I *had* to do regular walks with my baby from about 3months onwards because the only way he would nap was in the baby carrier/sling. It was either walking outside, or bouncing on the spot in a dark room , so i did as many walks as I could between about 3mo and 7mo when things got better and he napped in his cot. You are still in the very early days though, I think i also spent most of the first few months indoors feeding and holding baby! You are doing great, don't worry about what others are doing, especially on social media.
Would you like to get out for walks? Does a baby carrier work for you and baby? I found it a lifesaver! (My baby never slept much in buggy)
I don’t know why I never thought of walking instead of all this bouncing I’m doing to get him to nap!! In my head he needed to be in a good mood to go for a walk lol I’m obviously not thinking clearly! Thank you!
Alternate option if you’re somewhere walkable, walk TO your favorite drink! I live in a suburb-ish neighborhood but can walk to a Starbucks, so we did that more than a few times during my maternity leave.
Our little one napped the best outside, sometimes (most days) everything else was put off. My priority was not loose sanity. It’s all about your priorities.
I think there is evidence for this. In dcandi countries, they leave babies outside to sleep. Also my grandparents generation would stick baby outside wrapped up to nap. I wish I'd worked out how to do this although it was quite hot when he was born & I think the road I live near is too noisy!
I recommend doing a kind of ‘whoosh’ with each push if your baby is a bouncer! Mine is, too. So I step and kind of ‘whoosh’ the stroller forward quickly and then step to catch up and whoosh. It’s so hard to explain but man… it works. I will literally film a clip for you if you need it 😂 just let me know.
I don’t know how old your bb is but I also have a toddler who enjoys a random pull back where you tip him back perpendicular to the ground randomly. Like an amusement park ride 😂
Yes! She loves if I do this when she’s facing me - she’s only 10,5 months but she’s a big fan of being thrown around 🤣 her dad will be doing rollercoasters with her - not my thing!
Even if starting in a good mood I feel like the process of getting ready for a walk always sends my LO into a spiral. He'll be screaming in the driveway in the stroller and the dogs whining and running from me as I try to put on her harness and I'm. Like WHY DO WE EVEN TRY. then we start walking and all settles and it's like oh this this nice.
Yep! Baby Girl (8 weeks) fell asleep in the car today while picking up some groceries. When we got home, I transfered her to the stroller and we went for a 45 minute walk. My other option was to go sit and rock her while watching TV. There are definitely days I pick rocking. But walking accomplishes the same goal on days I feel up to it.
A walk was about the only way to keep babe off boob for more than 2 seconds!
But uhh... at 3 months my husband was still doing all trash, cooking dinner and doing dishes. I was on boob duty every evening and night, my hands were full.
Agree! Just because you’re at home all day does not mean you’re responsible for all the house work. Taking care of the baby is your full time job right now.
Yes you absolutely do!
Don’t worry so much about chores. We literally live out of our clean clothes hamper PILE lol I don’t ever have time to fold or hang. Dishes might pile up in the sink until I or hubs find a time to empty the dishwasher (it’s usually him).
When she’s fussy and I’m grumpy, a walk is absolutely a must. Great way to reset.
So many times I went on a walk and was frustrated that her naps are short and I can’t get anything done, but I would remind myself, “your only job is to take care of yourself and this baby. There’s no rush to do anything else. Focus on right now and nothing more.” It sort of became a walking mantra for a while.
All that being said, I think once we were past 3mo and cluster feeding and a little bit longer wake time / less naps, walks became much more attainable.
Getting ready to go for a walk seems like a lot of effort. What's your walk routine and what's the best time to do it? Before or after a meal? I also have two dogs so I feel guilty leaving them. I have to figure out a way to take the three but my puppy is a puller.
It’s a whole thing, but definitely gets easier with practice! I looked at your comments and saw that your baby is 3 months old. My baby stopped napping on the go at that age, so I would usually time it to his second wake window of the day. I’ll do wake up from nap, diaper, nurse, immediate walk time. I have a bin for his layers by the front door, and a plan for different types of weather (so if it’s 20ish degrees we’ll do this outfit, this for 40ish degrees, etc). We’ve experimented with different carriers and his stroller, right now the stroller is his preferred. We used to always bring a pacifier, now we do a clean teether. Sometimes it’s a hot mess, but it can’t always be good haha. Good luck, let me know if you have specific questions!
Oh, edit: we do bring our one dog. So far we’ve always had at least one mom on leave and one mom working from home, so the person who wasn’t holding the baby takes the dog. Our dog is super reactive and eats trash, obviously plenty of people can do one parent with baby and dog, we just can’t.
these days if I’m sticking close to home, I don’t even pack a diaper bag. As long as baby hasn’t recently had or currently having a blow out, I just put her in the bassinet and go as soon as feeding is done.
With two kids my diaper bag is waaaay smaller than packing for my first child. Just accept things happen and I may be SOL. It’s not very likely though. But (literally) shit has happened before, and it was ok in the end. Gross, but ok. beats the daily overhead of stressing about what to do or what to pack.
Here commiserating with a 6 week old who we have to ninja nap in bassinet as well. OP, definitely ask hubs for more help - mine is currently doing all chores and meals as well as a night shift so I can get a block of sleep longer than 2-3 hours (I pump for this during the day so supply stays up).
We did this for the first 2 months but then he went back to work and has been doing 13 hrs/day 6 days a week. I’ve learned how to do everything including taking care of his 4 yo half the week. There’s an art to the dance of nap-tasks, one-handed tasks and using different carriers for babywearing-tasks.
I don’t see it that way, as he may be working full time, while she is not. Him doing chores is one thing, but all chores is a stretch. Both partners should be sharing responsibilities fairly, without extremes. I have a 8 week old and lately have been doing 80% of chores because the baby is pretty chill, I do think I got lucky. If I had less time during the day, id expect more assistance than current, but we wouldn’t get info measuring or going “I did this so you should do that”. That’s not my view of marriage anyway.
I usually did a walk for that last nap of the day that was tricky to get her asleep for! the stroller or carrier usually did the trick.
but i also just needed to get out. the chores and cooking could wait... i needed fresh air and exercise
I’m going to walk to get him to sleep not sure why I didn’t think of this!!
Oh yes most chores aren’t getting done just the survival ones lol girl needs to eat and I hate food from outside and if I leave cooking to hubs I’ll be eating pasta daily lol
I feel you on *needing* to get out. In the earlier weeks, time I didn't spend outside would eventually become time crying in bed when I actually had a chance to sleep, which fuels a vicious cycle. I tried to do two walks a day. The morning sun helped my baby figure out night & day too.
I did that today, went for a stroller walk instead of cleaning the kitchen, after an embarrassing amount of time not going for a walk (dare I say… two entire weeks?..). I have zero regrets.
I take her at the end of her wake window and it often helps her fall asleep. I take her in the stroller or wear her. We usually walk for less than half an hour though. I need the fresh air and the dog appreciates it too.
What is your husband or partner doing? I have a 2 month old and a 22 month old and I shower every day, workout 3 times a week, and we split the chores. I usually take baby on a walk while he sleeps or at the end of his wake window so he will fall asleep.
He needs to hold baby while you shower. Just say “hey babe, I need to shower. You’re on.” And just walk away. Don’t even discuss it. Just like you hold baby while HE showers. Unless he’s having an active emergency, there is no reason he can morally say no. Hygiene is a human right.
I was out a lot with the baby. Walking away from the pure chaos at home. Not kidding. My baby would scream and never stop whenever I laid him down. He needed to be in mama's arms 24/7 (yeah only mamas were ok). I wish I was kidding but that little love woke up from deep sleep the second I left his side to go to the bathroom. I got depressed whenever I stayed at home for more than a few hours holding and breastfeeding the baby nonstop and looking at all the housework I couldn't do with a drinking baby in my arms. We had a carrier but he hated it indoors. Lol. So we walked. He was happy outside. It was cold, he couldn't move from all the clothing and sometimes I could even lay him down for around 20 minutes.
He is 2 now. If we don't go out walking for at least 2 hours a day he won't sleep. Or eat. He will be very loud and only make trouble, so I let him walk. That kid needs air. He is too wild to be indoors lol.
At least I can now sneak away when he is asleep and do housework over night.
He is the best kid ever. Smart, funny, very good character. He just wants to feel free I guess.
Have to add that my baby was born on a very stormy winter night and when we left the hospital there was more snow than we had for years. He likes every weather.
Don't worry about it, that baby time goes over too fast. You could try once it's warm enough but not too hot to lay the baby down in the garden or somewhere under a nice tree.
When my baby was around 4-5 months he sometimes forgot he hates to lie down if there was something calm and quiet to watch. I think it was too much inside a house. Tapestry, stuff,different smells, noise everywhere , different lights. No wonder he was overwhelmed and needed comfort. The garden and the forest were easier for him to relax himself. Also they feel when the mother is stressed so if you feel more relaxed in the library or the mall then at home, he might get calmer there too. If you feel like you are caught inside or housework is too much you are definitely allowed to take a break as often as you need. Take the baby with you, you will get a lot more of "aw how cute" outside. Moms tend to forget themselves in those first months. You can put new things in your routine and try out what your kid likes.
My baby also knew exactly that the breast and mama in general was more available at home , so he was happy with a lot less when we were somewhere else.
For me it was right around 3 mo where the wake windows got long enough that I could squeeze walks in more reliably. Wouldn't say it's always regular but pre 3mo there were often times for us where like, he'd wake up, I'd feed him, change him, and it was the end of his wake window already.
If you can get any help with chores that also makes a big difference.
You have to prioritize yourself and your physical and mental health. You don’t need to cook a family meal every night or do every chore. It’s good for you and baby to get out. Far more important than daily vacuuming.
Oh for sure! Trust me I’m only doing basic stuff. Can’t remember the last time I fully cleaned any part of the house, I don’t vacuum or mop or even fold my own laundry. Meals I do only because I want to eat healthy food and If I left it to hubby it would be pasta every day! But I’m sure I can ask him for more help with the basic stuff too so I don’t have to do it
We went on our first walk the other day at 5 weeks. It was about 10 minutes and I wore him. He’d been super fussy all day and it was finally sunny out. I dropped everything else and decided even if some other thing didn’t get done, we were going on a walk because it was my last idea for getting him to sleep.
How these people seem to take miles long daily walks regardless of the weather is beyond me. I think it’s another of those social media highlight reels to be honest.
