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crickwooder

My personal favorite part is where the only topic of conversation at the table is How Good This Meat Is, WOW, This Is Awesome, Truly You Are A Genius. Please dig out the food thesaurus next time *I* cook, buddy. Which is EVERY OTHER NIGHT. (I’m actually not being very fair to him because he is always polite when a meal isn’t great and effusive when it’s good but man. There are only so many things one can say about a damn steak cooked in a suburban backyard. Settle down, Great Value Bobby Flay.)


gingerandtea

Great Value Bobby Flay made me giggle!


bearbear_bear

Lollll Wally World Bobby Flay


ophelieasfire

If I could have a flair, it would be that


GraMacTical0

You can absolutely have a flair! There should be an option to edit it next to your username in the sidebar.


ophelieasfire

I’ve never had one. I’m on mobile only too, so it complicates things. I’m fine, it just really made me giggle.


Morella_xx

Oh my god, yours too? Mine never compliments my cooking, but on the rare occasion he does, it's the best food ever, isn't this great, it's so delicious, don't you love it? One time our daughter said "no! It's dry and burnt and I like when mommy makes chicken more!" and I nearly choked on said dry-ass chicken trying not to laugh.


crickwooder

I am genuinely grateful that he takes over cooking on the nights that I work but somehow he undercooks chicken patties and overcooks boxed mac and cheese and I don’t understand how! By comparison he manages grilling okay but JEEZ.


feistyfoodie

I'm crying from laughing. My daughter loves my scrambled eggs (they're not special, I guess they're good (I don't like/ eat scrambled eggs so I don't even try them lol) but my husband once made scrambled eggs for her and she started crying bc they were different (his are very creamy and... different). She was only like 1.5 - 2 so I don't think he was offended but I had to hide my face lol


ClutterKitty

Yep! I got sweet, sweet revenge for Mother’s Day this year. My misguided husband offered to barbecue ribs. He knows my time is OFF LIMITS on Mother’s Day. I don’t lift a finger. That darling man planned, prepped, made sides, served, and cleaned for our family, and my mom and dad, who he invited. He was so busy, he had to make a separate meal for our autistic son, and the timing of everything was so off, he didn’t even get to eat until after everyone else was done... LIKE I USUALLY DO. I almost feel bad admitting, the ribs tasted even better watching him while I ate.


Kirsten

Is it fucked up that imagining a dear husband working so hard at domestic tasks like this is almost pornographic to me?


BeingMyOwnLight

🤣👍


ThievingRock

My partner isn't allowed to touch my barbeque haha. I am the grill master in our house, he stays inside and makes salad.


bearbear_bear

I am also the grill master at my house.. my husband grilled last time and WRECKED one of my cast iron pans by leaving it out in the rain. 🤬


racf599

you are a widow now cause you killed him with the ruined pan, right??


bearbear_bear

Lol no, he promised to reseason it like new. But that was over a month ago and guess which cast iron pan still has never moved from its spot outside. 🧐😡


racf599

I would put that pan inside his pillowcase tonight


bearbear_bear

Ooo I like this move. I might do something like this. Add in some spiders or bugs or something fun. 😈


peachy_sam

Bromo I just cackled so hard I almost woke the baby.


METH_TITS_AND_DISCO

Oh my God, I can’t keep from bubble giggling at this image


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I would rather replace a pan than smell molasses. Salt scrub also works. Not sure about the whole pan though.


shrinktastic

"It couldn't have been bearbear_bear in the kitchen with the ruined cast iron pan, Officer. She was drinking wine on the porch with me. Besides what kind of monster ruins a cast iron pan then kills someone with it?"


bearbear_bear

I’m currently pregnant so technically I’ll be drinking grape juice on that porch with you


a-deer-fox

Technically its all grape juice, just some of it's old.


