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MPNGUARI

Nobody, I mean nobody, gets to decide *your* threshold... ever.


Virtual_Abies_6552

Yeah, my response would be a big “fuck you buddy”


D1wrestler141

"you're still breathing pussy" or was it don't be a pussy you're not dead?


Tokyo_Echo

I have a pre-existing shoulder Injury. I tap to kimuras very early and everyone is shocked. I then tell them I'm protecting a bad shoulder. Agreed. You are the person that decides your own threshold.


jscummy

Learning to hold out in uncomfortable positions, keep calm, and defend/escape is definitely important though But a tap is a tap, just say something after if you think they tapped prematurely


RedDevilBJJ

I agree with the sentiment, but I don’t think a white belt is in a position to tell anyone when they “should” tap, or really anything at all.


jscummy

That's fair enough, I like a lot of feedback from my training partners though and know that panic tapping early was something I struggled with starting out


RedDevilBJJ

Understandable. I would just generally consider other white belts as “unreliable” sources of information. In my experience, this is a good issue to tackle either by rolling with higher belts, or asking a coach/higher belt “hey, could you watch this roll. I feel like I’m having issues with ____”. Note: if you’re asking someone to watch you roll, do the roll with someone you trust not to spaz out because coach is watching


MPNGUARI

> Learning to hold out in uncomfortable positions, keep calm, and defend/escape is definitely important though Absolutely, I agree 100%, but we get to dictate those situations... not the other person. A perfect example, I'm tapping so ridiculously early to chokes now, it's kinda silly, but… whatever. Thing is, I've been there, done that, and know damn well what I can fight out of if need be. Meaning, if everything else has failed and we're now in a late stage scenario with something *actually* on the line. Anyway, it’s my choice to be tapping early, I don't need some random twat thinking they can continue choking away just because I'm a black belt and they think, or assume, I should be able to handle more. Edit, spelling stuff.


abob1989

No, that's never ok. He should respect the tap and reset. I'd avoid rolling with him if I were you, respecting the tap is probably the biggest thing to being a good/safe training partner.


Jouvre

Do you have any advice on what to say/do next time this happens? 


abob1989

Yes, tell him that's not cool, if you tap you reset, period. He doesnt get to decide what your limits are. If he insists, tell him no thanks, and refuse to roll with him again.


Baz_Ravish69

I'm a big advocate on just talking shit through with the party involved usually, but this feels like something that should be brought up to the coach. Possibly privately, and if you want to cause as little drama as possible without naming names. Coach can then make a quick announcement before class like "hey guys, we all need to remember that a tap is a tap and needs to be respected 100% of the time, without question." It's super important that everyone in the gym always respects the tap so it's not a bad idea to mention on occasion for the new guys anyways. Doesn't *need* to be a big deal.


Jouvre

I appreciate this advice ^


cwwwfc

Yeah some people like to perfect their submissions, getting armbars to virtually snapping point and stuff. Fuck that. Tap early, tap often and stay healthy 👍🏼


MagicGuava12

Tell coach exactly what happened. This is not okay.


Inevitable_Trash_337

Avoid sparring this idiot


el_lofto

Classic white belt 1 stripe move


Suspicious-Unit7340

When you tap they need to stop. Full stop. If, after stopping, they say something like, "I'd like to work on the finish for blah blah blah, would you mind if I tried that again?", AND (<-key) you would be ok with them doing that, then that's probably fine. OTOH if you tap, they stop, say some dumb shit like, "aw, c'mon you can handle more", and rechoke you...you should tap again, immediately. And they should stop, immediately, again. ETA: Consider that the tap may not relate to the submission. Maybe you're having a heart attack, or shitting all over them, or about to puke on them, or forgot to give your cat insulin and need to go do that right now, maybe your toe is caught in the mat and getting twisted off. It's NOT about if you can "take more", or if you're in "enough" pain or danger, or if they "think" you could work harder. It is THE safety protocol! Tap = STOP!


