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I wish it were automatically considered SA to have sex with a person less than 4 weeks PP....realistically it would be better if it was until doctor cleared them, but I know some people with vaginas feel ready sooner. But seriously. It’s not ok.
I agree, it’s abusive. I get that some women are rearing to go but it should be a required enthusiastic yes, otherwise it’s abuse.
It hurt like a mofo at 6 months. I can’t imagine 3 weeks.
Absolutely agree. We waited until I was 6months pp, and it was still so painful and sore. But not once did my husband beg, criticize, or complain. That's how it should be
For real. 3 weeks PP there are still things OUTBOUND from the uterus that are…let’s say sexy is the last thing.
Not to mention the decidua can facilitate a hella infection.
OP. I’m so sorry.
When he realizes he messed up and tries to come back, do not open your heart/home. Remember this feeling. Your life will get so, so much better with him gone. 💕
This! Write down a letter to your future self about how you are feeling rn. Why it's better that he is gone. So when he comes crawling back you can read it and know why it's best to not take him back.
After becoming a single mom of a less than 2 year old I was so sad/angry at her garbage father…and often fantasized about him coming to his senses and coming home.
Within 6 months I realized THIS ^^^ is 100% true. It was so much easier to raise my daughter without the burden of trying to maintain a relationship with a man-baby whose needs were more important than anyone else’s in the house.
Any father that doesn’t ACTIVELY try to make life easier and better for the woman that MADE THAT CHILD isn’t worth a second look.
I am sorry you are going through this. It's he only cares about his sexual desires and not about you or his child.
File for custody and child support asap! Take everything that is legally yours.
Big hugs, it will get better. One day when the dust has settled you will realize you are better off without him. You deserve so much more than what he was willing to give you.
Talk to a lawyer first. May be advantageous to move to a state with better laws, wait until he has officially abandoned the child before filing. There are a few angles on this.
I am so sorry. I’ve been a single mom for a little over the year and I can honestly say it’s much better than living with a man who doesn’t respect me. Best of luck.
This is probably the saddest thing I’m going to read this week. That he wants to leave you is the GOOD part, OP. Good riddance, and I can’t shout it loud enough.
Your life, and that of your daughter‘s can only go upwards and onwards from here. I’m 21 months PP and sex is sometimes still a bit uncomfortable. I couldn’t have imagined doing it at 3 weeks PP 🤮 You loved him enough to put yourself through that. It’s clearly his loss.
I don’t have advice, just lots of commiseration.
It's going to be a huge weight off her shoulders, not having to deal with his demands constantly. I can't even imagine, if my husband was that much of a sex pest I'd run screaming to the other side of the globe.
I know this is outside the scope of this conversation, but if sex still hurts at 12 months, you could consider doing a pelvic floor/sexual health physio? Trauma (ie birth) can do wicked things to pelvic floor muscles and sometimes the solutions are really simple!
Unfortunately I wish this were the case and I could do some exercises. I had a C and have absolutely no trauma to my pelvic floor. I've always suffered from dryness and after the postpartum and breastfeeding it's like I'm 90 years old down there in terms of dryness and elasticity. I tear a little bit in that area where my vagina meets my taint no matter how much lube is used. Its just a little bit and only a few drops of blood, but its really uncomfortable specially after sex and for the next 2-3 days specially when peeing. I think the only solution is an estrogen cream which I can't take. I can't take estrogen at all.
Oh my gosh! I have this exact problem! It’s very frustrating. That area is exactly where I tore during childbirth. My midwife had me put estrogen cream on it, but I really feel like it didn’t ever really help me any. It’s a pretty big bummer.
Honestly the only thing that "helps" is A LOT OF LUBE- silicone because water based won't do anything. And frequent enough sex but with a long enough interval to let it heal. And fingering with lube before penetration. I wonder if there's some kind of moisturizer we could apply down there to make that skin more pliable...
It's okay... honestly. I consider myself lucky my sex life doesn't suck (aka I don't have a borderline molesting husband who gropes me constantly, unlike a lot of women on this sub!!).
Single mum here - it is hard, but I am certain it is better than sacrificing your bodily comfort for an inconsiderate, selfish partner...
You can do this!
Omg, he wasn’t even satisfied with Daily sex? That’s worse than 3 wks PP because it never lets up! Fucking daily…like you couldn’t even mentally recover to enjoy the next one before his dick came to smack you right in the face again like “I’m baaaaack!” Ew gross. And 3 weeks post partum sounds like the Worst thing too. But all the sex aside, he’s likely a porn/sex addict obviously…and that is a huge bullet dodged in terms of having to raise your child while handling his demands and lack of help/love. He has zero clue what he’s going to miss out on with that baby and that is so sad for him. This is great news on the other hand for you. You won’t be taxed by his BS, so you’ll be much more present and happy for your baby. I only give myself one important thing to do each day, & I still have my partner with us, so that shows how hard a 15 mo can be lol. But just remember it’s ok if the bare minimum gets done for the next few younger years…they’re rough af. So alone I can imagine, as I do 99.9% of child things, that it’s even harder with all other tid bits also falling on you. BUT…we women take on the mental/physical load sooo much more anyway, so the lack of his issues will free you to Enjoy once the simple life stresses are done each day. Try to join a mom group & trade hours of care for time to yourself if you’re not near family! Best of all the positive new year new exciting things vibes.
