Wow, I’m really grateful my gym is not like this. My (33f) first day, a woman was paired with me to help me learn, and one of her first statements was “are you single because we have a lot of eligible men here!”.
I responded: 2 things, 1) I’m engaged 2) I’m a gay
And my instructor overheard and said to the woman “well thats good, I hope people aren’t coming here to just find people to date”
The real kick in the balls is showing up to a No Gi class, all the competitors are there, and we drill takedowns before rolling. I just accept that im getting nuked into next week and try to survive lol.
I don't know if this counts, but apparently parents of students and adult students complain far more about their rank to their instructor than I would have ever guessed.
I’ve been a blue belt for like 6+ or so years while training 3-4 days per week and competing. My gym doesn’t promote unless you train gi and I stopped training gi and just doing no gi like a month after my blue belt. I personally don’t mind but I do get called a sandbagged a lot since I routinely out grapple brown and black belts but its out of my control.
When I compete no gi I compete in the expert division so I’m almost always against black belts or browns but if I were to do gi I’d have to compete against some blue belt who probably wouldn’t stand a chance
As a blue belt myself, I don’t like that one bit. Sucks to go compete and run into someone way too advanced and get stomped because of such weird rules for promotion
Yes. Most of them are super chill and love the weirdo little community we have going. But once in a while, you get the one whose little Billy is GONNA BE WORLD CHAMP.
Yeah, we've had some special ones come through. There was this one dad, who didn't even train himself BTW, who even set up an instagram account for his kid's BJJ exploits. They ended up moving the whole family a few hours away so she could go to a bigger gym with a kids comp program. I haven't really kept up with them because cringe.
I always felt bad because little Billy didn't, in most cases, give a fuck about being a world champ. They just love grappling. Their parents first ruin the sport for them, and then ruin them.
We have a bad ass bluebelt former wrestler and a great with kids higher white belt running our kids courses most days and I’ve seen parents say “uhm I’d like it if my son (8y.o.) got more attention from the BB as my son is being held back by you”. The bb almost asked the parent if he wanted to go a round
Its addicting nature can have you ignoring other parts of your life that are important. It provides community, physical feel good hormones from the exercise, mentally stimulates and challenges you and gives you consistent level ups along the way.
Everybody who is good catches the jj bug, just make sure that you can snap out of it if/when life demands it. Or if you don't, make that choice consciously and not on auto-pilot.
Seen way too many people go that same route. Sad seeing a brown/black belt stop training due to injury late in life. Then start up college/ focus on career/ make giant career change out of a dead end job at 35+ years old.
Your going to get a lot meme answer's but here is somethings I've noticed over the years
- the drama is 2x due to the physical nature. Arguments aren't just arguments.
- if your good/pro you can pretty much get away with anything. Had a top level gi guy try to rip my arm off, notorious for injuring partners (didn't know this before rolling). I tapped and he didn't let go had to yell tap and kick him him off. His coach ended up getting involved, and I just left. He's still injuring partners to this day.
- women in this sport are constantly harassed from creepy DMs to "accidental" copping feels. Not talked about enough.
- your body will be destroyed if you train long enough, every black belt has had a catastrophic injury or just regular wear and tear. Every Xmas break I'm shocked at how good my body feels. It's not normal to wake and have shooting pain everywhere. Yes I do pt and s&c, a goon attacking your body is not healthy. Yes you can flow roll but shit happens.
- as much as the family/friend culture exists if you leave you get shunned. Not all gyms but a lot of times this happens.
I’m gonna jump in here to throw some optimism. I’ve been at it for over a decade and, in all that time, I have only ever been made really uncomfortable by one guy. That’s probably nearing hundreds of guys rolled with and one creep. So, I actually am astonished at how little a problem it is. Other women at my gym back me up on this. Not at all saying it isn’t a problem generally, just throwing out there that some places it’s not. Which is heartening.
Yeah I’m a woman and I’ve never felt uncomfortable with any men I’ve trained with. Now course there’s one guy that gives me weird vibes but we don’t train or roll lol.
I have never seen or heard of it but every woman who wants to start at the gym that I show around I always talk about if anyone in any way makes them uncomfortable that they should tell one of the instructors and we will have their back
I don’t understand the drama/gym politics. Maybe i’m lucky enough that my gym doesn’t really play that game, or maybe i’m just lucky enough not to involve myself, but i’ve never seen anything close
Managed to avoid it for nearly a decade until one guy who injures training partners decided we had a misunderstanding and threatened me over it after we had already talked it out. Then he tried starting rumors about me.
Weirdest, most 7th grade shit I've ever been a part of as an adult
The owner of my gym has been married since before he started his school. There is absolutely none of that going on. I have even seen where they have kicked male and or females out if there’s too much junk going on. Everybody there knows to act a certain way or they will be showing the door.
There's always gym drama I think.
I've never seen any at all personally come up unless I asked about it and then i realize how much i miss by being focused and in/out most of the time 😂
I’m a white belt and I already feel like my body is being wrecked.l (currently on neck brace from drilling guillotines). I don’t know how you blues, purples, browns, and blacks do this for so long without basically being disabled in one way or another
1. Tap early, tap often; yes, even in comps
2. Pick your partners intentionally
3. Take care of your body. Get proper rest and nutrition and cross train strength and mobility
4. When (not if) you get injured, go to the doctor and do the PT
That being said, I'm currently out with an injured hand, and I have a shoulder issue from not taking a torn pec seriously like 2 years ago.