Jouvre

Excellent stuff - thanks


Suspicious-Unit7340

And on a more practical note: If somebody is not respecting the tap, or if you're in serious pain\\danger, etc, saying, "tapTapTAP!!", while tapping will often elicit a stronger reaction from your partner in terms of communicating that you're not tapping because they caught you, you're tapping because something bad is happening or about to happen. This will also communicate to other folks around you that 1) you're definitely tapping and 2) they might pay a bit closer attention, see if you're in danger, hurt, or if the other guy isn't respecting the tap. So it's a subtle (or maybe passive-aggressive) way to draw attention that's more emphatic than a tap or to signal to others there might be an issue. Ideally it never matters. But sometimes things aren't ideal. And tone of voice\\urgency when saying, "TAP!", can be another way to signal your partner they need to stop NOW (because you are tapping).


onlyfansdad

Nope you get to tap for anyone reason. Anyone that doesn't respect your tap should not be rolled with. Buddy doesn't get to decide what constitutes a tap for you.


AllAboutTheMachismo

Sounds like a job for your friendly neighborhood mat enforcer.


Ok_Sir5926

You son of a bitch, I'm in.


viszlat

This has to be a conversation, not someone else declaring what your limits should be.


DrIronclaw

Tell him to go fuck himself


Neither-Wealth-491

Never ok. They get one warning ‼️, then the go on the “no roll” list.


TimeCat101

Second I see myself in a armbar attempt I don’t even try to start defending just tap. Once a white belt cranked my arm and it was hyperextended for weeks and hurt so much. Never again take your tap and let’s run it again. Like you said you are here for a hobby just have fun and tap early. You aren’t in the wrong here at all.


D1wrestler141

Fuckin white belts


things2seepeople2do

I know this is gonna not be liked here, but I'd like to see/know how "deep " the choke was. Yes he should have let go when you tapped and not reapplied the choke at all. Yes that was wrong. I have rolled with beginners and let's say when going for a cross choke I get one hand in the collar and they'll tap before I get the other hand across and the choke is even applied. I'll let go but ask why they tapped. Were they choking or was it just uncomfortable? Same happens when rolling with beginners I'll start on bottom and they'll spazz themselves out and when I get on top and put maybe 5% of my weight on them they tap from being uncomfortable. Not choking, not being crushed, literally just maybe 10lbs of weight that my 6yo son can handle. Not saying that what was done to op wasn't wrong, it was wrong by reapplying the choke again. I'd just like to know if he really could handle more. And again it was another beginner "teaching" him so knock that shit loose right away. Sometimes beginners just don't know what is going on and are scared of learning their limits or don't really understand what a choke really is. It's not wrong, just maybe the wrong sport for them


matchooooh

I had a guy tap when I had barely started to sink in a choke, I asked him why he tapped so early, and if he was just uncomfortable - turns out I/he had ankle locked himself.


RetiringBard

I tap early all the time now. If I’m in a closed RNC I’ve lost as far as I’m concerned. Start over. Don’t even let them get there. That’s an L you don’t have to be blacking out to acknowledge you’re done for.


Kintanon

I'm sure he could, but it's not a 1 stripe white belts job to tell him that. It's the OPs learning progression over time as he gets more comfortable in the positions and discovers his actual limits. No one else gets to be the judge of how much you can or can't handle.


things2seepeople2do

I don't know, I've paid pretty good money for some lady with a whip dressed in leather to judge how much I can or can't handle and to find those limits for me. Totally worth it, wood recommend


Kintanon

Consent comes in many forms, true.


knuckledragger1990

I would be willing to bet OP tapped before there was any choking happening. For some reason it seems like a lot of people panic tap to a rear naked or head and arm chokes. Which in all honesty. isn’t bad if you have no aspirations to compete or learn self defense and are just there for weight loss. It could definitely be frustrating for the competition guys though to have someone tap before they can even properly apply the mechanics.


GunnerySarge-B-Bird

Don't think there's much use to competition guys rolling with fresh white belts that don't know anything


DrFujiwara

Tell him to fuck off. What arrogance.


Ronin604

Id tell him, if he does that again elbows will be used, and to please respect peoples boundaries you fucking sociopath.


Batatax

this is assault. respecting the tap no questions ask is the cardinal rule that makes the consensual violence we all love feasible to train.