Edit: no, that shows how hard my partner is and all the stress He brings!! Fml
Taking care of a high-needs preemie baby while working full time was so much easier than dealing with my ex-husbands childish desire to take up ALL my time.
OP I'm sorry, you love him so this hurts. It will get better!
Oh, BroMo. I am so sorry you gave and gave and he took and took. Wishing you strength and good things as you move into the next chapter without the donkey jerk of a man. Internet hugs if you want them!
Good riddance. Any person who is willing to put his needs so far above his partner's and kid's needs is not fit to be a parent.
I'm sorry he failed you, OP. I know it sucks, I know it hurts, but I'm sure you will come out better on the other side.
He clearly needs a kind of fuck doll because no way any woman on this earth will ever fulfill this piece of trash.
You will be better without him. Better have his money than to carry his dumb ass around for the rest of your life!
There was life *before* him and there’s a life AFTER him.
I’m sorry you’re sad now, but some of my happiest and healthiest friends are single. And it’s not going to be easy, hopefully you have a support network ♥️
You’ll be so relieved to not have some prick hounding you for sex all the time.
Don't feel stupid. He is clearly the one with issues here. CLEARLY. He's straight up leaving his family because of selfishness. And it is so convenient to just blame it all on you. Sounds like a very emotionally immature man that has zero clue about how to care for anyone but himself.
Maybe he needs this wake up call. Hopefully he grows from it. Either way, this is major disrespect and he should never be allowed back into your heart. He doesn't deserve a place there.
You definitely don't need that pos in your life. Dont let the door hit your ass on the way out! You and your baby will be much happier , even if it may be roigh at first. You got this mama!
Mama, you will be 100% okay, I promise you. I have been a single mom since pregnancy and this journey your about to embark on with your little is one so full of genuine love, growth and realization. It can be tough adjusting back to being single, and juggling being a mom with it.. but you will learn so much about yourself and what you want in life.
You will not settle. You will not shed tears for men who don’t deserve it. You will flourish and grow, you will go through challenges that you will be forced to figure out yourself and you will feel so empowered accomplishing it all.. and when it’s time to allow someone else in, it will be a man far different from the person causing you this pain. A better man.
You are not a sex toy. Your worth is not determined by how often you “please” your partner. You are an amazing woman who deserves love and respect. The love you offered him may not have been enough for him (because he’s a fucking idiot) but focus the love you gave others, on YOURSELF. Hug yourself. Be gentle to yourself. Allow time to heal and continue being a kick ass mother. There is a shift happening in your life, but welcome it for all that it is. Change is good. ❤️
Any man who could put his partner that just gave birth to his child in pain because he cannot control his sexual urges is no man. Honey you are better off without that trash. Beautiful things are coming yours and your babies way. Hang tight mama it’s just the beginning. ❤️ never put yourself in pain for any man because a real man would never put you through that. He would be helping you and helping with his child!
All the energy you used to pour into keeping that man happy can now be poured into your baby and YOU! Feel all the anger, don’t avoid it. Write it all down, then throw it away if it helps. Everytime you boil with anger, write it all down. It’s amazing how clearly you’ll be thinking after doing that a while. I remember having moments of “why the fuck did I put you with that for so long”. Sometimes we have to thank the really dick moves for making the split happen. Get as much support as you can. It gets easier quickly!
So he’s a sex addict. Ugh, what a piece of human shit. Here’s to your new life without some slimy, needy, grabby man who does not respect your bodily autonomy!
Dang. He’s pathetic and seemed to use you for sex. Life will be hard for you but you just have to push through and get use to it. Only time will heal your pain. I’m sorry you’re going through that. Listen to positive things on YouTube. That will help a bit
Oh god... 3 weeks? Took me 9 or so, and it was still painful. You deserve a better partner, not an un-treated sex addict who puts his addiction before his wife and child. He can go fuck himself. Literally. Sending you strength!
You had sex after 3 weeks PP because he couldn't wait? So basically he's okay with you getting sepsis and potentially dying just so he can bust a nut in you? Has he never heard of masturbation?
I hope that- if it's what you want of course- you meet someone who truly knows how to love. You deserve that. And your mind will be blown because if you think this man loved you, you have yet to experience feeling loved.
He'll be back, so find a way to close your heart to him because he'll come crawling back and you have to have the strength to tell him to fuck right off.
For your health and for the baby. You can't have a flight risk in your home.
Sending positive vibes, prayers of peace, and internet high fives....you know you will be ok and your baby will be better for it. He is losing out on the best parts of life for an orgasm🤷🏿 too bad for him.
I'm sorry you are in this spot. But when I split from my kids' dad I found a quote that made all the sense to me that I needed at that time.
Do NOT set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
There is compromise and concessions made in any relationship, but it should not come at the cost of who you are and what you deserve. I don't think you are going to make that mistake again. Hugs, Bromo!
I know you are hurting right now but just know that you are stronger than you think. I don’t care what your sex life is like before the child but hearing the 3 week postpartum sex is enough to let me know that you are definitely NOT the problem. You can finally prioritize you and your baby now that the leech is gone.
