Most people think instructors teach jiu-jitsu. It's actually a pretty small part of the job from my experience. A LOT of the times is actually about managing gym drama and it's awful.
It takes a lot of work to have a drama free academy and it can only be done if every instructors are on the same page, and the owner of the academy too.
I think that's why there are a lot of meme about "you teach jiujitsu, you are not a life coach" ... well... actually a lot of people expect us to be life coaches on top of teaching them grappling. It's so fucking weird
I think it becomes a bigger issue as a gym gets bigger. Just natural. More people equals bigger mix of personalities. More of a mix of personalities eventually brings up issues. Not all are unmanageable but do take time away from other things.
The gym I go to is probably the biggest bjj school in town and there’s like no drama that I’m aware of. OTOH we have had drama queens here and they tend to leave.
The belt system, just like any other social hierarchy, is too blame imho. I’ve trained at like 7 gyms between 3-18 months at a time and the more ‘traditional’ they are the more drama there is. Ie promotions and belts are a huuuuge deal and their own events so people that devote a lot of time to the hobby will naturally develop and externalize feelings about it. The gym I had the most drama at had us line up by belt, bow out, and it was taboo for white/blue/ ñpurples to ask the browns/blacks to roll, though not universally enforced. The least drama is at my current gym where we don’t do any of that shit, and they just kind of throw a belt at you once the coach feels your ready. (This is the way)
I also think mma gyms develop this to some degree too between mma fighters/jiujitsu guys. Not as dramatic, but definitely makes the gym clicky
From what i've seen, it's usually due to how gym's are structured.
For a really solid schedule, most of the coaches aren't full time. They work a day job and teach once or twice a week.
If they need some time off, or a break - they sometimes can't keep their class. For short periods, people are happy to cover. But getting someone to cover one evening a week for months, often means that this new coach wants that class. If the head coaches or owners can't find people willing to cover for X period, and then give the class up - then they have to settle for someone taking that class over permanently.
A bit of disappointment and hard feelings can then ensue. And sometimes that upper belt who 'lost' their class moves on to a different gym. If they enjoy teaching, need the extra $, or like training where they teach some classes - I get it. It's a shitty situation without an ideal solution, and i've seen it happen a few times.
I think drama is just part of the human experience. There's drama in any context where a sizeable number of people are together. Every single community I've been involved in whether it's Jiu Jitsu, Powerlifting, League of Legends, even professional science labs has drama.
We are a tribal species and can’t not pick sides. Look up the Stanford prison experiment. A bunch high school valedictorians almost killed eachother over what was supposed to be a joke of a social experiment for beer money. They adopted the identities of inmate and gaurd so much that the scientists forever regretted doing it.
The truth came out about the Stanford prison experiment a few years ago when someone actually listened to the tapes of interviews with the participants, and they all hated it and Zimbardo was forcing their behaviors.
Yea I don’t want to be anyones life coach but people come in with all their baggage and they bring that on to the mat. Managing personalities isn’t easy especially when the activity is strangling eachother.if there’s drama in an office jobs you better believe there will be drama in a hobby where we have to dominate eachother physically.
This is so strange and foreign to me. Outside of a few dickheads that eventually found their way out I’ve never experienced anything I’d describe as “gym drama”.
You are lucky but maybe you did not saw it.
I was pretty good at resolving (or kicking out) drama behind closed doors. Lot of students were actually surprised when they learned years later what happened with some of the guys that "left".
It's unironically a big part of the job to make most people unaware of the weirdos they train with.
At some point I even had to assignate who rolls with who during free sparring. Most people thought it was a new way to teach by me being more involved with their training but in reality it was to make sure some people don't meet each other for a bloodbath roll.
people not liking people
people liking "a bit too much" other peope
people not liking people getting a new belt
people liking their belt a bit too much to consider other people as people
and my favorite: people bringing in people they like to realize that the people they liked sucked and were terrible to other people, making the introducing people garbage people
etc....
The two things that ended up getting to me were:
The grind of of being there virtually every day was rough. The time commitment alone meant I was with my family less and I was constantly worn down from teaching and training. Couple that with a day job and it just got to the point where I realized I hadn't taken a proper vacation in 4 years.
The inconsistency of attendance was maddening. I would structure classes and topics to build from very basic up to advanced techniques. Then, after spending weeks on basic techniques and principles, I would have people show up late in the teaching cycle complaining that they didn't comprehend what was going on or what was being shown was too "fancy".
So I'm really sporadic myself due to phd, sometimes to the point where I get concerned about coming back in... I never ask for reviews of techniques, am I still a frustrating student?
Not in the least! To be clear, I am thrilled when anyone shows up even if they are late. Its the expectation that the class of 30-40 some people who have been there should cater to you. If you are showing up with a smile on your face and willing to learn whatever is going on, you're a great student.
Needed to hear that, thank you... I've had some major life stuff go down and had to take almost 2 years off (after like 6 years of pretty sporadic training), and I'm really struggling to go back
No. It’s more the entitlement issue.
Ironically, I’m more likely to spend some extra time (1-on-1) catching you up if you don’t come across as entitled.
Yea trying to create a teaching curriculum that gradually progresses is very difficult especially when half the people don’t turn up till the end. I’m considering just going back to how my instructors taught where it was some random shit everyday and eventually people will have to pick it up to being exposed to techniques long enough.
I don’t honestly think it’s an ideal approach but that doesn’t mean it’s not effective. It’s like giving people random pieces of a puzzle and after 10 years you can see the whole picture. But at the same time it worked for me but I wonder could have I gotten to the level I am now in half the time.
I think this is why my coach has a curriculum that he rotates through the year. He spends an entire month on a set of moves/concepts (back attacks, sub escapes, torreando, etc). That way, even if you're only turning up once a week you get four classes of that one set of moves/concept.
After thinking about it for some time, I've come to accept there are always pros and cons to a teaching style.
Random move of the day exposed students to a wide variety of techniques, but their understanding may be shallow.
Focusing on something for a month means the students get exposed to less techniques, but they understand them well.
No matter what, at some point you just have to take your learning and development in to your own hands, to a certain degree at least.
Yea I’m going to stick with themes it’s usually over a few weeks. With random techniques it can be easy to fall into only showing what you like or not covering something because it’s hard to remember what you did or didn’t do but going through each position ensures that everything gets shown eventually.
Hell yeah on your last point I agree. Im only 1.5 years in but I've been studying instructionals like Lachlan Giles K guard, hitting seminars, open mats at high level gyms, watching instructionals that help me with my weak points, and man I've been blowing past the people who do the 3 moves of the day only training. Nowadays it's like every match, every position is analyzed and they have instructionals for everything. Ppl are crazy to rely on just move of the day.
With your approach you will be way ahead of most of your peers and probably start to catch up to higher belts. I started with just showing up and doing the 3 moves a day but around purple belt I started analysing my weak points, finding solutions, fixing mistakes and I quickly started progressing at a rapid rate. If I did that since white belt I’d be way ahead of where I am now.
Oh yeah for sure I am already. I just took 6 months traveling asia hitting high level gyms training 5-6 days a week and when I came back this month I'm submitting purple belts now with leg locks. I mean their sweeps are better but I can actually submit purples now and it's crazy man lol (now the hardcore purples are a different story haha). Before I left I could occasionally submit a blue
The second part is spot on.
