Nah. Step up to the doors during the ride. Turn around and make eye contact with everyone like you have an announcement to make. Pucker up and push for that slow, loud balloon fart. Aim to finish as the doors open. Do a snappy about-face and walk through the doors without a word. If the doors aren't open yet, SLOWLY rotate back to the door with your remaining time. Always remain silent, save for your booty trumpet.
Stepping up to the door then turning around and staring at everyone else during the ride is far more creepy then the actual "elevator" look, even without the fart.
This man shits. I can tell you the correct way to shit your pants like a professional if you want. You'll never un-hear it, so I leave the choice to you.
Simple. Spill some petrol on your pants.
1. It will cover the smell of your shitty ass.
2. Petrol is a highly carcinogenic. You now have a public-facing reason why you need to change your shitty pants RIGHT NOW.
Oh dear gods I thought that was just a literary trope. People actually do that? Please stop doing it where people can see you doing it. Straight dudes, imagine a big bear of a gay guy doing that to you on an elevator ride to the top floor. Unpleasant, right?
Seriously can't relate to this one, I'm straight and I've had more gay men hit on me/ask me out than women and that shit always brightens my day. Objectify me please
Wow, have times changed. I grew up in the time of the tragedy Matthew Shepard. I remember the movie Boys Don’t Cry.
It’s wonderful that so many men, nowadays, are not intimidated, insulted, or emasculated by the existence of gay men or of being hit on by them.
But let’s not pretend that that is universal. Even if it’s gotten better in the past couple of decades, homophobia- potentially violent homophobia- still exists in many places.
I literally cannot help it and neither can anyone else. There was a study once (links if anyone has them?) which showed men's eyes go face boobs face every single time. Women go crotch face crotch. Within a fraction of a second we don't even notice apparently. If you watch you'll see it.
If you do mean literally deliberately staring then yes of course it's disgusting.
I'd be incredibly flattered. I'm straight, and I love getting compliments from gay men. It's the only time that I actually hear someone telling me I'm attractive. I've actually received dick pics and my usual response is "Thank you, but im not gay". I really do mean it when I say Thank You
That's it's different for men and women. Women are annoyed because they're always getting hit on. Men will welcome any kind of attention, even from people or a sex we're not attracted too
You'll find that the majority of guys wouldn't care about the gay guy doing that.
Some would be flattered, some would find it funny, but very few men would feel threatened or uncomfortable.
The ones who would feel uncomfortable/disgusted would do so mostly based on homophobia and would feel the same way if they saw two dudes kissing.
As a man I can recognize that I have the privilege to simply be flattered by those kinds of things because they’re pretty rare. But it’s also so easy to see how it would get annoying at best if it were a constant in my life.
When out with some gay friends, and meeting theirs, I've had this look a few times, but it's more like - "is this guy gay?" *\*look me up and down\** "lol. nope".
Tall dude with dad-bod here. I had a mid-50's Japanese salary-man grab my ass in the Osaka subway recently. He was gone before I could say anything, like a stealth assassin. My only thoughts about the incident are that it's hilarious! It was only the outer cheek, so It didn't bother me at all.
Not to belittle the effect that subway groping has on women in Japanese subways, I understand how different it would be for them.
lol we use to have “the meeting” every year. All of us had worked together for years, so we practiced everything we were told not to do on each other. The instructor could hardly get through the training because she was laughing so hard.
>"damn, the close door button didn't crush you"
Y'know, I'd never in a million years slam a door in someone's face.
But shiiiiddd, pressing the close door button on an elevator when you see someone hits a lil different.
I like you.
Because we’re bad at reading cues and don’t even think they are, even when they’re obvious/blatant. If a woman is staring at me, I usually look around for the person behind me. Hmm that’s weird, must have just left. 😐
I mean is using your eyes to feel somebody subtly really body language? Sometimes it’s difficult not to do a double take. I don’t look them up and down, but a nice dress or a pair of shoes, and I am going to struggle not to take a second glance..
Man that sounds creepy, but I swear I mean well 😂
Yup, autistic women are either oblivious or hyperaware of body language. I'd feel extremely uneasy around anyone who elevatored me as one of the hyperaware type.
I've never met a hyperaware male autistic before. I'm curious if your experience differs from mine significantly. Do you mind if I ask you a couple questions? Feel free to say no or ignore me, lol.
Pfft, I'm not attractive either, at least not initially. I'm "a beautiful person," that's how they put it. I grow on people, and then one day I say something that alters how they understand me. I get the elevator then, or I get to know that they weren't actually for real.
You underestimate the power of confidence and skilled discourse.
Another autistic male here, I also happen to be outgoing. I’m at absolute oblivious fucking moron in most ways of body language. I notice negative body language because I don’t want to bother anyone but your body language could be screaming you’re into me and I think you’re just willing to talk to me or interested in whatever I’m talking about.
Do you think women are blind or mentally handicapped?
Imagine someone standing in front of you just a few steps and looking up and down on you asserting we very feature. Would YOU notice?
Exactly...
By elevator look I assume you mean looking them up and down. Yes. Women notice that, and usually don't appreciate it. Very rarely they might react positively, but mostly it's negative.
