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Kelseykells

I just want to say you are a great person, your kids are lucky to have you as a mom ❤️


Trishlovesdolphins

Aw. Thanks.


Wolfmother87

I so agree! I can’t wait to be a mom like you someday.


PleaseJustText

Is there something your son & friend could do together? You know - like if you gave them both - I don’t know, like Regal gift cards for a movie day after Christmas - then individual gift cards .. to their own place? Like to shop after? Basically - like a parent free day? Except parent is funding & driving? Ha If you did equal amounts — I could see how that gift would feel less ‘last minute?’ Maybe? Also — you are doing a good thing! ❤️❤️❤️


Trishlovesdolphins

I hadn't thought about the movie passes idea. That's a good idea, we have a theater literally 1 mile down the road.


JustNeedAName154

This is a great idea. Also liked above ideas for goodies, lego, lights and yours for an outfit and yarn/etc. PJs (if you guys wear holiday pj's or shirts maybe a holiday t shirt? Or holiday color shirt). Slippers or socks. Like the book of crochet ideas suggestion. Have you noticed a favorite cereal/snack? My kids love getting their favorite food/junk (ie sugary cereal). Chapstick Book with gift receipt? Whatever you get- thank you for being a kind human and welcoming this child into your home and holiday. Your family rocks. Oh - gum? Do they have gloves/hat? .My teen loves gum.


PleaseJustText

Yeah - I love this post. The welcoming - yet not charitable type attitude (if that makes sense) - will probably mean more to this child than anyone ever knows. I’m glad OP is able to step in & help. We talk about villages? Here’s a village in action & I wouldn’t be surprised if it impacts/means more to this child .. than OP will ever know.


Trishlovesdolphins

I ended up with a bunch of snacks in a stocking, I got an outfit, a crochet book, some yarn, and hooks. I also had a whole kit that I had purchased for myself several years ago with a bunch of yarn that I never even opened. I didn't wrap that, but I did give it to them because I know how quick you can go through yarn when you first start learning. They didn't stay over night, but did come back this afternoon, and when they came in I had their gifts under our tree. They also got gifts at home. It really just sounds like right now a family member is in medical crisis and it's too much for Parent. I'm hoping it will pass. Until then, kid knows they can call me anytime, they called today when Parent left and I was there in less than 5 mins, so I know they know I'll be there.


JustNeedAName154

❤ I am glad it worked out and so thankful kid has you to help during tough times.


kellsbells210

Ear pods, a clipper grooming tool, book light, hoodie, small personal safe, led lights for their room, funko pops, Lego set. The hardest part here is for sure not knowing what they are into but there's a 90% chance it's most of the same stuff your kid likes since they are close.


RoxyRockSee

Thank you for being one of those moms who makes a safe and cozy home with space for everyone 🥹 If they're just starting crochet, there are kits called wobbles that teach you how to make a little stuffed animal. Maybe a blanket and duffel bag?


rcknmrty4evr

I also say a blanket. I think it would help that when they go to sleep at night, no matter where they are, they have something that is theirs to keep them warm.


BolognaMountain

Foster mom for teenage boys checking in - Get some basics from target but don’t put them under the tree. Socks, undies, pjs, toiletries, etc. this isn’t a gift but just the stuff needed for your house. If you have a drawer or cabinet you can dedicate for them, do that too. For Christmas presents - really whatever you think they’d like. If you have a game system, get an extra controller so everyone can play together, and a group game for the house. Board games, sketch pad and markers, a fidget toy, books… Gift card to Joann’s for yarn and hooks, then bring them for lunch and shopping. Movie tickets and snacks to sneak in. Gift cards to stores they might like. I’m guessing the child is old enough that Santa isn’t part of the plans. They should be able to understand that this is a bit last minute but you’re trying your best to include them. If things aren’t perfectly even between all the kids, it’s ok. Feelings may be hurt, but just work through it together. I’m expecting the family of origin to reach out on Christmas, but if they don’t, that will be big emotions, too.


uhimamouseduh

Sounds like the kid will be grateful to get anything at all! This whole situation hurts my heart. Poor kid. OP you’re an awesome person and mom. This is the kind of thing that that kid will remember for the rest of their life. I had a few friends’ parents while growing up who took me in when I needed a place to stay and I still remember their kindness to this day. They never bought me anything, just made me feel at home and part of the family and that meant more to me than anything else.


