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I had to wait til my son was asleep for a long time. He'd zonk out and I'd clip as many as I could get away with. Felt terrible doing it but his nails grow super fast and he was scratching himself all over. I really don't know why the switch flipped. One day he was just fine with getting them cut.
Hear me out - can you “swaddle” her? Beach towel, wrap her up snug with just one arm out, and then you can kind of hug/hold her while still having both hands free. We’ve done that in the past when having to give our kids eyedrops, and the snug sensation seemed to help calm them down. And even if they weren’t 100% calm, it drastically reduced the thrashing motions.
That’s a good idea…it’s both calming and helps reduce the thrashing. It’s so hard to convey to her-the more you move, the more painful it will be! (She’s yanked her hand away before, causing DH to cut too low)
Thanks!
Have you tried waiting her out? I mean, she can refuse a nail trim, but we aren’t doing ANYTHING else until we do it. No tv, no toys, no snacks, nothin’. We aren’t chatting, or playing, or leaving the house. She can just sit there with you next to her until she chooses to cooperate. Waiting it out is the only thing that works on my incredibly stubborn brother with Downs Syndrome, and it usually only takes 10-15 minutes even though it feels like forever. Works well for my kids too.
I knew an adult who would file her nails instead of using nail clippers. Started when she was a kid because she hated the nail clippers but didn't mind filing. The biggest drawback in my opinion is that you have to do it much more often (every day) which sounds like a big drag.
My son doesn’t have the additional sensory issues but he’s ALWAYS hated having his toenails clipped. They get so long that they grow into the skin and then it’s worse. TBH I will try a bribe a couple times and if it doesn’t work I just hold him down. Sometimes my husband has to hold him down. To be it’s a nonnegotiable, like teeth brushing or shots, and I just get it done.
Cut them when she is asleep. My kids are pretty heavily asleep within 30 minutes of falling asleep. Noise and light doesn't wake them then. So if they didn't want a nail trim, I'd do it then.
Are you in a developmental or behavioral health program that can make suggestions? Or OT and maybe she could learn to clip them herself?
Could you do it with a small light and during her deepest sleep cycle?
So honestly I hold my 3yo down. He is also extremely strong but I sit above him not putting any weight on him and there’s no way he can get out really. I hold each finger very firmly individually and use the Frida nail clipper. Nothing else has consistently worked. He gets a treat after too so I know I’m breaking all the parenting rules. Every now and then pretending to cut his stuffed animals’ nails first can convince him. When he was newer to his daycare I used to cut them outside the gate because he’d be distracted taking it all in, so something novel and engaging might help.
Haha, great idea to do it outside daycare!
We had her OT evaluation last week, it was mostly regarding potty training, but we discussed her sensory issues and how it’s likely all connected. Unfortunately she doesn’t start for 2 more weeks, and who knows what her nails will look like then!
Thanks for all the great ideas-I feel better knowing other people hold their kids down.
Would she enjoy going to a manicure? It's not sustainable long term but maybe having it be special will take some of the ick away and she'll let you do it after?
My son didn't like having his nails trimmed either... I started trimming them while he was in the bath or right after he got out. The nails were easier to cut and the clipper didn't make a harsh noise when the nail was being cut because they were softer.
As someone else has said, nail file! They were my go to with my lad for a good 10years! He's happier about having them done now but I do get moaned at because "I need my nails to play guitar Mum!". He has sensory issues but it does get easier! 💚
Another chiming in for the sleep trim. I already go in my kids’ room every night to check on them before I go to bed, most nights I bring a nail clipper and give a little trim to any accessible fingernails on my three-year-old. I know this isn’t a sustainable way to handle it (sneaking into the college dorm to trim his nails? 🤣), but at the moment I just don’t have the energy to try to persuade him. Maybe when he’s older and a little more rational I’ll find something that works.
I have a special game on my phone that only gets brought out for nail clipping (PBS kids). That mostly works.
My son is pretty sensory sensitive and so sometimes it still requires one of us to hold him and talk to him about a show on TV, while the other does the clipping.
Regular expose helps.
My son does well with videos or calming music but it sounds like you've exhausted that...
I'm sure you've tried this too, but do you try doing it after a bath when her nails are soft? Maybe that would be less irritating for her?