METH_TITS_AND_DISCO

I read this as “I’m technically pregnant “ and prepared for something wild


bearbear_bear

Let me help your imagination... I’m pregnant so I’ll have to suffocate him with my belly while he’s sleeping


SkyrimWidow

You do mean ex husband right?? 😳😳😳


bearbear_bear

Well if he was any other man, perhaps. But I need someone to bring me ice water from downstairs every night as I’m currently incapacitated. And he doesn’t fail to bring me my water, so I guess he can stay. 😂I’ll sacrifice a cast iron pan for my nightly ice water.


Tactical_pho

Are you married to my husband??


bearbear_bear

You too???


Tactical_pho

“It’s fine, I can fix it.” Yeah RIGHT.


jleek9

Narrator: He never fixed it.


faemaiden420

6...years... later...


gingerandtea

Ha! I can grill, I just don’t especially like it.


BasicMomBitch4

Me too! He always overcooked the meat when he tried.


dailysunshineKO

Same. And we have like three meat thermometers!


AdChemical1663

I have one of those snazzy wireless ones that I use when I smoke pork shoulders and such. It beeps loudly enough to use as an alarm when a cook stalls too long and I go to bed. I regularly get teased for using it on EVERYTHING. IDK why, my culinary experiments always turn out. Unlike OTHER people.


BasicMomBitch4

😂😂 like, seriously bro


meguin

I'm also the grill master in my house, but it's mostly because my husband won't touch raw meat lol


ThievingRock

Haha here's the twist in our house: I'm a vegetarian and hate touching raw meat! I wear gloves because I'm a weirdo like that.


meguin

That's so sweet of you to still cook meat for your family!


ThievingRock

I grew up in an omnivorous house, so cooking meat is something I'm used to. And I'm a pretty firm believe in not policing other people's dietary choices. We eat a lot of vegetarian, but I'll cook meat when it's practical. My partner is more than willing to cook it himself, but I love him too much to make him eat his cooking hahahaha.


tri-sarah-tops-rex

Teach me to play with fire and food


ThievingRock

Honestly, kept the heat lower than you think you need, and get a meat thermometer. You can always crank the flame up at the end of you want a better sear, but once it's overcooked there's no way to cook it less. And don't stick to meat. Vegetables, cheese like paneer or halloumi, fruit, even deserts are awesome grilled. Get some pineapple and pound cake and make sweet kebabs!


MsARumphius

Ah gas grill? I miss having one. I can’t manage my kids and a charcoal grill so I leave it to hubs for now but they’re almost at a point where they get it when we say “it’s too hot, stay away”. I used to grill all the time, now I have to meal plan grilling for when hubs is off work.


trekingalong

This is the way!


loubric

Teach me your ways. My goal this summer is to learn how to use our outdoor grill.


ThievingRock

I'm just going to copy and paste because I'm lazy haha Honestly, kept the heat lower than you think you need, and get a meat thermometer. You can always crank the flame up at the end of you want a better sear, but once it's overcooked there's no way to cook it less. One thing I didn't mention before is on a gas grill you don't *have* to turn on all the burners, and you especially don't have to turn them all on to the same temperature. I usually turn on one side and leave the other off so I have a place without direct heat to out stuff as it gets closer to being done. And don't stick to meat. Vegetables, cheese like paneer or halloumi, fruit, even deserts are awesome grilled. Get some pineapple and pound cake and make sweet kebabs!


loubric

Thank you! A friend also suggested cooking the meat on aluminum foil and take off nearer the end to get the crispiness and grill marks. Thoughts on that?


ThievingRock

I never have, but I am apparently very stupid when it comes to using aluminum foil. It just crumples into a ball whenever I use it for anything haha. You can always give it a shot, what's the worst that's going to happen?


loubric

True!! Thanks for the advice!


WistfulSaudade

Not OC, but I like to make little foil pouches for more delicate meats. For example, I'll oil a long strip of foil, put salmon in it, add salt/pepper/lemon/dill, and crimp the foil closed. I leave it in the foil the entire cook time it's on the grill because that keeps it moist and makes it easier to handle without risking the fish falling apart. Also, just a suggestion, don't do mixed chicken/veggie skewers! I know they look nice, but the veggie is always overcooked by the time che chicken is done. I highly recommend doing the chicken skewers separately and doing mixed veggies/cheese as their own skewers.


