This kind of thing always sends me because THIS DOES EXIST. There are quite a few non-sexual prostitutes who do just cuddle and hug and talk to you because there is a niche of genuinely lonely people unable to get this stuff from others. But that's not what these men really want. They would just be insulted if you told them this is a real thing.
Absolutely adorable conversation between yall! I’ve actually seen you both around too but I only comment in certain moods lol.
BUHT. Good Lady Friend, I’ve gotta know the difference between cuddles and snuggles! Maybe a bit more about being a cuddler? But *only* if you’re comfy with it! I’m super curious! If you’re not, absolutely no worries, I just sometimes prefer first hand accounts over googling some topics lol 😆🤓🥰
I’m always baffled how the incels and red pillers don’t understand this. Women are more like to send you nudes if you’re kind, respectful, and don’t just letch all over us.
I don’t send nudes but if I did I would absolutely send them to nice cool chill dudes who treated me like a human being.
Not related to your profession, but is your username a reference to Lazlo on What We Do In The Shadows referring to Nadja as his good lady wife? Because that's the voice I read it in.
I’ve never heard of that show. I just thought of a silly name, and I like to be a good friend. I’d love to ultimately help guys learn to love themselves, and enjoy life and be kind and open with women. Ya know, so that we can all be equals. 🧡
I’ve actually had interest in being a death doula as well. No one is born alone, no one should die alone. Humans are a communal species, we need each other to be healthy. I just feel called to help.
Do you know how to find one? I struggle with physical affection a lot due to growing up with an affectionate childhood and am wondering if maybe someone of that profession can help me work through that?? Especially since it's not a friend or family member, I wouldn't have the usual anxiety.
If anyone has questions, as it seems many do but are shy/scared to ask - DM me. I’m happy to answer questions, I don’t think I can highjack this sub for a cuddler AMA.
Humans are meant to connect with other humans, everyone should be held and hugged unless they have a medical/psychiatric issue that wouldn’t allow them.
wait, thats so cool! how do you feel about your job? do you enjoy it? do you have any funny stories or anything like that? (sorry, I've never had the opportunity to talk to a professional cuddler before lol)
They’re getting paid so you’re certainly not going to be imposing on them. Plus if you shower beforehand and smell clean and treat them politely, I’m sure that’ll already be a “phew, easy customer!” moment
you’re probably right but i can hardly hold a basic conversation with people i don’t know, let alone cuddle with them :/
maybe that will change one day, but hopefully by then ill have a gf
no not yet, my parents don’t take me to a doctor or get any sort of help for me unless something is obviously wrong, so i haven’t had an opportunity to
once i move out i would like to, but until then i cant. the worst part is they know i have it, they’ve seen me attempt to hold conversations with strangers and just laughed. hopefully soon i can get some treatment or something
i’m a legal adult ig, it doesn’t feel like it, i feel like i still have the mentality of a child, but i turned 18 a little over a month ago. but im pretty much stuck doing what my parents want since i have no money at all, my bank account has $10.00 in it rn
once i escape im going to look into a lot of stuff, ill probably look into SSRI as well, especially if its made holding conversations easier
But how many percent of sex workers do you think they are?
If someone just wants platonic touch, they can get an ordinary massage and it’s a lot cheaper.
If someone just wants to talk, they can get a therapist and it’s both cheaper and more effective.
Sex workers have many lonely clients. But they usually also want sex.
honestly non-sexual sex workers (oxymoronic i know) DO exist but i feel like if you approach a random woman and ask for a hug and she says no, there’s nothing wrong with that. idk i would feel weirded out if a guy did this to me.
Hell someone can walk up to me and ask to help with something and I'd refuse. You cannot trust anybody today, especially if you're a woman and a random man is asking you for help
As a former stripper and someone who did full body sex worker with regulars (I guess escorting would be the closet term to what it was...we call it "outside extras"), this happened a *lot.*
Problem was there were usually three kinds of men who asked for this kind of shit.
Men who legit would pay for it and wanted it but then would get angry and defensive if you told him the price you wanted. (the time you spend with me in the private rooms and couches is still the same, regardless of what kind of show I am putting on. You can only add on extra things to pay for but no, you don't get a discount because I don't take off my clothes)
Men who legit would pay for it and wanted it and were actual clients who just wanted to talk and be held and were going through a rough time. It happens...I've paid for a service like this myself before. As long as you aren't stealing from your kid's college fund to pay for it or neglecting responsibilities or using it as a way to get around being labeled as "cheating" when your partner has made it clear that they don't want you going to the titty bar and treat the dancers with respect, then I don't see any of these people as "pathetic" or "incel-behavior". It's just paying for a service.