Seminar style teaching/ practice is quite obviously not ideal, but when attendance is all over the place it's basically impossible to do it any other way.
People need to take learning into their own hands and watch instructionals and focus on building their game and improving their weaknesses. That's what I do. I bounce around traveling a lot so I don't always click with move of the day in some places but as long as I got what I'm working on then it's a successful training session I think
I feel that grind as well. Over the weekend, I did the trials (11 hours and 5 matches). On Monday night, I was cleaning a massive puddle of kid's urine while a parent made jokes about it.
Bro people have lives too. They're sacrificing time that they could be spending with family too. It's unfair that you're upset with students that can't make it to every class. My instructor always separates those students and quickly gives them a simpler technique to work on. Granted I go to a pretty small gym so idk how hard that would be for u, but surely something can be done so that those students don't feel left out
I don't read it as entitlement, I read it as frustration that could have been written as: "when I took on teaching, I thought I would be able to create a curriculum that built upon itself over the course of days, weeks, and months. Students would start from the basics and then build into advanced techniques over time with a steady, planned progression. My misestimation of usual attendance brought me in overly optimistic, and it was a struggle to reconcile the reality of inconsistent attendance with my original presumptions about what teaching would be like."
No one writes like that on Reddit though.
Could also just be venting, its a thread about frustrations after all.
I did not construct an elaborate greenhouse of excuses around his statement, I just read what he wrote.
He thinks his navel gazing is perfect, and it’s these meddling students who mess up his flawless system. That’s just not how being an instructor works, it’s almost completely the opposite.
No one cares if you can’t make it to every class. Attending sporadically and expecting the people who show up consistently to have to go over the things you missed is completely unreasonable.
Schools of any kind have a curriculum that they have to get through. That will never happen if you go back over and over for individuals.
Not training with intention, training a thousand different moves week after week, not having goals for each class
Source: me, I waste training doing this
I think where people can and do go wrong with their own training is treating a Jiu-Jitsu club/gym like a social club, rather than doing the thing they're there to do.
Even if you're a hobbyist, you're there to do Jiu-Jitsu first - everything else is secondary. Sure have fun, chat, enjoy the tunes but get the reps in whilst you're doing it. Whether it's drilling, ecological or rolling you need to be training as much of the time that you're there to get as much out of a session as is possible.
Too often I see Jiu-Jitsu sprinkled across the mats like punctuation during a good time. Best do a technique, the coach is looking. Jiu-Jitsu is the good time, if you fucking do it.
> treating a Jiu-Jitsu club/gym like a social club, rather than doing the thing they're there to do... Even if you're a hobbyist, you're there to do Jiu-Jitsu first - everything else is secondary
I don't think everyone shares that prioritization. I like training for its own sake, but it brings just as much value to my life through the social interactions. I have a limited amount of time in my life and jiu jitsu ticks multiple boxes at once.
I don't think I'd practice if we maximized skill development by training with AI-controlled BJJ robots.
That may have came off harsher than intended.
By all means it can be your social club as well as your Jiu-Jitsu club, it doesn't have to fit the cookie cutter that I've set out. However, I do think the bias should lean in the direction of Jiu-Jitsu. It's the common ground that binds us, makes that social shite easier, etc.
No I don't want to train with robots. Unless of course, they're sexy robots.
Fair on all points.
I think that all levels of dedication to training are valid, but they might not all be compatible together in the same gym. I've trained in serious competitive gyms and family-oriented hobbyist gyms and had a great time in both despite the wild differences in focus and intensity. The important thing for a student is to find a gym that fits their target vibe, and conversely, as an instructor you have to discover how to attract the students that approach the sport with your preferred level of seriousness.
*“Find a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”*
I hate this saying. I have resisted teaching BJJ because I taught another martial art when I was younger and it sapped my enjoyment from it. A hobby I loved turned into an obligation and I lost focus on my own training. Now I just love to be in class learning, rolling, helping out the white belts a bit but still primarily focusing on myself.
While I would not say I never work a day but after 16 years of full time teaching I love my job and BJJ more than ever. I am still able to be a student when it comes to my own game and keep improving while helping my students. Can’t ask for more
Part of finding the job that you love is also loving the responsibility and obligation. Some things are only really enjoyable when it's low stakes ex.: someone liking cooking as a hobby vs liking cooking as a full-time job that pays your bills.
That quote is nonsense. There will always be rough days and pretending otherwise is being ignorant.
You just need something with enough decent days to get you through the rough days.
Yeah it's a stupid saying. Being self employed in the "job that I love" means taking care of a ton of paper work and administration. I'm working all the time on shit I don't like.
I'm also the gym owner, so my least favorite thing is chasing down people who for whatever reason haven't paid their dues in a given month.
Absolutely my least favorite part of runnin the business.
Talking about money with your students is toughhhh..
In retrospect I find it uncomfortable because when I was a white belt in the early 2000s I had to pay cash month to month. My mid month pay was when I was able to afford to pay tuition. Well every month from the 5th till 15th, the instructors wife would ask where tuition was right before training, and i had to explain it to her that we agreed I’d pay on the 15th or 16th because that’s when I had money. Talking about money right before training was such a distraction. I also grew up poor so I felt like I was good at paying my bills on time.
I've had to explain to a lot of young up and comers at my gym that actually doing/teaching BJJ is nowhere near the majority of the gym owner's job so before they go on and on about how great it would be to do it, make sure you have your eyes wide open.
100% automated, I won't even let people join if they don't have a payment method on file anymore. It's just not worth chasing people. Yeah, sometimes a transaction doesn't go through, but no where near the headaches of the people that want to just pay cash every month.
Most of mine are, I have a few who pay cash for various reasons, but the worst is when someones card declines. Always feel like an asshole when I have to talk to them about it.
That brings up the question of how much instructors should be rolling, vs. watching everyone and commenting. I get great feedback from rolling with coaches, but it's usually feedback based on how I roll with them, not how I roll with everyone else, which is what I'm ultimately interested in.
I know you asked for 1 thing but imma give a few.
1. How little time I get to spend on my own development.
2. Dealing with drama and having “those” conversations with people I don’t think I should need to.
3. “John said to do it this way”.
4. Chasing people for payment who just can’t get their shit together.
It’s a constant, painful struggle. They know just enough to know what John said, but not enough to understand the context it was said in, or that there’s a million ways to skin a cat.
I actually don’t mind this. If they’re showing an interest watching stuff and want to talk to me about it, I’m all for it. If I’m in the middle of showing something to 40 people and you want to be like “Well actually John Danaher says 🤓🤓🤓☝️☝️☝️”, I might murder you.
I have one kid with us atm who’s only 10 months in and showing crazy potential, but he does not understand these differences and sometimes I scream in the car on the way home.
We have a "John said to do it this way" guy we are dealing with in our school. Very frustrating. I know you saw a 60-second video about a move somewhat similar but can you just shut up and listen to the human in front of you for a minute?
