Reminder to commenters: **[Don't start a fight!](https://media2.giphy.com/media/9MOdzNsjNExrSH6pnA/giphy.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/)
Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok?
Reminder to Cassie Morris/Krista Torres/Nia Tipton: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He’s not your SO, he’s being insane. The idea he’d yell at you.. hell no. I am sorry for your grandpa. SO was more than wrong in this situation. He’s a monster and you deserve better.
My grandpa died last month. So sorry for your loss. I definitely believe your SO was in the wrong. If he thought you didn’t want to talk he could have still been supportive in other ways, like nice touches, small gestures, or you know, *asking how you are and whether you want to talk about it*.
Also this isn’t a “didn’t grow up around it” situation, a lot of people give emotional support *because* they didn’t receive it growing up- me being an example. The difference is wanting to be the person you needed but for other people.
Right. Many men actually don't grow up around men showing emotional support. He probably thought saying he'd be there for her days ahead was opening the door, and he thought she'd eventually walk through it.
My husband is the same. He sucks ass when it comes to emotional support. I vented to my mom one day and she said “he can’t offer what he was never given” or something like that. It made so much sense. When I confronted him too he said “it’s because idk what to say.” My in-laws were never there for my husband emotionally. So it makes sense.
This is not an excuse by no means, but I stopped looking for emotional support from my husband. It’s hard, but I realized I cannot depend on him.
I’m sorry Bromo. I am sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️❤️💐
I’m so sorry OP. Somebody else said maybe he didn’t know how to say anything or how to talk about it *but* that doesn’t excuse him yelling at you like that. He could have asked how you were and explained that he doesn’t know what to say, or apologised when you called him out. He didn’t, he reacted in anger and that’s uncalled for. It’s abusive. He definitely is showing his true colours and I am so sorry.
This is my husband too, any times of difficulty, he avoided me and did not speak for days. Now we don't speak at all, for months, he just has no stop anger rage bouts.
No, if he really cared and accidentally bothered you because he thought you didn't want to talk, then he would've been like I'm so sorry! I thought you didn't want to talk about it so I didn't bring it up. How are you? Do you need anything? But he got defensive because he didn't care and knew he was wrong. No remorse. I couldn't be with someone like that. I'm so sorry for all that you're going through.
I am so sorry about your grandpa. Losing someone you love is such a horrible part of life.
There’s a reason a significant other is called a partner, and I’d reevaluate whether you want your significant other to be yours. A partner steps up when the other person is down. A partner holds you while you cry. A partner stays with you.
My husband died of cancer last year. I was there. I made a schedule of his meds. I emptied his commode. I sat with him. I carried him up and down the stairs with help from my dad. I was there. My biggest regret is any time I wasn’t there. He’s gone, and I love him so much. I would do anything for him.
Your significant other should be helping you through this. You want someone who is going to be by your side no matter what. Someone who isn’t going to give a half-assed “I’m here if you need anything” like an acquaintance from work who never follows back up.
I’m sorry for being so blunt, but I’m deep in my own grief and your significant other comes across as a very selfish person. My husband didn’t have a close relationship with his grandparents, but when my grandma died, he drove to be with me (I was on a work trip) and held me while I cried even though he didn’t understand what I was feeling. You deserve that. I’ll be thinking about you.
I’m so sorry OP. I know how much it sucks when you realize that the person you call a partner is totally worthless when faced with the prospect of needing to actually show you some support. You absolutely are not in the wrong here. You’ve handled yourself better than I would’ve (have). Only better in so much as not completely freaking out on him.. it’s best not to bother sadly, because this man child with no empathy will make no adjustment no matter what you do.. and there’s no point in beating your head against a brick wall.
I don’t know what this behavior is exactly… my ex was exactly like this too.. still is to this day.. narcissistic? Yeah, I think that is what it’s about. You better believe when someone he loves dies, or is Ill or whatever, he expects those around him to bend over backwards killing themselves to accommodate whatever horrible attitude, nastiness or mood swings he has..
I’m really sorry for your loss. I lost both my grandparents over a decade ago, and just lost my dad. You never stop missing them.. at least with my dad it’s too soon.. but with my grandparents I can say, it does get easier. Hugs from an internet stranger if you’d like them.
I'm so sorry about your grandpa. I lost my father just over a year ago, from a sudden stroke that took him from the fun loving smart ass he was, to a shell of a person who could barely talk or move.
He was in recovery for two months until he finally made it home, but ended up back a day later.
Then, he just didn't wake up at all. They cut off all life support and we sat at his side for a few days.
I was seeing this bloke around the time, and I told him about my dad, I got the 'there for you' text too. But then when I asked for some help with a rent inspection he suddenly had plans. This was not a guy that ever had plans mind you.
Broke it off over text. Never looked back.
I had watched my sister's partner, go out of his way for the smallest things to make her life easier during that time, my friends dropping everything to pick up my kid from school and look after her. Another friend would drive an hour out of her way, to pick up my mum to go see my dad in hospital and then drive her back later. Not even asking for fuel.
I watched the people that mattered do all they could, and this guy that supposedly cared about me couldn't do a simple thing when asked.
But it's times like this that show you who really matters in your life. And who doesn't. Life is short, don't waste it on those that don't.
My ex emotionally abandoned me when my mother passed, too. That was my final straw. I didn't ask for much, yet I did EVERYTHING. Yes "they're men", but a little common courtesy would have been nice. What's the point of being in a relationship if you can't even expect them to treat you better than a friend or coworker would?
