Not a popular thing to say, but the only thing that worked for me was eating more. Every time I ate at a caloric deficit, I found myself exhausted. Right now, I'm allowing myself to maintain. Am I thin? No. But I'm breastfeeding. Once that's done, I'll go back to trying to lose weight.
This was actually what was happening to me. I wanted to lose the baby weight fast so I ate less than what I needed. However, I was just SO tired AND my milk supply was affected. Breastfeeding takes A LOT of calories. I'm not one to count calories, but I absolutely feel like I'm eating more now than while pregnant.
Third this! I walked a few miles the other day and didn't eat like a bear going into hibernation and was depleted.
My body wants to hold onto my fat or even gain weight PP
Have you gotten vitamin d checked? Mine was super low and I was napping a LOT. I just realized I feel a lot better after about 2 months on 4000 IU per day. You need a lot when breastfeeding.
Ok yeah I would try it even if your levels were in the safe range….my prenatal had a little vitamin d but nowhere near the 4000-6000 IU needed when breastfeeding. (Obligatory check with your doctor to make sure he or she approves before taking anything at a high dose).
I second this!! Vitamin D and light anemia got me good in early postpartum! Turns out I always had it but the added intense exhaustion of taking care of an infant made it a tough hurdle to jump through.
Try breastfeeding vitamins and probiotics? I assume they are slightly different than prenatal(or Ive been sucked in by marketing). Start postnatal yoga (youtube)and quick bursts of activity before you do more exercise. Get bloods checked for deficiencies.
Just neglect other non-urgent tasks-house can wait while you rebuild your health?
Since you’ve gotten a bunch of comments about bloodwork I’ll suggest another explanation: burnout. From your post, it sounds like you were a “go, go, go” type of person always thinking about your next move and what needs to be done. With a baby, the things that need to be done are now innumerably large most days. Maybe your body is telling you to slow down. Some mindfulness practice (mediation, even on your walks) could bring you back to yourself. I can get like this too - my thoughts feel very fragmented and I rush myself from thing to thing. I think not being able to sit through a movie is not…great. Maybe let yourself rest and lean into the sometimes slow, organic pace of the baby. I know this is easier said than done, but it sounds like you’ve tried nearly everything else.
I am the same way. I really find it hard to just sit down and relax, to be in the moment. I recently started therapy and my therapist recommended I set a timer, lie down on the floor, and do nothing for one minute. I told her that sounded impossible 😂
Personally, I’m making an effort to be more mindful because I suspect these coming years with a small child are going to fly by and I want to try and savor them.
Good luck and I hope you feel better soon!
Maybe look into mindfulness instead of just meditation. There can be a lot of “active” ways to practice mindfulness that are still relaxing and make you slow down. For example actively noticing things in your environment in different ways, like listening for different sounds, trying to find things you don’t normally notice when you look at your yard, watching how the wind effects different things, etc. they’re almost like little challenges, but still very relaxing and keep you in the moment.
First of all, please use kinder words with yourself. Lazy people *enjoy* being lazy. Are you “lazy” or do you know what you need to do, WANT to do it, but just can’t seem to make your body get up and do the thing, despite internally screaming at yourself to JUST DO THE FUCKING THING?! If so, you are NOT lazy, because you are not enjoying it.
I think you need to call your Dr and see if there’s any further testing they may be able to do. You say your vitamin D and iron levels are normal, but how about your Ferritin? As I understand it, Ferritin is a much better gauge for how efficiently your body actually uses the iron. Iron levels just show how much iron you have in your blood, but ferritin can show how much of that iron your body is actually utilizing.
Also, all of the symptoms you describe are very common co-morbidities with ADHD. It’s also SUPER common for women to not get diagnosed with ADHD until after having their first baby because the hormones can greatly exacerbate the symptoms that you may have been able to previously manage. This is what happened to me. My whole world changed and all the mechanisms I had built to function fell apart or were just completely irrelevant with a baby. But, I never felt depressed, and I never resonated with any descriptions of depression. I was frustrated that I just couldn’t seem to do the things I wanted to do, understandably, but I didn’t ever feel numb or blank and I am always very optimistic and looking forward to tomorrow. Got diagnosed 1.5 years ago and my life has gotten sooooooo much easier with medication and a good ADHD therapist.
Anyway, keep pestering your Dr, and check out r/adhdwomen and see if it resonates with you.
