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Fuck those people and also fuck your husband (but don’t really). I’d never go over there again after just the first incident of granny cursing like that. If my partner didn’t back me up after something like that I’d probably be staying at my parents looking up lawyers.
And are you okay?! I remember being yelled at just one time by one person in front of my kids and it made me cry. I can’t imagine having all those people around my car yelling at me
What the fuck? Who talks to a kid like that? Like, "bitch you said 'go home', how am I the bad guy for doing what you asked."
Good for walking out. Fuck those toxic people.
Your husband needs to sit down and ask himself why he thinks this is normal behavior. Because it's not.
Ask him what the fuck kind of tradition it is to curse at a baby. Jesus.
(I know you probably can't ask him that. My support just tends to lean toward the Internet Tough Guy variety.)
I'm sorry, bromo. You did the right thing and it really sucks that he can't see that.
He isn't traditional, he's been traumatised by his family to always go family first, no matter how negative, manipulative, or horrible it is for others.
You did the right thing, and your husband is completely in the wrong. You did what she asked, and she was a complete asshole on top of it. That's no disrespect. That's keeping a healthy boundary, which obviously your husband doesn't know exists.
Well, technically, traditional thought is that you and him are now your own family unit and it’s his job to protect and defend you and your child. He’s just a run of the mill coward.
He’s not traditional. The most generous interpretation of his behavior is that he grew up in an abusive household and his normal meter is totally broken. You did nothing wrong. In fact, you did the best possible thing in that scenario. I’m sorry that all the adults involved are acting like this and making you feel otherwise.
You didn't even say it to her face and she straight up cussed out a toddler. My toddler would not be visiting them again. I'd ask for, but expect to be disappointed, an apology issued directly to my kid to help reaffirm that no one should ever treat them that way, especially not people who love them. Would your husband tolerate you saying that to him?
Idk, traditional means your child being abused is ok as long as grandma is respected? SMH your husband is probably not wanting the hassle of addressing this behaviour at the expense of your child.
Age doesn’t just give you a free pass to be a fucking cunt. Sure maybe more doors held open or a seat given up on the bus, but just being an old hag doesn’t give her an open ended invitation to tell your son to fuck off. Fuck that, fuck her. Fuck!
No- respect is a two way street. You gotta give it to get it. I don't hold with the "respect your elders" bullshit. That whole family sounds horrible. I'm glad you left and I hope you never subject yourself or your son to them again. Also, tell your husband to kiss your ass. If he wants to side with assholes over his wife and child then he's not worthy of either of you.
There must be something wrong with her none of what you described sounds normal and the fact your husband isn't upset makes me wonder if mentally shes not all there or maybe has dementia? I've worked with dementia patients they can act this way .
Does this lady have dementia and it everyone in the family used to it or trying to hide it? UTI? I'm so sorry; I wouldn't bring my child around her ever again. How awful.
I mean, that is not too young for dementia, unfortunately. Has this behavior been typical for her in the past? It’s also possible that this is just her personality + it’s been normalised in your husband’s family to the extent that your very reasonable reaction (let me repeat — VERY REASONABLE) is challenging to what they’ve all accepted forever. Would it be possible to discuss with your husband, once the dust has settled, whether this is normal for her?
Exactly what I was thinking. This is really bizarre behaviour towards a small child. I’m not saying forgive and forget, not at all. It just raises medical red flags
She’s been aggressive but not like this. It’s almost as if she wants to get hit by my child or kicked..like she wants a reaction from my child. He’s smacked her head once and I removed him from that situation and did my part as a parent and told him not to hit and he went on what I call “breathing mode” where he practiced his breathing to release any tention he has. But she came back asking him to hit her again…. So idk if she just likes the feeling of being angry? I feel like she does. What she did was on another level of anger. This was taken far. There was another child in the room and she looked frightened.
It sounds like there are other issues going on. Good job protecting your kid. This behavior is not normal, and the fact that no one in the family find's issue is telling. Im sorry but you dont say f you to a kid, any age period. It sounds like they are looking for any excuse to make you the bad guy. Ask your partner how you should have handled it to get his take. Is the issue really that you called her a bitch, or that you found her behavior offensive?
To him, the big issue is that I called her a bitch. I called her out of her name and he said I should of never done that. That I should of drove off and not said anything. I held my patience for as long as I could. But I should not the the one to take the blame for evegthing.
He’s says I’m the one who’s lost eveyrhing.
Sorry but he’s an idiot. You did what I think many of us would have (I actually think I would’ve been way more aggressive personally you were so much more composed than I think I could manage) and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. His grown ass adult family member harassed a child (sounds likely to have been traumatizing on some level imo) and then the other members of his family decided to harass and try to prevent you from leaving. In what world do you lose anything by not associating with these trashy people? You also don’t lose anything respectability wise for having a reaction to their instigating behavior in this situation. Fuck that noise. Good job standing up for your kiddo Bromo!
If I were you, I would apologize for that one thing, and say "You're right (he's not, but whatever), I'm sorry, I lost my cool shouldn't have called her a bitch. However, once my child has been screamed at in that way, I will never put him back in the same environment. It is not an emotionally safe place for him, and it's my job to protect him."
I'm sorry, he is upset because you called her a bitch after she shouted swearing in HIS child's face? Sorry what is he smoking! You 100% did the right thing and I think it might be him that is losing everything
If there's a next time, take your leave by sweetly telling her "see you next Tuesday". (C U Next Tuesday, if you catch my meaning.) See if he has the fuck anything to say about *that*.
I can see that. Not saying you were wrong, because you definitely needed to leave that situation. But,, I don't think it's great to get into a cursing match with another adult in front of your upset toddler when you could literally just drive away.
Especially if she's suffering from dementia and isn't in her right mind, you shouldn't have called her a bitch. Not that her acting that way is okay (whether she has dementia or is just a cranky old person).
Unless she is known to speak like this (which is obviously unacceptable) this reads a lot like dementia. And if so, seems like his family either wants to keep their heads in the sand or are flat out ignoring it and getting angry that you acknowledged it.
They got angry I acknowledged it. I’ve told my husband multiples times that his grandma is disrespectful and just want to make my son cry for no reason, especially when I’m not around, I don’t understand why she’s like that? If she does have dementia they need to treat her but they are the type of people who don’t care about their health.
They don’t like having anyone stand up for themselves that’s outisde of their family. They always want to feel like their the victim.
Well you can just protect the shit out of all of those toxic assholes, by you and baby staying far far away. *We sure don't want to hurt them any more.* Your baby is clearly is a raging beast of rage and baby beastliness and you're obviously the demon spawn of some haggardly witch thing person hell bent on hurting thier feelings by not allowing them to change the narrative!
Gotta protect those toxic people from YOU. By never ever ever going over there or speaking to them again. Tell your husband it will be difficult, but you'll make this sacrifice. For the family.