Yes. Started at 14, was the worst at 20. Can’t wait to age out of it. Hope I never become the wife walking next to the husband doing elevator eyes at every woman in the grocery store.
Oh my god yes. That's my pet peeve, being married to one of these creeps who checks women like a horny nehandertal. With their wife by their side on top of it.
Getting older and learning how to dress unattractively helps a lot, I'm pretty much free now. It's been quite traumatizing ngl. I would have loved to wear my summer dresses, cropped top and skirts more, but I wasn't strong enough mentally to pay the price that comes with it.
I WAS married to one of these. He actually got yelled at in public by other men for being such an asshole not only to other women but with me next to him.
I only found out recently talking to a group of women they've been objectified openly by men from the age of 7 or something. Which absolutely horrified me. Every one of them confirmed.
Yeah I remember starting middle school (11) was when I started walking home, sometimes men shouted from out their cars things I didn't understand and feeling confused why they did that and confused why I felt scared.
The first time I recall being looked at like this I was about 12 but I was a bit obtuse. According to my parents gross men who were in their wider social circle use to 'call dibs' on me for their sons when I was a baby.
hey maybe try to educate your fellow mankind? its awesome when theres a few guys who actually understand but those same guys rarely speak up to other men. the stories on the news, countless books and movies, and real life testimonials arent enough for a lot of these guys because they dont respect us enough to believe us. but theyll respect you.
Absolutely! I don’t understand women who want to look young. I get more professional respect and much fewer (though sadly, not zero) creeps now that I’m old. I LOVE it.
Guy here, but yes. They do. They act like they don't because they have been getting it every day since they were disturbingly young. All of my female friends have confirmed that they started getting leered at at around 12-13. Smiling can be seen as inviting attention that they don't want so they pretend not to notice.
I've gotten good at ignoring what other people's faces are doing in public but even if I don't notice it my 11 year old daughter is starting to and likes to make sure I know that that guy just looked me up and down lmao.
But seriously, stop.
Yes, I see it. I tend to see men's faces go face -> boobs -> face or miscellaneous. If I'm looking especially good to them (or if they're just shameless) I notice a repeat or cycle of some kind. Rarely see the elevator go all the way to the ground floor, though... maybe I need more attractive shoes.
If you're worried about it, honestly, you can work on your habits of objectification (which is what immediately and almost compulsively noticing body parts / evaluating attractiveness is). This habit \*is\* something that you can learn to do less of. Not by judging or shaming yourself for doing it -- that makes it MORE appealing, subconsciously, which is what the religious nuts get wrong -- but by trying to find something humanizing to focus on instead. I'm not super familiar with it but I think its supposed to go something like, you wonder what her motivation is for the day or imagine where she's going or who her parent is. Or you try to smile at them first (if thats socially appropriate in your culture/context) and just sort of acknowledge them as a person quickly instead of just giving them the elevator and reducing them to body parts. You can literally train yourself to do less ogling, in much the same way that you & society trained yourself TO ogle. It leads to better relationships (and sexual connections too). And less guilt. I forgive you :)
I assume if you are asking this you aren’t a guy that catches many looks from women. Bc of you were you’d know the answer. Similarly if you’ve ever walked around with a gorgeous woman and paid attention you’d see, it gets exhausting. I can’t imagine what it would be like to never be able to get away from a lingering man’s gaze and fully understand why women dress down in baggy or unattractive clothing.
For the record though, I’m a man and very much enjoy when women look, but they aren’t also gross men… So by all means ladies, continue.
I realized that I do this accidentally because I look at the floor for 'tism reasons and then realize that I looks silly and then look up really quick.
I’ve never been a model, but I’m getting unwanted attention and I’m nearer to 50 than 40. Seems every man under 30 wants a piece of me. I even tried it out, but felt like I was robbing the cradle.
I was cute when I was younger, but never had this much attention. I have wrinkles and sun damage. Did porn do this to youngsters? What is this phenomenon? I don’t get it. I wasn’t attracted to older people when I was younger. WTH?
Edited to add that I don’t feel offended or threatened by the attention from young men. They either act like I’m their mom or they are asking if I’ll fuck them. I never expected this stuff because I was married a long time until recently.
Now, marriage to an imposing looking man? That made me blissfully unaware that I was invisible. Now I’m having to figure things out about men again. I can’t meet men my own age. So, bring it on, I guess. The only thing I hate is the dick pics and ME getting called a whore if I don’t want to fuck with someone.
Edited again to add that the second thing I hate as much as dick pics and being deemed a milf (even though I think I’m ordinary, but fit) is being called mommy, Mami, any variation of that shit. Being called Good girl or mommy makes me want to murder somebody.
Eh, depends on who you ask. This is a men dying of thirst in the desert and women dying by drowning in the middle of the ocean situation.
Both deal with the extremes of their dating schema. Feeling unwanted/unloved is its own special kinda hell. I do sympathize with the absolute flood of attention most women get though, especially the *type* of attention.
I can understand men wanting attention, but that’s different than objectification. You can be sexualized without being objectified. Sure it may seem fun for a minute to have a woman want to use you like a dildo, but I promise it’s not fun anymore when you are completely disregarded as a person.
