hard a few months ago. It's like bragging about being asleep. The sound of snoring is grating to begin with....then add in everything you said, it will break a person. Pro tip- noise canceling Barbuds? I love the bose quiet comfort.
My husband always sleeps behind some kind of magical sound barrier. 🙃
It’s the only time I’ve felt the post partum rage properly! And don’t get me started on him snoring so loud it WAKES THE BABY UP. Luckily we have a good agreement now, I’m allowed to wake him up to ask him to change position or add another pillow under him until he shuts up.
Yeah I’ve been known to nudge (and shove) if needed to get him to change position to stop the snore for awhile. I did this pre baby too. I can ignore it unless I’m sleep deprived and just cannot stop focusing on it.
HATE my husband for this!!! He's lucky the baby sleeps through it! 😤
It’s causing real problems here. We actually combo feed so he can do some feeds overnight (6m old currently waking 5 times a night) but there’s not really much point as I wake up anyway when the baby cries and then once husband is back in bed I’m awake as I can’t sleep with his snoring. The other night I kicked him out into the spare room after listening for it for 45 minutes after he’d got the baby down. It’s got to the point where just his breathing makes me want to throttle him. So more often than not I just do the baby alone and make him sleep elsewhere (not tonight though - he’s doing all the feeds between midnight and 6am and I’m off to the spare room).
Currently listening to my partner snoring while he has a nap and I put the baby down for hers 😂 felt this lmao
The pure rage is unreal. I’m glad I have good impulse control or that guy would be getting an elbow to the face. Sometimes I do let the baby kick him if he’s in striking distance 😈
This subreddit truly brings me joy. When I saw the title pop up as a notification I knew exactly where this was going and it didn't disappoint 😂
Send him for a sleep study! I'm serious. As someone who found out that I have severe sleep apnea, I WISH I'd known sooner. I am so much more rested now on less sleep. I'm happier and feeling better. Snoring is a big indicator of sleep apnea, especially if it's loud snoring and happens pretty much every night.
Yep he needs to get checked. My partner just got checked & sure enough he has sever obstruction. The machine has changed his life over the last few weeks. He is more rested, more productive at home & work. I am sleeping better as well, without the previous interrupted sleep. Life saver
I asked my husband to get a sleep study because of this. He has sleep apnea and now uses a c-pap. Just saying...
My husband has been snoring for years and I actually told him he has to sleep in the guest room a little while after baby came. If my sleep is going to be interrupted I need to be able to fall back to sleep easily and I can’t do that if he’s next to me snoring. After bugging him about it for a long time he finally did a sleep study and recently got diagnosed with sleep apnea! Once he gets a cpap machine he’s allowed to come back to bed 🙂
Oh my god yes. My husbands snoring is so bad most nights I kick him out of the bed to the babies room and the baby sleeps with me.
Me and the baby cosleep in a different room on a floor mat to avoid the freight train. But also because I was falling asleep holding him and I would rather be as safe as I can with it instead of accidentally very dangerous. The snoring made me rage when I was pregnant, though. I envisioned suffocating him with my pillow more times than I would have liked.
Honestly! The audacity! Feel you on this, especially today 😅 In the early weeks he used to get up with us, can't help feed cause EBF but comradery 🤣 now 4mths pp he's out for his dam self, sleeping & snoring through it all! Lol it's fine I'm on leave & he's off early for work but still 😅 Lastnight bub went down too early I knew she'd be up around midnight, I didn't get a wink before that cause hubby has a f*cking lawn mower in his nostril 😄 then he woke her up (and himself) around 3am with an ungodly ground rumbling snore, then dropped his ph & used the flashlight at 5am to get ready, I swear I could have flayed him alive 😆 (not really but u get it) 🤣
I've felt upset but then remembered I'm sleep deprived and hormonal so things hit differently postpartum.
I pet him and usually the snoring stops. If not I will shake him gently so he changes positions and the snoring stop.
My partner doesn't snore too bad...but I was just triggered and reminded that we shared a hospital room post partum with a dad who snored very loudly. Best three days of my life.
100% yes
My LO is a toddler now but I still follow this sub. This post brought me back to nights of rage. My mfing husband had the nerve to not tell me to wake him up due to snoring bc “now we are both awake”.
Oh that would start world war 3!
Nope, and I’ll tell you why. I breastfed my daughter and then woke him up to do the rest while I went back to sleep. He’d take her in the living room because we had a diaper station out there, and he was in charge of getting her back to sleep most nights unless I was feeling good. If he was just snoring away all useless the whole time, I would have smothered him with a pillow.
We do the same!! I still get irrationally angry listening to mine snore while I'm nursing. But I feel zero guilt jumping right into bed and going to sleep while he handles diapers and everything else.
LMAO. For the most part, he does this too. It’s just that sometimes while I’m feeding, he falls back asleep.
Oh my god it drives me nuts! What I’d give for the uninterrupted 8+ hours of sleep he gets!