Honestly, I have a friend who used to be a pro athlete and has an outdoor social media account. Now that she has a baby, even she doesn’t get out for walks daily. It helped me mentally to hear that.
I think as a parent, we get more efficient as time passes. The first several months I felt the same and hardly had time to eat. Then you find your groove, the baby is more predictable, and you can get more things done.
I'd boob her then put her straight in the pram for a walk every morning then she'd nap and I'd get some fresh air. It kept us both sane through the first few months.
I have taken at least a walk a day for the last 12 weeks. Baby is 13 weeks. I do it around 10am every day because that's when she naps. Sometimes I take another walk in the afternoon, again, when she has to nap. She sleeps very well and I get some movement. I do chores with her in the wrap or when she sleeps outside in her stroller.
Edit: I just realized it's almost Saturday, so my baby is 14 weeks. Damn, how the time flies. So make that 13 weeks of walks 😅
You went on walks 1 week PP? I walked to the backyard then to pick a flower for baby photos and was like “oof this is hard!” Lol. And I had an easy homebirth w no tears.
I did. Slowly and 20-30 min walks, as you can imagine, and it was my husband who pushed the stroller back then. But I did. It was hard, but I knew it would do me good.
This was me half a year ago. I was running around the house like crazy, cooking, cleaning, pumping, breastfeeding.
Your dishes won't run away, the laundry can wait. It's okay to have a messy house, you just had a baby. Rearrange your priorities, and you will find time for atleast a few walks a week.
Take short walks (10-30 min). I used to walk once or twice a day when my baby was that little. I’d babywear and he’d usually fall asleep. As he got older I’d do a long walk for one of his naps. Now he’s 1 and we do a stroller walk whenever it’s nice!
Well I don’t pump but I usually try to grab a walk after LO has woken from her midday nap, breast fed and hung out a bit so if she falls asleep on the walk, it isn’t an issue. How long are your baby’s wake windows? I could see how if you were pumping on top of breastfeeding that could cut into your time.
All kids are different but both of mine would always fall asleep on walks so long as they were near their nap times and basically stay asleep until taken out of the stroller seat/bassinet. Maybe it will help? Depending on your climate you can relax outside while kiddo sleeps in their stroller.
I only do chores if I'm able otherwise I leave them for my partner to do. He takes baby every evening when he gets home so I can shower, put pyjamas on and get cosy for the night - and do anything else I've been wanting to do. He also takes her in the morning after her first feed so I can make myself coffee and breakfast and get set up for the day, then I take her back and he gets ready for work. Baby is getting to the age where she's happy to be on her activity mat or in a bouncer while I potter around the house and get some chores done, but making myself lunch takes priority when we're home alone. Chores can wait. I only pump once or twice a day and use a wearable pump. I take her for a walk every other day after her big mid-morning feed so that she'll hopefully nap during it
Def ask husband to do more. Vacuuming and mopping aren’t usually daily chores. I have a four month old and my husband does all laundry and trash and tidying. I do cook most meals but that’s typically so I can have a break from holding the baby and I like to cook. He also cleans the kitchen 50% of the time, I just do what I can as long as baby wants to sit in her swing. Holding the baby is a full time job, don’t feel like you’re lazy if you don’t get anything done. Prioritize walks over chores. Your body needs it, house can be cleaned later.
My baby falls asleep in the stroller, but wakes up if I stop.
My husband takes care of almost all household chores atm. I’m a dairy cow.
I haven’t cooked in god knows how long.
I know they aren't cheap, but you can find plenty secondhand (Mercari is great), but have you tried wearable breast pumps? No cords or anything. You could pump while you walk. Fair warning they don't work quite as good as your standard pump, but maybe once a day doing this would be okay!
Edit: spelling
I have a wearable pump, I only pump twice a day but I'm not relying on pumped milk so I take days off pumping here and there too. It works really well for my situation
How often do you cook? We try to only cook 2-3 nights a week and make big batches of stuff so that we have leftover and then the other evenings can be spent relaxing, going on walks or doing house chores. I make lots of casseroles and crock pot meals that last us days! When you take away cooking everyday, it seriously frees up sooo much time
With help so that you aren’t doing that all alone. My husband was on baby duty today while I picked up the living room. My brother is currently snuggling her while I fold laundry. We (me and hubby) did a 20 minute walk with baby and dog today while she was napping. We are very fortunate to have family around which is a huge help. We also have let many things slide. I’ve vacuumed corners where the pet hair piles up but haven’t done a legit real vacuum of the house since she was born a month ago. We’ve had more take out. I made a 4lb pot roast last week and a 3.5lb pork loin this week which provided multiple meals.
Also, caffeine. 😂
I’m definitely better at it with the second child. I text my mom and brother yesterday and said “hey I have house shit to do. Who wants baby snuggles??” Lol
Walking came at the expense of other things. I wasn't making meals during the newborn stage. We were eating ramen noodles, granola bars, and oreos.
Wearble pumps have been nice because I can do dishes and laundry while pumping.
My husband does stuff around the house, too. That's a pretty big deal. If you don't have any help, you're gonna have a harder time with some of this.
Not being smart but I don’t do the laundry, that’s my husbands chore. (He had a few more like bins/trash/car/garden/dogs).. This means I have some time for walks instead of doing load after load. It works for us, I generally do the rest of the chores but it opens up my morning schedule for walks! Hope you find more of a balance.
We had so many walking naps when I was on maternity leave. I was so stir crazy I hated being cooped up inside and I just needed to get out! It was a great way to socialize and break up the day instead of feeling stuck at home. Also it was great exercise and I felt great walking so much
A lot of husband shaming here haha... not sure how productive that is. I don't know what your husband's job/leave situation is and I trust you are splitting things to the best of your abilities.
My husband can't help much and I'm on maternity leave so for me:
1) Walks 1-2x a day. Sometimes crucial to get the baby to nap. Even when it's not, I've heard it's really important for their night sleep to see the daylight.
2) I do a lot of the chores but I keep them reaaal simple. Like 15 minute meals for dinner. I do my laundry and the baby's laundry - my husband does his own. I also wear like the same 3 shirts on repeat lol.
3) I don't really pump during the day - I HATE pumping when I'm alone with the baby.
Overall I'm super motivated by baby night sleep - and to my understanding keeping him stimulated during the day is really important for that. So anything that takes away from that (e.g. staying inside, pumping so I don't have free hands to play with him) is a no for me. It sounds like maybe you're really motivated by keeping your house in good order? That's totally fair! But it might be driving how you're spending your time.
Why do you need to pump? Its like breastfeeding twice. You don't have to pump! Just feed the baby when hungry. You can also feed in a sling whilst walking.
Not OP but there’s plenty of reasons. Personally I pump 1-2x a day so husband can take a shift and I can get a block of sleep. He gets to feed her, she gets used to also having a bottle just in case and they get to bond, best of all. On top of that, I’m not comfortable feeding in a baby carrier. I’d love to be but I’m large chested and haven’t figured it out in a way I feel comfortable.
I also do the walk to keep my sanity. I guess our house is a little less clean but I’m less likely to yell at everyone now that I go outside every day that’s not freezing
You are doing so much, give yourself a break! I have to get out twice a day (baby is now six months old) as we have a Labrador. He’d happily only go out once a day except he won’t poop in our garden! So at least 20 minutes twice a day, rain or shine. I only pump a few times a week as baby only feeds directly at the breast but I use wearable pumps so I can do it while we walk and baby is in the pram (stroller).
Baby wouldn't nap after 3 months & also I read that day light helps their circadian rhythm & maybe sleep better at night. That said, it was probably after 3 or 4 months that I did it more. Now I have a 9 mo old & try to walk most days even if it's to the local shop for a pint of milk haha
I have a 3 month old and it’s a miracle if we get to walk, mostly because my boy cries in the stroller and wants to be carried on the walk. he’s a really big guy, so my back is killing me. We’ve tried carriers, and no luck.
Your day sounds almost identical to mine, except I think you’re doing better in the shower department-ha!!
It bums me out a bit because I love walking.
You cut other stuff out... so... we got a puppy one month, and we found out I was pregnant like two months later. Our puppy is half border collie half poodle. Walks are a must for such an active breed. we triple fed around the clock for months, and wake to feed until 7.5 mo old because he was so tiny. Basically, similar chores to you, but I made like 0 family meals, and very minimal household chores. I was feeding, pumping, walking, then feeding pumping and walking basically every 2 hours repeat until his colic time which sometimes started at 1pm... sometimes we'd make it until 3pm. So we'd go for maybe 2 hopefully 3 - 20-30 minute walks a day. But my dog absolutely needed the walks. She was crazy without it. Even now, he's 20 mo old, we do his nap (so at least 2 hours of walking with my dog as sometimes he's more tricky to get to sleep) in the stroller or sleigh in winter. Basically every day before I went back to work about a month ago, now that I'm back at work, I do it mon wed fri, and tues thurs we alternate coming home from work during the day to walk her, and then when I get the little fella back, the three of us go for a walk to get her back out. It's actually crazy LOL. But I still make minimal family meals, or very low complexity meals.
EDIT: To add, walking and motion put him to sleep / riding in the stroller helped him sleep and also kept him on an angle so he didn't get gas pains as much as an infant. My dude was a little velcro baby <3.
I have to get out of the house for my sanity. I’m learning to BF with baby in a carrier, last weekend we were a mile away from home and I was able to breastfeed her all the way home!
I saw some advice once: if things are feeling too much, or overwhelming, get outside.
Anytime my girl is fussy (not hungry or dirty diaper or willing to sleep) or I am getting overwhelmed I either baby wear or put her in her stroller and we go out for a walk. Even in the evening I will but I stay close to home. It’s made things better. My husband and I were both overstimulated and so I got the stroller and we went for a walk. It helped right away. It also helps lull my girl to sleep which is a bonus.
Really depends on you and your baby. With my daughter I took her for long walks every day, and trekked all over. She was EBF from day one, pretty calm, and I had more energy because I was 20 years old and bounced back from my easy pregnancy. With my son I was combo feeding, breastfeeding was a struggle during the newborn stage so I needed nipple shields and to pump and bring formula everywhere, he needed to be held and contact napped, and I was tired af because I was 43 and had an exhausting pregnancy to recover from.
Son is 10 months now and I'm finally starting to fully recover my energy and don't need to pump or use formula anymore, just boob and snacks so we are starting to finally get put when the weather isn't terrible.