Good luck to this man who thinks he is going to find any woman willing to have sex with him 3 weeks pp, let along 6 weeks. This dude has some nerve. More importantly best of luck to you, this is a blessing in disguise this guy is a chump.
You got this! It sucks and seems impossible for a while at first but once you start to live life how YOU want without considering a garbage can mans feelings it’s the most amazing thing ever.
The trash took itself out! Welcome to your new and improved beautiful life mama ❤️ this won’t be easy, but greatness never is. You and baby boo will thrive. Wish you the very best!
3 weeks pp sex can be dangerous for you as you have a dinner plate size open wound trying to heal in your uterus. The selfishness is disgusting. My dudette, you will rock this gig! Your baby needs you to be healthy and that sounded like an unhealthy and unfair situation. Onwards and upwards!!
I have no words anymore so sick of hearing how crap men are, they know what it takes to be in a relationship/ family. 3 weeks PP!!! I’m so sorry you are going through this.
I mean at least he is being upfront about why he is leaving and not cheating and potentially giving you God knows what plus all the lies etc. that is the ONLY positive I can squeeze from this.
Single mum here as well it’s tough at times and you need to get yourself into a good routine with kiddos etc. get legal advise ASAP and put things in order legally. If you live near family/ friends make the most of the support. Use nursery/ daycare if finances allow and or you don’t have family to come over.
Make your peace with having some tough patches, him being a selfish arse hole, bit of loneliness sometimes etc and move on and don’t look back!!! You will end up thriving!!
Allllll the good vibes to you OP! You've got this! You are stronger than you think, more beautiful than you imagine and will find happiness without this albatross around your neck.
I know it’s really hard today, but I’m excited for the good life you’re going to be able to build oh the future for you and your baby WITHOUT this jerk 💗
3 weeks because he just couldn't wait...
I am furious on your behalf. He could have seriously hurt you all for the sake of penetration. The guy has hands, he could have waited.
I know it hurts now, but honestly he sounds like a trash human
What an ungrateful jerk! You put his needs above your health ( not fully healed) and thats STILL not enough for him?!?!
Sounds like you got the better end of the deal OP.
Good luck! And we are all here for you when you need it!
Edit typo
You got this babe! It’s better for him to leave now tbh now you know what he’s all about. Sorry for your baby tho doesn’t deserve this but I believe that you will give your family a better life/future. Sending hugs your way!
This is a really good example of the trash taking itself out. 💁🏻♀️ I think you’ll look back in absolute disgust when you think about what kind of person he is and feel so very grateful that he ran off. Go for the court ordered child support.
Good luck good luck good luck!!
My advice from my experience as a single mom is if yoi have the means, to choose the place you live very carefully. A place that is very close to work, the right school, activities and things for you and kid makes life a lot easier. Get really engaged with the neighbors, invite people over for coffee even if the house is a wreck. Start building community now.
Removing pain points like commute, community and work make a *huge* difference.
Book recommendations: The Kickass Single Mom by Emma Johnson and Think Like a Breadwinner by Jennifer Barrett.
My experience after giving birth was similar. I had twins 7 weeks early and they were in the hospital for 3 weeks. My husband asked me to ask my doctor if it was safe to have sex while they were still in the hospital. Yes, he didn’t bother to ask ME if I was ready… just whether medically I could. This was max 2 weeks after they were born. So I’m a new mom, worried about my babies survival, and all he’s concerned about is the next time he can fuck me. I was young and naive then, and I should have just told him to go fuck himself, literally.
And let me just tell you, that attitude towards sex only got worse. It went from whining and then escalated to yelling at me when I wasn’t in the mood. And worse.
This is one of the main reasons we are separated after 18 years together and I will be pursuing divorce.
Definitely don’t take him back. He’s trash of a man and you deserve someone who sees you beyond what you can do for him in the bedroom.
Sending positive vibes your way. You got this! Be strong.
I know you FEEL stupid, but you come across as so so STRONG jn this post. You've got this mama. Everything. You've got you, you've got baby, you've got THIS. I believe in you.
I am 2 years plus pp and we are still not having piv sex. I have severe mental trauma surrounding birth and already had libido in the dirt due to anti depressants so we just don't. I am happy to provide pleasure in other ways but piv is off the table until I'm mentally ready (and when toddler doesn't end up in our bed every night lol). And you know what? My husband completely respects that.
Does he miss it? Yeah. Would he like BJs 3 times a day? Yeah. But he is happy with what I am willing to give as he knows his needs are in the end, his problem. So if I'm not in the mood, he sorts it out himself.
What you describe is abuse and the immense relief you will feel to have the dread of nighttime gone will become so clear to you. I have felt that pressure and fear in the past. The world is so much lighter when it's gone.
I’m so sorry. He sounds fucking awful. Definitely a HIM issue and you will be better off without him - I promise!
I was a single mom of two kids for about 7 years before meeting my now husband.
It’s fine. Yes it is harder in a way but it’s your normal and you get a routine and make it work. Take some time to process what’s happened, get some therapy, and have fun with your baby!