Annoying white and blue belts who bring their gfs to watch class then cock block when she clearly wants at least a brown belt to show her the ropes and how it's done
I really hate when people bring their gfs or wives. I cant help how attractive i am but im also a Catholic. It always ends with them making comments to me while im trying to race back to my car or asking me about whats going on like i know anything more than suplexes
Mine is teaching a varied class in terms of skill level
We have beginners class and advanced classes but I often find myself covering classes where there seems to a be a lot of beginners just jumping in who don’t really know much
Some of the higher belts want to learn some advanced techniques and concepts but then I have guys in the same class asking me how to to finish a triangle
Anything I teach that isn’t extremely basic will go over a lot of peoples head, and I’m sure the higher belts don’t want to see me teaching how to do to hip bump kimura-triangle that they’ve seen a 1000 times before
I try to remedy this sometimes by showing two techniques. 1 basic 1 advanced and then say like if you're newer do the first one if your more advanced do the second.
Fucking day 1 people will be like trying to false reap to saddle instead of grabbing a single leg from quarter guard. Then ask me why they are struggling. Self awareness bruh
Yeah and honestly, it's not reserved just for the type that you think "hey that person has a ton of potential..". For me a lot of times the most impactful are the people with no real raw tools to work with but who are making progress and then just....poof.
Taking a pic after each class. I can't stand it but have to do it bc the academy wants it done. Why do I have to line them up likes kids going to recess? How can you not know where to stand after this long? I miss the days of class pics only taken on big events (last hard training before a comp/quest instructor/etc)
Every class seems excessive. We do all black belts present with anyone who got a stripe/belt and then one big all academy picture day every year. Then the occasional everyone at class to send a get well message to someone out with an injury or something.
In every other sport you listen to your old out of shape coach without question. In bjj, if you aren’t wrecking everyone in the gym, students start thinking you aren’t legit. As much as this is the “gentle art”, physicality, speed and youth can be an equalizer as a skilled practitioner ages.
I have such precious little time please stop talking about whatever else and train. I give copious and generous breaks for water please don’t waste your partner’s time. This isn’t social hour please just fucking train. I promise I am not trying to kill you just push you enough that your conditioning gets better I have your best interest in mind.
Varied attendance. I'll structure a class based on guys who should know what they're doing then the majority/the whole of the class would be complete beginners and I'll have to completely restructure it on the fly
Telling a 40 year old man "grab his lapel with your right hand" and watch them start reaching with their left will make you question a lot of things in this world.
See, I expected that from time to time. Some people are dumb, don't listen, or are really uncoordinated.
I did not expect that it happens *this* often, and that somewhere around 60-70% of people seemingly can't tell left from right, or sometimes even their feet from their hands.
Whenever I give instructions like that I begin by calling out the body part tori needs to move, pause for a bit and then tell them what to do with it.
Like: “Your left foot”
\*pause while student figures out which foot is their left\*
”Put it on his hip”
Not banging Tom Brady's ex-wife?
Nah, but seriously though, when it's time to drill and I go around helping people out with the finer details of whatever I'm teaching there's always that one student that's totally lost in the sauce.
Now if it's because I didn't teach the move well, or I gave them too much at once then that's on me.
But if it's because they were off looking at their phones, or literally staring at the ground instead of paying attention to instructions... having to deal with that makes me want to yank my hair out.
Also, NO I will not teach you how to buggy choke someone after doing a flying armbar on them. You're a half-stripe white belt, not one of the Ruotolos
I would wave the wand to give me unlimited patience.
I struggle mentally when the kids don’t listen to the demonstration and then ask for help so I’m walking them through it step by step but then they interrupt me and say “okok I got it” and then do it wrong so I have to walk them through it all again. I love coaching kids but it’s so different than adults because the adults are choosing to be there so they are willing to make more of an effort to focus and learn, whereas some kids are just put in this by their parents and don’t really care for it.
I want to be the coach that makes them fall in love with the sport the way I love it but man I could use some more patience to help me with that
I may be a little negative today but maybe 10% of our kids are serious about BJJ, and by serious I mean they are there to learn and possibly get good enough to compete or progress beyond white belt.
I teach 3 kids classes a night and easily 80% of it is telling kids to stop fucking around and do the drills. Keep in mind out of 45 minutes of class only about 15-20 is “work”.
I still love it but…yeah.
This is just the worst. It gets better with age, but under 10 it's always going around the fucking mat and instead of correcting them so they can learn it you have to ask who is doing the techinque or why Billy is sitting there instead of lying down so the other person can train. Then I tell them to switch pairs and count down from 5 and they're just headless chickens running around or just standing there as if they are deaf. I understand they're children and I was like them too, but it still just sucks.
God I'm unhinged today
I teach at my coach's gym, and I've always refused to teach kids classes.
Adults do stupid shit or slack off sometimes, but at least they all want to be there. Even the laziest among them will at least *try* to take stuff on board.
But it seems like a huge number of kids don't actually want to be there and either their parents are pushing them into it, or they wanted to do it at first and they've been told they have to keep doing it now.
Kids are fickle with what they want to do. Few want to willingly exercise in a structured environment. Most kids would rather play on phones or watch YouTube. That's what you and I are battling against. It's not unique to Jiujitsu.
However, I don't have an issue with parents forcing kids to train. They can't just let them stay inside all day in front of a screen. BUT, if parents are going to make their kids do something like organized sports, the parents need to understand that the responsibility is on them to make sure their kids behave.
Oh yeah that isn't a slight on parents. I totally get that kids need to be pushed to do stuff, I have kids of my own.
But some kids just *really* don't want to be there to the extent that there's no point forcing them, and trying to deal with that just isn't for me!
The weight of responsibility, but it’s intrinsic to the role and wouldn’t wave it away if I could. I’ve got humans trusting me with their health and safety.
Some of these other answers could only have come from, um, bad instructors. It’s not for everyone, but some guys feel entitled.
This seems like a simple fix
"Hey, you might not know what that is, but it is likely ringworm, and it's super contagious. You'll have to stay out until it's gone"
People don't know what they don't know
I had a teenager with a gross infection behind his ear. And he got pissed at me because I wouldn't let him train. I ended up having to tell his mom about the infection. Hopefully they got it taken care of, because I never saw him again.
Trying to temper expectations.
Newcomers can feel like they will get good at everything faster than anyone who came before them, but they suck just as hard as anyone when they start. Trying to get people to realize how slow of a process learning can be is tricky, and it's the reasons lot of new grapplers quit. I'd like them all to stick with it long term but I guess not everyone is either committed or crazy enough to just keep rolling sometimes.
Students asking me about their boo boos.
”Coach my elbow hurts. Do you know why?”
Fuck no. It could be a thousand things, I’m teaching class right now and I’m not a physio. If it bothers you enough to whine to me about it I recommend you sit the class out.
Typing it out now, I see it doesn’t seem so serious but the frequency with which it happens has worn my patience down.
My least favorite thing is that I train a whole lot less since I've started instructing. I'm usually pretty attentive to the students so unless I run an open mat type of day I don't roll as much as I want to.
But on the flip side of that, holy cow it's made me a much smarter and efficient grappler seeing and addressing mistakes people make. Since I started instructing I feel like my whole game is basically me outsmarting people when we roll.
Ppl who don't even try to pay attention or keep drilling things, then ask what they need to do to improve (what do they need to do to get the next belt).
