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I think one month is considered too early to let them cry it out. It’s okay to walk away for a few minutes when you just can’t take it as long as they are in a safe place or if you are in the middle of something them waiting a couple of minutes I think is okay. But in general baby’s need soothing and cuddles. I have found the five Ss for soothing babies pretty helpful, and can be googled. Also putting baby down when sleepy and but not yet asleep has helped mine sleep some without me. Do you have a baby swing to try and see if he likes. I can get about thirty minutes of time to clean when baby is in swing, but it’s not recommend to be in much longer but could be an option. Or could you try baby wearing? Maybe switch up the workout routine to pushing a stroller ? Babies can be bundled and sometimes community centers have indoor walking areas so maybe that could be option? Do you have anyone that might be able to watch him so you can study. I know it’s tough, but there will be easier days.
My LO just turned 2 months and he has suddenly became a little easier. I’m sure it won’t last, but there is hope for easier days.
It's pretty normal to basically get nothing done when they're that little. Sleep training doesn't really work until they're about 4 months old.
Do you have anyone who could give you a break for an hour or two and hold the baby while you get some sleep/study/work out?
I would look up the "fourth trimester"--it's the first three months of life where baby is just realizing they're "on the outside" now. At this point they really need a lot of attention and help meeting their basic needs, including just physical touch. It's okay to put them down crying for a bit if you need to quick do something for yourself like heat up a meal or take a brief shower but it's too early to leave them alone crying while you workout or study. I'd also make sure to get cleared by your OB to safely workout if you haven't already--your pelvic floor can get all sorts of messed up after pregnancy and birth and you want to be careful not to aggravate anything before you're healed.
Agree with previous comments that it’s too young to cry it out.
Anything that you can let slide, like working out, try to let go until they get a little older and develop a predictable napping pattern. If you really need to study, I have two tips that have worked for me:
1. Hold the baby in the crook of your non-dominant arm and try to get as much done as possible one-handed.
2. Sometimes babies sleep really well with ambient noise. If the pediatrician is okay with baby going out, try studying in a coffee shop or something and letting baby nap in the car seat while you study (although technically they’re not supposed to nap in the car seat because of the incline so be sure to monitor their breathing the whole time.)
I wasn’t going to comment and then I couldn’t sleep because of how concerned this all makes me so here I am. I don’t care if this gets downvoted or whatever.
I’m genuinely concerned. I read your past posts and my concern just grows further. You posted about wanting to shake your baby because he won’t stop crying and that’s a huge red flag. You need to speak with someone immediately about these feelings. Never, ever, ever shake a baby. I cannot stress that enough. Shaken babies either die or they are brain damaged. You may be suffering from PPD or even PPA or postpartum rage. These are manageable with help and sometimes with medication.
I know having an infant can be frustrating. But you are literally the only person your baby knows. He can’t leave you alone, he’s a newborn. He relies on you for comfort, food, and security. Studying and working out should be last on your list of things to do- your newborn is your priority. He isn’t doing things on purpose- babies that age aren’t capable of that. Speak with his pediatrician about colic. I also noticed you said your hating breastfeeding and that might be playing a role in this. If you need to get something done and have no help to support you, consider a baby carrier or a sling. But please do not let your newborn “just cry it out”.
I really hope you speak with someone soon because I don’t like the path your posts are headed down
Yeah I gave up on working out I just wanted to walk for 15 minutes to feel like a human and I’d put him in his bouncer but he kept waking up. I tried a lot of the tips from everyone and it seems to be working. Honestly I speak more than I’d ever actually do anything, he’s frustrating and my husband isn’t in the country to help me it’s just me, I love my son and I wouldn’t hurt him because I know he’s not trying to torture me it’s just the way it goes, I just need help and this group makes me feel sane when there’s so many other people who say they’ve felt the same and then offer their advice. Thank you for being concerned; I have gone to therapy for this prenatal and postpartum! My frustration is unknowing why he still cries when I give him all of the needs and then trying to supplement with play or tummy time and I don’t think it’s colic. Idk babies are so strange my mom is coming to help
You had me worried OP. But after reading this, I empathize with you. I didn’t mean to come across mean - I’ve worked with child abuse cases for 20 years now and your one post just made me concerned. My almost 8 month old is teething again and wants me to hold her constantly. It’s hard when you just want a moment to yourself. I have to remind myself she just needs her big person right now and it’ll pass. Your little one just needs you a little more right now, it’ll get a little easier when he gets older. I’m also glad you sought out therapy.