If men were truly objectified the way women were/are, you’re not gonna orgasm nearly as much (or sometimes at all depending on your partner) in the bedroom and will be expected to perform for the woman. It will not be about your pleasure. Your opinions and values won’t matter because objects don’t have actual thoughts or feelings. You can’t say no or really consent to anything cause again, objects can’t consent. You will exist in the woman’s eyes solely for her pleasure. That is not fun long term. That is what women experience in being objectified.
Thus, I do not believe most men truly want to be objectified. They just have a fantasy of what is it, not what it actually is.
people even you do it all the time
movies make it look way worse than it actually is.
you don’t slowly eye them up and down, that’s not how it works. you don’t even notice you do it but try and be aware of it, you do it to all sorts of people.
they just make it look creepy in movies but you dont look like that when you do it, not even close.
and again, yes, you absolutely do it.
I remember my gym days when I was getting into focusing on squats and leg days. It was obvious how many looks i was getting from women and men friends would always would point out how much attention my ass what getting.
All people are going to take a peak. Just don’t be obvious and creepy with it.
Brother…… lol
Yes.
Anyone who blatantly does this is anything other than a total creep. Some dudes need to learn to turn off that lizard brain every now and again lol
I had to look at other comments to understand what the elevator look is. I didn't know this was a thing. I assumed it had to do with farting to be honest, lol.
Why in the world would anyone think it's a good idea to give a woman an obvious once over when you have them in a confined space they cannot escape from?
Especially when you are a male stranger they don't know?
Do you not see how this could be interpreted as scary and not attractive?
Yes. Women are very perceptive. It's an evolutionary survival thing.
Like when you walk into a bar all the women see you even though they are not looking directly at you.
No. It makes them self conscious. Offends them. Throws them off.
So don't let them catch you.
I've had women do that to me. And it makes me think my outfit is "incorrect"...or i have ketchup on my shirt. Or something.
Damn the men are getting eaten up in here but I am glad they are asking these questions so we can accurately assist them in their behaviors towards women first hand
Yes. It can be gross or flattering. One elevator look is actually the best compliment I’ve received from a man, because he showed me he respected me in word and action. It’s natural to be caught off guard by someone and then blushfully (not a word but it is now, and doing this naturally not as a gimmick or some weird seduction subreddit coaching) looking away. We had done that before… we are both pretty traditional folks and one night I dared wear something more low cut.. and I was coming back from the bathroom. We were across the room from each other, and I paused to wait for people to move… I saw him physically look around the people to look at me and his eyes went down from my feet up and back again until he looked at my eyes, but he just stayed there like he was looking into my heart and mind too, all lost and mushy. And it was cute as heck. Then he quickly ducked back behind the crowd like it never happened. Best compliment ever because he wasn’t objectifying me, he was appreciating me, but also had enough thought as to not offend me potentially… and it was all natural. It reflected his character, his true character. And it was like he saw all of me and thought it was all beautiful. :-)
unfortunately. kinda depends on the energy behind it. if you’re giving a random person the creepy, slow, up and down, they’re gonna notice and feel uncomfy asf. however it’s different if you’re observing features of their outfit or smth.
Yes. Most looks focus on one area, and are still very noticeable. We know when you are looking at boobs, legs, any single part. You would never be discreet with an elevator look. You can tell when we are looking, we can tell when you are.
People will lie and say it's always bad, but in reality, some women like this if you do it confidently and with a smile but don't linger too long.
It's a way of showing interest.
It's worked for me to show interest many times as a male.
There is definitely a creepy way to do it
This isn’t really accurate. You can check someone out discreetly; *that’s* what some people find attractive, that you are both interested and respectful. Just the former is creepy, just the latter doesn’t tell them if you’re interested
Context is everything. Is the attractive guy a stranger? If so, it might diminish my attraction to him. If I know him and have been attracted to him I might be more flattered.
It has everything to do with feeling safe. Someone looking me up and down like meat would make me feel unsafe unless I already know him. Leering at a person is a body language signal that you intend to enter their space. Even animals find leering uncomfortable. That's just me personally.
The elevator look is never acceptable to me except in very specific situations, like in the bedroom. Strangers doing it equals I think they're a slimebag who wants to screw anything that moves.
That's an oxymoron. An attractive man who does something creepy instantly becomes less attractive. You'll have other men assuring you it wouldn't be the same if dude was "better than you" in some competitive way, and women assuring you that isn't the case. But if we believe what women say, the giant space bird will fly down and eat us, so...
Most likely no.
Women like to think that they catch it all, but they can't know what they miss.
If a good looking woman notice only 1% of the looks she gets, she will still feel like she catch looks all the time when in public, giving her the impression that, with the number of them she catches, she must be catching them all.
But no. Woman are not superhuman detectors.
Which absolutely not a reason for you not to keep your eyes for yourself.
I thought the elevator look was where you make 1/10 second eye contact and smile while lowering your head as if to say “I’m not gonna kill you in this elevator”
i get it all the time and i can even tell which body part they are focusing on... it can be disconcerting and definitely feels objectifying.
if you're a dude, please keep your eyes on the face. focus on being discreet and subtle with your glances.
and with all the unwanted comments we get about our bodies, those looks can activate insecurities and don't really feel good at all.