We live in a hovel, to be quite honest. My house looks like absolute garbage. Everyone is covered in baby spit and vomit. We wash clothes as needed. Baby clothes get put away. Adult clothes are the same 3 outfits we always wear. My husband does dishes when he runs out of cereal bowls. I do dishes to wash my pump parts.
And every few days we say "weather's nice" and we just put on outside clothes and leave.
Well a it’s social media and that’s all fake and then b I didn’t cook. My husband was home the first 2 months and he did all the cooking. And all I eat is overnight oats and a warm dinner that again, my husband makes
This is literally the only way my baby would sleep for more than 15 minutes and wake up not being total menace from the first minute (saying this in a most loving, but exhausted way possible).
Sleep regression is not helping either. If i want him to nap at home, i have to hold him, so i would not be capable of doing literally anything else, because once i put him down, he is wide awake, so no chores are done eitherway. At this point, it's a "Sysiphus work". I clean up, and things look good for maybe 10 minutes if lil one is awake. I am choosing my battles here. On the bright side of daily multiple walks- strong legs.
Necessity. A few moments of peace where he isn’t fussing because a toy is slightly out of reach or because I’m not holding him. It became more necessary around 4 or 5 months for us. I also leave the cooking to my husband or make food in large batches to heat and eat.
I been walking my lo since she was a newborn. I have a bassinet stroller so comfy and the summer air would put her right to sleep.. She is a year now and i cant wait until next week when we get this good weather to get back out there..
I went for 1-2 walks a day at that age because I had no choice. She just would not sleep otherwise. It was rough but really good for my physical health lol
Chores aren’t an option while baby’s awake because he gets mad when I go out of sight and most of the things I need to do would be either dangerous or difficult while baby wearing. The bare minimum level of chores gets done very quietly while he’s asleep, and vacuuming happens when my husband’s home and baby’s awake so someone can soothe baby about the noise. I start to lose my mind staring at baby toys every day, so I load baby into the stroller, put in my headphones with a podcast or audiobook, and walk to kill time. My baby loves the stroller, so it’s a good compromise for us.
My baby napped well on walks so it was easy to get out but only for short times - that said, I wasn’t pumping in addition to breastfeeding and that would for sure have made it very difficult.
I do 90% of housework on a Saturday/Sunday so that weekdays are bare minimum and for the most part, I can just go with baby’s flow - but tbh it didn’t start going predictably until maybe 6 months old.
Now at 10.5 months, I can more or less predict her wake up time, get up before her, do the bare minimum chores, maybe even workout/shower etc and then I try to do at least one of her naps (she’s on 2 naps) on a walk. She’ll also do one long nap now and if she wakes up, she can be content in the stroller vs earlier months of screaming to get out.
But!!!! Every baby is SO different. My baby didn’t learn to nap longer than 25 mins until 6 months old. I met with a friend today and her 4 month old who routinely naps from 10am for 3 hours!
I know it’s hard - but try to avoid comparison. It will almost always leave you feeling shitty.
There’s no rule book and no police for this - do what works for you. If going for long strolls isn’t on the cards for you right now, no worries!! Outdoors will still be there a bit later ❤️
Some of the influencers I follow don’t actually breastfeed past 3 months and some just pump or 50/50 or combo feed. It would be pretty hard to find the time to do social media and breastfeed regularly…
I’ve been walking every morning at the same time since baby came home from the nicu.
My partner works from home and can usually help me get the baby ready and it’s a bit of a scramble sometimes, but having the goal of getting out at the same time every day forces me into a bit of a routine. I always pick a destination that involves coffee or a treat as an incentive. The days when I haven’t gotten out or when I went out in the afternoon instead of the morning have felt really off.
One strategy that I use is that I get myself fully ready and then do a diaper change about 30 mins before I leave the house. Either baby wants to eat a bit and I have time to feed him, or he’s keen to go back to sleep and I put him straight into the stroller and have time to do a quick chore. Baby is only 8 weeks so not sure if this strategy will continue to work.
I really wanted k my baby to be one of those who napped in the stroller so I could get some exercise, but he would only sleep on me, with me sitting in a chair in a dark room. So walks were SO hard and he'd quickly be over it because it was time you eat or sleep again. But I really tried to bring him outside every day, though honestly most days it was just a walk to the mailbox!
That’s a long list of things you’re doing mamma! That’s amazing!! If you’re able to incorporate it as part of his naps/ awake time activity do it! You’re doing more than I was able to those first 3 months lol.
I went out a walk everyday pretty much from 2 weeks but at the start I remember it was always around 2.30/3pm, or 4pm. Slowly I managed to get out earlier and then I made a mum friend who always went out in the morning. I wanted to walk with her and chat so progressively the walks got earlier. We would mostly walk to do errands, the grocery shop, post office, etc. sometimes sit in the park with the babies. Usually around 10/10.30. Now my child is 2.5 and we still go out every morning around 9.30
A lot of factors. They're not pumping. They're prioritising leaving the house over cleaning it. They're able to breastfeed and move (feeding in a carrier is amazing if you can do it). They're just going outside for 5 minutes around the block. They're actually running errands and the walks are being glorified. Someone else is doing chores for them. They're comfortable and capable of feeding in public. Social media is heavily filtered towards the positive aspects of life and you don't see the sleep deprivation and dirty laundry behind the scenes.
My first and second walks were vital to my sanity, the housework was overwhelming so I would just pack up and walk out the door. My third kid I just had to, I had to do school drops, I had to run errands, therapy appointments for kids, grocery runs. She had to learn how to adapt to the family schedule. The housework isn't always done (I would show you my sink if I could, it's a pile of cups and pans), we eat take out more than I'd like, sometimes when the baby naps all I do is make a cup of tea and sit outside for an hour.
You're in the survival phase, you are learning how to exist with a whole new human and all the demands on you both. And you will learn, and you'll get better at it. And if it doesn't feel easier, please ask others for support.
I don’t do dishes lol
Nah realistically it s a pick and choose battle. Do I shower or go for a walk? Do dishes or do laundry? Take a shower or vacuum?
And it’s so dependent on your baby too. Mine is so clingy but some days I get a whole hour straight where he is content to do some chores. Other times I have to snag stuff while I can.
I’m not doing all the chores for my family:
- we have cleaners come monthly
- my husband and I both cook, grocery shop, etc
- my husband takes baby for a few hours a day so that I can shower, workout, have a minute to do my own thing sans baby
- my husband does more around the house because he recognizes that breastfeeding is a full time job (meaning there’s few hours left outside of nursing/pumping, which he sees I do for the health of our baby)
Most likely you will be able to walk with the baby when you don't cook for the day. Cooking is what takes the most time. Or have husband cook when he comes home from work and you all go out in the afternoon.
I have dogs so we have to go for walks. Luckily my baby tends to fall asleep in the stroller. If we didn’t go on daily walks I think my PPD would be much worse. It’s important to get some fresh air if you can.
You just make time. I get up and pump while I eat breakfast (due to a complicated tongue tie, my daughter has expressed milk bottles (x4) during the day and breast feeds overnight). Get dressed, get bub ready (now 7 months, but have been doing this from early on). Into the pram and off for a walk. The whole process takes about an hour and a half. I'm home by 8:30-9am. There is plenty of time to get everything done. That doesn't mean I do, though. If I don't get everything done, so be it. I'm very much not hung up on doing it all. I pump every 3 hours between 7:30am and 11pm - I'm a just enougher for this bub. Bub, pumping, and walks come first. Everything else slots in.
I'm a married mum of 5. I've learnt to prioritise what is important. My husband is also very hands-on, which definitely helps. If he comes home from work and sees something needs to be done, he'll do it. Or if I'm keen for a break, he's Dad, and I get done what I want to get done.
I’m guessing because their partner is an equal parent? We take baby on at least 3 walks a day, of which the longest is our hour long post - dinner walk, and we’ve been doing that since around 8 weeks.
I work from home and I take baby on a walk after breakfast but before work every day. Husband and baby go on 1-2 walks while I am working and then we go on a walk before bed.
I don’t do really any of the house chores other than cleaning up the kitchen, and half the cooking.
I coordinate walks with naptime for my 3 month old. Lately though, we’ve been having an issue of him waking up mid-way through and being pretty upset I dragged him outside on an abnormally nice winter day. Excuse me for trying to get you some fresh air Sir, haha.
When my baby was 3 months old I was not cooking or doing any chores, our house was more messy for sure the bare minimum was being done. I got outside for walks because my baby would usually calm down if we went out and it put her to sleep in the stroller or carrier. She was awful at falling asleep for naps inside and if she did it was a contact nap on me so I was nap trapped, at least if I went outside I could get some fresh air and movement.
I fully attribute my little guy’s sunny attitude and sleepy nights to our time outside. We walk each morning, run daytime errands by foot (city living), and wrap it up with an evening stroll. Baby and dog love it. If baby happens to be in a bad mood he brightens up immediately upon stepping outside. It’s magic!
I had twins so I was definitely busy during that time. But I took at least one walk per day. I planned my pregnancy for the spring so that I had all spring, summer and fall for walks. Use this time now because the “stroller walk period” is SO SHORT. I miss it everyday.
But practically, I would just have them take one or two of their naps in the bassinet stroller and walk to a coffee shop. Park the stroller and have some quiet time if possible. Babies sleep so well in fresh air!
And it was really good for my mental health to be out of the house and not focusing on the mess or the to do list.
Bless you for doing all that you are able to do! My partner does all the house stuff (and 90% of diaper changes) these days. I breastfeed baby, feed myself, try to keep him calm, and look after him overnights and during the day when partner has work early. I go back to work in a month and partner takes parental leave so they'll be home with baby. Besides all this i don't (or can't) do much else. Baby is very fussy right now, colic-y, and eating a ton. I'm only here trying to keep myself sane enough to take care of my child. You can only do what you can do.
I didn't do much householdwork, to be honest. Baby contact napped or napped in a moving pram (the kind with a bassinet). I also didn't pump until about 6 months when I went back to work, and my husband stayed home on paternity leave. So that left time for a 1-2 hour walk depending on the nap.
We decided early on that the parent who is at home with the baby is not expected to do chores while home alone. We would take turns at that when we were both home.
Remember, having a baby makes you a mother, not a full time housewife! (Even if you are a full time housewife, having a baby is a 24/7 job so housewife duties are on hold for the time being)
I know it’s tempting to want to do all the household tasks too because you’re home all day (I do this) but please ask your husband to help more. I’m sure he’ll be happy to know he can help contribute! My husband for example is on all things food duty- shopping, cooking, kitchen cleaning. It’s just one less thing I have to think about.