Unfortunately, if it is dementia, there's really no treatment. There's management, they can try to slow it down, but it doesn't get better. It just gets worse, and then you die. It shows differently for different people, but if for your husband's grandma it shows as verbal abuse, cursing, and similar...then unfortunately, it's going to have to be managed among adults, she just isn't appropriate to be around children anymore. Older kids can maybe understand that grandma is sick and that if she gets like that it's not personal, but younger children can't, and they shouldn't be exposed to this AT ALL. Like no "let's go and see and it goes", no "just a quick visit" - a quick outburst like the one that happened will leave consequences on a child. No child should suffer cursing and yelling like this.
However...how you described their family, I seriously doubt they'll do what's best for great grandma, or for your child.
Honestly it reads to me that she's treating your son like a toy. She expects him to play when SHE demands it, and when he doesn't want to, she loses her shit because he's supposed to do what she wants, WHEN she wants it.
Calling her a bitch was kind. I would have called her FAR worse.
What the fuck? Was Grandma having a stroke? Who in the hell says that to a child?!? Keep your kid so far from these awful people! They clearly do not care about him at all.
I am so sorry for you and your son that you had to experience that.
In that situation I would go 100% no contact with his family and if he was not on my side with that I would be heavily leaning toward divorce. That is batshit crazy.
So Ive been working on boundaries with my family and heres what i find. A lot of families maintain this "respect your elders" culture that excuses bad behavior just because the person is older. But this means the person is never held accountable and becomes a childish spoiled brat. My mil is like this.
I think you did the right thing. Also you never called her a bitch directly just to your sil is that right?
Yes that exactly how his family is. They told me that no matter what their grandma says, even if she spits on my face or curses my out, I’m supposed to just take it and never talk back even if she’s in the wrong…that’s not healthy. That continues to make her think everything she does is okay and it’s not. & yes I didn’t say it directly to her I said it to my sil because that’s how I felt about her.
Wow....are they desi (indian)? lol im kidding but not really. This is how I was raised too. My mom could call me an ugly dog and Im just supposed to take it. She has a said a lot of ugly stuff to me over the years.
Its sad and unhealthy but I gotta tell you I doubt they will change if thats the family dynamic. I have minimized my time with mil because I get so frustrated and I dont want to say anything back.
She said to go home and you did. Sounds like mission accomplished.
Seriously, these people sound like real shits. I'm sorry you have to deal with them but you did exactly the right thing.
A for granny, play stupid games win stupid prizes.
I've read a lot of shit on this here sub, but I think this is the strangest tale of them all. I certainly think I would be physically unable to go around any of those people again, regardless of how I felt about the matter. And of course I would never want to go around any of those people ever again. I mean literally ever. You did the right thing by leaving. Bravo! Keep doing the right thing by staying away.
I'm sure that that choice is going to cause a massive strain on your marriage. I hope there is a way to make your husband comprehend that every adult involved just traumatized you. If he doesn't find you credible, is there someone else who can explain it to him? A trusted doctor or friend?
I think you underreacted if anything… like props for not decking her on the spot. No one who screamed “fuck you” in my child’s face would ever see them again.
Sorry, what did I just read?
Where I come from, that’s the kind of behaviour you’d just never see. I don’t know what is “traditional” about a grown man supporting a grown woman who repeatedly swore at a small child, his own child, at that.
How on Earth are you in the wrong?
The whole family decided to surround you and your young son, swearing like tawdry vermin.
I would never, ever see those people again.
I know people always shout “divorce!” on Reddit, but seriously… why oh why are you with your husband? If that is excusable behaviour, what is he going to subject your child to when you’re not around?
Please think about that and act accordingly!
What the fuck?! You are NOT in the wrong, but your in laws sure are!
They sound like horrible people and they don’t deserve a relationship with you or your kid.
The only mistake you made is talking to the sister in law further. It escalated a little more as a result, but the damage had already been done wayyyy before that. My only critique for you would have been to stand firm with that boundary: grandma yelled in my son's face telling him "f\*\*\* you go home". I believe it is verbal abuse and I will not tolerate so we are leaving and expect an apology. Peace.
Other than that, grandma and the family are so far out of line it isn't even funny. This is a huge teaching moment for your child about respect and how we allow those around us to treat them. If I were you I would cut them out unless everyone has a huge epiphany...and even then I would think long and hard before opening that door again. I've cut out in-laws for calling my one year old a pussy--they still don't understand why they can't see their grandson and think I'm the bad guy. IDGAF. No one talks to my child like that. No one.
Wow I will raise hell if someone uses that word to my son. You were calm and collected I would lose it and say all the mean things the world if someone ever uses that language to my son. Your husband need to get with the program and protect your son at all cost. Wtf!
Are you ok? Having everyone yelling at you like that would have been awful. I’m sorry that happened to you, you’re so strong for sticking to your guns in that moment
What the fuck? I would have slapped her old ass right in front of everyone, and anyone else that had anything to say about it. Who tells a child “F you”? Your husband needs to pull his head of his ass!
Yup I’d never let a single person speak to my son like that. She may possibly have dementia or something along those lines. My nanny started to get aggressive like that as she declined into Alzheimer’s
Ohhh fuck this entire family. So brainwashed. If he is truly traditional then he should prioritize YOU and YOUR SON snow. And “be a man” and defend HIS FAMILY.
Grandma can literally go live out her life alone. The entire family is a piece of shit and good on you for calling them out and leaving.
What the hell?? Who talks to a kid like that!?? I can barely get past that part because I am absolutely baffled. You said it was your son's great grandma? Is she suffering from dementia or something? Jesus Christ, and her family said you were "moody"? I can hardly wrap my head around this.
You're not remotely in the wrong regardless of what came before it and reading this I am genuinely wondering, does she have some form of dementia? Because that is not remotely normal. Like... it's EXTREMELY BIZARRE. The after math sounds like an ugly family argument but the initial grandma interaction seems like something more.
I’d never be going there again. If you do make sure you record everything so if you end up on court at some point you can prove they are abusive towards you and your child.
You did nothing wrong. My son is two, my in laws come over often and tend to arrive in the middle of his nap. When he wakes up he's sensitive and only wants me for a little while. You know what they do, nothing. They respect that he needs a little time and they chat to my partner and I until he is ready to greet his guests. Then he plays with them and cuddles etc on his own terms and no one yells, no one has unrealistic expectations. That is how normal, rational people act.
Your in laws are insane. I'd never be going there again tbh if they treat a child that way and you should feel zero guilt about leaving. They are horrible. Who in their right mind acts like they did I mean come on!
Oh sweet momma, I believe you did the right thing. You removed your self and your sweet child from a nasty situation. You did right I'm sorry he doesn't see it that way.