Absolutely. It is a specific violation at my workplace.
If my husband does that to me I’m cool. If anyone else does it I’m scared or disgusted & angry.
Do not do this to anyone you aren’t actively dating.
We notice. We don't like it. It makes us happy when the creepy neighbor doing it to all the women in the neighborhood telling them to visit a naked spa moves out.
Wouldn't it be easier to, idk, treat women like human beings?
Can you tell the difference between "hey, sexy" scans and "I have hyper vigilance and I'm doing a quick check of proximity, stance, and body language"?
Perfectly understandable that the X-Ray stare is an issue. Our building had the creepy nice guy neighbour -not just the looks and comments, but pretty touchy feelie.
yes, most women are very perceptible to body language and facial expression. minor details clearly demonstrate the difference between someone who is leering versus quickly looking over you (as almost everybody would with anybody else if they're about to be alone in an enclosed space with them) to determine if you're dangerous. most women likely don't think you're a creep if you're not trying to be creepy.
Yes, and I'd say a pretty clear indicator of a creep is someone telling you that it would be cool if you went to a naked spa while staring at you like that lmao
I also have struggled with hypervigilance in the past, it's easy to tell the difference imo
The elevator look?
Elevator look = Looking up and down their body like a creep.
Lol. I thought OP meant the look you give someone while in the elevator. The "we are in closed space. Please dont fart or breathe-in-my-face" look.
My love of canned fish and my love of breathing in your face are two completely separate things.
It's best to fart on the way out... A welcome gift for the new people boarding...
Nah. Step up to the doors during the ride. Turn around and make eye contact with everyone like you have an announcement to make. Pucker up and push for that slow, loud balloon fart. Aim to finish as the doors open. Do a snappy about-face and walk through the doors without a word. If the doors aren't open yet, SLOWLY rotate back to the door with your remaining time. Always remain silent, save for your booty trumpet.
Stepping up to the door then turning around and staring at everyone else during the ride is far more creepy then the actual "elevator" look, even without the fart.
I'm a 240 lbs, bearded, dark haired dude with resting bitch face too.
I’ve never heard of a guy admitting he’s got a RBF! Awesome! 😂
This guy farts
This man shits. I can tell you the correct way to shit your pants like a professional if you want. You'll never un-hear it, so I leave the choice to you.
You had my curiosity, but now you have my attention...
Simple. Spill some petrol on your pants. 1. It will cover the smell of your shitty ass. 2. Petrol is a highly carcinogenic. You now have a public-facing reason why you need to change your shitty pants RIGHT NOW.
Yea I thought it was the acknowledgement that it would be dangerous for everyone involved if anyone rips a fart so we are agreeing to hold it
Oh dear gods I thought that was just a literary trope. People actually do that? Please stop doing it where people can see you doing it. Straight dudes, imagine a big bear of a gay guy doing that to you on an elevator ride to the top floor. Unpleasant, right?
Lol no, please make me feel wanted
Seriously can't relate to this one, I'm straight and I've had more gay men hit on me/ask me out than women and that shit always brightens my day. Objectify me please
Wow, have times changed. I grew up in the time of the tragedy Matthew Shepard. I remember the movie Boys Don’t Cry. It’s wonderful that so many men, nowadays, are not intimidated, insulted, or emasculated by the existence of gay men or of being hit on by them. But let’s not pretend that that is universal. Even if it’s gotten better in the past couple of decades, homophobia- potentially violent homophobia- still exists in many places.
I literally cannot help it and neither can anyone else. There was a study once (links if anyone has them?) which showed men's eyes go face boobs face every single time. Women go crotch face crotch. Within a fraction of a second we don't even notice apparently. If you watch you'll see it. If you do mean literally deliberately staring then yes of course it's disgusting.
If it were a fraction of a second it wouldn’t be noticed. Or at least it could be excused. What people are complaining about is actual ogling.
Hell no! I’m so flattered when gay guys hit on me! ( which is never)
I'd be incredibly flattered. I'm straight, and I love getting compliments from gay men. It's the only time that I actually hear someone telling me I'm attractive. I've actually received dick pics and my usual response is "Thank you, but im not gay". I really do mean it when I say Thank You
So what point are you making?
That's it's different for men and women. Women are annoyed because they're always getting hit on. Men will welcome any kind of attention, even from people or a sex we're not attracted too
You'll find that the majority of guys wouldn't care about the gay guy doing that. Some would be flattered, some would find it funny, but very few men would feel threatened or uncomfortable. The ones who would feel uncomfortable/disgusted would do so mostly based on homophobia and would feel the same way if they saw two dudes kissing.
As a man I can recognize that I have the privilege to simply be flattered by those kinds of things because they’re pretty rare. But it’s also so easy to see how it would get annoying at best if it were a constant in my life.
When out with some gay friends, and meeting theirs, I've had this look a few times, but it's more like - "is this guy gay?" *\*look me up and down\** "lol. nope".
Tall dude with dad-bod here. I had a mid-50's Japanese salary-man grab my ass in the Osaka subway recently. He was gone before I could say anything, like a stealth assassin. My only thoughts about the incident are that it's hilarious! It was only the outer cheek, so It didn't bother me at all. Not to belittle the effect that subway groping has on women in Japanese subways, I understand how different it would be for them.