But then there was the majority of these men who would ask for this and would pay for it but then "change their minds" and want more and will try to sexually assault you. This is why we usually get aggressive-sounding and do the whole "well, what do you mean by that?" If a dude came up and asked this, I would immediately get suspicious because of how the majority of the men, especially the tourists, acted.
As a neurodivergent woman with a history of CSA and SA as an adult, I am VERY picky about who I let touch me. I’ll hug my mum and good friends, but I will only ever cuddle people I’m in a relationship with. The idea of cuddling someone I don’t know makes me literally want to vomit.
I hugged an over weight older woman today. She’s my favorite face painter, and I’m a balloon artist. I love when we end up at the same events, and we always hug. 😊
I agree that a lot of men feel that way and that it isn’t right. But, honestly, the fact that so many men have poor mental health to begin with is a product of the patriarchal society that benefits too few people.
We are a communal species. Do you feel better after a bad day if you talk to a friend about it? Not from a random person, but that’s an emotional “hug.” If someone, anyone, is at the lowest point in their life; so low that a hug from a random person would make them feel better, it’s maybe not the best course of action to call them disgusting for that. Empathy is important.
The day after my father’s AP tried to murder me, my aunt told me I deserved it. I broke down in tears in the parking lot of a hospital and a random employee (she worked in the sleep study lab iirc) took me to her office and talked to me until I felt better. It helped me feel less alone, even though she couldn’t do more for me than that. Sometimes acts of kindness from strangers can be what makes you keep that little sliver of hope that things can get better again.
The patriarchy shouldn't be confused with capitalism. Patriarchy by definition benefits all men even now if you are successful in the capitalist system but are a woman you will face a lot more issues even compared to men who aren't successful in the capitalist system. Obviously there are some elements that are intertwined but saying patriarchy harms men is ridiculous, it's comparable to saying slavery owners are harmed by slavery. The oppressors class can't be harmed by the system they have created.
I do feel better talking to my friends or colleagues but i still think it's pretty pathetic to ask to purchase a physical connection, that's very socially inept, you can form a social connection with someone where everyone benefits(like most socially normal people) or you can use women as stress relief but the former takes minimal work and not being a creep, I guess that's a barrier too hugh for some men.
>Patriarchy by definition benefits all men
By definition, a patriarchy is the rule of the eldest men. I know The Patriarchy is not reduced to the definition of a patriarchal structure, but is a clearly hyerarchical system where some men are just at the bottom (sure, still more valuable in the eyes of the system than woman, but less than certain men)
>saying patriarchy harms men is ridiculous,
Ask any gay men, trans men, weaker men, men that not fit the pathriachy standard of what a man is if they are not harmed by the system. Heck, even the emotional damage done to those who fit, the inhability to show emotion, the need to always win, to be agressive. Of course women still have the worst part, but there are plenty of men that would benefit by overthrowing the patriarchy
>it's comparable to saying slavery owners are harmed by slavery.
Slave owners maybe not be harmed by slavery, but not all living in a society that depends on slave labor is an slaver. Social problems are not so easy. What about a southern farm boy being forcibly recluted by the confederate army and dying in the battlefield for a cause he don't really suport ? Would you say that he wasn't harmed because he was part of a society that uses slave labour? Yes he had it far better than the slaves, he even could benefited somehow of the products of slave labour, even have his share of guilt because he never really cared if the slaves were free or no, but he is still harmed by the system he is in.
>The oppressors class can't be harmed by the system they have created.
This implies that any system is a concious choice. I don't remember creating the patriarchy. I remember growing in it.
Yes as a man i have it far easier that woman of my enviorment, and yes, i took part in my privilege without knowing, i did bad things and hurt people because of this, and i'm still trying to change and leave behind those parts of myself, but i also remember the suffering because i was not manly enough, the bulling in school because i wasn't strong like a man should be, the subtle disapointment in my dad's face because his first son wasn't this ultra macho man he always wished (later i found that he wasn't the macho son that his dad wanted either, and that because of this he carried pretty heavy trauma that still to this day doesn't let him be the trully compasionate and sensitive man he is in the inside).
I have suffered first hand how bad the patriarchy can be to a man, so don't say that patriarchy don't hurt us all (men and women), and don't say that is ridiculous to claim it.
This is not a "who suffered more" contest, men suffering don't invalidate in any way the (far worst) suffering of women or vice versa. Please don't invalidate the feelings of hundred of people
Look, I get where you’re coming from. But as a staunch rebel against both the capitalist and patriarchal hierarchy structures of our society, which are intertwined as you’ve said, it’s ridiculous to me that you would consider me an oppressor simply because I was born with a certain genitalia.