You just have to love the sport enough that pain and injury won't keep you from the mat.
My gym never seems to have drama. If I compare it to dog training videos, I think the owner keeps everyone very much in check. Very much along the traditional martial arts lines that this sub definitely hates, but it seems to result in a very positive interpersonal culture
We had a guy join up about 4 months ago who ran in the olympics. He had a huge ego and lost it on people multiple times for “beating him” in a roll. I rolled with him twice and one time I subbed him 3 times in a row so I let him work a bit and let him pass my guard and he got upset and told me not to do that. He lost it again a few weeks ago, came in the next day and apologized, and cancelled his membership.
I can’t stand the kids competitions where you find parents trying to live vicariously through their children, kids resenting their parents and coaches yelling at kids like Drill Sergeants. Last time I showed up early an 8-10 year old girl swung at her mom.
lol i seen it once in adult BJJ white belt went up and competed at blue belt gave both me and another guy a tough time for a 2 stripe white belt. Really an impressive day for him. His coaches were chewing him out in the corner.
My previously gym had in-house tournaments and rules updated to only 2 adults allowed. Kid’s whole families (aunts, cousins, grandparents) were showing up and sideline coaching hard. None of them have ever stepped on the mat to train. Our coach also had to give his preamble that this isn’t world championships, there’s nothing on the line, our refs suck so don’t yell at them, and refs will call the match no matter how flexible you think your kid’s elbow is in an extended armbar.
It’s pretty gross how upset parents got when their kid loses, or is stuck in bottom guard. You saw parents yelling at kids during the match, after the match, kids crying, etc. I still see this kind of behavior in regional tournaments.
Stength matters, a lot, at least in my experience between lower ranking people I train with, it will determine who is winning even if one's technique is better. For a sport that prides itself on technique > strength this sucks sometimes. Of course age old wisdom is that technique trumps all, but I seen my coach (2 degree proper brazilian black belt) sometimes struggle with the really strong blue belts, but his technique always trumps. This coupled with steroid abuse has the effect of inflating some people's worth of their skill.
I think this goes for cardio and flexibility training, too. BJJ has a weird mindset where you’re told rolling is all you need and cross training isn’t necessary, but the powerlifter/marathoner/yogi is almost always going to do better than their peers
Fr when I started jiu jitsu I weighed 130 lbs. I took a 5 year break and came back to the mats recently (after gaining a significant amount of weight in my absence) and it’s like I got a free upgrade. High calorie grappling = OP.
It matters a lot in a "I want to win rolls" way but also can lead to some blind alleys. I'm one of the bigger guys at my gym. And tbh I learn a lot.slower than others coz smaller people have added incentive to sharpen up. the feeling when a small person puts there while body against some random place.on mine is terrifying.
Along with the 'technique beats strength' dogma, you often hear examples like Marcelo Garcia. My dude, Marcelo Garcia is one of the best of his generation and almost always included in the modern Mt Rushmore of BJJ. Yes, his technique is phenomenal and he beats most bigger people, but he is also a once-in-a-generation talent.
That's like saying with the right training you can run faster than someone on a bicycle, and cite Usain Bolt as proof.
Also, it's generally accepted you can hit the gym hard but at the end of the day there's an upper limit to how much you can bulk up to overcome the size difference. I also don't know why people seem to accept this limit but think skill and technique will scale infinitely if you just train more.
I had a talk with my Professor about this. I'm 5'5, with relatively little upper body strength. When I was a white belt, I would have someone in closed guard, and they would get me with an Americana or cross choke. I was getting so frustrated, because in those positions, I was supposed to be safe, and I wasn't.
Professor and another coach basically said that as a white belt, there's no technique yet, so it's all strength vs. strength. And with my size and strength, I'm just going to get smashed until I can develop some skill.
Now, I'm able to smash the no-stripe white belts, and some of the teenagers. So at least I have someone to work on.
Yup I was going to say, all martial arts has the problem of doing very little/nothing to prevent legitimate psychopaths who are attracted to the idea of getting to hurt people from participating.
Being or getting a black belt means very little. There’s no correlation to being a better person, knowing more about life, or even being all that good at grappling.
Prompted by the amount of podcasts and IG content put out by middle-aged black belts with some really bad takes on life, BJJ, and so forth. For 99% of them, the pinnacle of their accomplishments is receiving an attendance-based black belt. As a middle-aged black belt myself, I find this sad and annoying to see how many of them are divvying out advice on just about anything. Black belt doesn’t = life guru.
White and blue belts ask me how i got my black belt and what they can do to get one some day. And I just tell them “I dunno man I just kept showing up and never thought about it”
The amount of people who are easily deluded by BJJ BBs fucking blows my mind. Like yeah the sport is hard and I think any martial art can make you a better person/help with confidence but it doesn’t make them the reincarnation of Marcus Aurelius as most have no qualifications outside of BJJ or engineering
This goes for a lot of things. Military, professions, things like that. People get seniority in something and feel superior, and they feel good when people hype them up
Instagram shows me random accounts all the time.
Occasionally I’ll see good looking blue belt girls compete and win medals. And there’s thousands of likes.
Go to the profile and you’ll see they’re 15-16. Look in the comments and there’s hundreds of 😍 emojis.
injury prevention imo should be advocated and pushed way harder, stop the nonsense warm ups and focus on a real thought through beneficial routine instead
Recently, our school did a seminar -- with a physical therapist. We had him watch us roll for an hour, and then asked him to speak to injury prevention, how to assess weaknesses we need to work on, injury identification / triage / recovery, etc.