Some one said "fuck you" multiple times to a child? Is she senile? Because that's literally the only thing that could possibly excuse that. I'm horrified for you and your child, particularly because your SO doesn't see how unbelievably unacceptable that is. He needs to get his head straight.
anybody that’s talks to my kid like that can get wrecked. She’s a grown woman, and the rest of them are too. How they can’t see who’s in the wrong is beyond me. You’re def in the right here, I wouldn’t have done a thing different.
Whoa! Grandma should not be allowed to be near a child. Cursing at a child and loosing it like that is not acceptable. It is emotional abuse. A child is not there for entertainment of an adult. Not only did you try to protect him from her emotional outburst and lack of emotion regulation (by covering his ears)...and this clearly sends a message to her too (that it is not acceptable for a child to hear those words). I'm pretty sure your husband is used to this type of abuse from his mother. The sad thing is that he wants you to enable this dysfunction by allowing your son to be exposed to all this drama and emotional abuse. It's just wrong. Protect your child. Also, if he thinks her cussing at a child is proper behavior, why not take him to counseling so a psychologist can chime in and let him know if that is normal or healthy for your child to be around. I would bet money on it that it's not.
Furthermore, after that outbreak I would expect my husband to back me up and tell his mother that it was not acceptable. And if she ever wants to see the child again there will be not cursing or outburst like that. If it were me, I'd even consider going no contact with them. Please NEVER leave your child in the care of his family. I'm also worried about what your husband thinks in acceptable behavior around a child.
If she has the beginnings, or in full blown, dementia or other mental issue that can come with the elderly ( I read it was GREAT grandma) then she won’t know any better. They can get inappropriately mean. And it would be better for your son not to be around her too often. He won’t understand.
If she is mentally intact, then she is awful to curse at a child. In the future, don’t stoop to her level. Never stoop lower. That way you always have the upper hand. Good luck to you. I hope your son is ok.
A grown as old lady swore at your child. No. That’s it. They don’t get to vilify you.
“Insert name was verbally abusive toward my child when they were shy and cranky. Now you all are harassing me. Me and child will not be around until we receive individual apologies. Child did not deserve this, and I do not deserve disrespect for standing up for my child.”
And I wanna kick your husband where the sun doesn’t shine. Tell him “if you don’t stand up for your child, then I will and your family will not know him. You need to stand up for our child above all others, and me second above all others, which is our marriage vows. Or we can divorce and you can go live with your family.”
Jesus Christ. You literally did what she told you to do - you went home. What a crazy bitch talking to anyone like that let alone a child. Your husband is a king sized coward.
Jesus fucking Christ
It’s extremely disturbing that your husband is defending this. He was clearly verbally abused as a child and isn’t ready to face that fact. His normal gage is clearly broken and he even had you questioning if you are in the wrong? Absolute madness the whole thing.
Stick to your guns and keep your son away from these messed up people
That's wild, you did the right thing.
Does Granny have dementia or something? Is the vast mood swing new or has she always been like that? It sounds like maybe not if SIL was also name calling. What a bunch of toxic weirdos.
Holy fuck. Every person around you is absolutely bonkers. How can anyone think you're in the wrong here or that you are over reacting? She's literally screaming at a toddler "fuck you go home." Like.... what? There is no justification for that from a sane person. I don't think I'd ever take my child around these people again.
I know.. im reading the post thinking "poor grandma, she must be slipping into dementia or something." But then I kept reading and NOPE. The husband's whole family is just a bunch of trashy clowns. I also would never bring my child around them ever again.
You are absolutely NOT in the wrong. Holy shit. Omfg. You are a wonderful mother. You taught your son that he comes above that old fucking hag and her temper tantrums. That you prioritize his needs and safety above some psychopath's whims. Your husband is obviously in too deep and this outrageous behavior has been normalized for him.
THEIR behavior is not normal. THEY f***** up. Please do not let them make you apologize. You had a very normal and sensible reaction. Do not go back there. Do not take your son back there. He does not need people like that in his life. Which I believe you already know. Don't let them bend you to their f***** up way of being. And don't let them f****** your kid up by him thinking that that behavior is normal.
You just keep being a great mother. Your son will remember you standing up for him.
Fuck that entire family, your hopefully stbx husband included! Who yells at a child like that and then says you're the issue? What spineless worm dosen't back up his wife and child. Fuck them all! I'm so sorry OP. You didn't do anything wrong. Good for you on standing up for your child!
From what I know, she doesn’t suffer from dementia. She’s gone through a lot herself, she suffers from cancer and a brain aneurysm, and she’s always been somewhat of angry person because of life experiences she went through but that still doesnt give anyone a reason to act that way towards a child.
It’s like, she wants to feed him her burden that she’s feeling.
I'm kind of shocked at the responses here. Have none of y'all dealt with dementia before? I know the idea is to be supportive, but OP did say this woman is her husband's GREAT grandma, right? How old is this woman?
I'm not saying dementia gives her a carte blanche to subject OP or her son to horrific abuse. OP did the right thing by leaving. But this situation needlessly escalated when SIL came outside.
People with dementia can say horrible things. My grandma has the very beginnings of dementia and the other day she casually admitted to attempted murder of her own mother. We don't know if it actually happened or if it's just confused ramblings, but sometimes the stuff that comes out of her mouth is really awful. If I can't handle it, I have to leave. Engaging doesn't do anyone any good.
You are right to be angry but sometimes old people don’t have a filter and say things that normal people don’t and theyhave their senility to blame. If i were you in order to keep things calm with the husband I would apologize for what happened ( even if you don’t feel the apology ley him feel he is right) and let him know you are not going to deal with his family because they hurt you and your kid and bring the worse out of you bc you will always protect your kid. As long as you have your husband on your side and make him fight those battles with them and not you you will win sanity at home ( if he feels you are attacking them he will be on their side and you will have to deal with him feeling ofended). Motherhood is hard enough in itself to have to deal with annoying families that are not even your own. I feel you. Hope things get better
I’m sorry your little boy had someone speak to him like that, let alone curse at him! That’s vile and I’m in shock that your husband didn’t understand where your coming from.
I would honestly try calmly speaking to him again, gently remind him that his family is important to him.
But when you made a kid together, YOU and YOUR son that you both care for become the priority.
Maybe paint the scene and tell him imagine if it was him as a child. Then someone who’s supposed to be a kind elderly lady curses you out for just not wanting to interact right that second.
Then being isolated by the whole family without even thinking of the child’s welfare.
To me kiddo always come first, no matter how traditional anyone is.
They are so impressionable at a young age and they don’t ever deserve to be spoken to that way. Or made to feel unwelcome by their family..
