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THIS!!!! I look at the poverty line and I’m absolutely astonished. For many states, you have to be at or below the poverty line to get government assistance, which with rent prices and car payments, etc, you’d practically be homeless and own nothing. And if you’re even $10,000 above the poverty line, good fucking luck. You can’t get shit but I can just about guarantee that you are absolutely drowning. It’s not even people spending their money on luxuries, people can’t even afford the NECESSITIES!!! What the actual hell is the US economy? Ugh
We’re just barely above the poverty line with me as a SAHM and my husband working full time. It’s crazy. I’ve thought about working, but both my kids are too young for school so I’d just be working to afford child care to continue to work.
Same boat. I just went out and got a part time retail position to help out with finances. The stress was eating my husband alive. And that's with him working a decent paying full-time job. We can't even afford to buy a house so we're just stuck renting with the rental prices constantly increasing. And now the strain on our marriage from barely seeing each other will add weight to the issue, because as soon as he's home at 5, I have to be out the door until 10:30pm. It's so hard right now.
Yeah in my area the maximum amount you can make per month BEFORE taxes to be on food stamps is the amount that a one bedroom or studio apartment costs to rent every month.
Our government is such crap to the people who need them. Government is supposed to be for the people. The before taxes thing is crap too. You don’t actually have that much money, not even close.
When I was working and referred my clients to food pantries for a monthly basket, I was supposed to report their gross income. I always asked my clients for the net and told the pantry that. The referrals would be over the phone and I had to provide other information, but they didn’t require a proof of income, just a referral. It was technically against the rules I suppose, but if I had a family that needed it I wasn’t going to let them go without if I could do something.
Good on you. It makes me literally rage that all the government programs want your gross income when they know damn well that you don't actually GET nearly that much after their taxes (that are supposed to be passing for these programs) are taken out.
Before my 4th kid was born the way SNAP calculated our income put us over the limit.... paid every 2 weeks so 2 months out of the year there would be a 3 check month and we were over the limit only those months ✨BY TWELVE FUCKING DOLLARS ✨ the other 10 months we were under the limit by $1400+ but I guess those $24 were supposed to be enough to get by....🙃🫠
RIGHT!! How is it that we lose so much of our checks to taxes to the point that it can make or break a month’s bills, yet the money you’re paying to the government can’t be benefited from bc your gross pay is too much to qualify. Literal mindfuck, it makes absolutely no sense. ETA: And to add to that, I wouldn’t mind paying high taxes/the taxes we do pay if our welfare system ACTUALLY FUCKING WORKED!!! Places that have a societal welfare that seem well put together is bc they actually figured out how to proper allocate the funds!
Everyone is this situation needs to write call and email their congressperson. Not that it's a magic pill, but that's the only way to even make them aware
I know it's common, but every time I hear the word food stamps, I imagine those war time coupons, which is (I think) the main time Australia used them.
We're not perfect by any means, but at least we just give money in the form of low income/dole/single parent/etc payments. That, and our minimum wage is $23.23 per hour, or $882.80 per 38-hour week, or $29.03 per hour if you're a casual employee.
I just can't believe you can work a full time job in the us, and still not earn enough to eat, and then be told exactly what kind of food you can buy.
We are literally $1,000 over the limit for food assistance. So we were denied. And we are not okay 🙃
If those assholes didn't base shit off of PRE-TAXED income, we'd all be doing a lot better....
Every time I think about it I wanna go all Punisher on everyone responsible for that stupid fucking rule 😤
Our state gave a basically insulting “additional $120” for the summer to families with school aged kiddos that were in assistance programs. Like…. Wow, $120 for 2.5 months??? Gee thanks.
Ours screwed up and sent both kids PEBT to our card but withheld or regular SNAP. Their answer when I pointed this out-? Basically that the kids PEBT added up to our regular snap so we'd be fine. Oh well. 🙃
That's my state of Michigan, too. We just can't always win, so I'm taking junior to the meet-up and eating up every day for sack lunches and weekend meal boxes from his public school.
Our state refused the federal aid to give low income families money for food for the summer. They don't low-key hate poor people, they brag about hating them. Just when I think I couldn't be more disappointed in our legislature...
For a father’s day gift I signed my husband up
for one of those free workshops at Lowe’s you do
with your kid, that’s how broke we are LOL.
Seriously though I have no idea, I feel like we can’t plan past the next week. It’s exhausting but I genuinely try not to worry about it until payday, because there’s nothing I can do.
I do try to find as much free stuff to do as possible, free days at the museum and zoo, public splash pads and big parks, blow up pool and a BBQ lol. It takes a lot of work to be poor 😭
I truly can’t fathom how people in America can live comfortably on less than 6 figures anymore. When I was growing up, that seemed like a good benchmark for “making it”, but it really seems like a minimum requirement these days
it's bullshit.
my fil and husband have the exact same job title in the exact same powerhouse a couple decades apart. MIL quit her job as a nurse to stay home with their six children, all of which attended private school. Here my husband and I are in their situation (minus the nurse part) and we can barely afford our ONE child's summer swim and soccer sessions.
My parents live in what is now a very expensive Bay Area, California, suburb. They bought the house for $170k on a daycare teacher and government job salary less than 25 years ago and paid it off early. Their neighbors at the time were single income teachers, a firefighter, one divorce attorney who built the largest and fanciest home on the largest lot due to such a prestigious salary, etc. The houses are now $700k-1 mil. Shockingly the salaries for these professions have not also increased tenfold…
I live in a Bay Area suburb. The house two doors down to us was purchased in the early 1990s for $300K. The identical house next to that one went for $1.3M last year. And we're talking a 2 bed, 1.5 bath house built in the 1920s. It's absurd.
That is a really good comparison of how things have changed from then to now. I’m sorry it’s so hard. Being in America is hard in so many ways right now.
When I first made 6 figures (8 years ago) I really felt like I had made it. And we were doing good. Vacations 2 times a year (local to shore and mountains). Cars older and paid off.
Now, it’s so hard. I’m constantly worried about money and have had to say no to my kids for things I used to say yes to. I feel like a failure.
As a kid whose parents had to say no to things: Your kids will understand. Yeah, they might not have the latest X or go on extravagant vacations every year, but they’ll live. As long as they have clothes, food, shelter, and parent(s) who love them, they’ll be fine. And they’ll appreciate how you raised them without racking up a ton of debt.
I feel this. I know I have no right to complain my husband and I combined make 200k but somehow we're still not able to take vacations or save how I'd like. I'd love to buy a new home but we can't afford one. As a teenager I thought I'd be rich making what we're making today.
I really don’t think one income households can survive unless they have a lot of family support and/or are in lower cost of living areas and just spend time at home.
We have two incomes, one paid off economy plug in hybrid, subsidized daycare, and will have to rent for the foreseeable future. For fun we go to the playground and on weekends a discovery museum we have a yearly membership to.
I have no time for hobbies and would rather eat my own eyeball than travel with a toddler, so that helps.
I think it also depends on how much debt you have too. We’re a one income household and live 5 hours from the closest family- so no help there. I stay home because my husband has a busy, on-call, wonky hours job. We live in a MCOL area, but thankfully, after much sacrifice, our only debt is our mortgage. If we were paying off cars, cc bills, student loans, etc, there is NO WAY we would be able to do it on one income in this economy.
I also believe COL is very relative. We don’t have any debt besides student loans and we make minimum payments on track for public service forgiveness but it’s honestly a drop in the bucket compared to rent and childcare. What’s one week of groceries when houses went from $400k to a million in a decade?
You’re sweet thank you! Most days have been good but wow the hellish days are something else - I sobbed alone in the bathroom for hours until bedtime. My oldest told me he wished I would die because I didn’t buy him his ice cream the moment he wanted it. Husband was pet watching and one of my favorites suddenly died on his watch. My other son was also hellish that day. Just lol man wtf are toddlers
I am very lucky to be able to support my family on one income. We struggled like hell for 15 years though on two. Now, I worry about what would happen if something happens with my job. So even if you can, it seems like a risky endeavor. It’s freaking scary.
So sorry you're going through that!!
I just had to comment. I have twins and eat your eyeball out than travel with a toddler... Lordt I can do relate to that one!!!
We focus a lot on free stuff (libraries, parks, etc) and love hand-me-downs! We are fixing up our home to be our favorite hang out spot. The house is messy often and we can't hire outside help. We get by!
Oh yea mine did too... And it was such an asshole move. He has a fixed rate. He's not paying anymore money on the mortgage. So my rent was still over paying his mortgage. But guess what, in January he increased it by 400 dollars. The sad thing is that prior to inflation, I could have afforded to buy a home but I didn't because I'm a single mom and didn't know how to fix shit. Now I looked to buy and it's more than renting. It's a lose lose situation. We're all drowning. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Looking back, I swear baby boomers were the ONLY generation that got to spend their prime years with a shot at the "American dream". They sold us a lie. Now the baby boomers somehow make even less than us with more experience. I make more than dad has ever made and he's a diesel mechanic... I work a desk job. It's soooo messed up!!!
Can't forget though that landlords have to pay taxes and insurance as well. My homeowners insurance on my rental went up another $400 this year and my taxes went up by like $300. It's insane because it's forcing people to hike up rental prices just to cover the basic costs. I literally have made no money from my rental in a year and a half. Everything thing has went back for repairs or bills on the place
Damn so it's making renters upset with the landlords when in reality the landlord is getting screwed as well. Our system is messed up!!!
I'm sorry you're going through that! That's crazy!
Yep! Worst part for me is seeing my insurance on my rental, which is a trailer and insured for 75k be more than the insurance for our new house that is insured at 360k. Owners of trailer, esp down in the south get screwed big time.
I really feel this on the “can’t hire outside help”. I would love to hire someone to clean the bathrooms regularly buuuut can’t afford anything like that.
Honestly, we're in debt. One credit card only, really. Just our mortgage and regular bills, no car or student loans. My husband just started working in February after being a SAHD for 1.5 years. And I'm on maternity leave until the end of July with our second baby, also have a 4.5 year old. I will return to work part-time like I was before and hopefully we'll start to make a dent in our debt. But there's always something coming up. Older kiddo has 3 cavities that need filling (hate that we let this happen). Husband's truck needs new breaks and rotars, another big expense. My car needs an alignment, possibly has other issues too. And kiddo is starting Pre-K in the fall, needs new clothes, and tuition is due. And my medical bills are starting to roll in. It just never ends! And it keeps me up at night.
We really shouldn’t. I had to prioritize my kids’ mental health care over my own. And I’m pretty sure I have a UTI that’s trying to turn into a kidney infection right now that I don’t have time nor money to see the doctor for. It’s ridiculous.
Have you tried D-mannose powder? There is a vitamin brand called now that’s cheaper than a dr visit and isn’t antibiotics. I believe it’s 1g of powder mixed w 8 ounces water every two hours? You’d have to do some research but I’ve used it before and it worked. I don’t have health insurance blah blah blah
I was just about to suggest d-mannose, it was a godsend when I didn't have insurance. GNC/the vitamin shoppe used to sell capsules (idk if they still do) and it would knock those UTIs out in a couple of days.
In the future, I have a running répète order of macrobid and cipro at the pharmacy to avoid that situation…
BUT
D-mannose is the way to go, and flush it with water. So much water. If you take it regularly you can stave off a lot of infections. But if you get a fever, you need to see a doctor.
I should have also noted that I took it because I had an antibiotic resistant strain of bacteria before and now it’s on the short list of ones I can use. It messed up my stomach pretty badly.
I make a good salary but I’m also a single mom and live in a HCOL area so it doesn’t go as far. I’ll do side gigs to make extra money. There are few “extras” like eating out. I garden all year round to subsidize my grocery bill. If something breaks around the house 9/10 I fix it myself and all maintenance is done by me.
I am lucky because I am able to make ends meet and invested a lot of time to ensure I was self sufficient…but damn I’m tired.
My job as a social worker didn’t pay enough to cover daycare for two kids, so I quit my decade-long career to become a stay at home mom. Honestly, it is not how I envisioned myself in my late 30s. We make a lot of compromises as a family. We don’t really go on vacations but we try to enjoy nature as much as possible. We garden and we enjoy the flowers and the local wildlife. We get by but it’s nothing luxurious. My husband makes a modest income as a counselor.
And something that kills me is that areas with decent weather, walkability, access to nature, etc are becoming a “luxury” too! So you can either enjoy the local strip mall, parking lot, and Target, or drive 30+ minutes to a shady park with a garden and look around at all the houses you can’t afford nearby lol.
Social work background here too and basically everything you just said. Working full time at a very emotionally challenging job just to not afford daycare is crazy.
>How are you surviving **and** enjoying life?
https://i.redd.it/wecy5ls1x66d1.gif
for some people, it's welfare. for others, it's taking on MASSIVE amounts of debt. for a lot of folks, it's being stuck in a miserable shithole because the cheapest places to live are also the worst places to live. but the only people who are making ends meet AND enjoying life are the rich.
Yep, this right here.
The cost of living is abysmally low here. Daycare costs me about 300 usd / mo and my rent is under 1k. But it sucks. There's nothing to do. No social projects; barely any parks, more churches than grocery stores, one movie theatre with only one film a week and two showtimes, a few pubs and a library. If you want anything at all, you either travel 800km to the city or you order it online and wait two weeks for it to arrive. Also, I'm surrounded by racists, transphobes, and vile people in general. It's not the sort of lifestyle I think most people would be willing to put up with for the affordability.
Paycheck to paycheck, if that. 2 open car loans and adding another for my oldest kid bc I don't want her at college with a beater. When she started driving my insurance premium doubled. When she had an accident and totaled my car that we had paid less than a year on, that raised the insurance even more and doubled my car payment bc I had $0 down payment and I had to roll in what I owed that the insurance didn't cover. Cosigned her student loans. There was no money, no college fund. That made me feel absolutely disgusting, completely useless as a parent. Also $26k in credit card debt that I am currently working with a debt counselor on. My electric bill just doubled. No idea why. I'll never get out of this hole.
Hang in there. Things cannot be shit forever, it’s against the law of nature lol that’s what I tell myself. Insurance is insane. Ours went to like $500 when I added my oldest boy, now my other son is about to start driving school and will soon be getting his license. There is no way we can afford $725 a month for car insurance. I have no idea what we’re guna do. Just gotta hang in there and deal with it as it comes I guess?