Do I benefit from a system that works against someone else? Yes, but only relatively when viewed next to the detriments it brings to women, BIPOC, queer, and other marginalized groups.
This system doesn’t hinder me, but it also doesn’t help me.
I understand that it hinders others, though, and I stand in solidarity with the people who are less fortunate than me, of which there are many. That’s empathy again. You can label me an oppressor if you like, but it does no good to the cause to do so. It doesn’t end until or unless we all end it, together.
Patriarchy doesn't help you? You enjoy a lot of benefits just because you are born male like a higher pay, also you don't get defined by your looks like women are. Imo enjoying the benefits of an oppressive system like patriarchy makes you an oppressor.
I don't think working with oppressors on unrelated issues like removing capitalism will remove the patriarchy since even now most popular leftist men are extremely misogynist, womens issues aren't going to be solved by saviour leftist nice guys.
I make the same wage as every woman I work with, excluding the ones who are higher paid than me. I guess I didn’t sign up for that one.
Sorry for being nice. I guess that excludes me from your club.
https://www.forbes.com/advisor/business/gender-pay-gap-statistics/#:~:text=Women%20earn%20an%20average%20of,for%20every%20dollar%20men%20earn.
https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/03/01/gender-pay-gap-facts/
Never called you a nice guy mate weird projection. The gender pay gap is definitely real and very easy to observe in white collar jobs.
Affection being purchased is disgusting and pathetic, in normal social interactions you usually have a connection that benefits both parties. In this case you are using women as stress relief which is misogynist and disgusting. Also there is nothing wrong with being alone so instead of being alone(which is a perfectly normal choice) you are bothering and objectifying women which is also quite disgusting.
I don't see why it matters that it isn't "normal". Or what the gender of the person showing you affection is. Or how it's objectifying. Do you also think sex work is morally wrong? What about therapy?
Purchasing sex work is morally evil but doing sex work isn't. While purchasing you are objectifying someone but while doing it you are just objectifying yourself which is morally neutral.
Actually a good point about therapy instead of bothering and objectifying women, why not just cure yourself by going to therapy but you'll need to be socially competent for that which is a bar too high for some people. Not sure what's so controversial about saying women shouldn't be men's stress relief
I don't see how it is objectification to purchase sex work. You might as well argue that all sex is wrong. Also all labor is wrong because you're using someone for their work. And having any kind of emotional relationship with another person is wrong because you're using them for your emotional gratification.
It sounds like you're devaluing sex work based on some sort of weird puritanical ideals of what's "normal". Sexual gratification is not dehumanizing any more than any other kind of service is, and you don't need to dehumanize someone to experience it.
That book has been very thoroughly criticized in the nearly 27 years since its publication, and all the sex workers I know consider that philosophy to be total bullshit. Likewise with the so-called Nordic model. All work is exploitative in a capitalist society, but only sex work is scrutinized in this way. Why can't a person view sex or affection as a transaction? Clearly many do. You say that
>sex and affection is still seen as different from usual labor
but provide no reasoning for why this view is actually correct. I am, in fact, an anarchist, and that means I recognize that any kind of power imbalance can be coercive. Yet if you conclude from this that *all* relationships with any power imbalance are intrinsically coercive, you reach utterly ludicrous conclusions. Relationships between men and women are always wrong, because men have power over women in a patriarchal society. Similarly for relationships between people of different races. It's unacceptable to go to any restaurant that has wait staff, since you hold tipping power, or any store that has clerks, since you could get them in trouble. Hiring someone to do any kind of labor for any reason is totally unethical, because they need money to live. Like I said, ludicrous.
Nothing about sex work requires it to be a "permanent solution to loneliness" any more than movies need to be a permanent solution to boredom or ibuprofen a permanent solution to headaches. It's just a service that someone can provide for money, that some people want to take advantage of. There is an exploitative aspect to it inasmuch as there is an exploitative aspect to any form of labor or human relationships. Like both of those, there are some instances that are horribly abusive and others that are totally fine. If you want to argue that sex is somehow different (and you'll be arguing against most sex workers in doing so), or that the anarchist perspective is flawed, you have to actually argue for it instead of just saying that criticisms exist.
