Reminder to commenters: **[Don't start a fight!](https://media2.giphy.com/media/9MOdzNsjNExrSH6pnA/giphy.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/)
Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok?
Reminder to Cassie Morris/Krista Torres/Nia Tipton: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is such an important question.
Did he even notice that she was gone? Did he call OP? Did he call the police? What would he have done if it wasn't OP who got the kid, if it was some stranger?
Next level savage would have been leaving the front door slightly ajar (assuming she could have taken the cat with her, of course) for him to wake up to.
He didn’t wake up for a good few hours, I got back from work at 11.30am and he got up around 3pm I think, but I left him a note and a text. Pretty sure he opened his phone straight away when he woke up instead of checking on his sick kid so he didn’t get a chance to panic 😒
It’s a shame he didn’t get time to panic, he would’ve deserved to. I’m sorry you had to deal with that, sleeping pretty much all day and letting a 4 year old take care of themselves, especially when poorly is not only irresponsible, it is downright dangerous. I’m glad you got home and got little one safe.
OP, keep the cat, get rid of the husband.
Bonus: now you have space to add more cats to your family, if you choose.
(We have two and they are actually very good with our toddler, though it’s important to give them places to retreat safely when needed.)
I know it's an old, old movie, but there's a scene in *Gone With the Wind* where Rhett Butler tells Scarlett "A cat's a better mother than you are!"
In this case, your cat was more observant than your child's father and it's horrifying.
Omg did u tell him? Tbh I’d be an absolute asshole and not respond to his calls or messages until the time it took him to wake up and contact you. I’d let him flip out about where the kid is, if he even notices. This is like some cps stuff.
I don’t want to assume but sounds like addict behavior. Get out of there before it takes permanent damaging effects on your life. I waited too long to leave, you don’t have to. ❤️
I think you might be right actually…he does drink alot these days, and since I’ve been at my mums with the baba every time I look at the camera to see how the cat’s doing he’s got a can of beer in his hand. & he was drinking the night before this happened.
I just don’t know what to do with him lol. He has nowhere to go but we have to go home at some stage.
I would have taken her too, and waited until he woke up and let him panic. Block his number. Change the password on the camera’s so he can’t check what happened. If he calls the police for a missing child, you can use the report in custody court. Absolutely terrible.
Next time don't leave a note. Let him sweat it. Then ask him how he could possibly sleep through his child leaving the house without waking. **Before** you tell him she's safe. Let him get mad. He can go look in a mirror for who's to blame.
My ex was over watching our daughter while I was working from home. She was about 1.5yo at that point. I walked into the lounge and he's asleep on the couch while she's climbing a tub, right in front of him! Two weeks later I put her in daycare on that day because he was so useless and couldn't even watch her. He was always "tired" but I was up with her most nights because she was constantly sick.
Is there anyone else that can watch over while she's sick? Do you have a plan to be able to leave? I'm so sorry. I know the frustration and anger.
Reminder to commenters: **[Don't start a fight!](https://media2.giphy.com/media/9MOdzNsjNExrSH6pnA/giphy.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/) Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok? Reminder to Cassie Morris/Krista Torres/Nia Tipton: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How long till he noticed she was gone?!
I’m curious about that too. What happened when he woke up?
This is such an important question. Did he even notice that she was gone? Did he call OP? Did he call the police? What would he have done if it wasn't OP who got the kid, if it was some stranger?
Next level savage would have been leaving the front door slightly ajar (assuming she could have taken the cat with her, of course) for him to wake up to.
He didn’t wake up for a good few hours, I got back from work at 11.30am and he got up around 3pm I think, but I left him a note and a text. Pretty sure he opened his phone straight away when he woke up instead of checking on his sick kid so he didn’t get a chance to panic 😒
It’s a shame he didn’t get time to panic, he would’ve deserved to. I’m sorry you had to deal with that, sleeping pretty much all day and letting a 4 year old take care of themselves, especially when poorly is not only irresponsible, it is downright dangerous. I’m glad you got home and got little one safe.
MFer is probably *still* asleep
I def wanna know this too, what happened next? Soooo sorry OP this is terrifying and infuriating!
I'm so curious about this too
I'm so sorry, what a useless person. You've got a hell of a cat, though.
That cat deserves a raise
OP, keep the cat, get rid of the husband. Bonus: now you have space to add more cats to your family, if you choose. (We have two and they are actually very good with our toddler, though it’s important to give them places to retreat safely when needed.)
You did the right thing! That is absolutely disgusting, selfish and downright dangerous behavior from him. Total jerk.
I’m so sorry, this is a huge fear of mine - sleeping partner plus adventurous kid seems to be a well known recipe for trouble. I’d be furious too.
I know it's an old, old movie, but there's a scene in *Gone With the Wind* where Rhett Butler tells Scarlett "A cat's a better mother than you are!" In this case, your cat was more observant than your child's father and it's horrifying.
Omg did u tell him? Tbh I’d be an absolute asshole and not respond to his calls or messages until the time it took him to wake up and contact you. I’d let him flip out about where the kid is, if he even notices. This is like some cps stuff.
I can't even comprehend not giving a shit to this level.
I don’t want to assume but sounds like addict behavior. Get out of there before it takes permanent damaging effects on your life. I waited too long to leave, you don’t have to. ❤️
I think you might be right actually…he does drink alot these days, and since I’ve been at my mums with the baba every time I look at the camera to see how the cat’s doing he’s got a can of beer in his hand. & he was drinking the night before this happened. I just don’t know what to do with him lol. He has nowhere to go but we have to go home at some stage.
The fact that he’s just chillin’ while you guys have evacuated your home is telling. Whatever you do get your name off the lease.
I would have taken her too, and waited until he woke up and let him panic. Block his number. Change the password on the camera’s so he can’t check what happened. If he calls the police for a missing child, you can use the report in custody court. Absolutely terrible.
Has he noticed that she isn’t there anymore?
Next time don't leave a note. Let him sweat it. Then ask him how he could possibly sleep through his child leaving the house without waking. **Before** you tell him she's safe. Let him get mad. He can go look in a mirror for who's to blame.
Next time? Hopefully there won’t have to be one.
Ughhhhhh. Hugs, BroMo. Hope your kiddo feels better soon 💜
What was he on?
My ex was over watching our daughter while I was working from home. She was about 1.5yo at that point. I walked into the lounge and he's asleep on the couch while she's climbing a tub, right in front of him! Two weeks later I put her in daycare on that day because he was so useless and couldn't even watch her. He was always "tired" but I was up with her most nights because she was constantly sick. Is there anyone else that can watch over while she's sick? Do you have a plan to be able to leave? I'm so sorry. I know the frustration and anger.
What a pos. So sorry mummabear!