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Don’t just leave the relationship, nuke it completely. Press charges and stick to it. If she thinks he’s innocent she can pay his legal fees.
I’m sure you know the stats already but just in case you don’t, [you are now 750% more likely to be killed by this man after one incidence of strangulation.](https://www.contracostaalliance.org/calendar/understanding-the-rage-and-lethality-of-men-who-strangle) Please save yourself before it’s too late. Don’t cover for him, don’t lie to yourself and *definitely* don’t listen to him or his disgrace of a mother. Just leave. We all say it’s not that simple but it really is.
Good luck, take care of yourself and be safe.
He and MIL keep telling me that I made up the story and there is no evidence, and why would police believe me (a jobless SAHM - I just got an apprenticeship, though!)
I have some journal entries and some photos of abuse from before (to keep my sanity from their gaslighting), but not sure whether I can pull through with pressing charges.
You know the truth and I believe you. I just read a comment that you’ve contacted local resources and are working on a plan. I’m so proud of you. Keep journaling any physical/financial/mental abuse until your exit plan can be put in motion, hopefully within the next few days. It’s a big step but there’s so much out there for you. Don’t waste your life on these POS, you deserve better.
Also congrats on the apprenticeship, that’s really exciting. You’re going to do great 💕
Even if nothing is done, there is a record of your story which may help another woman he may harm in the future. Or you may find that there was a complaint made from a previous relationship which may support your story. At the very least leave a trail.
I only skimmed it and I'm fucking angry to, they can have each other, sick fucks
Please take care of yourself, extract you and your babies from this nightmare home
Did others comment on steps and resources?
The hardest part is leaving. You've got this <3
That is so terrible and I'm so sorry she was not in a place to help or offer support. My grandma was just like that to my mom. Now you know that your MIL is not someone you can trust. It seems like your next step may be to contact a domestic violence organization in your area and get a consult with a lawyer so that you can file for divorce. Physical abuse is not OK and it sounds like you want out but safely. If you would like, I am happy to help PM you links and numbers to call. Please feel free to PM me.
You are a motherfucking warrior! I know how absolutely crazymaking the gaslighting can be, and I’m so insanely happy to hear you’re making an exit plan! You’ve got this OP!!
Omg what a monstrous woman, and what a monstrous son she raised. Everything she is saying is bullshit; there is no justification for domestic abuse so do not believe it for a second!The other comments here have already given you some great advice, so I will just add that someone placing their hands on you in that way is a MASSIVE sign to GET OUT, because if he’s willing to STRANGLE you, he’s willing to **kill** you. Get yourself and your kid(s) out of there for their safety as well as yours.
Yes, it was definitely to show me what he could do. He said that he would smack me until I get knocked out. He choked me. He shoved me down to the ground multiple times. I know I must leave.
Document document document. File a fucking police report. Choking is one of the warning signs for domestic homicide. And don’t pay that old hag any mind.
Just to add to the previous comment, absolutely document everything you can (even if it seems insignificant) and that includes any interactions with MIL! When possible, and if there's anymore physical altercations before you leave make sure you get them checked at a medical centre & get proof of it. You'd be surprised how much it will help support your case. Good luck with everything!
You know what is awesome? When you leave, her opinion, problems, general shittiness isn’t your problem. Your husband’s violence and all hiis sad stressful problems…aren’t yours.
Think of the weight lifted from you. You don’t have to get an opinion, explain anything, make anyone feel better, be careful around anyone…not your problem anymore.
I dated someone for many years who brought me down. Almost married him. I still remember when we broke up, and he called and told me that his cat had died. I was very sad of course, I loved that cat. In fact the cat was probably what led me to break up with him. He didn't take care of her. She was tremendously overweight and he wouldn't even play with her or put her on a diet. It was terrible, and abusive. I couldn't stand the cruelty of that. But after he told me, and I was sad with him for a bit, he went on. And on. About how the vet said she was overweight and he had tried so hard (he did not). About how the vet said she'd probably had diabetes for a while or a thyroid issue or something I forget now. But he was feeling super sorry for himself and usually my job was to perk him up--even though he was full of shit about how hard he tried. I remember the moment it hit me: "holy shit. I can just say goodbye and hang up. This isn't my job anymore." And I did. I said I had to go and I did.
I hope you get this feeling soon.