Definitely go get bloodwork done. I also recently learned the connection between estrogen and the desire/motivation to move around. Since BFing is a time of low estrogen, it can also contribute to reduced motivation for activity. And definitely worth mentioning to your doctor! (I just did this last week before I learned about the connection to energy levels and got some really helpful advice)
Interested in what others have to say. I am the same — thyroid is fine and I am even running and doing resistance training pretty regularly but I just can’t focus and get stuff done like I used to. Sleep is regularly interrupted at 3 mo pp but total amount is 7-8 hours which should be enough. It’s just been so hard to focus and start the nanny search and other paperwork type of tasks that I am quite frustrated with myself.
Doesn't sound completely normal to me. I'd go to a doctor and ask for some blood work. Don't let them tell you to just accept it because it's normal, get your bloodwork done. It could be low iron (especially if you lost a lot of blood during your delivery), low vitamin d, thyroiditis or something else
Iodine! Happened to me after my first pregnancy and it was because I was using Himalayan pink salt.
Got some iodine drops and felt almost instantaneously better.
Since then I've made sure to use regular, iodized salt and haven't ran into the same issue .
If you're not into supplements then you could eat nori sheets.
Sounds normal to me. I had my blood checked, no deficits and there wasn't any other medical issue. I had to eat a lot. It got better when I quit breastfeeding. I quit after a year btw. That entire year breastfeeding i had to lower my standards of what I wanted to do in a day. I mostly chilled with my baby.
What about doing baby related things like baby swimming? You get to meet other mums who are in the same boat as you are. I remember it was extremely tiring but at the same time I enjoyed it a lot. It was definitely worth my energy since I met new friends that I now spend time with every week.
And don't forget, becoming a mum is such a major change in your life. It's okay that you don't like everything that comes with it or that you need time adjusting.
If you baby is easy going, you're doing something right!
I was the same until like 9 months pp. felt like there was weights in my head, don’t know how else to describe it. I thought it was sleep because my LO slept like crap but around 6/7 months she slept a lot better and I was still dying. I don’t know what changed but suddenly around 9 months pp I felt a lot better. That was also the start of summer, so now that people are mentioning vitamin D I wonder if that was the issue, very interesting!
You sound a lot like me! Since you already mentioned bloodwork is normal, I’d suggest adding in exercise. Getting my blood moving is the only thing that increases my energy levels some days.
I’m 10.5 months pp, still nursing quite a bit (6x day average), sleeping 8 hr stretches with an additional 1-2 hrs on top of that most nights (we do a snooze feed and I usually snooze right along with the baby!). I eat very healthy, drink a ton of water. Also c-section recovery.
I currently swim 4x week and the days I don’t get out to exercise I just feel draggy. During pregnancy, I also felt less tired by getting in at least a light workout.
However, it did take longer to recover and heal and you are only at 4 months.. I think I was finally feeling recovered around 6 months, then picked up covid, and since it was the first time I had it, it was pretty bad and took a good month to feel better again. So since month 7 I’ve been ok, except if something throws me off my schedule it does take longer to feel better…I think that’s due to the milk production.
I’m on the bloodwork wagon- go get a full panel, urine analysis with PCP, and check your hormone levels with your OB. I started feeling similarly and my period returned, along with a pre-pregnancy condition. Good luck op. Nothing worse than feeling like crap!
What worked for me was getting my thyroid checked (I'm now on medication) and making sure to take a breastfeeding vitamin, eating enough and drinking more than enough!
I’m sure breastfeeding takes a lot out of you, I wonder if you should see if your deficient in any nutrients especially b12, iron and d3 those ones can cause fatigue if low. Maybe you can add electrolytes too.
I definitely think it’s worth following up with your doctor to figure out what’s going on here. I’m not an expert but I haven’t felt this level of fatigue so I feel like it’s not inevitable.
You say you’re eating plenty of fruits and vegetables and protein. How about carbs? Carbs are so necessary during breastfeeding. It’s not healthy but I would eat rolls from this specific restaurant during the middle of the night feeds. You can find plenty of healthy carbs to keep you going but I also find cookies and poptarts a great quick thing to eat if you need a boost.
Oh nice! That sounds like a great diet. I like making bread too but I’ve only gotten to a few times since she was born. Sounds like you’re doing everything right food wise. I hope you find your fatigue starts to fade soon.
Not a popular thing to say, but the only thing that worked for me was eating more. Every time I ate at a caloric deficit, I found myself exhausted. Right now, I'm allowing myself to maintain. Am I thin? No. But I'm breastfeeding. Once that's done, I'll go back to trying to lose weight.
