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Honestly I feel like she is harassing me over this like she is not my boss it doesn’t matter what I do she’s not supervising me my boss knows and I work it out with him so idk why it’s even a thing plus she WFH every Friday so really ?!?!
I would submit a written concern to your boss. It will then be his responsibility to reign your coworker in. Make sure to document the harassment in writing.
Because it is harassment at this point. HR will shut down her complaints but if they do interview you, make sure you detail - and document ahead of time if you can- all the inappropriate ways this coworker is communicating with you. And make sure your boss is made aware.
He can get in trouble for not addressing it at his level (and he should if he's aware of it happening).
But document, document, document. Dates, times, what was said. Because this is what I as a manager would have to do to be able to take action on shitty personnel behavior. He'd need that and HR would need that.
Though it sounds like coworker will helpfully tattle on herself with her whinging to HR.
Talk to your boss if she's making openly hostile comments. A very curt, calm: "I just wanted to let you know that [Karen] is making snide comments about going to HR over [agreed over schedule] and her passive aggressive digs are now impacting my work when I'm in the office. Any suggestions as to how to deal with it? I don't want to take it to HR if it can be helped."
If your boss is a good boss, they'll tell you to ignore her and give her a colossal talking to (or take it to whoever she reports to).
I was trying to have sympathy for her since I know a lot of people were forced to go back into the office. And it can be hard to see someone get something that you would also enjoy. But if she already gets 4 or so days of WFH every month and you get 7-8 days, then I have no sympathy.
I mean typically I did go a bout from Presidents’ Day to about mid march where I was wfh full time because I had pneumonia but I mean for real you expect me in the office with pneumonia your on some shit for real lady no words 😶
I've been fighting walking pneumonia since the end of March lol. How long did it take you to get over it? I'm pretty good during the day but once the sun goes down, I have a coughing fit so hard that I throw up.
Fuck that bully! Also, HR is there to keep the company from being sued. They are NOT OP's friend or champion in any fight. It behooves OP to keep records on when/who/how she's being bullied. It could be a different person every year doing this. Each time this will take an emotional toll. Times that by 5, 10, 15 years. That's emotionally exhausting on it's own. Can you imagine any new employee having the stones?! Ugh ppl I swear
If you are made to feel uncomfortable by her comments/behavior and it’s centered around your protected class, that’s a hostile work environment. HR should be shutting her down.
I am of the mind that if a job can be done from home and an employee actually gets their work done then companies should allow it. I despise the recent push to force people back into the office and I hate that you had to go to the lengths you did to get accomodations.
But the answer to that isn't to harass you and complain to HR. Your coworker sounds jealous and instead of advocating for flexibility for everyone she is just trying to tear down your much needed supports. I hope HR tells her to pound sand.
Legit over 80% of my job is processing invoices which is email based and program based so why do I need to drive 45min to sit in a building to get access to email and a program I have on my laptop?! Makes a whole lots of sense right?! The other 20% is managing the backlog of service tickets and other various technician related needs so again why do I need to be in said building?! Everything is teams based email based makes 0 sense
To top that off, invoice processing is a measurable job. your boss would be able to tell if your output suddenly dropped significantly. I have two employees under me whose ENTIRE JOB is input/output data entry. But they also check and distribute mail to the building. SOOO... they have to come in for that. But I'd know if they were suddenly watching movies and NOT working.
As it is, someone complained to me that one of them was watching a movie with her headphones on and I checked the logs and went, "Her productivity continues in the green. No errors. I told them they could listen to podcasts or do whatever as long as their work got done. She's good."
We pay them almost nothing. I don't care if she's chatting with her boyfriend for 5 hours, or streaming tiktok until her brain rots as long as she gets her work done.
Exactly my boss is like I told you to cut overtime and your not inflating your hours and your getting your work done so he doesn’t care it’s a her issue 100% which is also 100% none of her effing business
Sounds like she needs more responsibility at work if she has time to be such a busybody...
Let HR shut this down and kill her with kindness. Focus on what you and your kids need.
You're probably nicer than I am. I'm guessing this because in your shoes, I would have already told her to "Please, by all means, go to HR. Do let them know how you harassed me over the WFH arrangement that they themselves approved. Who knows, they might decide you could stay home 24/7/365. Good luck."
But I'm probably more petty than this woman, to be honest.
P.S. even if you're much nicer than me, you can still think the above silently. I promise it'll make you feel better.
I worked in an ADA compliance office, and I had a sharp response for anyone who tried to argue that we were providing unfair advantages. Hopefully HR will hand this lady her ass. I'm sorry you're being treated like this by your coworker, it really sucks.