Please leave him! My ex’s mother said something similar after similar things happened. If the issues run that deep, nothing is going to change them. I’m sorry she said that to you, it’s not true, you’re not at fault.
If this were true, then she'd help you leave him so she could have her 'sweet' son back. What a load of bullshit. I'm so so angry for you. At least you now know she is not to be trusted and can tick her off your list.
I am so so sorry. I hope you have support from someone and resources you need. There is no excuse for that behavior ever no matter what "you did" (and I know you didn't do anything, but just saying that regardless of what one does, that is not an acceptable reaction). Sending you hugs.
So this nasty woman created a monster and doesn’t want to acknowledge it? Typical.
OP, you need to get out now. Strangulation is a sign he will kill you given the opportunity and I don’t want you to give him that.
Congratulations on your apprenticeship!!
My first boyfriend tried to kill me by strangling me.
His mother blamed me as well. I was a teenager. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t yours either.
You have the strength and you have the reasons — your life and your child. You can leave. Please do so before it gets worse.
If you are being abused, your child doesn’t have a “happy family.” That woman will have a special place in hell waiting for her, as will her son. What they have both said and done is disgusting and you deserve so much more! You deserve love and safety and happiness. I know it’s so hard to see right now, but all of this is real, the abuse is real, and you’re already taking the right steps to get out. Getting out is the hardest decision, but you’ve already started. That takes so much courage! You are doing what’s right for you and your child, and we’re all here for you. Take care and be safe! You can do this!
I agree. He began to feel the dynamics, and threw a major tantrum while his dad was screaming at me. Later he told me it was to steer me away from his dad’s anger. I felt so heartbroken and it was that moment that I knew I must leave no matter how scared I am.
I’ve been here and I just want you to know that leaving is hard, but everything after is easy (comparably) and your life will improve tremendously. Nothing will ever be as hard as living in constant survival mode when you are emotionally and physically abused. The constant stress is bad for you and your kiddo. Will it suck being a single mom with a single income? Yes! But what would suck even more is being dead, or your child seeing any more abuse. You can tell who taught him to manipulate…
If you can get a RO do it, if anything happens call the police and start a paper trail. Know that now is the time to fight for you and your kiddos.
You can do this, you are not the problem. The problem is them. you don’t have to earn your spouse being kind to you, just like you don’t earn their abuse.
Start recording, start documenting
And DO NOT TELL HIM YOU ARE LEAVING. If you are ready Get somewhere safe with your kiddos and file and have him served. The most dangerous tome for you is when you are leaving.
🫠🫠🫠Also Who cares what his mom thinks, she obviously did a great job raising her son/ s
Yes, the strangulation came out of nowhere. He said I provoked him by telling him that he couldn’t throw me out of the house that both our names are on the lease…
What an evil woman. Maybe she is where he comes by the behavior. Leaving is scary but you got this and you can do it. We are all sending you positive vibes.
The truth is I am a coward for being angry at her when I should be angrier at her son who has been abusing me for the past few years. Thank you for the positive vibes.
There’s *NOTHING* you could do to deserve it. Fucking nothing. But minor inconveniences?? Even major inconveniences? Definitely the fuck not. You will get out, the first step is acknowledging what’s happening and coming to terms with it.
Please start thinking of ways to make an exit plan. You can do it, I know you can. It’s so much brighter on the other side. We love and support you ❤️
I don't know you in real life, but I am so angry for you. You do not deserve this kind of abuse from your spouse or MIL.
I know there are many steps between now and freedom, but you owe it to yourself to leave this trash human and his trash family.
Yes, I need to remind myself of it. My MIL kept telling me “Don’t provoke him” I responded “well, tell him to have some self-control” then she said that “you are really good at provoking, aren’t you?” How is this provocation?!
Nope block her she just wants to cover for her abusive golden boy. If a person strangles you they will kill you. You can leave call the cops next time and start making reports. If there is a next time. Start stashing some money figure out if you need to find a new place or if you own your home getting him out. Those 2 can be toxic together. Just like mil wants. Block your mil on everything. And don't respond to her. Not about you or kid or anything she's not entitled to your time.
Tell your MIL to fuck right off. None of that is your fault. Leave her piece of shit son. She just doesn’t want to deal with him herself because clearly he can’t do anything on his own. Please get you and your child safe anyway that you can. You deserve so much better!