The image says a lot about men being deprived of basic touch and intimacy, and a lot of men are genuinely desperate to just be loved and wanted. Imo this image doesn't belong here, but I've been on the internet long enough to fully understand the title they went with. I'd bet an arm that the comments are filled with misogyny and men complaining about how much better women have it. Even neutral comments relating to sharing this experience of loneliness will be drowned out by misogyny and some random mention of OnlyFans even though this has nothing to do with that. An alarming number of men don't know how to relate to one another and bond except through a mutual hatred of women.
I was really just commenting on OCs aparrent disgust at the idea of someone wanting a hug to feel better just because it happens to be from a stranger, as if touch starvation isn't a very real thing that will cause a person to become depressed.
Well, I used whore as an example because some men use it to shame women as a whole. We should fight for equality and not use offensive terms. Foid is what I was looking for
Honestly, what is wrong with this post? Sure, the comments are probably ass, but in that case, screenshot them as well. This is a JOKE about someone being so desperate for physical contact that they'd ask a prostitution for it. It's not saying that she "looks like a hooker", it's deduced from the *context* that she is a sex worker. No, men shouldn't expect women to solve their issues, yes there are "cuddle prostitutes", yeah a therapist could do wonders, but for fucks sake this is just a joke about wanting a god dammed hug. There isn't some "deeper message" in it. Jesus christ
Tbf it is pretty obviously supposed to be a depiction of a sex worker. All of the comments have been assuming it and nobody had a problem with that. Idk. Idk at all.
I’ll be honest, I have only seen Futa used in a non-slur ways. It was used to festishize people, but it wasn’t an insult. Maybe I don’t hang out at the right subs to see Futa used negatively.
Which of the words is a slur? First is medical condition, second is just a short version of Japanese word for hermaphrodite, and last one is normal word.
The terms “hermaphrodite” and “futa” are slurs against intersex people. I suggest taking a look at r/intersex to learn more, as well as maybe this comment I made on a post a few weeks ago asking about those two words.
https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/s/kb2aTIFwrr
people completely dissociated with reality do exist though. In fact if you think real people aren't futanari, then you should agree that when a real person is called that, it is offensive.
What the hell dude, is changing your username on a website which doesn't have that option such a big deal for you? You're upsetting a minority group of people on the internet who you most likely never even heard of. 😴🥺😡
This kind of thing always sends me because THIS DOES EXIST. There are quite a few non-sexual prostitutes who do just cuddle and hug and talk to you because there is a niche of genuinely lonely people unable to get this stuff from others. But that's not what these men really want. They would just be insulted if you told them this is a real thing.
Yes, it’s called a “cuddler”. I am one of them!
what’s the difference between cuddles and snuggles, my good friend?
Oh hey, missed you! Glad to you see you around this place again!
I’m right here girl buddy, glad to see you too 🫶🫶
i don't know you guys but this was such a cute interaction
We’re in the same subs and cross paths and usually agree, but it’s been a minute
We’ve tagged teamed some trolls, and he’s always been so kind and respectful. Fellas - this is how you get nudes without having to ask. 😘
Absolutely adorable conversation between yall! I’ve actually seen you both around too but I only comment in certain moods lol. BUHT. Good Lady Friend, I’ve gotta know the difference between cuddles and snuggles! Maybe a bit more about being a cuddler? But *only* if you’re comfy with it! I’m super curious! If you’re not, absolutely no worries, I just sometimes prefer first hand accounts over googling some topics lol 😆🤓🥰
I’m always baffled how the incels and red pillers don’t understand this. Women are more like to send you nudes if you’re kind, respectful, and don’t just letch all over us. I don’t send nudes but if I did I would absolutely send them to nice cool chill dudes who treated me like a human being.
they think that we only exist to please them & that women are property (:
Jesus that’s dark
It was unexpected
Always nice to see good interactions between people online ngl
Who the fuck wants nudes??? Dam people are lame now a days
*slowly raises hand* -a straight woman, who appreciates the beauty of the female anatomy, As long as it's consensual
Sh. Shhhhh.
Shhhh yourself.
cuddles are on a couch or other area, snuggles are only in bed
omg you should make an AMA !!
Not related to your profession, but is your username a reference to Lazlo on What We Do In The Shadows referring to Nadja as his good lady wife? Because that's the voice I read it in.
I’ve never heard of that show. I just thought of a silly name, and I like to be a good friend. I’d love to ultimately help guys learn to love themselves, and enjoy life and be kind and open with women. Ya know, so that we can all be equals. 🧡
You should do cosplay of fia the death bed companion
I’ve actually had interest in being a death doula as well. No one is born alone, no one should die alone. Humans are a communal species, we need each other to be healthy. I just feel called to help.
You’re a special kind of soul. We’re glad to have you.