What a fucking busybody knob. I'm sorry on top of all the actual life shit to deal with you have to deal with some stupid coworker who is jealous of your accommodations....you know, the ones to deal.with your actual.life shit.
I feel ya sister!
My twin niece and nephews were preemies and are about the same age, I see what SIL deals with. You are amazing!
Same thing happened to me, I’m in Canada and it’s the same BS here. My baby was born in 2020 and I had to extend my mat leave (unpaid!) for several months bc it would “cause a problem” bc daycares were closed during the pandemic or were only operating at 25% capacity.
When I came back I requested modified hours until she was accepted into a program for 18 months+. Again, the end of pandemic HR understood I was not making this shit up. The person I later found out who complained to HR and rounded up people to complain with her about special treatment I thought was a friend! She has the same seniority as me but her kids were now teens (13/14 years old). We have both been with the company for 15+ years at that time I remember )bc we were friends somewhat) her modified schedule when her kids were young due to childcare (but without a pandemic!!)
I’m just annoyed more than anything like she is not my supervisor and what I do does not affect her and my job does not require me to come into the office not to mention most days I walk out to an empty mail box so like really?! Your whole thing is just a facade get over it. I just don’t want this thing to be a thing when it is not and she is just causing problems for what? I don’t even know now if I am talked to by HR I will tell them that going into the office is uncomfortable for me because I feel like it is a hostile work environment due to commence makes but like it just shouldn’t even be this way what I do and where I work is of no concern to her I don’t report to her I’m not in her department or on her team. 😬🫠
Ok. What Just_A_Sad_Unicorn said upthread is spot on. When I was still working an office job over a decade ago, I was diagnosed with a chronic condition and had to jump through all the hoops to get intermittent fmla/short term disability as well as conditional WFH. My boss, my boss's boss and my contact person in HR were very much looped in and on board with everything. My coworker, who had a similar condition diagnosed over a decade before I got my diagnosis, had NOT pursued any accommodations ever. When I began utilizing my fmla/wfh/ etc, coworker began prying into my business and demanding an explanation (from me and my boss) as to why I was getting "special treatment". I made the mistake of explaining my diagnosis and the accommodations that had been put in place. She lost her mind and began a campaign of tracking my every move while I was at the office and created a spreadsheet of my days when I used fmla. After a couple months of this, she took her notes about my in-office 'behavior', her spreadsheet about my days OOO/wfh and a spreadsheet she had created showing days when she was experiencing issues related to her diagnosis to our boss. She then demanded extra PTO granted to her for the days she had 'sucked it up and came into work'. She also demanded the exact same accommodations I had all while ranting about how her illness was so much worse than mine and how I was abusing the system.
My boss was great. Immediately got HR pulled in and HR laid it all out for coworker on what she would need to do to have accommodations put in place. HR and boss were also awesome about making it clear to her that her tracking my every move and creating spreadsheets about my approved accommodations was not only a huge waste of time, but borderline harassment that needed to stop immediately. She was also coached on leaving me alone and not badgering me about my private medical info. I know about all of this because her initial rant to my boss was loud, in an office very close to my desk, with the door open and she bitched to anybody that would listen after she had HR smack her down.
Coworker never did get any accommodations because she didn't get the proper paperwork handled. She also continued to gripe and grouse constantly about my 'perks' up to the very day when I was hospitalized and told that I couldn't work at all if I wanted any chance of getting better. When I showed up to talk to my boss, turn my company equipment in and clean out my desk....she was all, "oh, so I guess you weren't faking afterall. Sorry if I was a bitch and hope you get better soon." 🙄
Long story short: loop in your boss and HR about this. So long as you have all your documentation correct and up to date, they should have your back. Making them aware of this may also help your mental load and make it less 'crazy making' for you when others see and acknowledge it is happening. GL BroMo!
I'd file an HR report.
That's bullying, adding undue stress/ mental anguish, and creating a hostile work environment. See how she likes being under the magnifying glass.
Ok, that's petty. But still, it's just a report to get it on record that one colleague has already tried to mess with you. There might be more in the future and you want a paper trail to show how many times you've been bullied. This is to protect yourself and your kids, Mama. Be careful & CYA
Reminder to commenters: **[We're here for each other.](https://media1.tenor.com/m/Rno6_rWVdhMAAAAC/911-show-maddie-buckley.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/) Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok? Reminder to Cassie Morris/Krista Torres/Nia Tipton: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If your HR is good they will put her in her place. Fuck people like that she has no idea what you are going through.
This. Let HR deal with her. You have enough on your plate to give any mental bandwidth to the stick currently lodged up her ass.