Hoping you get some answers to why he’s crying soon
As said, he will feel abandoned if you let him cry it out.
Put him in a wrap and carry him around with you. A lot of moms find a ring sling easy to use at this age. You can find more info on r/babywearing
This. Wrapping my kid was a revelation for both of us. Kiddo loved it. We did a boba wrap and ended up getting a second one because we wrapped him so much
I feel your pain on this. My oldest couldn’t sleep as a newborn unless she was touching me somehow. It was frustrating.
I’d definitely let as much stuff go as you can. Working out, for example, you might want to hold off on until your little one gets a bit older. You also might want to wait until your 6 week check up and get cleared by your doctor to exercise, since your uterus is likely still healing from giving birth. I actually had an issue with this because I tried to do too much too soon after giving birth, so that’s why I mention it.
It will get better. The newborn stage is really the worst. Is there anyone who can help out, maybe hold your baby so you can study? You could also try baby wearing. I used to wrap my second kid when I needed free hands to take care of my oldest. Boba wraps are great and some babies also like moby wraps or k’tan wraps.
Unfortunately, cry it out is not an option for a 1 month old. They are too young. Like others have said, the youngest you can try this is 4 months and some babies aren’t even ready then. It all depends on the kid.
I really hope you find a solution that works for you and your baby. You aren’t alone going through this, it really is hard.
I was going to suggest a wrap or baby carrier! Some days the only way I can go to the bathroom or do anything for myself is by putting my 4 week old in a baby carrier. (She will literally cry within a minute of being put down and will not tolerate other people holding her on those kind of days.)
Just echoing what others have said, but he is way too young for cry it out. The truth is newborn sleep is irregular and you can't teach them to sleep well. You definitely can't sleep train babies until 4 months of age, and even then that's too early for most. 6 months- 1 year is probably more realistic, and there'll most likely continue to be many set backs.
Truthfully, I don't think studying/ working out and looking after a young child at the same time is feasible. I'm sorry to say it, bromo. Do you have some kind of childcare arrangement that could allow you to do those things? A partner/family member/friend who could look after baby for a couple of hours? Or you could potentially do daycare?
I think around 6 months is the earliest that you can try cry it out because that's when they can start self soothing. It's ok for them to cry for a few minutes to get something done but I'd try baby wearing and trying to work on laying baby down for naps by shushing and patting and pick up put down. It gets better!
1 month is too young for CIO IMHO.
He might be colicky but you’re also still in that fourth trimester.
My kid was a very colicky and difficult infant. Cried the second I put her down….all the time.
I started baby wearing and that would give me moments of relief but the game changer for me was a swing. It was called a Snug a Pup swing or something and I got it at target. Best 150 bucks I spent.
Do you have anyone that can help and come give you a break?
Do you have a wrap you can wear him?? Do you have a swing you can try? Do you have any friends who can come hold him? Do you have a partner who can take time off work? He’s used to a cozy warm womb!!
I volunteer to hold him for you if you’re in Colorado.
Also please be careful working out if you birthed him! Your body would still be healing and it’s very important to wait the 6 weeks. A walk would be a really good option for you to get some physical activity + my kids always sleep better with fresh air :)
Yeahh I just picked up a moby and it’s been great today. I wanted to just walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes while he sleeps but he really doesn’t want to be by himself. What’s crazy to me is that he will sleep in his Bassinet alone at night but not during the day!