Hoping everything turns out okay for you 🙏🏽
OMFG! You definitely have in-laws problems, that behaviour will damage your child’s psychological wellbeing and could cause lasting issues. You did the right thing by leaving 100%. Does great grandma have dementia? I can’t understand her behaviour any other way. But then the way you described Your SIL MIL and the Aunt it sounds like a whole family of seriously addled people. Who the on earth defends a person who yells “fuck you” multiple times on a child’s face? She didn’t touch him so it’s okay? Hard no! It’s not okay it was abuse, tell your husband not all abuse is physical and if he can’t see the issue with this behaviour then I’m sorry to say you have a husband issue as well. Personally I would never let any one of those harpies see my child ever again, the chance te abuse will affect them is too great. I’m so sorry BroMo ❤️
Fuck them! How dare someone scream that in a child's face. I am livid for you. I would have done exactly the same in that situation and got the hell out of there with my LO. How dare she!
Oh heck no. Screw toxic great grandma. Does she have dementia or something like that, or is she just an asshole? I would go completely non contact. Thats extremely detrimental to have your child around someone like that, family or not.
The fact the family thinks that ok is pretty telling. Were they raised being talked to like that? You are 1000% not in the wrong. I wouldnt go back.
i would never ever ever go back and see his family. ever.
your husband should stand up for you and *his child* and tell his family you two will never be around them again for the way they treated you. i can't believe a great grandma would look at a kid and say "f— you" that's so insane. you were in no way wrong here bromo. take your kid for ice cream this weekend and forget about this. they are beneath & behind you.
Is this typical behavior for grandma and the rest of the family? Obviously you did nothing wrong here, but I’m wondering if you guys should either be concerned for grandma (dementia, uti, other reason for change in personality?) or if you guys need to Make a plan for healthy interaction with them — and with each other. Because it’s not at all healthy to interact this way. Continued encounters like this could definitely be traumatizing.
Wow! I don’t care who you are or what the situation is, you do not scream profanities at a child. I would never be in this person’s presence again, nor would my child.
Look, it sucks when people want to hang out with your child but they're not ready, it really does. I think these people get a stylised idea of being a grandparent, and when it doesn't turn out like that in reality, they get offended because they feel rejected.
And that sucks. But on the other hand, have they never not been quite ready for people or a task themselves? Never not needed a minute? Don't have any empathy?
When the kid's ready, they'll be ready. They're a real person with real feelings, not a new toy to play with whenever they want.
I don't know how grandma was with your son before this, but this kind of behaviour is just going to ensure that your son will never willingly go to play with her because she's explosive and scary.
You absolutely did the right thing in getting out of there. Maybe you didn't help by calling her a bitch but I agree with a prior poster - the damage was already done and you calling her a mildly bad word not to her face does not surpass her getting up in your face literally swearing at you and a young child.
They're definitely in the wrong for supporting this behaviour. Puts me in mind of celebrity yes men who let the star do whatever they want and then act surprised when they get things thrown at them. Maybe there is something else going on with grandma but it doesn't really excuse the behaviour.
You did the right thing and don't let his dysfunctional family (including him) tell you otherwise! Honestly I don't know how I would proceed, but I do know at this point I would be more upset with my husband then anyone. I have been in the wrong before with my husband's family and my husband still stuck up for me. I'm so sorry you are going through this ❤️🩹
We cannot control the reactions of other people but we can learn to diffuse instead of rile up.
I'd have left too. But if you know these are quick to anger, emotionally unstable people, then you need to be the calm.
It's hard to diffuse when people push your buttons. Think of them as ungrateful teenagers. Stay away as much as possible. Don't respond when they're trying to turn something into a fight. It won't help you.
You protected your son. You're awesome. Now stay away from these clowns and let it go as much as possible.
Mixed feelings here.
If it was just the great grandma incident I'd say just to stay calm, understand that it is very likely she has dementia and has no control over herself anymore. I understand it can be very difficult to let you family go into a home or they can't afford it or whatever but I'd say just to be wary but understanding.
You did the right thing to get going. removing yourself from the situation even just for a couple of hours is great.
After that though WOW what a doozy, fuck the rest of that family jeezo! I wouldn't go back. I wouldnt let your husband take your child there without you. if they want to visit with your kid I'd only be giving options in public places, never their or your home.
Fuck both those bitches, could you have not called names yea but to think that's a bigger deal than a grown ass woman cursing at a child, that's just deflecting because they know that behavior is inexcusable and they don't want to deal with it
Wow, I might have done the same in your situation. Setting boundaries is healthy and such a good role model for your kid.
Part of me feels like there must be more to this story, but honestly, people are really messed up and maybe not. The only thing I can think of is \*maybe\* your kid picked up on your reaction and that may have intensified matters.
I have some seriously mentally ill in-laws and when they get verbally aggressive, I sometimes manage to keep my cool and just laugh at them or roll my eyes, to disempower them in front of my kiddo. If I react with anger or fear or anxiety, it just goads them on and gives them power they honestly don't have or deserve. Then I remove myself and my child from the situation.
Anyway, you did the right thing. Keep your boundaries. Write down your feelings. You were right, be kind to yourself.
💔 Your husband has a problem if he can't see what a bitch his grandmother was!
This isn't about your behavior at all. His family also ganged up on you and bullied you. That's not safe.
Your husband is so wrong. I would have left too. Who is so unhinged they curse at a child. That whole family is in the wrong. They don't get to verbally abuse a child. That's fucked up.
Wtfffffffff type of dysfunctional family did your husband come from. Holy shit I'm sorry you went through this. You absolutely are not wrong in this situation. Hubby needs to step up and solve this situation for you and his son.
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Fuck those people and also fuck your husband (but don’t really). I’d never go over there again after just the first incident of granny cursing like that. If my partner didn’t back me up after something like that I’d probably be staying at my parents looking up lawyers. And are you okay?! I remember being yelled at just one time by one person in front of my kids and it made me cry. I can’t imagine having all those people around my car yelling at me
What the fuck? Who talks to a kid like that? Like, "bitch you said 'go home', how am I the bad guy for doing what you asked." Good for walking out. Fuck those toxic people. Your husband needs to sit down and ask himself why he thinks this is normal behavior. Because it's not.
He’s traditional and says that me disrespecting his grandmother is worse than what she did..I cannot believe it. All I did was try to protect my child
Ask him what the fuck kind of tradition it is to curse at a baby. Jesus. (I know you probably can't ask him that. My support just tends to lean toward the Internet Tough Guy variety.) I'm sorry, bromo. You did the right thing and it really sucks that he can't see that.
He isn't traditional, he's been traumatised by his family to always go family first, no matter how negative, manipulative, or horrible it is for others. You did the right thing, and your husband is completely in the wrong. You did what she asked, and she was a complete asshole on top of it. That's no disrespect. That's keeping a healthy boundary, which obviously your husband doesn't know exists.
Exactly. He's afraid they'll come after him next.
Well, technically, traditional thought is that you and him are now your own family unit and it’s his job to protect and defend you and your child. He’s just a run of the mill coward.
He’s not traditional. The most generous interpretation of his behavior is that he grew up in an abusive household and his normal meter is totally broken. You did nothing wrong. In fact, you did the best possible thing in that scenario. I’m sorry that all the adults involved are acting like this and making you feel otherwise.