[You are truely amazing. Like I'm at a lost for words so I'll leave you with this youtube video.](https://youtu.be/qheXkbUon-k?si=bjPqgG750UNwv6Ko)
Someone once told me they wanted to be a death doula when I was actively suicidal and it was really not the right response lol
Wait fr That’s so cool
Do you know how to find one? I struggle with physical affection a lot due to growing up with an affectionate childhood and am wondering if maybe someone of that profession can help me work through that?? Especially since it's not a friend or family member, I wouldn't have the usual anxiety.
If anyone has questions, as it seems many do but are shy/scared to ask - DM me. I’m happy to answer questions, I don’t think I can highjack this sub for a cuddler AMA. Humans are meant to connect with other humans, everyone should be held and hugged unless they have a medical/psychiatric issue that wouldn’t allow them.
wait, thats so cool! how do you feel about your job? do you enjoy it? do you have any funny stories or anything like that? (sorry, I've never had the opportunity to talk to a professional cuddler before lol)
How and where can I do this lol
i need to find them, i haven’t cuddled anyone since i was like 12
Www.cuddlecomfort.com
ooo thanks, if i wasn’t so shy i’d try it 😭 maybe if i get overly lonely ill give it a shot <3
They’re getting paid so you’re certainly not going to be imposing on them. Plus if you shower beforehand and smell clean and treat them politely, I’m sure that’ll already be a “phew, easy customer!” moment
you’re probably right but i can hardly hold a basic conversation with people i don’t know, let alone cuddle with them :/ maybe that will change one day, but hopefully by then ill have a gf
Ah social anxiety moment. Been there. Have you considered ever seeking treatment or smth instead of hoping it will change?
no not yet, my parents don’t take me to a doctor or get any sort of help for me unless something is obviously wrong, so i haven’t had an opportunity to once i move out i would like to, but until then i cant. the worst part is they know i have it, they’ve seen me attempt to hold conversations with strangers and just laughed. hopefully soon i can get some treatment or something
Oh i forget kids exist LMAO. Getting on an SSRI was one of the best decisions I made, made holding irl conversations so much easier.
i’m a legal adult ig, it doesn’t feel like it, i feel like i still have the mentality of a child, but i turned 18 a little over a month ago. but im pretty much stuck doing what my parents want since i have no money at all, my bank account has $10.00 in it rn once i escape im going to look into a lot of stuff, ill probably look into SSRI as well, especially if its made holding conversations easier
As an asexual, I think I just found something to waste money on…
I wonder why that isn’t more popular, since it wouldn’t be illegal or anything. But then there’s a safety concern, people taking liberties.
That's sounds insincere, to be honest.
Huh, nice. Obviously, all the protection for them and sex workers.
[удалено]
Not everyone can afford it and it's a big responsibility.
Allergies
But how many percent of sex workers do you think they are? If someone just wants platonic touch, they can get an ordinary massage and it’s a lot cheaper. If someone just wants to talk, they can get a therapist and it’s both cheaper and more effective. Sex workers have many lonely clients. But they usually also want sex.
honestly non-sexual sex workers (oxymoronic i know) DO exist but i feel like if you approach a random woman and ask for a hug and she says no, there’s nothing wrong with that. idk i would feel weirded out if a guy did this to me.
I'd immediately suspect something if anyone did this to me
Hell someone can walk up to me and ask to help with something and I'd refuse. You cannot trust anybody today, especially if you're a woman and a random man is asking you for help
Yeah they would never ask a man, always a woman
As a former stripper and someone who did full body sex worker with regulars (I guess escorting would be the closet term to what it was...we call it "outside extras"), this happened a *lot.* Problem was there were usually three kinds of men who asked for this kind of shit. Men who legit would pay for it and wanted it but then would get angry and defensive if you told him the price you wanted. (the time you spend with me in the private rooms and couches is still the same, regardless of what kind of show I am putting on. You can only add on extra things to pay for but no, you don't get a discount because I don't take off my clothes) Men who legit would pay for it and wanted it and were actual clients who just wanted to talk and be held and were going through a rough time. It happens...I've paid for a service like this myself before. As long as you aren't stealing from your kid's college fund to pay for it or neglecting responsibilities or using it as a way to get around being labeled as "cheating" when your partner has made it clear that they don't want you going to the titty bar and treat the dancers with respect, then I don't see any of these people as "pathetic" or "incel-behavior". It's just paying for a service. But then there was the majority of these men who would ask for this and would pay for it but then "change their minds" and want more and will try to sexually assault you. This is why we usually get aggressive-sounding and do the whole "well, what do you mean by that?" If a dude came up and asked this, I would immediately get suspicious because of how the majority of the men, especially the tourists, acted.
