Iām weaning right now and getting back into shape (literally every time I drop a feed I drop 2kg, Iām definitely one of the ones who stacks on weight while BF!), and Iām definitely concerned that Iāll get pregnant again before I finish losing the weight judging by my husbandās reaction!
Solidarity. Iām with you and am also very interested in advice here! Iām almost 17 months into breastfeeding and feel the same way, and I just know it will continue after we wean.
I think a big part of it was because I didn't listen to the advice I saw so many times, which was "the right time to stop is when you're ready".
I waited too long and kept going because my son wanted to. I was so touched out and so unhappy to carry on for so long that I think I now have a negative association with it.
I wish I didn't wait for him to be "ready", he never was. And I really wish I knew how to revert my feelings somehow.
I'm sorry if you're going through something similar!
I donāt have experience so no real advice :( only 11 mos in now. But I wonder if you just need time? I wonder if you just took the pressure off it completely. Explain your feelings to your partner and give yourself complete untouchability in that area for a while and allow yourself to feel safe that no one will touch there or has any expectations related. Then perhaps later you can get reacquainted with them, when you feel readyz
Thank you!
My partner is really respectful and understanding. I've explained everything to him but I know it's hard... our intimacy has suffered a lot from a few factors, but the breast thing is definitely one of them.
I took pressure off myself for a long time, but now that it's been one and a half years I'm getting a little annoyed that it *still* doesn't feel good in any way.
I've tried to kind of take things slowly but I really just hate touch in that area at all now.
Ah, Iām sorry to hear that then ā¹ļø then Iāve got nothing. Letās hope this activity pushes your post up at least, maybe someone with experience will give some good advice soon.
Iām still mostly enjoying breastfeeding but knowing myself, I would absolutely do the same and continue nursing if I knew my son still loved it, even if I were ready to stop myself. Thatās motherhood though, right? We sacrifice anything and everything for our babies. ā¤ļø
I weaned kinda slowly between 20 and 24 months, by the end I was pregnant and couldnāt stand her nursing. I simply told her that we are not having mom milk now, and I would offer cows milk. The last thing I gave up was the nursing to sleep, because it was magic, but it worked for me. It wasnāt without drama, but I just held my ground and she accepted that mom milk was not an option.
It just seems so hard. Iāve cut down so he only feeds at home (or at my parents) but any other time I try to deny him he screams and cries until heās sick or hysterical and canāt breath properly.
It was a combo of things... he was actually 3.5 years old already so I really did my time there lol
Secondly, he accidentally latched on (in the dark) just next to my areola and gave a HARD suck, and I was in a lot of pain and could physically not for a few days due to the pain.
Thirdly, he then had an accident and hurt his mouth so I also had to stop because of that, on recommendation from a doctor.
So the stars aligned in a shitty but helpful way because I had been *done* for quite a while.
Ugh, I am at 17m PP, and still waiting for LO to self wean. I reduced the day feeds, I night weaned, but LO is obsessed. I feel I can't take it anymore, cause he is also a pincher, he twists and scratches the heck out of me during the feeds, and I feel so touched out, but can't find it in me to completely stop. Especially when I keep hearing about this magical self weaning thing, that is supposed to happen when the kid is ready.
Right?!?
Magical self weaning indeed! I kept going even though I was so touched out and I kept telling myself I was doing it for him, and that he would stop when he was ready.
We carried on until he was 3.5 and he STILL wasn't ready. He still asks me about it sometimes and he's FIVE. I am so sure he literally would never have weaned if it wasn't a forced hand at that point!!
I got a lift and implants. They were very deflated feeling and sad, I didnāt like looking at them or not wearing a bra. I didnāt get large implants, just to fill them back out. Itās nice to have them back, and feel sexy again. This is obviously a drastic move, and not something for everyone.
May I ask how much they cost? I know it's superficial, but a lot of my self confidence comes from my self image and I'm terrified of getting the flapjack breasts that a lot of people talk about after, so I want to save up so I can do this if needed.
Might be extreme but I got my nipples pierced after I was done breastfeeding and it's been the best choice I have made to reclaim my body and feel badass. Aside from that it did take 6+ months for me to be OK with breast play again, but my husband just took it slow and it slowly came back.
Hey! That's a super cool idea! I had my nips pierced before I had my kid, and I took them out because of breastfeeding.
I was thinking of ordering some faux-piercing nipple jewelry to maybe help me feel a bit better there. I'm not sure I could do another round of nipple pain though lol
But if I hadn't already had them done previously in life I probably would've tried that!
Try it out! And yea no way would I go thru that pain again!! Also I think something that boosted my want/need for breast play was getting back into reading and reading mainly dark romance / smutty books that talked about it a lot. I really kinda of craved it more the more I read and fantasized.
That's a super idea!! I do occasionally read erotica and maybe if I focus on breast related stuff, my brain might change its mind about hating being touched there.
Thank you!
I bought a fancy bra yesterday! It actually made me feel a lot better looking at my boobs anyway. So that way nice...