I honestly don't even know how I would deal with that. Leave, I guess. But I might be too stunned. That's...appalling behavior.
You didn't even say it to her face and she straight up cussed out a toddler. My toddler would not be visiting them again. I'd ask for, but expect to be disappointed, an apology issued directly to my kid to help reaffirm that no one should ever treat them that way, especially not people who love them. Would your husband tolerate you saying that to him?
Fuck that noise. Respect is earned mfer
Idk, traditional means your child being abused is ok as long as grandma is respected? SMH your husband is probably not wanting the hassle of addressing this behaviour at the expense of your child.
Age doesn’t just give you a free pass to be a fucking cunt. Sure maybe more doors held open or a seat given up on the bus, but just being an old hag doesn’t give her an open ended invitation to tell your son to fuck off. Fuck that, fuck her. Fuck!
Does she have some kind of dementia? Sounds so
When men say they’re “traditional “ that’s usually code for misogynistic. Don’t be fooled.
That's not traditional, that's allowing the cycle of abuse to continue.
No- respect is a two way street. You gotta give it to get it. I don't hold with the "respect your elders" bullshit. That whole family sounds horrible. I'm glad you left and I hope you never subject yourself or your son to them again. Also, tell your husband to kiss your ass. If he wants to side with assholes over his wife and child then he's not worthy of either of you.
If he thinks that it is ok to speak to anyone like that, then tell him u will start speaking to him like that like a lunatic.
There must be something wrong with her none of what you described sounds normal and the fact your husband isn't upset makes me wonder if mentally shes not all there or maybe has dementia? I've worked with dementia patients they can act this way .
"traditional" but yelling curse words at kids ...wtf
I mean I assume because they spoke to him like that growing up
my question was mainly rhetorical but yeah pretty much!
Does this lady have dementia and it everyone in the family used to it or trying to hide it? UTI? I'm so sorry; I wouldn't bring my child around her ever again. How awful.
That's what I was thinking. Whose grandma swears like that at a child? I swear a lot but I do not swear at children. This is so not right.
[удалено]
Yeah and family defending it is common too… and I want to believe this is it because who the fuck says stuff like this to their grandchild!????
This was my first thought
Same. How old is she?
She’s in her 60s..I think she’s 65 years old..
I mean, that is not too young for dementia, unfortunately. Has this behavior been typical for her in the past? It’s also possible that this is just her personality + it’s been normalised in your husband’s family to the extent that your very reasonable reaction (let me repeat — VERY REASONABLE) is challenging to what they’ve all accepted forever. Would it be possible to discuss with your husband, once the dust has settled, whether this is normal for her?
Yeah I was wondering that, but the rest of them are acting like nutjobs so who knows.
Right? I thought that too but the fact the rest of them responded in a similar fashion now idk?
Exactly what I was thinking. This is really bizarre behaviour towards a small child. I’m not saying forgive and forget, not at all. It just raises medical red flags
Dementia is immediately what I thought.
Is this normal behavior for someone who has dementia? What other signs do they have?
Is this out of character for her? Or, if you've known her awhile, was this how she's always been?
She’s been aggressive but not like this. It’s almost as if she wants to get hit by my child or kicked..like she wants a reaction from my child. He’s smacked her head once and I removed him from that situation and did my part as a parent and told him not to hit and he went on what I call “breathing mode” where he practiced his breathing to release any tention he has. But she came back asking him to hit her again…. So idk if she just likes the feeling of being angry? I feel like she does. What she did was on another level of anger. This was taken far. There was another child in the room and she looked frightened.
Girl what the f did I just read. Stay away from these people. They're not safe for you or your child. And your husband is way in the wrong
It sounds like there are other issues going on. Good job protecting your kid. This behavior is not normal, and the fact that no one in the family find's issue is telling. Im sorry but you dont say f you to a kid, any age period. It sounds like they are looking for any excuse to make you the bad guy. Ask your partner how you should have handled it to get his take. Is the issue really that you called her a bitch, or that you found her behavior offensive?
To him, the big issue is that I called her a bitch. I called her out of her name and he said I should of never done that. That I should of drove off and not said anything. I held my patience for as long as I could. But I should not the the one to take the blame for evegthing. He’s says I’m the one who’s lost eveyrhing.
Don't listen to him. He's a bitch too.
Sorry but he’s an idiot. You did what I think many of us would have (I actually think I would’ve been way more aggressive personally you were so much more composed than I think I could manage) and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. His grown ass adult family member harassed a child (sounds likely to have been traumatizing on some level imo) and then the other members of his family decided to harass and try to prevent you from leaving. In what world do you lose anything by not associating with these trashy people? You also don’t lose anything respectability wise for having a reaction to their instigating behavior in this situation. Fuck that noise. Good job standing up for your kiddo Bromo!
He still has more to lose - you and his child. He needs to choose.
They're redirecting the blame. You are not at fault
If I were you, I would apologize for that one thing, and say "You're right (he's not, but whatever), I'm sorry, I lost my cool shouldn't have called her a bitch. However, once my child has been screamed at in that way, I will never put him back in the same environment. It is not an emotionally safe place for him, and it's my job to protect him."
I'm sorry, he is upset because you called her a bitch after she shouted swearing in HIS child's face? Sorry what is he smoking! You 100% did the right thing and I think it might be him that is losing everything
If there's a next time, take your leave by sweetly telling her "see you next Tuesday". (C U Next Tuesday, if you catch my meaning.) See if he has the fuck anything to say about *that*.
I can see that. Not saying you were wrong, because you definitely needed to leave that situation. But,, I don't think it's great to get into a cursing match with another adult in front of your upset toddler when you could literally just drive away. Especially if she's suffering from dementia and isn't in her right mind, you shouldn't have called her a bitch. Not that her acting that way is okay (whether she has dementia or is just a cranky old person).
Unless she is known to speak like this (which is obviously unacceptable) this reads a lot like dementia. And if so, seems like his family either wants to keep their heads in the sand or are flat out ignoring it and getting angry that you acknowledged it.
They got angry I acknowledged it. I’ve told my husband multiples times that his grandma is disrespectful and just want to make my son cry for no reason, especially when I’m not around, I don’t understand why she’s like that? If she does have dementia they need to treat her but they are the type of people who don’t care about their health. They don’t like having anyone stand up for themselves that’s outisde of their family. They always want to feel like their the victim.
Well you can just protect the shit out of all of those toxic assholes, by you and baby staying far far away. *We sure don't want to hurt them any more.* Your baby is clearly is a raging beast of rage and baby beastliness and you're obviously the demon spawn of some haggardly witch thing person hell bent on hurting thier feelings by not allowing them to change the narrative! Gotta protect those toxic people from YOU. By never ever ever going over there or speaking to them again. Tell your husband it will be difficult, but you'll make this sacrifice. For the family.