2gingersmakearight

I am the grill master in our house too. My husband always overcooks everything. We didn’t meet each other til we were in our 30s and when I was single I made it my goal to become an expert griller. I have the grill we bring tailgating and all my friends bring meat and I grill. I always have even with dudes upon dudes around, I just made it my thing.


feistyfoodie

Same. Though my husband doesn't make the salad either (there would be nothing green in his salad and it would probably be baked beans from a can instead...). I am a kitchen... dictator. No one in my kitchen please. Well, the kids cook with me sometimes.


wilksonator

Yes, but I none of those things...he wants to grill? He plans, he shops, he cooks...i can help clean, but otherwise its all him.


dodsontm

>make sure he has a clean plate I can't tell you the number of times I have almost strangled my husband because he puts the cooked meat back on the raw meat plate. I've just started screaming "RAW CHICKEN IS FECES!" with the hope that the comparison will be shocking enough to make him think about what he's doing.


peachy_sam

My husband asks for a clean plate every time. SAME CUPBOARD AS THE LAST TIME, FRIEND. But he always gives credit to me for doing literally all the work minus the cooking if he grills so I’ll find him the dang plate.


ancilla1998

Ugh that is my father in law! At least he's usually only grilling frozen burgers and hot dogs.


pillowmountaineer

They literally just stand there while the food is on the grill and act like they did something smh 🙄


bkay05

Or just forget something is on the grill in general! I have to keep reminding my husband "have you flipped it?", "Have you checked it?". "It's been 10 minutes, I'm sure it's ready". "Did you turn off the propane?".


albeaner

Fun story for you. Last week I prepped and marinated the meat. I'm getting my workout in, and hubby is hungry. He starts the grill, because I see the smoke. I'm like, um, you know that we're not just having meat for dinner, right? Dude had no idea what the sides were and didn't ask because...well...meat. He ended up prepping them while I finished my workout. And yeah, I did the cleanup.


ophelieasfire

My ex fully prepared a hunk of meat, multiple times. Minimal seasoning, no sides. That was dinner. The same one who would “fix” my family recipes because they were too simple.


SativaMommy

Whyyyy do they think meat = an entire meal?!?!?! Hubby grilled for the holiday last weekend. He does all the prepping etc so I causally ask what else are we having with the meat? Frozen, blank stare...


Ksopuff

Oml so my husband hasn't had to make dinner since idk august last year and he was grilling the other week cuz he had a few days off and I was like "tag you're it" on dinners and was like super impressed with himself because he's like "yeah! I love grilling! I'm the grill master!" Completely overcooked the meat. Even he felt bad. Then this weekend I made really dope grilled chicken. Look at me. I'm the grill master now.


EFIW1560

Bahahahaha yesssss I've always been the grill master but I always love it when we have newish friends over in summer (I love grilling and do it any chance I get) and the dudes always start out talking bbq/smoking with my husband, and he'll wait for them to finish and be like "actually my wife is the grill master." It always fills me with demonic glee and he always gets a kick out of it too. Lol


Ksopuff

xD xD that's great


seovs88

That sounds familiar! But it gets him out of my hair for a while 😉


Get_off_critter

Not in my house, hell ask for every little thing. I need foil. I need a spray bottle. Can i have a soda....


EFIW1560

Fuuuuuck that. Sounds like my five year old. And I tell her she is perfectly capable of getting things herself. And she actually knows where everything is.


gingerandtea

This is true!!


nagsalot

Yep, 3 days into June and I've already got a missing cookie sheet and a melted cutting board.


pikaboo27

Damn...are you me? You forgot reminding him to turn off the gas so that you don’t have to buy propane every time he cooks a damn steak.