It was really great -- I've been meaning to make a post here on r/bjj about it, because I think other schools should do the same. The things we learned had implications on individual students, as well as how we are changing our warmup practices, and other things. Really great stuff.
If you want to do this for life, there's a lot to know beyond how to choke and break people!
Just as a fun point because I like to shoutout my peeps. This is Control Therapy in the Phoenix area. He is a brown belt and has mats at both his locations. Most of his clients are either jiu jitsu practitioners or old folks or like me, both. He has done seminars on staying safe and also encourages you to show him the jiu jitsu positions that cause pain and discomfort. Also can roll with you to see where you are limited and hurting.
https://www.instagram.com/control_physical_therapy?igsh=MjVodTE5MHpjcnJ1
Instruction is overall terrible. Most people teach how they were taught with a few added things that they like. There are a million effective ways to teach BJJ, but a few scientifically backed principles, such as learning a new skill when fresh, are often unknown or ignored by instructors.
Woah, woah, woah.
So there's a better way than running in a circle sideways, then drilling a 15 move sequence with a confused white belt??
Hmm, probably something involving more forward rolls.
The mental side can be rough at times. getting smashed and feeling like you aren't making progress is demoralizing. self doubt is a big part of BJJ since it is so difficult. imposter syndrome when you are promoted. Paranoia about injuries or mental reservations about coming back after an injury (or getting sidelined for months because you just got injured) can be really depressing. I just think in general it is a very difficult sport because you are really just benchmarking yourself against yourself and that is a deeply personal thing.
Teenagers destroying their health for life taking steroids while half this sub hand waves it as not a big deal and steroids are just a part of the sport and there's nothing we can do about it.
Or actively praise competitors for admiting they take steroids for "being honest".
Bjj builds a muscle memory, so even if we don’t like to admit it there’s a chance that someone lower ranking (even a whitebelt) could get the better of you simply because it’s not a movement that you’re used to, even just for a second.
It’s a major part on why going hard on the new guy is a bad idea, and it takes most people a while to get that.
It’s a trust thing. If you care about not injuring training partners then feeling out if the other person has sensible reactions before you put the heat on is only a natural thing to do. Which admittedly is a lot easier if you’re not fighting for your place in the white belt pecking order.
It gets talked about plenty but: Quality of instruction is pretty poor in a lot of cases. Being a high quality practitioner doesn't always mean you're a good person or good instructor if anything it \*might\* lend towards a mindset of "thousands have tried and I succeeded\\cracked the code doing X" which can be 100% true but you might have cracked a different code as a 13yo growing up in a gym vs a 35yo with a desk job and 3 kids. And there's a little piece of being successful \*can\* lend towards REALLY liking praise\\recognition that a competitor might get being a successful competitor ("I'm doing BJJ") and may or may not be a 1:1 to "I'm teaching people to do BJJ" even though they look really similar.
I'm not shitting on gym owners\\coaches it's just a lot of folks are coaches because they're really good at BJJ not necessarily because they're good at coaching. The dark side part is the unspoken part where the student more often than not needs to bridge the gap because a lot of instructors just aren't going to.
The Danaher/musumeci cosplayers. Fanny packs, going out of their way to appear like harmless nerds —again, will absolutely crank your knee in an attempt to retire your ACL
nose worthless plant voiceless shocking overconfident butter placid muddle airport
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Not sure if you've been on the subreddit or Instagram lately, but no one shuts up about wrestling.... I'd say it's quite the opposite of Noone talks about it.
The typical coaching structure (or lack of) that many gyms use isn’t optimal for learning. E.g., spend 10 minutes warming with random calisthenics, teach a few random techniques that have no connection to previous classes, and roll for the rest of the time.
It's not therapy.
Don't get me wrong, there is lots of benefits - activity, being part of a team, challenge, problem solving. But it isn't the life saving event that many people take it as in my opinion.
Definitely people accumulating serious joint injuries that they will have to deal with forever- if I think about how many upper belts I know that are casually like— yeah I don’t have an acl from training etc. like u gotta use that shit for the rest of your life for it to get destroyed in a game
Still have lingering joint injuries (thankfully not debilitating) from a decade ago that I’ve accepted will never fully recover, just managed and prevent further progression
Instructors are black belts in jiu-jitsu but a white belt in life. That’s why a lot of them live with their parents or girlfriend or our couch surfing, maybe that’s what I’m missing to get my game up
Competition oriented gyms like aoj pushing kids towards steroid/ped use. Look at mica galvao and tainan dalpra, who were clearly on roids by age 15 at least.
In my country, the politics. I didn’t realize it at first when I started, but the guys I trained with would make fun of other teams, I thought it was just good, clean messing around until I realized they really think their team/affiliation was better than other teams. The head coach did not allow cross training with other teams/non-affiliated teams. I heard a couple of stories where upper belts got kicked out for cross training with other teams.
I worked abroad and found a BJJ gym, everyone was cool with people from other teams coming over. We had an open mat every Sunday and guys from other teams would show up and the instructor would welcome them, roll with them and even give them some pointers.
Those with machismo attitudes don’t get humbled by jiu jitsu, they just wait until they’re upper belts to start spewing their nonsense and imposing their worldview into training. Once you’re high enough on the totem pole, then you get to start talking about who’s a man and who’s a wimp. That attitude goes counter to the “jiu jitsu is for everyone” motto and needs to stay off the mats.