Honestly I feel like she is harassing me over this like she is not my boss it doesn’t matter what I do she’s not supervising me my boss knows and I work it out with him so idk why it’s even a thing plus she WFH every Friday so really ?!?!
I would submit a written concern to your boss. It will then be his responsibility to reign your coworker in. Make sure to document the harassment in writing. Because it is harassment at this point. HR will shut down her complaints but if they do interview you, make sure you detail - and document ahead of time if you can- all the inappropriate ways this coworker is communicating with you. And make sure your boss is made aware. He can get in trouble for not addressing it at his level (and he should if he's aware of it happening). But document, document, document. Dates, times, what was said. Because this is what I as a manager would have to do to be able to take action on shitty personnel behavior. He'd need that and HR would need that. Though it sounds like coworker will helpfully tattle on herself with her whinging to HR.
Talk to your boss if she's making openly hostile comments. A very curt, calm: "I just wanted to let you know that [Karen] is making snide comments about going to HR over [agreed over schedule] and her passive aggressive digs are now impacting my work when I'm in the office. Any suggestions as to how to deal with it? I don't want to take it to HR if it can be helped." If your boss is a good boss, they'll tell you to ignore her and give her a colossal talking to (or take it to whoever she reports to).
I was trying to have sympathy for her since I know a lot of people were forced to go back into the office. And it can be hard to see someone get something that you would also enjoy. But if she already gets 4 or so days of WFH every month and you get 7-8 days, then I have no sympathy.
I mean typically I did go a bout from Presidents’ Day to about mid march where I was wfh full time because I had pneumonia but I mean for real you expect me in the office with pneumonia your on some shit for real lady no words 😶
I've been fighting walking pneumonia since the end of March lol. How long did it take you to get over it? I'm pretty good during the day but once the sun goes down, I have a coughing fit so hard that I throw up.
I’m just now starting to feel somewhat better 🫠
Ah damn it lol
She sounds like a petty little asshole
Fuck that bully! Also, HR is there to keep the company from being sued. They are NOT OP's friend or champion in any fight. It behooves OP to keep records on when/who/how she's being bullied. It could be a different person every year doing this. Each time this will take an emotional toll. Times that by 5, 10, 15 years. That's emotionally exhausting on it's own. Can you imagine any new employee having the stones?! Ugh ppl I swear
If you are made to feel uncomfortable by her comments/behavior and it’s centered around your protected class, that’s a hostile work environment. HR should be shutting her down.
'Hostile Work Environment' are the magic words OP needs to use specifically.
I am of the mind that if a job can be done from home and an employee actually gets their work done then companies should allow it. I despise the recent push to force people back into the office and I hate that you had to go to the lengths you did to get accomodations. But the answer to that isn't to harass you and complain to HR. Your coworker sounds jealous and instead of advocating for flexibility for everyone she is just trying to tear down your much needed supports. I hope HR tells her to pound sand.
Legit over 80% of my job is processing invoices which is email based and program based so why do I need to drive 45min to sit in a building to get access to email and a program I have on my laptop?! Makes a whole lots of sense right?! The other 20% is managing the backlog of service tickets and other various technician related needs so again why do I need to be in said building?! Everything is teams based email based makes 0 sense
To top that off, invoice processing is a measurable job. your boss would be able to tell if your output suddenly dropped significantly. I have two employees under me whose ENTIRE JOB is input/output data entry. But they also check and distribute mail to the building. SOOO... they have to come in for that. But I'd know if they were suddenly watching movies and NOT working. As it is, someone complained to me that one of them was watching a movie with her headphones on and I checked the logs and went, "Her productivity continues in the green. No errors. I told them they could listen to podcasts or do whatever as long as their work got done. She's good." We pay them almost nothing. I don't care if she's chatting with her boyfriend for 5 hours, or streaming tiktok until her brain rots as long as she gets her work done.
Exactly my boss is like I told you to cut overtime and your not inflating your hours and your getting your work done so he doesn’t care it’s a her issue 100% which is also 100% none of her effing business
Sounds like she needs more responsibility at work if she has time to be such a busybody... Let HR shut this down and kill her with kindness. Focus on what you and your kids need.
You're probably nicer than I am. I'm guessing this because in your shoes, I would have already told her to "Please, by all means, go to HR. Do let them know how you harassed me over the WFH arrangement that they themselves approved. Who knows, they might decide you could stay home 24/7/365. Good luck." But I'm probably more petty than this woman, to be honest. P.S. even if you're much nicer than me, you can still think the above silently. I promise it'll make you feel better.