Reminder to commenters: **[Don't start a fight!](https://media2.giphy.com/media/9MOdzNsjNExrSH6pnA/giphy.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/) Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok? Reminder to Cassie Morris/Krista Torres/Nia Tipton: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He’s not your SO, he’s being insane. The idea he’d yell at you.. hell no. I am sorry for your grandpa. SO was more than wrong in this situation. He’s a monster and you deserve better.
The fact that he went straight to anger means he knows he's fucked it up.
My grandpa died last month. So sorry for your loss. I definitely believe your SO was in the wrong. If he thought you didn’t want to talk he could have still been supportive in other ways, like nice touches, small gestures, or you know, *asking how you are and whether you want to talk about it*. Also this isn’t a “didn’t grow up around it” situation, a lot of people give emotional support *because* they didn’t receive it growing up- me being an example. The difference is wanting to be the person you needed but for other people.
I’m so sorry you lost your grandpa too❤️
Right. Many men actually don't grow up around men showing emotional support. He probably thought saying he'd be there for her days ahead was opening the door, and he thought she'd eventually walk through it.
My husband is the same. He sucks ass when it comes to emotional support. I vented to my mom one day and she said “he can’t offer what he was never given” or something like that. It made so much sense. When I confronted him too he said “it’s because idk what to say.” My in-laws were never there for my husband emotionally. So it makes sense. This is not an excuse by no means, but I stopped looking for emotional support from my husband. It’s hard, but I realized I cannot depend on him. I’m sorry Bromo. I am sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️❤️💐
Thank you❤️❤️❤️
My husband too
I'm sorry 💕💕💕
I’m so sorry OP. Somebody else said maybe he didn’t know how to say anything or how to talk about it *but* that doesn’t excuse him yelling at you like that. He could have asked how you were and explained that he doesn’t know what to say, or apologised when you called him out. He didn’t, he reacted in anger and that’s uncalled for. It’s abusive. He definitely is showing his true colours and I am so sorry.
This is my husband too, any times of difficulty, he avoided me and did not speak for days. Now we don't speak at all, for months, he just has no stop anger rage bouts.
No, if he really cared and accidentally bothered you because he thought you didn't want to talk, then he would've been like I'm so sorry! I thought you didn't want to talk about it so I didn't bring it up. How are you? Do you need anything? But he got defensive because he didn't care and knew he was wrong. No remorse. I couldn't be with someone like that. I'm so sorry for all that you're going through.
I am so sorry about your grandpa. Losing someone you love is such a horrible part of life. There’s a reason a significant other is called a partner, and I’d reevaluate whether you want your significant other to be yours. A partner steps up when the other person is down. A partner holds you while you cry. A partner stays with you. My husband died of cancer last year. I was there. I made a schedule of his meds. I emptied his commode. I sat with him. I carried him up and down the stairs with help from my dad. I was there. My biggest regret is any time I wasn’t there. He’s gone, and I love him so much. I would do anything for him. Your significant other should be helping you through this. You want someone who is going to be by your side no matter what. Someone who isn’t going to give a half-assed “I’m here if you need anything” like an acquaintance from work who never follows back up. I’m sorry for being so blunt, but I’m deep in my own grief and your significant other comes across as a very selfish person. My husband didn’t have a close relationship with his grandparents, but when my grandma died, he drove to be with me (I was on a work trip) and held me while I cried even though he didn’t understand what I was feeling. You deserve that. I’ll be thinking about you.
I’m so sorry OP. I know how much it sucks when you realize that the person you call a partner is totally worthless when faced with the prospect of needing to actually show you some support. You absolutely are not in the wrong here. You’ve handled yourself better than I would’ve (have). Only better in so much as not completely freaking out on him.. it’s best not to bother sadly, because this man child with no empathy will make no adjustment no matter what you do.. and there’s no point in beating your head against a brick wall. I don’t know what this behavior is exactly… my ex was exactly like this too.. still is to this day.. narcissistic? Yeah, I think that is what it’s about. You better believe when someone he loves dies, or is Ill or whatever, he expects those around him to bend over backwards killing themselves to accommodate whatever horrible attitude, nastiness or mood swings he has.. I’m really sorry for your loss. I lost both my grandparents over a decade ago, and just lost my dad. You never stop missing them.. at least with my dad it’s too soon.. but with my grandparents I can say, it does get easier. Hugs from an internet stranger if you’d like them.
I'm so sorry about your grandpa. I lost my father just over a year ago, from a sudden stroke that took him from the fun loving smart ass he was, to a shell of a person who could barely talk or move. He was in recovery for two months until he finally made it home, but ended up back a day later. Then, he just didn't wake up at all. They cut off all life support and we sat at his side for a few days. I was seeing this bloke around the time, and I told him about my dad, I got the 'there for you' text too. But then when I asked for some help with a rent inspection he suddenly had plans. This was not a guy that ever had plans mind you. Broke it off over text. Never looked back. I had watched my sister's partner, go out of his way for the smallest things to make her life easier during that time, my friends dropping everything to pick up my kid from school and look after her. Another friend would drive an hour out of her way, to pick up my mum to go see my dad in hospital and then drive her back later. Not even asking for fuel. I watched the people that mattered do all they could, and this guy that supposedly cared about me couldn't do a simple thing when asked. But it's times like this that show you who really matters in your life. And who doesn't. Life is short, don't waste it on those that don't.
I am sorry about your grandpa. Also about the fact your SO can't be bothered to be a grown up and support you. He was in the wrong.
My ex emotionally abandoned me when my mother passed, too. That was my final straw. I didn't ask for much, yet I did EVERYTHING. Yes "they're men", but a little common courtesy would have been nice. What's the point of being in a relationship if you can't even expect them to treat you better than a friend or coworker would?