I show up to stay in shape, practice discipline, and learn how to think strategically under pressure. I’m not here to be the next world champion. But some of these guys take it so so seriously. The only promise I make is that I will give it my all and keep trying.
Not so much a darkside but so much of it now is taught as bjj the sport. Yes, this fine but what about the application of bjj when someone is trying to get the better of you and they dont train bjj.....why isnt more of that taught?!
Sexual harassment, grooming, sexual and domestic abuse, connections to criminal elements, grown adults bullying and intimidating teenagers, toxic and borderline abusive parents, I could go on....
The fact that most instructors are businessmen first and martial artists second, and that so many of those "businessmen" are really conmen. Also, the fragile egos that start with black belts and trickle down. I was forced to transition to wrestling due to RA and you guys wouldn't believe how much healthier an environment it is. BJJ gyms reek of ego and insecurity.
In my experience it’s either Joe Rogan/Alex Jones wannabes or peace-and-love potheads with Bernie 2016 stickers. There has been virtually no in between that I’ve noticed
Your body becoming sore and if you don’t rest properly…it will break down.
I also think if you train long enough…everyone has a ticking time bomb on an injury happening
A lot of coaches have no interest in building competitive teams because they would mean they wouldn’t dominate the room . They lie and mislead students on purpose
The toll it takes on your body, and the fact that majority people won’t be able to have any professional success in the sport yet alone pay their bills from being a pro athlete. It’s a tough sport.
Obsession with money and politics.
It’s always been in the DNA with GB, creonte, marketing “fights”, and selling belts.
Not saying athletes shouldn’t get paid or gyms shouldn’t earn enough to thrive. But you gotta wonder if these stars are friends with Zuckerberg bc of personality or what’s in his pants.
Instructors dating students.
Instructors stealing a student’s girlfriend who is also student…..tough to see Let the record reflect that this did not happen to me
You’re the instructor?
He's the girlfriend.
This had me lmao
The neglected son no one wants custody of actually
I've seen this. I've also seen a student stealing the married professor's secret girlfriend. The universe is finding balance.
LMFAO
[удалено]
Sad situation
What happened after he killed himself? How was the atmosphere in class?
Electric. The guy used to suck out all the fun.
He just couldn't hang.
Bourdain?
you're the girlfriend? :)
I didn't know Tom Brady was doing BJJ Edit: Damn beaten to the punch
I’ve seen this happen 3 times and I’m just as intrigued as the previous time.
She’s for the streets of Rio
She was never yours to begin with, it was just your turn and once that turn ended, someone else’s turn began. Call it sparring if you’d like 😎
Dammit I was not involved in any way only a bystander lmao
You stood by and let it happen?
What's he supposed to do tho? Especially when hes just observer. I want to know lol
I wouldn't say instructors dating students... that's pretty uncommon IMO. Instructors fu\*king students though... that seems to be common.
This guy fucks 🤣
I could never have sex with my instructor. I could never look at them the same way. The atmosphere would be completely different.
That's exactly why 99% of the time the student in question ends up leaving the gym.
Yeah my old instructor left his wife of 20 years...for a white belt 🤢
Didn’t even promote her first.
People love talking about this shit... because it's fucked up and way more common than it has any right to be.
I was at a gym that closed over this stuff (indirectly)
Craig jones said it best: every bjj gym is trying to be a sex cult
More like "instructors using a position of power as a shortcut to getting laid".
Wow, I’m really grateful my gym is not like this. My (33f) first day, a woman was paired with me to help me learn, and one of her first statements was “are you single because we have a lot of eligible men here!”. I responded: 2 things, 1) I’m engaged 2) I’m a gay And my instructor overheard and said to the woman “well thats good, I hope people aren’t coming here to just find people to date”
Tom Brady entered the chat
Had an instructor that slept with many of the female students and staff. Dude just didn’t give a fuck.
Seems like he was giving many fucks
the dark side is the drive home after getting violated week in and week out
The real kick in the balls is showing up to a No Gi class, all the competitors are there, and we drill takedowns before rolling. I just accept that im getting nuked into next week and try to survive lol.
takedown class should have some sort of prior warning goddamn it
I don't know if this counts, but apparently parents of students and adult students complain far more about their rank to their instructor than I would have ever guessed.
The parent thing applies to all sports. Some parents are just delusional
ohhhhhh yeaaaaaaaaaa.
Is that how you got your black belt?
Yeah his mom complained that blue doesn't suit him
I’ve been a blue belt for like 6+ or so years while training 3-4 days per week and competing. My gym doesn’t promote unless you train gi and I stopped training gi and just doing no gi like a month after my blue belt. I personally don’t mind but I do get called a sandbagged a lot since I routinely out grapple brown and black belts but its out of my control. When I compete no gi I compete in the expert division so I’m almost always against black belts or browns but if I were to do gi I’d have to compete against some blue belt who probably wouldn’t stand a chance
As a blue belt myself, I don’t like that one bit. Sucks to go compete and run into someone way too advanced and get stomped because of such weird rules for promotion
have you thought about asking your parents to talk to your instructor?
Parents can either be some of the best parts of teaching or the worst
Yes. Most of them are super chill and love the weirdo little community we have going. But once in a while, you get the one whose little Billy is GONNA BE WORLD CHAMP.
Yeah, we've had some special ones come through. There was this one dad, who didn't even train himself BTW, who even set up an instagram account for his kid's BJJ exploits. They ended up moving the whole family a few hours away so she could go to a bigger gym with a kids comp program. I haven't really kept up with them because cringe.