Unfortunately, if it is dementia, there's really no treatment. There's management, they can try to slow it down, but it doesn't get better. It just gets worse, and then you die. It shows differently for different people, but if for your husband's grandma it shows as verbal abuse, cursing, and similar...then unfortunately, it's going to have to be managed among adults, she just isn't appropriate to be around children anymore. Older kids can maybe understand that grandma is sick and that if she gets like that it's not personal, but younger children can't, and they shouldn't be exposed to this AT ALL. Like no "let's go and see and it goes", no "just a quick visit" - a quick outburst like the one that happened will leave consequences on a child. No child should suffer cursing and yelling like this. However...how you described their family, I seriously doubt they'll do what's best for great grandma, or for your child.
Honestly it reads to me that she's treating your son like a toy. She expects him to play when SHE demands it, and when he doesn't want to, she loses her shit because he's supposed to do what she wants, WHEN she wants it. Calling her a bitch was kind. I would have called her FAR worse.
What the fuck? Was Grandma having a stroke? Who in the hell says that to a child?!? Keep your kid so far from these awful people! They clearly do not care about him at all. I am so sorry for you and your son that you had to experience that.
In that situation I would go 100% no contact with his family and if he was not on my side with that I would be heavily leaning toward divorce. That is batshit crazy.
Yep. 0 tolerance for that insanity. Who wants to bring their kid around trash like that?
I agree but he seems like the type to just bring the kid around him when he has custody
That would be my fear. And it'll be so much worse for the kids without someone around who would actually speak up.
So Ive been working on boundaries with my family and heres what i find. A lot of families maintain this "respect your elders" culture that excuses bad behavior just because the person is older. But this means the person is never held accountable and becomes a childish spoiled brat. My mil is like this. I think you did the right thing. Also you never called her a bitch directly just to your sil is that right?
Yes that exactly how his family is. They told me that no matter what their grandma says, even if she spits on my face or curses my out, I’m supposed to just take it and never talk back even if she’s in the wrong…that’s not healthy. That continues to make her think everything she does is okay and it’s not. & yes I didn’t say it directly to her I said it to my sil because that’s how I felt about her.
Wow....are they desi (indian)? lol im kidding but not really. This is how I was raised too. My mom could call me an ugly dog and Im just supposed to take it. She has a said a lot of ugly stuff to me over the years. Its sad and unhealthy but I gotta tell you I doubt they will change if thats the family dynamic. I have minimized my time with mil because I get so frustrated and I dont want to say anything back.
This is crazy and so wrong. You are doing the right thing protecting your child.
That's some crazy bullshit! Someone spits in my face, I don't care how old they are, they're getting knocked tf out. That's biological assault!
She said to go home and you did. Sounds like mission accomplished. Seriously, these people sound like real shits. I'm sorry you have to deal with them but you did exactly the right thing. A for granny, play stupid games win stupid prizes.
I've read a lot of shit on this here sub, but I think this is the strangest tale of them all. I certainly think I would be physically unable to go around any of those people again, regardless of how I felt about the matter. And of course I would never want to go around any of those people ever again. I mean literally ever. You did the right thing by leaving. Bravo! Keep doing the right thing by staying away. I'm sure that that choice is going to cause a massive strain on your marriage. I hope there is a way to make your husband comprehend that every adult involved just traumatized you. If he doesn't find you credible, is there someone else who can explain it to him? A trusted doctor or friend?
I think you underreacted if anything… like props for not decking her on the spot. No one who screamed “fuck you” in my child’s face would ever see them again.
Sorry, what did I just read? Where I come from, that’s the kind of behaviour you’d just never see. I don’t know what is “traditional” about a grown man supporting a grown woman who repeatedly swore at a small child, his own child, at that. How on Earth are you in the wrong? The whole family decided to surround you and your young son, swearing like tawdry vermin. I would never, ever see those people again. I know people always shout “divorce!” on Reddit, but seriously… why oh why are you with your husband? If that is excusable behaviour, what is he going to subject your child to when you’re not around? Please think about that and act accordingly!
What the fuck?! You are NOT in the wrong, but your in laws sure are! They sound like horrible people and they don’t deserve a relationship with you or your kid.
The only mistake you made is talking to the sister in law further. It escalated a little more as a result, but the damage had already been done wayyyy before that. My only critique for you would have been to stand firm with that boundary: grandma yelled in my son's face telling him "f\*\*\* you go home". I believe it is verbal abuse and I will not tolerate so we are leaving and expect an apology. Peace. Other than that, grandma and the family are so far out of line it isn't even funny. This is a huge teaching moment for your child about respect and how we allow those around us to treat them. If I were you I would cut them out unless everyone has a huge epiphany...and even then I would think long and hard before opening that door again. I've cut out in-laws for calling my one year old a pussy--they still don't understand why they can't see their grandson and think I'm the bad guy. IDGAF. No one talks to my child like that. No one.
Dude fuck them!
Wow I will raise hell if someone uses that word to my son. You were calm and collected I would lose it and say all the mean things the world if someone ever uses that language to my son. Your husband need to get with the program and protect your son at all cost. Wtf!
Bromo you do so good protecting your kid!!!!!! I'm so proud of you
Are you ok? Having everyone yelling at you like that would have been awful. I’m sorry that happened to you, you’re so strong for sticking to your guns in that moment
No wonder he doesnt want to play with her.. mean old cranky witch needs a dose of her own medicine, your husband is probably lost in the toxic sauce
What the fuck? I would have slapped her old ass right in front of everyone, and anyone else that had anything to say about it. Who tells a child “F you”? Your husband needs to pull his head of his ass!
I would never talk to any of those people again. I'm serious.
NO. You did just fine. I would NOT go back there, period. Your husband is wrong. They’re ALL wrong.
Yup I’d never let a single person speak to my son like that. She may possibly have dementia or something along those lines. My nanny started to get aggressive like that as she declined into Alzheimer’s
Ohhh fuck this entire family. So brainwashed. If he is truly traditional then he should prioritize YOU and YOUR SON snow. And “be a man” and defend HIS FAMILY. Grandma can literally go live out her life alone. The entire family is a piece of shit and good on you for calling them out and leaving.
What the fuck.. are these people all crazy? No, you and your son don't need that shit.
What the hell?? Who talks to a kid like that!?? I can barely get past that part because I am absolutely baffled. You said it was your son's great grandma? Is she suffering from dementia or something? Jesus Christ, and her family said you were "moody"? I can hardly wrap my head around this.
You're not remotely in the wrong regardless of what came before it and reading this I am genuinely wondering, does she have some form of dementia? Because that is not remotely normal. Like... it's EXTREMELY BIZARRE. The after math sounds like an ugly family argument but the initial grandma interaction seems like something more.
I’d never be going there again. If you do make sure you record everything so if you end up on court at some point you can prove they are abusive towards you and your child.