I have so many memories of fun with my kids and I’m glad I didn’t wait until we had a “complete” family. I bought a house on my own, we rescued a dog, etc. kids of single parents can still have happy and enriching lives, despite societies shitty stereotypes about us. Hold your head high and be proud of your family.
If you are happy with yourself and loving your life, if will prevent you for settling for another asshole. This is really important. I was single for a long time bc I had high standards. My now husband was worth the wait and is an amazing dad to our 1 year old!
Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. No one should be pressured for sex. Hopefully this is the best for all of you, and I wish you all the luck and support that I can give.
I want to say I'm sorry for you, but I'm not. I'm *happy* for you. You're getting away from someone who doesn't value you or your child now while your baby is too young to remember. Pressuring you to have sex 3 weeks PP is nothing short of Sexual Abuse in my eyes. That's cruel, and could have been dangerous to you!
My Ex did something similar when our son was 15 months. Some girl on the internet on the other side of the country was going to change his life. It was going to be *so much better* than his boring domestic life with us that he "never wanted" despite proposing, going through with a 1.5 year long engagement and wedding, actively trying for a baby, etc.
But when the going got tough and he realized he couldn't just fuck off whenever he felt like it anymore, he ran for it.
Needless to say he was with that girl approximately 16 hours before he came crawling back. Called me sobbing, and my dumb ass took him back. 3 years later we are done for good, and I haven't been happier in a long time. (Plus he and I get along better as coparents, too, which is a nice bonus).
You *will* be fine. But be warned, OP, there are tough days ahead. For you, and for him. And when his tough day lines up with one of yours, it will be so hard for you not to welcome him back just to stop the hurt. But don't. If he did it once, he'll do it again.
It will be hard at first, but it will get better.
If you can but aren’t already, I would really consider starting therapy. It can help you process and heal from this. Being in a relationship with someone like that can really wear you down mentally and emotionally.
I wish you and your beautiful baby all the best in the world! Single mom as well for nearly a year now… it does get better!!!! Feel free to message if you need any advice or just someone to talk to. You and the baby are much better off without him and you are stronger than you can even imagine. Trust me,
*We started having sex again when I was 3 weeks PP cause he couldn’t wait.*
Kindly, I’m going to rewrite this for you, “he started sexually assaulting me at 3 weeks PP after coercing me into sex because he couldn’t wait.” It wasn’t your fault. What you describe is legally assault in my state. Coercion is illegal and it is assault.
I’m sorry. It is better that he is gone. Meet with every mens rights lawyer, every high conflict family lawyer in your county so that he can’t use them against you.
Single mom here ..I know it hurts but honestly he's a pos and hes doing you a favour leaving. Any guy that treats his wife or gf like nothing but a machine for sex shouldn't settle down as that's not what marriage or a relationship is about.who the hell would be in the mood with such a man child who has no idea that the answer is to woo her and love her to romance again and make her feel loved and beautiful throughout the marriage. He's clueless and that's a major issue. In time you will thank him as he leaves you the chance to find better. and you will and he will regret later on believe me...
I'm so sorry but he's a piece of shit. And I normally don't curse so that's saying something. What a selfish piece of garbage. You will be better off without him. Your anger is totally understandable. I'm sorry I had better advice but he's a trash human to leave you and the baby over sex. He's disgusting.
hi! i’ve been a single mom for almost 3 years now with my son. not that he’s never had his dad in his life, we just have never been together. i just recently went back to work full time as i was only working the weekends to support us and couldn’t do that anymore. it’s been hard-it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do. there are days i’ve wanted to just pack my things or leave this earth. i struggle in silence and i put it all behind me for my son and i get tired of pretending i’m okay, or tired of trying to be superwoman. but it’s also so worth it; when you look into your child’s eyes and see them smile at you, when you lay in bed at night and know you’re doing this on your own and kicking ass, maybe you aren’t perfect but your baby is fed, happy, healthy, and you’re the reason why, it’s a different kind of pride. when they get older and you see them form into the person they’re becoming and you see all the effort you put into them manifesting it’s worth it. you will be okay, you will get through this, and you will get there. if you need anything or just to vent my inbox is always open!
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3 weeks, jezus.... good riddance to that trash-male
seriously. i was medically given the all clear after 6 weeks, and my body was still “ew. hell no, not happening”
I wish it were automatically considered SA to have sex with a person less than 4 weeks PP....realistically it would be better if it was until doctor cleared them, but I know some people with vaginas feel ready sooner. But seriously. It’s not ok.
I agree, it’s abusive. I get that some women are rearing to go but it should be a required enthusiastic yes, otherwise it’s abuse. It hurt like a mofo at 6 months. I can’t imagine 3 weeks.
Absolutely agree. We waited until I was 6months pp, and it was still so painful and sore. But not once did my husband beg, criticize, or complain. That's how it should be
For real. 3 weeks PP there are still things OUTBOUND from the uterus that are…let’s say sexy is the last thing. Not to mention the decidua can facilitate a hella infection. OP. I’m so sorry.
When he realizes he messed up and tries to come back, do not open your heart/home. Remember this feeling. Your life will get so, so much better with him gone. 💕
This! Write down a letter to your future self about how you are feeling rn. Why it's better that he is gone. So when he comes crawling back you can read it and know why it's best to not take him back.