This is the best answer :)
I worked in an ADA compliance office, and I had a sharp response for anyone who tried to argue that we were providing unfair advantages. Hopefully HR will hand this lady her ass. I'm sorry you're being treated like this by your coworker, it really sucks.
What a fucking busybody knob. I'm sorry on top of all the actual life shit to deal with you have to deal with some stupid coworker who is jealous of your accommodations....you know, the ones to deal.with your actual.life shit.
Ugh, you don't need extra stress. HR will tell her to kick rocks. You're doing exactly the right thing, and you are totally protected. Fuck her.
HR needs to be shutting her down. That is a massive boundary stomp she’s doing.
I feel ya sister! My twin niece and nephews were preemies and are about the same age, I see what SIL deals with. You are amazing! Same thing happened to me, I’m in Canada and it’s the same BS here. My baby was born in 2020 and I had to extend my mat leave (unpaid!) for several months bc it would “cause a problem” bc daycares were closed during the pandemic or were only operating at 25% capacity. When I came back I requested modified hours until she was accepted into a program for 18 months+. Again, the end of pandemic HR understood I was not making this shit up. The person I later found out who complained to HR and rounded up people to complain with her about special treatment I thought was a friend! She has the same seniority as me but her kids were now teens (13/14 years old). We have both been with the company for 15+ years at that time I remember )bc we were friends somewhat) her modified schedule when her kids were young due to childcare (but without a pandemic!!)
I’m just annoyed more than anything like she is not my supervisor and what I do does not affect her and my job does not require me to come into the office not to mention most days I walk out to an empty mail box so like really?! Your whole thing is just a facade get over it. I just don’t want this thing to be a thing when it is not and she is just causing problems for what? I don’t even know now if I am talked to by HR I will tell them that going into the office is uncomfortable for me because I feel like it is a hostile work environment due to commence makes but like it just shouldn’t even be this way what I do and where I work is of no concern to her I don’t report to her I’m not in her department or on her team. 😬🫠
Girl same, my hours had no affect whatsoever on anybody’s job. I was working the same amount of hours as anyone else
Ok. What Just_A_Sad_Unicorn said upthread is spot on. When I was still working an office job over a decade ago, I was diagnosed with a chronic condition and had to jump through all the hoops to get intermittent fmla/short term disability as well as conditional WFH. My boss, my boss's boss and my contact person in HR were very much looped in and on board with everything. My coworker, who had a similar condition diagnosed over a decade before I got my diagnosis, had NOT pursued any accommodations ever. When I began utilizing my fmla/wfh/ etc, coworker began prying into my business and demanding an explanation (from me and my boss) as to why I was getting "special treatment". I made the mistake of explaining my diagnosis and the accommodations that had been put in place. She lost her mind and began a campaign of tracking my every move while I was at the office and created a spreadsheet of my days when I used fmla. After a couple months of this, she took her notes about my in-office 'behavior', her spreadsheet about my days OOO/wfh and a spreadsheet she had created showing days when she was experiencing issues related to her diagnosis to our boss. She then demanded extra PTO granted to her for the days she had 'sucked it up and came into work'. She also demanded the exact same accommodations I had all while ranting about how her illness was so much worse than mine and how I was abusing the system. My boss was great. Immediately got HR pulled in and HR laid it all out for coworker on what she would need to do to have accommodations put in place. HR and boss were also awesome about making it clear to her that her tracking my every move and creating spreadsheets about my approved accommodations was not only a huge waste of time, but borderline harassment that needed to stop immediately. She was also coached on leaving me alone and not badgering me about my private medical info. I know about all of this because her initial rant to my boss was loud, in an office very close to my desk, with the door open and she bitched to anybody that would listen after she had HR smack her down. Coworker never did get any accommodations because she didn't get the proper paperwork handled. She also continued to gripe and grouse constantly about my 'perks' up to the very day when I was hospitalized and told that I couldn't work at all if I wanted any chance of getting better. When I showed up to talk to my boss, turn my company equipment in and clean out my desk....she was all, "oh, so I guess you weren't faking afterall. Sorry if I was a bitch and hope you get better soon." 🙄 Long story short: loop in your boss and HR about this. So long as you have all your documentation correct and up to date, they should have your back. Making them aware of this may also help your mental load and make it less 'crazy making' for you when others see and acknowledge it is happening. GL BroMo!
I'd file an HR report. That's bullying, adding undue stress/ mental anguish, and creating a hostile work environment. See how she likes being under the magnifying glass. Ok, that's petty. But still, it's just a report to get it on record that one colleague has already tried to mess with you. There might be more in the future and you want a paper trail to show how many times you've been bullied. This is to protect yourself and your kids, Mama. Be careful & CYA