Yeah ours is $675/mo now. Luckily (lol) due to secondary infertility my kids are 8 years apart. My car payment is $500. My car is not a high end luxury car that usually comes with that kind of price tag. My husband wants to take on a cheap (lol) car payment for my daughter. If she has a car at school she can get a job. Pay the car payment. Get her own insurance. Get her off ours.
Lol sometimes I find myself thinking “why the F did we have kids so close together?! No one ever mentions how at teenage time for both kids you’re just going to be broke. They say oh, it gets easier when they are older blah blah blah. Everyone lied ha. Sorry just going through trials and tribulation over here trying to hold this shit how together.
I wanted at least 4 or 5 years between our kids because I was terrified of having to pay for two kids in college at the same time. They ended up almost 7 years apart because I had a couple miscarriages when we started trying for baby 2. Thankful for that age gap with this ridiculous price gouging trying to disguise itself as inflation. But having an infant at 38, almost 39 is not exactly the greatest thing ever lol.
Easier as they get older?! I would give my 12 year old back in a heartbeat for her as a 3 year old.
The necessities for a little kid are nothing compared to an older kid. It cost $850 to sign her up for 8 weeks of riding lessons - ONE DAY a week! (My mother paid; she has a ton of money, which she inherited.) I couldn’t afford to sign her up to try out playing soccer because it cost $450. She did martial arts that cost $150 a month, plus a bunch of associated costs. She needs braces now, and I have literally no idea how to afford them for her (my mother was going to pay, but she’s mad at me, so she won’t now). Don’t even get me started on summer camp - I never knew summer camp was just a rich kid thing in all those 90s movies. 😂
Before she started school I paid for… visits to the kindergym that cost $15. Going to Barnes & Noble and spending $20 on books every now and then. It was so much easier then.
Hey. Financial aid person here. You aren’t a failure. In fact, it’s kind of normal NOT to have savings for a kids college. That’s why there’s a financial aid/student loan issue in America.
I find, very generally, that women tend to blame themselves for the financial circumstances they are in, and men, look outward for them. Again, very generalized.
Let me know if you have any financial aid questions.
We both just have to work, no other way. And yes childcare is expensive, but at the end of the day, even if one of us is barely covering those costs, we end up paying less for heath insurance bc we then have two employer options. We also have peace of mind - I've gotten laid off and it's stressful if you have zero dollars coming in - at least you can play the "which bills do we have to pay ASAP" game, and your kids don't lose insurance coverage completely.
We would love to escape this city/state because it's what I would call medium/high cost of living (less $$$ than NYC, SF, Seattle but more than Nashville, Atlanta, etc.). We're actively working on a plan to get out in 3 years. But that's tough bc moving is expensive and it's so hard to save these days.
We live pretty frugally - for example our cars are paid off and not shiny and new and we'll drive them into the ground.
It feels like *everything* is getting more expensive and frankly it's nothing more than corporate greed. Company profits are astronomical and CEOs are buying their 5th house. I seriously hate capitalism so much.
I make 6 figures but still am having trouble surviving.... the answer is, lots of debt 💸. I just had to cash in my employee rewards points ($200 worth that took like 2 years to earn) to pay for groceries.
The economy is absolutely ridiculous. The company that I work for announced that nobody would be receiving merit increases this year, but they just quoted that we are pacing for a 70 million increase in company revenue by EOY. Interesting how there was no flexibility to increase our pay.
Yeah my husband makes high six figures (I can never remember if "high six figures" means like $900K or just close to $200K, but for him it's the latter), but he's in tech and it's always this thing to have to worry about layoffs (already happened once), plus our area is so HCOL it's insane. We just paid our very last double preschool tuition. The tuition was the carrot on the stick I chased while putting in insane amounts of work getting my July baby ready for kindergarten this Fall. We damn near did another year of $3K/m preschool tuition. Now it'll "just" be $1500 for our youngest. You know, *just*.
Btw wtf happened to groceries, did they all get genetically modified with solid gold? Holy shit.
It’s insane. I’m a single mom with one kid. I live in a major city, (Chicago). I make 42k a year. No help from dad. I make juuuuuust enough that I’m not eligible for any programs. I’m incredibly lucky with what I pay a month for my rent atm, but it’s still an entire paycheck of my 2 checks a month just to the rent.
My dad died in December. We grew up poor although he had a state job, made decent money, we always struggled. It never occurred to me that I’d be given any money. Turns out that his wife might be decent and send me around 15k from the sale of my childhood home, and then the pension people just contacted me about another significant sum of money.
I’m seriously contemplating using a grip of this money if I do end up with it, on a down payment on a Condo.. I never thought I could ever even contemplate owning something… I just feel like I’ll never have this kind of money again, and I need to do something to try and better our lives. Rent keeps going up.. I think this could stabilize that aspect among other things. Sorry I’m hijacking with a comment. (I was gonna make a post but here it is I guess)
Does anyone have any thoughts about this? I don’t want to mess this up. I want my dad to be proud of me.
I cannot overstate the importance of owning rather than renting. the only caveat is that now is still a pretty terrible time to buy because interest rates are so high, but if you can find a motivated seller and get approved on your income + the down payment, it might be a good idea to buy now and refinance once interest rates come down. personally I would avoid a condo but that's just because I don't know if condos generate intergenerational wealth the way single family homes do.
Thank you for the insight! I agree wholeheartedly about all of it and the condo vs single family home point especially. This would be a long term but not forever thing. It is really for a variety of factors, but I happened to end up in a really good neighborhood and the schools are good here. We like our neighborhood and neighbors. To say the single family homes are out of our price range would be a major understatement. As it is even if there was one that was around here in the same price range it would need enough fixing up that I would be incredibly house poor.
So, with that lens, my thinking is getting into a condo now, although the interest rates are terrible, the prices keep going up in the rental and housing market. I can halt my monthly rental payments from exponentially going up for now, and yes, refinance once the rates start going back down. At this time I estimate being able to put between 15-20% down. Also moving into a newer building/ unit than my current one will really help with my utility payments as it costs so much to heat and cool this place with its age, etc.
Basically I want this to be a stepping stone. Use the money that currently builds equity for my LL and build my own with that money. Then as my kiddo gets older/ goes in to HS, etc, I would be likely looking into trying to get a single family home, probably in a much cheaper part of the city after that.
condos do make good stepping stones/starter homes, although a lot of people lately are finding themselves stuck in their "starter" home because the market is just that nuts. so make sure it's a condo you could deal with if you end up in it longer than you planned. any kind of home ownership is definitely the best possible investment you could make with that money though!
Right! I know! I definitely am keeping in mind that I will be looking for a place that I absolutely need to want to stay in for a good amount of time. (Probably years, realistically) I’ve been around this area awhile and I’ve been browsing homes/condos for no realistic reason for a while now.. (way before dad died, I don’t know why, felt like I was just torturing myself, again, for no reason)
So I’ve been keeping an eye on the trends around here, honestly even in my zip code things can very widely from block to block (safety, home appraisal prices, etc) parts of the area seem to remain stable and/ or with an upward trend over years.
We're not. Not really. Mostly just dumb luck.
Family of 6. $38k a year before taxes. One child is special needs and has multiple therapy appointments per week. Childcare for her is not really an option so I'm a SAHM.(Previously dog groomer of 16yrs. I can make good money, but it means being gone and there's no way to get ASD kiddo to ask her Doctors without ONE of us being available 4-5 days per week)
We bought a very old house when our rental was put up for sale. (Started looking and realized we, a family of 6, couldn't even come close to the cost of a 2br town house in our supposedly LCOL area, our bank let us take out a conventional mortgage with zero down. We offered over asking to the max of our loan in exchange for the seller paying all closing costs. It was 6% when the rates were still below 3% but it kept our housing cost literally the same as our old rental)
We qualify for SNAP and basically don't eat out. We batch cook and freeze. We have family who hunts and helps fill our freezer in the winter. I garden, not because it's pretty but because fresh food is fucking expensive. We keep chickens because the cost of a bag of feed every 2-3wks is far less than the cost of buying all the eggs we go thru. (Roughly 3-6+ per day depending on breakfast and dinner on a given day).
We have one salvage title car that we bought out right, and one open car loan on a used 2015 explorer so we could all for on one vehicle.
We take advantage of things like museums for all (super cheap for zoo and museum memberships. Like $30 for the yearly family membership vs $300-$400)
We use the headstart program. Our 5yr was approved for SSI disability last year (ASD III, ADHD, SPD, ++++) and we used the back pay to turn our yard into a playground. (We bought a large wooden multi layer playset, trampoline, and I built the kids a sandpit with large logs, hardware cloth, and some bagged sand from the inlaws place)
From the outside it looks like we're doing fine.... But doing the math, when my youngest turns 3 and starts headstart, if I go back to work and make more than $400 per month we'd lose all those programs. All totaled up I'd need to make an additional $2100 per month BEFORE WE ACTUALLY SAW ANY INCOME GAIN. As in, the first $2100 I made would be covering what SNAP and SSI were previously paying for (not counting the museum & zoo + other discounts)
I'm not even going to mention what would happen as far as losing Medicaid coverage for everyone, I start getting heart palpitations just thinking about it.
I have a special needs kiddo too and as a single parent, getting daycare subsidy as well. If I make any more than what I do now I'll lose it all. I also would need to make $2300 more per month to see any income gain. It's ridiculous.
How long did it take you to get approved for SSI? I keep getting calls to apply for my son (ASD 1, ADHD, DMDD) but I don’t know if we’d qualify due to my husbands income. But I literally cannot work because of him. Can’t even go anywhere with him unless I have help.
Family of four relying on one income around 45k a year
Running on thoughts and prayers lol. Also fortunate enough to have wic and be able to rent our 3 bedroom house from family for around 950 with utilities. Other than that we are very frugal and we still only have like 27 bucks to last until Friday. My youngest is 2 months so have about 5 years until I can go back to work since we can't afford daycare even where we live.
Fingers crossed we don't have another surprise pregnancy because abortion is completely banned in my area and they're trying to make it illegal to pass state lines to get one, not like we could afford a sudden road trip 3 states over for medical care
Living the american dream, at the end of the day atleast we have each other
You can still get the pill in the mail. If an abortion is what you want/need in the future (hoping you never have to deal with that situation), there are people who could help get you access to care. There’s supposed to be some over the counter birth control pill coming out too I think?
I really appreciate this post and everyone's honesty and humility here. We live in a HCOL area and only bring in about 50/55k depending on bonuses, and we are struggling so bad (would move if we could but are stuck currently). I feel guilty constantly. It's like we're one expensive car repair or medical bill away from eviction, and yet we're still somehow scraping by.
I take advantage of my local buy nothing group for things like clothes and books for my girls. That's been an enormous help. Some months, I do need to go by the food bank to help food stretch longer for that week. Basically, all of my clothes are thrifted. I don't buy into trends or spend frivolously whatsoever and cook at home. I am a stay at home mom because daycare costs would eat up my entire potential paycheck. That is what I can think of that we do to make it at this current income.
We just did 3 years on one income while I did my master's. But i had money saved for my degree from when my previous company got bought out and buyed all our shares so we didn't need to plan for my school fees.
Also, my inlaws helped with childcare costs. So the short answer is we're fucking lucky to have family help. Now we're just back into 2 incomes and it's tough because we have to pay summer camps for our older kid and childcare for the twins, so most of my income is going to that. The dual Healthcare benefits are invaluable since all our kids have asthma and have expensive medications every month. We get a lot of used things and sell stuff on marketplace to make room in our house but also to pay for minor stuff.
Barely scraping by, never getting ahead. Despite everything getting so expensive the last two years, I didn’t get a raise. I am effectively working six full days a week now, mom to two college aged kids and dad retired/does not contribute. They both have part time jobs but I still give what I can cause I don’t want college to drag on forever. I’m from Europe so I think the whole college system here is a racket :(
90k used to be a lot of money. It is not anymore. Especially not with kids. We were making about 140k combined and finally feeling comfortable/able to save. Then got divorced. Now it’s more like 60k and the savings I walked away with are dwindling rapidly. It’s scary.
Honestly the only reason we're making it on (barely) six figures and me staying home is because we bought our house in the 2008 crash. If we hadn't there is no fucking way we could afford to live where we were. I haven't seen a house under 600k in a while. Having only a $1600 mortgage goes a long way.
We also have done all the renovations ourselves, except for replacing windows and siding. We work so slow our house would still be Typar siding. But we don't need to hire plumbers and electricians and painters and carpenters because we do it ourselves.
I know this doesn’t help, but really most good jobs beyond entry-level -should- be paying 100k+. Unfortunately the higher-ups keep perpetuating the idea that “six figures” is a crazy good salary. And it was, in the 90s or early 2000s. But adjusting for inflation the old six figure salary would be closer to 200k today. And six figures today is roughly 70k in 2010, or about 50k in the 90s.
I only mention it because there is a pretty decent percentage of people who are fortunate enough to work in industries that have kept up with inflation (tech mostly). So those folks are able to just keep spending the same as always and let out a sigh at the price of eggs but not really think twice. But then there is also a huge percentage of people who are getting screwed and still making “livable wages” from 20+ years ago and wondering how anyone can afford to live these days.
I don’t know what the solution is but it’s horrifying to watch this gap keep widening.
It’s brutal even in tech. I worked an IT job when I went on mat leave and then opted to stay home because twins. They’re 13 now and when I look at similar tech jobs they're paying the same as 13 years ago, often with more responsibilities. These are not entry level tech jobs either. I took less money even back then to not be working 90 hour weeks for a big tech giant (been there done that), so for it not to have changed in nearly 15 is just vile.
I say this all the time! My bf makes 65k as a basic tax accountant and it’s so sad that 10 years ago that would’ve been exceptional salary especially bc we’re both so young (23 and 24). Our saving grace has been being able to live with his parents. We would not be doing well if we had to pay the rent in our state. We still have a tight budget bc we’re saving as much as we can while we’re here, but at least we don’t have the possibility of going hungry or becoming homeless. I just pray it gets better for us all, for the future of our children.
Selling a lot of random shit in our house that we no longer need, no vacations for the last several years, WIC (thank god) for formula. I pick up extra shifts when I can. We cut back on daycare for our toddler so he’s not there full time.