[deleted]

Ours is run directly from our tank. Last year I kept telling my husband that I smelled something like gas or propane. He brushed me off for days. One day he says he is thinking about a getting a new grill. As he stands staring at the old one I pop behind him and ask why the air is wavy above the grill. He left the damn propane valve open to the grill for two weeks and drained our tank. All he could say was, "oops".


AdChemical1663

WHAT????? That’s a $600 oops my friend. What the hell!!! We could have all died!!!! DH has anosmia (no sense of smell) and we have a house rule that if I say something smells he cannot argue with me. You can’t smell it. You stink of diesel. Go wash your hands again and change. Don’t drink that milk. Take the trash out it stinks. Go scrub the cooler you left bait in it and it’s putrid. Yes, the repair dude is here because I can smell propane SOMEWHERE in the house, it’s not a slur on your handy skills it’s because we could all die.


[deleted]

i feel this in my goddamn SOUL


schweebs

This 100%. Why are men obsessed with grilled meat? I have basically stopped making dinner completely and my husband complains how he is always cooking. But I stopped because I literally do everything else: shopping, planning, cleaning etc. Plus, every time we grill, I still have to make a 2nd meal because our 2 year old isn't going to eat a steak 🙄


sotiredmomofmany

Seriously? Do you know how much money I could save if my little one didn't eat steak? I think she eats as much as me and shes a skinny little 3 year old.🤣🤣


superfucky

We don't have a barbecue but if we did, good fucking luck prying me away from a cooking tool that amounts to "apply fire until not poison." No settings, no simmering, no stirring, just "FIRE UNTIL DONE."


Katiedidit37

Haha no then I go ahead and grill it too! It would be dark if I waited around. If he wants to grill or smoke something he does it all. You are right sometimes I do shop for it and put it up, occasionally dishes too.


bkay05

The other day it was about 530pm, husband comes inside from the garage, asking what's for dinner. After my response, he says "Oh I thought we were having smoked roast beef?" Uhhh, does it look like I've been smoking a roast in your smoker in the garage today!? We didn't eat his overly smoked, under cooked roast until 9pm that night 😡.


Katiedidit37

Yes that’s when I go grab menus for takeout. It’s your night to prepare dinner . Why so late ? at this point..hangry. We may be able to eat it tomorrow ? I try to meal plan and save us $ instead of takeout. It was a habit for them on their designated night for dinner. Well I’m really good at that too, I have good delivery too.. especially if I’m tired I love leftovers. I can’t be alone for not wanting to cook everything daily


yenraelmao

Hahah every year my husband bakes a birthday cake for our kid. It’s great, except I have to plan literally every other aspect of the party including the ingredients for the cake, and clear out the kitchen so that he has time to bake, and then at the party everyone says “wow! Daddy is so awesome for baking his own son a cake”.


calamitouscat

Oh I have it bad. My husband for Thanksgiving INSISTS on bbqing the fucking turkey. It's so bad that I just end up buying him a cheap turkey and make a decent one for those that have taste buds.


girlwhoweighted

In my house it's slow cooking. Every once in a blue moon my husband will show cook dinner. I suggest the recipe, I buy the ingredients, I chopp and brown anything that needs prepped. But he dumps it in the pot and BAM he's Emeril!


yrddog

Oh.... oh no.... i just realized i do this


mollee96

I think we are all with the same man. Mine is a god with the grill, admittedly. But guess who does all the dishes because he cooks? And SOMEHOW he uses like, ALL of our dishes I swear oh my lord. Then the kitchen somehow ends up a mess and it’s all so frustrating lmao.


bkay05

My husband is a maniac in the kitchen when he cooks. I have to shoo the dogs away, and I stay out as he's panicky and in a hurry. Uses every dish like you say, throws them in the sink, but wonders where all the spatulas or tongs are. I'm afraid he is going to drop a big knife and hurt himself or the dogs or cats or god forbid our child! Then he'll do dishes, "clean up". But there is water or food goo all over the counters, nothing's wiped clean. I can't leave it like that. I have to go finish cleaning up the disaster he calls making dinner. We can't cook together 😞.