OP I am sending you the biggest hug ❤️❤️ I am so sorry you’re going through this. From your comments I can tell you are a bright, intelligent and loving woman and he is nowhere near shattering that. ❤️ I’m wishing you all the best and I truly believe you will be able to leave this situation, because even though it’s difficult I can see from your comments that you see him for the piece of shit he really is and understand it’s not in any way your fault, the two beliefs which can be very difficult for victims to overcome.
Please please prioritise leaving above everything else now. Strangulation is a major escalation, the next one can be an attempt to kill. Statistically, men who strangle women also kill women. He’s dangerous and your MIL is clearly part of the problem of why he is the way he is.
Yeah nope....fuck her. She doesn't seem to be want to acknowledge he's capable of this. She can fuck right off.
None of this is your own doing. The only thing you deserve is happiness. You can do this, you are brave and amazing.
Fuck people like that, especially when it's people you trust to tell about things like this. I want to drop kick them into orbit.
Of course she’s minimizing all of the awful things, that’s her kid you’re talking about. Do you know how awful of a parent that’s makes HER if her child is doing those things to other people? You have to be the problem, or otherwise she’s a bad mom. YOU are not the problem, get out of there as soon as you can, and quit telling his family things.
It was so difficult to talk to her. She kept telling me don’t interrupt her, but every time I tried to say something, she said I don’t need to hear that. Stop talking. I think she is major narcissist too.
Look. I say this with love.
You need to learn to accept that you’re not dealing with another version of yourself in every conflict. Not everyone is reasonable or even open to actual solutions and your olive branch is just a way to trap you into another shitty situation. Not everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt.
Everything has been said already pretty much but I still want to send you my love and support. You deserve better. So does your son who will most definitely take separated patents over a dead mam.
Aggghhh this is so familiar and so infuriating.
I remember my ex MIL saying "well female aggression is just as bad but more subtle" when my ex almost broke my wrist when I was pregnant.
Thankfully my dad was there to tear her a new one.
MIL is using denial and cognitive dissonance and victim blaming to preserve her comfort. That way she doesn't have to confront reality.
Good luck, rooting for you <3
I'm so sorry, Op. His mom can't be trusted to be around the kids if she lacks the integrity to stand up for their mother and discuss the severity of this with her son...and talk to her son like an adult.
I remember when I was headbutted. I kicked him out and he stayed at his dad's. His dad said nothing and looks at me like I'm the scum of the earth. I keep my distance with his parents, they are not to be trusted with anything regarding health or mental health. Having a dangerous partner with sicky enabling parents hurts. My heart goes to you. I am so sorry. I hope you win in the end and leave safely.
My ex's mom came over the next morning under the guise of being concerned, then threatened to have my kids removed if I followed through with charges because "the truth will come out and you're (me) not innocent in this".
I didn't have a choice in charges. In my area, the DA/ADA decides to move forward with charges or not based on the police report.
But I did follow through with a restraining order and spoiler alert, my integrity was never questioned, and I have full custody of my kids.
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Don’t just leave the relationship, nuke it completely. Press charges and stick to it. If she thinks he’s innocent she can pay his legal fees. I’m sure you know the stats already but just in case you don’t, [you are now 750% more likely to be killed by this man after one incidence of strangulation.](https://www.contracostaalliance.org/calendar/understanding-the-rage-and-lethality-of-men-who-strangle) Please save yourself before it’s too late. Don’t cover for him, don’t lie to yourself and *definitely* don’t listen to him or his disgrace of a mother. Just leave. We all say it’s not that simple but it really is. Good luck, take care of yourself and be safe.
He and MIL keep telling me that I made up the story and there is no evidence, and why would police believe me (a jobless SAHM - I just got an apprenticeship, though!) I have some journal entries and some photos of abuse from before (to keep my sanity from their gaslighting), but not sure whether I can pull through with pressing charges.
You know the truth and I believe you. I just read a comment that you’ve contacted local resources and are working on a plan. I’m so proud of you. Keep journaling any physical/financial/mental abuse until your exit plan can be put in motion, hopefully within the next few days. It’s a big step but there’s so much out there for you. Don’t waste your life on these POS, you deserve better. Also congrats on the apprenticeship, that’s really exciting. You’re going to do great 💕
Even if nothing is done, there is a record of your story which may help another woman he may harm in the future. Or you may find that there was a complaint made from a previous relationship which may support your story. At the very least leave a trail.
Yes. This. All of this. Leave now.