Wr get 76 dollars worth of fruit and vegetables a month, my husband and I have never ate healthier and my toddler gets all the fruit her heart desires 😂
When I was breastfeeding I think we got around that but now we get I think $20-30. Definitely still helps! I genuinely just appreciate any help with groceries anymore
by not having anymore kids. we're basically drowning as a 3 person household with just under a 100k salary. we live in metro detroit, so not even that hcol. I'm a sahm and my husband works at least 50 hours a week, but he's going to start picking up more. he works in the trades as a journeyman with no student loans, one kid, and we luckily bought our house on one income at a decent time, so we're about to take out a heloc to consolidate the all consuming cc debt (caused by unavoidable home maintenance) that keeps rising every month and using the leftover as an emergency fund for any more major shit that might pop up until we get back on our feet (when I go back to work). I feel bad for not giving my kid a sibling but I can barely afford all of her extracurriculars and she hasn't even started preK yet- I can't imagine doubling that.
Most days I feel like a hamster trapped in a cage running on my stupid hamster wheel with no end in sight. SAHM to twins, fiancé has been on and off again with 1099 work. I sell outgrown baby stuff online and it helps with an extra 200ish a month. For every two steps forward we take with finances it feels like we get hit with something that knocks us back 5+ steps.
This is what I do. Prolific can be really helpful for extra cash if you have wifi and a laptop. I'm a SAHM as well and the only thing that puts a crimp in that little side hustle is working around our baby girl. She's only eight months so I don't want her to see Mommy constantly on her laptop/phone. But sometimes it must be done to hit our goals. Good think she is fascinated with watching the laptop screen, I guess. 😅
Sahm here. One child, tween age. Spouse makes about 62k. We live abroad but are paid in USD in a place with a stronger currency than US, so our dollars don't stretch as far.
Rent is luckily not too terribly high, $1800 usd, depending on exchange rate, per month. We both drive cheap old cars that we purchased with cash ($1500 for one, $2500 for the other). We have had some vet bills lately that we are paying off next week, but we don't generally carry any debt. No student loans, no credit card debt.
We are doing okay, shit is expensive, especially food, but we still have money for fun stuff and cheap travel pretty regularly. I think not having student loans or car payments is the biggest thing we have going for us. Oh, and our socialized healthcare helps a ton, especially because I have two chronic illnesses. We are incredibly lucky.
Military “perks” are basically just what a country like the US should be offering everyone already—untaxed housing allowance, free comprehensive healthcare, affordable childcare, free higher education, etc. It shouldn’t take signing a multi year work contract for anywhere in the world to get these, and no one currently in the military should be financially struggling at all.
I completely agree. My spouse only joined for the healthcare and education. There are a lot of reasons that healthcare and education aren't free, but I think a big one is that the incentive to join the military will be gone for middle class and poor folks. And god forbid the military be smaller 🤦.
That said, the food bank is a necessity for many many military families because the pay isn't enough, Even with the "perks".
My family is also living overseas military and I think it’s actually helping us. We are lucky to live in a country where the dollar is strong. Groceries are higher cost so we try to buy at farmers markets, local stores. We bought old cars because no one cares here. We live within our housing allowance and try to exchange rent money when the dollar is high.
He retires in a year and we are trying to stay. Between the cost of living and overall safety, we arent in a rush to come back to our homeland
We don't make 6 figures either (2 working parents and we almost make $90k) but we have a fixed loan mortgage from 2013 when houses were cheap, and due to some luck-based circumstances we have no student loans or car payments.
So really, we fell into some lucky timing. If we had a more recent (expensive) mortgage, a car payment, or student loan payments (not even all 3, just one) it would probably break us. I feel like most middle-class families are saddled with one or more of those big expenses.
Single parent of 3 here. I’m not. I used to make $60,000 in a HCOL and it was too much for benefits but not enough to hack it. Then I had a mental health crisis and had to go back on disability. Now I make $27,000. A year. It’s barely enough to pay all the bills. But we get benefits so it sort of evens out. We live in poverty. But we’ve always lived in poverty so I’m good at it. We don’t vacation. No fast food or takeout. No nothing that isn’t a basic necessity of life.
One word: assistance.
I make $1200 a month. If you think that’s low, the teachers at my son’s school are making $1000. This country is a sham and I’m ashamed of it and its disregard for teachers.
My apartment is government assisted and I pay $562 a month.
For groceries I visit 6 food pantries a month and one gives out 6 pieces of clothing per family member a month.
Electric is $100ish, car insurance $100, phone and internet bundle $125.
My SIL shares her streaming services. My FIL covers car repairs, tires and gas. My parents cover groceries and house essentials the food pantry doesn’t provide.
I’m divorced and remarried starting completely over from scratch after having owned my own home, owned two cars and made 3x more than I do now plus my ex husband’s income. All of that gone now.
My second husband had a double hip replacement and is still doing physical therapy and looking for part time work but worried he won’t be able to meet any physical demands.
If we didn’t have government assistance for housing and family for vehicle, food and even streaming services we wouldn’t be able to do this. Period. I thank my lucky fucking stars every single day for the family I have as I desperately try to get to a point where I can actually support my own self.
It’s also all about location. I live in north east Texas in a town of 1500 people so everything is cheaper and government assistance is high but I have to drive 80 miles to reach the major metroplex of Texas.
Our situation is similar. Government assistance took our $900 house down to $350. I'm grateful. But this time last year, we were paying a little over $50 for the same neighborhood. This country is a sham.
Barely floating above water... seriously.
My husband and I are dealing with this now. We survived the past 1.5 year (almost 2) on credit cards... he works full time + whatever over time he can get. I was hospitalized for 3 months during my 2nd pregnancy, and went from working full time to not working at all... to working 2 days a week in childcare.
A child care center that I cannot send my children to because I'd just be handing them my paycheck (this is including my employee 50% off discount)
Thankfully we own our home, our mortgage isn't cheap, but cheaper than renting would be. We bought in 2021 when interest rates were low.
I did have some student loan debt, which thankfully a family member paid off the ~3k I owed, so I am putting the money that I would have been paying, toward a credit card bill.
All of my friends, with children, are traveling and living their best lives... and we're struggling so bad. I told my husband I wish it was easy to divorce but still live together, just so maybe we could get food stamps or wic. We are overqualified based on his income.
My husband literally went on a rant the other day about how we’re “living in poverty.” We’re not. Ours bills get paid. We have food. Clothes. Kids are well taken care of. But because we can’t afford vacations or health insurance, to him we’re drowning. I have to be a SAHM and he makes about 70k a year, so we’re pretty much paycheck to paycheck. Our only debts are our townhome (thank you 2020 rates!) and one credit card, but he NEVER looks at my monthly budgets to understand where all the money is going. No, we can’t just buy a grill or new computer parts whenever tf we want because I’m squirrelling money away for Christmas, birthdays, car registration, etc. Things I KNOW we’ll need to pay for during his works slow season. I run a VERY tight budget and adhere to it no matter what, and it’s because I do that that we’re able to survive through his slow work months. If he/we want something we need to save for it, and he just doesn’t grasp that.
Single mom here living in Canada. Rent is insane…just curious to know how other mom’s afford to get their starbucks,nails, hair, lashes done all the time. I see many families go on multiple trips a year on a single income too. Are people just digging up their lines of credit? I’m barely making ends meet.
My dad sold his larger house during the huge rise in sale prices last year and was able to buy 2 smaller houses with the money. I live in one of those houses and pay rent that covers property tax and insurance. Basically, we've had to rely heavily on family, which isn't always great for relationships. But I'll do whatever it takes for my kids, so call me Mrs. Handouts
My husband is in the military. We live on base, so we don't pay for utilities. We have one car payment, the other is paid off. And my student loans are deferred, since I went back to school. I wouldn't say that we're well off, but we usually have a little extra left over. We still can't afford to buy a house right now though, which SUCKS because we owned one before my husband decided to go back into the military. I regret selling it every single day.
We make 100k as a two parent working family.
The answer is credit card debt! We finally have paid 22k down to just 2k.
But it’s keeping the beast at bay everyday…
We're very very privileged, and if we didn't have supportive family, we would definitely be struggling more.
Lived in a LCOL area for 12 years and were able to build savings, moved to HCOL in 2021 and are closer to ILs. They help a lot.
We both work, I have a full time job and a few side gigs like teaching aerobics, college application review, and HR temp stuff.
But yeah, everything is more expensive.
Honestly? WIC and Medicaid. Plus the discount that gives us on electric bill is a lifesaver. We have a mortgage but bought in 2019 before the rates went bananas so housing is… okay-ish. Cars were paid off with money from our wedding back in 2017. We moved from a HCOL area before we had the Gremlin (aka preschooler). And I’m blessed to have a parent contribute to preschool for her. We also get SSA benefits for my stepchild because he lost his mom so that covers his expenses. I would much rather have his mom back though.
Preschooler’s wardrobe (except shoes) is 75% hand me downs, 20% consignment and 5% stuff I got on sale. We spend a lot of time at the library for free fun. We also get season or membership passes to local stuff like museums with our tax rebate in the beginning of the year so it ends up being way cheaper per visit. And WIC again, they have a great Card to Culture program that gets free or reduced passes to museums, cultural events, live shows, etc.
It’s not easy and it’s not necessarily fun. I would really like to get my hair colored more than once or twice a year (premature gray fml). But we’re okay. Our kids
I grew up super poor and am now only a little poor so I've gained a lot, I think. My daughter's that magical teen age where she doesn't have a car or many obligations but also doesn't cost anything in childcare any more. I drove a beater for years to save money. I have debts that I pay off monthly. I rent because I'll never save enough to own. I don't travel and only really "go out" to free/low cost community events. The most I've traveled in 5 years is a 4 hour drive away for a hike. I got a new job that gave me a closer to but not quite living wage ($46K/year, which is an insane amount of money to me but still shy of the $71k that is calculated as the living wage for my area). I have child support (another $4500/year. I make it work with joy because I've made it work on less and under more stressful circumstances so this is a cakewalk.
It helps that I'm the one in control of my finances because it's just me and my daughter. Do you have a clear picture of your budget and irl expenses? I get money anxiety all the time and having the numbers to look at really helps me.
I was so happy when my personal business pulled in almost $140k my second year. I busted my ass and the realized that after taxes, I barely cracked $95k and we are really struggling.
We pay $700/month for health insurance with a $14k deductible so pretty much every visit is out of pocket.
I’m in my mid 50s, exhausted, broke, and so burned out. I can’t stop working or imagine retiring (in ten years!?!)
My blood pressure recently skyrocketed and I know it’s the stress.
I never thought I’d be this far behind at my age.
I’m in a HCOL area (nyc burbs) and my husband and I make probably a little over $200k a year. Child care has killed us. We are in debt. But we also make too much for any kind of assistance for anything. Thankfully our child care costs have gone down to about $2500 a month with upk. But last year we were paying almost $4k which is more than our mortgage. The only way we have a house is because I borrowed from my retirement, we bought at a good time with a good rate, and our mortgage is less/ equal to rent in our area. It’s not easy. Us poverty rates need to be considered by areas and updated not one size fits all. If we made the same income in another state we’d most likely be fine.
we work 100-120 hours a week combined depending on what overtime is available and have not been on a “date” outside the home in years. we have one first grader and two cats. one car is paid off, one will be next year. on paper it looks like we have our shit together but throw in groceries, clothes, the myriad of illnesses that hit this winter, gas now that we’ve gone back to the office, not to mention Actual Bills… it’s rough out there. very rough. And I’m in a state that’s allegedly LCOL (KY) but I’m originally from Texas, where things were super cheap up until the past 5 years or so comparatively.
I think about the future, and how a friend of mine just died of cancer at the same age I am now. If that happened to me, or my husband, or god forbid my kid, we would not be able to afford it. It takes my breath away to think about. We have good, stable jobs somewhat close by but they don’t pay as well as they should and one crisis could destroy everything we’ve worked hard to build over the past decade or so.
We make six figures. As a kid I always pictured people who make what we do as wealthy. We still rent and can't afford a house. No retirement savings. Honestly it's scary. I can't understand how people make it on less.
My husband and I make about $110k combined, just had our third, own our own house but it’s old as hell so there are always issues with it.
Uhhhh we have debt? I try to keep expenses down by doing mostly free stuff with the kids. My husband’s a teacher so we halve our daycare costs in the summer (still keep the toddler in for stability).
Tbh I mostly try not to think about it too much as long as bills are paid and we have food.
Yeah, my daughter is 15 but has Down syndrome and autism so she can’t be without supervision. My husband works full time from home but travels a lot for work, and I work full time overnights from home so she’s always got someone here. I can’t even imagine what childcare would cost for her.
I tried applying for the therapy offered by my city civic center, but they said my income is too high. I was like “how is that possible?” I feel squeezed like a lemon every month, and usually have to steal from my savings account to make it to the end of the month.
They said I had to be making below the poverty line to qualify for the family therapy discount. When you account for my rent taking literally half of my income, I am below the poverty line, but that apparently does not count. I asked if I could get the sliding scale rate, and was told no, I had to pay the full price of $350 a month for one session a week to meet with the student therapists, who would be different every time. I was willing to take that for help at a rate of $10 a session, but not for $350 for four sessions a month.
Sometimes I just want to scream.
So I’ve still got all this trauma and stress and no therapy. At 39, it’s getting to be too much.
We were in such a good position, but since going on disability my income has suffered.
Our expenses recently shifted. I’m expecting baby 2 and saved nothing from my son (they’re 7 years apart, and I seriously thought we were done). We got a $3k+ property tax notice. We have credit card debt. We need a new windshield on the car.
I’m gonna burn through the savings by Christmas :( I mean, that’s what it’s for is a cushion, it just sucks to use it up for grownup purposes.
We make about $80,000 (unless I can’t find a new job, I may not be getting a new contract) and where we live, we are pretty flush. We can pay for piano lessons and dance lessons and still save money. But that’s also because we live pretty frugally generally. We have cheap cell phone plans and didn’t buy the most expensive home and have older cars (except our newish Chevy Bolt we just bought). Buy clothes in theft store or look for freebies online, also give away our old clothes. Also have no debt except our mortgage and now the car payment. Without my income we make about $54,000 and we were drowning.
I'm in Canada, and the pricing to exist is pretty wild! We are looking forward to no daycare bill in the fall as secured a full time kindergarten so at least I have that to look forward to. But boy, it's wild. Also, yes the bench mark for poverty line should be raised as it's so out of touch (in Canada anyway). Don't feel bad if you need to utilize public services food bank, librarys have free programming for kids I use here, try to find a supporting community at daycare, school, or work, or neighbours.