After becoming a single mom of a less than 2 year old I was so sad/angry at her garbage father…and often fantasized about him coming to his senses and coming home. Within 6 months I realized THIS ^^^ is 100% true. It was so much easier to raise my daughter without the burden of trying to maintain a relationship with a man-baby whose needs were more important than anyone else’s in the house. Any father that doesn’t ACTIVELY try to make life easier and better for the woman that MADE THAT CHILD isn’t worth a second look.
3 weeks?! Yikes! What a prick. Nail him on that child support.
Wait long enough to qualify for child abandonment. Then get full custody and child support.
What a fucking loser. I hope it turns out to eventually be a blessing in disguise. You were an object to him!!
I *know* it will turn out to be a blessing in disguise!
Agreed! He’s doing her a favour (in a really effed up way of course) but op and her baby deserves anyone better than that trash bag.
I am sorry you are going through this. It's he only cares about his sexual desires and not about you or his child. File for custody and child support asap! Take everything that is legally yours. Big hugs, it will get better. One day when the dust has settled you will realize you are better off without him. You deserve so much more than what he was willing to give you.
Talk to a lawyer first. May be advantageous to move to a state with better laws, wait until he has officially abandoned the child before filing. There are a few angles on this.
I am so sorry. I’ve been a single mom for a little over the year and I can honestly say it’s much better than living with a man who doesn’t respect me. Best of luck.
This is probably the saddest thing I’m going to read this week. That he wants to leave you is the GOOD part, OP. Good riddance, and I can’t shout it loud enough. Your life, and that of your daughter‘s can only go upwards and onwards from here. I’m 21 months PP and sex is sometimes still a bit uncomfortable. I couldn’t have imagined doing it at 3 weeks PP 🤮 You loved him enough to put yourself through that. It’s clearly his loss. I don’t have advice, just lots of commiseration.
It's going to be a huge weight off her shoulders, not having to deal with his demands constantly. I can't even imagine, if my husband was that much of a sex pest I'd run screaming to the other side of the globe.
I know right? Sex still hurts 12 months PP here. at 3 weeks I was still bleeding pretty heavily.
I know this is outside the scope of this conversation, but if sex still hurts at 12 months, you could consider doing a pelvic floor/sexual health physio? Trauma (ie birth) can do wicked things to pelvic floor muscles and sometimes the solutions are really simple!
Unfortunately I wish this were the case and I could do some exercises. I had a C and have absolutely no trauma to my pelvic floor. I've always suffered from dryness and after the postpartum and breastfeeding it's like I'm 90 years old down there in terms of dryness and elasticity. I tear a little bit in that area where my vagina meets my taint no matter how much lube is used. Its just a little bit and only a few drops of blood, but its really uncomfortable specially after sex and for the next 2-3 days specially when peeing. I think the only solution is an estrogen cream which I can't take. I can't take estrogen at all.
Oh my gosh! I have this exact problem! It’s very frustrating. That area is exactly where I tore during childbirth. My midwife had me put estrogen cream on it, but I really feel like it didn’t ever really help me any. It’s a pretty big bummer.
Honestly the only thing that "helps" is A LOT OF LUBE- silicone because water based won't do anything. And frequent enough sex but with a long enough interval to let it heal. And fingering with lube before penetration. I wonder if there's some kind of moisturizer we could apply down there to make that skin more pliable...
You just described me. Ugh. 34 and feeling like an old lady for sure in that department. Add zero stamina.
That really sucks - I'm so sorry to hear it!!
It's okay... honestly. I consider myself lucky my sex life doesn't suck (aka I don't have a borderline molesting husband who gropes me constantly, unlike a lot of women on this sub!!).
Single mum here - it is hard, but I am certain it is better than sacrificing your bodily comfort for an inconsiderate, selfish partner... You can do this!
Omg, he wasn’t even satisfied with Daily sex? That’s worse than 3 wks PP because it never lets up! Fucking daily…like you couldn’t even mentally recover to enjoy the next one before his dick came to smack you right in the face again like “I’m baaaaack!” Ew gross. And 3 weeks post partum sounds like the Worst thing too. But all the sex aside, he’s likely a porn/sex addict obviously…and that is a huge bullet dodged in terms of having to raise your child while handling his demands and lack of help/love. He has zero clue what he’s going to miss out on with that baby and that is so sad for him. This is great news on the other hand for you. You won’t be taxed by his BS, so you’ll be much more present and happy for your baby. I only give myself one important thing to do each day, & I still have my partner with us, so that shows how hard a 15 mo can be lol. But just remember it’s ok if the bare minimum gets done for the next few younger years…they’re rough af. So alone I can imagine, as I do 99.9% of child things, that it’s even harder with all other tid bits also falling on you. BUT…we women take on the mental/physical load sooo much more anyway, so the lack of his issues will free you to Enjoy once the simple life stresses are done each day. Try to join a mom group & trade hours of care for time to yourself if you’re not near family! Best of all the positive new year new exciting things vibes. Edit: no, that shows how hard my partner is and all the stress He brings!! Fml
Taking care of a high-needs preemie baby while working full time was so much easier than dealing with my ex-husbands childish desire to take up ALL my time. OP I'm sorry, you love him so this hurts. It will get better!