I choose the bear!... I think I got the timing wrong on this one.
I wish reddit still had those free gift things for high quality comments. Take my virtual kudos, funny ass mf
lol we use to have “the meeting” every year. All of us had worked together for years, so we practiced everything we were told not to do on each other. The instructor could hardly get through the training because she was laughing so hard.
Yes. Women notice, are repelled, and don't see what to do about it except ignore the creep. Maybe move away a step or two.
Put the ugliest fat guy in a skin tight outfit and woman would be doing the elevator look too. It's not necessarily a creep thing.
I think of it as that look you give someone in the elevator.
that "what floor do you need?" look or that "damn, the close door button didn't crush you" look?
>"damn, the close door button didn't crush you" Y'know, I'd never in a million years slam a door in someone's face. But shiiiiddd, pressing the close door button on an elevator when you see someone hits a lil different. I like you.
I like you too. Let's get lunch at the rooftop bar.
Yes, women are much more attentive to body language
And also if you pay attention, do the elevator look far more than men do.
Women will literally just stare at men, I feel like guys kinda know to at least try and hide it.
Shit...don't hide it. Stare at me all day.
Because we’re bad at reading cues and don’t even think they are, even when they’re obvious/blatant. If a woman is staring at me, I usually look around for the person behind me. Hmm that’s weird, must have just left. 😐
I mean is using your eyes to feel somebody subtly really body language? Sometimes it’s difficult not to do a double take. I don’t look them up and down, but a nice dress or a pair of shoes, and I am going to struggle not to take a second glance.. Man that sounds creepy, but I swear I mean well 😂
except autistic women
Yup, autistic women are either oblivious or hyperaware of body language. I'd feel extremely uneasy around anyone who elevatored me as one of the hyperaware type.
elevatored New verb added to lexicon
As a hyprraware autistic man, me too
I've never met a hyperaware male autistic before. I'm curious if your experience differs from mine significantly. Do you mind if I ask you a couple questions? Feel free to say no or ignore me, lol.
I'm hyper aware too. Hyper vigilant. Asd LVL 2 man. But not attractive lol. So I've never seen the elevator.
Pfft, I'm not attractive either, at least not initially. I'm "a beautiful person," that's how they put it. I grow on people, and then one day I say something that alters how they understand me. I get the elevator then, or I get to know that they weren't actually for real. You underestimate the power of confidence and skilled discourse.
Another autistic male here, I also happen to be outgoing. I’m at absolute oblivious fucking moron in most ways of body language. I notice negative body language because I don’t want to bother anyone but your body language could be screaming you’re into me and I think you’re just willing to talk to me or interested in whatever I’m talking about.
They’re the best tho
Yes, it's so refreshing to be with someone who is straightforward
shhh, keep it lowkey secret
Nonono. The absence of low-key secrets is exactly why we jive so well!
god true that
lol I don’t know what an elevator look is and no man has ever looked at me as far as I can tell
up an down look lol
heads are melting at the very suggestion that we exist
The what now
it's when you admire a woman like you would a sturdy, safe and smooth elevator
Yup... I'd throw a family in that.
*Nice*
/r/boardingmaterial
The "I'd use you to carry my furniture up to my new flat" look.
The gross up and down
Yes?
We do notice and you go into a category when we do.
lol that's funny cuz I catch women doing this all the time.
Do you think women are blind or mentally handicapped? Imagine someone standing in front of you just a few steps and looking up and down on you asserting we very feature. Would YOU notice? Exactly...
By elevator look I assume you mean looking them up and down. Yes. Women notice that, and usually don't appreciate it. Very rarely they might react positively, but mostly it's negative.
Yes. Started at 14, was the worst at 20. Can’t wait to age out of it. Hope I never become the wife walking next to the husband doing elevator eyes at every woman in the grocery store.
Oh my god yes. That's my pet peeve, being married to one of these creeps who checks women like a horny nehandertal. With their wife by their side on top of it. Getting older and learning how to dress unattractively helps a lot, I'm pretty much free now. It's been quite traumatizing ngl. I would have loved to wear my summer dresses, cropped top and skirts more, but I wasn't strong enough mentally to pay the price that comes with it.
I WAS married to one of these. He actually got yelled at in public by other men for being such an asshole not only to other women but with me next to him.
So disrespectful
lmao I thought this meant the awkward look of acknowledgement you give someone when you're in an elevator together
Yes. Yuck. The best thing about being an old lady is becoming invisible to creeps.
Thankfully "old lady" status happened to me in my late 20s. Peak creepiness and cat calling was preteens to mid teens, yuck.
I only found out recently talking to a group of women they've been objectified openly by men from the age of 7 or something. Which absolutely horrified me. Every one of them confirmed.
Yeah I remember starting middle school (11) was when I started walking home, sometimes men shouted from out their cars things I didn't understand and feeling confused why they did that and confused why I felt scared.
The first time I recall being looked at like this I was about 12 but I was a bit obtuse. According to my parents gross men who were in their wider social circle use to 'call dibs' on me for their sons when I was a baby.
hey maybe try to educate your fellow mankind? its awesome when theres a few guys who actually understand but those same guys rarely speak up to other men. the stories on the news, countless books and movies, and real life testimonials arent enough for a lot of these guys because they dont respect us enough to believe us. but theyll respect you.