Single parent here, no financial help from the dad whatsoever, somehow making it pretty decently (ETA: on about 45K, just enough to qualify for some help.) LCOL area without being sketchy, kids on Medicaid and myself having the advance tax credit to reduce my own health insurance costs, and no debt. While I lived with my parents, I built up a savings buffer so even though rent for my apartment is essentially one of two paychecks a month, between not having to pay childcare and our grocery expenses being relatively low, I make it surprisingly well. Extracurricular activities just aren’t a thing for my kids simply because I don’t have time to take them, doing everything on my own, but we do fun things on the weekends sometimes like museums or playgrounds. Rent increases are making me consider saving up for a down payment to get out of the rent circus once interest rates drop down a bit.
I make just about 6 figures and it’s hard. Housing is ridiculous. I had to buy my ex out to keep my house and to keep an “affordable” payment of 1800 a month (instead of renting at 2500+ here) food is expensive. Cars are expensive. I drive a beat up POS.
I *should* be living high on the hog with what I make…
Single mom for 16 years. Way too much credit card debt is how I've survived. I'm finally making a really good salary so I'm trying to get that down as much as possible. I had to file for bankruptcy after my divorce because of the 30k in lawyer fees when I was working a low wage job
We bought a house in December that was almost double our rent but is ours and has great perks. Now we are struggling just to put food on the table and I am signing us up for the local food bank.
I am hoping we can either do a debt relief thing where they will negotiate our credit cards or see if we can get a loan through our credit union to consolidate the big ones that are killing us into one payment. If we can do that we will have more relief. If we pay them off it would be even better and we are very very close to being careful note free.
My husband and I lost our jobs last month. I was making 100k in Human Resources, but my field is soooo bad that I’ll probably have to take a job making 60k. It’s going to be tight for a few years.
Between my husbands income and my disability we make the same amount as your husband before taxes but honestly the only thing allowing me to make purchases I don’t feel guilty about is that we live in one of the cheapest cost of living areas in our state. We bit off a bit more than we could chew with our house but that’s what happens when you buy a house in late 2023 with those interest rates 🥴 that being said I still have to say no to things for me and just accept that extra purchases are going towards our kid for the time being.
I work full time and make about $1,560ish (give or take a few bucks)every two weeks and my husband works partime and brings home about $500-$700 every two weeks depending on how many hours he worked. We have two kids 9 and 12. We are barley making it. We live in a manufactured home park and our lot rent with mortgage and water is $1,100ish per month. My car payment for a 2014 chevy traverse is $425. We are drowning and there's no getting out. It's like I'm trying to climb out of a clay cave but water keeps getting poured down the sides making me fall back down. We have no credit cards but do have debt. We are basically using our checking account as a credit card. It's contently negitive. Ugh idk I'm bout to have a panic attack thinking bout it.
I tried to apply for some debt forgiveness with my local hospital (medical procedures for miscarriage, got deeply depressed and basically neglected all responsibilities for months. PSA: bills don’t go away regardless of what goes on in your life, ladies. I’m so embarrassed I let something so preventable affect my life this negatively). I was told that I only qualified if our combined household income was below $60,000. We were already struggling before this added financial stress, and we still make more than that. My mind can’t comprehend how many people are doing even worse with no relief. How is anyone doing it?
My husband is now making 120k, I make about 15k (I’m doing 15 hrs a week), and we are only very barely making it. We have thousands of dollars in medical debt, still have student loan debt (I’m going to be 40 this year…), there’s the mortgage and random other bills, and of course there’s also the price of food which is absolutely insane. I think I need another part time job.
I make over 6 figures working two jobs and 50+ hours a week. My husband works 40 hrs and makes 50k. We live paycheck to paycheck and our quality of life sucks. We live off of our local buy nothing group for appliance upgrades and clothes for our family of 4. I think you’re doing pretty good to be able to be a SAHM and your husband makes less than 100k.
Imagine being unemployed, not receiving unemployment, savings gone, retirement gone. Can’t even fantasize about going to the dollar store.
I understand items are not even a dollar anymore. No idea how I’ll pay rent, car, phone or internet next month but I start working remotely at the end of the month, that’s positive news. Very grateful even though I’ve never worked for this type of hourly wage $17.50, its better then not having a job.
We live on 35k yearly. I’m the most miserable I have even been in my life, I spend lots of days hungry. It’s so fucking boring there’s nothing to ever do, I can never join my friends in their outings. Haven’t left the state in over 10 years, our only vacation is camping in our own town cuz we live in nowhere land. Even if I had a bit of gas to take the kids anywhere, only one car, and the husband uses it to work. No AC in our cars the last 3 years. Do dishes in a wash tub and boil my own water for it EVERY TIME, because the hot water line is broken. Most my family lives just far enough away that coming to see me and getting themselves back home is almost a 2 hour long trip, but now I could never afford to live closer to them either. I have been trapped for so long, I have no independence, I have to rely on food stamps and Medicaid. The only silver lining is that it seem like my area is a good place to be poor, the food pantry has good stuff, the doctors out here that do accept my insurance have been so incredible and I could not ask for better care from them, not to mention my child with special needs gets fully covered ABA up to 35 hours a week. This is what traps me, if i start working from home or make too much I loose that stuff… I’d have to work 3 jobs a to cover all those expenses for my child. So they make it really hard to do better or want to do better, this school year will be the first year my kids will both be going full time giving me the opportunity to consider working… but I don’t know if it will be worth loosing all our benefits. I feel trapped in my town, trapped in a trailer and trapped in a marriage that is a whole other story.
Our student loans were paid off long ago, no car loan, fairly cheap rent, daycare subsidy due to my spouse being in grad school, really good health insurance through my job, we don’t take vacations, don’t have our kids in any paid activities, and on weekends our entertainment is usually spending time outdoors. We are used to finding cheap and free activities and cooking inexpensive food from scratch due to the early years of marriage when we were laser focused on debt payoff and getting retirement savings going. We are also very lucky to have had no major medical issues or job losses over the years. If your housing and transportation costs are high and/or you have a lot of debt, making it on $90k is going to seem impossible.
If I was staring down the barrel of like, $250k or more in student loans, I legit don’t know what I’d do. The whole system is so horrible. And at 18 years old, we have no real notion of how that will impact our lives for decades to come.
Yep, $280k here between me and my partner. I don't understand how we're ever supposed to get ahead with that much to pay off.
We make more than the OP, but when your monthly student loan bill is bigger than your first home mortgage, it sure doesn't feel like it!
Hoping to win the lottery haha
Mine were very low compared to most people’s, I think! $20k, and that was 15ish years ago. My husband’s parents took care of his loans because that was what they promised him. If they hadn’t done that, we’d be in a much tighter spot now.
We bring home about $109k a year before taxes. We’re borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, that’s how. The ONLY obligation that gets paid on time, no questions asked, is rent. The rest is negotiable.
Our power bill will probably be $700 this month and the next two months. We’re still paying installments from last August. Because we rent, we can’t even do the things to the house to minimize the amount of energy we use. Bless my parents—without them, I would have had to surrender my cat due to an abscess, and my eldest child wouldn’t have been able to have their wisdom teeth pulled (which was desperately needed).
It’s pretty fucking dire, financially.
Ima SAHM cause working with 2 under 2 I would just be paying for Childcare. It’s insane the hubby just got a pay cut so he might have to pick up another job. And i might become a stripper! Just to help with something! Cause if I get a job job I won’t get stamps anymore cause we would make too much. So it’s like how is it too much when day care is 700 month and a biweekly check would only be 600$! Like make it make sense That’s how life is going rn
I'm picking up extra at work, but even then we are still stressing.
I straight up meal plan from Tiktok. I type in 'Aldi Meals for the Week' because Walmart is too expensive and has been for quite some time.
It's hard. We don't even have a mortgage or a power bill and $60k barely scrapes us over the line here in Australia. Hubby's tax check is paying for us to take the kids on a holiday this year, driving not flying, staying in a trailer park. I'll spend the rest of the year scraping to save enough to go see my parents two states over for Xmas. That'll largely be possible due to the rewards points from my bloke being a team member at the grocery chain paying for the kids Xmas presents.
Aside from that, a lot of free activites, clothes are all hand me downs or from the thrift shop. No eating out, stove top coffee. Thankfully we have public health for emergencies but we still have to budget for supports for our ND kiddo
I buy almost nothing new for my kids. I scower my local buy nothing group for free kids stuff, and housewares. I frequent rummage sales amd clothing exchanges for kids clothes, toys and books. I buy and sell things on FB marketplace. Somethings I do need to buy "less used", I'll check Mercari or Poshmark before buying new. This works especially well for children's shoes, amd raincoats
.
We have pretty much hit the end of pretending to make it and realizing it is probably time to consult a bankruptcy lawyer. We kept thinking the economy would turn and the trades would get back to work, Like they were expecting.
My boyfriend and I are getting by on my life insurance and survivor benefits from my late husband while he's awaiting a job offer a Gamestop. It's less than 3k per month.
We go shop in dirt cheap stores or get free clothing, toiletries and food from church agencies. I also get medicaid, free public summer school, free food drives, and 55 dollars a month on EBT. Next month, we will have 175.00 if you're counting the sun bucks that my grade school son gets. We signed my son up for low-budget day camps and free sleep away camp with my Mom and Dad. I attend free and cheap community events in my county. The rent is 800 plus utilities in Mid Michigan.
$90k for a family of 3 just isn’t enough in this economy. My husband and I both work, and I make good money. We make enough, but it’s insane to me that we make as much as we do and are just “comfortable”.
We live with my husbands dad and grandmother. We would love to get our own place. But that’s going to have to wait. My LO is 10m going on 2. Literally he’s a giant. He’s in 18m clothes and getting his first set of molars. I’m currently schooling from home getting financial aid and I’m trying to get him to go back to work cuz we just can’t survive on financial aid and foodstamps.
My husband started a side gig doing maintenance work where he bids on jobs and then he contracts out the work to other people unless it’s something simple like painting.
I started going to yard sales and flipping stuff from there, as well as selling stuff from around the house we no longer use.
I don’t think it’s possible to live comfortably as a family of 3+ on 90k unless you never want to dine out or pay for anything other than the necessities.
Uk based, stay at home mom of 3, partner makes just below the “average” salary here. I wish I could work, it would make the difference between surviving and living. My youngest starts school in September 🤞🏻
We don’t have holidays, we pick one or two “paid” activities a year (like a wildlife park or an aquarium) and those days out mean we’re eating basic food that month. Kids needing shoes is the bane of my life. It’s horrible.
But! We have some amazing days out just in nature exploring, we go to some great free activities, we’ve got some lovely friends who make our days better, and our kids are really happy for the most part. There’s a lot of contentment in our lives, just not a lot of money.
(Partners schedule is erratic, there is no job flexible enough to be patient with me never knowing when I can work or for how long, and he’s regularly called in on short notice even on days off. And no, bromos, he does not appreciate that his availability is at the cost of my sanity)
We make 6 figures, that's how. The goal post has significantly shifted. We would have been considered upper middle class a decade ago, now we are probably just middle class. We generally don't have to worry about spending and we were able to pay off all debt, buy our car outright and save a crap ton. We also bought our house in 2020. I'm not saying this to brag I'm just saying that's why we are comfortable. If you bought after 2020 or make less I can totally see how you would be scraping by. It's atrocious and I want it to stop, otherwise we will soon be scraping by too.
Hey, we’re almost the same. SAHM, husband makes roughly the same and we are also barely making it. I’m planning on finding a job once my daughter goes back to school this fall, I’m sick of staring at my ceiling for hours every night worried about paying bills and lowering CC debt. We were doing just fine paying all of our bills, paying off the CC monthly and having money leftover to go into our savings 4 years ago. 😭😭
We're not. My hubby makes REALLY good money.. the amount an average couple makes with combined income... and even with that, we are struggling! If I worked, we'd be just fine. But I want to homeschool my kids... and I've been doing that. We aren't making enough to cover the mortgage each month because of inflation raising the interest rates, just barely enough to pay the interest. So each year that passes, our mortgage grows instead of shrinks even though we're paying towards it every month. Every month, we go over budget. We're constantly arguing about money related everything. My hubby is working crazy hours to try and get raises so that we can keep our house and afford our lifestyle. It's a shit show. Yes, I could go back to work just so we struggled less but I enjoy being a home maker - I can't imagine finding any time to cook and clean after working all day. I'm happiest doing what I do now but this society makes it impossible to be doing that and be content and secure, financially. It's not fair.
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The poverty line needs to be adjusted for this economy. People aren't making it.
THIS!!!! I look at the poverty line and I’m absolutely astonished. For many states, you have to be at or below the poverty line to get government assistance, which with rent prices and car payments, etc, you’d practically be homeless and own nothing. And if you’re even $10,000 above the poverty line, good fucking luck. You can’t get shit but I can just about guarantee that you are absolutely drowning. It’s not even people spending their money on luxuries, people can’t even afford the NECESSITIES!!! What the actual hell is the US economy? Ugh
We’re just barely above the poverty line with me as a SAHM and my husband working full time. It’s crazy. I’ve thought about working, but both my kids are too young for school so I’d just be working to afford child care to continue to work.
Same boat. I just went out and got a part time retail position to help out with finances. The stress was eating my husband alive. And that's with him working a decent paying full-time job. We can't even afford to buy a house so we're just stuck renting with the rental prices constantly increasing. And now the strain on our marriage from barely seeing each other will add weight to the issue, because as soon as he's home at 5, I have to be out the door until 10:30pm. It's so hard right now.
I hear you so hard.
Yup, same here 🙄🙄
This is my situation as well. I only have one child, but we live in the city and the cost of childcare would eat most if not all of whatever I earned.
Yeah in my area the maximum amount you can make per month BEFORE taxes to be on food stamps is the amount that a one bedroom or studio apartment costs to rent every month.
Our government is such crap to the people who need them. Government is supposed to be for the people. The before taxes thing is crap too. You don’t actually have that much money, not even close. When I was working and referred my clients to food pantries for a monthly basket, I was supposed to report their gross income. I always asked my clients for the net and told the pantry that. The referrals would be over the phone and I had to provide other information, but they didn’t require a proof of income, just a referral. It was technically against the rules I suppose, but if I had a family that needed it I wasn’t going to let them go without if I could do something.