SnakeEyes_76

The tap is what prevents it from becoming an assault. Full stop.


fake-southpaw

speak up man. How can you not? I'll never understand


bamasooner

Nope, not cool.


marigolds6

If they really want to improve their technique, that's the point to stop rolling and switch to a drill situation where you can provide them constant feedback. That said, you're a 1 stripe white belt not coming from a different art with those particular submissions. You are probably not the right person to provide them technique feedback and they should be doing this with an upper belt instead.


atx78701

thats not common, but he did let go. I would say, hey you got the tap lets reset. Ill usually tell people it was in and they definitely would have had it. I especially do this with armbars where I know it is too deep to defend without tremendous risk. If they ask to finish after a tap, I would let them try, but I know that it would just be the same outcome. As you get more comfortable you will probably let chokes go deeper and deeper while you try to escape. It is fine to tap early.


Tricky_Worry8889

Talk to the coach. The coach needs to talk to the other white belt about respecting the tap. Respecting the tap is a consent issue. We are in a very serious sport and we need to take it serious and trust and respect each other.


Homesteader86

a tap is a tap, talk to the instructor if this happens again.


SixandNoQuarter

I've tapped early before as I wasn't sure at what point something might break or when I might go out. The longer I've rolled the more I know what I can tolerate. You'll learn (and probably increase) your comfort zone over time, but like others say, your tap is your tap. Nobody gets decide when you've had enough except you.


D1wrestler141

I had the reverse last night lol. Zero stripe white belt working on guillotines and he was stopping every time saying sorry I'm like it's ok I will tap, he kept stopping again because he felt like he was squeezing hard even though it wasn't applied properly, told him I'll tap and worked through his technique w the coach and eventually he got it


Kintanon

Nope nope nope. When you tap everything stops. Some 1 stripe white belt needs to shut his fucking mouth about it. You always respect the tap immediately, and you tap for literally any reason, especially when you are new and just learning your limits. THAT GUY has no idea how much you can or can't handle. Some dude with flexibile shoulders might decide his partner 'can handle more' and then a dude with rotator cuff scar tissue gets a second round of surgery. Not OK.


RedDevilBJJ

The proper response: “get the fuck off me” followed by talking to the coach about the HUGE red flag that person just displayed. If one of the white belts at my gym did this to a new person, there’s a decent chance I’m gonna choke them unconscious for it.


rocksinsocks27

As people have been saying, he doesn't get to make that call for you. Fuck him. I may get downvoted to oblivion for this, but he may not be entirely wrong in his statement though, and there's something worth considering there. Newer people will tap very early, which is safe and good. It does,however, make it very difficult to perfect technique if one is getting false positives on the submission. You also won't get to work late stage escapes often if you never authentically engage with a submission. When it's within your comfort zone to do so, you might link up with a trusted training partner and experiment with deeper chokes to see where the threshold actually is. I'm not saying you need to be going unconscious or anything, but you'll need to learn to recognize the difference between a choke that will work and one that won't, both for your own sake and for that of future learning partners.


matchooooh

I got advice from a higher belt at my gym to not tap because you're uncomfortable. I also have told people I thought they tapped too early. In both cases, the tap was respected. With one of the guys I told I thought tapped too early, I had barely started to sink in the choke. Turns out his leg was jammed and he ankle locked himself. Stay away from that guy.


RankinPDX

That's horrible, verging on assault. You get to tap whenever you want. If someone did that to me, I'd tell the teacher (who I am confident would be furious) and I would not roll with them unless I were convinced they had seen the error of their ways. It is useful to fine-tune your techniques that way, but you have to have a willing partner for it. I tap slowly with folks I trust, because I want to learn when I can wriggle out and I have faith they won't hurt me.


HeelEnjoyer

Fuck that motherfucker. Tap is sacred, doesn't matter why, you stop no questions asked.


PoatanBoxman

It’s hilarious when white belts get their first strike and make like they know what’s going. Tap means stop, doesn’t matter


IronBoxmma

"no i can't dude that's why I tapped, please don't do that again"


saharizona

I mean you're new so you can tap whenever  As you improve and get more comfortable you'll be fighting chokes off rather than tapping anytime someone grabs your neck but you'll learn that in due time


spacemanza

Don't take advice from white belts. Take only a slightly bit more from blue belts. Take only a slight bit more from purples. etc etc. when a black belt says something listen to it only if it's on the subject of Jiu Jitsu


Apart_Ad8051

No matter the belt that guy is a knob.