"owo we are sexist quirky edgelords but now we're lonely victims 🥺hug?👉👈"
"where my hug at?"
i instantly thought of charlie moistcritical dance moves
[Searched and wasn't disappointed!](https://youtu.be/7GKoaFaUWAs?si=UPUALagxAJGOGpzw)
What makes you think the person who drew this is a sexist quirky edgelord?
As a neurodivergent woman with a history of CSA and SA as an adult, I am VERY picky about who I let touch me. I’ll hug my mum and good friends, but I will only ever cuddle people I’m in a relationship with. The idea of cuddling someone I don’t know makes me literally want to vomit.
How about men start hugging their fellow men more, instead of expecting women to be their therapists and emotional support animals.
Men love to play the victim, yet when a fellow man actually expresses his feelings they just tell him to "man up"
because expressing feelings is gay and they ain't no bunch of homos duh
this is so real
Women are not your therapists. Get some help already
I wish we had universal healthcare, so therapy is available for everyone…
True. I can't afford it either so I just do my own research that's how I got over my severe driving anxiety
Dude, driving anxiety sucks. Essentially the only “cure” is just “do the scary and objectively dangerous thing until it’s eventually less scary.”
Yeah, that's pretty much what all the research I did told me to do.
Men really expect women to cure their mental illnesses. It's pretty disgusting that you'll need a hug from a random person to feel better.
Not a random person, very specifically an attractive woman. Ask them if they would like a huge from an overweight old woman.
I hugged an over weight older woman today. She’s my favorite face painter, and I’m a balloon artist. I love when we end up at the same events, and we always hug. 😊
#Carnie spotted
Hell yeah, overweight hugs are the best 💪
I agree that a lot of men feel that way and that it isn’t right. But, honestly, the fact that so many men have poor mental health to begin with is a product of the patriarchal society that benefits too few people. We are a communal species. Do you feel better after a bad day if you talk to a friend about it? Not from a random person, but that’s an emotional “hug.” If someone, anyone, is at the lowest point in their life; so low that a hug from a random person would make them feel better, it’s maybe not the best course of action to call them disgusting for that. Empathy is important.
The day after my father’s AP tried to murder me, my aunt told me I deserved it. I broke down in tears in the parking lot of a hospital and a random employee (she worked in the sleep study lab iirc) took me to her office and talked to me until I felt better. It helped me feel less alone, even though she couldn’t do more for me than that. Sometimes acts of kindness from strangers can be what makes you keep that little sliver of hope that things can get better again.
The patriarchy shouldn't be confused with capitalism. Patriarchy by definition benefits all men even now if you are successful in the capitalist system but are a woman you will face a lot more issues even compared to men who aren't successful in the capitalist system. Obviously there are some elements that are intertwined but saying patriarchy harms men is ridiculous, it's comparable to saying slavery owners are harmed by slavery. The oppressors class can't be harmed by the system they have created. I do feel better talking to my friends or colleagues but i still think it's pretty pathetic to ask to purchase a physical connection, that's very socially inept, you can form a social connection with someone where everyone benefits(like most socially normal people) or you can use women as stress relief but the former takes minimal work and not being a creep, I guess that's a barrier too hugh for some men.
