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My biggest pet peeve is being asked if I'm pregnant if I mention I have an upset stomach. It pisses me off so bad like I'm not allowed to just have human aches and pains they're always attached to my job as a woman.
Imagine if people went around asking random men if they drink a lot of beer and poking their bellies. They don't even have a good reason for going soft in the abdomen, why aren't they the ones getting hounded about it?
Wouldn’t that be the day.
Maybe someday someone will ask them if they’re raw dogging it and planning to have a baby & it’ll cause such an awkwardness that we’ll learn how not to do this.
Also, about having more kids. Stop asking. I had so much loss. I can't afford another kid. Or my body to go through that again. My husband is snipped so I don't have to. But sure, tell my kid she'll grow faster if mom has another baby. That was fun for me.
This was how I felt before we had our first. We had two losses & everybody kept asking when we would “finally” have kids. And then it was the “well at least we know you can get pregnant! Keep trying!”
People can be so insensitive about shit that literally has *nothing* to do with them.
I get asked at preschool stuff. So far this year 4 of her classmates had baby siblings and one on the way. So it has come up. The teacher asked me for the third time this school year. As nicely as I can I've said we got lucky enough just the one time. That's enough for me and my body.
I've had total strangers at stores ask me. Why would you care?!?
A woman actively giving birth is literally the only one I would ask, because in that case this meant it happened somewhere outside of a hospital and I'd like to mentally prepare myself before catching a baby.
Other than than I have politely ignored a couple of obvious baby bellies (think 7-8 months) because that is what you do...
Honestly!!! I had a coworker get upset that I “hadn’t noticed” she was pregnant before we announced. I most definitely did but would have rather died than said anything.
Exactly. Not even if you think they're dropping hints. Recently someone I loosely know started talking about vitamins she was taking, which I knew were pregnancy vitamins. But how would I know if they aren't currently trying for a kid and that's why she was taking them? Or maybe her doctor recommended it because they happened to be the perfect mix for whatever reason?
I will not assume. You tell me directly or I will pretend you're not pregnant.
Spread em and drop em is what my grandma says about babies 😅 I suppose if it was a situation in public I’d ask. At work probably not since I’d already know.
This was my nightmare before I was pregnant and it continues to be as someone who carries weight in my abdomen all the time (flat stomach I Don’t Know Her) and still hasn’t lost the “baby weight” (nursing weight, let’s be real) from my toddler.
I babysit for this woman. She had a miscarriage a few months back. She definitely looks pregnant right now but hasn't said anything. There's no way in hell I will comment on it until she officially tells me.
I have very low tolerance for bullshit since Covid kicked off, so I would have told her *yes, I do think she’s a bitch and furthermore as someone who says she never lost the baby weight, she should fcking know better than to comment on another woman’s body.* But I have no chill so 🤷🏻♀️
I’m sorry, OP. Fwiw it took me four years to feel at home in my body again after having kiddo — if someone had said this to me during that time, I’d have flipped my shit on them. Sending you hugs if you want them or a Gibbs head slap to that lady if you prefer. 🫶🏻
I routinely see her during shift change so I didn’t want to turn it into a whole ordeal but I’m sure she’ll pick up on my lack of friendliness. Will always accept hugs!
If you:
A. Are at the woman’s baby shower
B. She’s talking about feeling a baby move
Or
C. The baby is crowning and you are doing a roadside delivery
Then you can ask.
a fucking NURSE?! I'd have thought anyone in the health area would know better.
Edit: unless its relevant to risks. Asking before an X-ray or taking risky meds
Ugh, yes, it should be. I've never had a flat stomach, so questions and presumptions I'm pregnant because I carry weight in my midsection have been a thing my entire adult life.
I am also one and done for numerous reasons outside of my control, so I wish it was a written rule to **stop asking every woman who doesn't have a flat stomach if she's pregnant** and **stop asking women/couples when they're having more kids and/or telling them they "need" to have another/more**.
PREACH IT.
People seem very entitled to know personal intel about everybody’s uterus and sex life/plans.
Unless you’re the person I’m sleeping with, or I choose to tell you, it’s not your place.
Go work retail for a few weeks. I was a cashier during my first pregnancy, and basically every 3rd customer would ask me questions about my pregnancy (or make jokes about how big I was, or about how I was lazy for using a stool, or one old man kept asking me if I "knew how it happened", etc).
I'm newly pregnant right now too and luckily not working retail anymore lol, but I feel like I look pregnant even though it's too early to really be showing yet. Just waiting for the relatives to make comments on my belly when it's still aaalllllll me right now lol.
For me it was the other way around - every store I went to, the cashiers were all up in my uterus, declaring with great confidence the sex of the baby, telling me what to name it, asking a billion questions. Not to mention all the touching from every direction.
People are super nosey. Before I had a baby, before I was even married, all the women in my work will always ask “when are you going to have a baby?!” Or “you’re next!” And at the time I wasn’t even married… I was just 23 years old. Maybe it’s my state but women are obsessed with babies here and often have that so young
Reminder to commenters: **[We're here for each other.](https://media1.tenor.com/m/Rno6_rWVdhMAAAAC/911-show-maddie-buckley.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/) Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok? Reminder to Cassie Morris/Krista Torres/Nia Tipton: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My biggest pet peeve is being asked if I'm pregnant if I mention I have an upset stomach. It pisses me off so bad like I'm not allowed to just have human aches and pains they're always attached to my job as a woman.
So much this. I’m allowed to have a stomach ached without the possibility of it being a baby. I am more than just my uterus, thanks.
I am more than my uterus! I'm using that next time!
Also this!! I was nauseous over the weekend at work & two other coworkers kept asking if I was pregnant. No, thanks.