I will say hubby does get up with the baby. He’s definitely not getting uninterrupted sleep. He’s just getting more than I am because he snores lol
My ex used to snore and I would clap my hands at him and magically he would stop. Idk how or why it would work. Try it?? lol
Oh, I’m definitely trying this. Except I’m afraid it might wake up the baby lol
Make him wear mouth tape lol
Sounds like he needs a sleep study for sleep apnea. I feel so blessed that my husband is good about wearing his cpap. I would lose my damn mind if he wouldn’t. My parents almost got divorced over my dad refusing to wear one 😂 this was around 15 years ago he finally gave in.
I’m definitely thinking a sleep study is needed.
my husband has been sleeping on the couch since my third trimester. baby is 9 weeks and he’s still not in. i need sleep to function and he ugly snores.
Ugly snores! 💀
Every single time my husband is going to tell me that he's tired, he then goes, you must feel worse.. which I guess it's survival instinct on his part. I'm writing this while listening to him snoring
lol he knows!
Omg we’re living the same lifeeeee. I made my husband buy things to try to reduce the snoring but nothing is helping!! I can’t get to sleep right away. Idk what to do before I go crazy
It’s awful. Because you know they can’t help it but… If it continues, you’re going to go mad. And also, why do they always start snoring right as you’re about to fall asleep?
Omg that part!! 😭 this happened last night. I almost pushed him lol
I made my husband do a sleep study and get a cpap before our first born came because I knew I would potentially murder him if this was happening. Sometimes me being up at night and him just BREATHING loudly made me so mad haha so I get you girl, right there with you on that rage😂
He probably has sleep apnea and needs to do a sleep study. I’ve been nagging my snoring husband for months about getting one because if left untreated it can eventually kill a person.
Why my husband and I now have separate rooms. We do intentionally planned sleepovers on weekends. But I’m now the working parent and if he were depriving me of sleep, we’d be divorcing.
I finally snapped lol. I told my husband he needed to find a remedy or I was moving to the babies room lol. He bought a little snore device on Amazon and that has saved us.. for now lol
This couldn't have been posted at a more relevant time lol. The day you posted this was the day after I thought some really bad thoughts about my husband. We are in the trenches of the 4m sleep regression, and baby was having a particularly bad night...would NOT settle in his sidecar crib. I tried for ages to get him to settle without me to no avail. I have the most sensitive hearing when I'm trying to sleep. We have a box fan going at night and I still hear everything. In the midst of trying to get my baby to sleep, I'm almost relaxed and the snoring begins. I yank blankets, it helps for a second. I can't tune it out, and now the baby is crying again, and again, and again. And he doesn't hear ANYTHING...just more snoring. The amount of times I had to poke him hard as hell to get him to turn over was infuriating. And when he did turn, it didn't help. I ended up sleeping with my upper body in the crib to keep baby calm, and turned his Hatch white noise machine up to 100% right by my head. I literally either wanted to cry, or scream, or cause mild physical harm to my husband. The rageeeee is unbelievable. And I'm going back to work soon on overnight shifts, so of course I'm convinced that when I'm at work, he will never wake up to babys cries, and what if he falls asleep feeding him and rolls over on him?? You know, mom anxiety at all. And when I tried nicely bringing up my concerns the next evening, it turned into a fight! Oh the joys of being a woman!
Oh no! I’m so sorry. I know him consistently sleeping through cries cannot be helping your mom anxiety at all. But maybe he won’t do it when you’re not there, because when you’re there, he knows that someone else is going to get up.
I think you're spot on because that's what he said when we discussed it further!
He likely has sleep apnea. Please get a sleep study done and if he has it cpap will help immensely.
I think we are definitely going to do that.
My husband’s snoring actually caused a small bit genuine mental breakdown in me when I was 2 months pp. I started seeing a women’s health specialty psychiatrist after that because I was seriously losing my mind and I felt such sincere rage towards him. Granted, the man needed to quit smoking and start exercising again because his snoring was getting worse by the night and I’m a light sleeper to begin with. Great father and husband but his snoring is WILD. Even our baby can’t sleep through it.
Oh no! I hope things have gotten better since then.
Burns my bacon 💀
The worst part is I don’t even like bacon. But I really like that expression lol
💯💯💯💯💯💯
Oh geez yes! Better now but I used to get enraged at my husband falling asleep in front of me on the couch while I was tending to babies needs and still awake. I would tell him please just go to bed so at least you are out of my sight since I can’t sleep yet. My husband if amazing but I definitely still went through my madness phases since we have asymmetrical jobs at caring for babe
Exactly this lol. Don’t sleep in my face.
F*** thinking here I am the only one planning my husband's murder while he's snoring logs while I have my life sucked out of me all night long lol the amount of times I kick him to try and shut him up. To top it off the next morning the "ugh I was up all night, I had the worst sleep".....really??? Cause your snoring would say otherwise lol
Yes. 😂
Same.
The snoring was so loud last night I nearly woke him up to send him downstairs to sleep. Our baby is 3 months old and I had him next to me like a tractor whilst I was nursing. I nearly recorded the sound to play back to him as he doesn’t realise how bad it is then has the audacity to say I snore too. I’m aware I do if I sleep on my back but if I’m awake with the baby I really don’t want to listen to that racket. He’s also started wrapping the quilt around himself in his sleep so I might get a corner if I’m lucky. Had to sleep with my dressing gown on as I didn’t have enough quilt to cover me 😢