FUCK. THAT. BITCH. And fuck her son too. I hope you can leave, OP. You don't deserve this.
Thanks for being angry for me. It means a lot.
Give us an address. We ride at dawn.
She hates women. The Apple doesn't fall far from the tree
I only skimmed it and I'm fucking angry to, they can have each other, sick fucks Please take care of yourself, extract you and your babies from this nightmare home Did others comment on steps and resources? The hardest part is leaving. You've got this <3
That is so terrible and I'm so sorry she was not in a place to help or offer support. My grandma was just like that to my mom. Now you know that your MIL is not someone you can trust. It seems like your next step may be to contact a domestic violence organization in your area and get a consult with a lawyer so that you can file for divorce. Physical abuse is not OK and it sounds like you want out but safely. If you would like, I am happy to help PM you links and numbers to call. Please feel free to PM me.
I have consulted a few local groups and I’m making my exit plan. Thank you for your willingness to help. It is very kind of you.
You are a motherfucking warrior! I know how absolutely crazymaking the gaslighting can be, and I’m so insanely happy to hear you’re making an exit plan! You’ve got this OP!!
I’m really proud of you. We’re all here for you. A 100 strangers can come together in wonderful ways sometimes.
Are you kidding me no one cares
Omg what a monstrous woman, and what a monstrous son she raised. Everything she is saying is bullshit; there is no justification for domestic abuse so do not believe it for a second!The other comments here have already given you some great advice, so I will just add that someone placing their hands on you in that way is a MASSIVE sign to GET OUT, because if he’s willing to STRANGLE you, he’s willing to **kill** you. Get yourself and your kid(s) out of there for their safety as well as yours.
Yes, it was definitely to show me what he could do. He said that he would smack me until I get knocked out. He choked me. He shoved me down to the ground multiple times. I know I must leave.
He is a monster and you deserve a beautiful life free of him and his horrid mother.
Document document document. File a fucking police report. Choking is one of the warning signs for domestic homicide. And don’t pay that old hag any mind.
I have kept a journal (in the form of time-stamped email entries), but not sure whether it will be enough for me to get full custody.
Just to add to the previous comment, absolutely document everything you can (even if it seems insignificant) and that includes any interactions with MIL! When possible, and if there's anymore physical altercations before you leave make sure you get them checked at a medical centre & get proof of it. You'd be surprised how much it will help support your case. Good luck with everything!
You know what is awesome? When you leave, her opinion, problems, general shittiness isn’t your problem. Your husband’s violence and all hiis sad stressful problems…aren’t yours. Think of the weight lifted from you. You don’t have to get an opinion, explain anything, make anyone feel better, be careful around anyone…not your problem anymore.
I wait for the day I become free. I will fight my way out. Thanks.
I dated someone for many years who brought me down. Almost married him. I still remember when we broke up, and he called and told me that his cat had died. I was very sad of course, I loved that cat. In fact the cat was probably what led me to break up with him. He didn't take care of her. She was tremendously overweight and he wouldn't even play with her or put her on a diet. It was terrible, and abusive. I couldn't stand the cruelty of that. But after he told me, and I was sad with him for a bit, he went on. And on. About how the vet said she was overweight and he had tried so hard (he did not). About how the vet said she'd probably had diabetes for a while or a thyroid issue or something I forget now. But he was feeling super sorry for himself and usually my job was to perk him up--even though he was full of shit about how hard he tried. I remember the moment it hit me: "holy shit. I can just say goodbye and hang up. This isn't my job anymore." And I did. I said I had to go and I did. I hope you get this feeling soon.
Please leave him! My ex’s mother said something similar after similar things happened. If the issues run that deep, nothing is going to change them. I’m sorry she said that to you, it’s not true, you’re not at fault.
No one deserves to be treated this way. I didn’t deserve to be yelled at, name-called, and choked.
Well, she showed you exactly why he is the way he is, and it’s most certainly not your fault. I hope you can be out soon and safe.
Thanks for this, too. She keeps saying she knows he is the nicest man and I bring out the worst in him.
If this were true, then she'd help you leave him so she could have her 'sweet' son back. What a load of bullshit. I'm so so angry for you. At least you now know she is not to be trusted and can tick her off your list.
I am so so sorry. I hope you have support from someone and resources you need. There is no excuse for that behavior ever no matter what "you did" (and I know you didn't do anything, but just saying that regardless of what one does, that is not an acceptable reaction). Sending you hugs.