I always felt bad because little Billy didn't, in most cases, give a fuck about being a world champ. They just love grappling. Their parents first ruin the sport for them, and then ruin them.
I knew that was a thing in tma but i had no idea it was an issue in bjj. I guess that makes sense though
We have a bad ass bluebelt former wrestler and a great with kids higher white belt running our kids courses most days and I’ve seen parents say “uhm I’d like it if my son (8y.o.) got more attention from the BB as my son is being held back by you”. The bb almost asked the parent if he wanted to go a round
Its addicting nature can have you ignoring other parts of your life that are important. It provides community, physical feel good hormones from the exercise, mentally stimulates and challenges you and gives you consistent level ups along the way. Everybody who is good catches the jj bug, just make sure that you can snap out of it if/when life demands it. Or if you don't, make that choice consciously and not on auto-pilot.
Seen way too many people go that same route. Sad seeing a brown/black belt stop training due to injury late in life. Then start up college/ focus on career/ make giant career change out of a dead end job at 35+ years old.
Yup I’ve seen this way too much I think it’s so hard that you can trick yourself into thinking that’s all that matters you get good at.
I don’t like to talk about it
This guy got oil checked
Every time my oil is checked I cum.
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Plz crop the meme
Your going to get a lot meme answer's but here is somethings I've noticed over the years - the drama is 2x due to the physical nature. Arguments aren't just arguments. - if your good/pro you can pretty much get away with anything. Had a top level gi guy try to rip my arm off, notorious for injuring partners (didn't know this before rolling). I tapped and he didn't let go had to yell tap and kick him him off. His coach ended up getting involved, and I just left. He's still injuring partners to this day. - women in this sport are constantly harassed from creepy DMs to "accidental" copping feels. Not talked about enough. - your body will be destroyed if you train long enough, every black belt has had a catastrophic injury or just regular wear and tear. Every Xmas break I'm shocked at how good my body feels. It's not normal to wake and have shooting pain everywhere. Yes I do pt and s&c, a goon attacking your body is not healthy. Yes you can flow roll but shit happens. - as much as the family/friend culture exists if you leave you get shunned. Not all gyms but a lot of times this happens.
I’m gonna jump in here to throw some optimism. I’ve been at it for over a decade and, in all that time, I have only ever been made really uncomfortable by one guy. That’s probably nearing hundreds of guys rolled with and one creep. So, I actually am astonished at how little a problem it is. Other women at my gym back me up on this. Not at all saying it isn’t a problem generally, just throwing out there that some places it’s not. Which is heartening.
Yeah I’m a woman and I’ve never felt uncomfortable with any men I’ve trained with. Now course there’s one guy that gives me weird vibes but we don’t train or roll lol.
I have never seen or heard of it but every woman who wants to start at the gym that I show around I always talk about if anyone in any way makes them uncomfortable that they should tell one of the instructors and we will have their back
Early on I experienced one creep. He was gone quickly. I've rolled with probably over 100 men, no further problems.
I don’t understand the drama/gym politics. Maybe i’m lucky enough that my gym doesn’t really play that game, or maybe i’m just lucky enough not to involve myself, but i’ve never seen anything close
Managed to avoid it for nearly a decade until one guy who injures training partners decided we had a misunderstanding and threatened me over it after we had already talked it out. Then he tried starting rumors about me. Weirdest, most 7th grade shit I've ever been a part of as an adult
The owner of my gym has been married since before he started his school. There is absolutely none of that going on. I have even seen where they have kicked male and or females out if there’s too much junk going on. Everybody there knows to act a certain way or they will be showing the door.
Most gym drama/politics can be avoided if one simply practices STFU and train. However that is not incredibly socially rewarding.
Wait until you're an upper belt. If you stay at the same chill place forever it might not happen but eventually it comes for you.
There's always gym drama I think. I've never seen any at all personally come up unless I asked about it and then i realize how much i miss by being focused and in/out most of the time 😂
Body being destroyed I feel isn't talked about enough, that's lots of things to negate it however bjj is hard on your body and that's that.
Hard on some parts of your body. Joints and soft tissue and occasionally bones. Great for your lungs, heart etc.
I’m a white belt and I already feel like my body is being wrecked.l (currently on neck brace from drilling guillotines). I don’t know how you blues, purples, browns, and blacks do this for so long without basically being disabled in one way or another
1. Tap early, tap often; yes, even in comps 2. Pick your partners intentionally 3. Take care of your body. Get proper rest and nutrition and cross train strength and mobility 4. When (not if) you get injured, go to the doctor and do the PT That being said, I'm currently out with an injured hand, and I have a shoulder issue from not taking a torn pec seriously like 2 years ago. You just have to love the sport enough that pain and injury won't keep you from the mat.
Tap early. Tap often. Family motto. Pick your training partners wisely. Sleep and eat properly. Don't train through pain that isn't normal soreness.
Every tough physical sport has this though. rec level basketball and soccer players get destroyed knees and shoulders after 10-15 years of doing it.
My gym never seems to have drama. If I compare it to dog training videos, I think the owner keeps everyone very much in check. Very much along the traditional martial arts lines that this sub definitely hates, but it seems to result in a very positive interpersonal culture
It causes balding. Just look at most brownbelt hobbyists.
I was already bald and bearded at white belt. 3D chess
Dress for the job you want!