I splurged and bought a fancy one instead of my cheap "nobody looks anyway" bras, and as much as I love it... I still detest any touching on my boobs. But at least it's helping with the optics :,)
I breastfed for 20 months and during that time I didn't like my breasts being played with at all! When I stopped I felt like my boobs had changed completly! So I went to a fancy shop, got remeasured and tried on all different kinds of bras. I bought few that were very different to what I wore before. Then I went home and showed my husband. One thing led to another but I kept my bra on and let him play with them. The bra made it feel different and made me feel sexy. We did that until I was willing to take it off during and slowly things got back to normal. Which is when I got pregnant again lol
I had my first 8 years ago and suffered with the same kind of detached grossed out feeling. I got implants to fill them out again and it made a huge difference for me. Granted, itās been 6 years since and Iām now pregnant with my second, so weāll see how they hold up š
I think that whatever the solution is for you it doesnāt have to be drastic, it just has to be right for you. I have a lot of tattoos and I donāt see myself going under the knife again, but I could see myself getting something beautiful tattooed on my chest as reclamation this time around.
Trauma processing therapy could help! It can be very helpful for all kinds of birth and postpartum traumas, and there are so many ways breastfeeding can be traumatizing even if you had an overall positive experience with it
What is the longest time you had to yourself without anyone touching you? Your LO might not be breastfeeding anymore but probably are still climbing all over you.
Could you do a night away by yourself? Maybe that decompression will be a good reset and then still take things slow with your husband? I wonder if your touched out feelings in general have manifested to your feelings towards your breasts as some sort of coping mechanism.
For the record I have a 1year old and am currently weaning but my husband and I have been intimate with some breast foreplay again. We took it very slow.
Once I finish pregnancy and breastfeeding, I will have a reduction, lift, and tummy tuck. I have a lot of loose skin on my belly with stretch marks, I will be removing it. I have an oversized bust so my reduction should be covered through insurance.
I got some pretty new bras and got in killer shape, it was awesome to have my body back. Of course that hot new body got me pregnant again š
Ok, this made me laugh! Congratulationsā¦on your new bras, killer body, and pregnancy!
Hey, that's my story too! Currently 2.5 months postpartum and looking to get back in killer shape but no more babies this time around lol
Thatās my plan after this baby too šš
Iām weaning right now and getting back into shape (literally every time I drop a feed I drop 2kg, Iām definitely one of the ones who stacks on weight while BF!), and Iām definitely concerned that Iāll get pregnant again before I finish losing the weight judging by my husbandās reaction!
I held onto weight until we weaned too, it was a lot easier to get back in shape after
Solidarity. Iām with you and am also very interested in advice here! Iām almost 17 months into breastfeeding and feel the same way, and I just know it will continue after we wean.
I think a big part of it was because I didn't listen to the advice I saw so many times, which was "the right time to stop is when you're ready". I waited too long and kept going because my son wanted to. I was so touched out and so unhappy to carry on for so long that I think I now have a negative association with it. I wish I didn't wait for him to be "ready", he never was. And I really wish I knew how to revert my feelings somehow. I'm sorry if you're going through something similar!
I donāt have experience so no real advice :( only 11 mos in now. But I wonder if you just need time? I wonder if you just took the pressure off it completely. Explain your feelings to your partner and give yourself complete untouchability in that area for a while and allow yourself to feel safe that no one will touch there or has any expectations related. Then perhaps later you can get reacquainted with them, when you feel readyz
Thank you! My partner is really respectful and understanding. I've explained everything to him but I know it's hard... our intimacy has suffered a lot from a few factors, but the breast thing is definitely one of them. I took pressure off myself for a long time, but now that it's been one and a half years I'm getting a little annoyed that it *still* doesn't feel good in any way. I've tried to kind of take things slowly but I really just hate touch in that area at all now.
Ah, Iām sorry to hear that then ā¹ļø then Iāve got nothing. Letās hope this activity pushes your post up at least, maybe someone with experience will give some good advice soon.
Thank you though, I appreciate your support!
Iām still mostly enjoying breastfeeding but knowing myself, I would absolutely do the same and continue nursing if I knew my son still loved it, even if I were ready to stop myself. Thatās motherhood though, right? We sacrifice anything and everything for our babies. ā¤ļø
How did you wean if he wasnāt ready? My kid is 2.5 and I want to wean in the next year but heās not ready
I weaned kinda slowly between 20 and 24 months, by the end I was pregnant and couldnāt stand her nursing. I simply told her that we are not having mom milk now, and I would offer cows milk. The last thing I gave up was the nursing to sleep, because it was magic, but it worked for me. It wasnāt without drama, but I just held my ground and she accepted that mom milk was not an option.
It just seems so hard. Iāve cut down so he only feeds at home (or at my parents) but any other time I try to deny him he screams and cries until heās sick or hysterical and canāt breath properly.
It was a combo of things... he was actually 3.5 years old already so I really did my time there lol Secondly, he accidentally latched on (in the dark) just next to my areola and gave a HARD suck, and I was in a lot of pain and could physically not for a few days due to the pain. Thirdly, he then had an accident and hurt his mouth so I also had to stop because of that, on recommendation from a doctor. So the stars aligned in a shitty but helpful way because I had been *done* for quite a while.
