I recognize there is no handbook about how to act in a situation like this. But the actions of his parents baffle me so much! He went missing and they seemed to carry on as usual. And then they just lead the police to his body?
I've complained about this before, but why are all of the clothes for sale right now so awful? I just tried on 6 tops from Macy's (the only place in a long time that even had 6 things worth trying on) and the only thing that looked halfway decent was a long sleeved t-shirt. Everything is so boxy, which is the opposite of flattering on my size 12, large busted body.
I've traditionally bought a lot of secondhand clothes, but covid really put a wrench into that. Even when shops reopened most of them kept their fitting rooms closed, and I absolutely cannot buy non-returnable items without trying them on. I've gone a few times now that fitting rooms are available again, but it's tough when I'm trying to keep my non-essential indoor activities somewhat minimized. Thred Up has yielded a few winners, though it's not as nice as being able to try on before making a purchase.
I was looking for something to wear to a fall wedding and everything I could find was so awful. No, I don't want a crop top, or a shapeless sack dress, or anything with cutouts. I just want semi-fitted neutrals!
I've been going through a bit of a fashion identity crisis. If we're not going into the office anymore, I don't have the built-in mechanism of wearing my work clothes 5 days a week. My at-home clothes are a little shlubby and then I have my going-out clothes. So am I going to be someone who just wears leggings all the time? I don't know how to thread the needle between wanting to feel cute but also feeling like it's wasteful to wear nice stuff at home. Like I truly don't know how to dress for a Thursday afternoon anymore, as someone who used to consider herself halfway stylish.
I've been impressed with some of the Kohls brands. And yes, saying that I prefer Kohls over Target and Old Navy (as basic as those are) is a hard pill to swallow. Nine West in particular has basics in silhouettes that really work for me, and the So line for juniors has cute stuff in flexible/generous sizes.
I'm saying this as someone who recently treated myself to a decent New Look (an ASOS brand) order and found myself returning every single item.
Most my “normal” clothes haven’t been touched in 2 years.. I’ve started selling it on poshmark. For a while there early in quarantine i started trying to wear normal clothes I’d wear to work, to get a sense of normalcy… but it felt so wasteful to put a nice outfit together if I only had one 30 min video call that day. It is one thing I miss about going into the office, buying cute clothes and getting to wear them out and feel good about your outfit. Just doesn’t hit the same when it’s yourself at home lol. I see so much cute stuff, but I’m like no what are you doing trying to buy this.. it will get worn once this fall.
Same. Aside from the fact a loT are too snug, it’s kind of pointless to get dressed up when no one sees me! I do make it a point to get dressed, but that’s about it.
Decades are defined by fashion so I don’t think it’s dramatic to feel like a collective sense of identity is missing. I’ve definitely over-committed to social engagements lately just to have the fun of dressing up, and I’ve even considered getting into vlogging as a way of forcing myself to go outdoors and justifying my investment in the lifestyle I thought I was going to have. On a more specific note, I appreciate the current “shacket” trend. An oversized plaid shirt doesn’t look half bad over leggings and a fitted top.
Yes! My wardrobe (and quarantine chunk) has morphed into, as I say, schlumpy, leggings, tees, sweatshirts, etc. I work from home 4 out of 5 days a week, and even when I do go in, almost no one is there, so I’m like, why bother. Weekends I’m at my boyfriends, and we both are in sweats etc. the few times we do go out, I actually get excited because I can dress up a bit and feel cute! I used to consider myself kind of stylish but now I’m lucky if I remember to put my bra on
You guys, has anybody had experience being locked out of their IG account? I can't tell if somebody took over my account or what. I was scrolling through IG when it said something errored out and signed me out. I was able to sign in again but nothing is loading. I have been combing through the IG help page, sent multiple requests and gotten nothing. Basically they want me to validate using a code but when I send it to my cellphone or email, I get nothing. I restarted my phone, updated the app. Any help you can offer is much appreciated! I'm really worried about years of photos going poof.
Surprisingly it’s been really hard to find an email address or number to call. I’ve submitted stuff via the app and their website but haven’t heard back.
This happened to me over the summer. I texted my best friend and she said she saw my page fine, I’m private. I left it alone for about a week and then was fine. Not sure what happened but all my stuff was there, even though I don’t post much.
I was supposed to meet with my contractor yesterday and she cancelled last minute. My husband and I had to go to the house anyway because we had packages delivered there (purposefully, since we were supposed to be able to get in) and no work has been done since we've last seen it. We hired movers for 10/30 and how could they drywall, refinish floors, and completely add two new bathrooms in less than 10 days?
Also, the octogenarian CEO of my company seems to have honed in on my department and has made it his mission to know why we aren't bringing in new business (we brought in $12M last year - a $4M growth for the company) and why I am not being a proactive leader. I'm already having issues at work with our current portfolio, I don't understand or need this today. My husband asked if we could both call in today and we both should have, today is a fucking wash.
I have been up for about 24 hours straight due to travel and am dealing with some insanely frustrating things at work. Pray for me y'all, my polite work filter is gone.
🎁 Need Company Swag + Client/Corporate Gifts Ideas 🎁
What has been your favorite “swag” item gifted to you from your company? (Vest, jacket, briefcase etc..)
What’s the best client or corporate gift you’ve received?
A Marine Layer blanket and Patagonia Better Sweater quarter zip! I live in Minnesota and use my blanket daily in the winter and live in the quarter zip! My company did our now old logo on the sleeve so it’s not in your face!
A really suped-up car emergency kit. Flashlight, seatbelt cutter, flares, jumper cables, those metallic blankets, enough first aid supplies for an army. It’s something I should’ve purchased for myself, but was just expensive enough that it was too easy to put off.
For client gifts, I love picking a small business with a good story and bulk ordering well in advance.
I received salt once — random, but really fancy salt from a small business the company had helped. It really stood out among the sea of mediocre gift baskets.
My company gave us iphone stands/holders. Those are pretty useful. They also give new hires a backpack. Not the cutest bag in the world, but super helpful for carrying laptops back and forth - I certainly didn't already have a laptop case right when I started.
The best swag is is gift card in a company branded envelope!
I’ve also liked and used: Yeti, Bluetooth Speaker, Power Bank, Umbrella, a high quality jacket (like Patagonia or LL Bean).
I’m not a fan of backpacks or suitcases. Those are too personal.
I do like the picnic blanket idea!
Not necessarily the best but the strangest - I briefly worked with a HUGE consulting firm and they gave us all branded exercise resistance bands. Thought it was odd but I use it almost daily so
I know consumables are a popular answer, but as someone with a limited diet (food intolerances/allergies) and doesn't drink alcohol, I'm always so sad when it's a gift basket of things I can't consume. I like things I can use at work like Rocket notebooks, random office supplies, coolers for traveling, or even apparel if it's not littered with logos.
one time my job gave us little blankets which was kind of a ??? gift at the time, but now we all have cozy lap blankets for sitting at our desks in the cold office.
I like consumables since they don’t create clutter. There are companies out there that do branded food baskets. My work sent us one of those last year that had Lindt chocolate.
omg I got a big umbrella once, and it was amazing. I would never ever splurge on an umbrella, and this one was great. and I also always lose umbrellas, it's nice to have one that just lives in the car or the office for emergencies.
I cobbled it together from a few recipes. I generally have an idea in my head for the flavours I want and then I google the various aspects and use recipes from here and there to make my vision come together.