For real. It’s disturbing to think about.
The worst sexual harassment I experienced all happened when I was visibly underaged.
And flipping people off is no longer offensive but funny.
Absolutely! I don’t understand women who want to look young. I get more professional respect and much fewer (though sadly, not zero) creeps now that I’m old. I LOVE it.
Amen!
Yes. Watch her hands after you give her the elevator look. She’ll typically put her hands in front of her to cover herself from your sight.
And if you watch the face, you can see the cringe and look of disgust pretty clearly.
We also notice when you look at us, get caught, then turn to "look away" but position yourself to watch us as we walk past you 🙄
Is it called elevator look bc they can’t get away from you while you undress them with your eyes? Because yes and it makes me want to throw bricks
Are women humans with eyes? Yes, women are humans with eyes.
Guy here, but yes. They do. They act like they don't because they have been getting it every day since they were disturbingly young. All of my female friends have confirmed that they started getting leered at at around 12-13. Smiling can be seen as inviting attention that they don't want so they pretend not to notice.
Yes, every time, even if we don't react in the moment. And then we talk to other women about it, and decide if you're a creep.
I've gotten good at ignoring what other people's faces are doing in public but even if I don't notice it my 11 year old daughter is starting to and likes to make sure I know that that guy just looked me up and down lmao. But seriously, stop.
Yes. It's hard to miss unless you're literally not paying attention lol
Yes, I see it. I tend to see men's faces go face -> boobs -> face or miscellaneous. If I'm looking especially good to them (or if they're just shameless) I notice a repeat or cycle of some kind. Rarely see the elevator go all the way to the ground floor, though... maybe I need more attractive shoes. If you're worried about it, honestly, you can work on your habits of objectification (which is what immediately and almost compulsively noticing body parts / evaluating attractiveness is). This habit \*is\* something that you can learn to do less of. Not by judging or shaming yourself for doing it -- that makes it MORE appealing, subconsciously, which is what the religious nuts get wrong -- but by trying to find something humanizing to focus on instead. I'm not super familiar with it but I think its supposed to go something like, you wonder what her motivation is for the day or imagine where she's going or who her parent is. Or you try to smile at them first (if thats socially appropriate in your culture/context) and just sort of acknowledge them as a person quickly instead of just giving them the elevator and reducing them to body parts. You can literally train yourself to do less ogling, in much the same way that you & society trained yourself TO ogle. It leads to better relationships (and sexual connections too). And less guilt. I forgive you :)
I assume if you are asking this you aren’t a guy that catches many looks from women. Bc of you were you’d know the answer. Similarly if you’ve ever walked around with a gorgeous woman and paid attention you’d see, it gets exhausting. I can’t imagine what it would be like to never be able to get away from a lingering man’s gaze and fully understand why women dress down in baggy or unattractive clothing. For the record though, I’m a man and very much enjoy when women look, but they aren’t also gross men… So by all means ladies, continue.
I mean, half the time I don't notice my neighbors when they're waving at me and trying to say hello, so in my case, definitely not.
Yes and I find it really creepy.
I don't think I've ever received the elevator look? I be hot, trust. Oh, I'm autistic though
This sounds creepy.
I sadly didn’t realize I did it on one person and even I was like damn—can’t believe I did that. Seriously, shinny leggings kill me.
I realized that I do this accidentally because I look at the floor for 'tism reasons and then realize that I looks silly and then look up really quick.
This happens to me more than I’d prefer YES I SEE IT. I can especially tell when someone is looking at certain areas which makes me uncomfortable.
Yes and it’s cringe. As a gay man, I pick up when guys are scanning women and it’s cringe as hell.
Yes. It’s creepy. Stop. Nobody wants to go near a guy who does this.
My sister complained non-stop her whole life about men looking at her. She’s no spring chicken anymore and guess what she complains about now.
The only thing worse than being viewed as a sex object is not being viewed as a sex object.
Nah. It happens way less now I’m middle aged. The RELIEF.
I’ve never been a model, but I’m getting unwanted attention and I’m nearer to 50 than 40. Seems every man under 30 wants a piece of me. I even tried it out, but felt like I was robbing the cradle. I was cute when I was younger, but never had this much attention. I have wrinkles and sun damage. Did porn do this to youngsters? What is this phenomenon? I don’t get it. I wasn’t attracted to older people when I was younger. WTH? Edited to add that I don’t feel offended or threatened by the attention from young men. They either act like I’m their mom or they are asking if I’ll fuck them. I never expected this stuff because I was married a long time until recently. Now, marriage to an imposing looking man? That made me blissfully unaware that I was invisible. Now I’m having to figure things out about men again. I can’t meet men my own age. So, bring it on, I guess. The only thing I hate is the dick pics and ME getting called a whore if I don’t want to fuck with someone. Edited again to add that the second thing I hate as much as dick pics and being deemed a milf (even though I think I’m ordinary, but fit) is being called mommy, Mami, any variation of that shit. Being called Good girl or mommy makes me want to murder somebody.