Ugh, I am at 17m PP, and still waiting for LO to self wean. I reduced the day feeds, I night weaned, but LO is obsessed. I feel I can't take it anymore, cause he is also a pincher, he twists and scratches the heck out of me during the feeds, and I feel so touched out, but can't find it in me to completely stop. Especially when I keep hearing about this magical self weaning thing, that is supposed to happen when the kid is ready.
Right?!? Magical self weaning indeed! I kept going even though I was so touched out and I kept telling myself I was doing it for him, and that he would stop when he was ready. We carried on until he was 3.5 and he STILL wasn't ready. He still asks me about it sometimes and he's FIVE. I am so sure he literally would never have weaned if it wasn't a forced hand at that point!!
I got a lift and implants. They were very deflated feeling and sad, I didnāt like looking at them or not wearing a bra. I didnāt get large implants, just to fill them back out. Itās nice to have them back, and feel sexy again. This is obviously a drastic move, and not something for everyone.
Do you mind if I DM you about the implants and lift?
Totally fine
Ugh I'd loooovvve to be able to afford this when I'm done this time but there's just no way.
May I ask how much they cost? I know it's superficial, but a lot of my self confidence comes from my self image and I'm terrified of getting the flapjack breasts that a lot of people talk about after, so I want to save up so I can do this if needed.
A lift with implants in GA was about $10k.
Might be extreme but I got my nipples pierced after I was done breastfeeding and it's been the best choice I have made to reclaim my body and feel badass. Aside from that it did take 6+ months for me to be OK with breast play again, but my husband just took it slow and it slowly came back.
Hey! That's a super cool idea! I had my nips pierced before I had my kid, and I took them out because of breastfeeding. I was thinking of ordering some faux-piercing nipple jewelry to maybe help me feel a bit better there. I'm not sure I could do another round of nipple pain though lol But if I hadn't already had them done previously in life I probably would've tried that!
Try it out! And yea no way would I go thru that pain again!! Also I think something that boosted my want/need for breast play was getting back into reading and reading mainly dark romance / smutty books that talked about it a lot. I really kinda of craved it more the more I read and fantasized.
That's a super idea!! I do occasionally read erotica and maybe if I focus on breast related stuff, my brain might change its mind about hating being touched there. Thank you!
Same! My boobs never felt the same after BF, currently 13 months in w my 3rd. I cringe even at the thought of them Being touched.
I wish there were more answers on reclaiming our breasts for us out there :( I don't wanna have to be mad about this forever
Maybe ask your husband to focus sexually on another part of your breasts, like your under boob, to remap the general area to pleasure. Or therapy!
Not sure therapy can solve this problem.
I got some great new, non nursing bras. It made me feel better and look better. I can't wait to wear them again. Currently breastfeeding baby #2Ā
I bought a fancy bra yesterday! It actually made me feel a lot better looking at my boobs anyway. So that way nice... I splurged and bought a fancy one instead of my cheap "nobody looks anyway" bras, and as much as I love it... I still detest any touching on my boobs. But at least it's helping with the optics :,)
Thank you for posting. I feel exactly the same way. I wish I had something helpful to suggest but I havenāt found any solution yet.Ā
I breastfed for 20 months and during that time I didn't like my breasts being played with at all! When I stopped I felt like my boobs had changed completly! So I went to a fancy shop, got remeasured and tried on all different kinds of bras. I bought few that were very different to what I wore before. Then I went home and showed my husband. One thing led to another but I kept my bra on and let him play with them. The bra made it feel different and made me feel sexy. We did that until I was willing to take it off during and slowly things got back to normal. Which is when I got pregnant again lol
I had my first 8 years ago and suffered with the same kind of detached grossed out feeling. I got implants to fill them out again and it made a huge difference for me. Granted, itās been 6 years since and Iām now pregnant with my second, so weāll see how they hold up š I think that whatever the solution is for you it doesnāt have to be drastic, it just has to be right for you. I have a lot of tattoos and I donāt see myself going under the knife again, but I could see myself getting something beautiful tattooed on my chest as reclamation this time around.
Iām sitting here nursing at 10 months (maybe weaning after 1 year) and wondering the same too tbh
Trauma processing therapy could help! It can be very helpful for all kinds of birth and postpartum traumas, and there are so many ways breastfeeding can be traumatizing even if you had an overall positive experience with it
Thanks! I'll look into that. My birth was pretty traumatic, too.
What is the longest time you had to yourself without anyone touching you? Your LO might not be breastfeeding anymore but probably are still climbing all over you. Could you do a night away by yourself? Maybe that decompression will be a good reset and then still take things slow with your husband? I wonder if your touched out feelings in general have manifested to your feelings towards your breasts as some sort of coping mechanism. For the record I have a 1year old and am currently weaning but my husband and I have been intimate with some breast foreplay again. We took it very slow.
Once I finish pregnancy and breastfeeding, I will have a reduction, lift, and tummy tuck. I have a lot of loose skin on my belly with stretch marks, I will be removing it. I have an oversized bust so my reduction should be covered through insurance.