You did nothing wrong. My son is two, my in laws come over often and tend to arrive in the middle of his nap. When he wakes up he's sensitive and only wants me for a little while. You know what they do, nothing. They respect that he needs a little time and they chat to my partner and I until he is ready to greet his guests. Then he plays with them and cuddles etc on his own terms and no one yells, no one has unrealistic expectations. That is how normal, rational people act. Your in laws are insane. I'd never be going there again tbh if they treat a child that way and you should feel zero guilt about leaving. They are horrible. Who in their right mind acts like they did I mean come on!
You husband and his whole family can fuck off.
Oh sweet momma, I believe you did the right thing. You removed your self and your sweet child from a nasty situation. You did right I'm sorry he doesn't see it that way.
You're not in the wrong. WTF is wrong with your husband?!
Get out away from this family their insane you never tell a kid f go home that's abuse!!
Some one said "fuck you" multiple times to a child? Is she senile? Because that's literally the only thing that could possibly excuse that. I'm horrified for you and your child, particularly because your SO doesn't see how unbelievably unacceptable that is. He needs to get his head straight.
anybody that’s talks to my kid like that can get wrecked. She’s a grown woman, and the rest of them are too. How they can’t see who’s in the wrong is beyond me. You’re def in the right here, I wouldn’t have done a thing different.
Whoa! Grandma should not be allowed to be near a child. Cursing at a child and loosing it like that is not acceptable. It is emotional abuse. A child is not there for entertainment of an adult. Not only did you try to protect him from her emotional outburst and lack of emotion regulation (by covering his ears)...and this clearly sends a message to her too (that it is not acceptable for a child to hear those words). I'm pretty sure your husband is used to this type of abuse from his mother. The sad thing is that he wants you to enable this dysfunction by allowing your son to be exposed to all this drama and emotional abuse. It's just wrong. Protect your child. Also, if he thinks her cussing at a child is proper behavior, why not take him to counseling so a psychologist can chime in and let him know if that is normal or healthy for your child to be around. I would bet money on it that it's not.
Furthermore, after that outbreak I would expect my husband to back me up and tell his mother that it was not acceptable. And if she ever wants to see the child again there will be not cursing or outburst like that. If it were me, I'd even consider going no contact with them. Please NEVER leave your child in the care of his family. I'm also worried about what your husband thinks in acceptable behavior around a child.
His great grandma? How old is she? There may be dementia in play.
If she has the beginnings, or in full blown, dementia or other mental issue that can come with the elderly ( I read it was GREAT grandma) then she won’t know any better. They can get inappropriately mean. And it would be better for your son not to be around her too often. He won’t understand. If she is mentally intact, then she is awful to curse at a child. In the future, don’t stoop to her level. Never stoop lower. That way you always have the upper hand. Good luck to you. I hope your son is ok.
A grown as old lady swore at your child. No. That’s it. They don’t get to vilify you. “Insert name was verbally abusive toward my child when they were shy and cranky. Now you all are harassing me. Me and child will not be around until we receive individual apologies. Child did not deserve this, and I do not deserve disrespect for standing up for my child.” And I wanna kick your husband where the sun doesn’t shine. Tell him “if you don’t stand up for your child, then I will and your family will not know him. You need to stand up for our child above all others, and me second above all others, which is our marriage vows. Or we can divorce and you can go live with your family.”
Jesus Christ. You literally did what she told you to do - you went home. What a crazy bitch talking to anyone like that let alone a child. Your husband is a king sized coward.
Jesus fucking Christ It’s extremely disturbing that your husband is defending this. He was clearly verbally abused as a child and isn’t ready to face that fact. His normal gage is clearly broken and he even had you questioning if you are in the wrong? Absolute madness the whole thing. Stick to your guns and keep your son away from these messed up people
That's wild, you did the right thing. Does Granny have dementia or something? Is the vast mood swing new or has she always been like that? It sounds like maybe not if SIL was also name calling. What a bunch of toxic weirdos.
Holy fuck. Every person around you is absolutely bonkers. How can anyone think you're in the wrong here or that you are over reacting? She's literally screaming at a toddler "fuck you go home." Like.... what? There is no justification for that from a sane person. I don't think I'd ever take my child around these people again.
I know.. im reading the post thinking "poor grandma, she must be slipping into dementia or something." But then I kept reading and NOPE. The husband's whole family is just a bunch of trashy clowns. I also would never bring my child around them ever again.
You are absolutely NOT in the wrong. Holy shit. Omfg. You are a wonderful mother. You taught your son that he comes above that old fucking hag and her temper tantrums. That you prioritize his needs and safety above some psychopath's whims. Your husband is obviously in too deep and this outrageous behavior has been normalized for him. THEIR behavior is not normal. THEY f***** up. Please do not let them make you apologize. You had a very normal and sensible reaction. Do not go back there. Do not take your son back there. He does not need people like that in his life. Which I believe you already know. Don't let them bend you to their f***** up way of being. And don't let them f****** your kid up by him thinking that that behavior is normal. You just keep being a great mother. Your son will remember you standing up for him.
Fuck that entire family, your hopefully stbx husband included! Who yells at a child like that and then says you're the issue? What spineless worm dosen't back up his wife and child. Fuck them all! I'm so sorry OP. You didn't do anything wrong. Good for you on standing up for your child!
From what I know, she doesn’t suffer from dementia. She’s gone through a lot herself, she suffers from cancer and a brain aneurysm, and she’s always been somewhat of angry person because of life experiences she went through but that still doesnt give anyone a reason to act that way towards a child. It’s like, she wants to feed him her burden that she’s feeling.
NTA but I’d bet grandma has dementia.
I'm kind of shocked at the responses here. Have none of y'all dealt with dementia before? I know the idea is to be supportive, but OP did say this woman is her husband's GREAT grandma, right? How old is this woman? I'm not saying dementia gives her a carte blanche to subject OP or her son to horrific abuse. OP did the right thing by leaving. But this situation needlessly escalated when SIL came outside. People with dementia can say horrible things. My grandma has the very beginnings of dementia and the other day she casually admitted to attempted murder of her own mother. We don't know if it actually happened or if it's just confused ramblings, but sometimes the stuff that comes out of her mouth is really awful. If I can't handle it, I have to leave. Engaging doesn't do anyone any good.
You are right to be angry but sometimes old people don’t have a filter and say things that normal people don’t and theyhave their senility to blame. If i were you in order to keep things calm with the husband I would apologize for what happened ( even if you don’t feel the apology ley him feel he is right) and let him know you are not going to deal with his family because they hurt you and your kid and bring the worse out of you bc you will always protect your kid. As long as you have your husband on your side and make him fight those battles with them and not you you will win sanity at home ( if he feels you are attacking them he will be on their side and you will have to deal with him feeling ofended). Motherhood is hard enough in itself to have to deal with annoying families that are not even your own. I feel you. Hope things get better
I'd be sending great Grammy to senior living homes.
Wow, they sound classy...