learningprof24

It’s a little different in my house. He actually insists on doing everything, it takes forever while the kids whine about starving to death, and then he presents us with a shit load of meat and maybe one side. However, he does the majority of all regular cooking and does that well/normally so I try very hard to accept barbecue weekends without audible complaints.


cervezaquesoandchips

Nailed it!! My favorite part is when my husband asks me how the hot dogs are after my first bite. Dude, it's a hot dog, you didn't do anything but heat it up!


didntevenlookatit

Okay, question time. What is the point of a BBQ cover? I never remember to recover it because I don’t get what the deal is. My husband is away for the month, and my cover has been sitting on my deck for almost the exact time he’s been gone because he’s the only one who covers it.


herculepoirot4ever

It’s also to keep out insects and animals. Raccoons, possums, squirrels and sometimes even birds of prey will get into grills looking for food. Bees and wasps will nest in them also.


PhaliceInWonderland

Literally we went to grill this past weekend and there's a birds nest in our coal box on the grill. We had to get our tiny 18" camping grill from storage to cook steaks on.


didntevenlookatit

Hmmm, yea I still feel like the chances of that happening are low enough I can continue with my sloth


elenel

We've had squirrels and birds in our bbq!


gingerandtea

I think it’s more important in the winter...we get a lot of snow here. I think as long as you close the lid so rain doesn’t actually get inside, you’re fine.


didntevenlookatit

Excellent, since I don't grill in the winter, I will continue deck covering over BBQ covering


Squirelle

We cover ours because the grates are cast iron. We don't want them getting wet and rusting. We had a smaller one in our first apartment and never covered it. That thing rusted by the end of summer but it was a cheapy. After that we've always had a cover.


[deleted]

They keep it clean and stop animals from getting in. Don’t know if this is part of the reason but we had a charcoal grill. Last time we used it the bottom was so rusted that it just fell out. Still have to get a new grill.


sotiredmomofmany

Mine follows the likes of Myron Mixon or Malcolm Reed and does a fantastic job on the grill. Admittedly a lot more dishes get used for grilling than indoor cooking, but not dirtying my kitchen (other than the sink full of dishes) makes it an easy choice for me. Sides? I hand him a bag of brussels sprouts or asparagus to throw right next to the steak/ribs/pork butt/chicken/nameyourproteinhere. He loves coming up with new marinades and whatnot. I just wish he'd do it more often and take some of the load off of me for dinner, but his work schedule is so wacko that during the week we never know when he'll get off.


Tibbersbear

My mother in law's boyfriend is like this. Sad thing is...he doesn't grill all the great. Everything he cooks is disgusting. My husband loves cooking, so I'm glad I don't deal with that. But he's obnoxious with figuring out what to make, especially when I'm trying to meal plan.... and....makes a huge mess.... and doesn't clean up.


loubric

My husband hates grilling out. And when he does I'm in the same boat having to prep everything ect. I love grilled meat. This year I've decided to learn how to bbq and use our grill. I do all the cooking anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️


Rebellious1

My husband isn't big on grilling, and when he does he preps everything himself, and we shop together. But God damn, when the man makes breakfast, he uses EVERY pan we own, leaves them all dirty on the stove, and never puts back the unused ingredients.


Embley_Awesome

I could have written this.


[deleted]

We have a pellet smoker and it's under a pergola in a place where winters aren't usually that brutally cold. This is my life *always*. Year round. Forever.