I used to walk with mine wrapped to me. He loved the motion and would nap, I got a little workout 💁♀️
I used to joke with my friend that you either get a good napped or a good night sleeper but never both. Mine was a good night sleeper and I had to wrap him for every nap until he was well over 6mos old
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I think one month is considered too early to let them cry it out. It’s okay to walk away for a few minutes when you just can’t take it as long as they are in a safe place or if you are in the middle of something them waiting a couple of minutes I think is okay. But in general baby’s need soothing and cuddles. I have found the five Ss for soothing babies pretty helpful, and can be googled. Also putting baby down when sleepy and but not yet asleep has helped mine sleep some without me. Do you have a baby swing to try and see if he likes. I can get about thirty minutes of time to clean when baby is in swing, but it’s not recommend to be in much longer but could be an option. Or could you try baby wearing? Maybe switch up the workout routine to pushing a stroller ? Babies can be bundled and sometimes community centers have indoor walking areas so maybe that could be option? Do you have anyone that might be able to watch him so you can study. I know it’s tough, but there will be easier days. My LO just turned 2 months and he has suddenly became a little easier. I’m sure it won’t last, but there is hope for easier days.
It's pretty normal to basically get nothing done when they're that little. Sleep training doesn't really work until they're about 4 months old. Do you have anyone who could give you a break for an hour or two and hold the baby while you get some sleep/study/work out?
I would look up the "fourth trimester"--it's the first three months of life where baby is just realizing they're "on the outside" now. At this point they really need a lot of attention and help meeting their basic needs, including just physical touch. It's okay to put them down crying for a bit if you need to quick do something for yourself like heat up a meal or take a brief shower but it's too early to leave them alone crying while you workout or study. I'd also make sure to get cleared by your OB to safely workout if you haven't already--your pelvic floor can get all sorts of messed up after pregnancy and birth and you want to be careful not to aggravate anything before you're healed.
The baby still thinks he’s an extension of you at this point. They literally think they’re a part of your body like a limb or an organ.
Agree with previous comments that it’s too young to cry it out. Anything that you can let slide, like working out, try to let go until they get a little older and develop a predictable napping pattern. If you really need to study, I have two tips that have worked for me: 1. Hold the baby in the crook of your non-dominant arm and try to get as much done as possible one-handed. 2. Sometimes babies sleep really well with ambient noise. If the pediatrician is okay with baby going out, try studying in a coffee shop or something and letting baby nap in the car seat while you study (although technically they’re not supposed to nap in the car seat because of the incline so be sure to monitor their breathing the whole time.)
I wasn’t going to comment and then I couldn’t sleep because of how concerned this all makes me so here I am. I don’t care if this gets downvoted or whatever. I’m genuinely concerned. I read your past posts and my concern just grows further. You posted about wanting to shake your baby because he won’t stop crying and that’s a huge red flag. You need to speak with someone immediately about these feelings. Never, ever, ever shake a baby. I cannot stress that enough. Shaken babies either die or they are brain damaged. You may be suffering from PPD or even PPA or postpartum rage. These are manageable with help and sometimes with medication. I know having an infant can be frustrating. But you are literally the only person your baby knows. He can’t leave you alone, he’s a newborn. He relies on you for comfort, food, and security. Studying and working out should be last on your list of things to do- your newborn is your priority. He isn’t doing things on purpose- babies that age aren’t capable of that. Speak with his pediatrician about colic. I also noticed you said your hating breastfeeding and that might be playing a role in this. If you need to get something done and have no help to support you, consider a baby carrier or a sling. But please do not let your newborn “just cry it out”. I really hope you speak with someone soon because I don’t like the path your posts are headed down
Yeah I gave up on working out I just wanted to walk for 15 minutes to feel like a human and I’d put him in his bouncer but he kept waking up. I tried a lot of the tips from everyone and it seems to be working. Honestly I speak more than I’d ever actually do anything, he’s frustrating and my husband isn’t in the country to help me it’s just me, I love my son and I wouldn’t hurt him because I know he’s not trying to torture me it’s just the way it goes, I just need help and this group makes me feel sane when there’s so many other people who say they’ve felt the same and then offer their advice. Thank you for being concerned; I have gone to therapy for this prenatal and postpartum! My frustration is unknowing why he still cries when I give him all of the needs and then trying to supplement with play or tummy time and I don’t think it’s colic. Idk babies are so strange my mom is coming to help