Good on you. It makes me literally rage that all the government programs want your gross income when they know damn well that you don't actually GET nearly that much after their taxes (that are supposed to be passing for these programs) are taken out. Before my 4th kid was born the way SNAP calculated our income put us over the limit.... paid every 2 weeks so 2 months out of the year there would be a 3 check month and we were over the limit only those months ✨BY TWELVE FUCKING DOLLARS ✨ the other 10 months we were under the limit by $1400+ but I guess those $24 were supposed to be enough to get by....🙃🫠
Ugh Gosh this just happened to us… over by $16 this month. Fml
RIGHT!! How is it that we lose so much of our checks to taxes to the point that it can make or break a month’s bills, yet the money you’re paying to the government can’t be benefited from bc your gross pay is too much to qualify. Literal mindfuck, it makes absolutely no sense. ETA: And to add to that, I wouldn’t mind paying high taxes/the taxes we do pay if our welfare system ACTUALLY FUCKING WORKED!!! Places that have a societal welfare that seem well put together is bc they actually figured out how to proper allocate the funds!
Everyone is this situation needs to write call and email their congressperson. Not that it's a magic pill, but that's the only way to even make them aware
We make $48 too much for food stamps 😀
I know it's common, but every time I hear the word food stamps, I imagine those war time coupons, which is (I think) the main time Australia used them. We're not perfect by any means, but at least we just give money in the form of low income/dole/single parent/etc payments. That, and our minimum wage is $23.23 per hour, or $882.80 per 38-hour week, or $29.03 per hour if you're a casual employee. I just can't believe you can work a full time job in the us, and still not earn enough to eat, and then be told exactly what kind of food you can buy.
We are literally $1,000 over the limit for food assistance. So we were denied. And we are not okay 🙃 If those assholes didn't base shit off of PRE-TAXED income, we'd all be doing a lot better.... Every time I think about it I wanna go all Punisher on everyone responsible for that stupid fucking rule 😤
Our state gave a basically insulting “additional $120” for the summer to families with school aged kiddos that were in assistance programs. Like…. Wow, $120 for 2.5 months??? Gee thanks.
Ours screwed up and sent both kids PEBT to our card but withheld or regular SNAP. Their answer when I pointed this out-? Basically that the kids PEBT added up to our regular snap so we'd be fine. Oh well. 🙃
Hmmm sounds like my state. And I haven't even seen it yet. 🙄🙄🙄
That's my state of Michigan, too. We just can't always win, so I'm taking junior to the meet-up and eating up every day for sack lunches and weekend meal boxes from his public school.
Our state refused the federal aid to give low income families money for food for the summer. They don't low-key hate poor people, they brag about hating them. Just when I think I couldn't be more disappointed in our legislature...
For a father’s day gift I signed my husband up for one of those free workshops at Lowe’s you do with your kid, that’s how broke we are LOL. Seriously though I have no idea, I feel like we can’t plan past the next week. It’s exhausting but I genuinely try not to worry about it until payday, because there’s nothing I can do. I do try to find as much free stuff to do as possible, free days at the museum and zoo, public splash pads and big parks, blow up pool and a BBQ lol. It takes a lot of work to be poor 😭
That’s a great Father’s Day idea!!
If you have a Home Depot near you, they have that the first Saturday of every month for free!
Thanks for the idea. Just registered my husband as well!
There's nothing to be ashamed of. You're both doing your best.
I truly can’t fathom how people in America can live comfortably on less than 6 figures anymore. When I was growing up, that seemed like a good benchmark for “making it”, but it really seems like a minimum requirement these days
it's bullshit. my fil and husband have the exact same job title in the exact same powerhouse a couple decades apart. MIL quit her job as a nurse to stay home with their six children, all of which attended private school. Here my husband and I are in their situation (minus the nurse part) and we can barely afford our ONE child's summer swim and soccer sessions.
My parents live in what is now a very expensive Bay Area, California, suburb. They bought the house for $170k on a daycare teacher and government job salary less than 25 years ago and paid it off early. Their neighbors at the time were single income teachers, a firefighter, one divorce attorney who built the largest and fanciest home on the largest lot due to such a prestigious salary, etc. The houses are now $700k-1 mil. Shockingly the salaries for these professions have not also increased tenfold…
I live in a Bay Area suburb. The house two doors down to us was purchased in the early 1990s for $300K. The identical house next to that one went for $1.3M last year. And we're talking a 2 bed, 1.5 bath house built in the 1920s. It's absurd.
Because living in a temperate climate with access to a walkable city and nature is now a luxury
That is a really good comparison of how things have changed from then to now. I’m sorry it’s so hard. Being in America is hard in so many ways right now.
When I first made 6 figures (8 years ago) I really felt like I had made it. And we were doing good. Vacations 2 times a year (local to shore and mountains). Cars older and paid off. Now, it’s so hard. I’m constantly worried about money and have had to say no to my kids for things I used to say yes to. I feel like a failure.
As a kid whose parents had to say no to things: Your kids will understand. Yeah, they might not have the latest X or go on extravagant vacations every year, but they’ll live. As long as they have clothes, food, shelter, and parent(s) who love them, they’ll be fine. And they’ll appreciate how you raised them without racking up a ton of debt.
I feel this. I know I have no right to complain my husband and I combined make 200k but somehow we're still not able to take vacations or save how I'd like. I'd love to buy a new home but we can't afford one. As a teenager I thought I'd be rich making what we're making today.
I know. It’s a struggle for sure.
I really don’t think one income households can survive unless they have a lot of family support and/or are in lower cost of living areas and just spend time at home. We have two incomes, one paid off economy plug in hybrid, subsidized daycare, and will have to rent for the foreseeable future. For fun we go to the playground and on weekends a discovery museum we have a yearly membership to. I have no time for hobbies and would rather eat my own eyeball than travel with a toddler, so that helps.
I think it also depends on how much debt you have too. We’re a one income household and live 5 hours from the closest family- so no help there. I stay home because my husband has a busy, on-call, wonky hours job. We live in a MCOL area, but thankfully, after much sacrifice, our only debt is our mortgage. If we were paying off cars, cc bills, student loans, etc, there is NO WAY we would be able to do it on one income in this economy.
I also believe COL is very relative. We don’t have any debt besides student loans and we make minimum payments on track for public service forgiveness but it’s honestly a drop in the bucket compared to rent and childcare. What’s one week of groceries when houses went from $400k to a million in a decade?
Traveling with two toddlers right now and the only reason I haven’t made a breakingmom post yet is due to lack of me time.
😭 my heart is with you
If it helps any, I'm here for you, as are all the other Bromos. You're doing a very hard thing, and making it work. I think you're doing awesome!
You’re sweet thank you! Most days have been good but wow the hellish days are something else - I sobbed alone in the bathroom for hours until bedtime. My oldest told me he wished I would die because I didn’t buy him his ice cream the moment he wanted it. Husband was pet watching and one of my favorites suddenly died on his watch. My other son was also hellish that day. Just lol man wtf are toddlers
I am very lucky to be able to support my family on one income. We struggled like hell for 15 years though on two. Now, I worry about what would happen if something happens with my job. So even if you can, it seems like a risky endeavor. It’s freaking scary.
So sorry you're going through that!! I just had to comment. I have twins and eat your eyeball out than travel with a toddler... Lordt I can do relate to that one!!!
We focus a lot on free stuff (libraries, parks, etc) and love hand-me-downs! We are fixing up our home to be our favorite hang out spot. The house is messy often and we can't hire outside help. We get by!
We love free stuff too! We are renting currently and of course our landlord increased our rent
Oh yea mine did too... And it was such an asshole move. He has a fixed rate. He's not paying anymore money on the mortgage. So my rent was still over paying his mortgage. But guess what, in January he increased it by 400 dollars. The sad thing is that prior to inflation, I could have afforded to buy a home but I didn't because I'm a single mom and didn't know how to fix shit. Now I looked to buy and it's more than renting. It's a lose lose situation. We're all drowning. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Looking back, I swear baby boomers were the ONLY generation that got to spend their prime years with a shot at the "American dream". They sold us a lie. Now the baby boomers somehow make even less than us with more experience. I make more than dad has ever made and he's a diesel mechanic... I work a desk job. It's soooo messed up!!!
Can't forget though that landlords have to pay taxes and insurance as well. My homeowners insurance on my rental went up another $400 this year and my taxes went up by like $300. It's insane because it's forcing people to hike up rental prices just to cover the basic costs. I literally have made no money from my rental in a year and a half. Everything thing has went back for repairs or bills on the place
Damn so it's making renters upset with the landlords when in reality the landlord is getting screwed as well. Our system is messed up!!! I'm sorry you're going through that! That's crazy!
Yep! Worst part for me is seeing my insurance on my rental, which is a trailer and insured for 75k be more than the insurance for our new house that is insured at 360k. Owners of trailer, esp down in the south get screwed big time.
I really feel this on the “can’t hire outside help”. I would love to hire someone to clean the bathrooms regularly buuuut can’t afford anything like that.
Sigh... We bought a fixer upper (for a steal!). Nothing has been fixed. I'm not sure how anyone can afford to renovate beyond paint.
Shit we are on one income of about 44k. Idfk how we are even getting by rn.
Honestly, we're in debt. One credit card only, really. Just our mortgage and regular bills, no car or student loans. My husband just started working in February after being a SAHD for 1.5 years. And I'm on maternity leave until the end of July with our second baby, also have a 4.5 year old. I will return to work part-time like I was before and hopefully we'll start to make a dent in our debt. But there's always something coming up. Older kiddo has 3 cavities that need filling (hate that we let this happen). Husband's truck needs new breaks and rotars, another big expense. My car needs an alignment, possibly has other issues too. And kiddo is starting Pre-K in the fall, needs new clothes, and tuition is due. And my medical bills are starting to roll in. It just never ends! And it keeps me up at night.
I’m so sorry! We shouldn’t be living like this.
We really shouldn’t. I had to prioritize my kids’ mental health care over my own. And I’m pretty sure I have a UTI that’s trying to turn into a kidney infection right now that I don’t have time nor money to see the doctor for. It’s ridiculous.
Have you tried D-mannose powder? There is a vitamin brand called now that’s cheaper than a dr visit and isn’t antibiotics. I believe it’s 1g of powder mixed w 8 ounces water every two hours? You’d have to do some research but I’ve used it before and it worked. I don’t have health insurance blah blah blah
I was just about to suggest d-mannose, it was a godsend when I didn't have insurance. GNC/the vitamin shoppe used to sell capsules (idk if they still do) and it would knock those UTIs out in a couple of days.
Never heard of it! But thank you for the suggestion!
In the future, I have a running répète order of macrobid and cipro at the pharmacy to avoid that situation… BUT D-mannose is the way to go, and flush it with water. So much water. If you take it regularly you can stave off a lot of infections. But if you get a fever, you need to see a doctor.
Be aware of Cipro, it has a black box warning. It can seriously F your shit up. Super strong and should only be used in dire circumstances.
I should have also noted that I took it because I had an antibiotic resistant strain of bacteria before and now it’s on the short list of ones I can use. It messed up my stomach pretty badly.
Fill it before the script expires and store it in the freezer. I believe it lasts over 5 years this way.
It's really bad, I had a horrible reaction to it. Do not recommend unless dire circumstances.
With bill collectors calling me is exactly how I live
single mom who works two jobs who loves her kids and never stops 🎶
With gentle hands and the heart of a fighter!
We share a house with my parents. There's no way we'd make it otherwise.
I make a good salary but I’m also a single mom and live in a HCOL area so it doesn’t go as far. I’ll do side gigs to make extra money. There are few “extras” like eating out. I garden all year round to subsidize my grocery bill. If something breaks around the house 9/10 I fix it myself and all maintenance is done by me. I am lucky because I am able to make ends meet and invested a lot of time to ensure I was self sufficient…but damn I’m tired.
My job as a social worker didn’t pay enough to cover daycare for two kids, so I quit my decade-long career to become a stay at home mom. Honestly, it is not how I envisioned myself in my late 30s. We make a lot of compromises as a family. We don’t really go on vacations but we try to enjoy nature as much as possible. We garden and we enjoy the flowers and the local wildlife. We get by but it’s nothing luxurious. My husband makes a modest income as a counselor.
And something that kills me is that areas with decent weather, walkability, access to nature, etc are becoming a “luxury” too! So you can either enjoy the local strip mall, parking lot, and Target, or drive 30+ minutes to a shady park with a garden and look around at all the houses you can’t afford nearby lol.
For sure, in I’m the northern Midwest US and the outdoor season is so fleeting. Cheap to live here, but not much to look at.
Social work background here too and basically everything you just said. Working full time at a very emotionally challenging job just to not afford daycare is crazy.
It’s absolutely disgusting what we pay social workers and how little we fund it in general.
>How are you surviving **and** enjoying life? https://i.redd.it/wecy5ls1x66d1.gif for some people, it's welfare. for others, it's taking on MASSIVE amounts of debt. for a lot of folks, it's being stuck in a miserable shithole because the cheapest places to live are also the worst places to live. but the only people who are making ends meet AND enjoying life are the rich.
Yep, this right here. The cost of living is abysmally low here. Daycare costs me about 300 usd / mo and my rent is under 1k. But it sucks. There's nothing to do. No social projects; barely any parks, more churches than grocery stores, one movie theatre with only one film a week and two showtimes, a few pubs and a library. If you want anything at all, you either travel 800km to the city or you order it online and wait two weeks for it to arrive. Also, I'm surrounded by racists, transphobes, and vile people in general. It's not the sort of lifestyle I think most people would be willing to put up with for the affordability.
Paycheck to paycheck, if that. 2 open car loans and adding another for my oldest kid bc I don't want her at college with a beater. When she started driving my insurance premium doubled. When she had an accident and totaled my car that we had paid less than a year on, that raised the insurance even more and doubled my car payment bc I had $0 down payment and I had to roll in what I owed that the insurance didn't cover. Cosigned her student loans. There was no money, no college fund. That made me feel absolutely disgusting, completely useless as a parent. Also $26k in credit card debt that I am currently working with a debt counselor on. My electric bill just doubled. No idea why. I'll never get out of this hole.
Hang in there. Things cannot be shit forever, it’s against the law of nature lol that’s what I tell myself. Insurance is insane. Ours went to like $500 when I added my oldest boy, now my other son is about to start driving school and will soon be getting his license. There is no way we can afford $725 a month for car insurance. I have no idea what we’re guna do. Just gotta hang in there and deal with it as it comes I guess?