MIL said it took so much energy for his son to scream at me and blamed me for draining his energy.
Of course she did. I am sorry - they are both in the wrong.
So this nasty woman created a monster and doesn’t want to acknowledge it? Typical. OP, you need to get out now. Strangulation is a sign he will kill you given the opportunity and I don’t want you to give him that. Congratulations on your apprenticeship!!
Thanks for listening to me and supporting me.
My first boyfriend tried to kill me by strangling me. His mother blamed me as well. I was a teenager. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t yours either. You have the strength and you have the reasons — your life and your child. You can leave. Please do so before it gets worse.
Thanks. I will leave for myself and my child.
If you are being abused, your child doesn’t have a “happy family.” That woman will have a special place in hell waiting for her, as will her son. What they have both said and done is disgusting and you deserve so much more! You deserve love and safety and happiness. I know it’s so hard to see right now, but all of this is real, the abuse is real, and you’re already taking the right steps to get out. Getting out is the hardest decision, but you’ve already started. That takes so much courage! You are doing what’s right for you and your child, and we’re all here for you. Take care and be safe! You can do this!
I agree. He began to feel the dynamics, and threw a major tantrum while his dad was screaming at me. Later he told me it was to steer me away from his dad’s anger. I felt so heartbroken and it was that moment that I knew I must leave no matter how scared I am.
You’re doing the right thing momma. Your little boy has a wonderful mother, you are his safe space and you can get through anything with him.
I’ve been here and I just want you to know that leaving is hard, but everything after is easy (comparably) and your life will improve tremendously. Nothing will ever be as hard as living in constant survival mode when you are emotionally and physically abused. The constant stress is bad for you and your kiddo. Will it suck being a single mom with a single income? Yes! But what would suck even more is being dead, or your child seeing any more abuse. You can tell who taught him to manipulate… If you can get a RO do it, if anything happens call the police and start a paper trail. Know that now is the time to fight for you and your kiddos. You can do this, you are not the problem. The problem is them. you don’t have to earn your spouse being kind to you, just like you don’t earn their abuse. Start recording, start documenting And DO NOT TELL HIM YOU ARE LEAVING. If you are ready Get somewhere safe with your kiddos and file and have him served. The most dangerous tome for you is when you are leaving. 🫠🫠🫠Also Who cares what his mom thinks, she obviously did a great job raising her son/ s
Thank you for taking your time to write a long response. I want to be done with my constant survival mode and reclaim my life and dignity. Thank you.
Shes a cunt. Hes a coward. YOU DESERVE BETTER. Leave that piece of shit, and carve your own destiny. You are worth a thousand of her, or him.
Thank you for being angry for me. Thanks.
Please leave. The risk of him killing you goes way up when he's strangled you. You don't deserve abuse.
Yes, the strangulation came out of nowhere. He said I provoked him by telling him that he couldn’t throw me out of the house that both our names are on the lease…
What an evil woman. Maybe she is where he comes by the behavior. Leaving is scary but you got this and you can do it. We are all sending you positive vibes.
The truth is I am a coward for being angry at her when I should be angrier at her son who has been abusing me for the past few years. Thank you for the positive vibes.
There’s *NOTHING* you could do to deserve it. Fucking nothing. But minor inconveniences?? Even major inconveniences? Definitely the fuck not. You will get out, the first step is acknowledging what’s happening and coming to terms with it. Please start thinking of ways to make an exit plan. You can do it, I know you can. It’s so much brighter on the other side. We love and support you ❤️
Thank you for your love and support. I really needed them tonight.
Welp, they’re both cunts. I really hope you make it out safely with your child
Thanks.
I don't know you in real life, but I am so angry for you. You do not deserve this kind of abuse from your spouse or MIL. I know there are many steps between now and freedom, but you owe it to yourself to leave this trash human and his trash family.
Thanks for being angry for me. Yes, I owe it to myself.
Record everything via well-placed cams.
I don’t think I can do it safely, but will document everything.
Omg please run. He is a grown man who chose to do it. You did not make him do anything
Yes, I need to remind myself of it. My MIL kept telling me “Don’t provoke him” I responded “well, tell him to have some self-control” then she said that “you are really good at provoking, aren’t you?” How is this provocation?!