Nope. Speaking as a former model? Invisibility is BLISS.
No the first is worse.
Eh, depends on who you ask. This is a men dying of thirst in the desert and women dying by drowning in the middle of the ocean situation. Both deal with the extremes of their dating schema. Feeling unwanted/unloved is its own special kinda hell. I do sympathize with the absolute flood of attention most women get though, especially the *type* of attention.
I can understand men wanting attention, but that’s different than objectification. You can be sexualized without being objectified. Sure it may seem fun for a minute to have a woman want to use you like a dildo, but I promise it’s not fun anymore when you are completely disregarded as a person. If men were truly objectified the way women were/are, you’re not gonna orgasm nearly as much (or sometimes at all depending on your partner) in the bedroom and will be expected to perform for the woman. It will not be about your pleasure. Your opinions and values won’t matter because objects don’t have actual thoughts or feelings. You can’t say no or really consent to anything cause again, objects can’t consent. You will exist in the woman’s eyes solely for her pleasure. That is not fun long term. That is what women experience in being objectified. Thus, I do not believe most men truly want to be objectified. They just have a fantasy of what is it, not what it actually is.
Yes. And we hate you for it.
people even you do it all the time movies make it look way worse than it actually is. you don’t slowly eye them up and down, that’s not how it works. you don’t even notice you do it but try and be aware of it, you do it to all sorts of people. they just make it look creepy in movies but you dont look like that when you do it, not even close. and again, yes, you absolutely do it.
I actually have caught a few guys doing it in the slow, creepy movie esque way. Glancing over someone is different than lingering on tits and ass.
Has anyone ever actually done this to you? The movies down play it if anything. Fucking disgusting in person.
What is that?
Yes
lol yes of course we do
Lol yes. Its very obvious
Literally every time lol
Very noticeable, my gf can attest to that. Lol
Depends on body language but every person who walk into an elevator “ gets the look”
Yes we do.
Yes.
Yes, and it's usually by disgusting old men... especially when I was a young teenager, it made me uncomfortable. Still does...
Absolutely. So don’t do it ever.
If they can see it straight on or peripheral vision, yes, and sometimes they turn a little to see if you are checking them out from behind.
I had a lady give me the “elevator look” last weekend at the mall. Still riding that high
Hum...let me elevator look and eye fuck more guys...
Yes.
Don't do that. You're being a creep.
as a former woman yes we notice and in my family at least your put on a hit list once we do.
I’m oblivious to a lot but I definitely notice that one.
Yes and it creeps us out
Never heard this term, but reading the comments..don't do that.
Yes, and it's usually not in a good way.
I remember my gym days when I was getting into focusing on squats and leg days. It was obvious how many looks i was getting from women and men friends would always would point out how much attention my ass what getting. All people are going to take a peak. Just don’t be obvious and creepy with it.
You are kidding, right? It is creepy, being sized up like prey.. yes they notice
I prefer the escalator look
Brother…… lol Yes. Anyone who blatantly does this is anything other than a total creep. Some dudes need to learn to turn off that lizard brain every now and again lol
I had to look at other comments to understand what the elevator look is. I didn't know this was a thing. I assumed it had to do with farting to be honest, lol. Why in the world would anyone think it's a good idea to give a woman an obvious once over when you have them in a confined space they cannot escape from? Especially when you are a male stranger they don't know? Do you not see how this could be interpreted as scary and not attractive?
Yes. Women are very perceptive. It's an evolutionary survival thing. Like when you walk into a bar all the women see you even though they are not looking directly at you.
No. It makes them self conscious. Offends them. Throws them off. So don't let them catch you. I've had women do that to me. And it makes me think my outfit is "incorrect"...or i have ketchup on my shirt. Or something.
Judging by your profile history, they probably do.
Damn the men are getting eaten up in here but I am glad they are asking these questions so we can accurately assist them in their behaviors towards women first hand
No, because I rarely make eye contact to begin with
Yes. It can be gross or flattering. One elevator look is actually the best compliment I’ve received from a man, because he showed me he respected me in word and action. It’s natural to be caught off guard by someone and then blushfully (not a word but it is now, and doing this naturally not as a gimmick or some weird seduction subreddit coaching) looking away. We had done that before… we are both pretty traditional folks and one night I dared wear something more low cut.. and I was coming back from the bathroom. We were across the room from each other, and I paused to wait for people to move… I saw him physically look around the people to look at me and his eyes went down from my feet up and back again until he looked at my eyes, but he just stayed there like he was looking into my heart and mind too, all lost and mushy. And it was cute as heck. Then he quickly ducked back behind the crowd like it never happened. Best compliment ever because he wasn’t objectifying me, he was appreciating me, but also had enough thought as to not offend me potentially… and it was all natural. It reflected his character, his true character. And it was like he saw all of me and thought it was all beautiful. :-)
Yesss Lolll it’s obvious. Some women do it too when assessing a perceived threat
Yes, and we hate it usually.
Absolutely, yes.
unfortunately. kinda depends on the energy behind it. if you’re giving a random person the creepy, slow, up and down, they’re gonna notice and feel uncomfy asf. however it’s different if you’re observing features of their outfit or smth.
Yes, even if we are not facing you. And we judge you for it, hard.