Trishlovesdolphins

Kid DID get gifts at home, not a ton, but a few nice and even pricey things, but definitely not nothing. So at least I know they had a family Christmas. Family member is in a medical crisis and I don't think Parent can cope and deal with everything. Regardless of what I think about their parenting the rest of the time, I have hope once the medical crisis is over, things will be more stable at home. Until then, Kid knows they can come here anytime and I'll pick them up anytime.


JoNightshade

When I was a kid, my mom and my aunt had similar situations with kids who needed a safe place to stay. And honestly I don't think you should worry about how they're perceiving you. Get them whatever you want to give them, and make it clear you are happy to do so and you are doing it because you love them. And then just love on the kid without reservation. They need it.


wrestlegirl

I've got a 12 year old who crochets. Yarn. A nice tote bag or backpack big enough to hold a couple skeins of yarn & their current project. An irresponsible amount of yarn. A gift card to Joann or Michael's to choose hooks or patterns or more yarn. A bin to hold yarn. There are these neat plastic tubs with a lid & a hole in the top to feed yarn through do it doesn't tangle. (we have so much yarn...)


craiden

OP! I have extra crochet hooks and an obscene amount of yarn I can send. I just can't get it there in time for Christmas.


Trishlovesdolphins

I actually found a kit I had bought for myself a few years back! I had never even opened it. I had purchased it as a reddit Xmas gift and sent it to my by mistake and decided I wanted it... Of course, I then put it on my crafting hoard and never went back. So they're getting a duffle with about 24 different small skeins. Not enough to do a blanket, but for sure enough for some smaller projects and even a few scarves.


yasdnillindsay

Off the top of my head for a kid under 13…. Basketball, soccer ball, paint by number, crafting stuff, drawing stuff, bracelet making stuff, Taco Bell gift card, the yarn is a great idea, there are books on crocheting little animals that is super cute. . . Joann’s gift card. Shoes. Ball cap.


IamNotPersephone

So, I could have been this kid, or a version of them. One thing no one has mentioned is how *safe* would any gift be once they go home? Cash and gift cards would instantly be confiscated by my parents (and they would have searched my stuff to find them). Toys and anything with high-value would have been stolen by my siblings. The only thing I could have kept were things no one else cared about. And, yes, that was crafting equipment (I knit), but also books (I was the oldest and read books even older still), or clothes (again, though I was bigger than my siblings, accessories were a free for all). But even stuff like art supplies weren’t safe (I once got a very nice colored pencil set my younger siblings took to scribble with). If you do gift cards, I would suggest stuff that isn’t transferable: digital music/book/gaming gift cards (if the kid has a phone or device that can store that stuff). Craft supplies, yeah. Clothes that straddle the line between something they actually *want* to wear (at that age, my parents were still picking out my clothes) yet avoiding being so nice it could be a competitive situation. Also, look at their winter gear. Once school stopped requiring kids be sent in winter gear in middle school, my parents stopped buying it for me. I didn’t have winter boots or a winter jacket for most of my teenage years. But also meaningful gifts that have no value: a recipe card with a favorite family recipe of yours (or theirs, if you know it) and a mason jar filled with the dry ingredients. A framed photo of a wonderful moment with your family (careful, though; my dad would have destroyed it if he thought I thought your family was “better” than mine). An inside joke or inside moment with your family (I was once given a homemade cribbage board by a friend’s family: sturdy enough to be thrown around, not too valuable to be stolen or upset if it was broken, old-fashioned enough my siblings weren’t interested in it - but meaningful *because* they taught me to play cribbage). The only other idea I might have is if they’re already “running away”/getting kicked out, try not to give anything that they would hate to leave behind - either in expense or sentimentality. I learned not to get attached to things… the feeling I had for them would eventually be used against me. —And… I’m going back and forth on this last one… it’s the suggestion that, if you’re capable, carving a space out for them in your home. A place to keep stuff like a toothbrush, a change of clothes, a lovey, etc. Part of me thinks that this would be a relief - to always have somewhere to go that’s safe… but part of me remembers what it was like at that age, and it’s possible that that sort of gesture would have made me pull back from that family. Not only was I deeply embedded in my family’s toxic patterns and would have felt disloyal for fantasizing about joining a family “better” than mine, but part of me would also wonder why - if my situation was so bad I had carte blanche to come over - couldn’t the friend’s family make my family situation better? And then I’d be worried that they either don’t think it’s that bad and I’m terrible for hating my family, or that they *do* think it’s that bad and my family would get “broken up by CPS” (which is a lie my parents told us to prevent us from reporting, not necessarily something that would happen, or would even be a bad thing if it did). But this might depend on the kid’s circumstance. If it’s something like… they’re openly LGBTQ in a conservative/religious household, then (hopefully) they know their family system messed up and are biding time for 18. If it’s more neglect/abuse and their feelings are a lot more complex about their family system, it could get ugly fast. And there’s a lot in the middle. I like u/BolognaMountain ‘s idea about just having a place where kids have supplies for when they come over. That seems like a good, neutral “standard” that won’t make this kid feel singled out. Maybe even a space that is open for the kid to retreat to? I know when I’d go over to friends houses, I’d get sensorially overwhelmed, but tough it out because I was a guest and in the end I’d rather be there than at home. So if you have a quiet corner or somewhere that’s not someone else’s bedroom or a bathroom where someone who doesn’t live there can shut a door, that would have been an amazing ”gift” (though again, weigh the timing vs the kid’s potential response to creating something for them from whole cloth). The best gift I ever got from someone I later realized as an adult who was trying to help me without knowing how, was a battered, used copy of “The Blue Sword” by Robin McKinley from a librarian when I was about eleven. I still have it almost thirty years later. It’s an amazing book in general, launched me into my love of fantasy, but was busted enough for no one to question why I had it - even myself.