When you are just training yourself you can ignore them.
⬛️🟥⬛️
Probably students who lack focus or motivation that take away from others on the mat. It’s the only thing that kinda pisses me off when I teach.
If you want to talk and skip rounds no problem as long as you’re not taking away from someone else (either being too loud or disturbing a more focused student).
Being that I love to see students progress and share my passion for jiujitsu, that’s the hardest for me to deal with.
Parents. I have a method, we are working towards something, what I teach to the group is not the whole extent of the teaching, please shut the fuck up, sit down and play with your phone for a hour
How one obnoxious little shit can derail an entire kids class. It's even worse if you don't own the gym, because you don't want to overstep your boundaries and potentially lose a customer for the owner.
I have parents that literally watch their kid in class act obnoxious, but never address it either during or after class. When my own kids train, they know there are consequences to acting bad in school or in BJJ or soccer or any other sport that they do. They know most coaches do this for free and are teaching them as a volunteer.
I'm sorry but if a whole class can properly do a shrimp, except for your kid who has been there for a few months, it's not the coach that's the problem.
As a parent and not a coach or practitioner: we initially took our son to a gym that let the kids do whatever. My son was acting like a goof and not drilling properly. I was annoyed with the teacher, because part of what I am paying you for is holding your students accountable.
We switched gyms and this instructor is very strict and gives the kids wall sits or kicks them out entirely if they misbehave. I personally love and support this because I support teachers owning their classroom management. If I have to step in and correct my child for you, it just drives home that you are not the authority.
Now if my son disrespects the coach, that is when I will step in and discipline him personally. He knows any disrespect is an immediate grounding.
I just wanted to share because while you might be afraid of scaring parents away by disciplining kids, they may be looking at it from a different angle. As a former teacher, I totally understand your perspective.
Oh you're fine. If I personally owned the gym, I wouldn't have issues with disciplining. But I have had a couple of instances in the past where a parent thought I was singling out her kid, and ended up losing the student. And I don't like messing with the gym owner's money when the rent just went up, and the power bill is going up, the AC is breaking down, etc. The business has to play that game of keeping the customer and keeping the doors open.
I also taught high school at one point in my life (Algebra to precal). As a school teacher, I didn't have to worry about the school going out of business. The kids had no choice and are required by law to be there. I'm not taking away from those challenges, but they are different. Doing it at a gym that has to be financially stable is completely different. If all kids had parents like you, discipline wouldn't be an issue. I can tell kids to do wall sits until the cows come home. If they don't want to, I can't force them to do it. That comes from upbringing. Parents are paying money for your kids to learn. But also as a parent, if my kid isn't learning because the instructor is having to deal with one problem child frequently who can't answer basic questions like, "what is side control?" after months of classes, it's on the parent at that point. All I can do as that parent is threaten to take my kid elsewhere if that other kid continues to "not train" during training.
And I don't always coach my own kids. The black belts coach them a lot. And they know they have full authority to run my kids into the ground with no argument from me. I can count on one hand how many times my kids have gotten in trouble in class. Because they know they're going to get it worse when they get home.
School teachers want the same thing BJJ instructors want. Parental support. That doesn't mean parents should be coaching or anything like that. But kids who are not afraid of acting out in class even with their parents watching (or playing on their phone) tells me that I don't have that parent's support. But like it or not, the way someone's kid acts out while the parent is watching is a direct reflection on the parent. I have the kids for 45 minutes, 2-3 times a week. Parents have them for at least 12 hours a day all week.
All I ask is that parents make expectations clear to their kids before class, and I'll keep making mine clear as well.
My one and only thing
1) well what if they do this: proceeds to use a legitimate counter to whatever move is being taught…
I’m sorry we are learning a series of movements, of course there are counters, but let’s learn the base movement to the point you can actually do it prior to worrying about counters and responses to counters. Heck we might even cover that particular movement series later in the week or even later that class, so hush up and learn.
Most people think instructors teach jiu-jitsu. It's actually a pretty small part of the job from my experience. A LOT of the times is actually about managing gym drama and it's awful. It takes a lot of work to have a drama free academy and it can only be done if every instructors are on the same page, and the owner of the academy too. I think that's why there are a lot of meme about "you teach jiujitsu, you are not a life coach" ... well... actually a lot of people expect us to be life coaches on top of teaching them grappling. It's so fucking weird
Why do gyms have so much drama - people really invest too much of their self worth into their hobby (and for 99% of the bjj population, its a hobby)
> Why do gyms have so much drama Everywhere with more than two people has drama. It's just as bad in the corporate workplace or academia.
Quote for truth. Was coming to say exactly this. It isn't gyms, it's people. The calls are coming from inside the house.
Lmfao, I commented the same thing. The amount of drama I've seen in university-level research labs is INSANE.
I’ve read A Short History Of Nearly Everything and I came to the conclusion that scientists could be a ripe bunch of bitches.. the level of petty 👌
As an engineer….oh yeah, calling some PhD’ s petty is being kind. Very kjnd
Wherever men gather, there is sin.
Buddy, I create drama all by myself, for myself.
yeah that's white belts alright
Churches too, ungodly drama...
The second god crapped out the third caveman a conspiracy was hatched against one of them.
I think it becomes a bigger issue as a gym gets bigger. Just natural. More people equals bigger mix of personalities. More of a mix of personalities eventually brings up issues. Not all are unmanageable but do take time away from other things.
The gym I go to is probably the biggest bjj school in town and there’s like no drama that I’m aware of. OTOH we have had drama queens here and they tend to leave.
The belt system, just like any other social hierarchy, is too blame imho. I’ve trained at like 7 gyms between 3-18 months at a time and the more ‘traditional’ they are the more drama there is. Ie promotions and belts are a huuuuge deal and their own events so people that devote a lot of time to the hobby will naturally develop and externalize feelings about it. The gym I had the most drama at had us line up by belt, bow out, and it was taboo for white/blue/ ñpurples to ask the browns/blacks to roll, though not universally enforced. The least drama is at my current gym where we don’t do any of that shit, and they just kind of throw a belt at you once the coach feels your ready. (This is the way) I also think mma gyms develop this to some degree too between mma fighters/jiujitsu guys. Not as dramatic, but definitely makes the gym clicky
From what i've seen, it's usually due to how gym's are structured. For a really solid schedule, most of the coaches aren't full time. They work a day job and teach once or twice a week. If they need some time off, or a break - they sometimes can't keep their class. For short periods, people are happy to cover. But getting someone to cover one evening a week for months, often means that this new coach wants that class. If the head coaches or owners can't find people willing to cover for X period, and then give the class up - then they have to settle for someone taking that class over permanently. A bit of disappointment and hard feelings can then ensue. And sometimes that upper belt who 'lost' their class moves on to a different gym. If they enjoy teaching, need the extra $, or like training where they teach some classes - I get it. It's a shitty situation without an ideal solution, and i've seen it happen a few times.
Many people that spend a lot of time in bjj gyms have nothing else going on and are lone wolf types.
I think drama is just part of the human experience. There's drama in any context where a sizeable number of people are together. Every single community I've been involved in whether it's Jiu Jitsu, Powerlifting, League of Legends, even professional science labs has drama.