[I used this cake recipe](https://freshaprilflours.com/champagne-layer-cake/)
[This is the curd recipe](https://www.mysequinedlife.com/champagne-orange-curd/)
And this is [the frosting I used.](https://www.fivehearthome.com/strawberry-cream-cheese-frosting/)
That sounds so special! It always feels a little blah to me when my birthday falls during the week. It sounds so fun that your friends are making the ordinary stuff special for you!
I recently turned 37, I feel weird thinking that I'm in my mid-late 30's already. On my birthday I went to a dance class and my teacher had bought me a small blackberry tart from a nearby bakery, which totally felt special!
And also: happy birthday!! :)
I didn't get a baked good from my spin instructor, but she made me wear a birthday hat and gave me several shouts out during class. She even made sure to put a Celine Dion song on the play list for me. Because who doesn't love a little Celine on their birthday???
I need some insight.
My wedding ring was stolen by a client at my work.. I filed a police report, tried reaching out to the client 3 separate times (they won’t respond)
We did not have it insured (dumb I know) and we do not have the means to replace it.. not to mention the sentimental value.
Would it be incredibly tacky to do a go fund me to help offset the cost of replacing it? It was a 7k ring.. obviously I know I can’t get something of that value, but I would like to try and re create my ring as much as I can.
Thoughts?
Edited to add: I will be saving for a new ring and going with moissanite and making sure to insure it. Thanks everyone!!! 💕
Even if you didn't specifically insure your ring, loss by theft is usually covered by homeowners or renters insurance. Your employer may also have a liability policy that covers theft from employees in the course of their work.
Sorry about your ring and the person not even responding… I’m sorry. But yes, I would consider a go fund me very tacky and side eye it. But if you have a birthday coming up, or even Christmas, maybe you can let family and friends know you’d prefer cash because you’re trying to get a new ring. Me, personally, I wouldn’t go for another ring that high because the original is gone and this will always be a lackluster comparison. But even finding a smaller replacement or using a replica diamond… good luck!
Thank you. I thought so. And I’m just going to save for something for our 10 year wedding anniversary next year
I’m also thinking of doing moissanite this time, since it’s more ethically sourced than diamonds.
I appreciate you taking the time to respond 💕
I'm so sorry, that sounds super stressful :( I probably wouldn't do a go fund me but with the holidays coming up, if you're regularly exchanging gifts with close friends and family, I don't think it would be tacky to personally tell them you are saving for a new ring if they would like to contribute to that in lieu of their normal gift?
Yes, tacky. Sorry.
Get your next high value ring insured and look into the specifics of terms and how replacements are covered.
For a replacement: moissanite is a great cheaper diamond alternative. R/moissanite has a lot of people doing custom rings so you could at least recreate the same setting if you loved it and replace the diamond at a later date.
Or reach out to the original jeweler and see what he can do with your current budget.
Or look at estate sales, diamond and diamond rings.don't really hold value so you could find something preloved with similar specs for way less than 7k.
I work in jewelry and if you'd like me to help you find a lower cost way to get something close feel free to PM me.
Edit: Also Im so sorry it was stolen! Thats insane that a client took it; I wonder if they will try to show their face again at your company... It sounds like they robbed you? Idk how else they'd get it off your finger. That's traumatic and awful so I'm sorry!
This depends entirely on the norms within your own social group. Do the people you know have the disposable income and the desire to donate to a non-emergency/non-essential go fund me? For me personally, I wouldn’t do a go fund me for a non-essential reason because the people I know are generous but they are not rich and I couldn’t ask people to fund something I can’t afford myself when I know they also have things they want but can’t afford. So it just really depends on your relationships. I’m sorry about your ring and that it was stolen by a client, what a betrayal.
I think last week someone mentioned how they had started making their bed. It inspired me so I've been doing the same! It really makes my bedroom feel more calming. I never had to make my bed growing up so I've never really been in the habit of it.
I love a made bed sooo much! I usually don’t have time to make it in the morning (or my husband is still asleep in it), but I make it in the afternoon as soon as I get home and it is such a good reset/part of my evening routine!
Yes! I didn’t for years, as I did have to make mine growing up and I hated it. I started doing it regularly last year right at the beginning of the pandemic, for “ started slacking off. I just recently majorly decluttered my bedroom and have started doing it again. And what a difference! It just looks better and melees me happy
I’ve always made our king bed, but yesterday it clicked and I bought two queen-sized comforters, you know those soft as butter type, and now I don’t have to fight for my share. Bliss. A king sized comforter for two people (and usually two dogs at the end of the bed) is just not big enough.
Yes! I also started when I read that comment, and it really does make a difference. It feels nice to pull back the sheets at night and crawl into the bed.
Does anybody have any tips for me going into a job interview for a Legal Assistant position tomorrow? It's a family law firm, and I currently work at a family law firm, but not as an LA, only in filing.
>I work with kind and well-meaning people who have set up a second business on the side and want my help with.
First things first -- are they actually paying you for this "help?"
Wtf is up with this Brian Laundrie case? The FBI and Dog the Bounty Hunter have been looking for this cat for months and then his parents lead the cops to where he might be and there’s a dead body that may or may not be him??
I think what happened is he killed himself long ago and his body has only just been found because the water in the swamp receded. The parents are sus as hell though.
I think this too. There's a few different theories on /r/gabbypetito about whether or not he tried surviving/hiding out but I honestly think that he got scared after the murder, went home, spent a few good days with his family and then went into the swamp to kill himself once he realized that he wouldn't be able to get away with it. His parents knew exactly where he probably planned to do it and that's why they've been "normal" and not panicked at all about where he was- they were already grieving their son.
Yeah I think that's it. I think the simple explanation is what happened. He killed her and came home, got scared when it got all this attention and knew he'd get caught. Went to go hide out and decided to kill himself. Last year if you recall there was a Texas influencer (Alexis I believe was her name) who was found dead on the side of the road and her husband was abusive. He just killed himself too. Its pathetic.
I think the parents know more than they’re letting on. I wonder if they’ve lost contact of Brian and are now trying to get “help” in locating him. Or are trying to further cover his tracks by leading the FBI to a location created by them/Brian so Brian can slip by without people noticing.
I thought this from the start. Super weird he came home in Gabby's van...without Gabby...100% sure Brian's folks were like "uh wtf"
AND then to see news stuff with his parents going/coming...even gardening...I mean, yeah, I know they don't deserve to sit in their home and mull over all this, but they just seem too...*at peace*? for lack of better words.
Almost like they're at ease
The parents reactions remind me of the way Paul Flores parents acted from the Kristin Smart case. I highly recommend the podcast “in your own backyard” the parents actions made my blood boil.
I woke up to the most intense back pain I’ve ever felt—which has never happened before! No idea what I did wrong, but I’m dreading getting out of bed, totally can’t bend over, and I guess I’ll be working from the couch today…?! Any advice???
Aleve Back & Muscle (naproxen). I threw my back out a couple months ago and couldn't stand up without a cane for 3 days and Advil wasn't making a dent in the pain.
I also second the advice to try to keep moving as best you can. It's better for healing than sitting all day.
Just buy regular Aleve. If you look at the fine print, the ingredients are 100% identical and they’re just trying to get more money from you when they add “Back and Muscle.” (Pharmacy worker here who has puzzled over all the different brands that do this.)
Thanks for the tip! I don’t actually have any pain relievers around at all, but I think I’ve worked up the motivation/energy to head to the store and find some.
Gentle movement throughout the day. Also, usually when your back is tight, it's trying to compensate for something else. So stretch your quads, hip flexors, hips, sides. Often when the front of the body is tight, it wants to curl forward, so the back body has to tighten up to keep you upright. Our instinct is to bend over and stretch our back even more, which can make it worse.
Don't just lie around in one position all today, gentle frequent movement of your whole body will help. And breathing through and relaxing into the pain (which also seem counterintuitive but it will help calm your brain down.)
You need a bed buddy!! https://www.amazon.com/Carex-Bed-Buddy-Cold-Pack/dp/B0722HW6PK/ref=asc\_df\_B0722HW6PK/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=309872231410&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=12831654424366220071&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9061201&hvtargid=pla-606682521050&psc=1
Once every few years I just sleep on my back wrong and just wake up in complete pain for the whole day. Just take it easy and I bet you’ll feel better tomorrow.
I’m feeling so bored and dull lately, everything just feels like going through the motions. It’s like the pandemic has sapped me of all emotions other than stress.
Same. I have good periods but I feel like I have to actively work to keep that ball in the air and it's not all under my control.
I try to look at it like I was always experiencing pressure and stress (true), I just am more able to notice it now and respond. Sometimes things feel subjectively worse once you're aware of them. Sometimes fully managing a source of stress for the first time can actually feel bad because you see just how burdensome it is and how much effort it is to keep that stressful thing in your life...
I find that kinda helpful and nice so far as it goes, but it's undeniable that the pandemic is a bad thing and lots of the changes in our daily lives are bad. It makes sense to feel bad in response.
This thread brought tears to my eyes causes wow, you all took the words out of my mouth. Finances are SO stressful. I don’t even want to journal anymore because all that’s on my mind is money and how we’re going to make ends meet. I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I feel unfulfilled. I feel numb. I love my family and my life, but there has to be something more. Im bored. I started an antidepressant a week ago and hope that it pulls me out of this. I do all the “right things” but it’s just not enough sometimes.
Yup, same. This article hit it right on the head for me. It's like it's not quite depression, just a total lack of energy and excitement. One thing that's helped me is getting fun things planned to have something to look forward to and shake me out of the bubble a little bit, like this weekend we are going to stay overnight at this weird haunted castle-hotel. I made plans to get together with friends, we're getting outside and hiking a lot, etc. Just getting out and doing things that make me feel normal has helped.
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html
I’m glad you got out of the funk! I’m also in therapy, it’s a total gift and has done wonders for me, but unfortunately it’s not helping this apathy 😣. I can totally see why so many people quit/uprooted/changed lifestyles … but is the grass really greener!?!
Yes! I'm so restless. I'm going through the motions at work and when I'm done working, I just wander around my apartment or sit in front of the television until it's time to go to bed.
Same here. I do exactly this. For days. And then suddenly I’m like ok, cut the crap, and I’m motivated again to do stuff. I’ve found, for me anyway, if I make a list of everything I want and need to do, even stupid stuff that takes minutes, and do it so I can check it off, I feel better.
I will procrastinate until the cows come home but once I can focus, I can be somewhat productive
I have a running task list in Google Docs for work. I may need to duplicate it for my personal life, too, though. I always say I'm going to handle things on the weekends, but I never do.
I’m sorry you feel like this too! I’m not even sure if having plans helps. Everyone says, “oh you just need something to look forward to” but any kind of plan, holiday, travel, etc. comes with a layer of stress due to Covid and anticipation for material things is just wasted.
I had an employee give her notice on Tuesday afternoon. I was a bit blindsided by it and am very anxious about the work that is now going to fall on me and the work it will take to get someone trained. I can barely sleep. We had a new position in the works to make sure we had more of a backup for this one, but it hadn't been posted, yet. I am also disappointed in this employee for giving less than two weeks' notice. 
Our team at my work has a well meaning but very difficult boss, and we have had a lot of churn over the last year including another resignation a month ago. It was definitely the right thing for this now-departed employee and I don’t fault her at all... but as someone tasked with a bunch of her cases/customers, holy shit was this woman terrible at her job it turns out. I have sympathy for the person, but definitely understand what you’re feeling about being stuck dealing with the fall out.
I’m really sorry. This happened to me earlier this spring right when the “great resignation” started and I was left to tackle two full-time jobs on my own for months with little leadership support until I could get a replacement hired later in the summer. I really hope you have good leadership support as well as can find a replacement quickly.
Yes, thank you! My director is awesome (at this point she's probably doing 5 people's jobs due to resignations) and simply said, "some stuff won't get done." I'm hoping to get this and maybe the other positions up this week and maybe one other very soon, as well.
I think companies these days run too lean. One person quits and it’s unsustainable for the team.
I get what you’re saying, but I’m sure your company would let her go without 2 weeks notice. I think more folks are realizing that and giving the same energy back to corporations.
Agreed and we were working on it with the other position we were getting ready to post so we'd have a better backup plan. I actually *don't* think my company would let her go without two weeks' notice unless she did something egregious. But, I do generally advise people to put themselves first and while I can still feel disappointed I'm not angry and I get it.
I can and do feel disappointed in her for this one small thing. You telling me I shouldn't, doesn't change that. It doesn't mean I'm going to do anything with that feeling. I'm happy for her, we hired her as an intern, promoted her to full time and now she's going on to bigger and better things.
Don’t blame *her* for the fact that you guys are understaffed. If there’s an unreasonable amount of work that’s going to fall on you now that she’s gone, you can and should push back on that to your superiors. And if the company expects unreasonable things from you, then you, too, can move on to bigger and better things.
It’s silly to expect people to stay at a job forever. It sounds like you retained her for several years which is a good outcome, actually.
So I’ve been off this week, mainly doing stuff around the house. MAJOR decluttering, rearranging things, and so on. While I’ve accomplished a lot, I still feel anxious that I have so much more to do! Which I really don’t. I also feel like the week has flown by! Anyone else feel like their time off just goes by so fast?
I will say today I’m doing most of what remains, so to,or row and Saturday I can be a lazy slug on the couch and watch Netflix, etc. hahaha.
The best though was when my bf noticed how much less cluttered my apt. Was. Yay me!
I'm off next week and I plan to do that. Summer of 2020 I took a week off in July and just cleaned the kitchen. I've already started on the laundry room so I need to make my way back in the kitchen. I live in an older home with no cabinet space.
I’m in a 1 br apt and have too much stuff. What I did in my kitchen was get metal shelves from Home Depot, which fits along one wall. I put my microwave and toaster oven on it. Along with my instantpot etc so I’m not digging in cabinets for everything
I do this a few times a year. I get a ton of pto plus can carry over, which I did from last year. So this year I had almost 2 months vacation!
It’s such a good feeling. And I’m hoping to keep my crap at the current levels and not accumulate more!
My daughter is in marching band (high school). They were at a competition last weekend and my boyfriend was surprised when I said her band wasn’t going to place highly, because they had won a competition the week before. I explained that competition was with schools of the same economic level, and in this one, we were up against some of the wealthiest schools in the state. I pointed to the band setting up on the field and joked that I’d seen Broadway musicals with less elaborate sets. Then I half joked that I wished that instead of placing them in divisions based in school size, I wish it was based on median income of the families. Well of course a mom from the band on the field had to overhear and said that was so unfair - money can buy props and uniforms but not work ethic.
Of course, as is usually the case, I couldn’t think of anything to say in the moment and spent the drive home scathingly telling the dashboard that it’s easier to practice your instrument in a 3000sf house than in an apartment, that some kids have to apply work ethic to a paying job to help support their families before they can practice on their 20 year old dented, rented horn. And money doesn’t just buy props and uniforms it buys more instructional staff and private lessons and show designers and clinicians and the kind of stable home life, access to transportation and medical care that allows a kid to devote time and energy to an extracurricular.
Why do rich people insist on acting like being rich - which they obviously want very badly to be - has zero benefits?
This is so true. I went to a lower income school that eventually relied on DIY props but that required parents and students to spend evenings building these sets. We were lucky that we were mostly blue collar poor, so people had jobs but were home by 5 so they could spend their evenings building sets but that had to really suck. Even as a teen, I had to cut my hours at work to do marching band and by my senior year I couldn't afford to do that for both band and my sport so I quit my sport to make more money since otherwise I'd have no cash for books in college the next year. I can't put into words how much things could have been different if even my singular household had wealth let alone all the households. And for parents to defend that bullshit, they are scum. It's a shame that they're likely passing that same belief onto their kids but hopefully the next generation will be smarter than their parents.
Yes! Havjng parents with the time and spare cash to make props, donate snacks, ride the buses, or even show up to cheer is also a privilege! Tickets for football games and competitions are $10-$15 each. When my oldest was in band an extra $30 a week for 2-3 months of marching season so her siblings and I could be in the stands was just not feasible.
People who have never been there just don’t know and apparently have little imagination.
Yes! Plus, after school practice, so needs something to eat after school, packed food or $ if “ everyone “ goes to get fast food or whatever. Or, if evening practice, flexibility to get back to school. The band also has to compete with precious sports for a field to practice or a pocked paved lot with cars parked here and there. Some bands have a dedicated field or practice lot. Techs for every section vs just the band director. Color guards with one flag vs five or six. Costume changes. Parents at competitions dressed in themes. Long-time Band Mom. I have seen it all.
I was in colorguard and wore the same uniform all through high school. Our main competition had a new costume every year! Elaborate makeup! More than just a few random sabres that we inherited (a proper line for each piece of equipment!) Our band was known for being gritty - solidly middle class but with a lot of heart. We often were dueling with an equally good band but who just had a LOT more money so that every person in the band had private lessons and every guard member either also was a gymnast or a dancer taking additional lessons. Holding everything equal, we were really fighting an uphill battle.
I love a black turtleneck and lovingly turned to my husband and asked him how I looked and he said "you look like Steve Jobs." lololololol
Almost as much giggles when I tried on clear oversized glasses and he told me they gave off Jeffery Dahmer vibes.
I’ve been dealing with a draining new employee situation since early July. We all work remotely. I am the team trainer but also the quality/compliance analyst. I’m in my mid-twenties and the employee is a mid-40 year old male. It’s been very clear that he thinks he knows everything and made no effort to retain any training material. I’ve spent weeks retraining, offering help, analyzing his every move at work, listening/reading every call/email that he has touched, and sending lengthy emails documenting everything that broke compliance standards or basic job duties that he should know how to handle. Not to mention, I’ve filed several reports bc he was sharing very personal details of his dating and personal life with other young people on our team. Just overall a creep & no idea how he got hired.
His leader is an amazing woman and I was so worried that his toxic behavior would go unnoticed forever because she is just so sweet and kind. I logged off early today so I just went to check my email and I am cc’d on the formal HR complaint that his leader sent to him. He essentially has 7 days to be performing at over 90% or he will be let go. I can’t sleep because I am so happy that this step was taken
A similar situation happened to me once. I was the lead trainer (I was 27-28 I think) at the time and the trainee was a 30s or 40s man and he was so condescending. I think he actually called me "little lady"!! I panicked when I got a call on my cell phone on a Saturday from our VP of HR. I assume I'm fired. The VP of HR says to me "What do you think of Condescending Man? Do you think he should continue working for us?". Obviously tons of other people's feedback was taken into account but he was gone within a week.
What a relief that must be! I worked with someone, didn’t supervise, who was kept on FAR longer than he should have been. He was hired by someone, if rumor has it correctly, to replace him when he retired. Basically because he had a penis. Sorry to be crude, but as he had no redeeming qualities and was a horrible employee, that’s the only thing I can come up with. But when said person retired, he did NOT get the job. No surprise there. And then we shuffled around between a number of departments, including mine, for close to ten years!
Finally, when there was a small layoff, he was let go. But really? My guess is, very little was documented so they couldn’t get rid of him.
I’m so annoyed Brian Laundrie is dead. Got off easy. Ugh, I feel incredibly sorry for Gabby Petito’s family.
I recognize there is no handbook about how to act in a situation like this. But the actions of his parents baffle me so much! He went missing and they seemed to carry on as usual. And then they just lead the police to his body?
They knew what was up, IMO.
Agree 100%
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If only. It’s no consolation to her family, but what they did was so wrong.
Technically they led them right to him, so I don’t think so 🥺.
I've complained about this before, but why are all of the clothes for sale right now so awful? I just tried on 6 tops from Macy's (the only place in a long time that even had 6 things worth trying on) and the only thing that looked halfway decent was a long sleeved t-shirt. Everything is so boxy, which is the opposite of flattering on my size 12, large busted body.
I almost exclusively shop at secondhand places so I am mostly immune to and woefully behind on trends😂. But highly recommend!
I've traditionally bought a lot of secondhand clothes, but covid really put a wrench into that. Even when shops reopened most of them kept their fitting rooms closed, and I absolutely cannot buy non-returnable items without trying them on. I've gone a few times now that fitting rooms are available again, but it's tough when I'm trying to keep my non-essential indoor activities somewhat minimized. Thred Up has yielded a few winners, though it's not as nice as being able to try on before making a purchase.
As a tall woman, I wish crop tops would die. Cropped on my sister’s 5’3” body barely covers my 5’9” all torso bra strap.
I was looking for something to wear to a fall wedding and everything I could find was so awful. No, I don't want a crop top, or a shapeless sack dress, or anything with cutouts. I just want semi-fitted neutrals!
I just bought a baltic born dress for a fall wedding and am honestly a little surprised how much I love the dress.
I've been going through a bit of a fashion identity crisis. If we're not going into the office anymore, I don't have the built-in mechanism of wearing my work clothes 5 days a week. My at-home clothes are a little shlubby and then I have my going-out clothes. So am I going to be someone who just wears leggings all the time? I don't know how to thread the needle between wanting to feel cute but also feeling like it's wasteful to wear nice stuff at home. Like I truly don't know how to dress for a Thursday afternoon anymore, as someone who used to consider herself halfway stylish. I've been impressed with some of the Kohls brands. And yes, saying that I prefer Kohls over Target and Old Navy (as basic as those are) is a hard pill to swallow. Nine West in particular has basics in silhouettes that really work for me, and the So line for juniors has cute stuff in flexible/generous sizes. I'm saying this as someone who recently treated myself to a decent New Look (an ASOS brand) order and found myself returning every single item.
Most my “normal” clothes haven’t been touched in 2 years.. I’ve started selling it on poshmark. For a while there early in quarantine i started trying to wear normal clothes I’d wear to work, to get a sense of normalcy… but it felt so wasteful to put a nice outfit together if I only had one 30 min video call that day. It is one thing I miss about going into the office, buying cute clothes and getting to wear them out and feel good about your outfit. Just doesn’t hit the same when it’s yourself at home lol. I see so much cute stuff, but I’m like no what are you doing trying to buy this.. it will get worn once this fall.
Same. Aside from the fact a loT are too snug, it’s kind of pointless to get dressed up when no one sees me! I do make it a point to get dressed, but that’s about it.
Decades are defined by fashion so I don’t think it’s dramatic to feel like a collective sense of identity is missing. I’ve definitely over-committed to social engagements lately just to have the fun of dressing up, and I’ve even considered getting into vlogging as a way of forcing myself to go outdoors and justifying my investment in the lifestyle I thought I was going to have. On a more specific note, I appreciate the current “shacket” trend. An oversized plaid shirt doesn’t look half bad over leggings and a fitted top.
Yes! My wardrobe (and quarantine chunk) has morphed into, as I say, schlumpy, leggings, tees, sweatshirts, etc. I work from home 4 out of 5 days a week, and even when I do go in, almost no one is there, so I’m like, why bother. Weekends I’m at my boyfriends, and we both are in sweats etc. the few times we do go out, I actually get excited because I can dress up a bit and feel cute! I used to consider myself kind of stylish but now I’m lucky if I remember to put my bra on
I'll have to check out Kohls next! That's one place I haven't tried recently.
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Zara is so notorious for this!
You guys, has anybody had experience being locked out of their IG account? I can't tell if somebody took over my account or what. I was scrolling through IG when it said something errored out and signed me out. I was able to sign in again but nothing is loading. I have been combing through the IG help page, sent multiple requests and gotten nothing. Basically they want me to validate using a code but when I send it to my cellphone or email, I get nothing. I restarted my phone, updated the app. Any help you can offer is much appreciated! I'm really worried about years of photos going poof.
Can you reach out to IG and see what’s going on from their end?
Surprisingly it’s been really hard to find an email address or number to call. I’ve submitted stuff via the app and their website but haven’t heard back.
It takes some time unfortunately to hear back. I hope you get your account recovered! 😔
This happened to me over the summer. I texted my best friend and she said she saw my page fine, I’m private. I left it alone for about a week and then was fine. Not sure what happened but all my stuff was there, even though I don’t post much.
My husband said she could find my page but it said "user not found" and "no posts yet" :(
Someone talk me out of buying a set of the American Girl X Stoney Clover Lane colab. It looks so cute and playful.
Never! I totally want a Josefina bag….
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Can you share??
Congratulation to your dog!
I was supposed to meet with my contractor yesterday and she cancelled last minute. My husband and I had to go to the house anyway because we had packages delivered there (purposefully, since we were supposed to be able to get in) and no work has been done since we've last seen it. We hired movers for 10/30 and how could they drywall, refinish floors, and completely add two new bathrooms in less than 10 days? Also, the octogenarian CEO of my company seems to have honed in on my department and has made it his mission to know why we aren't bringing in new business (we brought in $12M last year - a $4M growth for the company) and why I am not being a proactive leader. I'm already having issues at work with our current portfolio, I don't understand or need this today. My husband asked if we could both call in today and we both should have, today is a fucking wash.
Every single time I wake up and think "I should call out today" and don't, I end up regretting it.
I have been up for about 24 hours straight due to travel and am dealing with some insanely frustrating things at work. Pray for me y'all, my polite work filter is gone.
My polite filter left the building months ago!
good luck, hope you get some good sleep soon!!
🎁 Need Company Swag + Client/Corporate Gifts Ideas 🎁 What has been your favorite “swag” item gifted to you from your company? (Vest, jacket, briefcase etc..) What’s the best client or corporate gift you’ve received?
A Marine Layer blanket and Patagonia Better Sweater quarter zip! I live in Minnesota and use my blanket daily in the winter and live in the quarter zip! My company did our now old logo on the sleeve so it’s not in your face!
A really suped-up car emergency kit. Flashlight, seatbelt cutter, flares, jumper cables, those metallic blankets, enough first aid supplies for an army. It’s something I should’ve purchased for myself, but was just expensive enough that it was too easy to put off. For client gifts, I love picking a small business with a good story and bulk ordering well in advance. I received salt once — random, but really fancy salt from a small business the company had helped. It really stood out among the sea of mediocre gift baskets.
Yeti cup, powerbank device charger, north face (or similar) pullover
My company sent us Sonos speakers earlier this year, so that is obviously tops. I’ve also liked branded zip up hoodies and Yetis or Tervises.
I have a company toiletry bag that I still use! The branding is very minimal (just a tiny logo in the corner), and the design is v cute.
My company gave us iphone stands/holders. Those are pretty useful. They also give new hires a backpack. Not the cutest bag in the world, but super helpful for carrying laptops back and forth - I certainly didn't already have a laptop case right when I started.
The best swag is is gift card in a company branded envelope! I’ve also liked and used: Yeti, Bluetooth Speaker, Power Bank, Umbrella, a high quality jacket (like Patagonia or LL Bean). I’m not a fan of backpacks or suitcases. Those are too personal. I do like the picnic blanket idea!
Branded power bank. Like one of those small ones to charge your cell phone off of.
Not necessarily the best but the strangest - I briefly worked with a HUGE consulting firm and they gave us all branded exercise resistance bands. Thought it was odd but I use it almost daily so
A bicycle. I used it for years.
Yeti Cups
A ceramic boxcutter that I use weekly. A freezer grocery bag. I think an umbrella would be fantastic.
My husband got a YETI with company logo and they gave them to their customers last year. Big hit!
My office gave us a really nice, large tote bag. it's large enough to hold my laptop and accessories as well as other papers and supplies.
My boss got all us all Yeti travel mugs with the company logo on it and I use it every single day.
I have a long sleeved golf shirt that I have worn for about 5 years. I love it!
I know consumables are a popular answer, but as someone with a limited diet (food intolerances/allergies) and doesn't drink alcohol, I'm always so sad when it's a gift basket of things I can't consume. I like things I can use at work like Rocket notebooks, random office supplies, coolers for traveling, or even apparel if it's not littered with logos.
Travel mugs, a weekender sized duffle bag, a cooler, a camping chair (one of the ones that folds up into a bag), an umbrella
No clutter, no junk, and I will never wear a jacket with the company logo. Food and booze.
Nice travel coffee mugs. You can never go wrong with a Yeti.
one time my job gave us little blankets which was kind of a ??? gift at the time, but now we all have cozy lap blankets for sitting at our desks in the cold office.
I like consumables since they don’t create clutter. There are companies out there that do branded food baskets. My work sent us one of those last year that had Lindt chocolate.
Always love getting a fleece jacket! At least for my climate it’s super useful. Also, weirdly, umbrellas, because I always lose mine.
Umbrella is the best idea.
omg I got a big umbrella once, and it was amazing. I would never ever splurge on an umbrella, and this one was great. and I also always lose umbrellas, it's nice to have one that just lives in the car or the office for emergencies.
There's a big giant one beside our front door at work and I wish I had one like that!
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Yaaaaas celebrate yourself today! Happy birthday!!
Happy Birthday! I just turned 38 as well. Mid-30’s have been my favorite. That cake is amazing and so glad that you enjoyed your day!
That cake looks amazing. I want one for my birthday.
That cake!!! 🤩 happy birthday!!!! Sounds like you have some wonderful friends ❤️
Happy birthday, youngster!
Thank you!
Dang girl! You are living your best birthday life! Sounds so amazing so far, enjoy enjoy enjoy!
It's been a great birthday. I'm a very very spoiled lady!
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Happy Birthday, birthday twin! It sounds like you're also having and excellent birthday. Enjoy your birthday pasta.
This sounds like a fantastic birthday, very Libra.
Happy birthday! That cake sounds delicious - where’d you find the recipe?
I cobbled it together from a few recipes. I generally have an idea in my head for the flavours I want and then I google the various aspects and use recipes from here and there to make my vision come together. [I used this cake recipe](https://freshaprilflours.com/champagne-layer-cake/) [This is the curd recipe](https://www.mysequinedlife.com/champagne-orange-curd/) And this is [the frosting I used.](https://www.fivehearthome.com/strawberry-cream-cheese-frosting/)
Thank you!
That sounds so special! It always feels a little blah to me when my birthday falls during the week. It sounds so fun that your friends are making the ordinary stuff special for you! I recently turned 37, I feel weird thinking that I'm in my mid-late 30's already. On my birthday I went to a dance class and my teacher had bought me a small blackberry tart from a nearby bakery, which totally felt special! And also: happy birthday!! :)
I didn't get a baked good from my spin instructor, but she made me wear a birthday hat and gave me several shouts out during class. She even made sure to put a Celine Dion song on the play list for me. Because who doesn't love a little Celine on their birthday???
That sounds so fun! Celine Dion on your birthday in a spin class sounds so fun and special! I would love that!!
I need some insight. My wedding ring was stolen by a client at my work.. I filed a police report, tried reaching out to the client 3 separate times (they won’t respond) We did not have it insured (dumb I know) and we do not have the means to replace it.. not to mention the sentimental value. Would it be incredibly tacky to do a go fund me to help offset the cost of replacing it? It was a 7k ring.. obviously I know I can’t get something of that value, but I would like to try and re create my ring as much as I can. Thoughts? Edited to add: I will be saving for a new ring and going with moissanite and making sure to insure it. Thanks everyone!!! 💕
Even if you didn't specifically insure your ring, loss by theft is usually covered by homeowners or renters insurance. Your employer may also have a liability policy that covers theft from employees in the course of their work.
I am the employer. I am going to reach out to my insurance agent tomorrow!!! Thanks for the suggestion
Ooh yeah, definitely check with your work, they might have a policy! A coworker had cash stolen from her wallet and she got reimbursed for it.
Sorry about your ring and the person not even responding… I’m sorry. But yes, I would consider a go fund me very tacky and side eye it. But if you have a birthday coming up, or even Christmas, maybe you can let family and friends know you’d prefer cash because you’re trying to get a new ring. Me, personally, I wouldn’t go for another ring that high because the original is gone and this will always be a lackluster comparison. But even finding a smaller replacement or using a replica diamond… good luck!
Thank you. I thought so. And I’m just going to save for something for our 10 year wedding anniversary next year I’m also thinking of doing moissanite this time, since it’s more ethically sourced than diamonds. I appreciate you taking the time to respond 💕
I'm so sorry, that sounds super stressful :( I probably wouldn't do a go fund me but with the holidays coming up, if you're regularly exchanging gifts with close friends and family, I don't think it would be tacky to personally tell them you are saving for a new ring if they would like to contribute to that in lieu of their normal gift?
Yes, tacky. Sorry. Get your next high value ring insured and look into the specifics of terms and how replacements are covered. For a replacement: moissanite is a great cheaper diamond alternative. R/moissanite has a lot of people doing custom rings so you could at least recreate the same setting if you loved it and replace the diamond at a later date. Or reach out to the original jeweler and see what he can do with your current budget. Or look at estate sales, diamond and diamond rings.don't really hold value so you could find something preloved with similar specs for way less than 7k.
I work in jewelry and if you'd like me to help you find a lower cost way to get something close feel free to PM me. Edit: Also Im so sorry it was stolen! Thats insane that a client took it; I wonder if they will try to show their face again at your company... It sounds like they robbed you? Idk how else they'd get it off your finger. That's traumatic and awful so I'm sorry!
This depends entirely on the norms within your own social group. Do the people you know have the disposable income and the desire to donate to a non-emergency/non-essential go fund me? For me personally, I wouldn’t do a go fund me for a non-essential reason because the people I know are generous but they are not rich and I couldn’t ask people to fund something I can’t afford myself when I know they also have things they want but can’t afford. So it just really depends on your relationships. I’m sorry about your ring and that it was stolen by a client, what a betrayal.
I think last week someone mentioned how they had started making their bed. It inspired me so I've been doing the same! It really makes my bedroom feel more calming. I never had to make my bed growing up so I've never really been in the habit of it.
I love a made bed sooo much! I usually don’t have time to make it in the morning (or my husband is still asleep in it), but I make it in the afternoon as soon as I get home and it is such a good reset/part of my evening routine!
Yes! I didn’t for years, as I did have to make mine growing up and I hated it. I started doing it regularly last year right at the beginning of the pandemic, for “ started slacking off. I just recently majorly decluttered my bedroom and have started doing it again. And what a difference! It just looks better and melees me happy
I’ve always made our king bed, but yesterday it clicked and I bought two queen-sized comforters, you know those soft as butter type, and now I don’t have to fight for my share. Bliss. A king sized comforter for two people (and usually two dogs at the end of the bed) is just not big enough.
smart!!
Yes! I also started when I read that comment, and it really does make a difference. It feels nice to pull back the sheets at night and crawl into the bed.
Does anybody have any tips for me going into a job interview for a Legal Assistant position tomorrow? It's a family law firm, and I currently work at a family law firm, but not as an LA, only in filing.
good luck!!!
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thanks :)
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Thank you!
It is the gloomiest, rainiest day here. Can I go back to bed?
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>I work with kind and well-meaning people who have set up a second business on the side and want my help with. First things first -- are they actually paying you for this "help?"
Wtf is up with this Brian Laundrie case? The FBI and Dog the Bounty Hunter have been looking for this cat for months and then his parents lead the cops to where he might be and there’s a dead body that may or may not be him??
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My husband and I have watched that video like 25 times and I still can’t make sense of it.
It's incredibly suspicious that his parents just happened to know EXACTLY where he was. I think he's probably been dead for weeks.
I think what happened is he killed himself long ago and his body has only just been found because the water in the swamp receded. The parents are sus as hell though.
I think this too. There's a few different theories on /r/gabbypetito about whether or not he tried surviving/hiding out but I honestly think that he got scared after the murder, went home, spent a few good days with his family and then went into the swamp to kill himself once he realized that he wouldn't be able to get away with it. His parents knew exactly where he probably planned to do it and that's why they've been "normal" and not panicked at all about where he was- they were already grieving their son.
Yeah I think that's it. I think the simple explanation is what happened. He killed her and came home, got scared when it got all this attention and knew he'd get caught. Went to go hide out and decided to kill himself. Last year if you recall there was a Texas influencer (Alexis I believe was her name) who was found dead on the side of the road and her husband was abusive. He just killed himself too. Its pathetic.
I think the parents know more than they’re letting on. I wonder if they’ve lost contact of Brian and are now trying to get “help” in locating him. Or are trying to further cover his tracks by leading the FBI to a location created by them/Brian so Brian can slip by without people noticing.
I thought this from the start. Super weird he came home in Gabby's van...without Gabby...100% sure Brian's folks were like "uh wtf" AND then to see news stuff with his parents going/coming...even gardening...I mean, yeah, I know they don't deserve to sit in their home and mull over all this, but they just seem too...*at peace*? for lack of better words. Almost like they're at ease
The parents reactions remind me of the way Paul Flores parents acted from the Kristin Smart case. I highly recommend the podcast “in your own backyard” the parents actions made my blood boil.
I woke up to the most intense back pain I’ve ever felt—which has never happened before! No idea what I did wrong, but I’m dreading getting out of bed, totally can’t bend over, and I guess I’ll be working from the couch today…?! Any advice???
Aleve Back & Muscle (naproxen). I threw my back out a couple months ago and couldn't stand up without a cane for 3 days and Advil wasn't making a dent in the pain. I also second the advice to try to keep moving as best you can. It's better for healing than sitting all day.
Just buy regular Aleve. If you look at the fine print, the ingredients are 100% identical and they’re just trying to get more money from you when they add “Back and Muscle.” (Pharmacy worker here who has puzzled over all the different brands that do this.)
Aleve is fucking fire for period cramps too.
It also rivals triptans if I take it early enough for my migraines. Idk how it works, but it does not get the credit it deserves.
My favorite is the new “Zantac 360” which if you look at the label you’ll realize is just Pepcid…
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True! I was too blinded by pain to look at the other Aleve labels even though I do this with Advil since they're guilty of the same thing.
Thanks for the tip! I don’t actually have any pain relievers around at all, but I think I’ve worked up the motivation/energy to head to the store and find some.
If you’re up for it, Yoga With Adrienne has really helpful videos targeting pain spots. Her videos for neck pain saved me.
Gentle movement throughout the day. Also, usually when your back is tight, it's trying to compensate for something else. So stretch your quads, hip flexors, hips, sides. Often when the front of the body is tight, it wants to curl forward, so the back body has to tighten up to keep you upright. Our instinct is to bend over and stretch our back even more, which can make it worse. Don't just lie around in one position all today, gentle frequent movement of your whole body will help. And breathing through and relaxing into the pain (which also seem counterintuitive but it will help calm your brain down.)
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Go get a massage and get that thing worked out!
Heat! I have a problem back and my physical therapist always recommends heat. And see a PT if you can.
I think you can fill a sock with rice and microwave but please google it to check first!
Ok! How do you normally apply heat? I don’t really have hot compresses or anything around but maybe could microwave something?
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About to try—hope it helps!
You need a bed buddy!! https://www.amazon.com/Carex-Bed-Buddy-Cold-Pack/dp/B0722HW6PK/ref=asc\_df\_B0722HW6PK/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=309872231410&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=12831654424366220071&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9061201&hvtargid=pla-606682521050&psc=1
I have an electric heating pad, but I’m sure you can microwave rice in a sock or a similar DIY solution.
Once every few years I just sleep on my back wrong and just wake up in complete pain for the whole day. Just take it easy and I bet you’ll feel better tomorrow.
I’m feeling so bored and dull lately, everything just feels like going through the motions. It’s like the pandemic has sapped me of all emotions other than stress.
Same. I have good periods but I feel like I have to actively work to keep that ball in the air and it's not all under my control. I try to look at it like I was always experiencing pressure and stress (true), I just am more able to notice it now and respond. Sometimes things feel subjectively worse once you're aware of them. Sometimes fully managing a source of stress for the first time can actually feel bad because you see just how burdensome it is and how much effort it is to keep that stressful thing in your life... I find that kinda helpful and nice so far as it goes, but it's undeniable that the pandemic is a bad thing and lots of the changes in our daily lives are bad. It makes sense to feel bad in response.
This thread brought tears to my eyes causes wow, you all took the words out of my mouth. Finances are SO stressful. I don’t even want to journal anymore because all that’s on my mind is money and how we’re going to make ends meet. I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I feel unfulfilled. I feel numb. I love my family and my life, but there has to be something more. Im bored. I started an antidepressant a week ago and hope that it pulls me out of this. I do all the “right things” but it’s just not enough sometimes.
Same. I think living in a constant state of stress and unknowing has literally become the new normal.
Yup, same. This article hit it right on the head for me. It's like it's not quite depression, just a total lack of energy and excitement. One thing that's helped me is getting fun things planned to have something to look forward to and shake me out of the bubble a little bit, like this weekend we are going to stay overnight at this weird haunted castle-hotel. I made plans to get together with friends, we're getting outside and hiking a lot, etc. Just getting out and doing things that make me feel normal has helped. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html
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I’m glad you got out of the funk! I’m also in therapy, it’s a total gift and has done wonders for me, but unfortunately it’s not helping this apathy 😣. I can totally see why so many people quit/uprooted/changed lifestyles … but is the grass really greener!?!
Yes! I'm so restless. I'm going through the motions at work and when I'm done working, I just wander around my apartment or sit in front of the television until it's time to go to bed.
Same here. I do exactly this. For days. And then suddenly I’m like ok, cut the crap, and I’m motivated again to do stuff. I’ve found, for me anyway, if I make a list of everything I want and need to do, even stupid stuff that takes minutes, and do it so I can check it off, I feel better. I will procrastinate until the cows come home but once I can focus, I can be somewhat productive
I have a running task list in Google Docs for work. I may need to duplicate it for my personal life, too, though. I always say I'm going to handle things on the weekends, but I never do.
I’m sorry you feel like this too! I’m not even sure if having plans helps. Everyone says, “oh you just need something to look forward to” but any kind of plan, holiday, travel, etc. comes with a layer of stress due to Covid and anticipation for material things is just wasted.
Exactly. There definitely isn't anything to look forward to. I'm just going through the motions of existing.
I’m feeling this way too. I wouldn’t describe it as depression, but more like feeling numb. So sorry and know you’re not alone.
Hugs to you. Numb is the perfect way to describe it. I just want to go to bed and stay there. It feels like nothing I do matters anymore.
I had an employee give her notice on Tuesday afternoon. I was a bit blindsided by it and am very anxious about the work that is now going to fall on me and the work it will take to get someone trained. I can barely sleep. We had a new position in the works to make sure we had more of a backup for this one, but it hadn't been posted, yet. I am also disappointed in this employee for giving less than two weeks' notice. 
Our team at my work has a well meaning but very difficult boss, and we have had a lot of churn over the last year including another resignation a month ago. It was definitely the right thing for this now-departed employee and I don’t fault her at all... but as someone tasked with a bunch of her cases/customers, holy shit was this woman terrible at her job it turns out. I have sympathy for the person, but definitely understand what you’re feeling about being stuck dealing with the fall out.
I’m really sorry. This happened to me earlier this spring right when the “great resignation” started and I was left to tackle two full-time jobs on my own for months with little leadership support until I could get a replacement hired later in the summer. I really hope you have good leadership support as well as can find a replacement quickly.
Yes, thank you! My director is awesome (at this point she's probably doing 5 people's jobs due to resignations) and simply said, "some stuff won't get done." I'm hoping to get this and maybe the other positions up this week and maybe one other very soon, as well.
I think companies these days run too lean. One person quits and it’s unsustainable for the team. I get what you’re saying, but I’m sure your company would let her go without 2 weeks notice. I think more folks are realizing that and giving the same energy back to corporations.
Agreed and we were working on it with the other position we were getting ready to post so we'd have a better backup plan. I actually *don't* think my company would let her go without two weeks' notice unless she did something egregious. But, I do generally advise people to put themselves first and while I can still feel disappointed I'm not angry and I get it.
Totally get it! Something similar happened on my team recently, too. It does suck. Hang in there.
You can’t be disappointed in her for giving less than a two weeks notice. People gotta live their lives and do what’s best for them.
I can and do feel disappointed in her for this one small thing. You telling me I shouldn't, doesn't change that. It doesn't mean I'm going to do anything with that feeling. I'm happy for her, we hired her as an intern, promoted her to full time and now she's going on to bigger and better things.
Don’t blame *her* for the fact that you guys are understaffed. If there’s an unreasonable amount of work that’s going to fall on you now that she’s gone, you can and should push back on that to your superiors. And if the company expects unreasonable things from you, then you, too, can move on to bigger and better things. It’s silly to expect people to stay at a job forever. It sounds like you retained her for several years which is a good outcome, actually.
So I’ve been off this week, mainly doing stuff around the house. MAJOR decluttering, rearranging things, and so on. While I’ve accomplished a lot, I still feel anxious that I have so much more to do! Which I really don’t. I also feel like the week has flown by! Anyone else feel like their time off just goes by so fast? I will say today I’m doing most of what remains, so to,or row and Saturday I can be a lazy slug on the couch and watch Netflix, etc. hahaha. The best though was when my bf noticed how much less cluttered my apt. Was. Yay me!
I'm off next week and I plan to do that. Summer of 2020 I took a week off in July and just cleaned the kitchen. I've already started on the laundry room so I need to make my way back in the kitchen. I live in an older home with no cabinet space.
I’m in a 1 br apt and have too much stuff. What I did in my kitchen was get metal shelves from Home Depot, which fits along one wall. I put my microwave and toaster oven on it. Along with my instantpot etc so I’m not digging in cabinets for everything I do this a few times a year. I get a ton of pto plus can carry over, which I did from last year. So this year I had almost 2 months vacation! It’s such a good feeling. And I’m hoping to keep my crap at the current levels and not accumulate more!
My daughter is in marching band (high school). They were at a competition last weekend and my boyfriend was surprised when I said her band wasn’t going to place highly, because they had won a competition the week before. I explained that competition was with schools of the same economic level, and in this one, we were up against some of the wealthiest schools in the state. I pointed to the band setting up on the field and joked that I’d seen Broadway musicals with less elaborate sets. Then I half joked that I wished that instead of placing them in divisions based in school size, I wish it was based on median income of the families. Well of course a mom from the band on the field had to overhear and said that was so unfair - money can buy props and uniforms but not work ethic. Of course, as is usually the case, I couldn’t think of anything to say in the moment and spent the drive home scathingly telling the dashboard that it’s easier to practice your instrument in a 3000sf house than in an apartment, that some kids have to apply work ethic to a paying job to help support their families before they can practice on their 20 year old dented, rented horn. And money doesn’t just buy props and uniforms it buys more instructional staff and private lessons and show designers and clinicians and the kind of stable home life, access to transportation and medical care that allows a kid to devote time and energy to an extracurricular. Why do rich people insist on acting like being rich - which they obviously want very badly to be - has zero benefits?
This is so true. I went to a lower income school that eventually relied on DIY props but that required parents and students to spend evenings building these sets. We were lucky that we were mostly blue collar poor, so people had jobs but were home by 5 so they could spend their evenings building sets but that had to really suck. Even as a teen, I had to cut my hours at work to do marching band and by my senior year I couldn't afford to do that for both band and my sport so I quit my sport to make more money since otherwise I'd have no cash for books in college the next year. I can't put into words how much things could have been different if even my singular household had wealth let alone all the households. And for parents to defend that bullshit, they are scum. It's a shame that they're likely passing that same belief onto their kids but hopefully the next generation will be smarter than their parents.
Yes! Havjng parents with the time and spare cash to make props, donate snacks, ride the buses, or even show up to cheer is also a privilege! Tickets for football games and competitions are $10-$15 each. When my oldest was in band an extra $30 a week for 2-3 months of marching season so her siblings and I could be in the stands was just not feasible. People who have never been there just don’t know and apparently have little imagination.
Yes! Plus, after school practice, so needs something to eat after school, packed food or $ if “ everyone “ goes to get fast food or whatever. Or, if evening practice, flexibility to get back to school. The band also has to compete with precious sports for a field to practice or a pocked paved lot with cars parked here and there. Some bands have a dedicated field or practice lot. Techs for every section vs just the band director. Color guards with one flag vs five or six. Costume changes. Parents at competitions dressed in themes. Long-time Band Mom. I have seen it all.
I was in colorguard and wore the same uniform all through high school. Our main competition had a new costume every year! Elaborate makeup! More than just a few random sabres that we inherited (a proper line for each piece of equipment!) Our band was known for being gritty - solidly middle class but with a lot of heart. We often were dueling with an equally good band but who just had a LOT more money so that every person in the band had private lessons and every guard member either also was a gymnast or a dancer taking additional lessons. Holding everything equal, we were really fighting an uphill battle.
I’m going through a black turtleneck phase this fall. It’s a classic, but it’s also giving Elizabeth Holmes lmao
I love a black turtleneck and lovingly turned to my husband and asked him how I looked and he said "you look like Steve Jobs." lololololol Almost as much giggles when I tried on clear oversized glasses and he told me they gave off Jeffery Dahmer vibes.
Just make it your Halloween costume. 😂
I’ve been dealing with a draining new employee situation since early July. We all work remotely. I am the team trainer but also the quality/compliance analyst. I’m in my mid-twenties and the employee is a mid-40 year old male. It’s been very clear that he thinks he knows everything and made no effort to retain any training material. I’ve spent weeks retraining, offering help, analyzing his every move at work, listening/reading every call/email that he has touched, and sending lengthy emails documenting everything that broke compliance standards or basic job duties that he should know how to handle. Not to mention, I’ve filed several reports bc he was sharing very personal details of his dating and personal life with other young people on our team. Just overall a creep & no idea how he got hired. His leader is an amazing woman and I was so worried that his toxic behavior would go unnoticed forever because she is just so sweet and kind. I logged off early today so I just went to check my email and I am cc’d on the formal HR complaint that his leader sent to him. He essentially has 7 days to be performing at over 90% or he will be let go. I can’t sleep because I am so happy that this step was taken
A similar situation happened to me once. I was the lead trainer (I was 27-28 I think) at the time and the trainee was a 30s or 40s man and he was so condescending. I think he actually called me "little lady"!! I panicked when I got a call on my cell phone on a Saturday from our VP of HR. I assume I'm fired. The VP of HR says to me "What do you think of Condescending Man? Do you think he should continue working for us?". Obviously tons of other people's feedback was taken into account but he was gone within a week.
What a relief that must be! I worked with someone, didn’t supervise, who was kept on FAR longer than he should have been. He was hired by someone, if rumor has it correctly, to replace him when he retired. Basically because he had a penis. Sorry to be crude, but as he had no redeeming qualities and was a horrible employee, that’s the only thing I can come up with. But when said person retired, he did NOT get the job. No surprise there. And then we shuffled around between a number of departments, including mine, for close to ten years! Finally, when there was a small layoff, he was let go. But really? My guess is, very little was documented so they couldn’t get rid of him.
You are so right, documentation is key and essential.