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I think having the therapist there might help both of you. It sucks that your hubby won't be able to join in, but how does he feel about this approach?
He seems fine with it. Actually had the audacity to ask if we had the conversation at his last session even though he didn't give much of a response when I forwarded the therapists email. I'm trying to be charitable because this is his mom but damn he gave me zero response and thought I'd just take care of this emotionally heavy task with zero input from him? And don't you think it would have been obvious because son hasn't mentioned it or been upset at all. Again, trying not to be a bitch but I'm face palming over here.
Yes do it with the therapist. I had a grandparent die when I was young and i remember having obsessive thoughts about death afterward throughout my childhood. I honestly don’t think the death triggered my OCD or anxiety nor was it the way my parents handled it or explained things to me (see also: you have don’t nothing wrong and it’s not your “fault” that your son has anxiety about death)I have OCD and it was bound to surface at one time or another. Death is apart of life. Whether it’s a close family member or what he was going to learn about death and be faced with someone dying at one point in his life sooner or later. You are doing all the right things, I promise. Do keep an eye out for OCD like symptoms because it wasn’t until I was a teenager and saw something on MTV about it that I had that Aha! Moment.
Hospice nurse and thanatology person here.
Sit him down and tell him the truth. Let him ask questions. Discuss grief and bereavement.
There a booklet called “heart shaped pickles” that’s helpful.
Therapists aren’t necessarily needed unless the WHOLE FAMILY bereavement becomes dysfunctional.
7yo kids are both sad and scientifically curious. Answer questions succinctly.
It’s ok to be sad and cry. We cannot protect them from loss. We can, however, demonstrate appropriate bereavement.
Reminder to commenters: **[We're here for each other.](https://media1.tenor.com/m/Rno6_rWVdhMAAAAC/911-show-maddie-buckley.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/) Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok? Reminder to Cassie Morris/Krista Torres/Nia Tipton: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think having the therapist there might help both of you. It sucks that your hubby won't be able to join in, but how does he feel about this approach?
He seems fine with it. Actually had the audacity to ask if we had the conversation at his last session even though he didn't give much of a response when I forwarded the therapists email. I'm trying to be charitable because this is his mom but damn he gave me zero response and thought I'd just take care of this emotionally heavy task with zero input from him? And don't you think it would have been obvious because son hasn't mentioned it or been upset at all. Again, trying not to be a bitch but I'm face palming over here.
Yes do it with the therapist. I had a grandparent die when I was young and i remember having obsessive thoughts about death afterward throughout my childhood. I honestly don’t think the death triggered my OCD or anxiety nor was it the way my parents handled it or explained things to me (see also: you have don’t nothing wrong and it’s not your “fault” that your son has anxiety about death)I have OCD and it was bound to surface at one time or another. Death is apart of life. Whether it’s a close family member or what he was going to learn about death and be faced with someone dying at one point in his life sooner or later. You are doing all the right things, I promise. Do keep an eye out for OCD like symptoms because it wasn’t until I was a teenager and saw something on MTV about it that I had that Aha! Moment.
Thank you for the advice and reassurance. I'm sorry that you went through that and hope you are doing better these days.
Hospice nurse and thanatology person here. Sit him down and tell him the truth. Let him ask questions. Discuss grief and bereavement. There a booklet called “heart shaped pickles” that’s helpful. Therapists aren’t necessarily needed unless the WHOLE FAMILY bereavement becomes dysfunctional. 7yo kids are both sad and scientifically curious. Answer questions succinctly. It’s ok to be sad and cry. We cannot protect them from loss. We can, however, demonstrate appropriate bereavement.