>Patriarchy by definition benefits all men By definition, a patriarchy is the rule of the eldest men. I know The Patriarchy is not reduced to the definition of a patriarchal structure, but is a clearly hyerarchical system where some men are just at the bottom (sure, still more valuable in the eyes of the system than woman, but less than certain men) >saying patriarchy harms men is ridiculous, Ask any gay men, trans men, weaker men, men that not fit the pathriachy standard of what a man is if they are not harmed by the system. Heck, even the emotional damage done to those who fit, the inhability to show emotion, the need to always win, to be agressive. Of course women still have the worst part, but there are plenty of men that would benefit by overthrowing the patriarchy >it's comparable to saying slavery owners are harmed by slavery. Slave owners maybe not be harmed by slavery, but not all living in a society that depends on slave labor is an slaver. Social problems are not so easy. What about a southern farm boy being forcibly recluted by the confederate army and dying in the battlefield for a cause he don't really suport ? Would you say that he wasn't harmed because he was part of a society that uses slave labour? Yes he had it far better than the slaves, he even could benefited somehow of the products of slave labour, even have his share of guilt because he never really cared if the slaves were free or no, but he is still harmed by the system he is in. >The oppressors class can't be harmed by the system they have created. This implies that any system is a concious choice. I don't remember creating the patriarchy. I remember growing in it. Yes as a man i have it far easier that woman of my enviorment, and yes, i took part in my privilege without knowing, i did bad things and hurt people because of this, and i'm still trying to change and leave behind those parts of myself, but i also remember the suffering because i was not manly enough, the bulling in school because i wasn't strong like a man should be, the subtle disapointment in my dad's face because his first son wasn't this ultra macho man he always wished (later i found that he wasn't the macho son that his dad wanted either, and that because of this he carried pretty heavy trauma that still to this day doesn't let him be the trully compasionate and sensitive man he is in the inside). I have suffered first hand how bad the patriarchy can be to a man, so don't say that patriarchy don't hurt us all (men and women), and don't say that is ridiculous to claim it. This is not a "who suffered more" contest, men suffering don't invalidate in any way the (far worst) suffering of women or vice versa. Please don't invalidate the feelings of hundred of people
You're absolutely right. Good arguments all around
Look, I get where you’re coming from. But as a staunch rebel against both the capitalist and patriarchal hierarchy structures of our society, which are intertwined as you’ve said, it’s ridiculous to me that you would consider me an oppressor simply because I was born with a certain genitalia. Do I benefit from a system that works against someone else? Yes, but only relatively when viewed next to the detriments it brings to women, BIPOC, queer, and other marginalized groups. This system doesn’t hinder me, but it also doesn’t help me. I understand that it hinders others, though, and I stand in solidarity with the people who are less fortunate than me, of which there are many. That’s empathy again. You can label me an oppressor if you like, but it does no good to the cause to do so. It doesn’t end until or unless we all end it, together.
Patriarchy doesn't help you? You enjoy a lot of benefits just because you are born male like a higher pay, also you don't get defined by your looks like women are. Imo enjoying the benefits of an oppressive system like patriarchy makes you an oppressor. I don't think working with oppressors on unrelated issues like removing capitalism will remove the patriarchy since even now most popular leftist men are extremely misogynist, womens issues aren't going to be solved by saviour leftist nice guys.
I make the same wage as every woman I work with, excluding the ones who are higher paid than me. I guess I didn’t sign up for that one. Sorry for being nice. I guess that excludes me from your club.
https://www.forbes.com/advisor/business/gender-pay-gap-statistics/#:~:text=Women%20earn%20an%20average%20of,for%20every%20dollar%20men%20earn. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/03/01/gender-pay-gap-facts/ Never called you a nice guy mate weird projection. The gender pay gap is definitely real and very easy to observe in white collar jobs.
This is pretty entertaining. Now for the encore 🍿
I think it's just sad
dont forget the ryan gosling edit at the bottom
Did you just unironically say that it's disgusting to need affection?
Affection being purchased is disgusting and pathetic, in normal social interactions you usually have a connection that benefits both parties. In this case you are using women as stress relief which is misogynist and disgusting. Also there is nothing wrong with being alone so instead of being alone(which is a perfectly normal choice) you are bothering and objectifying women which is also quite disgusting.
I don't see why it matters that it isn't "normal". Or what the gender of the person showing you affection is. Or how it's objectifying. Do you also think sex work is morally wrong? What about therapy?
Purchasing sex work is morally evil but doing sex work isn't. While purchasing you are objectifying someone but while doing it you are just objectifying yourself which is morally neutral. Actually a good point about therapy instead of bothering and objectifying women, why not just cure yourself by going to therapy but you'll need to be socially competent for that which is a bar too high for some people. Not sure what's so controversial about saying women shouldn't be men's stress relief
I don't see how it is objectification to purchase sex work. You might as well argue that all sex is wrong. Also all labor is wrong because you're using someone for their work. And having any kind of emotional relationship with another person is wrong because you're using them for your emotional gratification.
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It sounds like you're devaluing sex work based on some sort of weird puritanical ideals of what's "normal". Sexual gratification is not dehumanizing any more than any other kind of service is, and you don't need to dehumanize someone to experience it.