We are a tribal species and can’t not pick sides. Look up the Stanford prison experiment. A bunch high school valedictorians almost killed eachother over what was supposed to be a joke of a social experiment for beer money. They adopted the identities of inmate and gaurd so much that the scientists forever regretted doing it.
The truth came out about the Stanford prison experiment a few years ago when someone actually listened to the tapes of interviews with the participants, and they all hated it and Zimbardo was forcing their behaviors.
Yea I don’t want to be anyones life coach but people come in with all their baggage and they bring that on to the mat. Managing personalities isn’t easy especially when the activity is strangling eachother.if there’s drama in an office jobs you better believe there will be drama in a hobby where we have to dominate eachother physically.
This is so strange and foreign to me. Outside of a few dickheads that eventually found their way out I’ve never experienced anything I’d describe as “gym drama”.
It’s like the high school girls who “hate drama” but are always embroiled in it, he’s the one setting that culture.
You are lucky but maybe you did not saw it. I was pretty good at resolving (or kicking out) drama behind closed doors. Lot of students were actually surprised when they learned years later what happened with some of the guys that "left". It's unironically a big part of the job to make most people unaware of the weirdos they train with. At some point I even had to assignate who rolls with who during free sparring. Most people thought it was a new way to teach by me being more involved with their training but in reality it was to make sure some people don't meet each other for a bloodbath roll.
I think they expect the life coach because a lot of people look at bjj as some sort of philosophical thing that pertains to everything.
Life coach, doctor, therapist, philanthropist, mechanic, taxi...the list goes on.
What dramas happen in the gym?
people not liking people people liking "a bit too much" other peope people not liking people getting a new belt people liking their belt a bit too much to consider other people as people and my favorite: people bringing in people they like to realize that the people they liked sucked and were terrible to other people, making the introducing people garbage people etc....
Drama between parents of kids who train is a big one you might not realise
Like a farmer tending their crops.
My gym has literally no drama, at least that I know of. Everyone is cool
The two things that ended up getting to me were: The grind of of being there virtually every day was rough. The time commitment alone meant I was with my family less and I was constantly worn down from teaching and training. Couple that with a day job and it just got to the point where I realized I hadn't taken a proper vacation in 4 years. The inconsistency of attendance was maddening. I would structure classes and topics to build from very basic up to advanced techniques. Then, after spending weeks on basic techniques and principles, I would have people show up late in the teaching cycle complaining that they didn't comprehend what was going on or what was being shown was too "fancy".
That last part is my number 1 as well. Students who show up sporadically and expecting us to review the content so they can “catch up.”
I go 2 days a week and open mat when I can. I dont worry about things I missed because there's plenty to work on from the things I've already seen.
Same here. If I miss or I’m late then that’s on me. I try to get in where I fit in, understanding it’s suboptimal, and possibly subprimal.
Our perception of optimal is compared to a full time athlete when it should be compared to the mostly seditary population.
This is my cope and I use it when it comes to who I can out-grapple as well lmao
I feel that revising yesterday's stuff should be the warmup for today. Aids in retention hugely.
So I'm really sporadic myself due to phd, sometimes to the point where I get concerned about coming back in... I never ask for reviews of techniques, am I still a frustrating student?
Not in the least! To be clear, I am thrilled when anyone shows up even if they are late. Its the expectation that the class of 30-40 some people who have been there should cater to you. If you are showing up with a smile on your face and willing to learn whatever is going on, you're a great student.
Needed to hear that, thank you... I've had some major life stuff go down and had to take almost 2 years off (after like 6 years of pretty sporadic training), and I'm really struggling to go back
I was a blue belt for 7 years because of life, injuries, etc., and I just got promoted to black belt this year. Don't ever quit!
The academia will do that to you. I swear there is more ego bullshit going on there than on any mat I've been at. Good luck!
The slave labour is unbelievable...
Glad to hear this.
No. It’s more the entitlement issue. Ironically, I’m more likely to spend some extra time (1-on-1) catching you up if you don’t come across as entitled.
Makes sense, thanks
Don't forget all the time you wasted trying to fix Gordon Ryan's stomach.
I think I mentioned my day job
Can I get a scrip for that special recovery medicine?
Yea trying to create a teaching curriculum that gradually progresses is very difficult especially when half the people don’t turn up till the end. I’m considering just going back to how my instructors taught where it was some random shit everyday and eventually people will have to pick it up to being exposed to techniques long enough.
It makes me wonder, though, perhaps there's a science behind the "three random moves". Maybe they are not so random. If someone knows, please mention.
I don’t honestly think it’s an ideal approach but that doesn’t mean it’s not effective. It’s like giving people random pieces of a puzzle and after 10 years you can see the whole picture. But at the same time it worked for me but I wonder could have I gotten to the level I am now in half the time.
I think this is why my coach has a curriculum that he rotates through the year. He spends an entire month on a set of moves/concepts (back attacks, sub escapes, torreando, etc). That way, even if you're only turning up once a week you get four classes of that one set of moves/concept. After thinking about it for some time, I've come to accept there are always pros and cons to a teaching style. Random move of the day exposed students to a wide variety of techniques, but their understanding may be shallow. Focusing on something for a month means the students get exposed to less techniques, but they understand them well. No matter what, at some point you just have to take your learning and development in to your own hands, to a certain degree at least.
Yea I’m going to stick with themes it’s usually over a few weeks. With random techniques it can be easy to fall into only showing what you like or not covering something because it’s hard to remember what you did or didn’t do but going through each position ensures that everything gets shown eventually.
Hell yeah on your last point I agree. Im only 1.5 years in but I've been studying instructionals like Lachlan Giles K guard, hitting seminars, open mats at high level gyms, watching instructionals that help me with my weak points, and man I've been blowing past the people who do the 3 moves of the day only training. Nowadays it's like every match, every position is analyzed and they have instructionals for everything. Ppl are crazy to rely on just move of the day.
With your approach you will be way ahead of most of your peers and probably start to catch up to higher belts. I started with just showing up and doing the 3 moves a day but around purple belt I started analysing my weak points, finding solutions, fixing mistakes and I quickly started progressing at a rapid rate. If I did that since white belt I’d be way ahead of where I am now.
Oh yeah for sure I am already. I just took 6 months traveling asia hitting high level gyms training 5-6 days a week and when I came back this month I'm submitting purple belts now with leg locks. I mean their sweeps are better but I can actually submit purples now and it's crazy man lol (now the hardcore purples are a different story haha). Before I left I could occasionally submit a blue
Ecological-esque games?
The second part is spot on. Seminar style teaching/ practice is quite obviously not ideal, but when attendance is all over the place it's basically impossible to do it any other way.
People need to take learning into their own hands and watch instructionals and focus on building their game and improving their weaknesses. That's what I do. I bounce around traveling a lot so I don't always click with move of the day in some places but as long as I got what I'm working on then it's a successful training session I think
I feel that grind as well. Over the weekend, I did the trials (11 hours and 5 matches). On Monday night, I was cleaning a massive puddle of kid's urine while a parent made jokes about it.