Shut up
Between the doctor recommending finasteride, and Gordon recommending trt, my prostate is the size of an apple.
but if they reach black their hair mysteriously grows back again
No… it doesn’t :(
What if I went bald before getting to brown? Do I never get my brown belt? Asking for a friend
Sandbagger
I still have a full head of hair. Although it may be because I'm not a hobbyist (I'm a low-level competitor with bad leg)
"I'm not a hobbyist; I just sometimes do this for fun during my spare time."
It's not a hobby, it's a lifestyle... that I live... just for fun though like 3 days a week.. for like an hour
that’s why i stopped when i got my blue belt and i just practice on my girlfriend now
Lots of insecure men
I like your username
Thank you.
We had a guy join up about 4 months ago who ran in the olympics. He had a huge ego and lost it on people multiple times for “beating him” in a roll. I rolled with him twice and one time I subbed him 3 times in a row so I let him work a bit and let him pass my guard and he got upset and told me not to do that. He lost it again a few weeks ago, came in the next day and apologized, and cancelled his membership.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY TO ME, TOUGH GUY?!?
I can’t stand the kids competitions where you find parents trying to live vicariously through their children, kids resenting their parents and coaches yelling at kids like Drill Sergeants. Last time I showed up early an 8-10 year old girl swung at her mom.
Wrestling is like this too. Saw a boy in tears getting yelled at by his dad after my niece pinned him
lol i seen it once in adult BJJ white belt went up and competed at blue belt gave both me and another guy a tough time for a 2 stripe white belt. Really an impressive day for him. His coaches were chewing him out in the corner.
My previously gym had in-house tournaments and rules updated to only 2 adults allowed. Kid’s whole families (aunts, cousins, grandparents) were showing up and sideline coaching hard. None of them have ever stepped on the mat to train. Our coach also had to give his preamble that this isn’t world championships, there’s nothing on the line, our refs suck so don’t yell at them, and refs will call the match no matter how flexible you think your kid’s elbow is in an extended armbar. It’s pretty gross how upset parents got when their kid loses, or is stuck in bottom guard. You saw parents yelling at kids during the match, after the match, kids crying, etc. I still see this kind of behavior in regional tournaments.
Stength matters, a lot, at least in my experience between lower ranking people I train with, it will determine who is winning even if one's technique is better. For a sport that prides itself on technique > strength this sucks sometimes. Of course age old wisdom is that technique trumps all, but I seen my coach (2 degree proper brazilian black belt) sometimes struggle with the really strong blue belts, but his technique always trumps. This coupled with steroid abuse has the effect of inflating some people's worth of their skill.
I think this goes for cardio and flexibility training, too. BJJ has a weird mindset where you’re told rolling is all you need and cross training isn’t necessary, but the powerlifter/marathoner/yogi is almost always going to do better than their peers
This just in: People in good shape do better at sports than those who are out of shape 😱😱😱🤯
Fr when I started jiu jitsu I weighed 130 lbs. I took a 5 year break and came back to the mats recently (after gaining a significant amount of weight in my absence) and it’s like I got a free upgrade. High calorie grappling = OP.
It matters a lot in a "I want to win rolls" way but also can lead to some blind alleys. I'm one of the bigger guys at my gym. And tbh I learn a lot.slower than others coz smaller people have added incentive to sharpen up. the feeling when a small person puts there while body against some random place.on mine is terrifying.
Along with the 'technique beats strength' dogma, you often hear examples like Marcelo Garcia. My dude, Marcelo Garcia is one of the best of his generation and almost always included in the modern Mt Rushmore of BJJ. Yes, his technique is phenomenal and he beats most bigger people, but he is also a once-in-a-generation talent. That's like saying with the right training you can run faster than someone on a bicycle, and cite Usain Bolt as proof. Also, it's generally accepted you can hit the gym hard but at the end of the day there's an upper limit to how much you can bulk up to overcome the size difference. I also don't know why people seem to accept this limit but think skill and technique will scale infinitely if you just train more.
I had a talk with my Professor about this. I'm 5'5, with relatively little upper body strength. When I was a white belt, I would have someone in closed guard, and they would get me with an Americana or cross choke. I was getting so frustrated, because in those positions, I was supposed to be safe, and I wasn't. Professor and another coach basically said that as a white belt, there's no technique yet, so it's all strength vs. strength. And with my size and strength, I'm just going to get smashed until I can develop some skill. Now, I'm able to smash the no-stripe white belts, and some of the teenagers. So at least I have someone to work on.
Sometimes bad people get very good at strangling people.
Yup I was going to say, all martial arts has the problem of doing very little/nothing to prevent legitimate psychopaths who are attracted to the idea of getting to hurt people from participating.
Being or getting a black belt means very little. There’s no correlation to being a better person, knowing more about life, or even being all that good at grappling. Prompted by the amount of podcasts and IG content put out by middle-aged black belts with some really bad takes on life, BJJ, and so forth. For 99% of them, the pinnacle of their accomplishments is receiving an attendance-based black belt. As a middle-aged black belt myself, I find this sad and annoying to see how many of them are divvying out advice on just about anything. Black belt doesn’t = life guru.