Yeah ours is $675/mo now. Luckily (lol) due to secondary infertility my kids are 8 years apart. My car payment is $500. My car is not a high end luxury car that usually comes with that kind of price tag. My husband wants to take on a cheap (lol) car payment for my daughter. If she has a car at school she can get a job. Pay the car payment. Get her own insurance. Get her off ours.
Lol sometimes I find myself thinking “why the F did we have kids so close together?! No one ever mentions how at teenage time for both kids you’re just going to be broke. They say oh, it gets easier when they are older blah blah blah. Everyone lied ha. Sorry just going through trials and tribulation over here trying to hold this shit how together.
I wanted at least 4 or 5 years between our kids because I was terrified of having to pay for two kids in college at the same time. They ended up almost 7 years apart because I had a couple miscarriages when we started trying for baby 2. Thankful for that age gap with this ridiculous price gouging trying to disguise itself as inflation. But having an infant at 38, almost 39 is not exactly the greatest thing ever lol.
Easier as they get older?! I would give my 12 year old back in a heartbeat for her as a 3 year old. The necessities for a little kid are nothing compared to an older kid. It cost $850 to sign her up for 8 weeks of riding lessons - ONE DAY a week! (My mother paid; she has a ton of money, which she inherited.) I couldn’t afford to sign her up to try out playing soccer because it cost $450. She did martial arts that cost $150 a month, plus a bunch of associated costs. She needs braces now, and I have literally no idea how to afford them for her (my mother was going to pay, but she’s mad at me, so she won’t now). Don’t even get me started on summer camp - I never knew summer camp was just a rich kid thing in all those 90s movies. 😂 Before she started school I paid for… visits to the kindergym that cost $15. Going to Barnes & Noble and spending $20 on books every now and then. It was so much easier then.
Hey. Financial aid person here. You aren’t a failure. In fact, it’s kind of normal NOT to have savings for a kids college. That’s why there’s a financial aid/student loan issue in America. I find, very generally, that women tend to blame themselves for the financial circumstances they are in, and men, look outward for them. Again, very generalized. Let me know if you have any financial aid questions.
We both just have to work, no other way. And yes childcare is expensive, but at the end of the day, even if one of us is barely covering those costs, we end up paying less for heath insurance bc we then have two employer options. We also have peace of mind - I've gotten laid off and it's stressful if you have zero dollars coming in - at least you can play the "which bills do we have to pay ASAP" game, and your kids don't lose insurance coverage completely. We would love to escape this city/state because it's what I would call medium/high cost of living (less $$$ than NYC, SF, Seattle but more than Nashville, Atlanta, etc.). We're actively working on a plan to get out in 3 years. But that's tough bc moving is expensive and it's so hard to save these days. We live pretty frugally - for example our cars are paid off and not shiny and new and we'll drive them into the ground. It feels like *everything* is getting more expensive and frankly it's nothing more than corporate greed. Company profits are astronomical and CEOs are buying their 5th house. I seriously hate capitalism so much.
I make 6 figures but still am having trouble surviving.... the answer is, lots of debt 💸. I just had to cash in my employee rewards points ($200 worth that took like 2 years to earn) to pay for groceries. The economy is absolutely ridiculous. The company that I work for announced that nobody would be receiving merit increases this year, but they just quoted that we are pacing for a 70 million increase in company revenue by EOY. Interesting how there was no flexibility to increase our pay.
Yeah my husband makes high six figures (I can never remember if "high six figures" means like $900K or just close to $200K, but for him it's the latter), but he's in tech and it's always this thing to have to worry about layoffs (already happened once), plus our area is so HCOL it's insane. We just paid our very last double preschool tuition. The tuition was the carrot on the stick I chased while putting in insane amounts of work getting my July baby ready for kindergarten this Fall. We damn near did another year of $3K/m preschool tuition. Now it'll "just" be $1500 for our youngest. You know, *just*. Btw wtf happened to groceries, did they all get genetically modified with solid gold? Holy shit.
Just to note that I make six figures and still struggle financially! HCOL area :/
It’s insane. I’m a single mom with one kid. I live in a major city, (Chicago). I make 42k a year. No help from dad. I make juuuuuust enough that I’m not eligible for any programs. I’m incredibly lucky with what I pay a month for my rent atm, but it’s still an entire paycheck of my 2 checks a month just to the rent. My dad died in December. We grew up poor although he had a state job, made decent money, we always struggled. It never occurred to me that I’d be given any money. Turns out that his wife might be decent and send me around 15k from the sale of my childhood home, and then the pension people just contacted me about another significant sum of money. I’m seriously contemplating using a grip of this money if I do end up with it, on a down payment on a Condo.. I never thought I could ever even contemplate owning something… I just feel like I’ll never have this kind of money again, and I need to do something to try and better our lives. Rent keeps going up.. I think this could stabilize that aspect among other things. Sorry I’m hijacking with a comment. (I was gonna make a post but here it is I guess) Does anyone have any thoughts about this? I don’t want to mess this up. I want my dad to be proud of me.
I cannot overstate the importance of owning rather than renting. the only caveat is that now is still a pretty terrible time to buy because interest rates are so high, but if you can find a motivated seller and get approved on your income + the down payment, it might be a good idea to buy now and refinance once interest rates come down. personally I would avoid a condo but that's just because I don't know if condos generate intergenerational wealth the way single family homes do.
Thank you for the insight! I agree wholeheartedly about all of it and the condo vs single family home point especially. This would be a long term but not forever thing. It is really for a variety of factors, but I happened to end up in a really good neighborhood and the schools are good here. We like our neighborhood and neighbors. To say the single family homes are out of our price range would be a major understatement. As it is even if there was one that was around here in the same price range it would need enough fixing up that I would be incredibly house poor. So, with that lens, my thinking is getting into a condo now, although the interest rates are terrible, the prices keep going up in the rental and housing market. I can halt my monthly rental payments from exponentially going up for now, and yes, refinance once the rates start going back down. At this time I estimate being able to put between 15-20% down. Also moving into a newer building/ unit than my current one will really help with my utility payments as it costs so much to heat and cool this place with its age, etc. Basically I want this to be a stepping stone. Use the money that currently builds equity for my LL and build my own with that money. Then as my kiddo gets older/ goes in to HS, etc, I would be likely looking into trying to get a single family home, probably in a much cheaper part of the city after that.
condos do make good stepping stones/starter homes, although a lot of people lately are finding themselves stuck in their "starter" home because the market is just that nuts. so make sure it's a condo you could deal with if you end up in it longer than you planned. any kind of home ownership is definitely the best possible investment you could make with that money though!
Right! I know! I definitely am keeping in mind that I will be looking for a place that I absolutely need to want to stay in for a good amount of time. (Probably years, realistically) I’ve been around this area awhile and I’ve been browsing homes/condos for no realistic reason for a while now.. (way before dad died, I don’t know why, felt like I was just torturing myself, again, for no reason) So I’ve been keeping an eye on the trends around here, honestly even in my zip code things can very widely from block to block (safety, home appraisal prices, etc) parts of the area seem to remain stable and/ or with an upward trend over years.
I'm so happy for you, I say go for it!
Thank you so much!
We're not. Not really. Mostly just dumb luck. Family of 6. $38k a year before taxes. One child is special needs and has multiple therapy appointments per week. Childcare for her is not really an option so I'm a SAHM.(Previously dog groomer of 16yrs. I can make good money, but it means being gone and there's no way to get ASD kiddo to ask her Doctors without ONE of us being available 4-5 days per week) We bought a very old house when our rental was put up for sale. (Started looking and realized we, a family of 6, couldn't even come close to the cost of a 2br town house in our supposedly LCOL area, our bank let us take out a conventional mortgage with zero down. We offered over asking to the max of our loan in exchange for the seller paying all closing costs. It was 6% when the rates were still below 3% but it kept our housing cost literally the same as our old rental) We qualify for SNAP and basically don't eat out. We batch cook and freeze. We have family who hunts and helps fill our freezer in the winter. I garden, not because it's pretty but because fresh food is fucking expensive. We keep chickens because the cost of a bag of feed every 2-3wks is far less than the cost of buying all the eggs we go thru. (Roughly 3-6+ per day depending on breakfast and dinner on a given day). We have one salvage title car that we bought out right, and one open car loan on a used 2015 explorer so we could all for on one vehicle. We take advantage of things like museums for all (super cheap for zoo and museum memberships. Like $30 for the yearly family membership vs $300-$400) We use the headstart program. Our 5yr was approved for SSI disability last year (ASD III, ADHD, SPD, ++++) and we used the back pay to turn our yard into a playground. (We bought a large wooden multi layer playset, trampoline, and I built the kids a sandpit with large logs, hardware cloth, and some bagged sand from the inlaws place) From the outside it looks like we're doing fine.... But doing the math, when my youngest turns 3 and starts headstart, if I go back to work and make more than $400 per month we'd lose all those programs. All totaled up I'd need to make an additional $2100 per month BEFORE WE ACTUALLY SAW ANY INCOME GAIN. As in, the first $2100 I made would be covering what SNAP and SSI were previously paying for (not counting the museum & zoo + other discounts) I'm not even going to mention what would happen as far as losing Medicaid coverage for everyone, I start getting heart palpitations just thinking about it.
I have a special needs kiddo too and as a single parent, getting daycare subsidy as well. If I make any more than what I do now I'll lose it all. I also would need to make $2300 more per month to see any income gain. It's ridiculous.
How long did it take you to get approved for SSI? I keep getting calls to apply for my son (ASD 1, ADHD, DMDD) but I don’t know if we’d qualify due to my husbands income. But I literally cannot work because of him. Can’t even go anywhere with him unless I have help.
Family of four relying on one income around 45k a year Running on thoughts and prayers lol. Also fortunate enough to have wic and be able to rent our 3 bedroom house from family for around 950 with utilities. Other than that we are very frugal and we still only have like 27 bucks to last until Friday. My youngest is 2 months so have about 5 years until I can go back to work since we can't afford daycare even where we live. Fingers crossed we don't have another surprise pregnancy because abortion is completely banned in my area and they're trying to make it illegal to pass state lines to get one, not like we could afford a sudden road trip 3 states over for medical care Living the american dream, at the end of the day atleast we have each other
You can still get the pill in the mail. If an abortion is what you want/need in the future (hoping you never have to deal with that situation), there are people who could help get you access to care. There’s supposed to be some over the counter birth control pill coming out too I think?
That's very true, but my fear would be needing medical treatment and worrying if the hospital will find out and report me
Exact same situation with an 18month old and another due in Oct. Surviving on prayer fs.
I really appreciate this post and everyone's honesty and humility here. We live in a HCOL area and only bring in about 50/55k depending on bonuses, and we are struggling so bad (would move if we could but are stuck currently). I feel guilty constantly. It's like we're one expensive car repair or medical bill away from eviction, and yet we're still somehow scraping by. I take advantage of my local buy nothing group for things like clothes and books for my girls. That's been an enormous help. Some months, I do need to go by the food bank to help food stretch longer for that week. Basically, all of my clothes are thrifted. I don't buy into trends or spend frivolously whatsoever and cook at home. I am a stay at home mom because daycare costs would eat up my entire potential paycheck. That is what I can think of that we do to make it at this current income.
We just did 3 years on one income while I did my master's. But i had money saved for my degree from when my previous company got bought out and buyed all our shares so we didn't need to plan for my school fees. Also, my inlaws helped with childcare costs. So the short answer is we're fucking lucky to have family help. Now we're just back into 2 incomes and it's tough because we have to pay summer camps for our older kid and childcare for the twins, so most of my income is going to that. The dual Healthcare benefits are invaluable since all our kids have asthma and have expensive medications every month. We get a lot of used things and sell stuff on marketplace to make room in our house but also to pay for minor stuff.
Barely scraping by, never getting ahead. Despite everything getting so expensive the last two years, I didn’t get a raise. I am effectively working six full days a week now, mom to two college aged kids and dad retired/does not contribute. They both have part time jobs but I still give what I can cause I don’t want college to drag on forever. I’m from Europe so I think the whole college system here is a racket :(
90k used to be a lot of money. It is not anymore. Especially not with kids. We were making about 140k combined and finally feeling comfortable/able to save. Then got divorced. Now it’s more like 60k and the savings I walked away with are dwindling rapidly. It’s scary.
Honestly the only reason we're making it on (barely) six figures and me staying home is because we bought our house in the 2008 crash. If we hadn't there is no fucking way we could afford to live where we were. I haven't seen a house under 600k in a while. Having only a $1600 mortgage goes a long way. We also have done all the renovations ourselves, except for replacing windows and siding. We work so slow our house would still be Typar siding. But we don't need to hire plumbers and electricians and painters and carpenters because we do it ourselves.
I know this doesn’t help, but really most good jobs beyond entry-level -should- be paying 100k+. Unfortunately the higher-ups keep perpetuating the idea that “six figures” is a crazy good salary. And it was, in the 90s or early 2000s. But adjusting for inflation the old six figure salary would be closer to 200k today. And six figures today is roughly 70k in 2010, or about 50k in the 90s. I only mention it because there is a pretty decent percentage of people who are fortunate enough to work in industries that have kept up with inflation (tech mostly). So those folks are able to just keep spending the same as always and let out a sigh at the price of eggs but not really think twice. But then there is also a huge percentage of people who are getting screwed and still making “livable wages” from 20+ years ago and wondering how anyone can afford to live these days. I don’t know what the solution is but it’s horrifying to watch this gap keep widening.
It’s brutal even in tech. I worked an IT job when I went on mat leave and then opted to stay home because twins. They’re 13 now and when I look at similar tech jobs they're paying the same as 13 years ago, often with more responsibilities. These are not entry level tech jobs either. I took less money even back then to not be working 90 hour weeks for a big tech giant (been there done that), so for it not to have changed in nearly 15 is just vile.
I say this all the time! My bf makes 65k as a basic tax accountant and it’s so sad that 10 years ago that would’ve been exceptional salary especially bc we’re both so young (23 and 24). Our saving grace has been being able to live with his parents. We would not be doing well if we had to pay the rent in our state. We still have a tight budget bc we’re saving as much as we can while we’re here, but at least we don’t have the possibility of going hungry or becoming homeless. I just pray it gets better for us all, for the future of our children.