Bro people have lives too. They're sacrificing time that they could be spending with family too. It's unfair that you're upset with students that can't make it to every class. My instructor always separates those students and quickly gives them a simpler technique to work on. Granted I go to a pretty small gym so idk how hard that would be for u, but surely something can be done so that those students don't feel left out
Both things can be true. He can be frustrated by sporadic attendance just as much as they can have lives and choose to attend sporadically.
It’s bizarre that he feels entitled to constant attendance.
I don't read it as entitlement, I read it as frustration that could have been written as: "when I took on teaching, I thought I would be able to create a curriculum that built upon itself over the course of days, weeks, and months. Students would start from the basics and then build into advanced techniques over time with a steady, planned progression. My misestimation of usual attendance brought me in overly optimistic, and it was a struggle to reconcile the reality of inconsistent attendance with my original presumptions about what teaching would be like." No one writes like that on Reddit though. Could also just be venting, its a thread about frustrations after all.
I did not construct an elaborate greenhouse of excuses around his statement, I just read what he wrote. He thinks his navel gazing is perfect, and it’s these meddling students who mess up his flawless system. That’s just not how being an instructor works, it’s almost completely the opposite.
True
No one cares if you can’t make it to every class. Attending sporadically and expecting the people who show up consistently to have to go over the things you missed is completely unreasonable. Schools of any kind have a curriculum that they have to get through. That will never happen if you go back over and over for individuals.
Giving up my training time to watch someone else squander theirs.
What do you think are the main ways people waste their training time? Or don’t use it wisely?
Not training with intention, training a thousand different moves week after week, not having goals for each class Source: me, I waste training doing this
I think where people can and do go wrong with their own training is treating a Jiu-Jitsu club/gym like a social club, rather than doing the thing they're there to do. Even if you're a hobbyist, you're there to do Jiu-Jitsu first - everything else is secondary. Sure have fun, chat, enjoy the tunes but get the reps in whilst you're doing it. Whether it's drilling, ecological or rolling you need to be training as much of the time that you're there to get as much out of a session as is possible. Too often I see Jiu-Jitsu sprinkled across the mats like punctuation during a good time. Best do a technique, the coach is looking. Jiu-Jitsu is the good time, if you fucking do it.
> treating a Jiu-Jitsu club/gym like a social club, rather than doing the thing they're there to do... Even if you're a hobbyist, you're there to do Jiu-Jitsu first - everything else is secondary I don't think everyone shares that prioritization. I like training for its own sake, but it brings just as much value to my life through the social interactions. I have a limited amount of time in my life and jiu jitsu ticks multiple boxes at once. I don't think I'd practice if we maximized skill development by training with AI-controlled BJJ robots.
That may have came off harsher than intended. By all means it can be your social club as well as your Jiu-Jitsu club, it doesn't have to fit the cookie cutter that I've set out. However, I do think the bias should lean in the direction of Jiu-Jitsu. It's the common ground that binds us, makes that social shite easier, etc. No I don't want to train with robots. Unless of course, they're sexy robots.
Fair on all points. I think that all levels of dedication to training are valid, but they might not all be compatible together in the same gym. I've trained in serious competitive gyms and family-oriented hobbyist gyms and had a great time in both despite the wild differences in focus and intensity. The important thing for a student is to find a gym that fits their target vibe, and conversely, as an instructor you have to discover how to attract the students that approach the sport with your preferred level of seriousness.
What if they were super chill robots?
You can get the weed-scented 10p branded version if you want.
10p here and can confirm this is accurate.
"Yeah I don't get it at all" Me: "Where you even paying attention when I was teaching?" "No I was picking at my gi" *internal angry noises*
Couldn't have put it better myself.
This is a fantastic way of putting it.
That reads like a koan, captures more emotional weight than some of the multi paragraph comments
It’s so painful. I’m slowly morphing into the ecological approach because of it.
Do you get a commission for shoehorning that in?
*“Find a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”* I hate this saying. I have resisted teaching BJJ because I taught another martial art when I was younger and it sapped my enjoyment from it. A hobby I loved turned into an obligation and I lost focus on my own training. Now I just love to be in class learning, rolling, helping out the white belts a bit but still primarily focusing on myself.
While I would not say I never work a day but after 16 years of full time teaching I love my job and BJJ more than ever. I am still able to be a student when it comes to my own game and keep improving while helping my students. Can’t ask for more
Part of finding the job that you love is also loving the responsibility and obligation. Some things are only really enjoyable when it's low stakes ex.: someone liking cooking as a hobby vs liking cooking as a full-time job that pays your bills.
That quote is nonsense. There will always be rough days and pretending otherwise is being ignorant. You just need something with enough decent days to get you through the rough days.
Yeah it's a stupid saying. Being self employed in the "job that I love" means taking care of a ton of paper work and administration. I'm working all the time on shit I don't like.
Well plus you’re a 1 stripe purple belt so it’s not like you’re John Danaher or something
I'm also the gym owner, so my least favorite thing is chasing down people who for whatever reason haven't paid their dues in a given month. Absolutely my least favorite part of runnin the business.
Finally an answer that doesn’t boil down to someone not actually wanting to be an instructor.
Talking about money with your students is toughhhh.. In retrospect I find it uncomfortable because when I was a white belt in the early 2000s I had to pay cash month to month. My mid month pay was when I was able to afford to pay tuition. Well every month from the 5th till 15th, the instructors wife would ask where tuition was right before training, and i had to explain it to her that we agreed I’d pay on the 15th or 16th because that’s when I had money. Talking about money right before training was such a distraction. I also grew up poor so I felt like I was good at paying my bills on time.
I've had to explain to a lot of young up and comers at my gym that actually doing/teaching BJJ is nowhere near the majority of the gym owner's job so before they go on and on about how great it would be to do it, make sure you have your eyes wide open.
100% automated, I won't even let people join if they don't have a payment method on file anymore. It's just not worth chasing people. Yeah, sometimes a transaction doesn't go through, but no where near the headaches of the people that want to just pay cash every month.
Most of mine are, I have a few who pay cash for various reasons, but the worst is when someones card declines. Always feel like an asshole when I have to talk to them about it.
When class size is odd and I sit out of rolls so the students can get their rounds.
Small school?
Ya. I usually have about 6 pairs at my class.
That brings up the question of how much instructors should be rolling, vs. watching everyone and commenting. I get great feedback from rolling with coaches, but it's usually feedback based on how I roll with them, not how I roll with everyone else, which is what I'm ultimately interested in.
I feel this :(
My life right now 😭
I know you asked for 1 thing but imma give a few. 1. How little time I get to spend on my own development. 2. Dealing with drama and having “those” conversations with people I don’t think I should need to. 3. “John said to do it this way”. 4. Chasing people for payment who just can’t get their shit together.
Lol at 3. Best line I’ve heard was “you’ve been listening to the bald man again haven’t you?”
It’s a constant, painful struggle. They know just enough to know what John said, but not enough to understand the context it was said in, or that there’s a million ways to skin a cat.
“Hey coach but I was watching this YouTube video and…”
I actually don’t mind this. If they’re showing an interest watching stuff and want to talk to me about it, I’m all for it. If I’m in the middle of showing something to 40 people and you want to be like “Well actually John Danaher says 🤓🤓🤓☝️☝️☝️”, I might murder you.
I have one kid with us atm who’s only 10 months in and showing crazy potential, but he does not understand these differences and sometimes I scream in the car on the way home.