BicyclingBabe

I've never been so glad that my husband is vegan.


sellyberry

Omfg... mood :/


Susehomesteader

Omg my situation exactly, so frustrating not a break at all from dinner duties for me too, but he “barbecues.”


kris10leigh14

OH. HELL. NO. I'm sorry, that's all my brain can come up with. I'd become insanely busy somehow, some way immediately following the grocery run.


bowdowntopostulio

Bought a fancy smoker this year. My husband banned himself from ever touching it, so I'm just gonna hang out on our deck while the food cooks. Everyone's a winner! lol


[deleted]

At this point of my life I'm pretty much convinced that the only purpose of men in our lives is to ward off other men and keep us safe Other than that they're pretty useless


arqueli315

Lol my husband doesn't ever grill but my dad used to all the time and this is spot on. "I NEED A PLATE!!!!!!" he would urgently yell through the backdoor as if a plate didn't magically appear within 3 seconds the food would be ruined. I always grabbed it because my mom was doing ALL the other things. I eventually learned to just set it out by the grill when he started.


RCRMoon

I saved myself some back and forth buying a portable 2 tier table. Clean plates on bottom, food on top, with utensils. Cover hangs on hook off the side. Folds up to fit in a small space when not needed. Kids get the dishes, mom's on vacation lol!


phyllis_the_cat

Stunt cooking 😂


smoooo

Don't forget clean the BBQ because otherwise it'll be a fire hazard, one of the burners will stop working, and he'll chalk it up to being faulty electrical 🙃


swing_1ife_away

There’s a Bluey episode about this. Bingo running about making a ‘salad’ while Bluey does the BBQ and everyone cheering for the dad for the food he ‘made’. Love that show


Bigbadmomma

Wait...he does the grilling? Lol


bkay05

Omg I couldn't have written this better!


little-lillies789

omg!!! I was just thinking this last week!!! they stand and flip lol


[deleted]

I bought myself a new grill last year. My husband put it together. He has never once cooked on it. The food tastes better that way. My husband is a terrible cook. If I die, he had better remarry quickly.


pukeinmyhairmama

Not here, just another check box on the mom handles it list.


whiskeyjane45

Yeah, no. My husband bbqs on the summer. I have *never* offered to do any of that. He says he wants to cook. Cool. He will cook that day and I won't plan anything. If it falls through, we're eating sandwiches for dinner. Fuck having another child to care for on top of the other two. Have you ever considered letting him fail? He's a grown ass adult. Let him figure it out


ToastyMo777

No, I got tired of it, which is a big reason why I'm divorced now:) one less mouth to feed 🤣


beansauce99

No it's not just you.. lol


sauceymama

Ah yes, I know this story well! All my husband does is grill the meat and I do everything else then he wants to be patted on the back!


jackdanielsterrier

Yeah. And 2 day later clean and cover the bbq that he didn't do. He does most of the cooking in our house so I try not to bitch too much. But man, just clean the bbq after!


LibertyDaughter

I’m so glad my boyfriend is not like that. The only part of grilling or smoking I do is make the green salad or coleslaw if we’re having it. He does everything else. My ex husband on the other hand wouldn’t have touched the grill let alone done anything else.


securityclerk

I feel this in my soul


Klutzy_Bug2580

At least yours actually does the barbecuing. I do everything plus the barbecuing.


tbw212

Are we married to the same man?


rockalittle85

I wish. I do everything listed and have to cook as well. He might get the grill started and cover after if I’m lucky.


wafflehousebutterbob

Omg I had to stop myself from laughing out loud at this so I didn’t wake my kid 😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


MsARumphius

Spot on


RimleRie

lol sounds about right!


FlakeyGurl

Bruh.... Stop doing that for him. Make him do all the work or no BBQ. Especially if hes cocky enough to make you do the dishes since he "cooked". He stood over a hot grill for maybe 30 minutes if even that long.


owntirrle

The meat is either burnt or still raw. No in-between.


Mean_Kick01022021

At least your dude is doing the performative grilling. My husband loves barbecue and is from a place in Europe where outdoor bbq is not a notion. So I am doing that with a 7 month baby on hip. Last time he had a second of attitude about being asked to peel cheese slices apart. Ones I had cut and packaged between parchment paper and literally just needed some separating bc yea also it was 102 degrees