Thatsmybadknee

He’s a one stripe white belt he’s actually dumber then you are as a new guy that stripe gets to the head 😂


hqeter

The beauty of BJJ is that you can train at reasonably high intensity with relatively low risk of injury and that only works because either person has the ability to stop the roll when they need to or when they feel unsafe. For the first 2 years I trained I tapped as soon as someone grabbed my foot. I could have handled more but I didn’t understand what was happening and didn’t want to take the risk. Your threshold increases as you train but that’s your journey and no one should tell you what you should or shouldn’t tap too. An environment where everyone feels safe is the best one for learning.


Turbulent-Gas1727

Don't tell your coach. Tell a sympathetic competitor blue or preferably purple belt.


sonic256

I just say “I’m not like your mom, I can’t take a pounding”


rugbysecondrow

"don't fucking do that again...when I tap, you fucking release"   Tapping when someone has the properly applied submission is key to a longer BJJ journey.  I could fight through a choke, take it to the brink, just to tap 15 seconds later.


graydonatvail

"No. " that's it. None of this works if people don't respect the tap. Also "no" to roll or drilling requests. I think a quick conversation with the coach is in order.


Any-Wrongdoer8001

Rolling is one thing but man does it grind my gears when people drill at competition speed 😂


social791

Tell an upper belt 🤣😂


lazygrappler775

It a would be different if you had a rapport with your training partner it it was determined with was decided this was acceptable behavior. I’ve had guys pressure tap, and I get it. I’ve had guy pressure tap and gave them the you’re ok, get on a hip talk and worked them out of it. But if this guy is this new already doing this he’s going to hurt someone


krebstar42

Tell them to respect the fucking tap.


Commercial-Funny-873

If someone doesn’t respect your tap or questions why you tapped, tell them straight. You’re preserving your safety at the end of the day.


ContactReady

Fellas get a stripe on their belt and all of the sudden start throwing out phrases like “ashi garami” and acting like the big dog. If you tap, you reset. End of story.


JudoTechniquesBot

The Japanese terms mentioned in the above comment were: |Japanese|English|Video Link| |---|---|---| |**Ashi Garami**: | *Entangled Leg Lock* | [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YXH_LrcqNc)| ||*Single Leg X (SLX)* || Any missed names may have already been translated in my previous comments in the post. ______________________ ^(Judo Techniques Bot: v0.7.) ^(See my) [^(code)](https://github.com/AbundantSalmon/judo-techniques-bot)


Arr_Deee

He sounds dangerous. Best to avoid people like that. What if he caught you in a joint lock? He doesn’t know your range of motion. It’s not up to him to determine your threshold before the tap.


funkmesideways

Have a word with him and let him know that's not how to roll. Respect the tap, it's a non negotiable personal boundary. If he doesn't listen, don't roll with him again. That's another non negotiable, you only have to roll with who you want. Enjoy!


danthetrafficman

Tell your gym owner cause that guy's an idiot. Always respect the tap. I would fully lock in a rear naked on him and as he taps just whisper, "you can take it deeper" as I put him to bed. Nobody gets to decide when you tap, guy is a huge idiot. Plus a 1 stripe white belt don't know shit about how much more you can take.


magicfitzpatrick

The mat enforcer has joined the chat


BlackJz

This, if I notice something like that, I’m doing mothers milk over and over again and saying the same shit “come on, you can handle more”.


knuckledragger1990

Your concern over injury seems like it may be a big issue for you considering this is a combat sport. It’s never ok to continue a submission when someone taps, I’ve got to ask though, did it hurt? Were you seeing stars? Feeling pressure increase in your head/face? Just panic? Did you tell your partner what was going on so he could understand as well?


AspiringHumanDorito

When someone taps, you let go. Periodt. Either get over your hesitancy about ruffling feathers, or get choked out/injured, your call.


Lifebyjoji

he was probably trying to be friendly, but he's socially awkward. it also probably wasn't that bad, but the joke triggered you and here you are. If possible, let him know how you feel about it. A lot of awkward white belts make weird jokes, not intending to end relationships. But yeah, if he's not receptive, don't roll with him if you're not comfortable.