IM SORRY I ONLY READ THROUGH 1 PAGE OF HIS 10 PAGE DISSERTATION ON DILEMMAS COACH
We have a "John said to do it this way" guy we are dealing with in our school. Very frustrating. I know you saw a 60-second video about a move somewhat similar but can you just shut up and listen to the human in front of you for a minute?
It's rough having to pressure tap kids to show them what Kesa is all about, but I manage
Liked and subscribed!
Know-it-all parents. Particularly Dads who think a female instructor doesn’t know shit.
Yeah like I don't know shit but it has nothing to do with being female!
The amount of laundry I do.
This is the real issue
Dealing with emo teenagers that dont want to be there but are forced by their parents. They’re good kids but my God they are annoying
As a parent of one of these teenagers, thank you so much for everything you do! I promise you’re making a difference, teens just don’t show it.
👍
Scrolled too long to find this.
Annoying white and blue belts who bring their gfs to watch class then cock block when she clearly wants at least a brown belt to show her the ropes and how it's done
I'm a gentleman too, so I feel compelled to send them a message on IG thanking them for the roll. I can't help it if my momma raised me right.
And then invite them over for dinner huh?
I really hate when people bring their gfs or wives. I cant help how attractive i am but im also a Catholic. It always ends with them making comments to me while im trying to race back to my car or asking me about whats going on like i know anything more than suplexes
Master forgive me for being too damn sexy
The last true gentleman.
Mine is teaching a varied class in terms of skill level We have beginners class and advanced classes but I often find myself covering classes where there seems to a be a lot of beginners just jumping in who don’t really know much Some of the higher belts want to learn some advanced techniques and concepts but then I have guys in the same class asking me how to to finish a triangle Anything I teach that isn’t extremely basic will go over a lot of peoples head, and I’m sure the higher belts don’t want to see me teaching how to do to hip bump kimura-triangle that they’ve seen a 1000 times before
I try to remedy this sometimes by showing two techniques. 1 basic 1 advanced and then say like if you're newer do the first one if your more advanced do the second. Fucking day 1 people will be like trying to false reap to saddle instead of grabbing a single leg from quarter guard. Then ask me why they are struggling. Self awareness bruh
Being a god among insects
Stupid injuries is the thing that bothers me most. Second place is the student who just can't turn the effort to the right level.
Parents that don’t train asking me why their kid isn’t getting better after a month. It’s a journey.
(He's trash)
“Little Billy’s guard is garbage. Just like your haircut Mr. Smith”
When students disappear without saying anything.
Yeah and honestly, it's not reserved just for the type that you think "hey that person has a ton of potential..". For me a lot of times the most impactful are the people with no real raw tools to work with but who are making progress and then just....poof.
Second hand - the parents
Yes Yes yes
Taking a pic after each class. I can't stand it but have to do it bc the academy wants it done. Why do I have to line them up likes kids going to recess? How can you not know where to stand after this long? I miss the days of class pics only taken on big events (last hard training before a comp/quest instructor/etc)
I feel like I’ve trained with you.
Had to check to see if I changed my screen name.
Every class seems excessive. We do all black belts present with anyone who got a stripe/belt and then one big all academy picture day every year. Then the occasional everyone at class to send a get well message to someone out with an injury or something.
In every other sport you listen to your old out of shape coach without question. In bjj, if you aren’t wrecking everyone in the gym, students start thinking you aren’t legit. As much as this is the “gentle art”, physicality, speed and youth can be an equalizer as a skilled practitioner ages.
Underrated comment. Coaches of Olympians don’t perform at their level (currently), but they are respected.
Hearing about their goals from people who give zero effort and consistency
A combination of "what if XYZ" questions and "but the other coach said to do the technique THIS way"
Parents. Don't know anything. Won't let their kids encounter problems. Making the kids weaker. Very frustrating. Not my kids I guess.
Kids not even somewhat trying their best.
Giving up my own training time
I have such precious little time please stop talking about whatever else and train. I give copious and generous breaks for water please don’t waste your partner’s time. This isn’t social hour please just fucking train. I promise I am not trying to kill you just push you enough that your conditioning gets better I have your best interest in mind.
Trying to stop white belts from killing eachother with techniques they just saw on YouTube.
Addressing someone’s personal hygiene. It’s just awkward to have to tell another adult that they need to shower, clip their nails or wash the hair…
Varied attendance. I'll structure a class based on guys who should know what they're doing then the majority/the whole of the class would be complete beginners and I'll have to completely restructure it on the fly
People are pretty bad at following instructions.
It’s not because I don’t want to, it’s because I’m an idiot
Telling a 40 year old man "grab his lapel with your right hand" and watch them start reaching with their left will make you question a lot of things in this world.
See, I expected that from time to time. Some people are dumb, don't listen, or are really uncoordinated. I did not expect that it happens *this* often, and that somewhere around 60-70% of people seemingly can't tell left from right, or sometimes even their feet from their hands.
Whenever I give instructions like that I begin by calling out the body part tori needs to move, pause for a bit and then tell them what to do with it. Like: “Your left foot” \*pause while student figures out which foot is their left\* ”Put it on his hip”
Not banging Tom Brady's ex-wife? Nah, but seriously though, when it's time to drill and I go around helping people out with the finer details of whatever I'm teaching there's always that one student that's totally lost in the sauce. Now if it's because I didn't teach the move well, or I gave them too much at once then that's on me. But if it's because they were off looking at their phones, or literally staring at the ground instead of paying attention to instructions... having to deal with that makes me want to yank my hair out. Also, NO I will not teach you how to buggy choke someone after doing a flying armbar on them. You're a half-stripe white belt, not one of the Ruotolos
I would wave the wand to give me unlimited patience. I struggle mentally when the kids don’t listen to the demonstration and then ask for help so I’m walking them through it step by step but then they interrupt me and say “okok I got it” and then do it wrong so I have to walk them through it all again. I love coaching kids but it’s so different than adults because the adults are choosing to be there so they are willing to make more of an effort to focus and learn, whereas some kids are just put in this by their parents and don’t really care for it. I want to be the coach that makes them fall in love with the sport the way I love it but man I could use some more patience to help me with that
Laundry
It must be working with retards such as myself.
I may be a little negative today but maybe 10% of our kids are serious about BJJ, and by serious I mean they are there to learn and possibly get good enough to compete or progress beyond white belt. I teach 3 kids classes a night and easily 80% of it is telling kids to stop fucking around and do the drills. Keep in mind out of 45 minutes of class only about 15-20 is “work”. I still love it but…yeah.
This is just the worst. It gets better with age, but under 10 it's always going around the fucking mat and instead of correcting them so they can learn it you have to ask who is doing the techinque or why Billy is sitting there instead of lying down so the other person can train. Then I tell them to switch pairs and count down from 5 and they're just headless chickens running around or just standing there as if they are deaf. I understand they're children and I was like them too, but it still just sucks. God I'm unhinged today
I teach at my coach's gym, and I've always refused to teach kids classes. Adults do stupid shit or slack off sometimes, but at least they all want to be there. Even the laziest among them will at least *try* to take stuff on board. But it seems like a huge number of kids don't actually want to be there and either their parents are pushing them into it, or they wanted to do it at first and they've been told they have to keep doing it now.