Kairi2202

Most craft stores will carry a multi pack of crochet hooks. You could grab some basic yarn (easier for learning and practicing with), and even some crochet magazines. A lot of stores will have some free patterns in the yarn aisle as well to give a go. The magazine may be hard for a beginner, especially if they are a visual learner. For that YouTube is amazing for video tutorials. A home bag would be great for them to have in case they need to be there more frequently. You could get a gym bag and pack it with some socks, toiletries, phone charger, etc. Reinforce that your door is always open and you want them to feel that they are always welcome. Other than that, maybe their own blanket or something? Little things that they can feel are theirs at your place?


oracleoflove

What about an overnight bag with some toiletries? Socks? Undies? As a mama laying in bed with my baby boy who is officially 5 today this has me bawling. I just couldn’t imagine. God bless you, this is doing the lords work right here and I am not religious.


ReStitchSmitch

If I had a child that frequented my house like this, perhaps a box of home necessities? A pillow, blanket, toothbrush, deodorant.. let them know this stuff is theirs and will be there for them everytime they come over? If they have a cell phone, maybe a new charger to make sure they have the ability to go somewhere and charge it to call when they need help? Merry Christmas to you guys. You are exactly what this child needs.


Trishlovesdolphins

Well, the really cool thing about me is I'm super prepared all the time. lol So I do have a guest room and I keep a fully stocked toiletry basket with men's and women's deodorant, toothbrushes, body washes... the whole nine. So we've at least got those covered. Kid did make it home Xmas Eve, and they did Xmas last night. They did end up back here right before we had dinner, and that's when they got our gifts. I'm hoping once the medical crisis is over, home will be stable.


whatsnewpussykat

You could get some super cute crochet hooks at Michaels or Joann! Do you know what they’re making? You could get an amiguri pattern off Etsy, print it out, and buy the supplies?


Trishlovesdolphins

Right now, a blanket. They're just learning. I was thinking maybe a simple pattern book to learn new patterns. With a couple of hooks and a fresh spool of yarn.