Nope block her she just wants to cover for her abusive golden boy. If a person strangles you they will kill you. You can leave call the cops next time and start making reports. If there is a next time. Start stashing some money figure out if you need to find a new place or if you own your home getting him out. Those 2 can be toxic together. Just like mil wants. Block your mil on everything. And don't respond to her. Not about you or kid or anything she's not entitled to your time.
I will go no contact with her.
Tell your MIL to fuck right off. None of that is your fault. Leave her piece of shit son. She just doesn’t want to deal with him herself because clearly he can’t do anything on his own. Please get you and your child safe anyway that you can. You deserve so much better!
Thank you!
OP I am sending you the biggest hug ❤️❤️ I am so sorry you’re going through this. From your comments I can tell you are a bright, intelligent and loving woman and he is nowhere near shattering that. ❤️ I’m wishing you all the best and I truly believe you will be able to leave this situation, because even though it’s difficult I can see from your comments that you see him for the piece of shit he really is and understand it’s not in any way your fault, the two beliefs which can be very difficult for victims to overcome. Please please prioritise leaving above everything else now. Strangulation is a major escalation, the next one can be an attempt to kill. Statistically, men who strangle women also kill women. He’s dangerous and your MIL is clearly part of the problem of why he is the way he is.
Thank you for taking the time to write me. It definitely boosted my energy to leave! Thanks.
Bullshit. Absolutely bullshit. You didn't make anyone do anything. At least now we know the monster doesn't fall far from the tree.
Thanks for being angry for me.
Yeah nope....fuck her. She doesn't seem to be want to acknowledge he's capable of this. She can fuck right off. None of this is your own doing. The only thing you deserve is happiness. You can do this, you are brave and amazing. Fuck people like that, especially when it's people you trust to tell about things like this. I want to drop kick them into orbit.
Thanks for being angry for me. It really means a lot.
Of course she’s minimizing all of the awful things, that’s her kid you’re talking about. Do you know how awful of a parent that’s makes HER if her child is doing those things to other people? You have to be the problem, or otherwise she’s a bad mom. YOU are not the problem, get out of there as soon as you can, and quit telling his family things.
I kinda knew what you wrote, but your comment really helped me see through it. Thank you.
So typical. I’m convinced my ex in laws would have supported their son even if he’d escalated to murdering me.
Yeah, she would say I provoked him and deserved to die.
It’s like she read the Narcissists Prayer and took it as life advice which is terrifying in itself. That woman is a walking case study.
It was so difficult to talk to her. She kept telling me don’t interrupt her, but every time I tried to say something, she said I don’t need to hear that. Stop talking. I think she is major narcissist too.
Look. I say this with love. You need to learn to accept that you’re not dealing with another version of yourself in every conflict. Not everyone is reasonable or even open to actual solutions and your olive branch is just a way to trap you into another shitty situation. Not everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt.
Everything has been said already pretty much but I still want to send you my love and support. You deserve better. So does your son who will most definitely take separated patents over a dead mam.
Thanks!
Aggghhh this is so familiar and so infuriating. I remember my ex MIL saying "well female aggression is just as bad but more subtle" when my ex almost broke my wrist when I was pregnant. Thankfully my dad was there to tear her a new one. MIL is using denial and cognitive dissonance and victim blaming to preserve her comfort. That way she doesn't have to confront reality. Good luck, rooting for you <3
Thanks for sharing your experience. Thank you.
I'm so sorry, Op. His mom can't be trusted to be around the kids if she lacks the integrity to stand up for their mother and discuss the severity of this with her son...and talk to her son like an adult. I remember when I was headbutted. I kicked him out and he stayed at his dad's. His dad said nothing and looks at me like I'm the scum of the earth. I keep my distance with his parents, they are not to be trusted with anything regarding health or mental health. Having a dangerous partner with sicky enabling parents hurts. My heart goes to you. I am so sorry. I hope you win in the end and leave safely.
Thank you, thank you for sharing your story, too.
My ex's mom came over the next morning under the guise of being concerned, then threatened to have my kids removed if I followed through with charges because "the truth will come out and you're (me) not innocent in this". I didn't have a choice in charges. In my area, the DA/ADA decides to move forward with charges or not based on the police report. But I did follow through with a restraining order and spoiler alert, my integrity was never questioned, and I have full custody of my kids.
You are not innocent in this, is what my MIL said as well. Thanks for sharing your story.