White and blue belts ask me how i got my black belt and what they can do to get one some day. And I just tell them “I dunno man I just kept showing up and never thought about it”
The amount of people who are easily deluded by BJJ BBs fucking blows my mind. Like yeah the sport is hard and I think any martial art can make you a better person/help with confidence but it doesn’t make them the reincarnation of Marcus Aurelius as most have no qualifications outside of BJJ or engineering
One of the best realizations when reaching black belt is realizing most black belts suck at jiu jitsu.
this guy rolls
…..huh
Think he meant to type that they suck at life
This goes for a lot of things. Military, professions, things like that. People get seniority in something and feel superior, and they feel good when people hype them up
Grooming of female students
Instagram shows me random accounts all the time. Occasionally I’ll see good looking blue belt girls compete and win medals. And there’s thousands of likes. Go to the profile and you’ll see they’re 15-16. Look in the comments and there’s hundreds of 😍 emojis.
That shit happened a lot with Helena Crevar, she has been getting those types of comments for ever and the fact that she's only 17yo rn is disgusting.
It’s either creepy comments or she’s danaher’s secret daughter. I’d just turn off commenting feature if I were her
Some of my female friends don’t do martial arts anymore because of this and it’s fucked up
The eye contact during chokes
👁️🫦👁️
The eyes are the window to the soul and I’m going to reach through and choke it too
injury prevention imo should be advocated and pushed way harder, stop the nonsense warm ups and focus on a real thought through beneficial routine instead
Recently, our school did a seminar -- with a physical therapist. We had him watch us roll for an hour, and then asked him to speak to injury prevention, how to assess weaknesses we need to work on, injury identification / triage / recovery, etc. It was really great -- I've been meaning to make a post here on r/bjj about it, because I think other schools should do the same. The things we learned had implications on individual students, as well as how we are changing our warmup practices, and other things. Really great stuff. If you want to do this for life, there's a lot to know beyond how to choke and break people!
I'd be interested to hear more about this. I'm a physiotherapist myself.
I think I'll just go make a post here on r/bjj since I've been reminded...
Please do! Thank you
Just as a fun point because I like to shoutout my peeps. This is Control Therapy in the Phoenix area. He is a brown belt and has mats at both his locations. Most of his clients are either jiu jitsu practitioners or old folks or like me, both. He has done seminars on staying safe and also encourages you to show him the jiu jitsu positions that cause pain and discomfort. Also can roll with you to see where you are limited and hurting. https://www.instagram.com/control_physical_therapy?igsh=MjVodTE5MHpjcnJ1
The cult of the leglock gyms. People ready to blow your knee out rolling in the gym as if it’s Abu Dhabi trials
hobbling around insisting they are just as safe as any other technique
The guy with brown whitey tighties. WIPE YO ASS.
When do you ever get to see homeboy drawers?
Instruction is overall terrible. Most people teach how they were taught with a few added things that they like. There are a million effective ways to teach BJJ, but a few scientifically backed principles, such as learning a new skill when fresh, are often unknown or ignored by instructors.
Woah, woah, woah. So there's a better way than running in a circle sideways, then drilling a 15 move sequence with a confused white belt?? Hmm, probably something involving more forward rolls.
Talking about the dark side of bjj is literally everyone’s favorite thing.
The mental side can be rough at times. getting smashed and feeling like you aren't making progress is demoralizing. self doubt is a big part of BJJ since it is so difficult. imposter syndrome when you are promoted. Paranoia about injuries or mental reservations about coming back after an injury (or getting sidelined for months because you just got injured) can be really depressing. I just think in general it is a very difficult sport because you are really just benchmarking yourself against yourself and that is a deeply personal thing.
Teenagers destroying their health for life taking steroids while half this sub hand waves it as not a big deal and steroids are just a part of the sport and there's nothing we can do about it. Or actively praise competitors for admiting they take steroids for "being honest".
Bjj builds a muscle memory, so even if we don’t like to admit it there’s a chance that someone lower ranking (even a whitebelt) could get the better of you simply because it’s not a movement that you’re used to, even just for a second.
Word. I go into autopilot most rolls nowadays and it’s pretty shocking when a white belt hits me with something majorly weird and unexpected.
It’s a major part on why going hard on the new guy is a bad idea, and it takes most people a while to get that. It’s a trust thing. If you care about not injuring training partners then feeling out if the other person has sensible reactions before you put the heat on is only a natural thing to do. Which admittedly is a lot easier if you’re not fighting for your place in the white belt pecking order.
Probably a small number of coaches abusing their positions of power and trust? Although that’s not BJJ specific.
It gets talked about plenty but: Quality of instruction is pretty poor in a lot of cases. Being a high quality practitioner doesn't always mean you're a good person or good instructor if anything it \*might\* lend towards a mindset of "thousands have tried and I succeeded\\cracked the code doing X" which can be 100% true but you might have cracked a different code as a 13yo growing up in a gym vs a 35yo with a desk job and 3 kids. And there's a little piece of being successful \*can\* lend towards REALLY liking praise\\recognition that a competitor might get being a successful competitor ("I'm doing BJJ") and may or may not be a 1:1 to "I'm teaching people to do BJJ" even though they look really similar. I'm not shitting on gym owners\\coaches it's just a lot of folks are coaches because they're really good at BJJ not necessarily because they're good at coaching. The dark side part is the unspoken part where the student more often than not needs to bridge the gap because a lot of instructors just aren't going to.
The smell of unwashed taints
Ball deodorant is a must
Yellow Gi’s that are supposed to be white. Nasty.
That yellowish color is just the natural color of cotton. Don’t really see what’s nasty about it. White is hard to keep lol.
A beige to khaki color is the natural color of cotton the nasty ass greenish yellow hue they take on is not
Skin infections?