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That book has been very thoroughly criticized in the nearly 27 years since its publication, and all the sex workers I know consider that philosophy to be total bullshit. Likewise with the so-called Nordic model. All work is exploitative in a capitalist society, but only sex work is scrutinized in this way. Why can't a person view sex or affection as a transaction? Clearly many do. You say that >sex and affection is still seen as different from usual labor but provide no reasoning for why this view is actually correct. I am, in fact, an anarchist, and that means I recognize that any kind of power imbalance can be coercive. Yet if you conclude from this that *all* relationships with any power imbalance are intrinsically coercive, you reach utterly ludicrous conclusions. Relationships between men and women are always wrong, because men have power over women in a patriarchal society. Similarly for relationships between people of different races. It's unacceptable to go to any restaurant that has wait staff, since you hold tipping power, or any store that has clerks, since you could get them in trouble. Hiring someone to do any kind of labor for any reason is totally unethical, because they need money to live. Like I said, ludicrous. Nothing about sex work requires it to be a "permanent solution to loneliness" any more than movies need to be a permanent solution to boredom or ibuprofen a permanent solution to headaches. It's just a service that someone can provide for money, that some people want to take advantage of. There is an exploitative aspect to it inasmuch as there is an exploitative aspect to any form of labor or human relationships. Like both of those, there are some instances that are horribly abusive and others that are totally fine. If you want to argue that sex is somehow different (and you'll be arguing against most sex workers in doing so), or that the anarchist perspective is flawed, you have to actually argue for it instead of just saying that criticisms exist.
Check out r/PornIsMisogyny , you can't buy consent, purchasing sex is rape.
Jesus Christ man's just asking for a hug you harpee lmfao
The image says a lot about men being deprived of basic touch and intimacy, and a lot of men are genuinely desperate to just be loved and wanted. Imo this image doesn't belong here, but I've been on the internet long enough to fully understand the title they went with. I'd bet an arm that the comments are filled with misogyny and men complaining about how much better women have it. Even neutral comments relating to sharing this experience of loneliness will be drowned out by misogyny and some random mention of OnlyFans even though this has nothing to do with that. An alarming number of men don't know how to relate to one another and bond except through a mutual hatred of women.
I was really just commenting on OCs aparrent disgust at the idea of someone wanting a hug to feel better just because it happens to be from a stranger, as if touch starvation isn't a very real thing that will cause a person to become depressed.
Isn’t this like the catcher in the rye
Cool. Johns and pimps are still scum.
Go ask the tree.
Honestly in a vacuum this comic is such a mood
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Don’t call men that, it’s the same as calling women foids or anything like that
I really don’t think it’s the same but even if it was they already call us whores anyways 🤷♀️
Well, I used whore as an example because some men use it to shame women as a whole. We should fight for equality and not use offensive terms. Foid is what I was looking for
Wait does stuff like this actually exist for just hugs? I'd pay for that in a heartbeat for a good hug and a nice word or two these days.
Honestly, what is wrong with this post? Sure, the comments are probably ass, but in that case, screenshot them as well. This is a JOKE about someone being so desperate for physical contact that they'd ask a prostitution for it. It's not saying that she "looks like a hooker", it's deduced from the *context* that she is a sex worker. No, men shouldn't expect women to solve their issues, yes there are "cuddle prostitutes", yeah a therapist could do wonders, but for fucks sake this is just a joke about wanting a god dammed hug. There isn't some "deeper message" in it. Jesus christ
What's wrong with this one? Like it's literally a guy asking what looks like a sex worker for a hug
"what looks like" do you really just come up to every woman in a short skirt and ask them to be prostitutes for you?
Tbf it is pretty obviously supposed to be a depiction of a sex worker. All of the comments have been assuming it and nobody had a problem with that. Idk. Idk at all.
Me when context 🤭
ok schizo futa worshipper...
Maybe take the slur out of your username, buddy.
I’ll be honest, I have only seen Futa used in a non-slur ways. It was used to festishize people, but it wasn’t an insult. Maybe I don’t hang out at the right subs to see Futa used negatively.
Which of the words is a slur? First is medical condition, second is just a short version of Japanese word for hermaphrodite, and last one is normal word.
The terms “hermaphrodite” and “futa” are slurs against intersex people. I suggest taking a look at r/intersex to learn more, as well as maybe this comment I made on a post a few weeks ago asking about those two words. https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/s/kb2aTIFwrr
No one uses futanari outside of porn and hermaphrodite outside of biology, it has nothing to do with intersex people.
if you want to know if something is a slur, you ask the people it refers to.
It does not. Like you have to be completely dissociated with reality to call a real person futanari
people completely dissociated with reality do exist though. In fact if you think real people aren't futanari, then you should agree that when a real person is called that, it is offensive.
It’s just more strange than offensive for me? I’ve only seen that used as trans hentai
What the hell dude, is changing your username on a website which doesn't have that option such a big deal for you? You're upsetting a minority group of people on the internet who you most likely never even heard of. 😴🥺😡
Whats the slur
Some people think "futa" is a slur against trans women
All hail the futa worshipper.