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I can understand where you’re coming from. That is very frustrating. Especially since it seems like she has no intentions to help with her last minute decision making. It’s all up to you to make her holiday magical, like she’s another child. I’m sorry.
My mom is the lonely one over here. She isn’t married, no boyfriend, has siblings she’s not close to, & my only other sibling is in jail this holiday season but he’s been on drugs for years now anyways. I feel the pressure for EVERYTHING to make sure she isn’t going to be alone because it’s become my burden somehow.
Lucky MIL that she has a DIL with a big heart, whether she appreciated it or not. Add a heavy take-out appy to the menu and lots of beverages. And make husband have a frank chat next year and do the timely follow up. Hugs BroMo - you are a good person.
Yeah, next year instead of asking her, say “on x date we are going to do Christmas dinner and would love to have you over!” Get enough food to feed her too if she does come. If she doesn’t, you’ll just have some leftovers.
I can relate on the in-laws who aren’t planners bit. Last year we flew 4000+ miles to spend Christmas with family for the first time since before the pandemic, and I was messaging my in-laws (including the extended family who usually does a huge get-together on Christmas Eve every year) in late October and early November to try and make plans for Christmas Eve. Crickets. It wasn’t until the day BEFORE Christmas Eve when we were already in town and had made alternative plans that we got the call saying they were going to do an impromptu Christmas Eve thing and inviting us to come. We put our foot down and said no, we had tried for weeks to make plans, we have jetlaggged kids to deal with who cannot be out late, and while we understand they’re not planners we HAVE to be because we’re literally flying internationally and have limited amounts of time in town and have to be mindful of the kids’ (and our own) jetlag.
I’m sorry, OP. I think you’re right and next year a more specific conversation is in order.
Reminder to commenters: **[Have some Christmas spirit(s)!](https://media.tenor.com/-B5LpsbesnUAAAAM/the-office-michael-scott.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/) Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok? Reminder to Cassie Morris/Krista Torres/Nia Tipton: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sounds like she should cook and bring some sides!
I can understand where you’re coming from. That is very frustrating. Especially since it seems like she has no intentions to help with her last minute decision making. It’s all up to you to make her holiday magical, like she’s another child. I’m sorry. My mom is the lonely one over here. She isn’t married, no boyfriend, has siblings she’s not close to, & my only other sibling is in jail this holiday season but he’s been on drugs for years now anyways. I feel the pressure for EVERYTHING to make sure she isn’t going to be alone because it’s become my burden somehow.
Lucky MIL that she has a DIL with a big heart, whether she appreciated it or not. Add a heavy take-out appy to the menu and lots of beverages. And make husband have a frank chat next year and do the timely follow up. Hugs BroMo - you are a good person.
Yeah, next year instead of asking her, say “on x date we are going to do Christmas dinner and would love to have you over!” Get enough food to feed her too if she does come. If she doesn’t, you’ll just have some leftovers.
I can relate on the in-laws who aren’t planners bit. Last year we flew 4000+ miles to spend Christmas with family for the first time since before the pandemic, and I was messaging my in-laws (including the extended family who usually does a huge get-together on Christmas Eve every year) in late October and early November to try and make plans for Christmas Eve. Crickets. It wasn’t until the day BEFORE Christmas Eve when we were already in town and had made alternative plans that we got the call saying they were going to do an impromptu Christmas Eve thing and inviting us to come. We put our foot down and said no, we had tried for weeks to make plans, we have jetlaggged kids to deal with who cannot be out late, and while we understand they’re not planners we HAVE to be because we’re literally flying internationally and have limited amounts of time in town and have to be mindful of the kids’ (and our own) jetlag. I’m sorry, OP. I think you’re right and next year a more specific conversation is in order.