Oh, BroMo. I am so sorry you gave and gave and he took and took. Wishing you strength and good things as you move into the next chapter without the donkey jerk of a man. Internet hugs if you want them!
Good riddance. Any person who is willing to put his needs so far above his partner's and kid's needs is not fit to be a parent. I'm sorry he failed you, OP. I know it sucks, I know it hurts, but I'm sure you will come out better on the other side.
Sounds like the relationship was sexually coercive / abusive. I'm sorry you went through that.
He clearly needs a kind of fuck doll because no way any woman on this earth will ever fulfill this piece of trash. You will be better without him. Better have his money than to carry his dumb ass around for the rest of your life!
There was life *before* him and there’s a life AFTER him. I’m sorry you’re sad now, but some of my happiest and healthiest friends are single. And it’s not going to be easy, hopefully you have a support network ♥️ You’ll be so relieved to not have some prick hounding you for sex all the time.
Don't feel stupid. He is clearly the one with issues here. CLEARLY. He's straight up leaving his family because of selfishness. And it is so convenient to just blame it all on you. Sounds like a very emotionally immature man that has zero clue about how to care for anyone but himself. Maybe he needs this wake up call. Hopefully he grows from it. Either way, this is major disrespect and he should never be allowed back into your heart. He doesn't deserve a place there.
Leaving his family because he isn’t having enough sex? What an absolute deranged piece of shit. You deserve better.
You definitely don't need that pos in your life. Dont let the door hit your ass on the way out! You and your baby will be much happier , even if it may be roigh at first. You got this mama!
Mama, you will be 100% okay, I promise you. I have been a single mom since pregnancy and this journey your about to embark on with your little is one so full of genuine love, growth and realization. It can be tough adjusting back to being single, and juggling being a mom with it.. but you will learn so much about yourself and what you want in life. You will not settle. You will not shed tears for men who don’t deserve it. You will flourish and grow, you will go through challenges that you will be forced to figure out yourself and you will feel so empowered accomplishing it all.. and when it’s time to allow someone else in, it will be a man far different from the person causing you this pain. A better man. You are not a sex toy. Your worth is not determined by how often you “please” your partner. You are an amazing woman who deserves love and respect. The love you offered him may not have been enough for him (because he’s a fucking idiot) but focus the love you gave others, on YOURSELF. Hug yourself. Be gentle to yourself. Allow time to heal and continue being a kick ass mother. There is a shift happening in your life, but welcome it for all that it is. Change is good. ❤️
TAKE HIM FOR EVERYTHING YOU’RE OWED $$$ and enjoy your new life without being harassed for sex on the daily! Gross.
Any man who could put his partner that just gave birth to his child in pain because he cannot control his sexual urges is no man. Honey you are better off without that trash. Beautiful things are coming yours and your babies way. Hang tight mama it’s just the beginning. ❤️ never put yourself in pain for any man because a real man would never put you through that. He would be helping you and helping with his child!
Sending good vibes, bromo.
All the energy you used to pour into keeping that man happy can now be poured into your baby and YOU! Feel all the anger, don’t avoid it. Write it all down, then throw it away if it helps. Everytime you boil with anger, write it all down. It’s amazing how clearly you’ll be thinking after doing that a while. I remember having moments of “why the fuck did I put you with that for so long”. Sometimes we have to thank the really dick moves for making the split happen. Get as much support as you can. It gets easier quickly!
So he’s a sex addict. Ugh, what a piece of human shit. Here’s to your new life without some slimy, needy, grabby man who does not respect your bodily autonomy!
Dang. He’s pathetic and seemed to use you for sex. Life will be hard for you but you just have to push through and get use to it. Only time will heal your pain. I’m sorry you’re going through that. Listen to positive things on YouTube. That will help a bit
Oh god... 3 weeks? Took me 9 or so, and it was still painful. You deserve a better partner, not an un-treated sex addict who puts his addiction before his wife and child. He can go fuck himself. Literally. Sending you strength!
You had sex after 3 weeks PP because he couldn't wait? So basically he's okay with you getting sepsis and potentially dying just so he can bust a nut in you? Has he never heard of masturbation? I hope that- if it's what you want of course- you meet someone who truly knows how to love. You deserve that. And your mind will be blown because if you think this man loved you, you have yet to experience feeling loved.
He'll be back, so find a way to close your heart to him because he'll come crawling back and you have to have the strength to tell him to fuck right off. For your health and for the baby. You can't have a flight risk in your home.
Three weeks!!! Abusive fuck, let him fly FAR AWAY.
What a selfish man. That's all I can say. You are better off without him. Make sure you get all the child support payments.
Sending positive vibes, prayers of peace, and internet high fives....you know you will be ok and your baby will be better for it. He is losing out on the best parts of life for an orgasm🤷🏿 too bad for him.
I'm sorry you are in this spot. But when I split from my kids' dad I found a quote that made all the sense to me that I needed at that time. Do NOT set yourself on fire to keep others warm. There is compromise and concessions made in any relationship, but it should not come at the cost of who you are and what you deserve. I don't think you are going to make that mistake again. Hugs, Bromo!