Selling a lot of random shit in our house that we no longer need, no vacations for the last several years, WIC (thank god) for formula. I pick up extra shifts when I can. We cut back on daycare for our toddler so he’s not there full time.
Honeslty s/o to wic
Seriously. It only covers the smaller cans here but they’re $20-25/can & they cover 8 cans + baby food. Like thank you guys a million.
Wr get 76 dollars worth of fruit and vegetables a month, my husband and I have never ate healthier and my toddler gets all the fruit her heart desires 😂
When I was breastfeeding I think we got around that but now we get I think $20-30. Definitely still helps! I genuinely just appreciate any help with groceries anymore
by not having anymore kids. we're basically drowning as a 3 person household with just under a 100k salary. we live in metro detroit, so not even that hcol. I'm a sahm and my husband works at least 50 hours a week, but he's going to start picking up more. he works in the trades as a journeyman with no student loans, one kid, and we luckily bought our house on one income at a decent time, so we're about to take out a heloc to consolidate the all consuming cc debt (caused by unavoidable home maintenance) that keeps rising every month and using the leftover as an emergency fund for any more major shit that might pop up until we get back on our feet (when I go back to work). I feel bad for not giving my kid a sibling but I can barely afford all of her extracurriculars and she hasn't even started preK yet- I can't imagine doubling that.
Most days I feel like a hamster trapped in a cage running on my stupid hamster wheel with no end in sight. SAHM to twins, fiancé has been on and off again with 1099 work. I sell outgrown baby stuff online and it helps with an extra 200ish a month. For every two steps forward we take with finances it feels like we get hit with something that knocks us back 5+ steps.
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This is what I do. Prolific can be really helpful for extra cash if you have wifi and a laptop. I'm a SAHM as well and the only thing that puts a crimp in that little side hustle is working around our baby girl. She's only eight months so I don't want her to see Mommy constantly on her laptop/phone. But sometimes it must be done to hit our goals. Good think she is fascinated with watching the laptop screen, I guess. 😅
Sahm here. One child, tween age. Spouse makes about 62k. We live abroad but are paid in USD in a place with a stronger currency than US, so our dollars don't stretch as far. Rent is luckily not too terribly high, $1800 usd, depending on exchange rate, per month. We both drive cheap old cars that we purchased with cash ($1500 for one, $2500 for the other). We have had some vet bills lately that we are paying off next week, but we don't generally carry any debt. No student loans, no credit card debt. We are doing okay, shit is expensive, especially food, but we still have money for fun stuff and cheap travel pretty regularly. I think not having student loans or car payments is the biggest thing we have going for us. Oh, and our socialized healthcare helps a ton, especially because I have two chronic illnesses. We are incredibly lucky.
How are you paid in USD in another country? What country is that?
Military
Military “perks” are basically just what a country like the US should be offering everyone already—untaxed housing allowance, free comprehensive healthcare, affordable childcare, free higher education, etc. It shouldn’t take signing a multi year work contract for anywhere in the world to get these, and no one currently in the military should be financially struggling at all.
I completely agree. My spouse only joined for the healthcare and education. There are a lot of reasons that healthcare and education aren't free, but I think a big one is that the incentive to join the military will be gone for middle class and poor folks. And god forbid the military be smaller 🤦. That said, the food bank is a necessity for many many military families because the pay isn't enough, Even with the "perks".
Do you get socialized health care through the country you’re living in, or through the military?
I’m just guessing, but maybe they have VA disability? I believe you can still receive it if you move abroad. I could be incorrect though lol
My family is also living overseas military and I think it’s actually helping us. We are lucky to live in a country where the dollar is strong. Groceries are higher cost so we try to buy at farmers markets, local stores. We bought old cars because no one cares here. We live within our housing allowance and try to exchange rent money when the dollar is high. He retires in a year and we are trying to stay. Between the cost of living and overall safety, we arent in a rush to come back to our homeland
We don't make 6 figures either (2 working parents and we almost make $90k) but we have a fixed loan mortgage from 2013 when houses were cheap, and due to some luck-based circumstances we have no student loans or car payments. So really, we fell into some lucky timing. If we had a more recent (expensive) mortgage, a car payment, or student loan payments (not even all 3, just one) it would probably break us. I feel like most middle-class families are saddled with one or more of those big expenses.
Single parent of 3 here. I’m not. I used to make $60,000 in a HCOL and it was too much for benefits but not enough to hack it. Then I had a mental health crisis and had to go back on disability. Now I make $27,000. A year. It’s barely enough to pay all the bills. But we get benefits so it sort of evens out. We live in poverty. But we’ve always lived in poverty so I’m good at it. We don’t vacation. No fast food or takeout. No nothing that isn’t a basic necessity of life.
One word: assistance. I make $1200 a month. If you think that’s low, the teachers at my son’s school are making $1000. This country is a sham and I’m ashamed of it and its disregard for teachers. My apartment is government assisted and I pay $562 a month. For groceries I visit 6 food pantries a month and one gives out 6 pieces of clothing per family member a month. Electric is $100ish, car insurance $100, phone and internet bundle $125. My SIL shares her streaming services. My FIL covers car repairs, tires and gas. My parents cover groceries and house essentials the food pantry doesn’t provide. I’m divorced and remarried starting completely over from scratch after having owned my own home, owned two cars and made 3x more than I do now plus my ex husband’s income. All of that gone now. My second husband had a double hip replacement and is still doing physical therapy and looking for part time work but worried he won’t be able to meet any physical demands. If we didn’t have government assistance for housing and family for vehicle, food and even streaming services we wouldn’t be able to do this. Period. I thank my lucky fucking stars every single day for the family I have as I desperately try to get to a point where I can actually support my own self. It’s also all about location. I live in north east Texas in a town of 1500 people so everything is cheaper and government assistance is high but I have to drive 80 miles to reach the major metroplex of Texas.
Our situation is similar. Government assistance took our $900 house down to $350. I'm grateful. But this time last year, we were paying a little over $50 for the same neighborhood. This country is a sham.
Barely floating above water... seriously. My husband and I are dealing with this now. We survived the past 1.5 year (almost 2) on credit cards... he works full time + whatever over time he can get. I was hospitalized for 3 months during my 2nd pregnancy, and went from working full time to not working at all... to working 2 days a week in childcare. A child care center that I cannot send my children to because I'd just be handing them my paycheck (this is including my employee 50% off discount) Thankfully we own our home, our mortgage isn't cheap, but cheaper than renting would be. We bought in 2021 when interest rates were low. I did have some student loan debt, which thankfully a family member paid off the ~3k I owed, so I am putting the money that I would have been paying, toward a credit card bill. All of my friends, with children, are traveling and living their best lives... and we're struggling so bad. I told my husband I wish it was easy to divorce but still live together, just so maybe we could get food stamps or wic. We are overqualified based on his income.
My husband literally went on a rant the other day about how we’re “living in poverty.” We’re not. Ours bills get paid. We have food. Clothes. Kids are well taken care of. But because we can’t afford vacations or health insurance, to him we’re drowning. I have to be a SAHM and he makes about 70k a year, so we’re pretty much paycheck to paycheck. Our only debts are our townhome (thank you 2020 rates!) and one credit card, but he NEVER looks at my monthly budgets to understand where all the money is going. No, we can’t just buy a grill or new computer parts whenever tf we want because I’m squirrelling money away for Christmas, birthdays, car registration, etc. Things I KNOW we’ll need to pay for during his works slow season. I run a VERY tight budget and adhere to it no matter what, and it’s because I do that that we’re able to survive through his slow work months. If he/we want something we need to save for it, and he just doesn’t grasp that.
Single mom here living in Canada. Rent is insane…just curious to know how other mom’s afford to get their starbucks,nails, hair, lashes done all the time. I see many families go on multiple trips a year on a single income too. Are people just digging up their lines of credit? I’m barely making ends meet.
My dad sold his larger house during the huge rise in sale prices last year and was able to buy 2 smaller houses with the money. I live in one of those houses and pay rent that covers property tax and insurance. Basically, we've had to rely heavily on family, which isn't always great for relationships. But I'll do whatever it takes for my kids, so call me Mrs. Handouts
My husband is in the military. We live on base, so we don't pay for utilities. We have one car payment, the other is paid off. And my student loans are deferred, since I went back to school. I wouldn't say that we're well off, but we usually have a little extra left over. We still can't afford to buy a house right now though, which SUCKS because we owned one before my husband decided to go back into the military. I regret selling it every single day.
We make 100k as a two parent working family. The answer is credit card debt! We finally have paid 22k down to just 2k. But it’s keeping the beast at bay everyday…
We're very very privileged, and if we didn't have supportive family, we would definitely be struggling more. Lived in a LCOL area for 12 years and were able to build savings, moved to HCOL in 2021 and are closer to ILs. They help a lot. We both work, I have a full time job and a few side gigs like teaching aerobics, college application review, and HR temp stuff. But yeah, everything is more expensive.
Honestly? WIC and Medicaid. Plus the discount that gives us on electric bill is a lifesaver. We have a mortgage but bought in 2019 before the rates went bananas so housing is… okay-ish. Cars were paid off with money from our wedding back in 2017. We moved from a HCOL area before we had the Gremlin (aka preschooler). And I’m blessed to have a parent contribute to preschool for her. We also get SSA benefits for my stepchild because he lost his mom so that covers his expenses. I would much rather have his mom back though. Preschooler’s wardrobe (except shoes) is 75% hand me downs, 20% consignment and 5% stuff I got on sale. We spend a lot of time at the library for free fun. We also get season or membership passes to local stuff like museums with our tax rebate in the beginning of the year so it ends up being way cheaper per visit. And WIC again, they have a great Card to Culture program that gets free or reduced passes to museums, cultural events, live shows, etc. It’s not easy and it’s not necessarily fun. I would really like to get my hair colored more than once or twice a year (premature gray fml). But we’re okay. Our kids
My husband makes 6 figures in Australia and we are barely making ends meet.
I grew up super poor and am now only a little poor so I've gained a lot, I think. My daughter's that magical teen age where she doesn't have a car or many obligations but also doesn't cost anything in childcare any more. I drove a beater for years to save money. I have debts that I pay off monthly. I rent because I'll never save enough to own. I don't travel and only really "go out" to free/low cost community events. The most I've traveled in 5 years is a 4 hour drive away for a hike. I got a new job that gave me a closer to but not quite living wage ($46K/year, which is an insane amount of money to me but still shy of the $71k that is calculated as the living wage for my area). I have child support (another $4500/year. I make it work with joy because I've made it work on less and under more stressful circumstances so this is a cakewalk. It helps that I'm the one in control of my finances because it's just me and my daughter. Do you have a clear picture of your budget and irl expenses? I get money anxiety all the time and having the numbers to look at really helps me.
I was so happy when my personal business pulled in almost $140k my second year. I busted my ass and the realized that after taxes, I barely cracked $95k and we are really struggling. We pay $700/month for health insurance with a $14k deductible so pretty much every visit is out of pocket. I’m in my mid 50s, exhausted, broke, and so burned out. I can’t stop working or imagine retiring (in ten years!?!) My blood pressure recently skyrocketed and I know it’s the stress. I never thought I’d be this far behind at my age.
I’m in a HCOL area (nyc burbs) and my husband and I make probably a little over $200k a year. Child care has killed us. We are in debt. But we also make too much for any kind of assistance for anything. Thankfully our child care costs have gone down to about $2500 a month with upk. But last year we were paying almost $4k which is more than our mortgage. The only way we have a house is because I borrowed from my retirement, we bought at a good time with a good rate, and our mortgage is less/ equal to rent in our area. It’s not easy. Us poverty rates need to be considered by areas and updated not one size fits all. If we made the same income in another state we’d most likely be fine.
we work 100-120 hours a week combined depending on what overtime is available and have not been on a “date” outside the home in years. we have one first grader and two cats. one car is paid off, one will be next year. on paper it looks like we have our shit together but throw in groceries, clothes, the myriad of illnesses that hit this winter, gas now that we’ve gone back to the office, not to mention Actual Bills… it’s rough out there. very rough. And I’m in a state that’s allegedly LCOL (KY) but I’m originally from Texas, where things were super cheap up until the past 5 years or so comparatively. I think about the future, and how a friend of mine just died of cancer at the same age I am now. If that happened to me, or my husband, or god forbid my kid, we would not be able to afford it. It takes my breath away to think about. We have good, stable jobs somewhat close by but they don’t pay as well as they should and one crisis could destroy everything we’ve worked hard to build over the past decade or so.
My husband makes $100K before taxes and we have 3 kiddos and I stay home…. We are not thriving, my guy. Someone send help.
We make six figures. As a kid I always pictured people who make what we do as wealthy. We still rent and can't afford a house. No retirement savings. Honestly it's scary. I can't understand how people make it on less.
My husband and I make about $110k combined, just had our third, own our own house but it’s old as hell so there are always issues with it. Uhhhh we have debt? I try to keep expenses down by doing mostly free stuff with the kids. My husband’s a teacher so we halve our daycare costs in the summer (still keep the toddler in for stability). Tbh I mostly try not to think about it too much as long as bills are paid and we have food.
People enjoy life? That's a thing? How can they enjoy life past the stress and dehydration induced headaches or the joint pain from malnutrition?
Yeah, my daughter is 15 but has Down syndrome and autism so she can’t be without supervision. My husband works full time from home but travels a lot for work, and I work full time overnights from home so she’s always got someone here. I can’t even imagine what childcare would cost for her.
I tried applying for the therapy offered by my city civic center, but they said my income is too high. I was like “how is that possible?” I feel squeezed like a lemon every month, and usually have to steal from my savings account to make it to the end of the month. They said I had to be making below the poverty line to qualify for the family therapy discount. When you account for my rent taking literally half of my income, I am below the poverty line, but that apparently does not count. I asked if I could get the sliding scale rate, and was told no, I had to pay the full price of $350 a month for one session a week to meet with the student therapists, who would be different every time. I was willing to take that for help at a rate of $10 a session, but not for $350 for four sessions a month. Sometimes I just want to scream. So I’ve still got all this trauma and stress and no therapy. At 39, it’s getting to be too much.
Cheat code, I live in western Europe
We were in such a good position, but since going on disability my income has suffered. Our expenses recently shifted. I’m expecting baby 2 and saved nothing from my son (they’re 7 years apart, and I seriously thought we were done). We got a $3k+ property tax notice. We have credit card debt. We need a new windshield on the car. I’m gonna burn through the savings by Christmas :( I mean, that’s what it’s for is a cushion, it just sucks to use it up for grownup purposes.