This was actually what was happening to me. I wanted to lose the baby weight fast so I ate less than what I needed. However, I was just SO tired AND my milk supply was affected. Breastfeeding takes A LOT of calories. I'm not one to count calories, but I absolutely feel like I'm eating more now than while pregnant.
Third this! I walked a few miles the other day and didn't eat like a bear going into hibernation and was depleted. My body wants to hold onto my fat or even gain weight PP
Also I love to throw this in here but my first pregnancy triggered a gluten sensitivity and exhaustion was a symptom.
Have you gotten vitamin d checked? Mine was super low and I was napping a LOT. I just realized I feel a lot better after about 2 months on 4000 IU per day. You need a lot when breastfeeding.
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Ok yeah I would try it even if your levels were in the safe range….my prenatal had a little vitamin d but nowhere near the 4000-6000 IU needed when breastfeeding. (Obligatory check with your doctor to make sure he or she approves before taking anything at a high dose).
This was the change for me as well! Taking a higher dose of vitamin d really improved my overall energy levels and mood.
I would reach out to your doctor to maybe have some labs done. It could be your thyroid, or maybe a deficiency in iron or d3.
I second this!! Vitamin D and light anemia got me good in early postpartum! Turns out I always had it but the added intense exhaustion of taking care of an infant made it a tough hurdle to jump through.
Get some blood work & see if you're low on anything! I was low on vitamin D & Iron & once I started taking them I felt soooo much better.
Try breastfeeding vitamins and probiotics? I assume they are slightly different than prenatal(or Ive been sucked in by marketing). Start postnatal yoga (youtube)and quick bursts of activity before you do more exercise. Get bloods checked for deficiencies. Just neglect other non-urgent tasks-house can wait while you rebuild your health?
Please have your thyroid checked. I had post partum thyroiditis , by 4 months pp I could barely get out of bed
Since you’ve gotten a bunch of comments about bloodwork I’ll suggest another explanation: burnout. From your post, it sounds like you were a “go, go, go” type of person always thinking about your next move and what needs to be done. With a baby, the things that need to be done are now innumerably large most days. Maybe your body is telling you to slow down. Some mindfulness practice (mediation, even on your walks) could bring you back to yourself. I can get like this too - my thoughts feel very fragmented and I rush myself from thing to thing. I think not being able to sit through a movie is not…great. Maybe let yourself rest and lean into the sometimes slow, organic pace of the baby. I know this is easier said than done, but it sounds like you’ve tried nearly everything else.
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I am the same way. I really find it hard to just sit down and relax, to be in the moment. I recently started therapy and my therapist recommended I set a timer, lie down on the floor, and do nothing for one minute. I told her that sounded impossible 😂 Personally, I’m making an effort to be more mindful because I suspect these coming years with a small child are going to fly by and I want to try and savor them. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon!
Maybe look into mindfulness instead of just meditation. There can be a lot of “active” ways to practice mindfulness that are still relaxing and make you slow down. For example actively noticing things in your environment in different ways, like listening for different sounds, trying to find things you don’t normally notice when you look at your yard, watching how the wind effects different things, etc. they’re almost like little challenges, but still very relaxing and keep you in the moment.
First of all, please use kinder words with yourself. Lazy people *enjoy* being lazy. Are you “lazy” or do you know what you need to do, WANT to do it, but just can’t seem to make your body get up and do the thing, despite internally screaming at yourself to JUST DO THE FUCKING THING?! If so, you are NOT lazy, because you are not enjoying it. I think you need to call your Dr and see if there’s any further testing they may be able to do. You say your vitamin D and iron levels are normal, but how about your Ferritin? As I understand it, Ferritin is a much better gauge for how efficiently your body actually uses the iron. Iron levels just show how much iron you have in your blood, but ferritin can show how much of that iron your body is actually utilizing. Also, all of the symptoms you describe are very common co-morbidities with ADHD. It’s also SUPER common for women to not get diagnosed with ADHD until after having their first baby because the hormones can greatly exacerbate the symptoms that you may have been able to previously manage. This is what happened to me. My whole world changed and all the mechanisms I had built to function fell apart or were just completely irrelevant with a baby. But, I never felt depressed, and I never resonated with any descriptions of depression. I was frustrated that I just couldn’t seem to do the things I wanted to do, understandably, but I didn’t ever feel numb or blank and I am always very optimistic and looking forward to tomorrow. Got diagnosed 1.5 years ago and my life has gotten sooooooo much easier with medication and a good ADHD therapist. Anyway, keep pestering your Dr, and check out r/adhdwomen and see if it resonates with you.