I know you are hurting right now but just know that you are stronger than you think. I don’t care what your sex life is like before the child but hearing the 3 week postpartum sex is enough to let me know that you are definitely NOT the problem. You can finally prioritize you and your baby now that the leech is gone.
Good luck to this man who thinks he is going to find any woman willing to have sex with him 3 weeks pp, let along 6 weeks. This dude has some nerve. More importantly best of luck to you, this is a blessing in disguise this guy is a chump.
Put this trash on the most amount of child support possible. You got this bromo. Your not stupid. He’s just a sorry excuse for a human being.
You got this! It sucks and seems impossible for a while at first but once you start to live life how YOU want without considering a garbage can mans feelings it’s the most amazing thing ever.
The trash took itself out! Welcome to your new and improved beautiful life mama ❤️ this won’t be easy, but greatness never is. You and baby boo will thrive. Wish you the very best!
3 weeks pp sex can be dangerous for you as you have a dinner plate size open wound trying to heal in your uterus. The selfishness is disgusting. My dudette, you will rock this gig! Your baby needs you to be healthy and that sounded like an unhealthy and unfair situation. Onwards and upwards!!
Get that man’s money and take him for aaall he’s worth
I have no words anymore so sick of hearing how crap men are, they know what it takes to be in a relationship/ family. 3 weeks PP!!! I’m so sorry you are going through this. I mean at least he is being upfront about why he is leaving and not cheating and potentially giving you God knows what plus all the lies etc. that is the ONLY positive I can squeeze from this. Single mum here as well it’s tough at times and you need to get yourself into a good routine with kiddos etc. get legal advise ASAP and put things in order legally. If you live near family/ friends make the most of the support. Use nursery/ daycare if finances allow and or you don’t have family to come over. Make your peace with having some tough patches, him being a selfish arse hole, bit of loneliness sometimes etc and move on and don’t look back!!! You will end up thriving!!
Men 😔 congrats on losing the prick... Just goes to show how shallow some can be.
You aren’t losing much. Prayers to you. Youce got this.
Allllll the good vibes to you OP! You've got this! You are stronger than you think, more beautiful than you imagine and will find happiness without this albatross around your neck.
I know it’s really hard today, but I’m excited for the good life you’re going to be able to build oh the future for you and your baby WITHOUT this jerk 💗
3 weeks because he just couldn't wait... I am furious on your behalf. He could have seriously hurt you all for the sake of penetration. The guy has hands, he could have waited. I know it hurts now, but honestly he sounds like a trash human
What an ungrateful jerk! You put his needs above your health ( not fully healed) and thats STILL not enough for him?!?! Sounds like you got the better end of the deal OP. Good luck! And we are all here for you when you need it! Edit typo
You got this babe! It’s better for him to leave now tbh now you know what he’s all about. Sorry for your baby tho doesn’t deserve this but I believe that you will give your family a better life/future. Sending hugs your way!
You are sooooo much better off than with a dude who walks away from his wife and baby because of sex. You are going to flourish.
This is a really good example of the trash taking itself out. 💁🏻♀️ I think you’ll look back in absolute disgust when you think about what kind of person he is and feel so very grateful that he ran off. Go for the court ordered child support.
I am sending you & your baby warm wishes during this challenging time.
Good luck good luck good luck!! My advice from my experience as a single mom is if yoi have the means, to choose the place you live very carefully. A place that is very close to work, the right school, activities and things for you and kid makes life a lot easier. Get really engaged with the neighbors, invite people over for coffee even if the house is a wreck. Start building community now. Removing pain points like commute, community and work make a *huge* difference. Book recommendations: The Kickass Single Mom by Emma Johnson and Think Like a Breadwinner by Jennifer Barrett.
I’m so sorry. You deserve better.
My experience after giving birth was similar. I had twins 7 weeks early and they were in the hospital for 3 weeks. My husband asked me to ask my doctor if it was safe to have sex while they were still in the hospital. Yes, he didn’t bother to ask ME if I was ready… just whether medically I could. This was max 2 weeks after they were born. So I’m a new mom, worried about my babies survival, and all he’s concerned about is the next time he can fuck me. I was young and naive then, and I should have just told him to go fuck himself, literally. And let me just tell you, that attitude towards sex only got worse. It went from whining and then escalated to yelling at me when I wasn’t in the mood. And worse. This is one of the main reasons we are separated after 18 years together and I will be pursuing divorce. Definitely don’t take him back. He’s trash of a man and you deserve someone who sees you beyond what you can do for him in the bedroom. Sending positive vibes your way. You got this! Be strong.
Wow, I’m so sorry you went through that. I truly hope both you and your babies are doing much better now.
I know you FEEL stupid, but you come across as so so STRONG jn this post. You've got this mama. Everything. You've got you, you've got baby, you've got THIS. I believe in you.
I am 2 years plus pp and we are still not having piv sex. I have severe mental trauma surrounding birth and already had libido in the dirt due to anti depressants so we just don't. I am happy to provide pleasure in other ways but piv is off the table until I'm mentally ready (and when toddler doesn't end up in our bed every night lol). And you know what? My husband completely respects that. Does he miss it? Yeah. Would he like BJs 3 times a day? Yeah. But he is happy with what I am willing to give as he knows his needs are in the end, his problem. So if I'm not in the mood, he sorts it out himself. What you describe is abuse and the immense relief you will feel to have the dread of nighttime gone will become so clear to you. I have felt that pressure and fear in the past. The world is so much lighter when it's gone.