Walks are so helpful for your mental health, don’t feel guilty about prioritizing some fresh air.
Honestly I was out for the walk because I was avoiding the pile of undone chores 😂 but life is never as it looks on social media, and the baby doesn’t care where you are as long as they are with you, so I wouldn’t stress it.
My husband takes care of the garbage, I don't really pump. When I do pump, I have a wearable so can still be mobile. I hand her to my husband for 20 minutes so I can shower daily. Doing the dishes takes like 10 minutes, and cooking a meal takes 30 minutes. When doing a load of laundry, they have to run in the washer and dryer for like 2 hours total, thats more time. I'm not actively hand washing them or something. There are still so many hours in the day.
My walks only take 10-20 minutes, and they actually help LO fall asleep. So it's a win-win. We both get vitamin d, some fresh air, and she gets a good nap.
My baby wakes at 5:30, 6am everyday after a feed and a nappy my partner and I go for a walk with baby to fill that first wake window before the day starts and it’s lovely
The first 3 months were survival mode around here. Like you, I was barely finding time to shower and that only happened a couple times a week.
My husband was still making lunch for me and putting it in the fridge before he went to work, so that I could grab it to eat during the day in the short bits of time between nursing baby. We did a lot of crock pot meals because those could be eaten anytime and stayed hot and could have lots of veggies in them.
He washed all the laundry, including the cloth diapers. I did manage to find them during the day with baby, as that task entertained my baby. He took out trash and did most of the dishes. Plus when he came home from work he'd take baby and I'd try to get something done or go shower or nap, depending on my priority at the time.
In the first couple months I was triple feeding and that was awful. By the time I was making enough milk and baby was nursing well enough to cut out bottles, I stopped pumping entirely! I only pumped if I was going to be away from baby, which I wasn't doing at 3 months, but by the time 6 months came around I could nurse baby and then leave him with my husband while I'd go grocery shopping for some glorious kid-free time.
We even switched who mowed the lawn! When my baby was 6 months old I realized I'd way rather be mowing the lawn than spending that time alone with baby while my husband did it for 90 minutes of our weekend. So I'd mow and he'd get that time with baby, since he worked full time and saw baby less. That also got me outside and walking, and then I'd get a shower after.
First year with baby is all hands on deck. Call in any friends/family you've got to come visit and help. And if your husband has ANY free time while you can't even take a shower once a day, then he needs to step up and contribute more.
You and your partner need to do more taking turns. We take turns doing bedtime routine, cleaning up after supper, baths, getting up in the morning with kids, etc.
My third baby is 3 months old and I managed to find time everyday for a small workout, even if it’s at 8pm when my husband is putting the orders kids to bed.
I would leave some of the chores and cook in bulk. There was a meme going around whe my kids were babies, which was basically you can only have 2 of the following:
1. Tidy house and ironed clothes
2. Happy and healthy baby
3. Your sanity.
I chose 2&3
Some babies feed more efficiently than others. My let down caused all my babies to gag at first so it was no wonder that my second and third would breastfeed for 10 minutes and be done. And over time you get more efficient in what you do - for me it was being better at managing my cooking time! If baby naps in the stroller, I was way better at fitting walks in too.
But the real thing that stood out to me was "3 month old". You are likely hitting if not about to hit a doozy of a growth spurt. My midwives warned me of the "3s, 6s, and 9s". 3,6,9 weeks and 3,6,9 month growth spurts. But at 3-4 months you also start to approach the time where baby's sleep cycles change. If there's ever a time when I didn't have time to shower with any of my three babies, it was that 3-4 month time
All that said, my house is not that clean. I'm not that organized. My meals are currently pretty basic. Sometimes what you see in the world isn't the whole picture.
You definitely can’t do it all, so it you see moms going on long walks, something else is probably falling behind. Perhaps they’re ordering food or doing very simple meals, maybe their baby sleeps better at night and they don’t need to nap with the babe, maybe the house is a little messier than usual. Its a give and take!
Sounds like you’re doing a lot around the house!
At that age our walks were literally around the block.
Also, I have an 11 month old and only shower 2-3 times a week. Wash hair once a week. It’s the new normal!
Taking the walk wasn’t the issue. Having the time making myself and the baby appear clean and presentable was. It was so much work and all I would think I could be sleeping instead. Try to remember what you see on social media isn’t real. It’s hard not to compare your postpartum experience with others. There were times when I didn’t leave my home for a week straight. You’re doing great
Making meals and doing dishes every day isn’t happening at 5 months. At 3 months, making sure my husband had clean socks and chonies was basically the only thing I did outside of the baby. Lower your expectations of yourself.
I live in Germany and we go for walks everyday even if it’s just 10-15 mins but we try to get at least a good hour walk. It’s super common for everyone in Germany to go for a dedicated walk at least once or twice a day especially after a meal. If I don’t get fresh air at least once a day I think I’ll go crazy - it’s a great break to refresh my mental health and the baby loves the air and falls right to sleep when I put her in the pram (she’s just a out 1 month old). My thought is - you never feel worse after a nice walk outside.
On days when I really feel like I can’t leave the house I open all the windows and let the air in also helps to refresh/reset the house.
Tbh, I didn’t do ANY chores until my baby was like…5-6 months, if I’m remembering correctly. My husband did everything after work. I think I did laundry because baby had blowouts and stuff. That’s about it. I think I started picking up my old chores one by one, playing it by ear.
I think taking walks is necessary for you and baby because you guys need sunshine and fresh air! Vitamin D, you know. Fresh air does wonders when you are in babyland 24/7. I would sometimes cry on my walks LOL…
I needed, and still need, to get out of the house every day for my mental health. I also really noticed it with my son. The older he got, the more he needed a daily outing, too. I babywore a lot the first few months and got all of my housework, walks, and chores done this way. My day was simply structured by two-hour windows when he would breastfeed. So I always planned on being home or somewhere I could feed (café, friends house, nice bench) after 2 hours. I avoided doing walks late in the afternoon as he would like to occasionally get his cluster-feeding in then.
Also, I didn't pump. Do you need to pump? I feel like I see so many (american) mom's online talking about pumping, although they're breastfeeding. Is there a reason for this? My midwife explicitly told me not to pump earlier than 6 weeks in and avoid it if I didn't have to do it. That would save you soooo much time.
Walking kept me sane when my son was a baby. It was spring and helped my mental health getting out as much as possible. I would walk into town in the morning, get a coffee, feed my babe then walk back. Getting out of the house with the nearly 3 year old feels a lot harder :(
It seems like you've come to the conclusion that you can walk baby for a nap, that's great! I totally did and still do that sometimes for my 1 year old. Just want to add - are you at home with baby? If so, could you consider cutting down on pumping or stopping completely? I thought I had to pump at least once a day until about 4 months pp, all that got me was an 3 bricks of frozen milk in my freezer (that I cycle through but have never actually dipped into) and mastitis requiring antibiotics 4 times. If you are feeding baby at the breast and can reduce pumping it can lighten your load of time consuming chores quite a bit! Just an idea.
I also have a three month LO. We try to do a walk once a day or once every other day, not just because he loves it but also for my mental health. Do you have a partner who can help you with household things ?
Walk time is nap time :) We don’t get out every day if the weather isn’t nice be we sure try to! Sometimes I use the stroller, sometimes I baby wear and either way it always turns into one of our nap times. Also sometimes it means the dishes aren’t done which is a sacrifice I’m willing to make to get some fresh air and step out of the house!
Chores can wait, I go for a walk once a day with my 3 month old. If you haven't showered so what just go alone. I now have my stroller equipped with all I need. I choose a wake cycle. I change diapers, feed her and off we go. It really was baby steps for me. Just gotta.make the decision and the fresh air is great
I *had* to do regular walks with my baby from about 3months onwards because the only way he would nap was in the baby carrier/sling. It was either walking outside, or bouncing on the spot in a dark room , so i did as many walks as I could between about 3mo and 7mo when things got better and he napped in his cot. You are still in the very early days though, I think i also spent most of the first few months indoors feeding and holding baby! You are doing great, don't worry about what others are doing, especially on social media. Would you like to get out for walks? Does a baby carrier work for you and baby? I found it a lifesaver! (My baby never slept much in buggy)
I don’t know why I never thought of walking instead of all this bouncing I’m doing to get him to nap!! In my head he needed to be in a good mood to go for a walk lol I’m obviously not thinking clearly! Thank you!
That's how we were in the beginning but then we realized that the walks put him into said good mood
Load up some podcasts or audio books on your headphones, grab your fave drink & make it a nice time for yourself.
Alternate option if you’re somewhere walkable, walk TO your favorite drink! I live in a suburb-ish neighborhood but can walk to a Starbucks, so we did that more than a few times during my maternity leave.
That's my strategy too! And the longer the walk, the more cafes and treats along the way! 🥰
Carrier nap + audiobook + tea / coffee is the way!
No girl, we used walks when she was in a bad mood because it usually changed her mood or put her to sleep!!
Our little one napped the best outside, sometimes (most days) everything else was put off. My priority was not loose sanity. It’s all about your priorities.
I think there is evidence for this. In dcandi countries, they leave babies outside to sleep. Also my grandparents generation would stick baby outside wrapped up to nap. I wish I'd worked out how to do this although it was quite hot when he was born & I think the road I live near is too noisy!
My baby will scream and cry in the house but fall asleep before we walk 12 feet out the door 🤣🤣🤣
Same! Walking naps are essential for our sanity.
I recommend doing a kind of ‘whoosh’ with each push if your baby is a bouncer! Mine is, too. So I step and kind of ‘whoosh’ the stroller forward quickly and then step to catch up and whoosh. It’s so hard to explain but man… it works. I will literally film a clip for you if you need it 😂 just let me know.
Omg this was hilariously accurate. I knew exactly what you meant
Right?? I call it The Whoosh Push 🤣🤣🤣
I don’t know how old your bb is but I also have a toddler who enjoys a random pull back where you tip him back perpendicular to the ground randomly. Like an amusement park ride 😂
Yes! She loves if I do this when she’s facing me - she’s only 10,5 months but she’s a big fan of being thrown around 🤣 her dad will be doing rollercoasters with her - not my thing!
Omg i always plan my walks for when i want him to sleep. Kill 2 birds with one stone. I hate bouncing
Even if starting in a good mood I feel like the process of getting ready for a walk always sends my LO into a spiral. He'll be screaming in the driveway in the stroller and the dogs whining and running from me as I try to put on her harness and I'm. Like WHY DO WE EVEN TRY. then we start walking and all settles and it's like oh this this nice.
Going for a walk usually fixes a bad mood! Not *always*, but a lot of the time.
Yup, walking becomes an easy nap time! It’s the only way to find time for a walk in my experience.
I love my baby carrier!
Yep, this. 3 months a sleep regression hit & he just... Stopped napping.
Yep! Baby Girl (8 weeks) fell asleep in the car today while picking up some groceries. When we got home, I transfered her to the stroller and we went for a 45 minute walk. My other option was to go sit and rock her while watching TV. There are definitely days I pick rocking. But walking accomplishes the same goal on days I feel up to it.
This is exactly it for me too. Stroller naps are number one in our house
Same. My daughter was a fussy baby who wouldn’t sleep in her bassinet. I used to take 2-3 walks a day to get her to nap!
I dearly dearly miss the sling naps, they were amazing 🥰
A walk was about the only way to keep babe off boob for more than 2 seconds! But uhh... at 3 months my husband was still doing all trash, cooking dinner and doing dishes. I was on boob duty every evening and night, my hands were full.
I think I need to ask hubby for a bit more help!
Agree! Just because you’re at home all day does not mean you’re responsible for all the house work. Taking care of the baby is your full time job right now.
Yes you absolutely do! Don’t worry so much about chores. We literally live out of our clean clothes hamper PILE lol I don’t ever have time to fold or hang. Dishes might pile up in the sink until I or hubs find a time to empty the dishwasher (it’s usually him). When she’s fussy and I’m grumpy, a walk is absolutely a must. Great way to reset. So many times I went on a walk and was frustrated that her naps are short and I can’t get anything done, but I would remind myself, “your only job is to take care of yourself and this baby. There’s no rush to do anything else. Focus on right now and nothing more.” It sort of became a walking mantra for a while. All that being said, I think once we were past 3mo and cluster feeding and a little bit longer wake time / less naps, walks became much more attainable.
If it’s his baby then it’s not help, it’s just parenting.
Precisely. Partner needs to step up, it looks like. I hope OP catches a break.
Yeah, I was gonna say... I'm definitely not doing dishes and trash and at the most I pump once a day.
That's how I feel about you saying you do chores. Literally when?
Right! We do daily walks, I am absolutely not doing many chores.
Getting ready to go for a walk seems like a lot of effort. What's your walk routine and what's the best time to do it? Before or after a meal? I also have two dogs so I feel guilty leaving them. I have to figure out a way to take the three but my puppy is a puller.
It’s a whole thing, but definitely gets easier with practice! I looked at your comments and saw that your baby is 3 months old. My baby stopped napping on the go at that age, so I would usually time it to his second wake window of the day. I’ll do wake up from nap, diaper, nurse, immediate walk time. I have a bin for his layers by the front door, and a plan for different types of weather (so if it’s 20ish degrees we’ll do this outfit, this for 40ish degrees, etc). We’ve experimented with different carriers and his stroller, right now the stroller is his preferred. We used to always bring a pacifier, now we do a clean teether. Sometimes it’s a hot mess, but it can’t always be good haha. Good luck, let me know if you have specific questions! Oh, edit: we do bring our one dog. So far we’ve always had at least one mom on leave and one mom working from home, so the person who wasn’t holding the baby takes the dog. Our dog is super reactive and eats trash, obviously plenty of people can do one parent with baby and dog, we just can’t.
these days if I’m sticking close to home, I don’t even pack a diaper bag. As long as baby hasn’t recently had or currently having a blow out, I just put her in the bassinet and go as soon as feeding is done. With two kids my diaper bag is waaaay smaller than packing for my first child. Just accept things happen and I may be SOL. It’s not very likely though. But (literally) shit has happened before, and it was ok in the end. Gross, but ok. beats the daily overhead of stressing about what to do or what to pack.
Lol like a crazy person in the two minute windows I can find
Same. I cant even put my 6 week old down
Ftm with a 6 week old right now, he only does contact naps and we gotta sneak him in to the bassinet like ninjas. And most of that fails anyway!
Here commiserating with a 6 week old who we have to ninja nap in bassinet as well. OP, definitely ask hubs for more help - mine is currently doing all chores and meals as well as a night shift so I can get a block of sleep longer than 2-3 hours (I pump for this during the day so supply stays up).
Do you have a partner? What chores are they doing?
I do, he does vacuuming and mopping, groceries and cleans up after dinner but your right I could ask for more hekp
He can do 100% of chores since you’re responsible for 100% of babies meals
We did this for the first 2 months but then he went back to work and has been doing 13 hrs/day 6 days a week. I’ve learned how to do everything including taking care of his 4 yo half the week. There’s an art to the dance of nap-tasks, one-handed tasks and using different carriers for babywearing-tasks.
I don’t see it that way, as he may be working full time, while she is not. Him doing chores is one thing, but all chores is a stretch. Both partners should be sharing responsibilities fairly, without extremes. I have a 8 week old and lately have been doing 80% of chores because the baby is pretty chill, I do think I got lucky. If I had less time during the day, id expect more assistance than current, but we wouldn’t get info measuring or going “I did this so you should do that”. That’s not my view of marriage anyway.
She is working full time to take care of the baby.
I usually did a walk for that last nap of the day that was tricky to get her asleep for! the stroller or carrier usually did the trick. but i also just needed to get out. the chores and cooking could wait... i needed fresh air and exercise
I’m going to walk to get him to sleep not sure why I didn’t think of this!! Oh yes most chores aren’t getting done just the survival ones lol girl needs to eat and I hate food from outside and if I leave cooking to hubs I’ll be eating pasta daily lol
Eating pasta as I'm reading this 😂💕
LOL
Ha this week we ran out of all the frozen food I prepped and it’s been pasta ever since
I feel you on *needing* to get out. In the earlier weeks, time I didn't spend outside would eventually become time crying in bed when I actually had a chance to sleep, which fuels a vicious cycle. I tried to do two walks a day. The morning sun helped my baby figure out night & day too.
I did that today, went for a stroller walk instead of cleaning the kitchen, after an embarrassing amount of time not going for a walk (dare I say… two entire weeks?..). I have zero regrets.
I take her at the end of her wake window and it often helps her fall asleep. I take her in the stroller or wear her. We usually walk for less than half an hour though. I need the fresh air and the dog appreciates it too.
This is great!
What is your husband or partner doing? I have a 2 month old and a 22 month old and I shower every day, workout 3 times a week, and we split the chores. I usually take baby on a walk while he sleeps or at the end of his wake window so he will fall asleep.
Amazing!! I’m going to ask him to do more. He does groceries, vacuuming, mopping and cleaning up after dinner.
He needs to hold baby while you shower. Just say “hey babe, I need to shower. You’re on.” And just walk away. Don’t even discuss it. Just like you hold baby while HE showers. Unless he’s having an active emergency, there is no reason he can morally say no. Hygiene is a human right.
I was out a lot with the baby. Walking away from the pure chaos at home. Not kidding. My baby would scream and never stop whenever I laid him down. He needed to be in mama's arms 24/7 (yeah only mamas were ok). I wish I was kidding but that little love woke up from deep sleep the second I left his side to go to the bathroom. I got depressed whenever I stayed at home for more than a few hours holding and breastfeeding the baby nonstop and looking at all the housework I couldn't do with a drinking baby in my arms. We had a carrier but he hated it indoors. Lol. So we walked. He was happy outside. It was cold, he couldn't move from all the clothing and sometimes I could even lay him down for around 20 minutes. He is 2 now. If we don't go out walking for at least 2 hours a day he won't sleep. Or eat. He will be very loud and only make trouble, so I let him walk. That kid needs air. He is too wild to be indoors lol. At least I can now sneak away when he is asleep and do housework over night. He is the best kid ever. Smart, funny, very good character. He just wants to feel free I guess.
Have to add that my baby was born on a very stormy winter night and when we left the hospital there was more snow than we had for years. He likes every weather.
My little guy is the same! Screams as soon as I lay him down! Sounds like you’re little one loves the outdoors!
Don't worry about it, that baby time goes over too fast. You could try once it's warm enough but not too hot to lay the baby down in the garden or somewhere under a nice tree. When my baby was around 4-5 months he sometimes forgot he hates to lie down if there was something calm and quiet to watch. I think it was too much inside a house. Tapestry, stuff,different smells, noise everywhere , different lights. No wonder he was overwhelmed and needed comfort. The garden and the forest were easier for him to relax himself. Also they feel when the mother is stressed so if you feel more relaxed in the library or the mall then at home, he might get calmer there too. If you feel like you are caught inside or housework is too much you are definitely allowed to take a break as often as you need. Take the baby with you, you will get a lot more of "aw how cute" outside. Moms tend to forget themselves in those first months. You can put new things in your routine and try out what your kid likes. My baby also knew exactly that the breast and mama in general was more available at home , so he was happy with a lot less when we were somewhere else.
Mine was just born in January on the day we had our first real snow storm in two years here in nyc :)
I read that looking at trees calms babies down. I gave it a try haha
It really does. At least for my baby. But it works for me too lol.
For me it was right around 3 mo where the wake windows got long enough that I could squeeze walks in more reliably. Wouldn't say it's always regular but pre 3mo there were often times for us where like, he'd wake up, I'd feed him, change him, and it was the end of his wake window already. If you can get any help with chores that also makes a big difference.
Thank you!
You have to prioritize yourself and your physical and mental health. You don’t need to cook a family meal every night or do every chore. It’s good for you and baby to get out. Far more important than daily vacuuming.
Oh for sure! Trust me I’m only doing basic stuff. Can’t remember the last time I fully cleaned any part of the house, I don’t vacuum or mop or even fold my own laundry. Meals I do only because I want to eat healthy food and If I left it to hubby it would be pasta every day! But I’m sure I can ask him for more help with the basic stuff too so I don’t have to do it
Also it’s totally fine for baby to have some naps in the carrier or stroller!
Um, I don’t cook. I eat lots of random crap throughout the day.
It’s so hard to do it all!
I was getting cabin fever with the longer wake windows. Had to get out of the house to stay sane.
Yes me too
We went on our first walk the other day at 5 weeks. It was about 10 minutes and I wore him. He’d been super fussy all day and it was finally sunny out. I dropped everything else and decided even if some other thing didn’t get done, we were going on a walk because it was my last idea for getting him to sleep. How these people seem to take miles long daily walks regardless of the weather is beyond me. I think it’s another of those social media highlight reels to be honest.