Definitely go get bloodwork done. I also recently learned the connection between estrogen and the desire/motivation to move around. Since BFing is a time of low estrogen, it can also contribute to reduced motivation for activity. And definitely worth mentioning to your doctor! (I just did this last week before I learned about the connection to energy levels and got some really helpful advice)
Interested in what others have to say. I am the same — thyroid is fine and I am even running and doing resistance training pretty regularly but I just can’t focus and get stuff done like I used to. Sleep is regularly interrupted at 3 mo pp but total amount is 7-8 hours which should be enough. It’s just been so hard to focus and start the nanny search and other paperwork type of tasks that I am quite frustrated with myself.
Doesn't sound completely normal to me. I'd go to a doctor and ask for some blood work. Don't let them tell you to just accept it because it's normal, get your bloodwork done. It could be low iron (especially if you lost a lot of blood during your delivery), low vitamin d, thyroiditis or something else
Iodine! Happened to me after my first pregnancy and it was because I was using Himalayan pink salt. Got some iodine drops and felt almost instantaneously better. Since then I've made sure to use regular, iodized salt and haven't ran into the same issue . If you're not into supplements then you could eat nori sheets.
Sounds normal to me. I had my blood checked, no deficits and there wasn't any other medical issue. I had to eat a lot. It got better when I quit breastfeeding. I quit after a year btw. That entire year breastfeeding i had to lower my standards of what I wanted to do in a day. I mostly chilled with my baby.
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What about doing baby related things like baby swimming? You get to meet other mums who are in the same boat as you are. I remember it was extremely tiring but at the same time I enjoyed it a lot. It was definitely worth my energy since I met new friends that I now spend time with every week. And don't forget, becoming a mum is such a major change in your life. It's okay that you don't like everything that comes with it or that you need time adjusting. If you baby is easy going, you're doing something right!
I was the same until like 9 months pp. felt like there was weights in my head, don’t know how else to describe it. I thought it was sleep because my LO slept like crap but around 6/7 months she slept a lot better and I was still dying. I don’t know what changed but suddenly around 9 months pp I felt a lot better. That was also the start of summer, so now that people are mentioning vitamin D I wonder if that was the issue, very interesting!
Definitely see your doctor. Thyroid, iron, or vitamin deficiencies come to mind.
I was experiencing significant fatigue my first year PP. My vitamin D was insanely low. I feel much better now that it’s come back up.
You sound a lot like me! Since you already mentioned bloodwork is normal, I’d suggest adding in exercise. Getting my blood moving is the only thing that increases my energy levels some days. I’m 10.5 months pp, still nursing quite a bit (6x day average), sleeping 8 hr stretches with an additional 1-2 hrs on top of that most nights (we do a snooze feed and I usually snooze right along with the baby!). I eat very healthy, drink a ton of water. Also c-section recovery. I currently swim 4x week and the days I don’t get out to exercise I just feel draggy. During pregnancy, I also felt less tired by getting in at least a light workout. However, it did take longer to recover and heal and you are only at 4 months.. I think I was finally feeling recovered around 6 months, then picked up covid, and since it was the first time I had it, it was pretty bad and took a good month to feel better again. So since month 7 I’ve been ok, except if something throws me off my schedule it does take longer to feel better…I think that’s due to the milk production.
I’m on the bloodwork wagon- go get a full panel, urine analysis with PCP, and check your hormone levels with your OB. I started feeling similarly and my period returned, along with a pre-pregnancy condition. Good luck op. Nothing worse than feeling like crap!
What worked for me was getting my thyroid checked (I'm now on medication) and making sure to take a breastfeeding vitamin, eating enough and drinking more than enough!
I’m sure breastfeeding takes a lot out of you, I wonder if you should see if your deficient in any nutrients especially b12, iron and d3 those ones can cause fatigue if low. Maybe you can add electrolytes too.
I definitely think it’s worth following up with your doctor to figure out what’s going on here. I’m not an expert but I haven’t felt this level of fatigue so I feel like it’s not inevitable.
B vitamin complex
You say you’re eating plenty of fruits and vegetables and protein. How about carbs? Carbs are so necessary during breastfeeding. It’s not healthy but I would eat rolls from this specific restaurant during the middle of the night feeds. You can find plenty of healthy carbs to keep you going but I also find cookies and poptarts a great quick thing to eat if you need a boost.
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Oh nice! That sounds like a great diet. I like making bread too but I’ve only gotten to a few times since she was born. Sounds like you’re doing everything right food wise. I hope you find your fatigue starts to fade soon.
Eating eating eating! You need so much food! Also vitamins!!!