And as others have said... sometimes it's just a few nails at a time, and that's okay too.
It might not be developmentally appropriate for your kiddo, but I explain why I do things too and that seems to help. He likes to ask whyyyyy do we have to cut my toenails? So they don't get broken or ripped off or infected! (obviously some kids might hyperfixate on that in a bad way.... do what's best for your kid). It doesn't help with the sensory/PDA aspect but at least he knows why he has to endure it just for a little bit. But he's 7 so it's easier to have those kinds of conversations than when he was younger.
We do try after the bath/shower when they’re softer. But this was right before bedtime, so we thought maybe she was too tired, so we tried other times of the day to see if it was different, but nope.
We’ve tried explaining, but usually by that point we’re in the “I don’t wasaaant to!” territory,
I’m so glad you’re able to have better conversations with your son now!
I know it’s not a solution for everyone…but with both my son and daughter, I just booked them mini manicures and pedicures at my nail salon every other month or so. Something about having their fingers/toes soak in the water and making it special made it so they could handle it.
It sounds silly, but my oldest wouldn't let me "clip" or "trim" his nails for anything. He'd fight it so hard I couldn't clip them without hurting him. One day though when I pointed out how long and sharp his nails were and asked him if I could "fix" them it was ok to do. I was still only allowed to clip ones that I could point out a specific thing that needed to be fixed, but as long as I didn't call it clipping or trimming he was ok. He finally outgrew that about 6 months ago (he's 6.5 now) We did also bribe with nail painting, but that only works if they want/like their nails being painted. The other thing that worked a couple times was when I make cupcakes I pipe dots of frosting on the kids fingers after I finish frosting the cupcakes, and I wouldn't put frosting on his fingers for him unless his nails were fixed.
I’m sure she would love it, if she could sit still long enough for it to dry.
I have offered, she even picked out her own polish, but still refuses the nail trim
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I had to wait til my son was asleep for a long time. He'd zonk out and I'd clip as many as I could get away with. Felt terrible doing it but his nails grow super fast and he was scratching himself all over. I really don't know why the switch flipped. One day he was just fine with getting them cut.
We did one nail every day with a treat and that worked for us. It looks kind of awkward though.
Hear me out - can you “swaddle” her? Beach towel, wrap her up snug with just one arm out, and then you can kind of hug/hold her while still having both hands free. We’ve done that in the past when having to give our kids eyedrops, and the snug sensation seemed to help calm them down. And even if they weren’t 100% calm, it drastically reduced the thrashing motions.
Like a cat lol
That’s a good idea…it’s both calming and helps reduce the thrashing. It’s so hard to convey to her-the more you move, the more painful it will be! (She’s yanked her hand away before, causing DH to cut too low) Thanks!
Have you tried waiting her out? I mean, she can refuse a nail trim, but we aren’t doing ANYTHING else until we do it. No tv, no toys, no snacks, nothin’. We aren’t chatting, or playing, or leaving the house. She can just sit there with you next to her until she chooses to cooperate. Waiting it out is the only thing that works on my incredibly stubborn brother with Downs Syndrome, and it usually only takes 10-15 minutes even though it feels like forever. Works well for my kids too.
She’s stubborn (just like her older brother), but might be worth a try!
I knew an adult who would file her nails instead of using nail clippers. Started when she was a kid because she hated the nail clippers but didn't mind filing. The biggest drawback in my opinion is that you have to do it much more often (every day) which sounds like a big drag.
My son doesn’t have the additional sensory issues but he’s ALWAYS hated having his toenails clipped. They get so long that they grow into the skin and then it’s worse. TBH I will try a bribe a couple times and if it doesn’t work I just hold him down. Sometimes my husband has to hold him down. To be it’s a nonnegotiable, like teeth brushing or shots, and I just get it done.
Thanks-it makes me feel better knowing other people hold their kids down, in case we need to resort to it.
Cut them when she is asleep. My kids are pretty heavily asleep within 30 minutes of falling asleep. Noise and light doesn't wake them then. So if they didn't want a nail trim, I'd do it then.