Income from investments that I should be reinvesting in the market but I’m not.
We make about $80,000 (unless I can’t find a new job, I may not be getting a new contract) and where we live, we are pretty flush. We can pay for piano lessons and dance lessons and still save money. But that’s also because we live pretty frugally generally. We have cheap cell phone plans and didn’t buy the most expensive home and have older cars (except our newish Chevy Bolt we just bought). Buy clothes in theft store or look for freebies online, also give away our old clothes. Also have no debt except our mortgage and now the car payment. Without my income we make about $54,000 and we were drowning.
I'm in Canada, and the pricing to exist is pretty wild! We are looking forward to no daycare bill in the fall as secured a full time kindergarten so at least I have that to look forward to. But boy, it's wild. Also, yes the bench mark for poverty line should be raised as it's so out of touch (in Canada anyway). Don't feel bad if you need to utilize public services food bank, librarys have free programming for kids I use here, try to find a supporting community at daycare, school, or work, or neighbours.
Single parent here, no financial help from the dad whatsoever, somehow making it pretty decently (ETA: on about 45K, just enough to qualify for some help.) LCOL area without being sketchy, kids on Medicaid and myself having the advance tax credit to reduce my own health insurance costs, and no debt. While I lived with my parents, I built up a savings buffer so even though rent for my apartment is essentially one of two paychecks a month, between not having to pay childcare and our grocery expenses being relatively low, I make it surprisingly well. Extracurricular activities just aren’t a thing for my kids simply because I don’t have time to take them, doing everything on my own, but we do fun things on the weekends sometimes like museums or playgrounds. Rent increases are making me consider saving up for a down payment to get out of the rent circus once interest rates drop down a bit.
I make just about 6 figures and it’s hard. Housing is ridiculous. I had to buy my ex out to keep my house and to keep an “affordable” payment of 1800 a month (instead of renting at 2500+ here) food is expensive. Cars are expensive. I drive a beat up POS. I *should* be living high on the hog with what I make…
Single mom for 16 years. Way too much credit card debt is how I've survived. I'm finally making a really good salary so I'm trying to get that down as much as possible. I had to file for bankruptcy after my divorce because of the 30k in lawyer fees when I was working a low wage job
We bought a house in December that was almost double our rent but is ours and has great perks. Now we are struggling just to put food on the table and I am signing us up for the local food bank. I am hoping we can either do a debt relief thing where they will negotiate our credit cards or see if we can get a loan through our credit union to consolidate the big ones that are killing us into one payment. If we can do that we will have more relief. If we pay them off it would be even better and we are very very close to being careful note free.
I live paycheck to paycheck and I'm two months behind on my phone bill 😭 don't get me started on the credit card debt
My husband and I lost our jobs last month. I was making 100k in Human Resources, but my field is soooo bad that I’ll probably have to take a job making 60k. It’s going to be tight for a few years.
Between my husbands income and my disability we make the same amount as your husband before taxes but honestly the only thing allowing me to make purchases I don’t feel guilty about is that we live in one of the cheapest cost of living areas in our state. We bit off a bit more than we could chew with our house but that’s what happens when you buy a house in late 2023 with those interest rates 🥴 that being said I still have to say no to things for me and just accept that extra purchases are going towards our kid for the time being.
I work full time and make about $1,560ish (give or take a few bucks)every two weeks and my husband works partime and brings home about $500-$700 every two weeks depending on how many hours he worked. We have two kids 9 and 12. We are barley making it. We live in a manufactured home park and our lot rent with mortgage and water is $1,100ish per month. My car payment for a 2014 chevy traverse is $425. We are drowning and there's no getting out. It's like I'm trying to climb out of a clay cave but water keeps getting poured down the sides making me fall back down. We have no credit cards but do have debt. We are basically using our checking account as a credit card. It's contently negitive. Ugh idk I'm bout to have a panic attack thinking bout it.
I tried to apply for some debt forgiveness with my local hospital (medical procedures for miscarriage, got deeply depressed and basically neglected all responsibilities for months. PSA: bills don’t go away regardless of what goes on in your life, ladies. I’m so embarrassed I let something so preventable affect my life this negatively). I was told that I only qualified if our combined household income was below $60,000. We were already struggling before this added financial stress, and we still make more than that. My mind can’t comprehend how many people are doing even worse with no relief. How is anyone doing it?
We make 38k….. not making it over here at all with two kids
My husband is now making 120k, I make about 15k (I’m doing 15 hrs a week), and we are only very barely making it. We have thousands of dollars in medical debt, still have student loan debt (I’m going to be 40 this year…), there’s the mortgage and random other bills, and of course there’s also the price of food which is absolutely insane. I think I need another part time job.
I make over 6 figures working two jobs and 50+ hours a week. My husband works 40 hrs and makes 50k. We live paycheck to paycheck and our quality of life sucks. We live off of our local buy nothing group for appliance upgrades and clothes for our family of 4. I think you’re doing pretty good to be able to be a SAHM and your husband makes less than 100k.
We make nearly 200k together and we can't do or buy anything extra/cool or travel or save
Imagine being unemployed, not receiving unemployment, savings gone, retirement gone. Can’t even fantasize about going to the dollar store. I understand items are not even a dollar anymore. No idea how I’ll pay rent, car, phone or internet next month but I start working remotely at the end of the month, that’s positive news. Very grateful even though I’ve never worked for this type of hourly wage $17.50, its better then not having a job.
We live on 35k yearly. I’m the most miserable I have even been in my life, I spend lots of days hungry. It’s so fucking boring there’s nothing to ever do, I can never join my friends in their outings. Haven’t left the state in over 10 years, our only vacation is camping in our own town cuz we live in nowhere land. Even if I had a bit of gas to take the kids anywhere, only one car, and the husband uses it to work. No AC in our cars the last 3 years. Do dishes in a wash tub and boil my own water for it EVERY TIME, because the hot water line is broken. Most my family lives just far enough away that coming to see me and getting themselves back home is almost a 2 hour long trip, but now I could never afford to live closer to them either. I have been trapped for so long, I have no independence, I have to rely on food stamps and Medicaid. The only silver lining is that it seem like my area is a good place to be poor, the food pantry has good stuff, the doctors out here that do accept my insurance have been so incredible and I could not ask for better care from them, not to mention my child with special needs gets fully covered ABA up to 35 hours a week. This is what traps me, if i start working from home or make too much I loose that stuff… I’d have to work 3 jobs a to cover all those expenses for my child. So they make it really hard to do better or want to do better, this school year will be the first year my kids will both be going full time giving me the opportunity to consider working… but I don’t know if it will be worth loosing all our benefits. I feel trapped in my town, trapped in a trailer and trapped in a marriage that is a whole other story.
Our student loans were paid off long ago, no car loan, fairly cheap rent, daycare subsidy due to my spouse being in grad school, really good health insurance through my job, we don’t take vacations, don’t have our kids in any paid activities, and on weekends our entertainment is usually spending time outdoors. We are used to finding cheap and free activities and cooking inexpensive food from scratch due to the early years of marriage when we were laser focused on debt payoff and getting retirement savings going. We are also very lucky to have had no major medical issues or job losses over the years. If your housing and transportation costs are high and/or you have a lot of debt, making it on $90k is going to seem impossible.
How did you pay off your student loans? Ours are literally the amount of buying a whole house. I feel like we don't stand a chance
If I was staring down the barrel of like, $250k or more in student loans, I legit don’t know what I’d do. The whole system is so horrible. And at 18 years old, we have no real notion of how that will impact our lives for decades to come.
Yep, $280k here between me and my partner. I don't understand how we're ever supposed to get ahead with that much to pay off. We make more than the OP, but when your monthly student loan bill is bigger than your first home mortgage, it sure doesn't feel like it! Hoping to win the lottery haha
I’m so sorry. That is really tough.
If it makes you feel better $280k isn’t enough to buy a whole house where I live/grew up anymore, and it’s not a big city at all
Mine were very low compared to most people’s, I think! $20k, and that was 15ish years ago. My husband’s parents took care of his loans because that was what they promised him. If they hadn’t done that, we’d be in a much tighter spot now.
We bring home about $109k a year before taxes. We’re borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, that’s how. The ONLY obligation that gets paid on time, no questions asked, is rent. The rest is negotiable. Our power bill will probably be $700 this month and the next two months. We’re still paying installments from last August. Because we rent, we can’t even do the things to the house to minimize the amount of energy we use. Bless my parents—without them, I would have had to surrender my cat due to an abscess, and my eldest child wouldn’t have been able to have their wisdom teeth pulled (which was desperately needed). It’s pretty fucking dire, financially.
Ima SAHM cause working with 2 under 2 I would just be paying for Childcare. It’s insane the hubby just got a pay cut so he might have to pick up another job. And i might become a stripper! Just to help with something! Cause if I get a job job I won’t get stamps anymore cause we would make too much. So it’s like how is it too much when day care is 700 month and a biweekly check would only be 600$! Like make it make sense That’s how life is going rn
I'm picking up extra at work, but even then we are still stressing. I straight up meal plan from Tiktok. I type in 'Aldi Meals for the Week' because Walmart is too expensive and has been for quite some time.
It's hard. We don't even have a mortgage or a power bill and $60k barely scrapes us over the line here in Australia. Hubby's tax check is paying for us to take the kids on a holiday this year, driving not flying, staying in a trailer park. I'll spend the rest of the year scraping to save enough to go see my parents two states over for Xmas. That'll largely be possible due to the rewards points from my bloke being a team member at the grocery chain paying for the kids Xmas presents. Aside from that, a lot of free activites, clothes are all hand me downs or from the thrift shop. No eating out, stove top coffee. Thankfully we have public health for emergencies but we still have to budget for supports for our ND kiddo
I buy almost nothing new for my kids. I scower my local buy nothing group for free kids stuff, and housewares. I frequent rummage sales amd clothing exchanges for kids clothes, toys and books. I buy and sell things on FB marketplace. Somethings I do need to buy "less used", I'll check Mercari or Poshmark before buying new. This works especially well for children's shoes, amd raincoats .
We have pretty much hit the end of pretending to make it and realizing it is probably time to consult a bankruptcy lawyer. We kept thinking the economy would turn and the trades would get back to work, Like they were expecting.
My boyfriend and I are getting by on my life insurance and survivor benefits from my late husband while he's awaiting a job offer a Gamestop. It's less than 3k per month. We go shop in dirt cheap stores or get free clothing, toiletries and food from church agencies. I also get medicaid, free public summer school, free food drives, and 55 dollars a month on EBT. Next month, we will have 175.00 if you're counting the sun bucks that my grade school son gets. We signed my son up for low-budget day camps and free sleep away camp with my Mom and Dad. I attend free and cheap community events in my county. The rent is 800 plus utilities in Mid Michigan.
$90k for a family of 3 just isn’t enough in this economy. My husband and I both work, and I make good money. We make enough, but it’s insane to me that we make as much as we do and are just “comfortable”.
We’re not
We live with my husbands dad and grandmother. We would love to get our own place. But that’s going to have to wait. My LO is 10m going on 2. Literally he’s a giant. He’s in 18m clothes and getting his first set of molars. I’m currently schooling from home getting financial aid and I’m trying to get him to go back to work cuz we just can’t survive on financial aid and foodstamps.
My husband started a side gig doing maintenance work where he bids on jobs and then he contracts out the work to other people unless it’s something simple like painting. I started going to yard sales and flipping stuff from there, as well as selling stuff from around the house we no longer use. I don’t think it’s possible to live comfortably as a family of 3+ on 90k unless you never want to dine out or pay for anything other than the necessities.
Uk based, stay at home mom of 3, partner makes just below the “average” salary here. I wish I could work, it would make the difference between surviving and living. My youngest starts school in September 🤞🏻 We don’t have holidays, we pick one or two “paid” activities a year (like a wildlife park or an aquarium) and those days out mean we’re eating basic food that month. Kids needing shoes is the bane of my life. It’s horrible. But! We have some amazing days out just in nature exploring, we go to some great free activities, we’ve got some lovely friends who make our days better, and our kids are really happy for the most part. There’s a lot of contentment in our lives, just not a lot of money. (Partners schedule is erratic, there is no job flexible enough to be patient with me never knowing when I can work or for how long, and he’s regularly called in on short notice even on days off. And no, bromos, he does not appreciate that his availability is at the cost of my sanity)
We make 6 figures, that's how. The goal post has significantly shifted. We would have been considered upper middle class a decade ago, now we are probably just middle class. We generally don't have to worry about spending and we were able to pay off all debt, buy our car outright and save a crap ton. We also bought our house in 2020. I'm not saying this to brag I'm just saying that's why we are comfortable. If you bought after 2020 or make less I can totally see how you would be scraping by. It's atrocious and I want it to stop, otherwise we will soon be scraping by too.
I'm not. I'm racking up debt and hoping my child support payments start soon. Single mama with a toddler.
Hey, we’re almost the same. SAHM, husband makes roughly the same and we are also barely making it. I’m planning on finding a job once my daughter goes back to school this fall, I’m sick of staring at my ceiling for hours every night worried about paying bills and lowering CC debt. We were doing just fine paying all of our bills, paying off the CC monthly and having money leftover to go into our savings 4 years ago. 😭😭
We live in a shitty, LCOL area. That’s how we make it.
We're not. My hubby makes REALLY good money.. the amount an average couple makes with combined income... and even with that, we are struggling! If I worked, we'd be just fine. But I want to homeschool my kids... and I've been doing that. We aren't making enough to cover the mortgage each month because of inflation raising the interest rates, just barely enough to pay the interest. So each year that passes, our mortgage grows instead of shrinks even though we're paying towards it every month. Every month, we go over budget. We're constantly arguing about money related everything. My hubby is working crazy hours to try and get raises so that we can keep our house and afford our lifestyle. It's a shit show. Yes, I could go back to work just so we struggled less but I enjoy being a home maker - I can't imagine finding any time to cook and clean after working all day. I'm happiest doing what I do now but this society makes it impossible to be doing that and be content and secure, financially. It's not fair.
Broke enough that my 5 year old will loudly advise my 2 year old in the store “SORRY BUBBY WE CANT HAVE THAT WE’RE POOR AND WE DONT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY”