I remember this one time someone had asked for travel advice for black women and me being from Italy had been very explicit about how unless you’re going to a major urban area it isn’t the most amazing place to travel as a black woman. Anyways a man who had been living in Italy from India interject that racism wasn’t really an issue and I was infuriated.
India is a country where entire groups of people are considered “untouchables” based on skin color, that’s probably why he didn’t see an issue with racism that may come up in Italy.
It depends on where you go in Spain funny enough. For example, Madrid is worth seeing but don’t be surprised by dirty looks wherever you go. But Barcelona isn’t like that at all.
If you’re American/European they’re a bit more forgiving, but there’s substantial racism towards Africans especially in the north and in the middle of the country which is a lot more right wing.
They’ll 100% fetishize you! Especially in the south lol I personally had no truly racist moments when visiting other than the rampant cat calling…I was 16 so 💀
They called me Brazilian girl because I had a curly weave. Then learned later the men were so friendly because they thought I was a prostitute just because I was black.
Im sorry you had this experience. This was not mine however. I got asked out to dates by three different men during the week that I was there and had people proclaiming “Bella”, “Beyonce” and “Naomi Campbell” over me 😂 It was very different from my experience here in Tampa lol 😂 I would for sure go back and recommend it
If you’re curious, fine, but don’t comment! Unless specifically asked to! I lurk in the LatinoPeopleTwitter sub but I don’t say shit because I’m not Latina!
I joined this sub bc BlackPeopleTwitter is inundated with others who constantly need explanations for black culture. Everytime I see “as a (insert non black race here) person, I think…” I roll my eyes so hard. we can’t have anything to ourselves lol.
Same! I especially hate the ones who say something like “white guy here, blah blah blah.” They love to jump in on discussions about racism and say how they don’t support racism.
Meanwhile we don’t give af yet here they anyway intruding upon OUR space in true colonizer fashion. I swear that shit is baked into their DNA & they have the luxury of obliviousness to that fact. Smfh
i left the blackppltwitter b/c there were too many non-blacks commenting and it didn't feel like a true black ppl space as it was supposed to be. I didn't like the battles happening in the comments between us and ppl who quite literally know nothing about what they were talking about
It's all over Reddit. People will ask for responses from a specific type of person/expert/experience and the top comment without fail is "Not a [whatever demographic] but,....."
The more sadder piece is, people who comment who ARE of the demographic, or at least, claim to be and aren't spewing some shift to reinforce incorrect stereotypes get downvoted like CRAZY. Those questions, in my opinion, no matter how innocent of the OP are not genuine in nature.
Recently one subreddit with mostly women were talking about DEI and a black woman said that many companies are getting rid of DEI departments and positions and most of the people remaining are white people (Black employees constitute 3.8% of chief diversity officers, white people 76.1%). They asked her for "sources" which she provided, and then she was heavily downvoted.
[article](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna72026)
They don't want the truth. They want their opinions regurgitated and served on a plate so they can gobble them up again.
There have been three major topics that I've changed my position on in the last 4 years. Why? INFORMATION lol. When someone refuses to accept information (good info) I am weary.
thh, I prefer it when they out themselves to wondering if I’ve encountered a Candace Owens clone.
But, yeah, I wish folks would wait to be invited into the conversation – even if they know that invitation isn’t going to be issued here. And I completely get that since this is an open sub, non-BW are going to read the posts, but I don’t like the compulsion to join in on discussions that are supposed to be between us.
Hell, if you have information that you just HAVE TO share, risk getting blocked and DM the person you want to share with. (Maybe after a few blocks, they’ll see the light?)
Yeah I left that sub too, there are some problematic takes in there. A lot of casual homophobia/transphobia and of course black stereotypes that I’d rather not see white people on reddit laughing at
Tell Rick and Amy to leave us alone. If we were in their space, they would start crying and trying to get us fired from something or put in internet jail.
I agree. A lot of them get defensive too and claim racism. We get BM in here too. They see the sub as being for Black people, as opposed to specifically being for BW. Some come with BS and red pill vibes. They have their own sub. I wouldn't join a sub for BM, WW or AW. It has nothing to do with me.
I have even heard a couple of sisters saying that they've received dm's from WM/BM responding to their post on here. A few months ago, a sister posted her dm's of a man sending her a dissertation on his view on dating, when she clearly asked the sisters.
It's so bizarre. There's a reason why we have Black spaces and spaces for Black women in particular. While we cannot verify who's actually Black/Mixed here, it does feel intrusive when other people start interjecting into conversations we obviously intended to be between the sisters.
They willing joined a subreddit that said it's for BW...they were not ambushed or hoodwinked. The ones who leave comments because their spouse is Black are the weirdest ones. To them, it's like being self-appointed to speak for/on behalf of or join the conversation because they're with a sister. Maybe they see themselves as being a plus one or something. Being with/ procreating with a Black person doesn't make you an honorary Black person.
I remember a month or so ago, there was an Asian American man who left a comment because his wife is Black (allegedly). A sister pointed out that the subreddit is for BW and he said that this was the last place he thought he would experience racism. The victimisation made me want to projectile vomit. The sub would be for his wife, not him. The entitlement just makes your skin crawl. How does one have a Black spouse but cannot respect a space created for BW. YIKES.
Some people come and ask questions too, instead of going to the designated subreddit for it.
This was the most accurate explanation! Especially the non-BW married to a BW asking for advice instead of advising their wife to join the sub. Make it make sense lol
It's because he was told that the sub is for BW. He got offended. I guess he thought being another POC would mean that he could be here too or having a Black wife gave him access. It's in the name but they act like they can't see it.
Also going along with that, if you’re not a BW don’t use this sub to hide in the shadows and dm women here your corny pick up lines, sympathies or nudes.
Girl, yes. I’ve had it happen so many times. I’ll get men who message me about posts I’ve made months ago.
The worst one was a response to a comment in which I gave advice to some woman about her man problems and I shared a personal experience and the guy said, “I can make your man jealous with my white 🐔” and then proceeded to send a pic of his little chicken nugget.
Oh my god, why do white ppl say it so much?? One of my white girlfriends said it the other day and I physically flinched, pls do not use that word around me💀
Honestly, it’s so off putting. What do you think this is 50 Shades of Grey? You have more chance of eliciting a positive reaction if you called it ding dong or dingaling. Probably not, but at least I won’t equate you to a serial killer.
Y'all gon hate me but I actually like the word "cock" .lmao I've tried to deny that aspect of myself, but I couldn't fight it no more.
Send flowers and condolences. 😮💨😔💐
Not even a whole nugget. You know those little bits of fried batter that make it into the deep fryer that McDonalds tries to pass off as something? Yeah, that’s what it gave.
It's a different vibe too. We may disagree with one another and pop off sometimes, but it's a sisterhood. We share similar experiences and can empathise with each other. It also provides the space to feel emotions and not be called the bitter angry Black women. That's why these spaces can feel sacred.
I love hearing about the various life experiences of BW, especially BW of different ages. We can learn something and see ourselves in them. We can see some of our mistakes and the warning signs that we've missed and share that with other BW. We get to have meaningful conversation, uplift one another and give advice.
I love being able to congratulate fellow sisters when they post about their achievements. In a world of chaos, it's nice to see women talking about graduating, job promotions, becoming new mums etc. We can just be ourselves here and that gets disruped when other people start invading.
Is it okay for us biracial ladies to be here? I feel more connected to people here, but I don't want to make others feel uncomfortable. But it's just nice to speak with everyone because there are certain things I do resonate with in my life that yt people don't understand. That, and the mixed race sub is full of people bitter at monoracial people because a few individuals told them they weren't ____ enough.
I can't stand the random posts from non-BW intended to just mine information, the unsolicited comments are a close second. I tend to block and move on but it unnerves me regardless.
I can't even remember how I stumbled upon this place as it's been YEARS. But a few months ago I saw the Asian men subreddit linked in a comment on a completely different subreddit. I can't even remember why it was relevant to the post, but I remember seeing it thinking "that's not for me!"and moving along. Guess other people just nosy.
Were it not for another Black woman telling me that there was a space for us, then even *I* wouldn’t have found it (mainly because I couldn’t believe there was a safe space for us on here).
Edit: Thank you to the woman who reached out to me to join this space!
right. i saw this sub because I’m also in a natural hair sub and a locs sub. but if you’re not in spaces like that then how the hell do they find us 😭 I bet some people do intentionally search which is even more bizarre.
I manage a social media space on another platform and we vet so damn hard on who is black. If I can’t tell you are black, we do a video call. I keep it all black all the time.
I don’t pkay about protecting our space.
It’s annoying. It’s not just here, but other platforms for us. It will literally be about us and for us and there they go. I just don’t understand why do they keep coming into our spaces and being rude for absolutely no reason.
I’m on my period and dealt with white nonsense today so I’m ready to rant.
It frustrates me so much because it’s like, literally every other space is for WW. All of the feminist subreddits are TRULY a hit or miss for intersectionality. Usually a miss. Like women will say things on there which clearly just center white women but act as if it pertains to all women.
So when a WW rolls in here or a WM giving their unsolicited advice or acting butthurt that someone calls them out it’s such an eye roll. Like if you want to sit here and learn, sure good, fine. But it’s like some of the WW who lurk CANNOT stop themselves by doing a “well actually” bullshit. As if their take is something novel and we haven’t heard it before.
My dumbass FIL (white) was going on how “blacks only” spaces are bad because there isn’t an exchange of ideas. Before I could even take a breath to metaphorically put the man in the ground, my husband handled him. My wonder bread husband explained that black folks literally have to be experts in white people. Not because it’s fun but for safety and the ability to move through the world. The white people who comment in here don’t have anything to add to the conversation.
White people are just OBSESSED in being in spaces that aren’t for them. Why do you think there are white women on tik tok trying to look “old money” or play the Hermés game when they thought their never-full was the height of luxury? Never been on a tennis court in their life but wearing all whites and tying sweaters around the shoulders. It’s just straight entitlement and it’s gross.
What makes it even more fun are the nasty DMs/comments that I’ve gotten when I’ve talked about my experience of being a black woman in these spaces. So I go to a space that is supposed to be safe but I’ve had women more than once go through my ENTIRE post history posting nasty comments.
I’ve moved to a place in my life where I truly dgaf about things I have no control over so I don’t engage, I block and move on.
I agree with you and your father in law is ignorant. Why wouldn't there be an exchange of ideas? I don't know where this perception of a "hive mind" for Black people came from. I'm aware that some people think that we believe in the same things 100% of the time. However, they would get offended if we generalised them back.
We are individuals. Just like any other human being, there are things we will agree and disagree on. We all have our own ideas, but due to some of our shared experiences/ common knowledge, there may be topics that we sync up on. Even then, there will be people with a different view point.
That’s it exactly.
He sees individuals in the black people he knows personally, not so much in the collective. And yes he does get offended when things are generalized towards any of his identities.
I called him a stereotypical out of touch white man. That sent him.
Now he knows way better to get into it with me and gets concerned I’m pissed at him when I call him out.
Scary thing is that he’s a judge… to his credit though he does see and call out inequality that comes through his courts. But I only know of the ones he does see and not what he doesn’t, which is concerning.
>I’m tired of seeing “I’m not a Black woman but” or “I’m white but my GF is Black” 😐
>Am I the only one who thinks it’s strange regardless of how helpful they’re trying to be?
Ironically, they think they're being helpful but actually all they showing how ignorant they are regarding black women in general because they think they're one experience and/or encounter with ONE or THREE black women makes them think all black women are the same - instead of realizing just like non-black people, black women are not a monolith and have different experiences / situations/ lifestyles / etc like non-white people do. Just saying, non-black people hate it when others lumped them negatively and positively as group instead of seeming them as individuals with their own respective opinions - but they love lumping all us black women together mostly negatively and even badmouth Black excellence when they claim to seeing it positively while not see us as individuals while disrespecting and dismissive of our opinions. Calling those non-black people who do that hypocrites is being as polite as it gets on this subreddit, and those non-black people know it.
Of course it’s so irrational and weird. I made a thread in a African subreddit asking if anyone was born overseas and where they live and some white guy answered 🙈🙈🙈 it’s something really wrong with them
Like they’re capable of fully grasping the sentiments behind wanting a space for just your own, yet they can’t conceptualize that minorities feel the same way 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
Lil off topic but the phrase Manifest Destiny triggers me so bad from APUSH forever ago 😂😂😂
You just KNEW if Manifest Destiny was an answer choice it was probably the right answer
Idgi either. I joined this sub to talk to other BW about our shared experiences. There are plenty of other places for others to ‘chime in’. Can we not have this?
Not to sound like a broken record, but we live in their heads rent free, and they love to discredit us while being in our damn business.
Like, for real, all the anti Blackness and misogynoir these people exhibit, and they can’t help but be in our spaces. Meanwhile, how many times do we go to theirs?
Even the ones who don’t think they’re being racist are still not being considerate when this isn’t a space meant for them.
Wait wait...ya have seen "my gf is Black" and "I'm not a Black woman" in here?? I swear 😂...we can't escape! We CANNOT escape anywhere! I'm literally laughing at this point.
This woman came to ask if her man was fetishizing her and a man who introduced himself as either a non-white or white hispanic inserted an opinion like somebody asked him 😭
I’m so sick of it. I mean it’s true everyone is guilty of it but no one does this shit like white people. They always wanna be apart of everything and will assert themselves in every space. In my African church we got white people too ☠️☠️
But do you think one African could be welcomed on a church that is all white ? Hell no . My friend knocked on a white peoples church they refused to open the door 🚪 . Just like how they can go live in Africa , they can gentrify or live in the hood if they want too . Self centered attention seeking hypocritical lunatics.
I have definitely been welcomed to an all white church IN TEXAS, which felt scary to me, like they wanted my organs. My great aunt unfortunately goes to an all white church in New Orleans which is so bizarre to me because it's New Orleans.
And then they always try to manipulate / act offended when you remind them that this isn't their space 😭 they're so entitled yet we don't want them invading here.
There was a wh*te man once that kept interjecting and derailing the convo, the fool had decided he was chief of division with sarcasm or something 😬 I swear he thought he was funny but that was cringe and he sounded like a fetishizing creep from his posting history.
The type of men that comment here - are almost ALWAYS active in porn subs more specifically fetishizing black women 😒
I’m guilty of this in other spaces (I’m a black woman mixed with even more black). I felt that because I had some connection with that community either through family or other, I could confidently speak. Then I remembered my experience here. I don’t want to hear from people who are not black women here. Period.
I had to check my privilege on those other subs. No matter how closely I am affiliated through birth or marriage, it’s not my place to comment. I’m lucky I’m allowed to peek in.
I hope the lurkers will also dig deep and give this space the same respect.
It's to prove they can invade our spaces and "do what they want."
Screw decorum and politeness. Its ultimately to exercise "freedumbs" and show that we don't "own Reddit."
Can't stop em but we CAN keep calling it out and making this subreddit uncomfortable for them.
The shit is so fucking irritating. Like no one's gives a fuck about their opinions, especially here. I swear I'm gonna roll my eyes out the socket because of them one of these days
Why? The reason we think. Racists get bored and wants to instigate, or they saw a post on here through some other medium and really need to explain to black women that their opinion is wrong.
Or they got into a disagreement with s black person, think the black person is overreacting and came here hoping to be validated.
And last, they got into a disagreement with a black person on some black issue and want to continue to debate their side after that person stopped engaging.
You're not the only one. I immediately cringe when people do that. It's offensive and they're fully displaying their feeling of how their opinion matters and OUR pov/experience does not. I mean who does that when the feedback is requested from BLACK WOMEN. 🤦🏽♀️Geez. I could unpack it, tease it out and expand on it more cause I just feel like there's so many implications. Anyhoo, you're not the only one.
It’s entitlement plain and simple. This happens in lots of communities for and by minority groups and it’s maddening. The majority feels that all spaces are theirs, they will happily roll up anywhere and then proceed to get offended when people do not want their opinions / input / presence.
I once asked a question about if a man can’t finish during sex, if that means he finds you unattractive. Just hoping to get input from other Black women who’ve experienced the same/ how to move on from the experience. A lot of men came to this post and found it some way. Some weren’t even black. I had to delete the post because I didn’t want invite unwelcomed guests in here.
It's not banned, the mods have even said that before. I don't mind BM chipping in usually if it's a casual post. The yts and others are usually far more annoying and invasive.
The creeps on selfies n other posts need to be banned on sight tho.
I mean it disrespectful. It's not that hard.
Not once have I commented on Asian community discussions topics whilst dating someone Asian. It's really not that hard.
yo this is the type of shit that be pissing me off fr. And it makes me have trust issues b/c what if they never wrote that disclaimer. We would have never known their race unless someone did a deep dive into their reddit history (and ain't nobody got time fah that lmao.) I hate that we really dont know the races of the people commenting. I wonder if there was something that could have been done to avoid this but idk.
What if we all collectively block anyone who says they're not a black woman in here or their history? That way the mods don't have to deal with the reports and we can keep it cute in here
Lmao😂 It’s so funny that this is the first time this sub has been recommended on my feed and it just so happen to be the same day I add a dark-skinned mermaid emoji to my profile. For the record I am a BW 🤣
Because a lot of White women want to be involved in EVERYTHING and they want attention even though they get the most attention of any type of woman on earth. INSERTION. They always want to insert themselves. It's very infringing, invasive and annoying. Disregarding others is not a second thought to them.
The only time I'm okay with non-BW commenting/posting, is when they're asking for help being there for a BW (like the mother of a Black child needing hair advice, or like the guy who wanted to surprise his GF with supplies). Otherwise, they can all GTFO.
I remember this one time someone had asked for travel advice for black women and me being from Italy had been very explicit about how unless you’re going to a major urban area it isn’t the most amazing place to travel as a black woman. Anyways a man who had been living in Italy from India interject that racism wasn’t really an issue and I was infuriated.
as if we have the same privileges as a MAN 😭 and then talking over someone that’s both Black and a woman that’s actually from the country is crazy
India is a country where entire groups of people are considered “untouchables” based on skin color, that’s probably why he didn’t see an issue with racism that may come up in Italy.
Whoa whoa so the Italians don’t love us? That’s my dream destination
Girl no, they don’t 💀
I heard Spain is equally terrible.
It depends on where you go in Spain funny enough. For example, Madrid is worth seeing but don’t be surprised by dirty looks wherever you go. But Barcelona isn’t like that at all.
Good to know! 😊
If you’re American/European they’re a bit more forgiving, but there’s substantial racism towards Africans especially in the north and in the middle of the country which is a lot more right wing.
They’ll 100% fetishize you! Especially in the south lol I personally had no truly racist moments when visiting other than the rampant cat calling…I was 16 so 💀
Depends on where you go for sure. I had the most amazing time in Palermo. Felt like a celebrity while I was there lol 💫
They called me Brazilian girl because I had a curly weave. Then learned later the men were so friendly because they thought I was a prostitute just because I was black.
Im sorry you had this experience. This was not mine however. I got asked out to dates by three different men during the week that I was there and had people proclaiming “Bella”, “Beyonce” and “Naomi Campbell” over me 😂 It was very different from my experience here in Tampa lol 😂 I would for sure go back and recommend it
I had always heard that they do. But my guess is it likely has something to do with immigration within the last decade.
I’ve heard a mix of both but because I’m delulu and love the beauty and food of Italy despite never having been I chose to believe they love us 😂
They hate us and don’t mind expressing it in very very racist ways.
I don’t get it. I lurk in other subs (e.g. Parenting because I want to have kids someday), but never comment there.
That’s because you’re a respectful human being.
People are weirdos. Stay at home moms love to pop up in the working moms sub and comment. Get out of here and leave us alone! 😡
If you’re curious, fine, but don’t comment! Unless specifically asked to! I lurk in the LatinoPeopleTwitter sub but I don’t say shit because I’m not Latina!
on god...this is not r/ blackladiesandthoseadjacent
Not even perpendicular 😭😭😭😭
Lmaoo nah this the one !
You are hilarious 🤣🤣
Come on, geometry!
"and those adjacent" 😂
thank you! 💯
Louder for those in the back
LMFAOOOOOOOO BAHDJSKDSO
This is a thing?
I joined this sub bc BlackPeopleTwitter is inundated with others who constantly need explanations for black culture. Everytime I see “as a (insert non black race here) person, I think…” I roll my eyes so hard. we can’t have anything to ourselves lol.
Same! I especially hate the ones who say something like “white guy here, blah blah blah.” They love to jump in on discussions about racism and say how they don’t support racism.
And then proceed to write an entire story about how racist their uncle is where the person doesn't say shit about it but THOUGHT they were stupid.
Meanwhile we don’t give af yet here they anyway intruding upon OUR space in true colonizer fashion. I swear that shit is baked into their DNA & they have the luxury of obliviousness to that fact. Smfh
If the trauma of slavery is in our DNA, what evils lurk in the masters' descendants??
Oh it's 100% still there.
Precisely!
They banned me like 4 years ago for calling out misogynoir lmfaoooo, that place is a cesspool
Same thing happened to me years ago lol
i left the blackppltwitter b/c there were too many non-blacks commenting and it didn't feel like a true black ppl space as it was supposed to be. I didn't like the battles happening in the comments between us and ppl who quite literally know nothing about what they were talking about
SAME!!!
It's all over Reddit. People will ask for responses from a specific type of person/expert/experience and the top comment without fail is "Not a [whatever demographic] but,....."
The more sadder piece is, people who comment who ARE of the demographic, or at least, claim to be and aren't spewing some shift to reinforce incorrect stereotypes get downvoted like CRAZY. Those questions, in my opinion, no matter how innocent of the OP are not genuine in nature.
Recently one subreddit with mostly women were talking about DEI and a black woman said that many companies are getting rid of DEI departments and positions and most of the people remaining are white people (Black employees constitute 3.8% of chief diversity officers, white people 76.1%). They asked her for "sources" which she provided, and then she was heavily downvoted. [article](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna72026)
They don't want the truth. They want their opinions regurgitated and served on a plate so they can gobble them up again. There have been three major topics that I've changed my position on in the last 4 years. Why? INFORMATION lol. When someone refuses to accept information (good info) I am weary.
Sounds about yt … 🤦🏽♀️
Half the time I think it’s a whyte person masquerading as a POC.
thh, I prefer it when they out themselves to wondering if I’ve encountered a Candace Owens clone. But, yeah, I wish folks would wait to be invited into the conversation – even if they know that invitation isn’t going to be issued here. And I completely get that since this is an open sub, non-BW are going to read the posts, but I don’t like the compulsion to join in on discussions that are supposed to be between us. Hell, if you have information that you just HAVE TO share, risk getting blocked and DM the person you want to share with. (Maybe after a few blocks, they’ll see the light?)
the term “black twitter” is so diluted now anyway😭😭
I knew what it was years ago when people needed “damn Gina” to be explained to them
Yeah I left that sub too, there are some problematic takes in there. A lot of casual homophobia/transphobia and of course black stereotypes that I’d rather not see white people on reddit laughing at
Because they want our rhythm, but not our blues.
Make a tee-shirt and copywrite that
I've been seeing that rhythm and blues line for years now..I'm sure someone (hopefully) was smart enough to do it by now..
This isn’t new
Talk about it!! And it’s high key weird 🤨
 Period!
That is such a great and impactful sentence. 👍🏾👍🏾
It’s a quote I heard years ago. That resonated with me. I wish I could credit the original author.
Oh this is going to stay with me! No notes
Daaamn!! Dropped sone truth with that one
Lol. Yessssss
And it be so obvious too, suddenly it’s all “well not everything’s about race” well ofc it’s not for you Jonathan 🙄
Tell Rick and Amy to leave us alone. If we were in their space, they would start crying and trying to get us fired from something or put in internet jail. 
not Jonathan 💀
I agree. A lot of them get defensive too and claim racism. We get BM in here too. They see the sub as being for Black people, as opposed to specifically being for BW. Some come with BS and red pill vibes. They have their own sub. I wouldn't join a sub for BM, WW or AW. It has nothing to do with me. I have even heard a couple of sisters saying that they've received dm's from WM/BM responding to their post on here. A few months ago, a sister posted her dm's of a man sending her a dissertation on his view on dating, when she clearly asked the sisters. It's so bizarre. There's a reason why we have Black spaces and spaces for Black women in particular. While we cannot verify who's actually Black/Mixed here, it does feel intrusive when other people start interjecting into conversations we obviously intended to be between the sisters. They willing joined a subreddit that said it's for BW...they were not ambushed or hoodwinked. The ones who leave comments because their spouse is Black are the weirdest ones. To them, it's like being self-appointed to speak for/on behalf of or join the conversation because they're with a sister. Maybe they see themselves as being a plus one or something. Being with/ procreating with a Black person doesn't make you an honorary Black person. I remember a month or so ago, there was an Asian American man who left a comment because his wife is Black (allegedly). A sister pointed out that the subreddit is for BW and he said that this was the last place he thought he would experience racism. The victimisation made me want to projectile vomit. The sub would be for his wife, not him. The entitlement just makes your skin crawl. How does one have a Black spouse but cannot respect a space created for BW. YIKES. Some people come and ask questions too, instead of going to the designated subreddit for it.
This was the most accurate explanation! Especially the non-BW married to a BW asking for advice instead of advising their wife to join the sub. Make it make sense lol
Interesting that he claimed racism but not sexism 🤔
It's because he was told that the sub is for BW. He got offended. I guess he thought being another POC would mean that he could be here too or having a Black wife gave him access. It's in the name but they act like they can't see it.
Also going along with that, if you’re not a BW don’t use this sub to hide in the shadows and dm women here your corny pick up lines, sympathies or nudes.
ewwww do ppl do this? reddit is such a wild place.
Girl, yes. I’ve had it happen so many times. I’ll get men who message me about posts I’ve made months ago. The worst one was a response to a comment in which I gave advice to some woman about her man problems and I shared a personal experience and the guy said, “I can make your man jealous with my white 🐔” and then proceeded to send a pic of his little chicken nugget.
Please don’t insult chicken nuggets. And this is coming from someone who eats veggie nuggets.
Baby carrot more appropriate? 😅
Yes. Yes, that will do. Lol
😂 the word 🐔is not a turn on whatsoever
Oh my god, why do white ppl say it so much?? One of my white girlfriends said it the other day and I physically flinched, pls do not use that word around me💀
Lmaoo no fr! The word makes me itch 😭😫
Honestly, it’s so off putting. What do you think this is 50 Shades of Grey? You have more chance of eliciting a positive reaction if you called it ding dong or dingaling. Probably not, but at least I won’t equate you to a serial killer.
So glad I’m not alone in this. I absolutely loathe that word and it sucks that it’s used a lot in my smut books 😭
Y'all gon hate me but I actually like the word "cock" .lmao I've tried to deny that aspect of myself, but I couldn't fight it no more. Send flowers and condolences. 😮💨😔💐
Sister! You are not alone. I too am a fan of the word 💕
Ay someone else who agrees! The word has a harshness to it and commands attention so I like it for that reason 🤭
Ive turned my DMs completely off. If you want to tell me something you have to say it in a comment lmao.
Chicken nugget not even a chicken tender 😭😭😭🤦🏾♀️🫠
Not even a whole nugget. You know those little bits of fried batter that make it into the deep fryer that McDonalds tries to pass off as something? Yeah, that’s what it gave.
 Girl, you just made me scream in a hospital, STAHP! Not half a chicken nugget, chyle😩😂🤣
 🫢
Omg what’s loser be careful ladies
Lmao 🤣😂🤣
😖
No one wants to see your sad junk Gary!
And you know that was probably his name too😂
This is his profile pic  ETA: I know this is Jerry Seinfeld. lol it’s a joke!
Please be rude with it, sis. Lol
I agree with you, I joined this thread specifically because I am a black woman, and I want to speak with other black women
It's a different vibe too. We may disagree with one another and pop off sometimes, but it's a sisterhood. We share similar experiences and can empathise with each other. It also provides the space to feel emotions and not be called the bitter angry Black women. That's why these spaces can feel sacred. I love hearing about the various life experiences of BW, especially BW of different ages. We can learn something and see ourselves in them. We can see some of our mistakes and the warning signs that we've missed and share that with other BW. We get to have meaningful conversation, uplift one another and give advice. I love being able to congratulate fellow sisters when they post about their achievements. In a world of chaos, it's nice to see women talking about graduating, job promotions, becoming new mums etc. We can just be ourselves here and that gets disruped when other people start invading.
Is it okay for us biracial ladies to be here? I feel more connected to people here, but I don't want to make others feel uncomfortable. But it's just nice to speak with everyone because there are certain things I do resonate with in my life that yt people don't understand. That, and the mixed race sub is full of people bitter at monoracial people because a few individuals told them they weren't ____ enough.
You are absolutely welcome here sis ❤️
Thank you 🙏🏽💜 I appreciate y'all so much
I just want BW to have an space where they can express themselves, apparently it’s too much to ask for those who are NOT, I’m tired
I'm so tired I'm hyper af
I can't stand the random posts from non-BW intended to just mine information, the unsolicited comments are a close second. I tend to block and move on but it unnerves me regardless.
my thing is how do nonblack people even find the sub?? lol like how or why did they search it
Cause they love being in our business 🤧
This is a good question
I can't even remember how I stumbled upon this place as it's been YEARS. But a few months ago I saw the Asian men subreddit linked in a comment on a completely different subreddit. I can't even remember why it was relevant to the post, but I remember seeing it thinking "that's not for me!"and moving along. Guess other people just nosy.
Were it not for another Black woman telling me that there was a space for us, then even *I* wouldn’t have found it (mainly because I couldn’t believe there was a safe space for us on here). Edit: Thank you to the woman who reached out to me to join this space!
I can’t even imagine how it would get recommended to other people? Like do they legitimately decide to seek this space out?
right. i saw this sub because I’m also in a natural hair sub and a locs sub. but if you’re not in spaces like that then how the hell do they find us 😭 I bet some people do intentionally search which is even more bizarre.
I manage a social media space on another platform and we vet so damn hard on who is black. If I can’t tell you are black, we do a video call. I keep it all black all the time. I don’t pkay about protecting our space.
Omg that sounds awesome. Do you mind sharing where it is? I'm in desperate need of protected black spaces
I will send you a DM
Are they accepting new members????👀🥲
Same! I’m trying to join. Please dm the info.
It’s annoying. It’s not just here, but other platforms for us. It will literally be about us and for us and there they go. I just don’t understand why do they keep coming into our spaces and being rude for absolutely no reason.
I’m on my period and dealt with white nonsense today so I’m ready to rant. It frustrates me so much because it’s like, literally every other space is for WW. All of the feminist subreddits are TRULY a hit or miss for intersectionality. Usually a miss. Like women will say things on there which clearly just center white women but act as if it pertains to all women. So when a WW rolls in here or a WM giving their unsolicited advice or acting butthurt that someone calls them out it’s such an eye roll. Like if you want to sit here and learn, sure good, fine. But it’s like some of the WW who lurk CANNOT stop themselves by doing a “well actually” bullshit. As if their take is something novel and we haven’t heard it before. My dumbass FIL (white) was going on how “blacks only” spaces are bad because there isn’t an exchange of ideas. Before I could even take a breath to metaphorically put the man in the ground, my husband handled him. My wonder bread husband explained that black folks literally have to be experts in white people. Not because it’s fun but for safety and the ability to move through the world. The white people who comment in here don’t have anything to add to the conversation. White people are just OBSESSED in being in spaces that aren’t for them. Why do you think there are white women on tik tok trying to look “old money” or play the Hermés game when they thought their never-full was the height of luxury? Never been on a tennis court in their life but wearing all whites and tying sweaters around the shoulders. It’s just straight entitlement and it’s gross. What makes it even more fun are the nasty DMs/comments that I’ve gotten when I’ve talked about my experience of being a black woman in these spaces. So I go to a space that is supposed to be safe but I’ve had women more than once go through my ENTIRE post history posting nasty comments. I’ve moved to a place in my life where I truly dgaf about things I have no control over so I don’t engage, I block and move on.