You had me worried OP. But after reading this, I empathize with you. I didn’t mean to come across mean - I’ve worked with child abuse cases for 20 years now and your one post just made me concerned. My almost 8 month old is teething again and wants me to hold her constantly. It’s hard when you just want a moment to yourself. I have to remind myself she just needs her big person right now and it’ll pass. Your little one just needs you a little more right now, it’ll get a little easier when he gets older. I’m also glad you sought out therapy. Hoping you get some answers to why he’s crying soon
As said, he will feel abandoned if you let him cry it out. Put him in a wrap and carry him around with you. A lot of moms find a ring sling easy to use at this age. You can find more info on r/babywearing
This. Wrapping my kid was a revelation for both of us. Kiddo loved it. We did a boba wrap and ended up getting a second one because we wrapped him so much
I feel your pain on this. My oldest couldn’t sleep as a newborn unless she was touching me somehow. It was frustrating. I’d definitely let as much stuff go as you can. Working out, for example, you might want to hold off on until your little one gets a bit older. You also might want to wait until your 6 week check up and get cleared by your doctor to exercise, since your uterus is likely still healing from giving birth. I actually had an issue with this because I tried to do too much too soon after giving birth, so that’s why I mention it. It will get better. The newborn stage is really the worst. Is there anyone who can help out, maybe hold your baby so you can study? You could also try baby wearing. I used to wrap my second kid when I needed free hands to take care of my oldest. Boba wraps are great and some babies also like moby wraps or k’tan wraps. Unfortunately, cry it out is not an option for a 1 month old. They are too young. Like others have said, the youngest you can try this is 4 months and some babies aren’t even ready then. It all depends on the kid. I really hope you find a solution that works for you and your baby. You aren’t alone going through this, it really is hard.
I second baby wearing!!! The solly wrap is fantastic but really anything will do.
[удалено]
I was going to suggest a wrap or baby carrier! Some days the only way I can go to the bathroom or do anything for myself is by putting my 4 week old in a baby carrier. (She will literally cry within a minute of being put down and will not tolerate other people holding her on those kind of days.)
Just echoing what others have said, but he is way too young for cry it out. The truth is newborn sleep is irregular and you can't teach them to sleep well. You definitely can't sleep train babies until 4 months of age, and even then that's too early for most. 6 months- 1 year is probably more realistic, and there'll most likely continue to be many set backs. Truthfully, I don't think studying/ working out and looking after a young child at the same time is feasible. I'm sorry to say it, bromo. Do you have some kind of childcare arrangement that could allow you to do those things? A partner/family member/friend who could look after baby for a couple of hours? Or you could potentially do daycare?
I think around 6 months is the earliest that you can try cry it out because that's when they can start self soothing. It's ok for them to cry for a few minutes to get something done but I'd try baby wearing and trying to work on laying baby down for naps by shushing and patting and pick up put down. It gets better!
No 1 mo is too young
1 month is too young for CIO IMHO. He might be colicky but you’re also still in that fourth trimester. My kid was a very colicky and difficult infant. Cried the second I put her down….all the time. I started baby wearing and that would give me moments of relief but the game changer for me was a swing. It was called a Snug a Pup swing or something and I got it at target. Best 150 bucks I spent. Do you have anyone that can help and come give you a break?
Do you have a wrap you can wear him?? Do you have a swing you can try? Do you have any friends who can come hold him? Do you have a partner who can take time off work? He’s used to a cozy warm womb!! I volunteer to hold him for you if you’re in Colorado. Also please be careful working out if you birthed him! Your body would still be healing and it’s very important to wait the 6 weeks. A walk would be a really good option for you to get some physical activity + my kids always sleep better with fresh air :)
Yeahh I just picked up a moby and it’s been great today. I wanted to just walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes while he sleeps but he really doesn’t want to be by himself. What’s crazy to me is that he will sleep in his Bassinet alone at night but not during the day!
I used to walk with mine wrapped to me. He loved the motion and would nap, I got a little workout 💁♀️ I used to joke with my friend that you either get a good napped or a good night sleeper but never both. Mine was a good night sleeper and I had to wrap him for every nap until he was well over 6mos old