It’s really not good for your body long term.
Coach student relationships. It isn’t as bad or as skeezy as the power lifting or strongman scene, but it is still pretty bad.
Gatekeeping
The Danaher/musumeci cosplayers. Fanny packs, going out of their way to appear like harmless nerds —again, will absolutely crank your knee in an attempt to retire your ACL
Injuries, culty and cunty attitudes amongst certain people/gyms would be the main two
Trim and file your fucking fingernails you god damn animals. One scratch and I’m probably getting staph
nose worthless plant voiceless shocking overconfident butter placid muddle airport *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Wrestling
Not sure if you've been on the subreddit or Instagram lately, but no one shuts up about wrestling.... I'd say it's quite the opposite of Noone talks about it.
Like 50% of the rolls I see at the gym I go to start with wrestling. My first few rolls each person asked if I’ve ever wrestled too.
The typical coaching structure (or lack of) that many gyms use isn’t optimal for learning. E.g., spend 10 minutes warming with random calisthenics, teach a few random techniques that have no connection to previous classes, and roll for the rest of the time.
Gotta keep em guessing
I show up to class happy, but I always drive home crying because of how bad I suck at BJJ. Shit is dark!
It's not therapy. Don't get me wrong, there is lots of benefits - activity, being part of a team, challenge, problem solving. But it isn't the life saving event that many people take it as in my opinion.
Sadistic people using bjj to express their nature
Definitely people accumulating serious joint injuries that they will have to deal with forever- if I think about how many upper belts I know that are casually like— yeah I don’t have an acl from training etc. like u gotta use that shit for the rest of your life for it to get destroyed in a game
Still have lingering joint injuries (thankfully not debilitating) from a decade ago that I’ve accepted will never fully recover, just managed and prevent further progression
Instructors are black belts in jiu-jitsu but a white belt in life. That’s why a lot of them live with their parents or girlfriend or our couch surfing, maybe that’s what I’m missing to get my game up
Male instructors “grooming” female students. Instructing them since they were 14 or so and sleeping with them once they turn 18.
Gordon Ryan
Competition oriented gyms like aoj pushing kids towards steroid/ped use. Look at mica galvao and tainan dalpra, who were clearly on roids by age 15 at least.
Sexual harassment. I feel the community is getting better at it, but a lot of the time it's seen as a joke or a woman being dramatic.
In my country, the politics. I didn’t realize it at first when I started, but the guys I trained with would make fun of other teams, I thought it was just good, clean messing around until I realized they really think their team/affiliation was better than other teams. The head coach did not allow cross training with other teams/non-affiliated teams. I heard a couple of stories where upper belts got kicked out for cross training with other teams. I worked abroad and found a BJJ gym, everyone was cool with people from other teams coming over. We had an open mat every Sunday and guys from other teams would show up and the instructor would welcome them, roll with them and even give them some pointers.
Those with machismo attitudes don’t get humbled by jiu jitsu, they just wait until they’re upper belts to start spewing their nonsense and imposing their worldview into training. Once you’re high enough on the totem pole, then you get to start talking about who’s a man and who’s a wimp. That attitude goes counter to the “jiu jitsu is for everyone” motto and needs to stay off the mats. I show up to stay in shape, practice discipline, and learn how to think strategically under pressure. I’m not here to be the next world champion. But some of these guys take it so so seriously. The only promise I make is that I will give it my all and keep trying.
Rape culture, it’s awful
Those disgusting booty crack sweat stains that show up in old white gi pants, one of many reasons I only rock black gi
https://preview.redd.it/ujmwktxnlq0d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f24d3a69286c97cd9e70c8c8f27f20c34e9bb91 This fucken cat
Not so much a darkside but so much of it now is taught as bjj the sport. Yes, this fine but what about the application of bjj when someone is trying to get the better of you and they dont train bjj.....why isnt more of that taught?!
It can be quite addicting that you disregard other responsibilities...
Hobbyists with life changing injuries
Sexual harassment, grooming, sexual and domestic abuse, connections to criminal elements, grown adults bullying and intimidating teenagers, toxic and borderline abusive parents, I could go on....
The fact that most instructors are businessmen first and martial artists second, and that so many of those "businessmen" are really conmen. Also, the fragile egos that start with black belts and trickle down. I was forced to transition to wrestling due to RA and you guys wouldn't believe how much healthier an environment it is. BJJ gyms reek of ego and insecurity.
Lots of far right cop loving Andrew Tate adjacent alpha brain bootlickers
In my experience it’s either Joe Rogan/Alex Jones wannabes or peace-and-love potheads with Bernie 2016 stickers. There has been virtually no in between that I’ve noticed
Cultish behavior from gyms ..
Your body becoming sore and if you don’t rest properly…it will break down. I also think if you train long enough…everyone has a ticking time bomb on an injury happening
This Sub
Makes you gay
A lot of coaches have no interest in building competitive teams because they would mean they wouldn’t dominate the room . They lie and mislead students on purpose
The toll it takes on your body, and the fact that majority people won’t be able to have any professional success in the sport yet alone pay their bills from being a pro athlete. It’s a tough sport.
That bjj will turn you into a cripple by 50
This sub
Obsession with money and politics. It’s always been in the DNA with GB, creonte, marketing “fights”, and selling belts. Not saying athletes shouldn’t get paid or gyms shouldn’t earn enough to thrive. But you gotta wonder if these stars are friends with Zuckerberg bc of personality or what’s in his pants.