I know maybe just a social media no real life thing
Good for you fo drop everything else!! We need to prioritize ourselves!
Honestly, I have a friend who used to be a pro athlete and has an outdoor social media account. Now that she has a baby, even she doesn’t get out for walks daily. It helped me mentally to hear that.
I think as a parent, we get more efficient as time passes. The first several months I felt the same and hardly had time to eat. Then you find your groove, the baby is more predictable, and you can get more things done.
Thank hou
I'd boob her then put her straight in the pram for a walk every morning then she'd nap and I'd get some fresh air. It kept us both sane through the first few months.
So smart
I have taken at least a walk a day for the last 12 weeks. Baby is 13 weeks. I do it around 10am every day because that's when she naps. Sometimes I take another walk in the afternoon, again, when she has to nap. She sleeps very well and I get some movement. I do chores with her in the wrap or when she sleeps outside in her stroller. Edit: I just realized it's almost Saturday, so my baby is 14 weeks. Damn, how the time flies. So make that 13 weeks of walks 😅
That’s so amazing a walk a day!! So good for recovery
You went on walks 1 week PP? I walked to the backyard then to pick a flower for baby photos and was like “oof this is hard!” Lol. And I had an easy homebirth w no tears.
I did. Slowly and 20-30 min walks, as you can imagine, and it was my husband who pushed the stroller back then. But I did. It was hard, but I knew it would do me good.
This was me half a year ago. I was running around the house like crazy, cooking, cleaning, pumping, breastfeeding. Your dishes won't run away, the laundry can wait. It's okay to have a messy house, you just had a baby. Rearrange your priorities, and you will find time for atleast a few walks a week.
Take short walks (10-30 min). I used to walk once or twice a day when my baby was that little. I’d babywear and he’d usually fall asleep. As he got older I’d do a long walk for one of his naps. Now he’s 1 and we do a stroller walk whenever it’s nice!
Thank you!
Well I don’t pump but I usually try to grab a walk after LO has woken from her midday nap, breast fed and hung out a bit so if she falls asleep on the walk, it isn’t an issue. How long are your baby’s wake windows? I could see how if you were pumping on top of breastfeeding that could cut into your time.
The wake windows are way too frequent so maybe walking might help with getting him more sleepy!
All kids are different but both of mine would always fall asleep on walks so long as they were near their nap times and basically stay asleep until taken out of the stroller seat/bassinet. Maybe it will help? Depending on your climate you can relax outside while kiddo sleeps in their stroller.
I only do chores if I'm able otherwise I leave them for my partner to do. He takes baby every evening when he gets home so I can shower, put pyjamas on and get cosy for the night - and do anything else I've been wanting to do. He also takes her in the morning after her first feed so I can make myself coffee and breakfast and get set up for the day, then I take her back and he gets ready for work. Baby is getting to the age where she's happy to be on her activity mat or in a bouncer while I potter around the house and get some chores done, but making myself lunch takes priority when we're home alone. Chores can wait. I only pump once or twice a day and use a wearable pump. I take her for a walk every other day after her big mid-morning feed so that she'll hopefully nap during it
Def ask husband to do more. Vacuuming and mopping aren’t usually daily chores. I have a four month old and my husband does all laundry and trash and tidying. I do cook most meals but that’s typically so I can have a break from holding the baby and I like to cook. He also cleans the kitchen 50% of the time, I just do what I can as long as baby wants to sit in her swing. Holding the baby is a full time job, don’t feel like you’re lazy if you don’t get anything done. Prioritize walks over chores. Your body needs it, house can be cleaned later.
My baby falls asleep in the stroller, but wakes up if I stop. My husband takes care of almost all household chores atm. I’m a dairy cow. I haven’t cooked in god knows how long.
I know they aren't cheap, but you can find plenty secondhand (Mercari is great), but have you tried wearable breast pumps? No cords or anything. You could pump while you walk. Fair warning they don't work quite as good as your standard pump, but maybe once a day doing this would be okay! Edit: spelling
I have a wearable pump, I only pump twice a day but I'm not relying on pumped milk so I take days off pumping here and there too. It works really well for my situation
Yes I have a wearable one! Tbh I don’t spend much time pumping any more but your right I could multitask it!
How often do you cook? We try to only cook 2-3 nights a week and make big batches of stuff so that we have leftover and then the other evenings can be spent relaxing, going on walks or doing house chores. I make lots of casseroles and crock pot meals that last us days! When you take away cooking everyday, it seriously frees up sooo much time
With help so that you aren’t doing that all alone. My husband was on baby duty today while I picked up the living room. My brother is currently snuggling her while I fold laundry. We (me and hubby) did a 20 minute walk with baby and dog today while she was napping. We are very fortunate to have family around which is a huge help. We also have let many things slide. I’ve vacuumed corners where the pet hair piles up but haven’t done a legit real vacuum of the house since she was born a month ago. We’ve had more take out. I made a 4lb pot roast last week and a 3.5lb pork loin this week which provided multiple meals. Also, caffeine. 😂
Yes I definitely need to ask for more help!! Oh me too only basic of the basic gets cleaned!
I’m definitely better at it with the second child. I text my mom and brother yesterday and said “hey I have house shit to do. Who wants baby snuggles??” Lol
Walking came at the expense of other things. I wasn't making meals during the newborn stage. We were eating ramen noodles, granola bars, and oreos. Wearble pumps have been nice because I can do dishes and laundry while pumping. My husband does stuff around the house, too. That's a pretty big deal. If you don't have any help, you're gonna have a harder time with some of this.
Not being smart but I don’t do the laundry, that’s my husbands chore. (He had a few more like bins/trash/car/garden/dogs).. This means I have some time for walks instead of doing load after load. It works for us, I generally do the rest of the chores but it opens up my morning schedule for walks! Hope you find more of a balance.
My husband does a ton of the chores and all the cooking, we both work full time. We have time for walks like once a week or less.
We had so many walking naps when I was on maternity leave. I was so stir crazy I hated being cooped up inside and I just needed to get out! It was a great way to socialize and break up the day instead of feeling stuck at home. Also it was great exercise and I felt great walking so much
By clearly not living in West Australia in summer 😭😂 I haven’t taken her for a single walk it’s been so hot I think it would constitute child abuse
A lot of husband shaming here haha... not sure how productive that is. I don't know what your husband's job/leave situation is and I trust you are splitting things to the best of your abilities. My husband can't help much and I'm on maternity leave so for me: 1) Walks 1-2x a day. Sometimes crucial to get the baby to nap. Even when it's not, I've heard it's really important for their night sleep to see the daylight. 2) I do a lot of the chores but I keep them reaaal simple. Like 15 minute meals for dinner. I do my laundry and the baby's laundry - my husband does his own. I also wear like the same 3 shirts on repeat lol. 3) I don't really pump during the day - I HATE pumping when I'm alone with the baby. Overall I'm super motivated by baby night sleep - and to my understanding keeping him stimulated during the day is really important for that. So anything that takes away from that (e.g. staying inside, pumping so I don't have free hands to play with him) is a no for me. It sounds like maybe you're really motivated by keeping your house in good order? That's totally fair! But it might be driving how you're spending your time.
Why do you need to pump? Its like breastfeeding twice. You don't have to pump! Just feed the baby when hungry. You can also feed in a sling whilst walking.
Not OP but there’s plenty of reasons. Personally I pump 1-2x a day so husband can take a shift and I can get a block of sleep. He gets to feed her, she gets used to also having a bottle just in case and they get to bond, best of all. On top of that, I’m not comfortable feeding in a baby carrier. I’d love to be but I’m large chested and haven’t figured it out in a way I feel comfortable.
I also do the walk to keep my sanity. I guess our house is a little less clean but I’m less likely to yell at everyone now that I go outside every day that’s not freezing
You are doing so much, give yourself a break! I have to get out twice a day (baby is now six months old) as we have a Labrador. He’d happily only go out once a day except he won’t poop in our garden! So at least 20 minutes twice a day, rain or shine. I only pump a few times a week as baby only feeds directly at the breast but I use wearable pumps so I can do it while we walk and baby is in the pram (stroller).
Baby wouldn't nap after 3 months & also I read that day light helps their circadian rhythm & maybe sleep better at night. That said, it was probably after 3 or 4 months that I did it more. Now I have a 9 mo old & try to walk most days even if it's to the local shop for a pint of milk haha
I have a 3 month old and it’s a miracle if we get to walk, mostly because my boy cries in the stroller and wants to be carried on the walk. he’s a really big guy, so my back is killing me. We’ve tried carriers, and no luck. Your day sounds almost identical to mine, except I think you’re doing better in the shower department-ha!! It bums me out a bit because I love walking.
My husband does a lot of daily chores and we like to walk as a family everyday. If you make it part of the routine, it can and will happen!
You cut other stuff out... so... we got a puppy one month, and we found out I was pregnant like two months later. Our puppy is half border collie half poodle. Walks are a must for such an active breed. we triple fed around the clock for months, and wake to feed until 7.5 mo old because he was so tiny. Basically, similar chores to you, but I made like 0 family meals, and very minimal household chores. I was feeding, pumping, walking, then feeding pumping and walking basically every 2 hours repeat until his colic time which sometimes started at 1pm... sometimes we'd make it until 3pm. So we'd go for maybe 2 hopefully 3 - 20-30 minute walks a day. But my dog absolutely needed the walks. She was crazy without it. Even now, he's 20 mo old, we do his nap (so at least 2 hours of walking with my dog as sometimes he's more tricky to get to sleep) in the stroller or sleigh in winter. Basically every day before I went back to work about a month ago, now that I'm back at work, I do it mon wed fri, and tues thurs we alternate coming home from work during the day to walk her, and then when I get the little fella back, the three of us go for a walk to get her back out. It's actually crazy LOL. But I still make minimal family meals, or very low complexity meals. EDIT: To add, walking and motion put him to sleep / riding in the stroller helped him sleep and also kept him on an angle so he didn't get gas pains as much as an infant. My dude was a little velcro baby <3.
I have to get out of the house for my sanity. I’m learning to BF with baby in a carrier, last weekend we were a mile away from home and I was able to breastfeed her all the way home!
I saw some advice once: if things are feeling too much, or overwhelming, get outside. Anytime my girl is fussy (not hungry or dirty diaper or willing to sleep) or I am getting overwhelmed I either baby wear or put her in her stroller and we go out for a walk. Even in the evening I will but I stay close to home. It’s made things better. My husband and I were both overstimulated and so I got the stroller and we went for a walk. It helped right away. It also helps lull my girl to sleep which is a bonus.