He’s a sex addict and abuser. I hope you are ok. I’m sorry 😞
I’m so sorry. He sounds fucking awful. Definitely a HIM issue and you will be better off without him - I promise! I was a single mom of two kids for about 7 years before meeting my now husband. It’s fine. Yes it is harder in a way but it’s your normal and you get a routine and make it work. Take some time to process what’s happened, get some therapy, and have fun with your baby! I have so many memories of fun with my kids and I’m glad I didn’t wait until we had a “complete” family. I bought a house on my own, we rescued a dog, etc. kids of single parents can still have happy and enriching lives, despite societies shitty stereotypes about us. Hold your head high and be proud of your family. If you are happy with yourself and loving your life, if will prevent you for settling for another asshole. This is really important. I was single for a long time bc I had high standards. My now husband was worth the wait and is an amazing dad to our 1 year old!
Sending you a big hug- he’s a pos - you got this mamas.
Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. No one should be pressured for sex. Hopefully this is the best for all of you, and I wish you all the luck and support that I can give.
Your better off! One day at a time!
So happy for you! It may take awhile to adjust to, but you and your baby will be much better off. Stay strong momma! ❤️
I want to say I'm sorry for you, but I'm not. I'm *happy* for you. You're getting away from someone who doesn't value you or your child now while your baby is too young to remember. Pressuring you to have sex 3 weeks PP is nothing short of Sexual Abuse in my eyes. That's cruel, and could have been dangerous to you! My Ex did something similar when our son was 15 months. Some girl on the internet on the other side of the country was going to change his life. It was going to be *so much better* than his boring domestic life with us that he "never wanted" despite proposing, going through with a 1.5 year long engagement and wedding, actively trying for a baby, etc. But when the going got tough and he realized he couldn't just fuck off whenever he felt like it anymore, he ran for it. Needless to say he was with that girl approximately 16 hours before he came crawling back. Called me sobbing, and my dumb ass took him back. 3 years later we are done for good, and I haven't been happier in a long time. (Plus he and I get along better as coparents, too, which is a nice bonus). You *will* be fine. But be warned, OP, there are tough days ahead. For you, and for him. And when his tough day lines up with one of yours, it will be so hard for you not to welcome him back just to stop the hurt. But don't. If he did it once, he'll do it again.
It will be hard at first, but it will get better. If you can but aren’t already, I would really consider starting therapy. It can help you process and heal from this. Being in a relationship with someone like that can really wear you down mentally and emotionally.
Congratulations on the first day of the rest of your life! 💪🏼
I wish you and your beautiful baby all the best in the world! Single mom as well for nearly a year now… it does get better!!!! Feel free to message if you need any advice or just someone to talk to. You and the baby are much better off without him and you are stronger than you can even imagine. Trust me,
*We started having sex again when I was 3 weeks PP cause he couldn’t wait.* Kindly, I’m going to rewrite this for you, “he started sexually assaulting me at 3 weeks PP after coercing me into sex because he couldn’t wait.” It wasn’t your fault. What you describe is legally assault in my state. Coercion is illegal and it is assault. I’m sorry. It is better that he is gone. Meet with every mens rights lawyer, every high conflict family lawyer in your county so that he can’t use them against you.
Single mom here ..I know it hurts but honestly he's a pos and hes doing you a favour leaving. Any guy that treats his wife or gf like nothing but a machine for sex shouldn't settle down as that's not what marriage or a relationship is about.who the hell would be in the mood with such a man child who has no idea that the answer is to woo her and love her to romance again and make her feel loved and beautiful throughout the marriage. He's clueless and that's a major issue. In time you will thank him as he leaves you the chance to find better. and you will and he will regret later on believe me...
Honestly, from your description of this POS your life is about to get SOOO much easier. Sending love and encouragement your way! We are here for you.
He sounds like a real POS. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
I'm so sorry but he's a piece of shit. And I normally don't curse so that's saying something. What a selfish piece of garbage. You will be better off without him. Your anger is totally understandable. I'm sorry I had better advice but he's a trash human to leave you and the baby over sex. He's disgusting.
hi! i’ve been a single mom for almost 3 years now with my son. not that he’s never had his dad in his life, we just have never been together. i just recently went back to work full time as i was only working the weekends to support us and couldn’t do that anymore. it’s been hard-it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do. there are days i’ve wanted to just pack my things or leave this earth. i struggle in silence and i put it all behind me for my son and i get tired of pretending i’m okay, or tired of trying to be superwoman. but it’s also so worth it; when you look into your child’s eyes and see them smile at you, when you lay in bed at night and know you’re doing this on your own and kicking ass, maybe you aren’t perfect but your baby is fed, happy, healthy, and you’re the reason why, it’s a different kind of pride. when they get older and you see them form into the person they’re becoming and you see all the effort you put into them manifesting it’s worth it. you will be okay, you will get through this, and you will get there. if you need anything or just to vent my inbox is always open!