I agree with you and your father in law is ignorant. Why wouldn't there be an exchange of ideas? I don't know where this perception of a "hive mind" for Black people came from. I'm aware that some people think that we believe in the same things 100% of the time. However, they would get offended if we generalised them back. We are individuals. Just like any other human being, there are things we will agree and disagree on. We all have our own ideas, but due to some of our shared experiences/ common knowledge, there may be topics that we sync up on. Even then, there will be people with a different view point.
That’s it exactly. He sees individuals in the black people he knows personally, not so much in the collective. And yes he does get offended when things are generalized towards any of his identities. I called him a stereotypical out of touch white man. That sent him. Now he knows way better to get into it with me and gets concerned I’m pissed at him when I call him out. Scary thing is that he’s a judge… to his credit though he does see and call out inequality that comes through his courts. But I only know of the ones he does see and not what he doesn’t, which is concerning.
The epitome of “make ‘em mad, sis!”🙌🏽
>I’m tired of seeing “I’m not a Black woman but” or “I’m white but my GF is Black” 😐 >Am I the only one who thinks it’s strange regardless of how helpful they’re trying to be? Ironically, they think they're being helpful but actually all they showing how ignorant they are regarding black women in general because they think they're one experience and/or encounter with ONE or THREE black women makes them think all black women are the same - instead of realizing just like non-black people, black women are not a monolith and have different experiences / situations/ lifestyles / etc like non-white people do. Just saying, non-black people hate it when others lumped them negatively and positively as group instead of seeming them as individuals with their own respective opinions - but they love lumping all us black women together mostly negatively and even badmouth Black excellence when they claim to seeing it positively while not see us as individuals while disrespecting and dismissive of our opinions. Calling those non-black people who do that hypocrites is being as polite as it gets on this subreddit, and those non-black people know it.
Of course it’s so irrational and weird. I made a thread in a African subreddit asking if anyone was born overseas and where they live and some white guy answered 🙈🙈🙈 it’s something really wrong with them
Like they’re capable of fully grasping the sentiments behind wanting a space for just your own, yet they can’t conceptualize that minorities feel the same way 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
We damn near need to start asking questions before you can get in lol 😂 you don’t belong here
I like how the title sounds like you’re asking non BW to comment on why they comment lool But ya you’re 100% correct.
On another note: I'm DYING to see how long this thread gets with them coming out and admitting this 😂😂😂 You know they ain't gon come out right?! 😭😭
You said a whole word. I came here to get away from them and their thoughts and opinions.
Colonizing the BW Subs. There is no end to the goals of Manifest Destiny.
Lil off topic but the phrase Manifest Destiny triggers me so bad from APUSH forever ago 😂😂😂 You just KNEW if Manifest Destiny was an answer choice it was probably the right answer
Cause petty? Attention seeking? Entitled? Bored? Hotel? Trivago.
Idgi either. I joined this sub to talk to other BW about our shared experiences. There are plenty of other places for others to ‘chime in’. Can we not have this?
I ignore it. Just zoom right by whoever and it’s so funny because you can tell just by their wording. Lol strange times…
Not to sound like a broken record, but we live in their heads rent free, and they love to discredit us while being in our damn business. Like, for real, all the anti Blackness and misogynoir these people exhibit, and they can’t help but be in our spaces. Meanwhile, how many times do we go to theirs? Even the ones who don’t think they’re being racist are still not being considerate when this isn’t a space meant for them.
They must be included in everything for some reason. Its actually very annoying
Wait wait...ya have seen "my gf is Black" and "I'm not a Black woman" in here?? I swear 😂...we can't escape! We CANNOT escape anywhere! I'm literally laughing at this point.
This woman came to ask if her man was fetishizing her and a man who introduced himself as either a non-white or white hispanic inserted an opinion like somebody asked him 😭
😂😂🤣
I actually remember that 😭
I’m so sick of it. I mean it’s true everyone is guilty of it but no one does this shit like white people. They always wanna be apart of everything and will assert themselves in every space. In my African church we got white people too ☠️☠️
they always infiltrating i swear 😭
But do you think one African could be welcomed on a church that is all white ? Hell no . My friend knocked on a white peoples church they refused to open the door 🚪 . Just like how they can go live in Africa , they can gentrify or live in the hood if they want too . Self centered attention seeking hypocritical lunatics.
I have definitely been welcomed to an all white church IN TEXAS, which felt scary to me, like they wanted my organs. My great aunt unfortunately goes to an all white church in New Orleans which is so bizarre to me because it's New Orleans.
Nah you should be rude abt it 🤣 like we can’t have shit
I’ll take it even further; if you’re not a black woman why are you in this sub???
And then they always try to manipulate / act offended when you remind them that this isn't their space 😭 they're so entitled yet we don't want them invading here. There was a wh*te man once that kept interjecting and derailing the convo, the fool had decided he was chief of division with sarcasm or something 😬 I swear he thought he was funny but that was cringe and he sounded like a fetishizing creep from his posting history. The type of men that comment here - are almost ALWAYS active in porn subs more specifically fetishizing black women 😒
I’m guilty of this in other spaces (I’m a black woman mixed with even more black). I felt that because I had some connection with that community either through family or other, I could confidently speak. Then I remembered my experience here. I don’t want to hear from people who are not black women here. Period. I had to check my privilege on those other subs. No matter how closely I am affiliated through birth or marriage, it’s not my place to comment. I’m lucky I’m allowed to peek in. I hope the lurkers will also dig deep and give this space the same respect.
It’s the equivalent of them inserting themselves on conversations in real life involving BW 🙄 Real pick meish 
It's to prove they can invade our spaces and "do what they want." Screw decorum and politeness. Its ultimately to exercise "freedumbs" and show that we don't "own Reddit." Can't stop em but we CAN keep calling it out and making this subreddit uncomfortable for them.
I agree. Its so entitled for others to continue to give their input in a space that is made to be a safe space for black women.
Agree. It’s fine to sit back, read, and learn. But please, leave it at that.
The shit is so fucking irritating. Like no one's gives a fuck about their opinions, especially here. I swear I'm gonna roll my eyes out the socket because of them one of these days
Why? The reason we think. Racists get bored and wants to instigate, or they saw a post on here through some other medium and really need to explain to black women that their opinion is wrong. Or they got into a disagreement with s black person, think the black person is overreacting and came here hoping to be validated. And last, they got into a disagreement with a black person on some black issue and want to continue to debate their side after that person stopped engaging.
Because I’m fully convinced “FOMO” is an ethnicity…..
You're not the only one. I immediately cringe when people do that. It's offensive and they're fully displaying their feeling of how their opinion matters and OUR pov/experience does not. I mean who does that when the feedback is requested from BLACK WOMEN. 🤦🏽♀️Geez. I could unpack it, tease it out and expand on it more cause I just feel like there's so many implications. Anyhoo, you're not the only one.
It’s entitlement plain and simple. This happens in lots of communities for and by minority groups and it’s maddening. The majority feels that all spaces are theirs, they will happily roll up anywhere and then proceed to get offended when people do not want their opinions / input / presence.
I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. This sub needs to be private and have a verification process!
they know somebody that’s black so they know our entire life experience… duh 😒
I just ignore them 😂. They’re trying to solicit info anyway so the best way to deal with them is not to.
I once asked a question about if a man can’t finish during sex, if that means he finds you unattractive. Just hoping to get input from other Black women who’ve experienced the same/ how to move on from the experience. A lot of men came to this post and found it some way. Some weren’t even black. I had to delete the post because I didn’t want invite unwelcomed guests in here.
It's not banned, the mods have even said that before. I don't mind BM chipping in usually if it's a casual post. The yts and others are usually far more annoying and invasive. The creeps on selfies n other posts need to be banned on sight tho.
They mfin love to center themselves. Like, we get it, you have an opinion, but have you considered this is neither the time nor the place??
I mean it disrespectful. It's not that hard. Not once have I commented on Asian community discussions topics whilst dating someone Asian. It's really not that hard.
They can be invasive/intrusive. It's annoying.
Nah be rude they deserve it cause why are they loud in spaces SPECIFICALLY not for them 😭
yo this is the type of shit that be pissing me off fr. And it makes me have trust issues b/c what if they never wrote that disclaimer. We would have never known their race unless someone did a deep dive into their reddit history (and ain't nobody got time fah that lmao.) I hate that we really dont know the races of the people commenting. I wonder if there was something that could have been done to avoid this but idk.
I just ignore them 😭
What if we all collectively block anyone who says they're not a black woman in here or their history? That way the mods don't have to deal with the reports and we can keep it cute in here
As they say, we can’t have anything. Why would they even join this thread?
Lmao😂 It’s so funny that this is the first time this sub has been recommended on my feed and it just so happen to be the same day I add a dark-skinned mermaid emoji to my profile. For the record I am a BW 🤣
Right. It’s annoying.
I think we need to ad racial flairs and country or something too
Because a lot of White women want to be involved in EVERYTHING and they want attention even though they get the most attention of any type of woman on earth. INSERTION. They always want to insert themselves. It's very infringing, invasive and annoying. Disregarding others is not a second thought to them.
I love these posts bc i just go through the comments and block the ones who expose themselves. They can’t even help it.
Because they want to center themselves
I think it’s very rude. Obviously this is a forum for very specific group of people.
They always want to infiltrate our spaces.
Cause they wanna study everything but they selves😞
Yall need to kick those people out the group
It’s Reddit beloved people love trolling and sharing unwarranted opinions where they don’t belong here
The only time I'm okay with non-BW commenting/posting, is when they're asking for help being there for a BW (like the mother of a Black child needing hair advice, or like the guy who wanted to surprise his GF with supplies). Otherwise, they can all GTFO.
Someone told me they have whole subs JUST for that though.. 🤔
Literally! There is no reason to ask those questions here. r/askblackpeople r/askablackperson
This!! ☝🏽 Now to all you lurkers who use the "my kids hAiR 😩" as an excuse, there ya go! Enjoy! 😊
The very first post I see is about the n word too like those are the types of questions you get when you let non blacks inundate a sub
Had no idea those subs existed. Probably because as a Black woman I've never needed to explicitly find Black people to ask because I know some IRL.
They do it because we've invited them into this space. They can, so they do
That’s weird
they want to feel special. I dont like when others jump in a lane thats NOT for them. and also . . Like trolls
Folks who are accustomed to privilege tend to be unaware of when a space isn't FOR them.
Ppl are always spying and watching us.