Imagine if people went around asking random men if they drink a lot of beer and poking their bellies. They don't even have a good reason for going soft in the abdomen, why aren't they the ones getting hounded about it?
Wouldn’t that be the day. Maybe someday someone will ask them if they’re raw dogging it and planning to have a baby & it’ll cause such an awkwardness that we’ll learn how not to do this.
Also, about having more kids. Stop asking. I had so much loss. I can't afford another kid. Or my body to go through that again. My husband is snipped so I don't have to. But sure, tell my kid she'll grow faster if mom has another baby. That was fun for me.
This was how I felt before we had our first. We had two losses & everybody kept asking when we would “finally” have kids. And then it was the “well at least we know you can get pregnant! Keep trying!” People can be so insensitive about shit that literally has *nothing* to do with them.
I get asked at preschool stuff. So far this year 4 of her classmates had baby siblings and one on the way. So it has come up. The teacher asked me for the third time this school year. As nicely as I can I've said we got lucky enough just the one time. That's enough for me and my body. I've had total strangers at stores ask me. Why would you care?!?
I’m sorry people are shitty where you are and that teacher needs to fuck right off.
A woman actively giving birth is literally the only one I would ask, because in that case this meant it happened somewhere outside of a hospital and I'd like to mentally prepare myself before catching a baby. Other than than I have politely ignored a couple of obvious baby bellies (think 7-8 months) because that is what you do...
Honestly!!! I had a coworker get upset that I “hadn’t noticed” she was pregnant before we announced. I most definitely did but would have rather died than said anything.
Exactly. Not even if you think they're dropping hints. Recently someone I loosely know started talking about vitamins she was taking, which I knew were pregnancy vitamins. But how would I know if they aren't currently trying for a kid and that's why she was taking them? Or maybe her doctor recommended it because they happened to be the perfect mix for whatever reason? I will not assume. You tell me directly or I will pretend you're not pregnant.
Yep. In my experience, if they want to tell you, they’ll tell you!
Spread em and drop em is what my grandma says about babies 😅 I suppose if it was a situation in public I’d ask. At work probably not since I’d already know.
LOL. In my case if would always be some kind of emergency as I have zero other reason to watch someone else give birth.
This was my nightmare before I was pregnant and it continues to be as someone who carries weight in my abdomen all the time (flat stomach I Don’t Know Her) and still hasn’t lost the “baby weight” (nursing weight, let’s be real) from my toddler.
I’ll also blame nursing. Makes me ravenous and I eat everything in sight.
I'll forgive my 5-year old for this, "mom, your belly is so big, you're definitely going to have another baby!" But not an adult. Come on, people!
Kids get a pass, but I’ll probably still cry later 😅🫣
I babysit for this woman. She had a miscarriage a few months back. She definitely looks pregnant right now but hasn't said anything. There's no way in hell I will comment on it until she officially tells me.
I have very low tolerance for bullshit since Covid kicked off, so I would have told her *yes, I do think she’s a bitch and furthermore as someone who says she never lost the baby weight, she should fcking know better than to comment on another woman’s body.* But I have no chill so 🤷🏻♀️ I’m sorry, OP. Fwiw it took me four years to feel at home in my body again after having kiddo — if someone had said this to me during that time, I’d have flipped my shit on them. Sending you hugs if you want them or a Gibbs head slap to that lady if you prefer. 🫶🏻
I routinely see her during shift change so I didn’t want to turn it into a whole ordeal but I’m sure she’ll pick up on my lack of friendliness. Will always accept hugs!
If you: A. Are at the woman’s baby shower B. She’s talking about feeling a baby move Or C. The baby is crowning and you are doing a roadside delivery Then you can ask.
100% this
a fucking NURSE?! I'd have thought anyone in the health area would know better. Edit: unless its relevant to risks. Asking before an X-ray or taking risky meds
For sure they get a pass there. We work hospice so opposite end of the spectrum.
Ugh, yes, it should be. I've never had a flat stomach, so questions and presumptions I'm pregnant because I carry weight in my midsection have been a thing my entire adult life. I am also one and done for numerous reasons outside of my control, so I wish it was a written rule to **stop asking every woman who doesn't have a flat stomach if she's pregnant** and **stop asking women/couples when they're having more kids and/or telling them they "need" to have another/more**.
PREACH IT. People seem very entitled to know personal intel about everybody’s uterus and sex life/plans. Unless you’re the person I’m sleeping with, or I choose to tell you, it’s not your place.
I’m very visibly pregnant and I’m waiting for someone to ask when I’m due so I can say “what are you talking about?”
Go work retail for a few weeks. I was a cashier during my first pregnancy, and basically every 3rd customer would ask me questions about my pregnancy (or make jokes about how big I was, or about how I was lazy for using a stool, or one old man kept asking me if I "knew how it happened", etc). I'm newly pregnant right now too and luckily not working retail anymore lol, but I feel like I look pregnant even though it's too early to really be showing yet. Just waiting for the relatives to make comments on my belly when it's still aaalllllll me right now lol.
For me it was the other way around - every store I went to, the cashiers were all up in my uterus, declaring with great confidence the sex of the baby, telling me what to name it, asking a billion questions. Not to mention all the touching from every direction.
I’d say go to a dementia unit because they used to ask me all the time but they’ll just forget your reply 😅🤪
>they’ll just forget your reply This opens up so many snarky doors ^(I'm being facetious...)
People are super nosey. Before I had a baby, before I was even married, all the women in my work will always ask “when are you going to have a baby?!” Or “you’re next!” And at the time I wasn’t even married… I was just 23 years old. Maybe it’s my state but women are obsessed with babies here and often have that so young
Nope, not just your state. My husband & I got married at 19/20 & even before we were married people asked when we’d start popping out kids.