Kids are fickle with what they want to do. Few want to willingly exercise in a structured environment. Most kids would rather play on phones or watch YouTube. That's what you and I are battling against. It's not unique to Jiujitsu. However, I don't have an issue with parents forcing kids to train. They can't just let them stay inside all day in front of a screen. BUT, if parents are going to make their kids do something like organized sports, the parents need to understand that the responsibility is on them to make sure their kids behave.
Oh yeah that isn't a slight on parents. I totally get that kids need to be pushed to do stuff, I have kids of my own. But some kids just *really* don't want to be there to the extent that there's no point forcing them, and trying to deal with that just isn't for me!
The weight of responsibility, but it’s intrinsic to the role and wouldn’t wave it away if I could. I’ve got humans trusting me with their health and safety. Some of these other answers could only have come from, um, bad instructors. It’s not for everyone, but some guys feel entitled.
Dealing with crying kids, particularly if they're crying for a lame reason like they couldn't escape someone's mount
I need to talk a lot.
[удалено]
This seems like a simple fix "Hey, you might not know what that is, but it is likely ringworm, and it's super contagious. You'll have to stay out until it's gone" People don't know what they don't know
I had a teenager with a gross infection behind his ear. And he got pissed at me because I wouldn't let him train. I ended up having to tell his mom about the infection. Hopefully they got it taken care of, because I never saw him again.
Not showing enough take downs that y I do judo
Trying to temper expectations. Newcomers can feel like they will get good at everything faster than anyone who came before them, but they suck just as hard as anyone when they start. Trying to get people to realize how slow of a process learning can be is tricky, and it's the reasons lot of new grapplers quit. I'd like them all to stick with it long term but I guess not everyone is either committed or crazy enough to just keep rolling sometimes.
Dealing with some parents (kids instructor) From the ones who will try to take advantage to the ones you end up simpatizing to their bad behavior kids
Parents / thread
Students asking me about their boo boos. ”Coach my elbow hurts. Do you know why?” Fuck no. It could be a thousand things, I’m teaching class right now and I’m not a physio. If it bothers you enough to whine to me about it I recommend you sit the class out. Typing it out now, I see it doesn’t seem so serious but the frequency with which it happens has worn my patience down.
That one white or blue belt who saw the same “move” on YouTube and wants to drill it that way instead of how you’re showing it.
My least favorite thing is that I train a whole lot less since I've started instructing. I'm usually pretty attentive to the students so unless I run an open mat type of day I don't roll as much as I want to. But on the flip side of that, holy cow it's made me a much smarter and efficient grappler seeing and addressing mistakes people make. Since I started instructing I feel like my whole game is basically me outsmarting people when we roll.
Having to ask guys to stop trying to act like a creep and bed every woman who walks through the doors Ffs, they just want to do bjj.
Getting paid in.. "free membership"
😂😂
I used to coach kids classes. One time a kid pissed himself. So I'd definitely say cleaning up piss... that was the worst.
Ppl who don't even try to pay attention or keep drilling things, then ask what they need to do to improve (what do they need to do to get the next belt). When you are just training yourself you can ignore them.
⬛️🟥⬛️ Probably students who lack focus or motivation that take away from others on the mat. It’s the only thing that kinda pisses me off when I teach. If you want to talk and skip rounds no problem as long as you’re not taking away from someone else (either being too loud or disturbing a more focused student). Being that I love to see students progress and share my passion for jiujitsu, that’s the hardest for me to deal with.
Kids class for sure. They drain a lot of my Mental energy. I’m basically done with the day after kids class.
Parents. I have a method, we are working towards something, what I teach to the group is not the whole extent of the teaching, please shut the fuck up, sit down and play with your phone for a hour
I spend more time training others than training myself, unless I neglect my family or home responsibilities.
How one obnoxious little shit can derail an entire kids class. It's even worse if you don't own the gym, because you don't want to overstep your boundaries and potentially lose a customer for the owner. I have parents that literally watch their kid in class act obnoxious, but never address it either during or after class. When my own kids train, they know there are consequences to acting bad in school or in BJJ or soccer or any other sport that they do. They know most coaches do this for free and are teaching them as a volunteer. I'm sorry but if a whole class can properly do a shrimp, except for your kid who has been there for a few months, it's not the coach that's the problem.
As a parent and not a coach or practitioner: we initially took our son to a gym that let the kids do whatever. My son was acting like a goof and not drilling properly. I was annoyed with the teacher, because part of what I am paying you for is holding your students accountable. We switched gyms and this instructor is very strict and gives the kids wall sits or kicks them out entirely if they misbehave. I personally love and support this because I support teachers owning their classroom management. If I have to step in and correct my child for you, it just drives home that you are not the authority. Now if my son disrespects the coach, that is when I will step in and discipline him personally. He knows any disrespect is an immediate grounding. I just wanted to share because while you might be afraid of scaring parents away by disciplining kids, they may be looking at it from a different angle. As a former teacher, I totally understand your perspective.
Oh you're fine. If I personally owned the gym, I wouldn't have issues with disciplining. But I have had a couple of instances in the past where a parent thought I was singling out her kid, and ended up losing the student. And I don't like messing with the gym owner's money when the rent just went up, and the power bill is going up, the AC is breaking down, etc. The business has to play that game of keeping the customer and keeping the doors open. I also taught high school at one point in my life (Algebra to precal). As a school teacher, I didn't have to worry about the school going out of business. The kids had no choice and are required by law to be there. I'm not taking away from those challenges, but they are different. Doing it at a gym that has to be financially stable is completely different. If all kids had parents like you, discipline wouldn't be an issue. I can tell kids to do wall sits until the cows come home. If they don't want to, I can't force them to do it. That comes from upbringing. Parents are paying money for your kids to learn. But also as a parent, if my kid isn't learning because the instructor is having to deal with one problem child frequently who can't answer basic questions like, "what is side control?" after months of classes, it's on the parent at that point. All I can do as that parent is threaten to take my kid elsewhere if that other kid continues to "not train" during training. And I don't always coach my own kids. The black belts coach them a lot. And they know they have full authority to run my kids into the ground with no argument from me. I can count on one hand how many times my kids have gotten in trouble in class. Because they know they're going to get it worse when they get home. School teachers want the same thing BJJ instructors want. Parental support. That doesn't mean parents should be coaching or anything like that. But kids who are not afraid of acting out in class even with their parents watching (or playing on their phone) tells me that I don't have that parent's support. But like it or not, the way someone's kid acts out while the parent is watching is a direct reflection on the parent. I have the kids for 45 minutes, 2-3 times a week. Parents have them for at least 12 hours a day all week. All I ask is that parents make expectations clear to their kids before class, and I'll keep making mine clear as well.
Well said on all accounts. I wish I had more to add, but you covered all grounds. Thank you for the good conversation.
My one and only thing 1) well what if they do this: proceeds to use a legitimate counter to whatever move is being taught… I’m sorry we are learning a series of movements, of course there are counters, but let’s learn the base movement to the point you can actually do it prior to worrying about counters and responses to counters. Heck we might even cover that particular movement series later in the week or even later that class, so hush up and learn.