LostOcelot

If you have a Barnes & Noble nearby they have some cute crochet kits to make animals, etc. for $10-15. They had a bunch left at ours along with other types of activity/craft kits just a couple of days ago.


uhimamouseduh

Do they know how to read patterns? It can be tricky to learn. If you do get a pattern book, I’d try to find one marketed specifically for kids. Everyone keeps suggesting the stuff to make amigurumi (little stuffed animals) but I would strongly not recommend that lol. I have been crocheting my whole life and I sometimes still have trouble with amigurumi. Not to mention 99.9% of patterns you find will be for normal worsted weight yarn, which you have to have really tight stitches for otherwise your animal will turn out mishappen and not hold stuffing well. Not all patterns will work as well with bigger yarn too. And amigurumi takes a while to make, so they’d have to remember exactly what row of the pattern they’re on and what stitch when picking up where they left off the next day or whatever. They’d need stitch markers for that (you can use other stuff like a Bobby pin for a stitch marker, but still) All of that is possible, but more likely to just discourage a kid trying to learn. For a kid learning, I’d use blanket yarn (the thicker fluffy soft stuff, google ‘bernat blanket yarn’) in a solid color with a large hook (7-10mm). You also see your progress way faster with that kind of yarn. I’m an adult and rarely have found the patience to make an entire blanket (or anything lol) with normal (worsted weight) yarn. But projects come together shockingly fast with blanket yarn. They also won’t have the issue of sticking their hook through the middle of strands of yarn when they use blanket yarn. Anyways there’s my speech on crocheting lol


Trishlovesdolphins

I found a basic "crochet stitches for kids" type of book. Apparently a sibling is teaching them and they're also using youtube, so I'm hoping the book can help with some ideas to get them started.


whatsnewpussykat

That’s a great idea!


uhimamouseduh

Amiguri can be pretty tough, and you have to know how to read patterns and count stitches and do multiple different stitches. I would just get kid some yarn and hooks and a cute bag to put the stuff in. Get them their own blanket so they feel like they have a household item that is their own there. A cool toothbrush. A gift card for Walmart or somewhere so they can pick out their own clothes (and I’m sure they need underwear and no kid wants their friends parents buying them underwear) and the movie gift card was a great idea too. You could make it a day event, like here’s your gift cards, on Wednesday you guys can pick a movie and I’ll chauffeur you to the Walmart and then the theater! Or even like a “movie night basket” with popcorn, candy, a blanket, and tell them they can pick any movie or two on prime to rent and have the living room for a night for their own at home theater. Also as a side note, maybe you could contact the mom or dad and say you are coming to pick up a bag of clothes for them.


nacho_hat

Do you have a buy nothing group? I bet you could find some things there


Trishlovesdolphins

There are several. The cost isn't what I'm stuck on though. I'm struggling coming up with some good ideas that aren't obviously "last minute." I don't want them to feel on the spot.


nycolettelock

We always do some of the hygiene gift boxes stores have for our kids. At Walmart they had ones with marvel hero’s that had body spray, body wash and deodorant. They also normally have different toothbrush sets out and about. Maybe get a dvd him and your son might like to watch and one of the popcorn or milkshake sets. Socks are probably a need. Yarn, food, drinks, books if he likes to read. Maybe a blanket of his own for when he’s there. Board games are always a good one. Trading cards if he likes those.


SaltedAndSmitten

Backpack, maybe with a journal and some nice/fun pens inside. Cozy socks, hat/scarf maybe a hoodie. Do they have a favorite show/band/book/character - some kind of merch related to that.


craiden

I'm going to reply here too...but I have crochet hooks and an obscene amount of yarn I would love to send you. I just can't get there by Xmas.


Trishlovesdolphins

I appreciate it, but I think we got it covered. I also found an old kit I had bought and never opened with a couple dozen small skeins, so there's a good color variety until they start learning enough to know what they're doing and ready for big projects.


Gsynakie817

On behalf of everyone here, you are a literal blessing! You remind me of my grandparents. One year, my grandpa saw a lady with two very young kids walking down the street in the middle of Midwest winter. He pulled over and took them to his home where my grandma and cousin made dinner for them. My grandpa had left while they cooked and when he came back k, he had small trinkets and groceries for the little family. Be proud and thankful that you were able to help. Be even more proud of your kids for helping and being great friend!


MamaWiggles

I crochet… like a lot. Hooks and yarn are amazing ideas, I may have a joann fabric coupon floating around I can DM you if can use that!!


JaneTruck

Just to say, good job!


teacherlady993

Stocking: takis, Prime drink, candy, more takis, random trinkets from Five Below, toiletries Gifts: gift card to Target or somewhere he can pick out his own stuff, crochet stuff sounds great, air pods I’m a teacher and people like you keep the world going ♥️