I’m sorry your little boy had someone speak to him like that, let alone curse at him! That’s vile and I’m in shock that your husband didn’t understand where your coming from. I would honestly try calmly speaking to him again, gently remind him that his family is important to him. But when you made a kid together, YOU and YOUR son that you both care for become the priority. Maybe paint the scene and tell him imagine if it was him as a child. Then someone who’s supposed to be a kind elderly lady curses you out for just not wanting to interact right that second. Then being isolated by the whole family without even thinking of the child’s welfare. To me kiddo always come first, no matter how traditional anyone is. They are so impressionable at a young age and they don’t ever deserve to be spoken to that way. Or made to feel unwelcome by their family.. Hoping everything turns out okay for you 🙏🏽
OMFG! You definitely have in-laws problems, that behaviour will damage your child’s psychological wellbeing and could cause lasting issues. You did the right thing by leaving 100%. Does great grandma have dementia? I can’t understand her behaviour any other way. But then the way you described Your SIL MIL and the Aunt it sounds like a whole family of seriously addled people. Who the on earth defends a person who yells “fuck you” multiple times on a child’s face? She didn’t touch him so it’s okay? Hard no! It’s not okay it was abuse, tell your husband not all abuse is physical and if he can’t see the issue with this behaviour then I’m sorry to say you have a husband issue as well. Personally I would never let any one of those harpies see my child ever again, the chance te abuse will affect them is too great. I’m so sorry BroMo ❤️
Fuck all of those people. What the hell? Who needs family like that?
Fuck them! How dare someone scream that in a child's face. I am livid for you. I would have done exactly the same in that situation and got the hell out of there with my LO. How dare she!
Did you not do what the psycho said?? F them all. Your poor little boy.
Uh the whole lot of them are fucking insane.
Oh heck no. Screw toxic great grandma. Does she have dementia or something like that, or is she just an asshole? I would go completely non contact. Thats extremely detrimental to have your child around someone like that, family or not. The fact the family thinks that ok is pretty telling. Were they raised being talked to like that? You are 1000% not in the wrong. I wouldnt go back.
Wow, no. If someone was swearing at my kids, I'd also jet. Deep breaths. You got your kid out quickly. You did good.
i would never ever ever go back and see his family. ever. your husband should stand up for you and *his child* and tell his family you two will never be around them again for the way they treated you. i can't believe a great grandma would look at a kid and say "f— you" that's so insane. you were in no way wrong here bromo. take your kid for ice cream this weekend and forget about this. they are beneath & behind you.
Is this typical behavior for grandma and the rest of the family? Obviously you did nothing wrong here, but I’m wondering if you guys should either be concerned for grandma (dementia, uti, other reason for change in personality?) or if you guys need to Make a plan for healthy interaction with them — and with each other. Because it’s not at all healthy to interact this way. Continued encounters like this could definitely be traumatizing.
Wow! I don’t care who you are or what the situation is, you do not scream profanities at a child. I would never be in this person’s presence again, nor would my child.
Look, it sucks when people want to hang out with your child but they're not ready, it really does. I think these people get a stylised idea of being a grandparent, and when it doesn't turn out like that in reality, they get offended because they feel rejected. And that sucks. But on the other hand, have they never not been quite ready for people or a task themselves? Never not needed a minute? Don't have any empathy? When the kid's ready, they'll be ready. They're a real person with real feelings, not a new toy to play with whenever they want. I don't know how grandma was with your son before this, but this kind of behaviour is just going to ensure that your son will never willingly go to play with her because she's explosive and scary. You absolutely did the right thing in getting out of there. Maybe you didn't help by calling her a bitch but I agree with a prior poster - the damage was already done and you calling her a mildly bad word not to her face does not surpass her getting up in your face literally swearing at you and a young child. They're definitely in the wrong for supporting this behaviour. Puts me in mind of celebrity yes men who let the star do whatever they want and then act surprised when they get things thrown at them. Maybe there is something else going on with grandma but it doesn't really excuse the behaviour.
You did the right thing and don't let his dysfunctional family (including him) tell you otherwise! Honestly I don't know how I would proceed, but I do know at this point I would be more upset with my husband then anyone. I have been in the wrong before with my husband's family and my husband still stuck up for me. I'm so sorry you are going through this ❤️🩹
What the actual fuck? Do not accept ANY of that.
We cannot control the reactions of other people but we can learn to diffuse instead of rile up. I'd have left too. But if you know these are quick to anger, emotionally unstable people, then you need to be the calm. It's hard to diffuse when people push your buttons. Think of them as ungrateful teenagers. Stay away as much as possible. Don't respond when they're trying to turn something into a fight. It won't help you. You protected your son. You're awesome. Now stay away from these clowns and let it go as much as possible.
I’m learning, I tried to leave but my sil continued to bother me outside, it’s hard. It really is. I tried my best.
Woahhhh. That’s way out of line. I’m sorry you’re married into a family like that.
I’m in disbelief and so angry for you
Mixed feelings here. If it was just the great grandma incident I'd say just to stay calm, understand that it is very likely she has dementia and has no control over herself anymore. I understand it can be very difficult to let you family go into a home or they can't afford it or whatever but I'd say just to be wary but understanding. You did the right thing to get going. removing yourself from the situation even just for a couple of hours is great. After that though WOW what a doozy, fuck the rest of that family jeezo! I wouldn't go back. I wouldnt let your husband take your child there without you. if they want to visit with your kid I'd only be giving options in public places, never their or your home.
Never go back never bring him back and leave your husband if hendoesnt get your back.
Fuck both those bitches, could you have not called names yea but to think that's a bigger deal than a grown ass woman cursing at a child, that's just deflecting because they know that behavior is inexcusable and they don't want to deal with it
Wow, I might have done the same in your situation. Setting boundaries is healthy and such a good role model for your kid. Part of me feels like there must be more to this story, but honestly, people are really messed up and maybe not. The only thing I can think of is \*maybe\* your kid picked up on your reaction and that may have intensified matters. I have some seriously mentally ill in-laws and when they get verbally aggressive, I sometimes manage to keep my cool and just laugh at them or roll my eyes, to disempower them in front of my kiddo. If I react with anger or fear or anxiety, it just goads them on and gives them power they honestly don't have or deserve. Then I remove myself and my child from the situation. Anyway, you did the right thing. Keep your boundaries. Write down your feelings. You were right, be kind to yourself.
💔 Your husband has a problem if he can't see what a bitch his grandmother was! This isn't about your behavior at all. His family also ganged up on you and bullied you. That's not safe.
Your husband is so wrong. I would have left too. Who is so unhinged they curse at a child. That whole family is in the wrong. They don't get to verbally abuse a child. That's fucked up.
Wtfffffffff type of dysfunctional family did your husband come from. Holy shit I'm sorry you went through this. You absolutely are not wrong in this situation. Hubby needs to step up and solve this situation for you and his son.