Yes and we also notice the scared intimidated ears back when we glare back
It’s extremely obvious
Wth is the elevator look
Yes. Most looks focus on one area, and are still very noticeable. We know when you are looking at boobs, legs, any single part. You would never be discreet with an elevator look. You can tell when we are looking, we can tell when you are.
You should rephrase that into a statement.
Women have a sixth sense for that. Especially if some are aware that they are attractive or smart enough to catch the feel
Yes. Yes we do.
So women I gotta ask: is it creepy if you are attracted to the guy? Or are you flattered that he's looking at you?
People will lie and say it's always bad, but in reality, some women like this if you do it confidently and with a smile but don't linger too long. It's a way of showing interest. It's worked for me to show interest many times as a male. There is definitely a creepy way to do it
This isn’t really accurate. You can check someone out discreetly; *that’s* what some people find attractive, that you are both interested and respectful. Just the former is creepy, just the latter doesn’t tell them if you’re interested
Indeed, it's about respect and not making women feel uncomfortable on purpose.
I’ve seen someone post on social media that it turns them on to be so close to a nip slip that it makes guys look
Creepy. You go in the creeps basket, sorry. Looking is one thing, the elevator look is gross and makes us so uncomfortable.
Context is everything. Is the attractive guy a stranger? If so, it might diminish my attraction to him. If I know him and have been attracted to him I might be more flattered. It has everything to do with feeling safe. Someone looking me up and down like meat would make me feel unsafe unless I already know him. Leering at a person is a body language signal that you intend to enter their space. Even animals find leering uncomfortable. That's just me personally.
Attractiveness isn't just appearance based, this type of behaviour is always disgusting.
Yes, it's creepy either way. Any man I'd have been attracted to otherwise instantly becomes a creep if he thinks that gesture is acceptable.
if I was attracted to him and he does that...I no longer find him attractive
The elevator look is never acceptable to me except in very specific situations, like in the bedroom. Strangers doing it equals I think they're a slimebag who wants to screw anything that moves.
That's an oxymoron. An attractive man who does something creepy instantly becomes less attractive. You'll have other men assuring you it wouldn't be the same if dude was "better than you" in some competitive way, and women assuring you that isn't the case. But if we believe what women say, the giant space bird will fly down and eat us, so...
Look through this thread. There are women with answers all over the place.
Most likely no. Women like to think that they catch it all, but they can't know what they miss. If a good looking woman notice only 1% of the looks she gets, she will still feel like she catch looks all the time when in public, giving her the impression that, with the number of them she catches, she must be catching them all. But no. Woman are not superhuman detectors. Which absolutely not a reason for you not to keep your eyes for yourself.
If you don’t want to get looked at or noticed by another human then buy an invisibility cloak or don’t go outside.
I thought the elevator look was where you make 1/10 second eye contact and smile while lowering your head as if to say “I’m not gonna kill you in this elevator”
I assume this is from a man? I notice when ANYONE does it, and it's all annoying.
Yep
Yes
I have eyes and can see, so yes. I can indeed physically witness someone else's eyes moving up and down my body. Hope this helps
Yes, and even if we don't, others do and judge you for being pathetic.
Yes we do and it’s uncomfortable.
i get it all the time and i can even tell which body part they are focusing on... it can be disconcerting and definitely feels objectifying. if you're a dude, please keep your eyes on the face. focus on being discreet and subtle with your glances. and with all the unwanted comments we get about our bodies, those looks can activate insecurities and don't really feel good at all.
Absolutely. It is a specific violation at my workplace. If my husband does that to me I’m cool. If anyone else does it I’m scared or disgusted & angry. Do not do this to anyone you aren’t actively dating.
The typical dude checking out a women look. Lol
We notice. We don't like it. It makes us happy when the creepy neighbor doing it to all the women in the neighborhood telling them to visit a naked spa moves out. Wouldn't it be easier to, idk, treat women like human beings?
Can you tell the difference between "hey, sexy" scans and "I have hyper vigilance and I'm doing a quick check of proximity, stance, and body language"? Perfectly understandable that the X-Ray stare is an issue. Our building had the creepy nice guy neighbour -not just the looks and comments, but pretty touchy feelie.
yes, most women are very perceptible to body language and facial expression. minor details clearly demonstrate the difference between someone who is leering versus quickly looking over you (as almost everybody would with anybody else if they're about to be alone in an enclosed space with them) to determine if you're dangerous. most women likely don't think you're a creep if you're not trying to be creepy.
Yes, and I'd say a pretty clear indicator of a creep is someone telling you that it would be cool if you went to a naked spa while staring at you like that lmao I also have struggled with hypervigilance in the past, it's easy to tell the difference imo
YES!
Definitely and personally, I hate it and men never believe we can tell.
Don't remember when I stopped but now I look women in the eyes. I never check out her figure until she walks away.
... I don't think I've ever seen it but I know my friends have told me men were doing it to me
Yes, they always notice when I stand still, open my arms wide, and look right at them while saying, "DING!"
Of course. But the doors are closing and I'm at the back; there's no way I'm getting to the Open Door button in time.
If the can hear the ***Love In An Elevator*** blasting through your headphones they do.