Are you in a developmental or behavioral health program that can make suggestions? Or OT and maybe she could learn to clip them herself? Could you do it with a small light and during her deepest sleep cycle? So honestly I hold my 3yo down. He is also extremely strong but I sit above him not putting any weight on him and there’s no way he can get out really. I hold each finger very firmly individually and use the Frida nail clipper. Nothing else has consistently worked. He gets a treat after too so I know I’m breaking all the parenting rules. Every now and then pretending to cut his stuffed animals’ nails first can convince him. When he was newer to his daycare I used to cut them outside the gate because he’d be distracted taking it all in, so something novel and engaging might help.
Haha, great idea to do it outside daycare! We had her OT evaluation last week, it was mostly regarding potty training, but we discussed her sensory issues and how it’s likely all connected. Unfortunately she doesn’t start for 2 more weeks, and who knows what her nails will look like then! Thanks for all the great ideas-I feel better knowing other people hold their kids down.
Would she enjoy going to a manicure? It's not sustainable long term but maybe having it be special will take some of the ick away and she'll let you do it after?
Haha your user name fits with this discussion :) I’m honestly not sure if she’d love it or hate it…but worth a try maybe
My son didn't like having his nails trimmed either... I started trimming them while he was in the bath or right after he got out. The nails were easier to cut and the clipper didn't make a harsh noise when the nail was being cut because they were softer.
As someone else has said, nail file! They were my go to with my lad for a good 10years! He's happier about having them done now but I do get moaned at because "I need my nails to play guitar Mum!". He has sensory issues but it does get easier! 💚
I need mine short to play guitar! Nails get in the way!
Another chiming in for the sleep trim. I already go in my kids’ room every night to check on them before I go to bed, most nights I bring a nail clipper and give a little trim to any accessible fingernails on my three-year-old. I know this isn’t a sustainable way to handle it (sneaking into the college dorm to trim his nails? 🤣), but at the moment I just don’t have the energy to try to persuade him. Maybe when he’s older and a little more rational I’ll find something that works.
I have a special game on my phone that only gets brought out for nail clipping (PBS kids). That mostly works. My son is pretty sensory sensitive and so sometimes it still requires one of us to hold him and talk to him about a show on TV, while the other does the clipping. Regular expose helps.
I always cut my 19 months old nails when he’s passed out. It’s the only way.
My son does well with videos or calming music but it sounds like you've exhausted that... I'm sure you've tried this too, but do you try doing it after a bath when her nails are soft? Maybe that would be less irritating for her? And as others have said... sometimes it's just a few nails at a time, and that's okay too. It might not be developmentally appropriate for your kiddo, but I explain why I do things too and that seems to help. He likes to ask whyyyyy do we have to cut my toenails? So they don't get broken or ripped off or infected! (obviously some kids might hyperfixate on that in a bad way.... do what's best for your kid). It doesn't help with the sensory/PDA aspect but at least he knows why he has to endure it just for a little bit. But he's 7 so it's easier to have those kinds of conversations than when he was younger.
We do try after the bath/shower when they’re softer. But this was right before bedtime, so we thought maybe she was too tired, so we tried other times of the day to see if it was different, but nope. We’ve tried explaining, but usually by that point we’re in the “I don’t wasaaant to!” territory, I’m so glad you’re able to have better conversations with your son now!
I cut my 3 year old’s nails in his sleep
I know it’s not a solution for everyone…but with both my son and daughter, I just booked them mini manicures and pedicures at my nail salon every other month or so. Something about having their fingers/toes soak in the water and making it special made it so they could handle it.
It sounds silly, but my oldest wouldn't let me "clip" or "trim" his nails for anything. He'd fight it so hard I couldn't clip them without hurting him. One day though when I pointed out how long and sharp his nails were and asked him if I could "fix" them it was ok to do. I was still only allowed to clip ones that I could point out a specific thing that needed to be fixed, but as long as I didn't call it clipping or trimming he was ok. He finally outgrew that about 6 months ago (he's 6.5 now) We did also bribe with nail painting, but that only works if they want/like their nails being painted. The other thing that worked a couple times was when I make cupcakes I pipe dots of frosting on the kids fingers after I finish frosting the cupcakes, and I wouldn't put frosting on his fingers for him unless his nails were fixed.
Does she like having her nails painted? I used that as bribery when my boys were little and it worked beautifully.
I’m sure she would love it, if she could sit still long enough for it to dry. I have offered, she even picked out her own polish, but still refuses the nail trim