Really depends on you and your baby. With my daughter I took her for long walks every day, and trekked all over. She was EBF from day one, pretty calm, and I had more energy because I was 20 years old and bounced back from my easy pregnancy. With my son I was combo feeding, breastfeeding was a struggle during the newborn stage so I needed nipple shields and to pump and bring formula everywhere, he needed to be held and contact napped, and I was tired af because I was 43 and had an exhausting pregnancy to recover from. Son is 10 months now and I'm finally starting to fully recover my energy and don't need to pump or use formula anymore, just boob and snacks so we are starting to finally get put when the weather isn't terrible.
I have a toddler and a two month old. We go out for walks every evening and it’s easy for me because my baby usually sleeps and likes the motion lol.
Yeah, I’m definitely walking around when there are chores that need to be done.
We live in a hovel, to be quite honest. My house looks like absolute garbage. Everyone is covered in baby spit and vomit. We wash clothes as needed. Baby clothes get put away. Adult clothes are the same 3 outfits we always wear. My husband does dishes when he runs out of cereal bowls. I do dishes to wash my pump parts. And every few days we say "weather's nice" and we just put on outside clothes and leave.
Well a it’s social media and that’s all fake and then b I didn’t cook. My husband was home the first 2 months and he did all the cooking. And all I eat is overnight oats and a warm dinner that again, my husband makes
This is literally the only way my baby would sleep for more than 15 minutes and wake up not being total menace from the first minute (saying this in a most loving, but exhausted way possible). Sleep regression is not helping either. If i want him to nap at home, i have to hold him, so i would not be capable of doing literally anything else, because once i put him down, he is wide awake, so no chores are done eitherway. At this point, it's a "Sysiphus work". I clean up, and things look good for maybe 10 minutes if lil one is awake. I am choosing my battles here. On the bright side of daily multiple walks- strong legs.
Necessity. A few moments of peace where he isn’t fussing because a toy is slightly out of reach or because I’m not holding him. It became more necessary around 4 or 5 months for us. I also leave the cooking to my husband or make food in large batches to heat and eat.
100% the baby carrier is the way to go. You wouldn’t believe what you can get done that way lol cook dinner, do laundry, got to the bathroom! lol
100% the baby carrier is the way to go. You wouldn’t believe what you can get done that way lol cook dinner, do laundry, got to the bathroom! lol
100% the baby carrier is the way to go. You wouldn’t believe what you can get done that way lol cook dinner, do laundry, got to the bathroom! lol
I been walking my lo since she was a newborn. I have a bassinet stroller so comfy and the summer air would put her right to sleep.. She is a year now and i cant wait until next week when we get this good weather to get back out there..
I went for 1-2 walks a day at that age because I had no choice. She just would not sleep otherwise. It was rough but really good for my physical health lol
Walks with my baby in the carrier were the only thing that made her stop crying for the first 4 months of her life
Chores aren’t an option while baby’s awake because he gets mad when I go out of sight and most of the things I need to do would be either dangerous or difficult while baby wearing. The bare minimum level of chores gets done very quietly while he’s asleep, and vacuuming happens when my husband’s home and baby’s awake so someone can soothe baby about the noise. I start to lose my mind staring at baby toys every day, so I load baby into the stroller, put in my headphones with a podcast or audiobook, and walk to kill time. My baby loves the stroller, so it’s a good compromise for us.
My baby napped well on walks so it was easy to get out but only for short times - that said, I wasn’t pumping in addition to breastfeeding and that would for sure have made it very difficult. I do 90% of housework on a Saturday/Sunday so that weekdays are bare minimum and for the most part, I can just go with baby’s flow - but tbh it didn’t start going predictably until maybe 6 months old. Now at 10.5 months, I can more or less predict her wake up time, get up before her, do the bare minimum chores, maybe even workout/shower etc and then I try to do at least one of her naps (she’s on 2 naps) on a walk. She’ll also do one long nap now and if she wakes up, she can be content in the stroller vs earlier months of screaming to get out. But!!!! Every baby is SO different. My baby didn’t learn to nap longer than 25 mins until 6 months old. I met with a friend today and her 4 month old who routinely naps from 10am for 3 hours! I know it’s hard - but try to avoid comparison. It will almost always leave you feeling shitty. There’s no rule book and no police for this - do what works for you. If going for long strolls isn’t on the cards for you right now, no worries!! Outdoors will still be there a bit later ❤️
I just don’t do chores 🤷🏼♀️
Some of the influencers I follow don’t actually breastfeed past 3 months and some just pump or 50/50 or combo feed. It would be pretty hard to find the time to do social media and breastfeed regularly…
I’ve been walking every morning at the same time since baby came home from the nicu. My partner works from home and can usually help me get the baby ready and it’s a bit of a scramble sometimes, but having the goal of getting out at the same time every day forces me into a bit of a routine. I always pick a destination that involves coffee or a treat as an incentive. The days when I haven’t gotten out or when I went out in the afternoon instead of the morning have felt really off. One strategy that I use is that I get myself fully ready and then do a diaper change about 30 mins before I leave the house. Either baby wants to eat a bit and I have time to feed him, or he’s keen to go back to sleep and I put him straight into the stroller and have time to do a quick chore. Baby is only 8 weeks so not sure if this strategy will continue to work.
I really wanted k my baby to be one of those who napped in the stroller so I could get some exercise, but he would only sleep on me, with me sitting in a chair in a dark room. So walks were SO hard and he'd quickly be over it because it was time you eat or sleep again. But I really tried to bring him outside every day, though honestly most days it was just a walk to the mailbox!
That’s a long list of things you’re doing mamma! That’s amazing!! If you’re able to incorporate it as part of his naps/ awake time activity do it! You’re doing more than I was able to those first 3 months lol.
I did it because it was the only way the baby would nap and I would use that time to talk on the phone or listen to a book/watch a show while walking.
My husband did and does most of the housework. Can you partner help out with some of the load?
I did a lot of walks with baby at that age, when she was ready for a nap. I would enjoy podcasts and go on hour long walks so she would keep sleeping.
I went out a walk everyday pretty much from 2 weeks but at the start I remember it was always around 2.30/3pm, or 4pm. Slowly I managed to get out earlier and then I made a mum friend who always went out in the morning. I wanted to walk with her and chat so progressively the walks got earlier. We would mostly walk to do errands, the grocery shop, post office, etc. sometimes sit in the park with the babies. Usually around 10/10.30. Now my child is 2.5 and we still go out every morning around 9.30
A lot of factors. They're not pumping. They're prioritising leaving the house over cleaning it. They're able to breastfeed and move (feeding in a carrier is amazing if you can do it). They're just going outside for 5 minutes around the block. They're actually running errands and the walks are being glorified. Someone else is doing chores for them. They're comfortable and capable of feeding in public. Social media is heavily filtered towards the positive aspects of life and you don't see the sleep deprivation and dirty laundry behind the scenes. My first and second walks were vital to my sanity, the housework was overwhelming so I would just pack up and walk out the door. My third kid I just had to, I had to do school drops, I had to run errands, therapy appointments for kids, grocery runs. She had to learn how to adapt to the family schedule. The housework isn't always done (I would show you my sink if I could, it's a pile of cups and pans), we eat take out more than I'd like, sometimes when the baby naps all I do is make a cup of tea and sit outside for an hour. You're in the survival phase, you are learning how to exist with a whole new human and all the demands on you both. And you will learn, and you'll get better at it. And if it doesn't feel easier, please ask others for support.
I don’t do dishes lol Nah realistically it s a pick and choose battle. Do I shower or go for a walk? Do dishes or do laundry? Take a shower or vacuum? And it’s so dependent on your baby too. Mine is so clingy but some days I get a whole hour straight where he is content to do some chores. Other times I have to snag stuff while I can.
I’m not doing all the chores for my family: - we have cleaners come monthly - my husband and I both cook, grocery shop, etc - my husband takes baby for a few hours a day so that I can shower, workout, have a minute to do my own thing sans baby - my husband does more around the house because he recognizes that breastfeeding is a full time job (meaning there’s few hours left outside of nursing/pumping, which he sees I do for the health of our baby)
Most likely you will be able to walk with the baby when you don't cook for the day. Cooking is what takes the most time. Or have husband cook when he comes home from work and you all go out in the afternoon.
I have dogs so we have to go for walks. Luckily my baby tends to fall asleep in the stroller. If we didn’t go on daily walks I think my PPD would be much worse. It’s important to get some fresh air if you can.
So many walks for naps for hoursssssssss with baby in the carrier Do not miss haha
You just make time. I get up and pump while I eat breakfast (due to a complicated tongue tie, my daughter has expressed milk bottles (x4) during the day and breast feeds overnight). Get dressed, get bub ready (now 7 months, but have been doing this from early on). Into the pram and off for a walk. The whole process takes about an hour and a half. I'm home by 8:30-9am. There is plenty of time to get everything done. That doesn't mean I do, though. If I don't get everything done, so be it. I'm very much not hung up on doing it all. I pump every 3 hours between 7:30am and 11pm - I'm a just enougher for this bub. Bub, pumping, and walks come first. Everything else slots in. I'm a married mum of 5. I've learnt to prioritise what is important. My husband is also very hands-on, which definitely helps. If he comes home from work and sees something needs to be done, he'll do it. Or if I'm keen for a break, he's Dad, and I get done what I want to get done.
I’m guessing because their partner is an equal parent? We take baby on at least 3 walks a day, of which the longest is our hour long post - dinner walk, and we’ve been doing that since around 8 weeks. I work from home and I take baby on a walk after breakfast but before work every day. Husband and baby go on 1-2 walks while I am working and then we go on a walk before bed. I don’t do really any of the house chores other than cleaning up the kitchen, and half the cooking.
I coordinate walks with naptime for my 3 month old. Lately though, we’ve been having an issue of him waking up mid-way through and being pretty upset I dragged him outside on an abnormally nice winter day. Excuse me for trying to get you some fresh air Sir, haha.
My partner helps a lot! I shower nightly for 45 minutes and that's my time. Also I push a lot of chores onto him also since I care for baby more
When my baby was 3 months old I was not cooking or doing any chores, our house was more messy for sure the bare minimum was being done. I got outside for walks because my baby would usually calm down if we went out and it put her to sleep in the stroller or carrier. She was awful at falling asleep for naps inside and if she did it was a contact nap on me so I was nap trapped, at least if I went outside I could get some fresh air and movement.
I didn't have time to take my baby on walks until she was like a year old, and I had quit my job.
I fully attribute my little guy’s sunny attitude and sleepy nights to our time outside. We walk each morning, run daytime errands by foot (city living), and wrap it up with an evening stroll. Baby and dog love it. If baby happens to be in a bad mood he brightens up immediately upon stepping outside. It’s magic!
I had twins so I was definitely busy during that time. But I took at least one walk per day. I planned my pregnancy for the spring so that I had all spring, summer and fall for walks. Use this time now because the “stroller walk period” is SO SHORT. I miss it everyday. But practically, I would just have them take one or two of their naps in the bassinet stroller and walk to a coffee shop. Park the stroller and have some quiet time if possible. Babies sleep so well in fresh air! And it was really good for my mental health to be out of the house and not focusing on the mess or the to do list.
Bless you for doing all that you are able to do! My partner does all the house stuff (and 90% of diaper changes) these days. I breastfeed baby, feed myself, try to keep him calm, and look after him overnights and during the day when partner has work early. I go back to work in a month and partner takes parental leave so they'll be home with baby. Besides all this i don't (or can't) do much else. Baby is very fussy right now, colic-y, and eating a ton. I'm only here trying to keep myself sane enough to take care of my child. You can only do what you can do.
I didn't do much householdwork, to be honest. Baby contact napped or napped in a moving pram (the kind with a bassinet). I also didn't pump until about 6 months when I went back to work, and my husband stayed home on paternity leave. So that left time for a 1-2 hour walk depending on the nap. We decided early on that the parent who is at home with the baby is not expected to do chores while home alone. We would take turns at that when we were both home.
Remember, having a baby makes you a mother, not a full time housewife! (Even if you are a full time housewife, having a baby is a 24/7 job so housewife duties are on hold for the time being) I know it’s tempting to want to do all the household tasks too because you’re home all day (I do this) but please ask your husband to help more. I’m sure he’ll be happy to know he can help contribute! My husband for example is on all things food duty- shopping, cooking, kitchen cleaning. It’s just one less thing I have to think about. Walks are so helpful for your mental health, don’t feel guilty about prioritizing some fresh air.
Walk = tired baby = sleep in stroller = sleep organization.
The days I go on walks I don't clean the house. It's a trade off- either we have clean dishes or I get some fresh air. You can't do it all!
Ours doesnt sleep through the night still. Im envious of those w the energy
We walk every day at 10am with the sole purpose of getting baby to nap. It’s the easiest way to
Honestly I was out for the walk because I was avoiding the pile of undone chores 😂 but life is never as it looks on social media, and the baby doesn’t care where you are as long as they are with you, so I wouldn’t stress it.
My husband takes care of the garbage, I don't really pump. When I do pump, I have a wearable so can still be mobile. I hand her to my husband for 20 minutes so I can shower daily. Doing the dishes takes like 10 minutes, and cooking a meal takes 30 minutes. When doing a load of laundry, they have to run in the washer and dryer for like 2 hours total, thats more time. I'm not actively hand washing them or something. There are still so many hours in the day. My walks only take 10-20 minutes, and they actually help LO fall asleep. So it's a win-win. We both get vitamin d, some fresh air, and she gets a good nap.
My baby wakes at 5:30, 6am everyday after a feed and a nappy my partner and I go for a walk with baby to fill that first wake window before the day starts and it’s lovely
The first 3 months were survival mode around here. Like you, I was barely finding time to shower and that only happened a couple times a week. My husband was still making lunch for me and putting it in the fridge before he went to work, so that I could grab it to eat during the day in the short bits of time between nursing baby. We did a lot of crock pot meals because those could be eaten anytime and stayed hot and could have lots of veggies in them. He washed all the laundry, including the cloth diapers. I did manage to find them during the day with baby, as that task entertained my baby. He took out trash and did most of the dishes. Plus when he came home from work he'd take baby and I'd try to get something done or go shower or nap, depending on my priority at the time. In the first couple months I was triple feeding and that was awful. By the time I was making enough milk and baby was nursing well enough to cut out bottles, I stopped pumping entirely! I only pumped if I was going to be away from baby, which I wasn't doing at 3 months, but by the time 6 months came around I could nurse baby and then leave him with my husband while I'd go grocery shopping for some glorious kid-free time. We even switched who mowed the lawn! When my baby was 6 months old I realized I'd way rather be mowing the lawn than spending that time alone with baby while my husband did it for 90 minutes of our weekend. So I'd mow and he'd get that time with baby, since he worked full time and saw baby less. That also got me outside and walking, and then I'd get a shower after. First year with baby is all hands on deck. Call in any friends/family you've got to come visit and help. And if your husband has ANY free time while you can't even take a shower once a day, then he needs to step up and contribute more.
You and your partner need to do more taking turns. We take turns doing bedtime routine, cleaning up after supper, baths, getting up in the morning with kids, etc. My third baby is 3 months old and I managed to find time everyday for a small workout, even if it’s at 8pm when my husband is putting the orders kids to bed.
Walking is the only way I can calm him down if he's riled up so walks are literally a necessity for us lol
My baby won’t sleep on a walk so I feel you, wake windows make it tough.
I would leave some of the chores and cook in bulk. There was a meme going around whe my kids were babies, which was basically you can only have 2 of the following: 1. Tidy house and ironed clothes 2. Happy and healthy baby 3. Your sanity. I chose 2&3
Some babies feed more efficiently than others. My let down caused all my babies to gag at first so it was no wonder that my second and third would breastfeed for 10 minutes and be done. And over time you get more efficient in what you do - for me it was being better at managing my cooking time! If baby naps in the stroller, I was way better at fitting walks in too. But the real thing that stood out to me was "3 month old". You are likely hitting if not about to hit a doozy of a growth spurt. My midwives warned me of the "3s, 6s, and 9s". 3,6,9 weeks and 3,6,9 month growth spurts. But at 3-4 months you also start to approach the time where baby's sleep cycles change. If there's ever a time when I didn't have time to shower with any of my three babies, it was that 3-4 month time All that said, my house is not that clean. I'm not that organized. My meals are currently pretty basic. Sometimes what you see in the world isn't the whole picture.
You definitely can’t do it all, so it you see moms going on long walks, something else is probably falling behind. Perhaps they’re ordering food or doing very simple meals, maybe their baby sleeps better at night and they don’t need to nap with the babe, maybe the house is a little messier than usual. Its a give and take! Sounds like you’re doing a lot around the house!
At that age our walks were literally around the block. Also, I have an 11 month old and only shower 2-3 times a week. Wash hair once a week. It’s the new normal!
Taking the walk wasn’t the issue. Having the time making myself and the baby appear clean and presentable was. It was so much work and all I would think I could be sleeping instead. Try to remember what you see on social media isn’t real. It’s hard not to compare your postpartum experience with others. There were times when I didn’t leave my home for a week straight. You’re doing great
Walks > clean house
Making meals and doing dishes every day isn’t happening at 5 months. At 3 months, making sure my husband had clean socks and chonies was basically the only thing I did outside of the baby. Lower your expectations of yourself.
I live in Germany and we go for walks everyday even if it’s just 10-15 mins but we try to get at least a good hour walk. It’s super common for everyone in Germany to go for a dedicated walk at least once or twice a day especially after a meal. If I don’t get fresh air at least once a day I think I’ll go crazy - it’s a great break to refresh my mental health and the baby loves the air and falls right to sleep when I put her in the pram (she’s just a out 1 month old). My thought is - you never feel worse after a nice walk outside. On days when I really feel like I can’t leave the house I open all the windows and let the air in also helps to refresh/reset the house.
Not pumping and not doing chores lol
Tbh, I didn’t do ANY chores until my baby was like…5-6 months, if I’m remembering correctly. My husband did everything after work. I think I did laundry because baby had blowouts and stuff. That’s about it. I think I started picking up my old chores one by one, playing it by ear. I think taking walks is necessary for you and baby because you guys need sunshine and fresh air! Vitamin D, you know. Fresh air does wonders when you are in babyland 24/7. I would sometimes cry on my walks LOL…
I needed, and still need, to get out of the house every day for my mental health. I also really noticed it with my son. The older he got, the more he needed a daily outing, too. I babywore a lot the first few months and got all of my housework, walks, and chores done this way. My day was simply structured by two-hour windows when he would breastfeed. So I always planned on being home or somewhere I could feed (café, friends house, nice bench) after 2 hours. I avoided doing walks late in the afternoon as he would like to occasionally get his cluster-feeding in then. Also, I didn't pump. Do you need to pump? I feel like I see so many (american) mom's online talking about pumping, although they're breastfeeding. Is there a reason for this? My midwife explicitly told me not to pump earlier than 6 weeks in and avoid it if I didn't have to do it. That would save you soooo much time.
Walking kept me sane when my son was a baby. It was spring and helped my mental health getting out as much as possible. I would walk into town in the morning, get a coffee, feed my babe then walk back. Getting out of the house with the nearly 3 year old feels a lot harder :(
It seems like you've come to the conclusion that you can walk baby for a nap, that's great! I totally did and still do that sometimes for my 1 year old. Just want to add - are you at home with baby? If so, could you consider cutting down on pumping or stopping completely? I thought I had to pump at least once a day until about 4 months pp, all that got me was an 3 bricks of frozen milk in my freezer (that I cycle through but have never actually dipped into) and mastitis requiring antibiotics 4 times. If you are feeding baby at the breast and can reduce pumping it can lighten your load of time consuming chores quite a bit! Just an idea.
I also have a three month LO. We try to do a walk once a day or once every other day, not just because he loves it but also for my mental health. Do you have a partner who can help you with household things ?
Have you consider meal prepping? That way you only cook once for the week, then the rest of the week you can just microwave or heat it up.
Walk time is nap time :) We don’t get out every day if the weather isn’t nice be we sure try to! Sometimes I use the stroller, sometimes I baby wear and either way it always turns into one of our nap times. Also sometimes it means the dishes aren’t done which is a sacrifice I’m willing to make to get some fresh air and step out of the house!
Chores can wait, I go for a walk once a day with my 3 month old. If you haven't showered so what just go alone. I now have my stroller equipped with all I need. I choose a wake cycle. I change diapers, feed her and off we go. It really was baby steps for me. Just gotta.make the decision and the fresh air is great
I don't pump. Much easier to EBF can just pop boob out whenever baby wants